The day, people. MN in November can be frassy. Let's enjoy the sunshine, sunshines!
No? Wondering how the hammock show went?
So it's done, anyway. I will strip, no more, forever. Last sats, I got up mighty early to hit the "Lear" cb. (Which went, well? I wudn't cast, to which I am no for tripping. It was literally a "who's who" of the TC small teatro' mafia scene. A- I wasn't surprised by the fact I wasn't cast and B- It would have been intimidating as fuck to work w/some to most of them. I'm interested to see where it goes. As a PS to this, I walked outta "Lear" at the flying G back in 1995. By act 2, I was dying. Die-Ing. I was really kinda bored. Way bored. Like "Hey...I'm watching Shakespeare" bored. Tell me a story.) Anyway, a 10am callback. 10 am callbacks should be outlawed. Everyone knows that actors don't get done puking until noon.
Then it was off to BCT. I tell ya, it's weird coming in to do shit like this. On top of being a last minnit understudy (Where you don't have the rehearsal process to make those initial connections/relationships. Shit that I still think is important to making a cohesive show. Me? I just show up, get a costume, and hope I don't fuck up too much) I was a last minnit understudy who did, in fact, need to take off almost all of my clothes.
Quick rumination: This came up in a Strib article a few weeks ago re: Stage Nudity. Now, if the show was right and it was in context, I'd do it. Fine. It's a part of life, yadda yadda yadda (And for anyone that actually saw "Bug" at the PHT, you know that it is a part of the story. Again, I need to say this: Brave actors) But someone said in the above referenced article "It's easier to just either be on stage nekkid, or to start the scene nekkid rather than taking your clothes off"
No shit. I give these strippers (And I say stripper. Not "Hey, look! I'm already nakey! C'mon, guys and gals. Put something INTO it) credit. I thought that I could just get up there and do some half assed club kid pelvic thrusting and then disrobe like a virgin on prom night. Not so much. So yeah. I can't pat myself on the back for having done it, but I still need the acknowledgement out there- Hard stuff.
So diet wise, I was a little more cut the previous week. (For the dietary nerds- I think I hit my water table a day late. Not as much vascularity and an increased smoothness around where it needed NOT to be) I push upped backstage while fielding questions from the cast 14 year old regarding the new Spidey movie. I flexed and worked on getting a pump before going on. (To the point that my body ACHED the next day. You want pain? Try flexing your arm ala' Arnold. Now, hold it. Hold it. Hooooold it. Isometric exercise sucks balls) And I did my thing.
Right before I went on, one of the casties sez "I like it when Eddie jiggles his butt. Can you do that?" Sure. So, the tear aways come off for the final reveal (around the time the guitar riff starts in "Hot Stuff") I flex, turn, and do it. Wobble wobble. Robble robble.
Clearly, my mother is on holiday.
The hard part being over (Behind the unrehearsed and completely improvised Ball room dance scene) I hung up my shit and waited for curtain. The question in my mind is, who in the name of fuck is going to get that banana hammock? Most theatres I know of keep a stock of "stock" costumes from previous performances- Or hold annual sales around H'ween. I can't imagine the pervy motherfrasser who'd buy either one of our thongs. Ish-kabob.
Post show I skidaddled toute suite so I could EAT (Having not eaten since 8am...by 5pm I was a hungry hippo) I was about to frass with Redwright as to our nibbly destination when I was passed by an elderly woman, slowly moving toward the exit. Her arms touches mine, ever so briefly, and in a very conspiratorial fashion (I imagine, so that her hearing aided hubby ahead of her couldn't hear) she sez out of the corner of her mouth:
"Nice buns"
Thank you? (sigh) Well. Those sexy seniors ARE in fact my demographic.
'Nother one bites the dust.
Saturday, November 25, 2006
Tuesday, November 21, 2006
Hey all...
I've been s#itting my pants over Series study time. When it's all over, said and done, I'll frass about last weekend. Prolly after Turkey Day. Some highlights:
My diet
My last time taking my clothes off on stage.
The old lady who was nearly walker bound walking past me saying conspiratorially: "Nice buns"
Knocking Dorajar on her a$$ demonstrating how she takes over the bed in her sleep. This will mark the 2nd time in the last 12 months I've taken someone out in a nice restaurant. This is why I can't have nice things.
There's more, I'm sure...but I'm still in freak out mode. And getting my house ready for company mode.
Ugh.
My diet
My last time taking my clothes off on stage.
The old lady who was nearly walker bound walking past me saying conspiratorially: "Nice buns"
Knocking Dorajar on her a$$ demonstrating how she takes over the bed in her sleep. This will mark the 2nd time in the last 12 months I've taken someone out in a nice restaurant. This is why I can't have nice things.
There's more, I'm sure...but I'm still in freak out mode. And getting my house ready for company mode.
