Sooooooooo, I hadda try it on last night. The sock, hammock...(sighs) I'm getting weary just making up names for thong undiepants. In front of two costumer's and a producer, I "practiced" ripping off the breakaway trousers (Get this: They buy a 3-piece gray pinstripe suit from KG and deconstruct it to be "Stripper Ready". Breaks the heart, kind of. Perfectly beautiful 3 piece suit now covered with hidden snaps and velcro.) I then "practiced" putting on the chaps that I'll be wearing for all of 2 minutes of stage time. They're giving me the completed outfit so I can "practice" taking it off at home.
Doesn't that sound suspiciously like those "At home Strip-Aerobics" that Carmen Electra pimped a few years ago? I have no room for a pole in my home. Although a fireman pole would make for a great addition. (Note to self: Consult Home Depot guidebook regarding at-home firemans poles.) Doesn't everybody want to stay in a place like the "Ghostbusters"?
Speaking of lame-ass home workouts...I give you: the Urban Rebounder. ( http://www.urbanrebounding.com/) When the fuck does a mini-trampoline get renamed and pimped on QVC? For tummy exercises I'll LAUD the praises of the exer-ball (Which is, what? A reinforced beach ball) but f#ck a bunch of b#llshit...the only thing mini-tramps are good for was trying to use'em to make dunk-shots on our basketball hoop at home and usually launching ourselves into the pole.
Hey. Maybe Mom and Dad'll let me go to the old place in BeeP's and uproot the basketball pole to make into my fireman pole? Maybe I can do it by this weekend I'll have something to practice my number on....
Oops. That was an out loud comment. But kinda cool how I made this thing come full circle like I did, yeah?
And did you know that "Monty" is now sold out for the entirety of the run? 100%. Even on "Half-priced Hammock" Saturday matinee's I'm doing.
Bring your rubber "coin football". I'm sure all the blue-hairs will.
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