Hey all, Happy New Years Eve! I want to wish you the best in 2007 and for being both quiet lurkers and loud voices when you chime in. "May the best days of 2006 be your worst days of 2007"
Thanks in part to (Not comprehensive by any means. Please feel free to jump in and frass):
My family, (Mom, Dad, Rocky, RSvP and his WeeF...plus kid-to-be) for their support, advice, assistance, and love.
My support group: Redwright, Rusty, Feej...the ones who I love. What...a difference a year makes.
Dorajar. Moped. MeeP's. Almost a year. No frass. No worries. You brought me some calm, love, and laughter amidst all my frass...
Ry-Gonn and Ssssstevie...long term friends, are such a precious commodity. They make oil seem like a trifle.
New friends and loved ones (The Norefunds Gang- Including Chowie, Matty-boom-boom, Gabe-pril, Wong, et. al) Melinite, Fairiepainter, MD (I wondered a year ago if I'd even be worthy of a smooch) Shinobi-Wan, Kat-Food, etc for enriching my life like Iranian Plutonium. I love you.
Old and absent friends, re-connected with: Linzie, G7, Raven, Twocherries, Welltrainedmonkey...for everything in the past that made part of who I am today. For where we are now. And someday, where we wish to be. So we can look back, drunk, and say "Jesus...do you remember when we did _____?"
Have a safe, and terrrrrif new years. Be safe. Know love. Barring the safety and the love bit, always fall back on a strong side kick.
And for the love- Stay off the roads: The piggies are out in droves.
"May the best days of 2006 be your worst days of 2007"
See y'all in '07!
Sunday, December 31, 2006
Friday, December 29, 2006
Channeling Saint Francis...
Baby P and Georgie, checking out the squirrels. 12/26/2006. Still hungover at this point, but no massive head injury as a result of the freezer door. Yet. Georgie licked my nose, and was purring. In time for Purim. This is unusual due to the fact that George doesn't normally like being picked up all that much. Oh sure, he'll tolerate it. Maybe even give you a raspy nostril lick. But that's a warning. Then the chattering will start. Followed by the bunny feet doing that little kicky thing. Then it's "best be down", or the bastige will start flipping around like Regan in "The Exorcist". No lie.
Rocky and Baby P, X-mas morning. Rocky is getting a whiff of a bloody mary kiss. (Gross). He's my hairy younger brother, even though he's 56 in dog years. We have this arrangement whenever I visit my folks where he gets super hyper-barky and I have to sit on their stairwell while he jumps up on me and gives me a "hug" (Paws on both of my shoulders) this is usually immediately followed by "kisses" on both of my ears (Funny. He doesn't look French) before hopping down. (And followed with my dad looming after him saying "WHOSE doggie are YOU?!?!")
I usually wear my grubbier shirts and light colors whenever I visit, lest I return home looking like a sasquatch.
WATCHED!
Photo by RSvP, Christmas 2006. My "Wonder Woman" pose. And here you thought I only dug Spider-Man.
Well campers. There 'tis. Two clicking, ticking, fix...ing, er, "ed" watches. Dorajar conspired with RSvP to appropriate my watches from my nightstand (I can see the poor thing now. Digging through passports, old b'day cards, cufflinks, tarot cards, action figures, and expired prophylactics. In my mind, it was probably akin to Willie Scott digging through the creepy bugs in "Temple of Doom" to find the fulcrum switch to save Short Round and Indiana Jones from being crushed and impaled)
So yeah. I can tell time. And oddly enough, the Fossil watch (silver) is a lil' looser than when I first got it.
Thanks guys. That's one of my most meaningful gifts evah.
xo
Thursday, December 28, 2006
Best novelty appliance ever...
"Clam Ram" photo taken by RSvP on X-mas morning, 2006, whilst looking for...I don't know. A ladle or some s#it.I'm sometimes convinced that I was born in the wrong era. I think I would've thrived being a home-owner hipster cat in the 70's. You know? The clothes. The music. Throwing cocktail parties and making drinks like a Manhatten, or a Pink Squirrel. Watching bad 70's kung fu and horror movies. Being able to see "Star Wars" on the big screen. Like, a good "Star Wars". (By "good" I mean, "original trilogy") Saying catchy things like "Hey, man" or "Keep on Truckin'" to you know... To everybody.
But, man. This has got to be the most horribly entendre'-ish named kitchen utensil ever. I mean, what if they called a bread machine...I don't know. "Yeast Stuffer"?
Yeah. RSvP, his wife and I all had a good "WTF" chuckle after finding that guy.
"Clam Ram", btw.
I need adult supervision, part deux.
Wearing mom's new bike helmet, X-mas morning 2006. (You can't see it, but it's "Spider-Man" blue and red.)So I mighta mentioned that Dorajar and I were a waste of space on Boxing Day. Went to bed feeling fine that night, but I'm guessing the sheer volume and combinations of various types of liquour we consumed during the course of the night attributed to a level of toxicity that bordered on dangerous i.e. We were hungover as f#ck. Big time. Like, no amount of Ibuprofen was helping the ice pick that was driving into my temple. Bkfst w/Ro and his co-worker was fine and dandy despite some burnt toastage. (Note to self: Fetching server's don't come in until the weekend. IJS) We stumbled back to my house where we promptly passed out again.
Later that night, I was emptying the ice cube trays and refilling them. One of the ice cubes dropped to the floor in front of the fridge and slid over. I bent over to retrieve it, shot upright like a good ninja when "CRRRACKO!" : Smacked the corner of the freezer door right into the center of my head. I can still feel the indentation up there, and MAN does it hurt to touch.
Let's not forget, my head was still splitting at that point. Not. Fun. For. Buddies.
I really probably need help.
Wednesday, December 27, 2006
Day, b'day...
Whew. Have you ever had a hangover last over 24 hours? Scary.
Merrrrrry couple of days after X-mas y’all! Here’s a quickie re-cap of the festivities so I can get back to the pile o’ work that accrued in my absence.
12/25: After frassin’ with the ‘Bean in the a.m. and exchanging gifts (He got “Sweeney Todd” CD, I got a coffee-keeper jar and a pound of obsidian blend. I’m easy) I headed out to Ply-Moose to help mom and dad continue to clean and get ready. Dad and I drank BM’s, while noshing on Shrimp cocktail, Mixed nuts, and pickled herring b4 opening pressies. Which was fuuuuun. Like, I don't remember having this many abound since I was a kid. It was a little silly. (I’ll post highlight pics after I get’em. Sufficed to say the watches are fixed, I have album frames, and a bevvie of other clothing items/treats/doo-dads for the home and car.) After our 3rd Bloody Mary, Dad and I ambled over to the table for dinner. (Ham...which even though we figured 3 out of five of us don’t care for it- he still wanted to make it. Ish. ) We also nibbled these delicious and humongous cheese ravioli topped with pureed butternut squash. Heaven in your mouth, but I think I ticked Dad off since I only had a little bit. HEY, I was going to dinner in 3 hours!
For the love. I hadda split around 5pm. I told Dorajar I would be home by 3. Whoops. Better start using the watch, kiddo.
Mo and I met up as soon as I came home and exchanged our presents. (Even though her stocking smelled of marinade- I hooked her up with a book on diagramming sentences, wine, a coupon for big-kid stuff, socks, and crafty artisan earrings.) After that we pretty much turned and bolted to the hotel, dropped off our gear and headed to Kikugawa for dinner, where they had… wait for it...an all you can eat sushi buffet. Over sake and a s#itty sake-tini, I actually accomplished an off-joked of feat: I ate my own weight in sushi. (I ate salmon and smelt egg sushi rolls fer cryin out loud. What?) The downside to my gorging is that the idea of sushi right now is so abhorrent that I don't think I'll ever be able to eat the filthy stuff again. At least until next week.
Back to the hotel room for a power nap before folks started arriving. (I almost cancelled. I was so tired. “Allll right. You can let people in…but tell’em I’m not gonna wear pants. It’s MY birthday and I don’t wanna wear PANTS”)
It was a good group of folks. We drank champagne, white wine, and 12 year old scotch out of edible peppermint shot glasses. (We were low on cups) Magrooders gave me a card that was signed by the cast of "Loot" which almost made me cry. After we had most of the crew together, we then skedaddled over to Gameworks for good times- DDR, that virtua-boxing game (where I apparently hit the screen.) and GAUNTLET. (If they didn’t close at midnight, I’m pretty sure BWJ/Gangler/Grantpa and I would still be trying to get Wizard some food. Badly. And guess what? I still seem to have 2 nearly full game cards with over 400 pts each. Why I did that, I don't know) After Gameworks closed, we hit the Saloon for more fun and dancing. Some lonely drunk dood tried grabbing my twinkie so I had to keep Dorajar w/in arms reach at all time. There was an a$$le$$ chaps Santa. And the shirtless sweaty tweaker that danced for 2 straight hours. (No pun intended) Nice to know that birthday soiree’s there don’t change from year to year. And this’ll mark the 3rd or 4th time whooping it up there. (As Dorajar pointed out: “I guess only the Nerds and the Gay boys are allowed to go drinking on X-mas”) After THEY closed we headed back to the room 509 for some BS and Whiskey shots before we kicked folks out and crashed at 3:45am.
The wake-up part? On Clown-boxing day? Was heinous. We rode out day-long hangovers that even Ibuprofen couldn’t combat. We were useless to the world yesterday.
Thanks again to all the well-wishers and birthday greeters who sent cards and love. There was a lot of love around all day on the 25th. It filled you up and carried you around on it’s back like a papoose, it did. Happy Holidays, and my love and clear vision to you.
The rest of this week is gonna be fly-by frassy. Work. Rehearsal. Rinse, lather, repeat. Hooooo boy. We open in a week and a ½ . Momma…ah’m ssssskeeered!
Merrrrrry couple of days after X-mas y’all! Here’s a quickie re-cap of the festivities so I can get back to the pile o’ work that accrued in my absence.
12/25: After frassin’ with the ‘Bean in the a.m. and exchanging gifts (He got “Sweeney Todd” CD, I got a coffee-keeper jar and a pound of obsidian blend. I’m easy) I headed out to Ply-Moose to help mom and dad continue to clean and get ready. Dad and I drank BM’s, while noshing on Shrimp cocktail, Mixed nuts, and pickled herring b4 opening pressies. Which was fuuuuun. Like, I don't remember having this many abound since I was a kid. It was a little silly. (I’ll post highlight pics after I get’em. Sufficed to say the watches are fixed, I have album frames, and a bevvie of other clothing items/treats/doo-dads for the home and car.) After our 3rd Bloody Mary, Dad and I ambled over to the table for dinner. (Ham...which even though we figured 3 out of five of us don’t care for it- he still wanted to make it. Ish. ) We also nibbled these delicious and humongous cheese ravioli topped with pureed butternut squash. Heaven in your mouth, but I think I ticked Dad off since I only had a little bit. HEY, I was going to dinner in 3 hours!
For the love. I hadda split around 5pm. I told Dorajar I would be home by 3. Whoops. Better start using the watch, kiddo.
Mo and I met up as soon as I came home and exchanged our presents. (Even though her stocking smelled of marinade- I hooked her up with a book on diagramming sentences, wine, a coupon for big-kid stuff, socks, and crafty artisan earrings.) After that we pretty much turned and bolted to the hotel, dropped off our gear and headed to Kikugawa for dinner, where they had… wait for it...an all you can eat sushi buffet. Over sake and a s#itty sake-tini, I actually accomplished an off-joked of feat: I ate my own weight in sushi. (I ate salmon and smelt egg sushi rolls fer cryin out loud. What?) The downside to my gorging is that the idea of sushi right now is so abhorrent that I don't think I'll ever be able to eat the filthy stuff again. At least until next week.
Back to the hotel room for a power nap before folks started arriving. (I almost cancelled. I was so tired. “Allll right. You can let people in…but tell’em I’m not gonna wear pants. It’s MY birthday and I don’t wanna wear PANTS”)
It was a good group of folks. We drank champagne, white wine, and 12 year old scotch out of edible peppermint shot glasses. (We were low on cups) Magrooders gave me a card that was signed by the cast of "Loot" which almost made me cry. After we had most of the crew together, we then skedaddled over to Gameworks for good times- DDR, that virtua-boxing game (where I apparently hit the screen.) and GAUNTLET. (If they didn’t close at midnight, I’m pretty sure BWJ/Gangler/Grantpa and I would still be trying to get Wizard some food. Badly. And guess what? I still seem to have 2 nearly full game cards with over 400 pts each. Why I did that, I don't know) After Gameworks closed, we hit the Saloon for more fun and dancing. Some lonely drunk dood tried grabbing my twinkie so I had to keep Dorajar w/in arms reach at all time. There was an a$$le$$ chaps Santa. And the shirtless sweaty tweaker that danced for 2 straight hours. (No pun intended) Nice to know that birthday soiree’s there don’t change from year to year. And this’ll mark the 3rd or 4th time whooping it up there. (As Dorajar pointed out: “I guess only the Nerds and the Gay boys are allowed to go drinking on X-mas”) After THEY closed we headed back to the room 509 for some BS and Whiskey shots before we kicked folks out and crashed at 3:45am.
The wake-up part? On Clown-boxing day? Was heinous. We rode out day-long hangovers that even Ibuprofen couldn’t combat. We were useless to the world yesterday.
Thanks again to all the well-wishers and birthday greeters who sent cards and love. There was a lot of love around all day on the 25th. It filled you up and carried you around on it’s back like a papoose, it did. Happy Holidays, and my love and clear vision to you.
The rest of this week is gonna be fly-by frassy. Work. Rehearsal. Rinse, lather, repeat. Hooooo boy. We open in a week and a ½ . Momma…ah’m ssssskeeered!
Monday, December 25, 2006
Happy Chri-birthday!
*X-mas at Baby (Now "Grammpa") P's casa, 12/25/2006
Yup. That's her. The magical lite up coniferous beastie. Bulbs, etc, compliments of 'Beans cousin. The gif's under the tree are magically decorated footwear compliments of Dollar Store stockings, puffy glitter paint from "Michaels" , and a hankering to be a lil' creative with gift giving. (The theme was "Their favorite things". You can't see it, but Dorajar's has comedy and tragedy, a book, a plane, a bottle of Jack. 'Bean's has the state of TX, his daughters names, comedy and tragedy etc. )
You ALSO can't see it, but the white fluffy part of Dora's stocking is a little yellow. That's because in spite of being hung by the banister with care, Georgie Kitty up and grabbed her stocking (Which contained a delish green colored marinade) and pulled it down, shattering the contents. Thanks, George. For ruining Christmas.
So yay. I'm up. 32. Feeling fine and frassy. Definitely feeling that I'm in a better place in the world and in my head than I was a year ago. Which is saying a lot.
To all my readers, have a safe and wonderful Christmas/Holidays. (And thank you for all the well wishes) May you all find calm and vision as well.
Best regards,
HappyTodayBaby
XO
Sunday, December 24, 2006
Whew...day 12
It's been a weird 12 months, pampers. Weird and wonderful. Wonderful AND weird. Let's see....
(Disclaimer: I forgot that I had auditioned for, and was cast in "Loot" until late November. Shup. I read and remember at a 4th grade level)
In Decmeber, I rehearsed.
And Frassed.
Outside of that, I took the 1st week off of Dec. CompLETELY devoid of responsibility. I rehearsed some more. Frassed at my folks. Frassed at Redwrights. Frassed at Mo-rajars. And went through a still unresolved bout of buyers remorse at my own hands. I saw as show (Rik Reppe's "Santa Maj". A show that you ALL should see") And cleaned my folks house for X-mas *Where I reminded Mama-San that Christ was 33 when he died. She said "32". I told her I'm done after X-Mas 2007. Meaning crucified. Dad? Thought it was funny. Mom? Nope.
I'll blog some normal (right) stream of consciousness blog in a minnit. Meantime, it's 10 on the eve. I still have gifts to wrap. And some thanks to give.
xoxoxoxoxox
(Disclaimer: I forgot that I had auditioned for, and was cast in "Loot" until late November. Shup. I read and remember at a 4th grade level)
In Decmeber, I rehearsed.
And Frassed.
Outside of that, I took the 1st week off of Dec. CompLETELY devoid of responsibility. I rehearsed some more. Frassed at my folks. Frassed at Redwrights. Frassed at Mo-rajars. And went through a still unresolved bout of buyers remorse at my own hands. I saw as show (Rik Reppe's "Santa Maj". A show that you ALL should see") And cleaned my folks house for X-mas *Where I reminded Mama-San that Christ was 33 when he died. She said "32". I told her I'm done after X-Mas 2007. Meaning crucified. Dad? Thought it was funny. Mom? Nope.
I'll blog some normal (right) stream of consciousness blog in a minnit. Meantime, it's 10 on the eve. I still have gifts to wrap. And some thanks to give.
xoxoxoxoxox
Friday, December 22, 2006
Day Elf
November
On thongs, songs, and throngs…
It's getting colder now…’Bean went rake-crazy and filled up a gazillion bags of leaf-age. My garage was “tagged” with ‘ffiti. Plays were seen (“The Full Monty”/”Bug”) Funny-assed movies (“Borat”/”For Your Consideration”) Birthdays (NicJoy, MD) Clothes were doffed, hammocks were exposed, and buns were jiggled to an audience chock-a-block full of PWB Sassy Seniors. I exercised my right as an American citizen and rocked the neighborhood vote for the 1st time since moving into my house. (And lo, our voices were heard) I hosted my first Turkey Day at mi casa and later hit the Per-casa for a 2nd feast. I knocked Dorajar on her ass at The Pample Room…and we foolishly shopped at the MOA on Black Friday.
On thongs, songs, and throngs…
It's getting colder now…’Bean went rake-crazy and filled up a gazillion bags of leaf-age. My garage was “tagged” with ‘ffiti. Plays were seen (“The Full Monty”/”Bug”) Funny-assed movies (“Borat”/”For Your Consideration”) Birthdays (NicJoy, MD) Clothes were doffed, hammocks were exposed, and buns were jiggled to an audience chock-a-block full of PWB Sassy Seniors. I exercised my right as an American citizen and rocked the neighborhood vote for the 1st time since moving into my house. (And lo, our voices were heard) I hosted my first Turkey Day at mi casa and later hit the Per-casa for a 2nd feast. I knocked Dorajar on her ass at The Pample Room…and we foolishly shopped at the MOA on Black Friday.