Ugh.
Thursday, November 16, 2006
Sometimes it's really cool to have a frassy grump jazz musician as a friend. I JS.
Fat Kid Midweek'll be playin' the Cedar tonight and oh, wait? Who's on the list? That's right-This guy, right here. (Sorry, Hadda brag for a minnit. It sounds so falutin' when you can say that you're "on the list". All I know is that it means I don't hafta pay. wOOt!)
So if you're in the 7 corners 'hood and wanna see some reeeeeeally good jazz- Here's where ya go:
http://www.thecedar.org/fat_kid_wednesdays
CD Release party, btw. "Seedy Release"...
Fat Kid Midweek'll be playin' the Cedar tonight and oh, wait? Who's on the list? That's right-This guy, right here. (Sorry, Hadda brag for a minnit. It sounds so falutin' when you can say that you're "on the list". All I know is that it means I don't hafta pay. wOOt!)
So if you're in the 7 corners 'hood and wanna see some reeeeeeally good jazz- Here's where ya go:
http://www.thecedar.org/fat_kid_wednesdays
CD Release party, btw. "Seedy Release"...
Tag, You're it!
I come home the other day to a Frassy 'Bean, who informs me that our neighbors discovered graffitti on my garage. Gaaaaang graffitti. So, I call up the Mipples PD "Graffitti Alert Team" (Yes, they have one) report my s#it (Where they ask you ridiculous questions like "What does it say?"/"Well I don't rightly know, ma'am- I'm no symbologist.") and I now have 10 days from today to paint over it.
Sighs...
On the bright side, b/c I have a POS Model T garage I'm less upset than I probably would have been had it been a brand new 3 car garage with an aluminum door. So, if anyone has a new garage lying around somewhere that you aren't using, you let this guy know.
Tuesday, November 14, 2006
Yeah.
I wore it. Shup. Listened to "Hot Schtuff" close to 89 times that morning. Put on a fake tattoo on my "Davids" (Right next to the hip bone. I picked the Chinese kanji for "courage", which I figured I needed.) Got to the theatre. Went over my blocka-blocking. Put everything on. Did some push-ups and sit-ups backstage before going on. Had a mild panic-attack when I thought the saddle bags were, in fact, hanging loo-right as the song started. (They weren't. At least I don't think they were?) Heard one laugh. Threw my clothes off every which ramshackle way they'd go in what I had hoped would be the semblence of rhythm, sultryness, and practiced skill. (I'm laughing at myself for actually writing that last bit)
And that was that.
Quite liberating. Really. I was told later that the dance was "above adequate". One of the follow spot guys said "No one told me what you were doing, so I just kinda went with it." Which I translate into a whirling dervish of a striptease.
The next day I woke up with what felt like a swollen knee, torn groin muscle going down to said knee, frassy neck, and a sore set of teets + arms. (I did a lot of push ups. A lot.) And shit, I wasn't even in a Jiu Jitsu tournament.
One more show to get it right, then it's off to either Holy Land or the Chutney Indian buffet.
And that was that.
Quite liberating. Really. I was told later that the dance was "above adequate". One of the follow spot guys said "No one told me what you were doing, so I just kinda went with it." Which I translate into a whirling dervish of a striptease.
The next day I woke up with what felt like a swollen knee, torn groin muscle going down to said knee, frassy neck, and a sore set of teets + arms. (I did a lot of push ups. A lot.) And shit, I wasn't even in a Jiu Jitsu tournament.
One more show to get it right, then it's off to either Holy Land or the Chutney Indian buffet.
Friday, November 10, 2006
Remind me again...
Why I have a break apart suit hanging by the front door, facing certain death by going onstage in front of a matinee crowd filled with blue hairs, my SO, family etc...in pretty much a degrading pair of leopard print undiepants?
Oh. Right. That obnoxious trait where you imagine yourself as a "hero" that swings in and saves the day when you get a phone call that says "Hey, can you help us out?" Pshaw.
Is it weird that I think doing a show where full on nudity is involved (and part of the story, ala' "Take me Out", "Bug", or "Bent") isn't a big deal, and this show (where I at least have a modicum of coverage) feels kind of weird?
Probably. Meh.
No worries.
ALTHOUGH! It has given rise (heh heh) to a very funny idea for a Christmas Card!
Informal Poll. (GET ON MY INFORMAL POLE!!!!!)
Should my X-mas card be either:
A) Me in the a$$less chaps/cowboy stripper ensemble with a piece of paper held over me bits that says "Happy Holidays!" OR-
B) Me dressed as Santa, fighting a Ninja.
I have a feeling I know who's gonna answer what.
Oh. Right. That obnoxious trait where you imagine yourself as a "hero" that swings in and saves the day when you get a phone call that says "Hey, can you help us out?" Pshaw.