Day da Ten!
October-witz: Hella-we'en!
It was a busy and frassy month for commercial auditions where I actually landed ONE! (Dejope casino. WI readers, please let me know if you see a chattering and freezing baby P in the back seat of a big green auto) WE got out to see some teatro' (Sylvia at the Pantages/Requiem for a Heavyweight at the 'Blood) we dined at some fun N' schmancy restaurants(The new Chambers, D’amico for the Jazz, and Zelo) With so few nice (read: warm) weekends, we took advantage of a few fun and frassless activities (The Apple Orchard, which sucked and made us all turn tail and run for the quiet comfort of my patio. The Ren Fest where we imbibed veeno and ate our weight in...stuff.) I FINALLY get a call for a gig (US “Monty”) which put me on fitness and diet mania. I finished up a few more projects on a very large list. Engaged in my 4th year of the G and G tours. Mama-sans b'day was celebrated and Dorajar coaxed the fam into eating super hot Indian food at the restaurant formerly known as Udupi. The weather got much colder, and I acquiesced to the requests of 'Bean and Dorajar and decided to dress up like a puffy ugly frassy Sweet Pea.
It was a busy and frassy month for commercial auditions where I actually landed ONE! (Dejope casino. WI readers, please let me know if you see a chattering and freezing baby P in the back seat of a big green auto) WE got out to see some teatro' (Sylvia at the Pantages/Requiem for a Heavyweight at the 'Blood) we dined at some fun N' schmancy restaurants(The new Chambers, D’amico for the Jazz, and Zelo) With so few nice (read: warm) weekends, we took advantage of a few fun and frassless activities (The Apple Orchard, which sucked and made us all turn tail and run for the quiet comfort of my patio. The Ren Fest where we imbibed veeno and ate our weight in...stuff.) I FINALLY get a call for a gig (US “Monty”) which put me on fitness and diet mania. I finished up a few more projects on a very large list. Engaged in my 4th year of the G and G tours. Mama-sans b'day was celebrated and Dorajar coaxed the fam into eating super hot Indian food at the restaurant formerly known as Udupi. The weather got much colder, and I acquiesced to the requests of 'Bean and Dorajar and decided to dress up like a puffy ugly frassy Sweet Pea.
Day 9: WHAT?
September, I kinda sorta remember...
After failing at seeing “Cat on A Hot Tin Roof” the first time we were fortunate enough to make it to the re-mount. I hadda party for some of Dorajar’s Kansas buddies and other frassy friends. State Fair was a grand state fair with Muck-Muck, Ry-gonn, and his wifey. More plays were auditioned for and passed on (Boo) Plays were seen (Kid Simple) I became addicted to the slow death which is wiki. Series 6 has (and still does) entered my life. I helped Dorajar “walk toward the light” and we moved her from her Uptown hobbit hole to a NE Mipples upper. (W/da loverly Magrooders) I got a NEW cell phone for buddies! Awards shows were attended (The Ivey-Ivey’s, where we sneakily snuck in flasks to help us get through the frassk!) Birthdays were aplenty (Edwin, and CeeB’s) Cabin parties were attended up Nort’ dere, annnnnd I finally got a lil’ closure in my life. wOOt
After failing at seeing “Cat on A Hot Tin Roof” the first time we were fortunate enough to make it to the re-mount. I hadda party for some of Dorajar’s Kansas buddies and other frassy friends. State Fair was a grand state fair with Muck-Muck, Ry-gonn, and his wifey. More plays were auditioned for and passed on (Boo) Plays were seen (Kid Simple) I became addicted to the slow death which is wiki. Series 6 has (and still does) entered my life. I helped Dorajar “walk toward the light” and we moved her from her Uptown hobbit hole to a NE Mipples upper. (W/da loverly Magrooders) I got a NEW cell phone for buddies! Awards shows were attended (The Ivey-Ivey’s, where we sneakily snuck in flasks to help us get through the frassk!) Birthdays were aplenty (Edwin, and CeeB’s) Cabin parties were attended up Nort’ dere, annnnnd I finally got a lil’ closure in my life. wOOt
Wednesday, December 20, 2006
Day 8: GLOOP!
August...frass, she must!
The month started with the first ever National Night Out NE Polka Party where 'Bean and I were captain and co-captain. August also brought with her shades of anxiety for our frasser. I was told that I was testing for my 6 which brought worry. Fringe rehearsals were keeping me busy and we were about to open. And I? I had a shit ton of projects to complete. So for a coupla weekends, I hauled a s#it ton of heavy ass cement home and did some concrete work. (As well as cypress mulching and tree planting) Fringey Buck-Buck came and I saw far fewer shows than Dorajar. I tried a gimmick in mine where I stripped down to a g-string, not realizing how oddly prescient that was. I auditioned for gigs (A sweet deal in Rochester) only to get passed on again. (And starting to feel a little uncastable) A deal was extended over coffee. In an unheard of act of diplomacy, I reconnected with a friend I hadn't seen in 3 years. (My first attempt was foiled by rain) And the biggest to-do was birthdays! Magrooders had a big kid birthday party where we nibbled and noshed and made use of the big blue pool. (August was a hot N frassy month, you know) and someone else had a birthday, hmmmm...OH, right! MO-rajar hit her quarter century mark and we partied it up all through Nordeast Mipples. (Her gift from moi would go un-opened for the next 3 months)
The month started with the first ever National Night Out NE Polka Party where 'Bean and I were captain and co-captain. August also brought with her shades of anxiety for our frasser. I was told that I was testing for my 6 which brought worry. Fringe rehearsals were keeping me busy and we were about to open. And I? I had a shit ton of projects to complete. So for a coupla weekends, I hauled a s#it ton of heavy ass cement home and did some concrete work. (As well as cypress mulching and tree planting) Fringey Buck-Buck came and I saw far fewer shows than Dorajar. I tried a gimmick in mine where I stripped down to a g-string, not realizing how oddly prescient that was. I auditioned for gigs (A sweet deal in Rochester) only to get passed on again. (And starting to feel a little uncastable) A deal was extended over coffee. In an unheard of act of diplomacy, I reconnected with a friend I hadn't seen in 3 years. (My first attempt was foiled by rain) And the biggest to-do was birthdays! Magrooders had a big kid birthday party where we nibbled and noshed and made use of the big blue pool. (August was a hot N frassy month, you know) and someone else had a birthday, hmmmm...OH, right! MO-rajar hit her quarter century mark and we partied it up all through Nordeast Mipples. (Her gift from moi would go un-opened for the next 3 months)
TREED!
Taken this a.m. If it looks a little "Leany", it's coz I was sleepy and took it at an angle. Shup.
So I was a lil' late this year w/my tree buying. (I blame rehearsal and a massive workload) BUT, after a quick stop in the local lot (SUPPORT THE LOCALS) and a little dickering over the price ala' "A Christmas Story" I've finally been tree'd!
So, last night while Dorajar was having a lie-down and hopped up on goofballs-(courtesy of a bad back) I trimmed and frassed the tree.
Notice the lack of bulb-age/lights. Still need to get the extension cord upstairs. And I literally, right now, have only 4 ornaments on the tree.
Tuesday, December 19, 2006
Rehearsal Tidbits...
I know I've only briefly frassed about rehearsal here and there. Nothing really noteworthy to speak of, save that it's blocked and I'm still working on getting my butt off-book. (I know. We're two weeks away from opening. I just wish that I was off-bookier)
Wellllll,
Last night I show up and we have a fight choreographer their. No big whoop. There's a smidgen of fight-ography in the show that we'd already paced out and dudeski is there to clean it up and offer advice. Okay. I'll admit, I get a lil' frassy about that. 2 seperate college courses on stage combat, private combat classes classes, fencing, kendo, 3 shows within the last 12 months that either involved hand to hand or rapier/dagger fighting, and lastly "gasp" close to a decade in the martial arts get you in the mindset that you don't always need any help. Yeah. That, and condescension are two things that put a burr in my saddle.
I 'd like to, however, pat myself on the back and let you all know that I shut the hell up the entire time we were working and let him do his shit. No advice, second guessing, or "how about this"...I didn't even say a "Yeah...I know that" with attitude. (Which is more than I can say for the dude I was getting beat up by) Get'er done, I say. Felt good, actually. Ooooooo, baby P is matuuuuring. Whatev. Frass.
So blah blah blah. We're marking it. I'm getting punched, kicked, hairpulled back, drag drag and then punched some more before a waylay in the belly. Before dude came to 'hearsal, we had it worked out that I would take a knee to the nut shot. It was brill, coz it was completely masked by the hitter, looked like a knee to the nuts, and I could sell it. In the interest of theatre, it gets changed to a big old punch to the gonads. No worries. I'm back far enough, my legs are apart...easy peasy. Plus? Dude can hit down as hard as he wants. He's only hitting the cushion! (Okay, so these are stage combat "secrets". Don't tell)
'Cept, um, right after it's "marked"...buddy punches down right into my crotch. Punch-ola. And instant stomach ache. He bounds back towards the rehearsal room door hopping from foot to foot saying "I'm sorry" over and over again. TLC and the Stunt Coordinater both wince and see if I'm cool. (No. But I lied anyway to keep things moving. ) We decide to mark it for the next week or so, and do a fight call nightly before the show to the tune of 3 practice runs a night. Slow/Medium/then full speed.
Long nut-shot story, I know. BUT, later on that evening we're doing a scene where I hold up my hand and Fay tosses me a key ring- except she undershot (hard) and where did it smack?
Da Berries. I have cursed nuts.
(Sighs) this shit always happens to me at rehearsals. No lie. I'm having phantom pain today with the memory. Tummy. Ache.
Funny Post Script: (For you, MD. Thanks again, cutie)
So MD did exactly what she said she did and left "garage" on my cell phone. So 1st thing we all do is last night is huddle around my cell phone (on speaker) and listen to it a couple of times. The following soundbite happened next: "Oh. It does sound like 'carriage'. That's the exact same way my British roommate pronounces it."
Right. Insert eyeroll. Gotta love a knowitall. Why in the frass were you pronouncing it "GAY-rage" then?
Thanks Mick. xo
Wellllll,
Last night I show up and we have a fight choreographer their. No big whoop. There's a smidgen of fight-ography in the show that we'd already paced out and dudeski is there to clean it up and offer advice. Okay. I'll admit, I get a lil' frassy about that. 2 seperate college courses on stage combat, private combat classes classes, fencing, kendo, 3 shows within the last 12 months that either involved hand to hand or rapier/dagger fighting, and lastly "gasp" close to a decade in the martial arts get you in the mindset that you don't always need any help. Yeah. That, and condescension are two things that put a burr in my saddle.
I 'd like to, however, pat myself on the back and let you all know that I shut the hell up the entire time we were working and let him do his shit. No advice, second guessing, or "how about this"...I didn't even say a "Yeah...I know that" with attitude. (Which is more than I can say for the dude I was getting beat up by) Get'er done, I say. Felt good, actually. Ooooooo, baby P is matuuuuring. Whatev. Frass.
So blah blah blah. We're marking it. I'm getting punched, kicked, hairpulled back, drag drag and then punched some more before a waylay in the belly. Before dude came to 'hearsal, we had it worked out that I would take a knee to the nut shot. It was brill, coz it was completely masked by the hitter, looked like a knee to the nuts, and I could sell it. In the interest of theatre, it gets changed to a big old punch to the gonads. No worries. I'm back far enough, my legs are apart...easy peasy. Plus? Dude can hit down as hard as he wants. He's only hitting the cushion! (Okay, so these are stage combat "secrets". Don't tell)
'Cept, um, right after it's "marked"...buddy punches down right into my crotch. Punch-ola. And instant stomach ache. He bounds back towards the rehearsal room door hopping from foot to foot saying "I'm sorry" over and over again. TLC and the Stunt Coordinater both wince and see if I'm cool. (No. But I lied anyway to keep things moving. ) We decide to mark it for the next week or so, and do a fight call nightly before the show to the tune of 3 practice runs a night. Slow/Medium/then full speed.
Long nut-shot story, I know. BUT, later on that evening we're doing a scene where I hold up my hand and Fay tosses me a key ring- except she undershot (hard) and where did it smack?
Da Berries. I have cursed nuts.
(Sighs) this shit always happens to me at rehearsals. No lie. I'm having phantom pain today with the memory. Tummy. Ache.
Funny Post Script: (For you, MD. Thanks again, cutie)
So MD did exactly what she said she did and left "garage" on my cell phone. So 1st thing we all do is last night is huddle around my cell phone (on speaker) and listen to it a couple of times. The following soundbite happened next: "Oh. It does sound like 'carriage'. That's the exact same way my British roommate pronounces it."
Right. Insert eyeroll. Gotta love a knowitall. Why in the frass were you pronouncing it "GAY-rage" then?
Thanks Mick. xo
Wha? Se7en?
It's-ah JU-ly...have some pie!
What? Road Trip for BUDDIES? That's right:
Dorajar and I road-tripped out to Mt. Rushmore for some camping. We got back in time for the 4th where we partied it up in the big blue pool with friends, came home, passed out, and were throroughly un-American b/c we missed the fireworks. There were some b'days (RSvP celebrated the 13th anniversary of his 21st birthday. And a very missed long distance b'day for Rusty) Strange calls from ex-gf's took up one evening whilst Mo-mo looked on, and we went on a marathon mission to watch all 4 Harry Potter movies before I started to read her book 5. (Still haven't made it past chapter one) Plays were performed (We packed in the Edina mommies at the BNW, and my character...who's supposed to be drunk the whole time...well. Cocktails at the 'Mill before the performance ='s Baby P becoming a character actor. FYI: This is normally a big no-no for moi, so I hope it paints an accurate picture of the experience. IJS)
Plays were seen (The fecking BRILLIANT "I am my own Wife", and my buddy Ry-Gonn and his wife being hilarious in "We Gotta P0Rn0!") Fringe was rehearsed at the Illusion. 'Bean gave Dorajar and I tix to the opening night @ the new "G" where we hovered over the sushi and kept a low profile. AND my neighborhood experienced a huge power outage that almost (almost) rivaled the storm outage incident of 2005. American Eitel and Hotmama welcomed their 2nd addition to their family, and on that note?
Whilst swilling thingytails with some local actor yablo's at Erte', I received some FAS-cinating news. Apparently, I'm going to be in charge of teaching a future niece/nephew the finer points of how to belch the alphabet. That's right, yo. I am the Man from U.N.C.L.E.
; )
What? Road Trip for BUDDIES? That's right:
Dorajar and I road-tripped out to Mt. Rushmore for some camping. We got back in time for the 4th where we partied it up in the big blue pool with friends, came home, passed out, and were throroughly un-American b/c we missed the fireworks. There were some b'days (RSvP celebrated the 13th anniversary of his 21st birthday. And a very missed long distance b'day for Rusty) Strange calls from ex-gf's took up one evening whilst Mo-mo looked on, and we went on a marathon mission to watch all 4 Harry Potter movies before I started to read her book 5. (Still haven't made it past chapter one) Plays were performed (We packed in the Edina mommies at the BNW, and my character...who's supposed to be drunk the whole time...well. Cocktails at the 'Mill before the performance ='s Baby P becoming a character actor. FYI: This is normally a big no-no for moi, so I hope it paints an accurate picture of the experience. IJS)
Plays were seen (The fecking BRILLIANT "I am my own Wife", and my buddy Ry-Gonn and his wife being hilarious in "We Gotta P0Rn0!") Fringe was rehearsed at the Illusion. 'Bean gave Dorajar and I tix to the opening night @ the new "G" where we hovered over the sushi and kept a low profile. AND my neighborhood experienced a huge power outage that almost (almost) rivaled the storm outage incident of 2005. American Eitel and Hotmama welcomed their 2nd addition to their family, and on that note?
Whilst swilling thingytails with some local actor yablo's at Erte', I received some FAS-cinating news. Apparently, I'm going to be in charge of teaching a future niece/nephew the finer points of how to belch the alphabet. That's right, yo. I am the Man from U.N.C.L.E.
; )
Monday, December 18, 2006
Help with the pronunciation
MD? Muffin? Can you call my cell phone and leave a message for me please? Just one word, actually. Very simple assignment. In your best Brit (pref. Leiceister dialect, but whatever. Standard British is fine) would you please say the word:
"Garage"
Yeah. We had about 5-6 minutes worth of frass regarding the pronunciation, since 3 characters say the word in their dialogue all on the same page. One word, three pronunciations. ("GAY-rage"/"garrage"/and of course...my impeccable English pronunciation: "Garage")
Anyway, if it's not too much trouble for one word that'd be greaaaat. Otherwise, I need to check with my Mo-nager to see if I can apply for part time boyfriendship- Don't want it to seem like I'm moonlighting, you know?
At the very least, I'll just kick your ass.
(And I'll win! Ha HA! She can barely move! Great success!)
"Garage"
Yeah. We had about 5-6 minutes worth of frass regarding the pronunciation, since 3 characters say the word in their dialogue all on the same page. One word, three pronunciations. ("GAY-rage"/"garrage"/and of course...my impeccable English pronunciation: "Garage")
Anyway, if it's not too much trouble for one word that'd be greaaaat. Otherwise, I need to check with my Mo-nager to see if I can apply for part time boyfriendship- Don't want it to seem like I'm moonlighting, you know?
At the very least, I'll just kick your ass.
(And I'll win! Ha HA! She can barely move! Great success!)
It's Six-y...yes?
JUUUUUUNE is busting out all ovvver! I'm gonna say that the mid-way point in the year is always full of fun and frass. June '06 was NO exception! There was:
Rehearsal frass (all month. I learned that I should never accept a gig until I can read the script in its entirety. And that apparently I'm supposed to give Dorajar a 5 ft berth while rehearsing.)
There were toga parties (Kaiser) B'days (Daddy-oh's frassy birthday in the 'burbs. AND a frassy father's day out at Roman's in Pee to the Iz-El where we perused cabin designs) FeeJ's delightful big blue pool b'day! June brought the beginning of Farmer's Market visits where we stocked up on roughage for days and took in some delightful smells- This was all important as my grill use was at it’s zenith. Plays were seen that were both gory and side-splittingly comical ( "Flaming Purple Headed Warriors") We had a awesome time at the GMIKFTH jacuzzi/barbecue (My, how are bodies needed it). Dorajar introduced me to the joys of Trader Joe's cheap winery, and haven't returned since then. (That place gets crowded, yo)
I gave blood for the 1st time in 13 years ( And it didn't require MD or RSvP hitting me to do so)
Bean, his daughter, Dorajar and I went to a swanky solstice society party on the top floor of the Rand Tower. The gay burrito and I went to watch my first Pride in 3 years. More rehearsal, and then my Spider Sense started to tingle.
The remainder of Juni was the planning of Dorajar and my epic road trip to sunny and scenic SoDak.
Rehearsal frass (all month. I learned that I should never accept a gig until I can read the script in its entirety. And that apparently I'm supposed to give Dorajar a 5 ft berth while rehearsing.)
There were toga parties (Kaiser) B'days (Daddy-oh's frassy birthday in the 'burbs. AND a frassy father's day out at Roman's in Pee to the Iz-El where we perused cabin designs) FeeJ's delightful big blue pool b'day! June brought the beginning of Farmer's Market visits where we stocked up on roughage for days and took in some delightful smells- This was all important as my grill use was at it’s zenith. Plays were seen that were both gory and side-splittingly comical ( "Flaming Purple Headed Warriors") We had a awesome time at the GMIKFTH jacuzzi/barbecue (My, how are bodies needed it). Dorajar introduced me to the joys of Trader Joe's cheap winery, and haven't returned since then. (That place gets crowded, yo)
I gave blood for the 1st time in 13 years ( And it didn't require MD or RSvP hitting me to do so)
Bean, his daughter, Dorajar and I went to a swanky solstice society party on the top floor of the Rand Tower. The gay burrito and I went to watch my first Pride in 3 years. More rehearsal, and then my Spider Sense started to tingle.
The remainder of Juni was the planning of Dorajar and my epic road trip to sunny and scenic SoDak.
Day, Da Fif...
Maaaaaaaaaay, she will....staaaaaaayyyyy
What does May mean? Meant? Ge-Mearning?
May brought many things- The return of mowing my epic lawn. Work frass (In the form of getting reprimanded for productivity). Watching the local theatre IM Softball team get their poor collective butts kicked. Loving up the rehearsal frass for GMIKFTH and the corresponding nicks, cuts, and bruises that come with it. (Although, rehearsing outdoors on the first 90 degree day of the year was equal to DEATH!) Duluth road trips for buddies with Mo-Peppa! The triumphant return of the big blue pool (Although, running sans filter made the water look pissy) A sore neck that made head mobility all but impossible. Grilling, Parties at FeeJ's in her groomed back yard. The Jellybean turned 50. Plays were seen ("Twilight of the Golds"/"The Scrimshaw Show") Strip clubs were patronized.
And my best buddy got hisself all up and married! (I was the best mandible, tankyouveddymuch.)
What does May mean? Meant? Ge-Mearning?
May brought many things- The return of mowing my epic lawn. Work frass (In the form of getting reprimanded for productivity). Watching the local theatre IM Softball team get their poor collective butts kicked. Loving up the rehearsal frass for GMIKFTH and the corresponding nicks, cuts, and bruises that come with it. (Although, rehearsing outdoors on the first 90 degree day of the year was equal to DEATH!) Duluth road trips for buddies with Mo-Peppa! The triumphant return of the big blue pool (Although, running sans filter made the water look pissy) A sore neck that made head mobility all but impossible. Grilling, Parties at FeeJ's in her groomed back yard. The Jellybean turned 50. Plays were seen ("Twilight of the Golds"/"The Scrimshaw Show") Strip clubs were patronized.
And my best buddy got hisself all up and married! (I was the best mandible, tankyouveddymuch.)
Accomplishment room!
What I got done:
Frids and Sats: Rehearsal. The show is completely blocked, and now we're fine-tuning. With the blocking pieces starting to get down, it's now a question of memorizing the bacchanalian amount of dialogue. (Easier when the show is in "my body")
Made several phone calls to some old friends to catch up
Talked to mama-san for waaaaay too long
Cleaned house
Got groceries to last until after the holidays
Got 80% of my shopping done (Sunday was a whiiiiirlwind day of X-mas shopping. Har Mar is my bitch. Oh yes)
Made it through 5/8ths of the episodes of "Six Feet Under" season two . We're addicts.
Had pictures taken for my X-mas cards
Found a black velvet blazer for cheeeeeap cheap cheap. (Under $17. See Har Mar reference)
Decorated X-mas stockings for the roommate and Georgie-kitty.
Saw "Mousetrap" at TRP. (Okay, technically this was a Thursday night event. Still worth mentioning. Great show, y'know?)
Made Ginger Wasabi chicky boobs. (Not bad, but still a bigger fan of the garlic/peanut sauce)
Actually worked my buns out. (Can barely lift my arms today, but so worth it. The big sin was that it was so nice out on Saturday I feel like I shoulda went for a jog)
Still need to get a TREE though. Sheesh. It's gonna be tinsel/light heavy and ornament "lite". I seriously think that I only have 4 ornaments. And two of them are Spider-Man.
Frids and Sats: Rehearsal. The show is completely blocked, and now we're fine-tuning. With the blocking pieces starting to get down, it's now a question of memorizing the bacchanalian amount of dialogue. (Easier when the show is in "my body")
Made several phone calls to some old friends to catch up
Talked to mama-san for waaaaay too long
Cleaned house
Got groceries to last until after the holidays
Got 80% of my shopping done (Sunday was a whiiiiirlwind day of X-mas shopping. Har Mar is my bitch. Oh yes)
Made it through 5/8ths of the episodes of "Six Feet Under" season two . We're addicts.
Had pictures taken for my X-mas cards
Found a black velvet blazer for cheeeeeap cheap cheap. (Under $17. See Har Mar reference)
Decorated X-mas stockings for the roommate and Georgie-kitty.
Saw "Mousetrap" at TRP. (Okay, technically this was a Thursday night event. Still worth mentioning. Great show, y'know?)
Made Ginger Wasabi chicky boobs. (Not bad, but still a bigger fan of the garlic/peanut sauce)
Actually worked my buns out. (Can barely lift my arms today, but so worth it. The big sin was that it was so nice out on Saturday I feel like I shoulda went for a jog)
Still need to get a TREE though. Sheesh. It's gonna be tinsel/light heavy and ornament "lite". I seriously think that I only have 4 ornaments. And two of them are Spider-Man.
Old softy...
This obsession with "Six Feet Under" is really bordering on crazy. Dorajar and I were plowing our way through season two, when at the end of one of the episodes Nathan breaks down and sobbingly tells his brother David what's wrong with him. (He has AVM) Final shot of the show so it does a slow dissolve while the camera pulls back while the dialogue takes place.
And I start crying*.
And since I didn't write it when I thought I'd write it, I wanted to say:
I love you big brother. Thanks again for being there.
*We laughed later that I started getting weepy after watching the brother break-down, and she started crying at the end of an episode that dealt with the youngest siblings destructive relationship with her boyfriend. Yeah, we're nerdburgers.
And I start crying*.
And since I didn't write it when I thought I'd write it, I wanted to say:
I love you big brother. Thanks again for being there.
*We laughed later that I started getting weepy after watching the brother break-down, and she started crying at the end of an episode that dealt with the youngest siblings destructive relationship with her boyfriend. Yeah, we're nerdburgers.
Friday, December 15, 2006
Month the Fourth on Day the Four..tha?
APRIL!
April brought another brunch for buddies, this time Dim Sum with Melinite/Adam. We discovered that Dorajar looooooooooooves Dim Sum with a fiery passion. I love dim sum because I'm half generic Asian. Plays were seen (Woman in Mind and Point of Revue) parties were attended (unnumbered CB gathering, the Ma and Pa Perry pre-Easter gathering) parties at my place were thrown ( Easter, Matty visiting from Hollywood, and the "Thoreau" cast party...where we witnessed the beginning of a beautiful relationship between two friends.) Spring and the cessation of heavy snowfall meant sunnier days and the start of outdoor projects. (And my roommate began to display his ferocious penchant for raking) My time was split between landscaping, and helping ma and pa P ready their BeeP's mansion for sale...(And still it waits) I was finally cast after what seemed like a droughtish dry-spell of auditioning in what would become one of the most un-rewarding theatrical experiences in my life.
Dorajar und Ich started getting closer, and itching to get the hell outta town.
April brought another brunch for buddies, this time Dim Sum with Melinite/Adam. We discovered that Dorajar looooooooooooves Dim Sum with a fiery passion. I love dim sum because I'm half generic Asian. Plays were seen (Woman in Mind and Point of Revue) parties were attended (unnumbered CB gathering, the Ma and Pa Perry pre-Easter gathering) parties at my place were thrown ( Easter, Matty visiting from Hollywood, and the "Thoreau" cast party...where we witnessed the beginning of a beautiful relationship between two friends.) Spring and the cessation of heavy snowfall meant sunnier days and the start of outdoor projects. (And my roommate began to display his ferocious penchant for raking) My time was split between landscaping, and helping ma and pa P ready their BeeP's mansion for sale...(And still it waits) I was finally cast after what seemed like a droughtish dry-spell of auditioning in what would become one of the most un-rewarding theatrical experiences in my life.
Dorajar und Ich started getting closer, and itching to get the hell outta town.
Thursday, December 14, 2006
Day 3
MARCH-
Which came in like a lamb, but exited with frass. We were dumped on, oh yes, to the tune of all of the aggregate snowfall that had fell up until that point all winter did not equal the dumpage we received over a 48 hour time period. Where new and exciting restaurants were discovered (The Bad Waitress, The Sample Room, Azia) Where I had more auditions ("Flaming Guns"/"Merchant of Penice") voice over recording ("Slag Heap"...great show. Greater for Mo.) Tech and Portana arrived for good to set up shop here in MN. Where neck frass and body frass nearly incapacitated me, but due to the kindness of my folks letting me use there hot tub I was able to start the road to wellville (Remember: Hot Tubs suck if you only set them to 95 degrees)
Movies were seen (Asstastic "Ultraviolet" and the uber-cool "V" and "History of Violence") As were plays (Slag Heap and "Myfistofjelly") Birthdays celebrated (Shellito, Nixie, and Melinite) concerts seen (Tina Schlieske at the 310 with Nix and Twocherries) Parties (The Oscars at KWT's and post 12th Nacht at DeeC's) Annnnnnnd...my life ended as I knew it.
That last bit was a little melodramatic.
I finally got my cable hooked up. YEEEEhamaste!
Which came in like a lamb, but exited with frass. We were dumped on, oh yes, to the tune of all of the aggregate snowfall that had fell up until that point all winter did not equal the dumpage we received over a 48 hour time period. Where new and exciting restaurants were discovered (The Bad Waitress, The Sample Room, Azia) Where I had more auditions ("Flaming Guns"/"Merchant of Penice") voice over recording ("Slag Heap"...great show. Greater for Mo.) Tech and Portana arrived for good to set up shop here in MN. Where neck frass and body frass nearly incapacitated me, but due to the kindness of my folks letting me use there hot tub I was able to start the road to wellville (Remember: Hot Tubs suck if you only set them to 95 degrees)
Movies were seen (Asstastic "Ultraviolet" and the uber-cool "V" and "History of Violence") As were plays (Slag Heap and "Myfistofjelly") Birthdays celebrated (Shellito, Nixie, and Melinite) concerts seen (Tina Schlieske at the 310 with Nix and Twocherries) Parties (The Oscars at KWT's and post 12th Nacht at DeeC's) Annnnnnnd...my life ended as I knew it.
That last bit was a little melodramatic.
I finally got my cable hooked up. YEEEEhamaste!
Wednesday, December 13, 2006
Quick side note...I'm laughing so hard
So in my quick frass to come home and leave for photo call, I pass on a DVD/rom to my roomie that is labeled "NNO 2006" which I assumed went to all neighbor(hoods) who participated in the last National Nigh Out last August. It was, if you recall, one of those things where they interviewed the neighborhood frassers to discuss why NNO is important...yadda yadda yadda.
And honestly, I forgot about it.
But the note I get from 'Bean when I get home tonight was that I NEEDED to watch it.
And there we were. In all our splendor. A lot. Condensed to an 11 minute DVD/ROM. Dorajar, Magrooders, 1/2 of the WW clan, 'Bean, and yours truly acting goofy.
I'm dying. If I wasn't such a luddite, I'd upload it. But 'Bean sez it's one of those new fangled DVD's that might not be supported by my software.
Still. Comic, Gold.
And honestly, I forgot about it.
But the note I get from 'Bean when I get home tonight was that I NEEDED to watch it.
And there we were. In all our splendor. A lot. Condensed to an 11 minute DVD/ROM. Dorajar, Magrooders, 1/2 of the WW clan, 'Bean, and yours truly acting goofy.
I'm dying. If I wasn't such a luddite, I'd upload it. But 'Bean sez it's one of those new fangled DVD's that might not be supported by my software.
Still. Comic, Gold.
Day 2
FEBRUARY-
I begin a frassy full attempt at wire-fu, only to slowly grow slightly non-plussed and ending entirely. Too many shows that piqued my theatrical interest had auditions coming up- Tally of shows cast in: 0. The 'bean moves in, and we start to establish a fumbling new roomie relationship. I get my bed back. Thrift Stores, Marshall's, and TJ Maxx become my bitches in order to return my house to the semblence of normalcy. I frantically scramble to finish projects to be able to throw my first housewarming party ever to my family and friends in order to vanquish the evil spirits. I see some shows. It gets bitterly fucking cold. Dorajar and I begin the hallowed tradition of Sunday brunches for buddies starting with Melinite and Adam at the Uptown diner. Georgie begins his hallowed tradition of vomiting on the carpet. I forget my gear at the karate junction. MD calls me "retardhead".
I begin a frassy full attempt at wire-fu, only to slowly grow slightly non-plussed and ending entirely. Too many shows that piqued my theatrical interest had auditions coming up- Tally of shows cast in: 0. The 'bean moves in, and we start to establish a fumbling new roomie relationship. I get my bed back. Thrift Stores, Marshall's, and TJ Maxx become my bitches in order to return my house to the semblence of normalcy. I frantically scramble to finish projects to be able to throw my first housewarming party ever to my family and friends in order to vanquish the evil spirits. I see some shows. It gets bitterly fucking cold. Dorajar and I begin the hallowed tradition of Sunday brunches for buddies starting with Melinite and Adam at the Uptown diner. Georgie begins his hallowed tradition of vomiting on the carpet. I forget my gear at the karate junction. MD calls me "retardhead".
12 days...a day off
In honor of the 12 tags von Weinachten (Pulled that crummy Deutsch outta my butt, didn't I?) and because I completely lack originality, I'm bogarting an idea from my friend Melinite and giving you a quick Month by Month re-cap of the last 12 mos- over the next 12 days. I'm behind. Shup.
JANUARY:
New Years is spent at Pat McCurdy with MD who made a really nice NYE date. Jan. marks the 1st and only month I am a single and solo homeowner. House...nearly empty. Spend majority sleeping on a mattress on the floor. Perform in one of the most kick-assiest shows I've ever been involved with: "Kung Fu Hamlet". Spend time with Tallen, Redwright + her Clan. Start streak of auditions that result in callbacks...but not cast. Boo. Start frassin' with a mutual acquaitence I met at the Theatre Holiday Party. Agree to go on a road trip at the end of the month to get out of town. I smell trouble. Realize it's gas.
JANUARY:
New Years is spent at Pat McCurdy with MD who made a really nice NYE date. Jan. marks the 1st and only month I am a single and solo homeowner. House...nearly empty. Spend majority sleeping on a mattress on the floor. Perform in one of the most kick-assiest shows I've ever been involved with: "Kung Fu Hamlet". Spend time with Tallen, Redwright + her Clan. Start streak of auditions that result in callbacks...but not cast. Boo. Start frassin' with a mutual acquaitence I met at the Theatre Holiday Party. Agree to go on a road trip at the end of the month to get out of town. I smell trouble. Realize it's gas.
Me Me Me and the Birthday Gimme Gimme's
Again we find the annual tradition in the "P" household around the holidays is the impossible task of prying from my parents lips an apparently dreadful and awful secret:
"What do YOU want for X-mas"? LOL. Kills me. Mom is getting a Chippendales Calendar. Dad is getting a Sudoku book. Done.
X-mases past it was an easy solution for RSvP and I: We made lists. Grand lists. Glorious lists. Big P would usually ask for some form of firearm or cutting utensil ("Dear Santa: I want a Gerber Parabellum folding serrated knife- That or a blow gun.") Mine were typically tyke- even up to my late 20's ("A big tv, a gaming system, "The Uncanny X-Men Dark Phoenix Saga Graphic Novel" The last one I got, thank you.) And annually, just to be cheeky, we'd ask for socks and undies.
(One of the greatest years of record was getting my big brother an overcoat to end all overcoats and the following year he gets me this 18th repro Scottish Basket Hilt Claymore. No lie. We're cool like that. )
I went back into hallowed antiquity (Christmas Circa 2004 of this blog) to see where I was at. Weird, having a live doc like this as a watermark for x-mas's past. What I noticed is that we stopped doing "lists" around 2004. Ki-bosh. Everything circled around Home Depot gift cards and "practical" items. This year, I think I'd like it to be similar. Goofy, but similar.
So in the interest of debt reduction and frugality, I thought I'd put together a very simple x-mas/birthday list.
Very simple:
I have two watches that I never wear. Nice ones, too. A Sylvester and Tweety watch that was a b'day gift circa 1995, and this killer Fossil watch I received as a b'day gift in 2000. (Old s.o's were always trying to get me to wear jewelry other than my ichi-yen necklace.) What's wrong...well...see: The band is broken on the WB watch, and both of them are dead. When they respectively broke/died I tossed them in my nightstand. Never to remove them. Well, until my nightstand mysteriously vanished in a puff of smoke and found my nightstand fillings emptied onto the floor. There it was. Me watch.