Is it weird that I think doing a show where full on nudity is involved (and part of the story, ala' "Take me Out", "Bug", or "Bent") isn't a big deal, and this show (where I at least have a modicum of coverage) feels kind of weird?
Probably. Meh.
No worries.
ALTHOUGH! It has given rise (heh heh) to a very funny idea for a Christmas Card!
Informal Poll. (GET ON MY INFORMAL POLE!!!!!)
Should my X-mas card be either:
A) Me in the a$$less chaps/cowboy stripper ensemble with a piece of paper held over me bits that says "Happy Holidays!" OR-
B) Me dressed as Santa, fighting a Ninja.
I have a feeling I know who's gonna answer what.
To give you an idea...
Of how fastiduous and ridiculous I am about this Understudy gig, I wanted to print out the music lyrics to the song I'm supposed to disrobe to. It's a cut, see, and like I've been telling folks: as long as I know how much time I have, and at what points I need to take off what-I'll be aces and applesauce. So I'm googling the lyrics and I have a WTF epiphany. Read'em or not, these are lyrics that you'd have been better off hearing the opening riff at a bar (after you 3rd or 4th cocktail) and going "Ahhhhhhhh! C'mon c'mon c'mmm (hic) ON! Isssss thhish shong!"
As a "ps", it was written by Harold Faltermeyer. The genius behind the memorable soundtracks to "Beverly Hills Cop" and "Top Gun". Yeah. Stick with instrumentals and synth's, Harry. These lyrics just ain't poetry. But really, who the fuck am I to judge?
By means of a "PPS". Eddie, the dude I'm understudying (And who after 2 weeks of a run I was hoping would start to sag or get flabby. But Noooooooo. He's still fucking cut. Prick.) told me that the original score for the stripper was just a cheesey vamp. They ki-boshed it in lieu of this lil' ditty.
By means of a "PPPS". If y'all remember the movie, this is the song that's playing in the "unemployment" section when the guys start dancing in line.
By means of a trivial "PPPPS", Prince Charles shot a commercial in England lampooning this very same scene.
HOT STUFF
Sittin' here eatin' my heart out waitin'
Waitin' for some lover to call (This means what now?)
Dialed about a thousand numbers lately
Almost rang the phone off the wall (Time for Internet dating, Donna)
CHORUS:
Lookin' for some hot stuff baby this evenin' (Ever try curry?)
I need some hot stuff baby tonight (Maybe Don Pablo's?)
I want some hot stuff baby this evenin' (okay)
Gotta have some hot stuff (Enough, dammit...we underSTAND!)
Gotta have some lovin' tonight (Ya ever try loving yourself? It's the first road to recovery)
I need hot stuff
I want some hot stuff
I need some hot stuff (Now this is just silly. By this time the listener should be at the store, buying tabasco for this poor woman. Clearly she's capescin deficient)
Lookin' for a lover who needs another
Don't want another night on my own (I may have read this wrong, but does this mean that she wants a 3-some?)
Wanna share my love with a warm blooded lover
Wanna bring a wild man back home (Right. Clearly Donna is tired of sex with reptiles, and has decided that mad hot yeti-sex is the way to go. Beware of mites, Donna. He's been outdoors for a long time)
REPEAT CHORUS
Sittin' here eatin' my heart out, no reason (Wow. This seems so, Aztec, of her)
Won't spend another night on my own (Cooooo-dependency issues.)
I dialed about a hundred numbers baby (A sure path to carpal-tunnel, wait and see)
I'm bound to find somebody home (Well sure. This is about as stupid as finding the weird names in the phone book and calling them. "Hi, is Sam Yang there?"/"No, this is Tim Yang"/"Oops! Looks like I rang the wrong Yang!" Donna Donna Donna. Your childish phone pranks are soooooo 7th grade, and a little bit insensitive. It's time we grew up, don't you think?")
REPEAT CHORUS (fade)
As a "ps", it was written by Harold Faltermeyer. The genius behind the memorable soundtracks to "Beverly Hills Cop" and "Top Gun". Yeah. Stick with instrumentals and synth's, Harry. These lyrics just ain't poetry. But really, who the fuck am I to judge?
By means of a "PPS". Eddie, the dude I'm understudying (And who after 2 weeks of a run I was hoping would start to sag or get flabby. But Noooooooo. He's still fucking cut. Prick.) told me that the original score for the stripper was just a cheesey vamp. They ki-boshed it in lieu of this lil' ditty.
By means of a "PPPS". If y'all remember the movie, this is the song that's playing in the "unemployment" section when the guys start dancing in line.
By means of a trivial "PPPPS", Prince Charles shot a commercial in England lampooning this very same scene.
HOT STUFF
Sittin' here eatin' my heart out waitin'
Waitin' for some lover to call (This means what now?)
Dialed about a thousand numbers lately
Almost rang the phone off the wall (Time for Internet dating, Donna)
CHORUS:
Lookin' for some hot stuff baby this evenin' (Ever try curry?)
I need some hot stuff baby tonight (Maybe Don Pablo's?)
I want some hot stuff baby this evenin' (okay)
Gotta have some hot stuff (Enough, dammit...we underSTAND!)
Gotta have some lovin' tonight (Ya ever try loving yourself? It's the first road to recovery)
I need hot stuff
I want some hot stuff
I need some hot stuff (Now this is just silly. By this time the listener should be at the store, buying tabasco for this poor woman. Clearly she's capescin deficient)
Lookin' for a lover who needs another
Don't want another night on my own (I may have read this wrong, but does this mean that she wants a 3-some?)
Wanna share my love with a warm blooded lover
Wanna bring a wild man back home (Right. Clearly Donna is tired of sex with reptiles, and has decided that mad hot yeti-sex is the way to go. Beware of mites, Donna. He's been outdoors for a long time)
REPEAT CHORUS
Sittin' here eatin' my heart out, no reason (Wow. This seems so, Aztec, of her)
Won't spend another night on my own (Cooooo-dependency issues.)
I dialed about a hundred numbers baby (A sure path to carpal-tunnel, wait and see)
I'm bound to find somebody home (Well sure. This is about as stupid as finding the weird names in the phone book and calling them. "Hi, is Sam Yang there?"/"No, this is Tim Yang"/"Oops! Looks like I rang the wrong Yang!" Donna Donna Donna. Your childish phone pranks are soooooo 7th grade, and a little bit insensitive. It's time we grew up, don't you think?")
REPEAT CHORUS (fade)
Tuesday, November 07, 2006
Surreal, yet still professional
Sooooooooo, I hadda try it on last night. The sock, hammock...(sighs) I'm getting weary just making up names for thong undiepants. In front of two costumer's and a producer, I "practiced" ripping off the breakaway trousers (Get this: They buy a 3-piece gray pinstripe suit from KG and deconstruct it to be "Stripper Ready". Breaks the heart, kind of. Perfectly beautiful 3 piece suit now covered with hidden snaps and velcro.) I then "practiced" putting on the chaps that I'll be wearing for all of 2 minutes of stage time. They're giving me the completed outfit so I can "practice" taking it off at home.
Doesn't that sound suspiciously like those "At home Strip-Aerobics" that Carmen Electra pimped a few years ago? I have no room for a pole in my home. Although a fireman pole would make for a great addition. (Note to self: Consult Home Depot guidebook regarding at-home firemans poles.) Doesn't everybody want to stay in a place like the "Ghostbusters"?
Speaking of lame-ass home workouts...I give you: the Urban Rebounder. ( http://www.urbanrebounding.com/) When the fuck does a mini-trampoline get renamed and pimped on QVC? For tummy exercises I'll LAUD the praises of the exer-ball (Which is, what? A reinforced beach ball) but f#ck a bunch of b#llshit...the only thing mini-tramps are good for was trying to use'em to make dunk-shots on our basketball hoop at home and usually launching ourselves into the pole.
Hey. Maybe Mom and Dad'll let me go to the old place in BeeP's and uproot the basketball pole to make into my fireman pole? Maybe I can do it by this weekend I'll have something to practice my number on....
Oops. That was an out loud comment. But kinda cool how I made this thing come full circle like I did, yeah?
And did you know that "Monty" is now sold out for the entirety of the run? 100%. Even on "Half-priced Hammock" Saturday matinee's I'm doing.
Bring your rubber "coin football". I'm sure all the blue-hairs will.
Doesn't that sound suspiciously like those "At home Strip-Aerobics" that Carmen Electra pimped a few years ago? I have no room for a pole in my home. Although a fireman pole would make for a great addition. (Note to self: Consult Home Depot guidebook regarding at-home firemans poles.) Doesn't everybody want to stay in a place like the "Ghostbusters"?
Speaking of lame-ass home workouts...I give you: the Urban Rebounder. ( http://www.urbanrebounding.com/) When the fuck does a mini-trampoline get renamed and pimped on QVC? For tummy exercises I'll LAUD the praises of the exer-ball (Which is, what? A reinforced beach ball) but f#ck a bunch of b#llshit...the only thing mini-tramps are good for was trying to use'em to make dunk-shots on our basketball hoop at home and usually launching ourselves into the pole.
Hey. Maybe Mom and Dad'll let me go to the old place in BeeP's and uproot the basketball pole to make into my fireman pole? Maybe I can do it by this weekend I'll have something to practice my number on....
Oops. That was an out loud comment. But kinda cool how I made this thing come full circle like I did, yeah?
And did you know that "Monty" is now sold out for the entirety of the run? 100%. Even on "Half-priced Hammock" Saturday matinee's I'm doing.