So I guess I just want my watches fixed.
Easy enough, right?
Otherwise, I still wouldn't be adverse to someone to volunteering to over and finish a couple of the lingering projects that I've psyched myself out of doing. (Staining and replacing the wooden door frames. Installing the ceiling fans. Role out a carpet pad. Helping install the pergo on my front porch. tacking down my kick board runners. Etc. Just a few hours on a couple Sundays, is all I'd need.)
Debt free would be great, but barring that I'm liking the idea of having people to go out with this year on the evening of the 25th. To be around my family and good friends. The prospect of this years Frass-mas being a 180 degree switch from last X-mas has got me so excited I can hardly stand it.
I think having the beverage of choice option too. Bring me a bottle of your favorite liquor and I'll keep it at my place for the next time you come over to visit/party. (Sapphire for RSvP, Jack for Dorajar or Melinite, a box of Franzia Chard-on-yay for Redwright, chocolate martini accoutrements for FeeJ, Diet Pepsi for MD. And I'm still holding onto a bottle of Sham-Pag-nah.)
I prrrrromise I won't drink it.
Otherwise I need...dumb stuff. New outdoor running shoes with extra support so my knee's don't get all frassed up. T-shirts. Long sleeve white t-shirts. Undiepants. A nice plain white dress shirt w/o buttons on the collar. (My former and only "good shirt" fell prey to the mocha accident of early 2006. And the stain? It couldn't get out...we cannot...get...out..") 3M Window treatment. A copy of the book "Freakanomics" or the graphic novels "Marvels", "300", "V for Vendetta", or "The Dark Knight Returns". A gift card to Unique Thrift's. A new sweater. Or even a fetching sweater vest. A new rib protector for 'Fu since my old one (nee: RSvP's ollllld one) is falling apart. A "Bo" which I lost when the Bloomie dojo closed down. My Mocked Up Spidey suit I've been meaning to build for 3.5 years- finished...Curtains to cover the windows...
And the "anti-froog"? (b/c I don't know when it'll happen, but it could.) I want that 32-42 inch TV to watch movies...for I do love me some movies. A TV stand that matches the dark cherry bookshelves in my TV room to set said TV on. A VHS to DVD burner to xfr old home movies/plays. A black velvet tux blazer that I would justify wearing daily until it fell apart. A sword from the movie Highlander that would be GREAT in my TV room w/my existing collection of cutlery, and "L" shaped wrap around couch that'd fit more people in my TV room, or or or plane tix to Cali...or Vegas so Mo can play roulette while I watch wistfully in the background and we can hike in Red Rock. Or a Doctor Who scarf b/c scarf's are COOL or heck, ANY geek item here: http://www.aintitcool.com/node/30796?semperex-search
Or here!: http://www.aintitcool.com/node/30798?semperex-search
(Except I wouldn't mind this: http://www.amazon.com/Complete-Pythons-Flying-Circus-Megaset/dp/B0009XRZ92/sr=8-1/qid=1166043025/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1/105-8421196-0138845?ie=UTF8&s=dvd) Sorry...long link. Gift cards to Azia, or a bottle of Amontillado (again) for the TV room ...get it? A "Poe" theme? I'm po', and I have..."Poe"? No?
pant pant pant pant pant...
Oh, did you want something baby P? How does it feel to WANT!!!
It's just fun. You gotta have a sense o' humor 'round the holidays lest you go crazy. Which clearly I am.
Socks, people. You can't go wrong with socks.
12 days follow up coming soon...copying the f#ck outta Melinite (Sorry love)
Happy Holidays, all! Giving is always a great thing. Find a second to donate whatever you can (Time, clothes, gifts, toys) to charity. Most of them that collect goods have a cut off after the 15th.
XOXOXOX
"What do YOU want for X-mas"? LOL. Kills me. Mom is getting a Chippendales Calendar. Dad is getting a Sudoku book. Done.
X-mases past it was an easy solution for RSvP and I: We made lists. Grand lists. Glorious lists. Big P would usually ask for some form of firearm or cutting utensil ("Dear Santa: I want a Gerber Parabellum folding serrated knife- That or a blow gun.") Mine were typically tyke- even up to my late 20's ("A big tv, a gaming system, "The Uncanny X-Men Dark Phoenix Saga Graphic Novel" The last one I got, thank you.) And annually, just to be cheeky, we'd ask for socks and undies.
(One of the greatest years of record was getting my big brother an overcoat to end all overcoats and the following year he gets me this 18th repro Scottish Basket Hilt Claymore. No lie. We're cool like that. )
I went back into hallowed antiquity (Christmas Circa 2004 of this blog) to see where I was at. Weird, having a live doc like this as a watermark for x-mas's past. What I noticed is that we stopped doing "lists" around 2004. Ki-bosh. Everything circled around Home Depot gift cards and "practical" items. This year, I think I'd like it to be similar. Goofy, but similar.
So in the interest of debt reduction and frugality, I thought I'd put together a very simple x-mas/birthday list.
Very simple:
I have two watches that I never wear. Nice ones, too. A Sylvester and Tweety watch that was a b'day gift circa 1995, and this killer Fossil watch I received as a b'day gift in 2000. (Old s.o's were always trying to get me to wear jewelry other than my ichi-yen necklace.) What's wrong...well...see: The band is broken on the WB watch, and both of them are dead. When they respectively broke/died I tossed them in my nightstand. Never to remove them. Well, until my nightstand mysteriously vanished in a puff of smoke and found my nightstand fillings emptied onto the floor. There it was. Me watch.
So I guess I just want my watches fixed.
Easy enough, right?
Otherwise, I still wouldn't be adverse to someone to volunteering to over and finish a couple of the lingering projects that I've psyched myself out of doing. (Staining and replacing the wooden door frames. Installing the ceiling fans. Role out a carpet pad. Helping install the pergo on my front porch. tacking down my kick board runners. Etc. Just a few hours on a couple Sundays, is all I'd need.)
Debt free would be great, but barring that I'm liking the idea of having people to go out with this year on the evening of the 25th. To be around my family and good friends. The prospect of this years Frass-mas being a 180 degree switch from last X-mas has got me so excited I can hardly stand it.
I think having the beverage of choice option too. Bring me a bottle of your favorite liquor and I'll keep it at my place for the next time you come over to visit/party. (Sapphire for RSvP, Jack for Dorajar or Melinite, a box of Franzia Chard-on-yay for Redwright, chocolate martini accoutrements for FeeJ, Diet Pepsi for MD. And I'm still holding onto a bottle of Sham-Pag-nah.)
I prrrrromise I won't drink it.
Otherwise I need...dumb stuff. New outdoor running shoes with extra support so my knee's don't get all frassed up. T-shirts. Long sleeve white t-shirts. Undiepants. A nice plain white dress shirt w/o buttons on the collar. (My former and only "good shirt" fell prey to the mocha accident of early 2006. And the stain? It couldn't get out...we cannot...get...out..") 3M Window treatment. A copy of the book "Freakanomics" or the graphic novels "Marvels", "300", "V for Vendetta", or "The Dark Knight Returns". A gift card to Unique Thrift's. A new sweater. Or even a fetching sweater vest. A new rib protector for 'Fu since my old one (nee: RSvP's ollllld one) is falling apart. A "Bo" which I lost when the Bloomie dojo closed down. My Mocked Up Spidey suit I've been meaning to build for 3.5 years- finished...Curtains to cover the windows...
And the "anti-froog"? (b/c I don't know when it'll happen, but it could.) I want that 32-42 inch TV to watch movies...for I do love me some movies. A TV stand that matches the dark cherry bookshelves in my TV room to set said TV on. A VHS to DVD burner to xfr old home movies/plays. A black velvet tux blazer that I would justify wearing daily until it fell apart. A sword from the movie Highlander that would be GREAT in my TV room w/my existing collection of cutlery, and "L" shaped wrap around couch that'd fit more people in my TV room, or or or plane tix to Cali...or Vegas so Mo can play roulette while I watch wistfully in the background and we can hike in Red Rock. Or a Doctor Who scarf b/c scarf's are COOL or heck, ANY geek item here: http://www.aintitcool.com/node/30796?semperex-search
Or here!: http://www.aintitcool.com/node/30798?semperex-search
(Except I wouldn't mind this: http://www.amazon.com/Complete-Pythons-Flying-Circus-Megaset/dp/B0009XRZ92/sr=8-1/qid=1166043025/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1/105-8421196-0138845?ie=UTF8&s=dvd) Sorry...long link. Gift cards to Azia, or a bottle of Amontillado (again) for the TV room ...get it? A "Poe" theme? I'm po', and I have..."Poe"? No?
pant pant pant pant pant...
Oh, did you want something baby P? How does it feel to WANT!!!
It's just fun. You gotta have a sense o' humor 'round the holidays lest you go crazy. Which clearly I am.
Socks, people. You can't go wrong with socks.
12 days follow up coming soon...copying the f#ck outta Melinite (Sorry love)
Happy Holidays, all! Giving is always a great thing. Find a second to donate whatever you can (Time, clothes, gifts, toys) to charity. Most of them that collect goods have a cut off after the 15th.
XOXOXOX
MORE Likes
Chinese Take-Out
Green Curry
Pesto
Chipotle Tabasco
Sex. Really, with anything. Wainscoting, People, an ottoman. I'm a terrible underpant. Seafood
Jogging
Driving with the radio off
Waking up next to Mo
Chunky sweaters
The State Fair
Amusement Parks
The Zoo
All You Can Eat *(Insert ethnicity/cuisine) Buffets
A 007 martini
Good Nude Days
The feminine form
Art museums. Not a huge fan of the post-modern movement, but yeah. I'll sit in Art Museums for hours
A really good prrrrt
Hallowe'en
Climbing things
The Amazing Spider Man
Movie Previews of movies I reeeeeeally wanna see
Giving and Getting back rubs
Listening to my friend play "The Jazz"
Dinner at fancy restaurants
Events
Getting gussied up.
Flattery. Compliments. A lot.
The smell of the Como Park Conservatory
The smell of cooking
Kissing a womans sternocleidomastoid.
people who are comfortable being touchy feely
Live sports events. 'Specially hockey
Opera music
When Mo squeezes my arm
Soup
Laughing
Double entendre's
Playing air hockey
Decorating my house
Horseback riding Camping.
Being outdoors.
Seeing mountains...I want to see the mountains, Gandalf!
Walking around my house bare-ass and thinking "it's my house, and I can walk around bare-ass if I want to!" And then my roommate freaks out for whatever reason. Whatever.
My barbecue grill
Central Air
White wine
Really fancy cheese
Making faces at babies/tots who are staring at you in restaurants. I find making a "Mean face" has the exact opposite affect of its intended purpose.
Being told I hit hard
Seeing veins on my forearms
Only having one hole left on my belt
Shaving after letting my facial hair grow for a while
Haircuts
Getting turned on
Walking the city streets
Really cool Video Game Arcades with lots of choices
The fact that my brother and I have become so close over the past 12 months I'm going to be an uncle
People are asking me what I want to do for my birthday
Ari Hoptman's email regarding his published books
Green Curry
Pesto
Chipotle Tabasco
Sex. Really, with anything. Wainscoting, People, an ottoman. I'm a terrible underpant. Seafood
Jogging
Driving with the radio off
Waking up next to Mo
Chunky sweaters
The State Fair
Amusement Parks
The Zoo
All You Can Eat *(Insert ethnicity/cuisine) Buffets
A 007 martini
Good Nude Days
The feminine form
Art museums. Not a huge fan of the post-modern movement, but yeah. I'll sit in Art Museums for hours
A really good prrrrt
Hallowe'en
Climbing things
The Amazing Spider Man
Movie Previews of movies I reeeeeeally wanna see
Giving and Getting back rubs
Listening to my friend play "The Jazz"
Dinner at fancy restaurants
Events
Getting gussied up.
Flattery. Compliments. A lot.
The smell of the Como Park Conservatory
The smell of cooking
Kissing a womans sternocleidomastoid.
people who are comfortable being touchy feely
Live sports events. 'Specially hockey
Opera music
When Mo squeezes my arm
Soup
Laughing
Double entendre's
Playing air hockey
Decorating my house
Horseback riding Camping.
Being outdoors.
Seeing mountains...I want to see the mountains, Gandalf!
Walking around my house bare-ass and thinking "it's my house, and I can walk around bare-ass if I want to!" And then my roommate freaks out for whatever reason. Whatever.
My barbecue grill
Central Air
White wine
Really fancy cheese
Making faces at babies/tots who are staring at you in restaurants. I find making a "Mean face" has the exact opposite affect of its intended purpose.
Being told I hit hard
Seeing veins on my forearms
Only having one hole left on my belt
Shaving after letting my facial hair grow for a while
Haircuts
Getting turned on
Walking the city streets
Really cool Video Game Arcades with lots of choices
The fact that my brother and I have become so close over the past 12 months I'm going to be an uncle
People are asking me what I want to do for my birthday
Ari Hoptman's email regarding his published books
Baby P Likes...
Mikey Likes:
Sunday Brunches with buddies (Esp. w/Spicy Bloody Marys!)
The arts that are martial Theatre
Baggy comfortable clothes
Accomplishing projects around the house
The feeling of having no responsibility whatsoever
Leisurely reading in coffee shops
Big Hugs
Cabins
Working out
Parties
Making people laugh
Frass (And really, everytime I see someone use the term)
Seafood
Travelling/Road Tripping
Smooches!
Love, Loving, being surrounded by love
Hot tubs
Sushi
Cooking
Taking random weekdays off
Swimming
Movies
Used Bookstores
Antique Stores in small towns
Museums
My roommate
Dorajar
Singing
Going out dancing
Giving compliments
Stretching out
Naps
An empty sink
The internet
Happy Hour
The holidays!
Captain Morgans Private stock
The little old lady who came up to me after The Full Monty and said “Nice buns”
My friends
Mia Famiglia
Georgie Kitty
Getting to know new people
Sunday Brunches with buddies (Esp. w/Spicy Bloody Marys!)
The arts that are martial Theatre
Baggy comfortable clothes
Accomplishing projects around the house
The feeling of having no responsibility whatsoever
Leisurely reading in coffee shops
Big Hugs
Cabins
Working out
Parties
Making people laugh
Frass (And really, everytime I see someone use the term)
Seafood
Travelling/Road Tripping
Smooches!
Love, Loving, being surrounded by love
Hot tubs
Sushi
Cooking
Taking random weekdays off
Swimming
Movies
Used Bookstores
Antique Stores in small towns
Museums
My roommate
Dorajar
Singing
Going out dancing
Giving compliments
Stretching out
Naps
An empty sink
The internet
Happy Hour
The holidays!
Captain Morgans Private stock
The little old lady who came up to me after The Full Monty and said “Nice buns”
My friends
Mia Famiglia
Georgie Kitty
Getting to know new people
Tuesday, December 12, 2006
NEHRU!
Meh. My suit from "Merry Wives" was cooler. Light gray with these brilliant onxy inlay. Seriously, who could live without a nehru suit?
Right. Moi. LOL. Funny funny funny that they still had it.
Right. Moi. Douchebag who wants to frass around looking like "Dr. Evil"
Monday, December 11, 2006
COSTUME!
I'm gonna have some flashy pants, aren't I?
So I was surprised tonight by a costume fitting. Fitting still, that we have our press/publicity/lobby photo shoot on Wednesday. This Wednesday. Shit. We tech in less than two weeks and open in three. Ho. Lee. Fook. I still have boo-too to memorize before then. And they want us off book by Monday? Frass. Anyone good with a Leicester dialect?
As I'm downstairs in the fitting area of TRP, I see the hanging card that sez "Hal" with two costumes in front of it. The one above, and another one that looks...slightly familiar?
"Holy shit-balls"
"Yup"
"Is that the suit from 'Merry Wives'?"
"Yup"
"The custom built nehru suit ala' Austin Powers?"
"Yeah, I figured it was you since the measurements were pretty much the same."
"No shit? 8 years...man. I was, like...( cough) in my early 20's. Is that what I'm wearing?!?!? (I was super excited at this point. Like wearing the same costume in the two TRP productions I'd ever been in was a badge of notoriety or something)
"Nooooo, the one in front of that. We figured that 'Hal' isn't the type to be somber and mourn his mom's passing, so we put you in something more colorful. 'Dennis' will be in black. What do you think about platform shoes?"
"Cool. Hey...can I buy it?"
"Talk to Steve"
"How about these pants? My folks'll think I found the fabric from their basement couch." (Kidding, readers. It's gone now. But pretty much the same color scheme)
Sweet. Like I need that shit. I just like options.
That thing still fit, too. Great success!
Those pants are pretty tight though. Oof. I thought wearing the hammock was bad.
Behold, the new face of terror!
That's him. That's the one. He's the culprit. The one who conveniently barfs on the tan and gold part of the rug so that it seamlessly blends in. (And you discover it barefoot at 4a.m.) The one who thinks that his cat box is merely a "concept", there fore he can leave his refuse riiiiight outside the box on his kitty rug. The man that enjoys playfully licking you when secretly he's tenderizing the spot for the right moment to chomp down. The one who violates my bed in spite of my protestations. (Dorajar thinks I do it to keep the bed "cat hair" free, when the truth is I know he just wants to sit on my chest and suck out my soul through my nostrils.)
He's a turd. Nothing lovable here. Carry on...but be warned.
Listy from Portana
1. WHAT CURSE WORD DO Y0U USE THE MOST? The Effenheimer.
2. DO YOU OWN AN IPOD? Nope. I’m a big old luddite
3. WHAT PERSON ON YOUR TOP 8 DO YOU TALK TO THE MOST? Perry
4. WHAT TIME IS Y0UR ALARM CLOCK SET TO? 5:50am.
5. DO YOU STILL REMEMBER THE FIRST PERSON YOU KISSED? Yeppers. Tracy H. in the 9th grade at the Sadie Hawkins dance. Open mouth and everything.