Bring your rubber "coin football". I'm sure all the blue-hairs will.
Getcher Sticker!
That's right you sexy bitches. You're looking at voter # 291 at the NE Mipples Middle School Media Center/Voting Center! First time registering in my 'hood too! I went there with my lil' Driver's Licsense, and my Lil' Utility bill and did me some voting! It's weird, but every time I remember voting I always feel really really good when I leave. And this time proved to be no exception.
Seriously? Citizens? Get your asses to the polling stations and vote.
Monday, November 06, 2006
'Bean on the Log!
Hey everyone-
Send positive vibes to my roommate, El 'Bean! Today marks his first day departing from the daily grind to pursue full-time acting over the next few months at the Old Blog Theatre. He's duly excited/nervous, and is gonna be focusing his energy into making it a great show!
Quick Quick Quick Re-cappa!
Called in sick on Friday after feeling kind of frassy. The day did wonders for me, as I was able to clean the house top to bottom in what felt like the first time I was able to do so in AGES!
That night Mo-Mo and I saw "Bug" at the Pillsbury House Teatro'. Great play. Amazing, even. The actor's were fearless. So good, and so terrifying it was that I'm gonna give it the "Requiem for a Dream" stamp and say that it's one of the best plays I never want to see again. We hit Preston's afterward for thingytails and frass and I'll just finish my Friday re-cap with this statement: "I hate the Pooost". Really. Free booze? Yeah. Buh-lotto. Thanks for driving Mo-M0. And sorry for locking you out, 'Bean. I'm a tool. (But now we're even...buh-wah-hah-haaaaa!)
Sats was nursing the hangover-iest hangover in hangoversville- After opting out of a matinee of "Borat", I schlepped out for an epic run to sweat the nasty booze toxins out. I futzed through some more errands before hooking up w/Mi-Mo-Sa and heading to Que Viet Village House to further our investigation into trying/supporting local Nordeast Eateries. (Not bad, btw, and reasonably priced. Pork Egg Rolls the size of a bowling pin.) Then it was off to Stipples to wish NicJoy a happy happy b'day where we were entertained by a frassy kitten, a frassy pampie, and a yuge turkey turkey buck buck. (Is it true? Thanksgiving is in how many weeks?)
Home. Then Bed.
Sunds was Fun-ds. After slowly dragging our buns outta bed, we systematically lost several of the individdles who were going to head out to Block E and watch a matinee of "Borat". Still, we made it:
And it was quite possibly one of the funniest fucking movies I've seen in a long time. Go. See. It. If you have any love of satire. Yeah. That's gonna be a blog for another time.
We coffee shopped it @ Diamond's in order to get our rassin' frassin' studying done before heading back to entertain company at mi casa. Mo, Linzie, Ry-Gonn (Who I hadn't seen in, ohhhhhh, two months?) and the 'Bean broke bread together 'round the dinner table...or rather broke sticky rice and Steamed mixed veggies/lo-mein together before heading up to see the most "meh" movie: "The Ringer". Yes, it was a Johnny Knoxville vehicle (Whatever that means) Yes, it was about a guy trying to jerry-rig the Special Olympics by pretending to be developmentally disabled. Yes, we had a few forced guffaws at some of the jokes. Still, meh. About as good as we expected, just not good enough to recommend.
Back at it, Frassers...WORK!
That night Mo-Mo and I saw "Bug" at the Pillsbury House Teatro'. Great play. Amazing, even. The actor's were fearless. So good, and so terrifying it was that I'm gonna give it the "Requiem for a Dream" stamp and say that it's one of the best plays I never want to see again. We hit Preston's afterward for thingytails and frass and I'll just finish my Friday re-cap with this statement: "I hate the Pooost". Really. Free booze? Yeah. Buh-lotto. Thanks for driving Mo-M0. And sorry for locking you out, 'Bean. I'm a tool. (But now we're even...buh-wah-hah-haaaaa!)
Sats was nursing the hangover-iest hangover in hangoversville- After opting out of a matinee of "Borat", I schlepped out for an epic run to sweat the nasty booze toxins out. I futzed through some more errands before hooking up w/Mi-Mo-Sa and heading to Que Viet Village House to further our investigation into trying/supporting local Nordeast Eateries. (Not bad, btw, and reasonably priced. Pork Egg Rolls the size of a bowling pin.) Then it was off to Stipples to wish NicJoy a happy happy b'day where we were entertained by a frassy kitten, a frassy pampie, and a yuge turkey turkey buck buck. (Is it true? Thanksgiving is in how many weeks?)
Home. Then Bed.
Sunds was Fun-ds. After slowly dragging our buns outta bed, we systematically lost several of the individdles who were going to head out to Block E and watch a matinee of "Borat". Still, we made it:
And it was quite possibly one of the funniest fucking movies I've seen in a long time. Go. See. It. If you have any love of satire. Yeah. That's gonna be a blog for another time.
We coffee shopped it @ Diamond's in order to get our rassin' frassin' studying done before heading back to entertain company at mi casa. Mo, Linzie, Ry-Gonn (Who I hadn't seen in, ohhhhhh, two months?) and the 'Bean broke bread together 'round the dinner table...or rather broke sticky rice and Steamed mixed veggies/lo-mein together before heading up to see the most "meh" movie: "The Ringer". Yes, it was a Johnny Knoxville vehicle (Whatever that means) Yes, it was about a guy trying to jerry-rig the Special Olympics by pretending to be developmentally disabled. Yes, we had a few forced guffaws at some of the jokes. Still, meh. About as good as we expected, just not good enough to recommend.
Back at it, Frassers...WORK!
Quick Rant...
b/c it pissed me off. A lot.
My veeeehicle was Christina Aguilera dirty so after getting some petrol at the local station, I opted for a quickski car wash to 86 the accumulating grime. (And the peppering of bird poop that had been speckling my roof for the last week or so.) So we all know that we had some nicer weather this weekend (wOOt) and the sun finally started peeking through the clouds. After gassing up, I noticed a strange whirly pattern that was on the trunk of my car. Upon further inspection, it seemed to take the mysterious shape of a kids tennis shoe. So my gaze travels up to the roof. Now...it was a little hard to tell due to the dust, but it seems that they pulled a half assed parkour and decided to use my car as a part of their race track. 'Kay.
Now, it isn't that I have a grand aesthetic love for my car. Over the past 6 years it's experienced its fair share of dings and bumps. All part of the character. So as long as the kid who was doing the car hopping wasn't a heifer I wasn't too worried. (I've developed a hairline fracture on the windshield after the very first freeze that I hadn't gotten around to replacing in the hoy palloy which was my office move)
Except-
After getting out of the car wash I actually finally notice a very slight indentation. Very. Slight.
It was at that point that I thought if I found those maggot gate mother fuckers in the act of brainless foolishness- they would have been in a world of hurt. Seriously. Iiiiiiiiii, kinda would have wanted to hurt them. No. Yes...really got pissed.
The 'Bean told me that there was an armed robbery recently in my 'Hood which had him a little frassy the other morning. I said that I'd noticed an increase in police patrol, so that they were doing their job by responding to increased levels of that type of criminal activity. You call and report the crimes, you get the 5-0 in your neck of the woods. You leave it be, you let it grow.
And it breaks my heart a little bit. Fah-King kids.
My veeeehicle was Christina Aguilera dirty so after getting some petrol at the local station, I opted for a quickski car wash to 86 the accumulating grime. (And the peppering of bird poop that had been speckling my roof for the last week or so.) So we all know that we had some nicer weather this weekend (wOOt) and the sun finally started peeking through the clouds. After gassing up, I noticed a strange whirly pattern that was on the trunk of my car. Upon further inspection, it seemed to take the mysterious shape of a kids tennis shoe. So my gaze travels up to the roof. Now...it was a little hard to tell due to the dust, but it seems that they pulled a half assed parkour and decided to use my car as a part of their race track. 'Kay.
Now, it isn't that I have a grand aesthetic love for my car. Over the past 6 years it's experienced its fair share of dings and bumps. All part of the character. So as long as the kid who was doing the car hopping wasn't a heifer I wasn't too worried. (I've developed a hairline fracture on the windshield after the very first freeze that I hadn't gotten around to replacing in the hoy palloy which was my office move)
Except-
After getting out of the car wash I actually finally notice a very slight indentation. Very. Slight.
It was at that point that I thought if I found those maggot gate mother fuckers in the act of brainless foolishness- they would have been in a world of hurt. Seriously. Iiiiiiiiii, kinda would have wanted to hurt them. No. Yes...really got pissed.
The 'Bean told me that there was an armed robbery recently in my 'Hood which had him a little frassy the other morning. I said that I'd noticed an increase in police patrol, so that they were doing their job by responding to increased levels of that type of criminal activity. You call and report the crimes, you get the 5-0 in your neck of the woods. You leave it be, you let it grow.
And it breaks my heart a little bit. Fah-King kids.
Saturday, November 04, 2006
This is just not gonna be pretty, is it?
"What size is this, Ed?"
"We got a large"
"Ha! Someone's been telling some exxxxaggerated stories about me, brother"
"Should we get you a medium?"
"Nah. I should be fine so long as the saddle bags don't fall out"
(Ed chuckles)
"So...do I need to try it on?"
"No. Well, did you want to try it on?"
"Ed. If I'm gonna be honest with you, I think I'm gonna wait until the last possible moment to put that fucker on. Pardon my French"
"I don't think that's French. And I understand"
"Thank you Ed. Thank you. Can I take the break away pants off now?"