6. DO YOU WEAR FLIP-FLOPS WHEN IT'S COLD? No. My roommate does. Weird.
7. WOULD Y0U RATHER TAKE THE PICTURE OR BE IN THE PICTURE? Both
8. WHAT WAS THE LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? Season 1 of “Six Feet Under”
9. DO ANY OF YOUR FRIENDS HAVE CHILDREN? Sure
10. HAS ANY0NE EVER CALLED YOU LAZY? Yup.
11. DO YOU EVER TAKE MEDICATION TO HELP YOU FALL ASLEEP? Not since last year.
12. WHAT CD IS CURRENTLY IN YOUR CD PLaYER? Peter Gabriel Secret World Tour Live.
13. DO YOU PREFER REGULAR OR CHOCOLATE MILK? None.
14. HAS ANYONE TOLD YOU A SECRET THIS WEEK? Nope
15. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU HAD STARBUCKS? A few weeks ago?
16. CAN YOU WHISTLE? Just pucker up your lips and bloooow.
17. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT THE OPPOSITE SEX? eyes, then bod
18. DO YOU THINK PEOPLE TALK AB0UT YOU BEHIND YOUR BACK? i'm sure they do.
19. DID YOU WATCH CARTO0NS AS A CHILD? yup
20. WHAT MOVIE DO YOU KNOW EVERY LINE TO? Ghostbusters
(dont know where 21 or 22 went to)
23. DO YOU OWN ANY BAND T-SHIRTS? Nope
24. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SALAD DRESSING? Fat Free Caesar
25. IS ANYONE IN LOVE WITH YOU? Sure! Don’t you know who I think I am?
26. DO YOU DO YOUR OWN DISHES? Yes. I’m fastidious about it.
27. EVER CRY IN PUBLIC? Not since last X-mas
28. ARE YOU ON A DESKTOP COMPUTER OR A LAP TOP? Desktop
29. ARE YOU CURRENTLY WANTING ANY PIERCINGS OR TATTOO? I want a tattoo of the Japanese kanji for “community theatre”.
30. WHATS THE WEATHER LIKE? Nicer, thankfully. I was about to go through some SAD frass.
31. WOULD YOU EVER DATE ANYONE COVERED IN TATTOOS? Sure, and have.
32. WHAT DID YOU DO BEFORE THIS? Shower
33. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU SLEPT ON THE FLOOR? Last Christmas time? 2005
34. HOW MANY HOURS OF SLEEP DO YOU NEED TO FUNCTION? Six usually.
35. DO YOU EAT BREAKFAST DAILY? I do.
36. ARE YOUR DAYS FULL AND FAST PACED? I try not to get to overwhelmed, but they are usually pretty full.
37. DO YOU PAY ATTENTION TO THE CALORIES IN THE PACKAGE? I’d be lyin’ if I said no.
38. DO YOU USE SARCASM? Neeeeeever.
(39 is AWOL too)
40. ARE YOU PICKY ABOUT SPELLING AND GRAMMAR? Mildly.
41. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN TO SIX FLAGS? Yup. In Fort Worth, TX. They had a great t-shirt that I’m kicking myself for not buying it. (A picture of The WB’s “Sylvester” saying “Texath!”)
(42. MIA)
43. DO YOU GET ALONG BETTER WITH THE SAME SEX OR THE OPPOSITE SEX? a vast majority of my friends are guys--i am a dude.
44. DO Y0U LIKE MUSTARD? Yup.
45. DO YOU SLEEP ON YOUR SIDE, STOMACH or BACK? Side or tummy.
46. DO YOU WATCH THE NEWS? Only if the ‘Bean is watching it in the kitchen.
47. HOW DID YOU GET ONE OF YOUR SCARS? Katana accident. No lie.
48. WHO WAS THE LAST PERS0N TO MAKE YOU MAD? Myself.
49. DO YOU LIKE ANYB0DY? I like a lot of people.
50. WHAT IS THE LAST THING YOU PURCHASED? Banana and OJ for brefkist this a.m.
2. DO YOU OWN AN IPOD? Nope. I’m a big old luddite
3. WHAT PERSON ON YOUR TOP 8 DO YOU TALK TO THE MOST? Perry
4. WHAT TIME IS Y0UR ALARM CLOCK SET TO? 5:50am.
5. DO YOU STILL REMEMBER THE FIRST PERSON YOU KISSED? Yeppers. Tracy H. in the 9th grade at the Sadie Hawkins dance. Open mouth and everything.
6. DO YOU WEAR FLIP-FLOPS WHEN IT'S COLD? No. My roommate does. Weird.
7. WOULD Y0U RATHER TAKE THE PICTURE OR BE IN THE PICTURE? Both
8. WHAT WAS THE LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? Season 1 of “Six Feet Under”
9. DO ANY OF YOUR FRIENDS HAVE CHILDREN? Sure
10. HAS ANY0NE EVER CALLED YOU LAZY? Yup.
11. DO YOU EVER TAKE MEDICATION TO HELP YOU FALL ASLEEP? Not since last year.
12. WHAT CD IS CURRENTLY IN YOUR CD PLaYER? Peter Gabriel Secret World Tour Live.
13. DO YOU PREFER REGULAR OR CHOCOLATE MILK? None.
14. HAS ANYONE TOLD YOU A SECRET THIS WEEK? Nope
15. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU HAD STARBUCKS? A few weeks ago?
16. CAN YOU WHISTLE? Just pucker up your lips and bloooow.
17. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT THE OPPOSITE SEX? eyes, then bod
18. DO YOU THINK PEOPLE TALK AB0UT YOU BEHIND YOUR BACK? i'm sure they do.
19. DID YOU WATCH CARTO0NS AS A CHILD? yup
20. WHAT MOVIE DO YOU KNOW EVERY LINE TO? Ghostbusters
(dont know where 21 or 22 went to)
23. DO YOU OWN ANY BAND T-SHIRTS? Nope
24. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SALAD DRESSING? Fat Free Caesar
25. IS ANYONE IN LOVE WITH YOU? Sure! Don’t you know who I think I am?
26. DO YOU DO YOUR OWN DISHES? Yes. I’m fastidious about it.
27. EVER CRY IN PUBLIC? Not since last X-mas
28. ARE YOU ON A DESKTOP COMPUTER OR A LAP TOP? Desktop
29. ARE YOU CURRENTLY WANTING ANY PIERCINGS OR TATTOO? I want a tattoo of the Japanese kanji for “community theatre”.
30. WHATS THE WEATHER LIKE? Nicer, thankfully. I was about to go through some SAD frass.
31. WOULD YOU EVER DATE ANYONE COVERED IN TATTOOS? Sure, and have.
32. WHAT DID YOU DO BEFORE THIS? Shower
33. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU SLEPT ON THE FLOOR? Last Christmas time? 2005
34. HOW MANY HOURS OF SLEEP DO YOU NEED TO FUNCTION? Six usually.
35. DO YOU EAT BREAKFAST DAILY? I do.
36. ARE YOUR DAYS FULL AND FAST PACED? I try not to get to overwhelmed, but they are usually pretty full.
37. DO YOU PAY ATTENTION TO THE CALORIES IN THE PACKAGE? I’d be lyin’ if I said no.
38. DO YOU USE SARCASM? Neeeeeever.
(39 is AWOL too)
40. ARE YOU PICKY ABOUT SPELLING AND GRAMMAR? Mildly.
41. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN TO SIX FLAGS? Yup. In Fort Worth, TX. They had a great t-shirt that I’m kicking myself for not buying it. (A picture of The WB’s “Sylvester” saying “Texath!”)
(42. MIA)
43. DO YOU GET ALONG BETTER WITH THE SAME SEX OR THE OPPOSITE SEX? a vast majority of my friends are guys--i am a dude.
44. DO Y0U LIKE MUSTARD? Yup.
45. DO YOU SLEEP ON YOUR SIDE, STOMACH or BACK? Side or tummy.
46. DO YOU WATCH THE NEWS? Only if the ‘Bean is watching it in the kitchen.
47. HOW DID YOU GET ONE OF YOUR SCARS? Katana accident. No lie.
48. WHO WAS THE LAST PERS0N TO MAKE YOU MAD? Myself.
49. DO YOU LIKE ANYB0DY? I like a lot of people.
50. WHAT IS THE LAST THING YOU PURCHASED? Banana and OJ for brefkist this a.m.
Wednesday, December 06, 2006
History is cool
Did you know that I wanted to be an archeologist? It's true. Yes, this fire was partially fueled by a drive-in back to back viewing of "Raiders of the Lost Ark" and "Tron" (Hey...I wanted to be a archeologist and not some hockey-padded glow in the dark frisbee chucker. That was next year. And for the record: "Tron" rules. You can play with the action figures I have of Tron and Flynn the next time you visit)
Anyway, my moms fascination with Egyptology coupled with this pop-culture cinema extravaganza fueled a remarkably hot fire that still simmers slightly to this day. (I gave up on wanting to actually BE be an archeologist when I found out that: A- They don't carry around a bullwhip and swing around on things...and B- They don't wear fedora's. What's up with that? Most of'em wear those lame-ass straw gardening hats. Lame.) The curiousity and throwback excitement gets piqued when I read articles like this the possible discovery of St. Paul's tomb underneath the vatican.
How cool is that?
Anyway, my moms fascination with Egyptology coupled with this pop-culture cinema extravaganza fueled a remarkably hot fire that still simmers slightly to this day. (I gave up on wanting to actually BE be an archeologist when I found out that: A- They don't carry around a bullwhip and swing around on things...and B- They don't wear fedora's. What's up with that? Most of'em wear those lame-ass straw gardening hats. Lame.) The curiousity and throwback excitement gets piqued when I read articles like this the possible discovery of St. Paul's tomb underneath the vatican.
How cool is that?
Did you want some sham-pag-nah?
Late last thursday afternoon. Right before my self-imposed one week exile fro the office. That little black smudge behind me? Darth Vader. Reaching out to Luke who is precariously taped upside under my hanging file cabinet in a scene from "Empire". Don't be jealous, haters.
And for the record, there ain't nothin' wrong with a little scruff. Peter Krause is sporting scruff in the 1st 5 episodes of "Six Feet Under". And, per Dorajar, he's "Hot". (Albeit, she qualified it by saying it was a liiiiittle too long. Whatever. I haveta shave before the on-camera tomorrow. Then it's the excitement of, wait for it...a new RAZOR! Yeah. Shup. Love the little things, bitches!!!)
xoxoxoxo
High Art/Marshall and Broadway
Table Art. I should start an installation, yeah? (Actually, this is very similar to what I was thinking about painting on the blank canvass I've owned for 3 frassin' years. I thought "Oh, Hey. Cool. Feminine form. Very cool. Hip. Trendy. " Until we went into the art-for-sale store and saw 8-9 similarly styled pieces. Frass. Don't break your leg jumping on the bandwagon there, baby P. Still, something kind of novel about "Table Art". Little T's...Macaroni Grill...IJS!
Dorajar and the 'Bean scenes from the 1029, Sunday December 3rd. This is the 'Bean's new favorite bar. Sunday night karaoke, yo. With a DJ who has his radio voice on...all the time.
Where you be?
Off. Off off off off work for a week and I'm already almost halfway through it!
See, the original plan was going to be "Week off in December, hit France and then Rome"
Well...
Finances and the holidays being what they are, it ended up getting slightly amended to: "Let's go somewhere warmer for a few days?"
Well...
I ended up w/an audition and a callback w/in the same space of time and it just wudn't work. Boo.
What did and is happening is that I've been enjoying a week off devoid of responsibility. (With the exception of rehearsal in the pm. Thanks again, big-kid job, for reminding me that if I didn't take this week off? It wouldn't roll over. B@$t@rd$)
So Frids, I hit an am audition for this crazy old Greek man, complete with thick accent/white crazy hair/and Biiiiiig bushy eyebrows. I'm supposed to read it as, get this, a race-car driver? I don't really know how one is supposed to "read" as a race car driver (I informed my agent that my Nascar jumpsuit is unfortunately at the cleaners, and would Spider Man do?) Now, I'm pretty limited as to what I'm supposed to wear ("Just go upscale casual" she tells me) and what's worse I don't have an update HS/Resume' at home (FUCK! I'm down to my last 5 HS's? Butternut Fuck...) So, it's out to Wdby to print one off at work, then to Bloomie for this audition. I read. Fine. Straight down the line. Crazy Greek Producer is shaking his head. He wants more "race car driver. Jou ares veddy essited about rice cars."/"Okay?"/"Jou knows? Ick-ting?"
Acting. Right. I'm not "acting it". (Cue trumpet noise with shrug "Whahmp whammmmp")
Lunch with Mosul at the Holy Land for the most delectible morsels of Halal Chicken in the TC Metro. (Even better than Chutney, I'd wager. Again, though- When did I become a member of the 2 plate club? Time was, I could load up 3 plates EASY! Now I barely filled my plates, and I barely touched the starches. All that flatbread...wasted)
Naps. Rehearsal. Prestons.
Saturday was, again, devooooid of responsibility. wOOt. c/b for "Geboren Nachmitag" blended into happy hour frassin' (There's something satisfying about finding an incredibly frugal and crazy happy hour that's good for the soul. If you're curious, yes...we did find the best sushi in the TC Metro.) We were given the option to see a free show...we ended up passing out early. Again. We're seniors.
Sunday after brefkist, we braved Rosedale/Target/and B and N for some shop frassin' where I discovered that in spite of having a boat load of gift cards to blow? I found nothing. Abercrombie and Fitch STILL doesn't appeal to me. After 2 years. I should just say "fuck it" and buy their cologne. Seriously. It's all, like, little kid clothes and things that are torn. Who wants to buy ripped up clothes for $80? I wear the crotch out of my jeans all by myself for free, thanks.
After a quick naplet and tofu veggie wraps for dinner, 'Bean/Mo/and m'self decided to hit the Market for our bi-annual visit annnnnd. It was dead. Nixon dead. Instead, we bowled at Elsies and hit "karaoke with the JAMMER" at the 1029. Comedy. Warbling tunes, frassin', and watching the snowfall. What a Sunday.
Monday. Even less frass. Seriously, by this point we were all like "Ummmm...we're becoming skilled and gifted at lying around." Which we did. Until we decided to grab dinner that evening and watch "Six Feet Under". In spite of my anti-TV frassbox? Not a bad show. Really.
Yesterday was accompli-frass! Patched holes, cleaned, prepped the bathroom ceiling for painting (Needs to be white) and...wait for it: Fixed the broken kitchen sprayer. (The only collateral of tha was a shit ton of fiberglass that fell in my eye. Again. Felt like a pebble behind my eyeball. Ouch) Moses came over later and we ate sesame ginger glazed salmon served over green-curry sauteed veggies and watched the next few installments of "Six Feet Under". Seriously, at $1.06 to rent 4 episodes...it's worth it. (And now I want Netflix.)
The rest of the week will be comprised of the following: The New Walker (I've never been) paint bathroom ceiling. Prep staircase. MIA. Karate for the a.m. class. Work out. Friday, hit downtown for the Macy's 8th floor exhibit. (RSvP, wanna get lunch?) Rehearse/Rehearse/Rehearse. Study for the series 6 make-up. Audition for BW3 training video. (Heh. Maybe take an "Ick-ting for the Camera" class before hand?)
Sleep. In.
See, the original plan was going to be "Week off in December, hit France and then Rome"
Well...
Finances and the holidays being what they are, it ended up getting slightly amended to: "Let's go somewhere warmer for a few days?"
Well...
I ended up w/an audition and a callback w/in the same space of time and it just wudn't work. Boo.
What did and is happening is that I've been enjoying a week off devoid of responsibility. (With the exception of rehearsal in the pm. Thanks again, big-kid job, for reminding me that if I didn't take this week off? It wouldn't roll over. B@$t@rd$)
So Frids, I hit an am audition for this crazy old Greek man, complete with thick accent/white crazy hair/and Biiiiiig bushy eyebrows. I'm supposed to read it as, get this, a race-car driver? I don't really know how one is supposed to "read" as a race car driver (I informed my agent that my Nascar jumpsuit is unfortunately at the cleaners, and would Spider Man do?) Now, I'm pretty limited as to what I'm supposed to wear ("Just go upscale casual" she tells me) and what's worse I don't have an update HS/Resume' at home (FUCK! I'm down to my last 5 HS's? Butternut Fuck...) So, it's out to Wdby to print one off at work, then to Bloomie for this audition. I read. Fine. Straight down the line. Crazy Greek Producer is shaking his head. He wants more "race car driver. Jou ares veddy essited about rice cars."/"Okay?"/"Jou knows? Ick-ting?"
Acting. Right. I'm not "acting it". (Cue trumpet noise with shrug "Whahmp whammmmp")
Lunch with Mosul at the Holy Land for the most delectible morsels of Halal Chicken in the TC Metro. (Even better than Chutney, I'd wager. Again, though- When did I become a member of the 2 plate club? Time was, I could load up 3 plates EASY! Now I barely filled my plates, and I barely touched the starches. All that flatbread...wasted)
Naps. Rehearsal. Prestons.
Saturday was, again, devooooid of responsibility. wOOt. c/b for "Geboren Nachmitag" blended into happy hour frassin' (There's something satisfying about finding an incredibly frugal and crazy happy hour that's good for the soul. If you're curious, yes...we did find the best sushi in the TC Metro.) We were given the option to see a free show...we ended up passing out early. Again. We're seniors.
Sunday after brefkist, we braved Rosedale/Target/and B and N for some shop frassin' where I discovered that in spite of having a boat load of gift cards to blow? I found nothing. Abercrombie and Fitch STILL doesn't appeal to me. After 2 years. I should just say "fuck it" and buy their cologne. Seriously. It's all, like, little kid clothes and things that are torn. Who wants to buy ripped up clothes for $80? I wear the crotch out of my jeans all by myself for free, thanks.
After a quick naplet and tofu veggie wraps for dinner, 'Bean/Mo/and m'self decided to hit the Market for our bi-annual visit annnnnd. It was dead. Nixon dead. Instead, we bowled at Elsies and hit "karaoke with the JAMMER" at the 1029. Comedy. Warbling tunes, frassin', and watching the snowfall. What a Sunday.
Monday. Even less frass. Seriously, by this point we were all like "Ummmm...we're becoming skilled and gifted at lying around." Which we did. Until we decided to grab dinner that evening and watch "Six Feet Under". In spite of my anti-TV frassbox? Not a bad show. Really.