So am I gonna need to shave my legs? That just seems like it'd be...weird.
Urgh.
Thursday, November 02, 2006
But I don't watch TV...
Give a guy a little facial hair...I'm visiting the Nipple Grove office today. One of our consultants sez "You look kinda like that 'Grey's Anatomy' guy...what's his name? Dempsey?" (Moi- "Riiiiight.")
"I watch that show all the time...dang, which one izzy on the show? McDreamy or McSteamy?"
"Well...if it's me we're talking about I'm going with 'McCreampuff' or 'McMuffin with Cheese'..."
It's that time of year!
That's right campers: FLU SHOT TIME! Which means baby P can whip out some of his all new old cheap and hammy jokes for the Flu Shot nurse and fellow shooters. (I told the nursey that I have the same damn jokes every year and they keep getting funnier)
1- "Is this the victims room?"
2- "Why do we have to wait 10 minutes after our shot again? Is it because of the swine flu? Does that mean I'm gonna sprout a curly tail and root around in a trough?"
3- "Backdoor or the arm?" (In reference to where I was getting shot)
4- "Can my tattoo say 'Mom'?"
5- "I'm afraid you'll have to unwrap another hypo there, lady. You'll probably bend the first needle trying to spike through THESE BAD BOYS!" (Flexes gamely)
6- "Jeezus...they didn't tell me that they were switching to using lumber nails in lieu of needles"
7- "Aren't you supposed to flick it a couple of times to get the air bubble out? I saw that in a movie once..."
8- "AAiiiaiagrrrhrrhgh" (During the shot)
9- "If I find an egg in my toilet bowl, does that mean I have the avian flu?"
10- "You know that these are the same jokes every year, right?" (Her response: "Well, if you only get to use'em once, right?")
So now I've got a sore deltoid for all that frass. The things I do, to prevent the flu.
1- "Is this the victims room?"
2- "Why do we have to wait 10 minutes after our shot again? Is it because of the swine flu? Does that mean I'm gonna sprout a curly tail and root around in a trough?"
3- "Backdoor or the arm?" (In reference to where I was getting shot)
4- "Can my tattoo say 'Mom'?"
5- "I'm afraid you'll have to unwrap another hypo there, lady. You'll probably bend the first needle trying to spike through THESE BAD BOYS!" (Flexes gamely)
6- "Jeezus...they didn't tell me that they were switching to using lumber nails in lieu of needles"
7- "Aren't you supposed to flick it a couple of times to get the air bubble out? I saw that in a movie once..."
8- "AAiiiaiagrrrhrrhgh" (During the shot)
9- "If I find an egg in my toilet bowl, does that mean I have the avian flu?"
10- "You know that these are the same jokes every year, right?" (Her response: "Well, if you only get to use'em once, right?")
So now I've got a sore deltoid for all that frass. The things I do, to prevent the flu.
Wednesday, November 01, 2006
H'ween Post-Mortem
November already? November November. "Remember remember the fifth of November"...which is also Redwright's anniversary. Happy early Anniversary, love!
Okay, making a little too much with the freestyling here.
Sooooo:
Tour season is over, which means I can get my lazy weekends back. Sadly, I'd been so busy lately I hadn't even any time to decorate for the season, or even carve up the two punkin's I bought. (The decorating bit really breaks the heart, readers- Esp. those who recall me frassin' over how much my family used to love to decorate the hell outta our house when RSvP and I were younger. ) This was esp. chagrinning due to the fact that a majority of our old props found their way into my possession (Masks, Skeleton's, strobe lights, etc) and were left unused. In fact, I don't think I've been able to gung-ho decorate for many many years. Boo.
It doubly pained me, since it was also my "late night" at work which meant I was stuck at the office until just after 6pm, missing many of the early tricker treaters. HOWEVER, after picking up some nibbles and rushing home, I was pleasantly surprised when I saw that the 'Bean had gotten into some of the props and set up the skellytons and strobe lights looking out our front window. He encouraged kids to "ring the scary doorbell" every time they knocked instead of buzzing. (It's set to "scary organ/scream". Heh. I know a lotta folks who would scream at my scary organ...HEY OHHHHHH! Go see "Monty")
Mo came over and helped hand out candy to all the buttons who came over, which was funny since the three of us, w/o realizing we did it- ended up making sort of a rotation as to who answered the door. Last call for candy was 8:30pm, and that was that. No fuss, no muss. Another We'en bites the dust. 'Bean and I made a pact that next year we'd slay'em with a hella good display. I may even get me wunna them there new-fangled fog machines.
Can you imagine trying to kink it up in the bedroom with one of those things? Mopeppa and I were frassin about that after unsuccessfully searching for adult baby costumes this weekend at Party City.