Yesterday was accompli-frass! Patched holes, cleaned, prepped the bathroom ceiling for painting (Needs to be white) and...wait for it: Fixed the broken kitchen sprayer. (The only collateral of tha was a shit ton of fiberglass that fell in my eye. Again. Felt like a pebble behind my eyeball. Ouch) Moses came over later and we ate sesame ginger glazed salmon served over green-curry sauteed veggies and watched the next few installments of "Six Feet Under". Seriously, at $1.06 to rent 4 episodes...it's worth it. (And now I want Netflix.)
The rest of the week will be comprised of the following: The New Walker (I've never been) paint bathroom ceiling. Prep staircase. MIA. Karate for the a.m. class. Work out. Friday, hit downtown for the Macy's 8th floor exhibit. (RSvP, wanna get lunch?) Rehearse/Rehearse/Rehearse. Study for the series 6 make-up. Audition for BW3 training video. (Heh. Maybe take an "Ick-ting for the Camera" class before hand?)
Sleep. In.
Friday, December 01, 2006
Clearly, I must be stopped with the made up words.
Thanks go to Mo-rajar for finding the Frass image.
I'm house sitting my friend Latt's cats. Nice enough bastards, but my. They hate me. "Rowr Rowr ROOOOWR!"
"Okay, okay. Wet food. I forgot how bitchy you get when you don't get it."
"Well, rowr"
"I hear you"
"ROWR"
"No, I think your friend here articulated his feelings before, thanks."
"rowr"
"Yeah yeah. Let's hear you cluck when I don't come back for 2 days"
And then, they ignored me.
Thursday, November 30, 2006
Article of the Day...
Again, too much fascination with wikipedia.org. Today feels justified.
The article of the day, care of Wiki:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/History_of_erotic_depictions
(Now, I gotta say. If you go right to the wiki homepage and scroll down there is also a featured article on "Furry Conventions". I think those things scare me about as much as clowns, and great white sharks. )
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:Head_to_head_clowns.jpg
http://www.duiops.net/seresvivos/galeria/tiburones/Great%20White%20Shark,%20South%20Africa.jpg
Shup. I know the 2nd image off of wiki. All the great white pics they had on there were lame and tame. Made the shark look practically cuddily. Look...at that frassin' mouth. Mo showed me pics of her getting ready to snorkel off of the great barrier reef last night after rehearsal.
I don't know if I could do it?
The article of the day, care of Wiki:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/History_of_erotic_depictions
(Now, I gotta say. If you go right to the wiki homepage and scroll down there is also a featured article on "Furry Conventions". I think those things scare me about as much as clowns, and great white sharks. )
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:Head_to_head_clowns.jpg
http://www.duiops.net/seresvivos/galeria/tiburones/Great%20White%20Shark,%20South%20Africa.jpg
Shup. I know the 2nd image off of wiki. All the great white pics they had on there were lame and tame. Made the shark look practically cuddily. Look...at that frassin' mouth. Mo showed me pics of her getting ready to snorkel off of the great barrier reef last night after rehearsal.
I don't know if I could do it?
Birthday Ninja!
Happy belated birthday to fellow blogger and crazy beautiful Brit chick MD! She's a frassy go-get-em martial artist who...when she isn't trying to kill me, is actually a very nice woman.
; )
Many happy returns you little love-Mick-MUFFIN!
Tuesday, November 28, 2006
Don't ask, or?
"Baby it's cold, inside?"
Apparently all the boys in "Monty" received these as closing night gifts. (The ladies received burlesque styled "g-strings") They were a gift from the ass't director, aptly named a "Willy Warmer"
You heard me. I didn't really know I was gonna get this until she asked me what my favorite color shade is. I put two pics up so you could get an idea where, you know...you're bits are supposed to go . No. She did not take measurements. She made them all "one size fits most wieners".
Oh, and sorry I didn't get any costume pics (of any costumes) from "Monty". I was gently reminded that posting pictures of me in assless chaps for the world and family to see was...probably not a great idea?
Meh. If I can re-size them correctly, maybe I can find some more photo's of H'ween '06. They aren't much better in terms of their embarrassment factor.
Ugly baby, Frassy Stripper.
Saturday, November 25, 2006
Ha Ha!
Y'all are going to have sooooooooo much shit to read through! Mad props to those of you who actually can make it through my delusions. Madder props to those who offer commentary.
I have a whole role of developed film I had wanted to post, but rassin frassin sizing problems make all of the images look like they were taken in a fun house.
Good Luck, yo!
xoxoxoxoxo
I have a whole role of developed film I had wanted to post, but rassin frassin sizing problems make all of the images look like they were taken in a fun house.
Good Luck, yo!
xoxoxoxoxo
How I got this body, or...
The narcissistic frasser rant...(The Strib runs this article on Sunday's, and the day they use me for a write up will be a looooong way away)
I am humbled to get pegged as a health nut by my friends. Really. I've been able to give workout advice to (quite a few now) TC theatre members and also friends that I really think has helped them to each acheive their own individual fitness goals- whether it's for a show they are in or just for their own personal wellness. I like the feeling that I had a hand in that.
So I thought I'd post my pre-"Monty" workout frass to give y'all an idea as to how I went about my routine to get pseudo-nudeworthy. Forgiveness is begged for y'all who get bored easily by this.
Diet:
I adjusted my cals to the 1500 a day range. Now, for those that subscribe to the RDA standards and think "God, that's so LOW!" I offer this- To get "Cut", you gotta burn more than you take in. To "build" (gain muscle) you need to take in more than you'd normally need. Doi, right. Bodybuilders typically take in 4-5000 calories a day while training just to get contest ready. I didn't have the time for this (The pre-requisite 3-4 hours a day in a gym) so I balanced it out. And really, as a soapbox moment, I think peeps take in more calories daily than they actually need to be function and be healthy. Start by counting the calories on the box. Smaller portions are-in fact- best, even though a majority of people get alarmed when they end up feeling so hungry between meals. For me, hungry means I've waited long enough for the food and it seems justified to nibble again. I was particularly aware of not eating after 7pm and keeping my meals small and evenly spaced throughout the day.
Bkfst:
8am- Banana
9am- Yogurt
10:30 to 11am- Two slices of wheat toast + sugar free jelly
Lunch:
Noon to 1:30 - (Usually) a brothy soup with a bag of freshly chopped spinach, tomato, and garlic.
Snack:
2pm- (Fat free pretzels)
Dinner:
Between 4-7pm. (2 skinless Chicken breasts, Steamed Chinese veggies w/enough for leftovers, Veggie wraps, 3 Boca patties, 1/2 cup of pasta w/veggies etc.)
Booze. Well, I cut it down. No calorie laden wine. No beer. I can't say it was gone-gone. I still buy into Mr. Matthew McConnaughey's philosophy of "Working out hard during the a.m. is to ready yourself for that party at night". Not the best philosophy for getting to be my leanest, but it works for the stressed out working actor.
Exercise:
Run/Jog 3 x's a week.
Weights- Hit every body part (shoulders, arms, legs, chest, back) at LEAST twice a week, higher reps and lighter weight. (Dorajar will attest to my working out my arms/shoulders while we watched "The DaVinci Code") Usually until muscle failure. The last week or so before the show, I started with the iso-metric exercise. (Flexing each muscle until it started shaking. Why? Increases definition and vascularity. That's why)
Typically I like to get to the dojo 2-3 x's a week, but being in a show will often reduce this to nil when rehearsal gets too busy. MD will back me up that jogging after a karate session is just top-shelf. (All that stretching and centering? Oh Yeah. Makes for a heavenly run)
Abs- At least 4 x's a week. On the exer-ball.
That being said, I do miss my gym membership. That is to say, I miss having a chin-up bar or lat machine at my disposal. Dumbbell rows and bench rows just don't cut it for me in terms of back muscle exercise. Maybe I should build a chin-up stand in my back yard?
And as a means of penance-
The past few years I'd been advising welness to folks, I always felt like kind of a poser. I'd work out and all, sure. But still...not much to show physically. Then, about a year ago some personal frass happened, I got depressed, and stopped eating almost entirely (Save for Redwrights plying me with brisket and Southern cooking) when low and behold? I could pull my jeans off, belt and all, without unfastening it. Once the depression quit, I figured I'd get back into a "confort zone" where I'd start eating whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted. Thereby gaining the 20lbs back that I'd lost. Well go fig, I actually don't mind the reduction in the # of calories. I actually feel worse now when I do have an opportunity to gorge myself. And I don't like eating too late. Like, say, having to eat dinner at 10:30pm. (Which, before said depression frass, was usually a heaping plate of pesto pasta nightly. Heaping. Like, a half a box of Creamette pasta heaping. Really)
So yeah. Feels good. Try it out sometime. RSvP cut out soda a few months ago and looks fantastic.
I am humbled to get pegged as a health nut by my friends. Really. I've been able to give workout advice to (quite a few now) TC theatre members and also friends that I really think has helped them to each acheive their own individual fitness goals- whether it's for a show they are in or just for their own personal wellness. I like the feeling that I had a hand in that.
So I thought I'd post my pre-"Monty" workout frass to give y'all an idea as to how I went about my routine to get pseudo-nudeworthy. Forgiveness is begged for y'all who get bored easily by this.
Diet:
I adjusted my cals to the 1500 a day range. Now, for those that subscribe to the RDA standards and think "God, that's so LOW!" I offer this- To get "Cut", you gotta burn more than you take in. To "build" (gain muscle) you need to take in more than you'd normally need. Doi, right. Bodybuilders typically take in 4-5000 calories a day while training just to get contest ready. I didn't have the time for this (The pre-requisite 3-4 hours a day in a gym) so I balanced it out. And really, as a soapbox moment, I think peeps take in more calories daily than they actually need to be function and be healthy. Start by counting the calories on the box. Smaller portions are-in fact- best, even though a majority of people get alarmed when they end up feeling so hungry between meals. For me, hungry means I've waited long enough for the food and it seems justified to nibble again. I was particularly aware of not eating after 7pm and keeping my meals small and evenly spaced throughout the day.
Bkfst:
8am- Banana
9am- Yogurt
10:30 to 11am- Two slices of wheat toast + sugar free jelly
Lunch:
Noon to 1:30 - (Usually) a brothy soup with a bag of freshly chopped spinach, tomato, and garlic.
Snack:
2pm- (Fat free pretzels)
Dinner:
Between 4-7pm. (2 skinless Chicken breasts, Steamed Chinese veggies w/enough for leftovers, Veggie wraps, 3 Boca patties, 1/2 cup of pasta w/veggies etc.)
Booze. Well, I cut it down. No calorie laden wine. No beer. I can't say it was gone-gone. I still buy into Mr. Matthew McConnaughey's philosophy of "Working out hard during the a.m. is to ready yourself for that party at night". Not the best philosophy for getting to be my leanest, but it works for the stressed out working actor.
Exercise:
Run/Jog 3 x's a week.
Weights- Hit every body part (shoulders, arms, legs, chest, back) at LEAST twice a week, higher reps and lighter weight. (Dorajar will attest to my working out my arms/shoulders while we watched "The DaVinci Code") Usually until muscle failure. The last week or so before the show, I started with the iso-metric exercise. (Flexing each muscle until it started shaking. Why? Increases definition and vascularity. That's why)
Typically I like to get to the dojo 2-3 x's a week, but being in a show will often reduce this to nil when rehearsal gets too busy. MD will back me up that jogging after a karate session is just top-shelf. (All that stretching and centering? Oh Yeah. Makes for a heavenly run)
Abs- At least 4 x's a week. On the exer-ball.
That being said, I do miss my gym membership. That is to say, I miss having a chin-up bar or lat machine at my disposal. Dumbbell rows and bench rows just don't cut it for me in terms of back muscle exercise. Maybe I should build a chin-up stand in my back yard?
And as a means of penance-
The past few years I'd been advising welness to folks, I always felt like kind of a poser. I'd work out and all, sure. But still...not much to show physically. Then, about a year ago some personal frass happened, I got depressed, and stopped eating almost entirely (Save for Redwrights plying me with brisket and Southern cooking) when low and behold? I could pull my jeans off, belt and all, without unfastening it. Once the depression quit, I figured I'd get back into a "confort zone" where I'd start eating whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted. Thereby gaining the 20lbs back that I'd lost. Well go fig, I actually don't mind the reduction in the # of calories. I actually feel worse now when I do have an opportunity to gorge myself. And I don't like eating too late. Like, say, having to eat dinner at 10:30pm. (Which, before said depression frass, was usually a heaping plate of pesto pasta nightly. Heaping. Like, a half a box of Creamette pasta heaping. Really)
So yeah. Feels good. Try it out sometime. RSvP cut out soda a few months ago and looks fantastic.
MOA? WTF?
Traditionally, I used to hit downtown Mipples the day after Thksgvng to putz around. See the 8th floor exhibit of DAYTONS (yes, I said it) and have lunch with my dad. I've gotten away from that in recent years so I decided to do it again this year. Well, after some debate- Dorajar and I decided to forego the DT Mipples trip (Maybe, cough cough, to get FeeJ to come with?) and try to set our sights on a loftier Black Friday goal:
The Mother Loving Mall of America.
And we did. We bought nothing, but that doesn't diminish our pride in tackling that bitch of a mall. And yes, the crazy crazies were out in droves. Great Success.
Afterward, we hit the Lagoon for a mat of "For you Consideration" (A good Guest film. Good. It doesn't help that even if the movie isn't great- the man had me at "Spinal Tap". "A Princess Bride", and a "Guffman" later...I'm his bitch. There, I said it. And even for a lesser Guest film, it was good. Try viewing it as a pure Hollywood satire and I think you'll see what I mean.)
Then home and nap.
Can someone tell me why, for all of it's popularity, H and M sells shit that...for guys...really really likes to accentuate your bits? I'm a 3-pack boxer brief kind of guy, and all the single sale undiepants at H/M were...how shall I put this delicately? Cocktastic?
The Mother Loving Mall of America.
And we did. We bought nothing, but that doesn't diminish our pride in tackling that bitch of a mall. And yes, the crazy crazies were out in droves. Great Success.
Afterward, we hit the Lagoon for a mat of "For you Consideration" (A good Guest film. Good. It doesn't help that even if the movie isn't great- the man had me at "Spinal Tap". "A Princess Bride", and a "Guffman" later...I'm his bitch. There, I said it. And even for a lesser Guest film, it was good. Try viewing it as a pure Hollywood satire and I think you'll see what I mean.)
Then home and nap.
Can someone tell me why, for all of it's popularity, H and M sells shit that...for guys...really really likes to accentuate your bits? I'm a 3-pack boxer brief kind of guy, and all the single sale undiepants at H/M were...how shall I put this delicately? Cocktastic?
Turkey Day Frass...
Well, all my blog buddies are typing this shit...so here's mine:
Wednesday, post-testing- Clean Clean Clean. Mo came over and did the woodwork and helped make the pumpkin cheesecake. Stayed up until midnight house-frassin.
Thursday: Finished spot cleaning and table setting. Set out much of my paltry food accoutrements. 'Bean finishes his bedroom. We shower. Dorajar shows up at 10. Dad shows up shortly after. We help him unpack his stuff. And there is a lot of it. The first round of cocktails are imbibed. (10:30. Dad couldn't resist the allure of a spicy BM)
11:30- Redwright calls with the news that she and Fred got up late and there wouldn't be bird. The joke is lost when I tell her that we have enough food to choke an army regiment. I'm mildly scolded as to how I'm not fun to tease.
The culprits who done showed there faces: WW and their clan, Mo, RSVP + Co, Mom, Dad, 'Bean, 'Bean's daughter.
Noon on: Booze and food. The casualties: Veggie plate, Hawaiian Sweet Potatoes, 3 different kind of stuffing, shrimp, herring, nuts, yogurt covered pretzels, grilled salmon (w/fresh rosemary, lime /lemon, and garlic.) coffee, sweet potato pie, apple pie, pecan pie, pumpkin cheesecake, 3-bean salad, green beans, TWO turkeys (One brined, one not), mashed potatoes, gravy, Cranberry sauce, jello...when does it end?
After bellies were filled, couch spots were appropriated. Mom went to work. RSVP and Co hit the road. Mags and Mo-Mo did dishes. And I started my 3rd beverage. Once the whole of the house cleared, I was able to nap and spit the bit for Eeds to the Prairie for MORE Turkey Day frass at the Palacio del Perry. (Charades, anyone? I'm gonna be a braggy Betty and say that I did, in fact, have the fastest guess/charade time at 7 seconds. Top that bitches.)
Exhaustion set in at 11. I slept the sleep of the dead. And have no recollection of my dreams.
Wednesday, post-testing- Clean Clean Clean. Mo came over and did the woodwork and helped make the pumpkin cheesecake. Stayed up until midnight house-frassin.
Thursday: Finished spot cleaning and table setting. Set out much of my paltry food accoutrements. 'Bean finishes his bedroom. We shower. Dorajar shows up at 10. Dad shows up shortly after. We help him unpack his stuff. And there is a lot of it. The first round of cocktails are imbibed. (10:30. Dad couldn't resist the allure of a spicy BM)
11:30- Redwright calls with the news that she and Fred got up late and there wouldn't be bird. The joke is lost when I tell her that we have enough food to choke an army regiment. I'm mildly scolded as to how I'm not fun to tease.
The culprits who done showed there faces: WW and their clan, Mo, RSVP + Co, Mom, Dad, 'Bean, 'Bean's daughter.
Noon on: Booze and food. The casualties: Veggie plate, Hawaiian Sweet Potatoes, 3 different kind of stuffing, shrimp, herring, nuts, yogurt covered pretzels, grilled salmon (w/fresh rosemary, lime /lemon, and garlic.) coffee, sweet potato pie, apple pie, pecan pie, pumpkin cheesecake, 3-bean salad, green beans, TWO turkeys (One brined, one not), mashed potatoes, gravy, Cranberry sauce, jello...when does it end?
After bellies were filled, couch spots were appropriated. Mom went to work. RSVP and Co hit the road. Mags and Mo-Mo did dishes. And I started my 3rd beverage. Once the whole of the house cleared, I was able to nap and spit the bit for Eeds to the Prairie for MORE Turkey Day frass at the Palacio del Perry. (Charades, anyone? I'm gonna be a braggy Betty and say that I did, in fact, have the fastest guess/charade time at 7 seconds. Top that bitches.)
Exhaustion set in at 11. I slept the sleep of the dead. And have no recollection of my dreams.
Oh, the thing?
Sorry guys. I wish I had better news. I didn't pass the 6. I know I'd been sounding vaguely fatalistic as to my chances of passing the 1st time, but this was one thing I knew for certain. It was a long shot. See, the NASD has a cache' of over 20,000 questions they mix and match to provide a random test sample for the testers. (As a cheat-preventative) My few assurances that the 1st two chapters of the exam guide which were, in fact, the longest and most difficult to navigate would only be (maybe) 2-3 questions? Not so much. I was in the 80-90% range for the last 4 chapters, and not so good on the 1st two. By the tune of 5 questions shy of a pass.
5 fucking questions.
I was pretty bummed, all told. As I was swilling wine over dinner with Mo, she did give me a comfort that I'm gonna stand by:
"Baby, of all the things you could study and test for? This has got to be as far away from your strengths as possible."
True dat. At least I tried. And get two more chances to try before I lose my job.
Oh, anyone have any openings for an energetic go-getter that pays over $40K and is a little closer to my home- lemme know.
Frass.
5 fucking questions.
I was pretty bummed, all told. As I was swilling wine over dinner with Mo, she did give me a comfort that I'm gonna stand by:
"Baby, of all the things you could study and test for? This has got to be as far away from your strengths as possible."
True dat. At least I tried. And get two more chances to try before I lose my job.
Oh, anyone have any openings for an energetic go-getter that pays over $40K and is a little closer to my home- lemme know.
Frass.
Really quick misanthropic rant
I hate pokey patties. I like my job. Don't mind the location. But...fuck. Does everyone in that building walk two abreast and as if they are walking through a pool of Crisco? Doop dee do diddy doop dee do diddy doop. Ye can't pass'em w/o seeming rude.
Hurry the fuck up. My toast is getting cold.
Hurry the fuck up. My toast is getting cold.
Post Show, Post Script, or...
How I am going to be banned from some of the nicer restaurants in the TC.
I met FeeJ, Grooders, Mo-Mo, and Redwright at the Sample Pample for nibbles and wine as a sort of "Hey, I don't have to strip onstage any more for the rest of the year!" celebration. We were wining, dining (butternut squash and pesto make for a BOMB shit pasta sauce, yo. Try it. Quickly now, it's seasonal!) and really frass frass frass. A beautiful thing.
One of the stories traipses into sleep patterns, and Dorajar tells the tale about how I whack her in the face mid-slumber. Not to be outdone, I try to get into the whole "bed hogging" scenario. Where I get up to go to the loo in the wee hours, and come back to her in a pose that is similar to Da Vinci's "Vetruvian Man". No room for buddy. And she takes all the sheets. What? IJS.
And again, in true frassy fashion- I think that a demonstration is in order. You know, so the table can get a better idea of the pose. I look at her and say "Ready?", and before she can respond I shoot my arms out in a cheerleader-esque pose.
Knocking her off of her high-top chair and down onto the floor. Which gathered stares in our direction like the State Fair freak show. Ike Turner, party of one? You can sit next to baby P.
Dora was laughing her a$$ off, but the level of embarrassment/shame/"wtf did I just do" sort of countered any amusement I probably could have garnered. Strangely enough, we had only one commenter stop over and say "Maybe you should stick to restaurants with rubber floors?"
Right. I'm a douche.
(The second party foul, for those keeping score, happened early this year when I tossed a dude to the ground and ripped the shit out of his coat at JP's after KFH. Please. For the love. Don't "attack" someone b/c they are in the arts that are martial. Some of us try to know what we're doing now and then. And your pretty Wilson's leather may get injured)
I met FeeJ, Grooders, Mo-Mo, and Redwright at the Sample Pample for nibbles and wine as a sort of "Hey, I don't have to strip onstage any more for the rest of the year!" celebration. We were wining, dining (butternut squash and pesto make for a BOMB shit pasta sauce, yo. Try it. Quickly now, it's seasonal!) and really frass frass frass. A beautiful thing.
One of the stories traipses into sleep patterns, and Dorajar tells the tale about how I whack her in the face mid-slumber. Not to be outdone, I try to get into the whole "bed hogging" scenario. Where I get up to go to the loo in the wee hours, and come back to her in a pose that is similar to Da Vinci's "Vetruvian Man". No room for buddy. And she takes all the sheets. What? IJS.
And again, in true frassy fashion- I think that a demonstration is in order. You know, so the table can get a better idea of the pose. I look at her and say "Ready?", and before she can respond I shoot my arms out in a cheerleader-esque pose.
Knocking her off of her high-top chair and down onto the floor. Which gathered stares in our direction like the State Fair freak show. Ike Turner, party of one? You can sit next to baby P.
Dora was laughing her a$$ off, but the level of embarrassment/shame/"wtf did I just do" sort of countered any amusement I probably could have garnered. Strangely enough, we had only one commenter stop over and say "Maybe you should stick to restaurants with rubber floors?"
Right. I'm a douche.
(The second party foul, for those keeping score, happened early this year when I tossed a dude to the ground and ripped the shit out of his coat at JP's after KFH. Please. For the love. Don't "attack" someone b/c they are in the arts that are martial. Some of us try to know what we're doing now and then. And your pretty Wilson's leather may get injured)
But, it's so beautiful...
The day, people. MN in November can be frassy. Let's enjoy the sunshine, sunshines!
No? Wondering how the hammock show went?
So it's done, anyway. I will strip, no more, forever. Last sats, I got up mighty early to hit the "Lear" cb. (Which went, well? I wudn't cast, to which I am no for tripping. It was literally a "who's who" of the TC small teatro' mafia scene. A- I wasn't surprised by the fact I wasn't cast and B- It would have been intimidating as fuck to work w/some to most of them. I'm interested to see where it goes. As a PS to this, I walked outta "Lear" at the flying G back in 1995. By act 2, I was dying. Die-Ing. I was really kinda bored. Way bored. Like "Hey...I'm watching Shakespeare" bored. Tell me a story.) Anyway, a 10am callback. 10 am callbacks should be outlawed. Everyone knows that actors don't get done puking until noon.
Then it was off to BCT. I tell ya, it's weird coming in to do shit like this. On top of being a last minnit understudy (Where you don't have the rehearsal process to make those initial connections/relationships. Shit that I still think is important to making a cohesive show. Me? I just show up, get a costume, and hope I don't fuck up too much) I was a last minnit understudy who did, in fact, need to take off almost all of my clothes.
Quick rumination: This came up in a Strib article a few weeks ago re: Stage Nudity. Now, if the show was right and it was in context, I'd do it. Fine. It's a part of life, yadda yadda yadda (And for anyone that actually saw "Bug" at the PHT, you know that it is a part of the story. Again, I need to say this: Brave actors) But someone said in the above referenced article "It's easier to just either be on stage nekkid, or to start the scene nekkid rather than taking your clothes off"
No shit. I give these strippers (And I say stripper. Not "Hey, look! I'm already nakey! C'mon, guys and gals. Put something INTO it) credit. I thought that I could just get up there and do some half assed club kid pelvic thrusting and then disrobe like a virgin on prom night. Not so much. So yeah. I can't pat myself on the back for having done it, but I still need the acknowledgement out there- Hard stuff.
So diet wise, I was a little more cut the previous week. (For the dietary nerds- I think I hit my water table a day late. Not as much vascularity and an increased smoothness around where it needed NOT to be) I push upped backstage while fielding questions from the cast 14 year old regarding the new Spidey movie. I flexed and worked on getting a pump before going on. (To the point that my body ACHED the next day. You want pain? Try flexing your arm ala' Arnold. Now, hold it. Hold it. Hooooold it. Isometric exercise sucks balls) And I did my thing.
Right before I went on, one of the casties sez "I like it when Eddie jiggles his butt. Can you do that?" Sure. So, the tear aways come off for the final reveal (around the time the guitar riff starts in "Hot Stuff") I flex, turn, and do it. Wobble wobble. Robble robble.
Clearly, my mother is on holiday.
The hard part being over (Behind the unrehearsed and completely improvised Ball room dance scene) I hung up my shit and waited for curtain. The question in my mind is, who in the name of fuck is going to get that banana hammock? Most theatres I know of keep a stock of "stock" costumes from previous performances- Or hold annual sales around H'ween. I can't imagine the pervy motherfrasser who'd buy either one of our thongs. Ish-kabob.
Post show I skidaddled toute suite so I could EAT (Having not eaten since 8am...by 5pm I was a hungry hippo) I was about to frass with Redwright as to our nibbly destination when I was passed by an elderly woman, slowly moving toward the exit. Her arms touches mine, ever so briefly, and in a very conspiratorial fashion (I imagine, so that her hearing aided hubby ahead of her couldn't hear) she sez out of the corner of her mouth:
"Nice buns"
Thank you? (sigh) Well. Those sexy seniors ARE in fact my demographic.
'Nother one bites the dust.
No? Wondering how the hammock show went?
So it's done, anyway. I will strip, no more, forever. Last sats, I got up mighty early to hit the "Lear" cb. (Which went, well? I wudn't cast, to which I am no for tripping. It was literally a "who's who" of the TC small teatro' mafia scene. A- I wasn't surprised by the fact I wasn't cast and B- It would have been intimidating as fuck to work w/some to most of them. I'm interested to see where it goes. As a PS to this, I walked outta "Lear" at the flying G back in 1995. By act 2, I was dying. Die-Ing. I was really kinda bored. Way bored. Like "Hey...I'm watching Shakespeare" bored. Tell me a story.) Anyway, a 10am callback. 10 am callbacks should be outlawed. Everyone knows that actors don't get done puking until noon.
Then it was off to BCT. I tell ya, it's weird coming in to do shit like this. On top of being a last minnit understudy (Where you don't have the rehearsal process to make those initial connections/relationships. Shit that I still think is important to making a cohesive show. Me? I just show up, get a costume, and hope I don't fuck up too much) I was a last minnit understudy who did, in fact, need to take off almost all of my clothes.
Quick rumination: This came up in a Strib article a few weeks ago re: Stage Nudity. Now, if the show was right and it was in context, I'd do it. Fine. It's a part of life, yadda yadda yadda (And for anyone that actually saw "Bug" at the PHT, you know that it is a part of the story. Again, I need to say this: Brave actors) But someone said in the above referenced article "It's easier to just either be on stage nekkid, or to start the scene nekkid rather than taking your clothes off"
No shit. I give these strippers (And I say stripper. Not "Hey, look! I'm already nakey! C'mon, guys and gals. Put something INTO it) credit. I thought that I could just get up there and do some half assed club kid pelvic thrusting and then disrobe like a virgin on prom night. Not so much. So yeah. I can't pat myself on the back for having done it, but I still need the acknowledgement out there- Hard stuff.
So diet wise, I was a little more cut the previous week. (For the dietary nerds- I think I hit my water table a day late. Not as much vascularity and an increased smoothness around where it needed NOT to be) I push upped backstage while fielding questions from the cast 14 year old regarding the new Spidey movie. I flexed and worked on getting a pump before going on. (To the point that my body ACHED the next day. You want pain? Try flexing your arm ala' Arnold. Now, hold it. Hold it. Hooooold it. Isometric exercise sucks balls) And I did my thing.
Right before I went on, one of the casties sez "I like it when Eddie jiggles his butt. Can you do that?" Sure. So, the tear aways come off for the final reveal (around the time the guitar riff starts in "Hot Stuff") I flex, turn, and do it. Wobble wobble. Robble robble.
Clearly, my mother is on holiday.
The hard part being over (Behind the unrehearsed and completely improvised Ball room dance scene) I hung up my shit and waited for curtain. The question in my mind is, who in the name of fuck is going to get that banana hammock? Most theatres I know of keep a stock of "stock" costumes from previous performances- Or hold annual sales around H'ween. I can't imagine the pervy motherfrasser who'd buy either one of our thongs. Ish-kabob.
Post show I skidaddled toute suite so I could EAT (Having not eaten since 8am...by 5pm I was a hungry hippo) I was about to frass with Redwright as to our nibbly destination when I was passed by an elderly woman, slowly moving toward the exit. Her arms touches mine, ever so briefly, and in a very conspiratorial fashion (I imagine, so that her hearing aided hubby ahead of her couldn't hear) she sez out of the corner of her mouth:
"Nice buns"
Thank you? (sigh) Well. Those sexy seniors ARE in fact my demographic.
'Nother one bites the dust.
Tuesday, November 21, 2006
Hey all...
I've been s#itting my pants over Series study time. When it's all over, said and done, I'll frass about last weekend. Prolly after Turkey Day. Some highlights:
My diet
My last time taking my clothes off on stage.
The old lady who was nearly walker bound walking past me saying conspiratorially: "Nice buns"
Knocking Dorajar on her a$$ demonstrating how she takes over the bed in her sleep. This will mark the 2nd time in the last 12 months I've taken someone out in a nice restaurant. This is why I can't have nice things.
There's more, I'm sure...but I'm still in freak out mode. And getting my house ready for company mode.
Ugh.
My diet
My last time taking my clothes off on stage.
The old lady who was nearly walker bound walking past me saying conspiratorially: "Nice buns"
Knocking Dorajar on her a$$ demonstrating how she takes over the bed in her sleep. This will mark the 2nd time in the last 12 months I've taken someone out in a nice restaurant. This is why I can't have nice things.
There's more, I'm sure...but I'm still in freak out mode. And getting my house ready for company mode.
Ugh.
Thursday, November 16, 2006
Sometimes it's really cool to have a frassy grump jazz musician as a friend. I JS.
Fat Kid Midweek'll be playin' the Cedar tonight and oh, wait? Who's on the list? That's right-This guy, right here. (Sorry, Hadda brag for a minnit. It sounds so falutin' when you can say that you're "on the list". All I know is that it means I don't hafta pay. wOOt!)
So if you're in the 7 corners 'hood and wanna see some reeeeeeally good jazz- Here's where ya go:
http://www.thecedar.org/fat_kid_wednesdays
CD Release party, btw. "Seedy Release"...
Fat Kid Midweek'll be playin' the Cedar tonight and oh, wait? Who's on the list? That's right-This guy, right here. (Sorry, Hadda brag for a minnit. It sounds so falutin' when you can say that you're "on the list". All I know is that it means I don't hafta pay. wOOt!)
So if you're in the 7 corners 'hood and wanna see some reeeeeeally good jazz- Here's where ya go:
http://www.thecedar.org/fat_kid_wednesdays
CD Release party, btw. "Seedy Release"...
Tag, You're it!
I come home the other day to a Frassy 'Bean, who informs me that our neighbors discovered graffitti on my garage. Gaaaaang graffitti. So, I call up the Mipples PD "Graffitti Alert Team" (Yes, they have one) report my s#it (Where they ask you ridiculous questions like "What does it say?"/"Well I don't rightly know, ma'am- I'm no symbologist.") and I now have 10 days from today to paint over it.
Sighs...
On the bright side, b/c I have a POS Model T garage I'm less upset than I probably would have been had it been a brand new 3 car garage with an aluminum door. So, if anyone has a new garage lying around somewhere that you aren't using, you let this guy know.
Tuesday, November 14, 2006
Yeah.
I wore it. Shup. Listened to "Hot Schtuff" close to 89 times that morning. Put on a fake tattoo on my "Davids" (Right next to the hip bone. I picked the Chinese kanji for "courage", which I figured I needed.) Got to the theatre. Went over my blocka-blocking. Put everything on. Did some push-ups and sit-ups backstage before going on. Had a mild panic-attack when I thought the saddle bags were, in fact, hanging loo-right as the song started. (They weren't. At least I don't think they were?) Heard one laugh. Threw my clothes off every which ramshackle way they'd go in what I had hoped would be the semblence of rhythm, sultryness, and practiced skill. (I'm laughing at myself for actually writing that last bit)
And that was that.
Quite liberating. Really. I was told later that the dance was "above adequate". One of the follow spot guys said "No one told me what you were doing, so I just kinda went with it." Which I translate into a whirling dervish of a striptease.
The next day I woke up with what felt like a swollen knee, torn groin muscle going down to said knee, frassy neck, and a sore set of teets + arms. (I did a lot of push ups. A lot.) And shit, I wasn't even in a Jiu Jitsu tournament.
One more show to get it right, then it's off to either Holy Land or the Chutney Indian buffet.
And that was that.
Quite liberating. Really. I was told later that the dance was "above adequate". One of the follow spot guys said "No one told me what you were doing, so I just kinda went with it." Which I translate into a whirling dervish of a striptease.
The next day I woke up with what felt like a swollen knee, torn groin muscle going down to said knee, frassy neck, and a sore set of teets + arms. (I did a lot of push ups. A lot.) And shit, I wasn't even in a Jiu Jitsu tournament.
One more show to get it right, then it's off to either Holy Land or the Chutney Indian buffet.
Friday, November 10, 2006
Remind me again...
Why I have a break apart suit hanging by the front door, facing certain death by going onstage in front of a matinee crowd filled with blue hairs, my SO, family etc...in pretty much a degrading pair of leopard print undiepants?
Oh. Right. That obnoxious trait where you imagine yourself as a "hero" that swings in and saves the day when you get a phone call that says "Hey, can you help us out?" Pshaw.
Is it weird that I think doing a show where full on nudity is involved (and part of the story, ala' "Take me Out", "Bug", or "Bent") isn't a big deal, and this show (where I at least have a modicum of coverage) feels kind of weird?
Probably. Meh.
No worries.
ALTHOUGH! It has given rise (heh heh) to a very funny idea for a Christmas Card!
Informal Poll. (GET ON MY INFORMAL POLE!!!!!)
Should my X-mas card be either:
A) Me in the a$$less chaps/cowboy stripper ensemble with a piece of paper held over me bits that says "Happy Holidays!" OR-
B) Me dressed as Santa, fighting a Ninja.
I have a feeling I know who's gonna answer what.
Oh. Right. That obnoxious trait where you imagine yourself as a "hero" that swings in and saves the day when you get a phone call that says "Hey, can you help us out?" Pshaw.
Is it weird that I think doing a show where full on nudity is involved (and part of the story, ala' "Take me Out", "Bug", or "Bent") isn't a big deal, and this show (where I at least have a modicum of coverage) feels kind of weird?
Probably. Meh.
No worries.
ALTHOUGH! It has given rise (heh heh) to a very funny idea for a Christmas Card!
Informal Poll. (GET ON MY INFORMAL POLE!!!!!)
Should my X-mas card be either:
A) Me in the a$$less chaps/cowboy stripper ensemble with a piece of paper held over me bits that says "Happy Holidays!" OR-
B) Me dressed as Santa, fighting a Ninja.
I have a feeling I know who's gonna answer what.
To give you an idea...
Of how fastiduous and ridiculous I am about this Understudy gig, I wanted to print out the music lyrics to the song I'm supposed to disrobe to. It's a cut, see, and like I've been telling folks: as long as I know how much time I have, and at what points I need to take off what-I'll be aces and applesauce. So I'm googling the lyrics and I have a WTF epiphany. Read'em or not, these are lyrics that you'd have been better off hearing the opening riff at a bar (after you 3rd or 4th cocktail) and going "Ahhhhhhhh! C'mon c'mon c'mmm (hic) ON! Isssss thhish shong!"
As a "ps", it was written by Harold Faltermeyer. The genius behind the memorable soundtracks to "Beverly Hills Cop" and "Top Gun". Yeah. Stick with instrumentals and synth's, Harry. These lyrics just ain't poetry. But really, who the fuck am I to judge?
By means of a "PPS". Eddie, the dude I'm understudying (And who after 2 weeks of a run I was hoping would start to sag or get flabby. But Noooooooo. He's still fucking cut. Prick.) told me that the original score for the stripper was just a cheesey vamp. They ki-boshed it in lieu of this lil' ditty.
By means of a "PPPS". If y'all remember the movie, this is the song that's playing in the "unemployment" section when the guys start dancing in line.
By means of a trivial "PPPPS", Prince Charles shot a commercial in England lampooning this very same scene.
HOT STUFF
Sittin' here eatin' my heart out waitin'
Waitin' for some lover to call (This means what now?)
Dialed about a thousand numbers lately
Almost rang the phone off the wall (Time for Internet dating, Donna)
CHORUS:
Lookin' for some hot stuff baby this evenin' (Ever try curry?)
I need some hot stuff baby tonight (Maybe Don Pablo's?)
I want some hot stuff baby this evenin' (okay)
Gotta have some hot stuff (Enough, dammit...we underSTAND!)
Gotta have some lovin' tonight (Ya ever try loving yourself? It's the first road to recovery)
I need hot stuff
I want some hot stuff
I need some hot stuff (Now this is just silly. By this time the listener should be at the store, buying tabasco for this poor woman. Clearly she's capescin deficient)
Lookin' for a lover who needs another
Don't want another night on my own (I may have read this wrong, but does this mean that she wants a 3-some?)
Wanna share my love with a warm blooded lover
Wanna bring a wild man back home (Right. Clearly Donna is tired of sex with reptiles, and has decided that mad hot yeti-sex is the way to go. Beware of mites, Donna. He's been outdoors for a long time)
REPEAT CHORUS
Sittin' here eatin' my heart out, no reason (Wow. This seems so, Aztec, of her)
Won't spend another night on my own (Cooooo-dependency issues.)
I dialed about a hundred numbers baby (A sure path to carpal-tunnel, wait and see)
I'm bound to find somebody home (Well sure. This is about as stupid as finding the weird names in the phone book and calling them. "Hi, is Sam Yang there?"/"No, this is Tim Yang"/"Oops! Looks like I rang the wrong Yang!" Donna Donna Donna. Your childish phone pranks are soooooo 7th grade, and a little bit insensitive. It's time we grew up, don't you think?")
REPEAT CHORUS (fade)
As a "ps", it was written by Harold Faltermeyer. The genius behind the memorable soundtracks to "Beverly Hills Cop" and "Top Gun". Yeah. Stick with instrumentals and synth's, Harry. These lyrics just ain't poetry. But really, who the fuck am I to judge?
By means of a "PPS". Eddie, the dude I'm understudying (And who after 2 weeks of a run I was hoping would start to sag or get flabby. But Noooooooo. He's still fucking cut. Prick.) told me that the original score for the stripper was just a cheesey vamp. They ki-boshed it in lieu of this lil' ditty.
By means of a "PPPS". If y'all remember the movie, this is the song that's playing in the "unemployment" section when the guys start dancing in line.
By means of a trivial "PPPPS", Prince Charles shot a commercial in England lampooning this very same scene.
HOT STUFF
Sittin' here eatin' my heart out waitin'
Waitin' for some lover to call (This means what now?)
Dialed about a thousand numbers lately
Almost rang the phone off the wall (Time for Internet dating, Donna)
CHORUS:
Lookin' for some hot stuff baby this evenin' (Ever try curry?)
I need some hot stuff baby tonight (Maybe Don Pablo's?)
I want some hot stuff baby this evenin' (okay)
Gotta have some hot stuff (Enough, dammit...we underSTAND!)
Gotta have some lovin' tonight (Ya ever try loving yourself? It's the first road to recovery)
I need hot stuff
I want some hot stuff
I need some hot stuff (Now this is just silly. By this time the listener should be at the store, buying tabasco for this poor woman. Clearly she's capescin deficient)
Lookin' for a lover who needs another
Don't want another night on my own (I may have read this wrong, but does this mean that she wants a 3-some?)
Wanna share my love with a warm blooded lover
Wanna bring a wild man back home (Right. Clearly Donna is tired of sex with reptiles, and has decided that mad hot yeti-sex is the way to go. Beware of mites, Donna. He's been outdoors for a long time)
REPEAT CHORUS
Sittin' here eatin' my heart out, no reason (Wow. This seems so, Aztec, of her)
Won't spend another night on my own (Cooooo-dependency issues.)
I dialed about a hundred numbers baby (A sure path to carpal-tunnel, wait and see)
I'm bound to find somebody home (Well sure. This is about as stupid as finding the weird names in the phone book and calling them. "Hi, is Sam Yang there?"/"No, this is Tim Yang"/"Oops! Looks like I rang the wrong Yang!" Donna Donna Donna. Your childish phone pranks are soooooo 7th grade, and a little bit insensitive. It's time we grew up, don't you think?")
REPEAT CHORUS (fade)
Tuesday, November 07, 2006
Surreal, yet still professional
Sooooooooo, I hadda try it on last night. The sock, hammock...(sighs) I'm getting weary just making up names for thong undiepants. In front of two costumer's and a producer, I "practiced" ripping off the breakaway trousers (Get this: They buy a 3-piece gray pinstripe suit from KG and deconstruct it to be "Stripper Ready". Breaks the heart, kind of. Perfectly beautiful 3 piece suit now covered with hidden snaps and velcro.) I then "practiced" putting on the chaps that I'll be wearing for all of 2 minutes of stage time. They're giving me the completed outfit so I can "practice" taking it off at home.
Doesn't that sound suspiciously like those "At home Strip-Aerobics" that Carmen Electra pimped a few years ago? I have no room for a pole in my home. Although a fireman pole would make for a great addition. (Note to self: Consult Home Depot guidebook regarding at-home firemans poles.) Doesn't everybody want to stay in a place like the "Ghostbusters"?
Speaking of lame-ass home workouts...I give you: the Urban Rebounder. ( http://www.urbanrebounding.com/) When the fuck does a mini-trampoline get renamed and pimped on QVC? For tummy exercises I'll LAUD the praises of the exer-ball (Which is, what? A reinforced beach ball) but f#ck a bunch of b#llshit...the only thing mini-tramps are good for was trying to use'em to make dunk-shots on our basketball hoop at home and usually launching ourselves into the pole.
Hey. Maybe Mom and Dad'll let me go to the old place in BeeP's and uproot the basketball pole to make into my fireman pole? Maybe I can do it by this weekend I'll have something to practice my number on....
Oops. That was an out loud comment. But kinda cool how I made this thing come full circle like I did, yeah?
And did you know that "Monty" is now sold out for the entirety of the run? 100%. Even on "Half-priced Hammock" Saturday matinee's I'm doing.
Bring your rubber "coin football". I'm sure all the blue-hairs will.
Doesn't that sound suspiciously like those "At home Strip-Aerobics" that Carmen Electra pimped a few years ago? I have no room for a pole in my home. Although a fireman pole would make for a great addition. (Note to self: Consult Home Depot guidebook regarding at-home firemans poles.) Doesn't everybody want to stay in a place like the "Ghostbusters"?
Speaking of lame-ass home workouts...I give you: the Urban Rebounder. ( http://www.urbanrebounding.com/) When the fuck does a mini-trampoline get renamed and pimped on QVC? For tummy exercises I'll LAUD the praises of the exer-ball (Which is, what? A reinforced beach ball) but f#ck a bunch of b#llshit...the only thing mini-tramps are good for was trying to use'em to make dunk-shots on our basketball hoop at home and usually launching ourselves into the pole.
Hey. Maybe Mom and Dad'll let me go to the old place in BeeP's and uproot the basketball pole to make into my fireman pole? Maybe I can do it by this weekend I'll have something to practice my number on....
Oops. That was an out loud comment. But kinda cool how I made this thing come full circle like I did, yeah?
And did you know that "Monty" is now sold out for the entirety of the run? 100%. Even on "Half-priced Hammock" Saturday matinee's I'm doing.
Bring your rubber "coin football". I'm sure all the blue-hairs will.
Getcher Sticker!
That's right you sexy bitches. You're looking at voter # 291 at the NE Mipples Middle School Media Center/Voting Center! First time registering in my 'hood too! I went there with my lil' Driver's Licsense, and my Lil' Utility bill and did me some voting! It's weird, but every time I remember voting I always feel really really good when I leave. And this time proved to be no exception.
Seriously? Citizens? Get your asses to the polling stations and vote.
Monday, November 06, 2006
'Bean on the Log!
Hey everyone-
Send positive vibes to my roommate, El 'Bean! Today marks his first day departing from the daily grind to pursue full-time acting over the next few months at the Old Blog Theatre. He's duly excited/nervous, and is gonna be focusing his energy into making it a great show!
Quick Quick Quick Re-cappa!
Called in sick on Friday after feeling kind of frassy. The day did wonders for me, as I was able to clean the house top to bottom in what felt like the first time I was able to do so in AGES!
That night Mo-Mo and I saw "Bug" at the Pillsbury House Teatro'. Great play. Amazing, even. The actor's were fearless. So good, and so terrifying it was that I'm gonna give it the "Requiem for a Dream" stamp and say that it's one of the best plays I never want to see again. We hit Preston's afterward for thingytails and frass and I'll just finish my Friday re-cap with this statement: "I hate the Pooost". Really. Free booze? Yeah. Buh-lotto. Thanks for driving Mo-M0. And sorry for locking you out, 'Bean. I'm a tool. (But now we're even...buh-wah-hah-haaaaa!)
Sats was nursing the hangover-iest hangover in hangoversville- After opting out of a matinee of "Borat", I schlepped out for an epic run to sweat the nasty booze toxins out. I futzed through some more errands before hooking up w/Mi-Mo-Sa and heading to Que Viet Village House to further our investigation into trying/supporting local Nordeast Eateries. (Not bad, btw, and reasonably priced. Pork Egg Rolls the size of a bowling pin.) Then it was off to Stipples to wish NicJoy a happy happy b'day where we were entertained by a frassy kitten, a frassy pampie, and a yuge turkey turkey buck buck. (Is it true? Thanksgiving is in how many weeks?)
Home. Then Bed.
Sunds was Fun-ds. After slowly dragging our buns outta bed, we systematically lost several of the individdles who were going to head out to Block E and watch a matinee of "Borat". Still, we made it:
And it was quite possibly one of the funniest fucking movies I've seen in a long time. Go. See. It. If you have any love of satire. Yeah. That's gonna be a blog for another time.
We coffee shopped it @ Diamond's in order to get our rassin' frassin' studying done before heading back to entertain company at mi casa. Mo, Linzie, Ry-Gonn (Who I hadn't seen in, ohhhhhh, two months?) and the 'Bean broke bread together 'round the dinner table...or rather broke sticky rice and Steamed mixed veggies/lo-mein together before heading up to see the most "meh" movie: "The Ringer". Yes, it was a Johnny Knoxville vehicle (Whatever that means) Yes, it was about a guy trying to jerry-rig the Special Olympics by pretending to be developmentally disabled. Yes, we had a few forced guffaws at some of the jokes. Still, meh. About as good as we expected, just not good enough to recommend.
Back at it, Frassers...WORK!
That night Mo-Mo and I saw "Bug" at the Pillsbury House Teatro'. Great play. Amazing, even. The actor's were fearless. So good, and so terrifying it was that I'm gonna give it the "Requiem for a Dream" stamp and say that it's one of the best plays I never want to see again. We hit Preston's afterward for thingytails and frass and I'll just finish my Friday re-cap with this statement: "I hate the Pooost". Really. Free booze? Yeah. Buh-lotto. Thanks for driving Mo-M0. And sorry for locking you out, 'Bean. I'm a tool. (But now we're even...buh-wah-hah-haaaaa!)
Sats was nursing the hangover-iest hangover in hangoversville- After opting out of a matinee of "Borat", I schlepped out for an epic run to sweat the nasty booze toxins out. I futzed through some more errands before hooking up w/Mi-Mo-Sa and heading to Que Viet Village House to further our investigation into trying/supporting local Nordeast Eateries. (Not bad, btw, and reasonably priced. Pork Egg Rolls the size of a bowling pin.) Then it was off to Stipples to wish NicJoy a happy happy b'day where we were entertained by a frassy kitten, a frassy pampie, and a yuge turkey turkey buck buck. (Is it true? Thanksgiving is in how many weeks?)
Home. Then Bed.
Sunds was Fun-ds. After slowly dragging our buns outta bed, we systematically lost several of the individdles who were going to head out to Block E and watch a matinee of "Borat". Still, we made it:
And it was quite possibly one of the funniest fucking movies I've seen in a long time. Go. See. It. If you have any love of satire. Yeah. That's gonna be a blog for another time.
We coffee shopped it @ Diamond's in order to get our rassin' frassin' studying done before heading back to entertain company at mi casa. Mo, Linzie, Ry-Gonn (Who I hadn't seen in, ohhhhhh, two months?) and the 'Bean broke bread together 'round the dinner table...or rather broke sticky rice and Steamed mixed veggies/lo-mein together before heading up to see the most "meh" movie: "The Ringer". Yes, it was a Johnny Knoxville vehicle (Whatever that means) Yes, it was about a guy trying to jerry-rig the Special Olympics by pretending to be developmentally disabled. Yes, we had a few forced guffaws at some of the jokes. Still, meh. About as good as we expected, just not good enough to recommend.
Back at it, Frassers...WORK!
Quick Rant...
b/c it pissed me off. A lot.
My veeeehicle was Christina Aguilera dirty so after getting some petrol at the local station, I opted for a quickski car wash to 86 the accumulating grime. (And the peppering of bird poop that had been speckling my roof for the last week or so.) So we all know that we had some nicer weather this weekend (wOOt) and the sun finally started peeking through the clouds. After gassing up, I noticed a strange whirly pattern that was on the trunk of my car. Upon further inspection, it seemed to take the mysterious shape of a kids tennis shoe. So my gaze travels up to the roof. Now...it was a little hard to tell due to the dust, but it seems that they pulled a half assed parkour and decided to use my car as a part of their race track. 'Kay.
Now, it isn't that I have a grand aesthetic love for my car. Over the past 6 years it's experienced its fair share of dings and bumps. All part of the character. So as long as the kid who was doing the car hopping wasn't a heifer I wasn't too worried. (I've developed a hairline fracture on the windshield after the very first freeze that I hadn't gotten around to replacing in the hoy palloy which was my office move)
Except-
After getting out of the car wash I actually finally notice a very slight indentation. Very. Slight.
It was at that point that I thought if I found those maggot gate mother fuckers in the act of brainless foolishness- they would have been in a world of hurt. Seriously. Iiiiiiiiii, kinda would have wanted to hurt them. No. Yes...really got pissed.
The 'Bean told me that there was an armed robbery recently in my 'Hood which had him a little frassy the other morning. I said that I'd noticed an increase in police patrol, so that they were doing their job by responding to increased levels of that type of criminal activity. You call and report the crimes, you get the 5-0 in your neck of the woods. You leave it be, you let it grow.
And it breaks my heart a little bit. Fah-King kids.
My veeeehicle was Christina Aguilera dirty so after getting some petrol at the local station, I opted for a quickski car wash to 86 the accumulating grime. (And the peppering of bird poop that had been speckling my roof for the last week or so.) So we all know that we had some nicer weather this weekend (wOOt) and the sun finally started peeking through the clouds. After gassing up, I noticed a strange whirly pattern that was on the trunk of my car. Upon further inspection, it seemed to take the mysterious shape of a kids tennis shoe. So my gaze travels up to the roof. Now...it was a little hard to tell due to the dust, but it seems that they pulled a half assed parkour and decided to use my car as a part of their race track. 'Kay.
Now, it isn't that I have a grand aesthetic love for my car. Over the past 6 years it's experienced its fair share of dings and bumps. All part of the character. So as long as the kid who was doing the car hopping wasn't a heifer I wasn't too worried. (I've developed a hairline fracture on the windshield after the very first freeze that I hadn't gotten around to replacing in the hoy palloy which was my office move)
Except-
After getting out of the car wash I actually finally notice a very slight indentation. Very. Slight.
It was at that point that I thought if I found those maggot gate mother fuckers in the act of brainless foolishness- they would have been in a world of hurt. Seriously. Iiiiiiiiii, kinda would have wanted to hurt them. No. Yes...really got pissed.
The 'Bean told me that there was an armed robbery recently in my 'Hood which had him a little frassy the other morning. I said that I'd noticed an increase in police patrol, so that they were doing their job by responding to increased levels of that type of criminal activity. You call and report the crimes, you get the 5-0 in your neck of the woods. You leave it be, you let it grow.
And it breaks my heart a little bit. Fah-King kids.
Saturday, November 04, 2006
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