"You get a strobe in the bedroom and kick on the fog machine and you'd be like 'Cough-Cough...accckk. Where are you? Marco? Pooooolo! I can't see you to undress you...cough cough..."
And a strobe light would just wind up triggering a seizure in your poor partner, when there you are thinking that you're being all "Mister Perfect-Lover" and sending them into the throes of ecstasy.
What?
I'm just sayin...
Okay, making a little too much with the freestyling here.
Sooooo:
Tour season is over, which means I can get my lazy weekends back. Sadly, I'd been so busy lately I hadn't even any time to decorate for the season, or even carve up the two punkin's I bought. (The decorating bit really breaks the heart, readers- Esp. those who recall me frassin' over how much my family used to love to decorate the hell outta our house when RSvP and I were younger. ) This was esp. chagrinning due to the fact that a majority of our old props found their way into my possession (Masks, Skeleton's, strobe lights, etc) and were left unused. In fact, I don't think I've been able to gung-ho decorate for many many years. Boo.
It doubly pained me, since it was also my "late night" at work which meant I was stuck at the office until just after 6pm, missing many of the early tricker treaters. HOWEVER, after picking up some nibbles and rushing home, I was pleasantly surprised when I saw that the 'Bean had gotten into some of the props and set up the skellytons and strobe lights looking out our front window. He encouraged kids to "ring the scary doorbell" every time they knocked instead of buzzing. (It's set to "scary organ/scream". Heh. I know a lotta folks who would scream at my scary organ...HEY OHHHHHH! Go see "Monty")
Mo came over and helped hand out candy to all the buttons who came over, which was funny since the three of us, w/o realizing we did it- ended up making sort of a rotation as to who answered the door. Last call for candy was 8:30pm, and that was that. No fuss, no muss. Another We'en bites the dust. 'Bean and I made a pact that next year we'd slay'em with a hella good display. I may even get me wunna them there new-fangled fog machines.
Can you imagine trying to kink it up in the bedroom with one of those things? Mopeppa and I were frassin about that after unsuccessfully searching for adult baby costumes this weekend at Party City.
"You get a strobe in the bedroom and kick on the fog machine and you'd be like 'Cough-Cough...accckk. Where are you? Marco? Pooooolo! I can't see you to undress you...cough cough..."
And a strobe light would just wind up triggering a seizure in your poor partner, when there you are thinking that you're being all "Mister Perfect-Lover" and sending them into the throes of ecstasy.
What?
I'm just sayin...
Monday, October 30, 2006
H'weener
I know, I know. If you're a narcissistic dysmorphic why are you posting semi-nude pics? Well I happen to think that 'Bean and Dorajar look cute together and should have their images saved for posterity. (With special attention to their spot on impersonations. You can't see'em, but I helped Bean with his forearms.) The other pic, well...I have no idea.
Come to think of it, that last pic of the three of us looks like a strange version of the pieta.
The Passion of the Diaper.
Sheesh...
It was a busy week last week, frassers. All I can provide is a re-dick re-cap of the weekend events:
Friday. I started my day at 5:30 am and didn't get home until close to 1am after doing 3 tours. I was fucking tired, and amazed that I got through it. Needless to say, the following happened-
I didn't wake up until 11am. Yeah. I stumbled downstairs to a quiet roommate and my karate gear-bag by the front door. The coffee I had pre-set to start brewing at 8am was already off, and cold.
In spite of 3 different parties going on Saturday night, I opted for something different: To stay in. This was important on so many different levels I'd rather not share, but sufficed to say staying in with Dorajar, the 'Bean, and Georgie kitty watching that tripe that was "An American Haunting"* was more important to my mental well-being than I can articulate. Very. Important.
Sunday- The 'Bean raked. I ran errands and studied...(And failed another practice exam, miserably.) After naplets and a wonderful happy hour sushi nibble it was time for the Market.
In spite of not being very keen on "couple" costuming, I acquiesed to the 'Bean and Dorajar's request that we do a group adventure for the Market costume contest. (Mama-san was unable to get the magical spidey suit finished in time. And all of my other choices were just...not fun?) So, we were off to make the world a safer place as Popeye (the 'Bean) Olive (the Mo) and Swee' Pea...(Yours truly. With a truly-truly "thrown together at the last minute" ensemble of a baby bottle, bib, pillow case slash diaper w/pin. Yeah. The when the 'Bean asked me if I was going to "shade in my abs" it made me feel very secure in my lack of clothing. Although, he was ultimately super grateful that I agreed to do it, which kind of...kind of softened self-consciousness)
All told, it was a pretty swell evening. We came in 3rd place in the costume contest, to which the 'Bean swears up and down we were robbed. (LOL). I managed to act/look the fool and try to pick up the Pust which only succeeded in me going down on one knee, cracking it on the floor. Ouch-time. Everyone looked spiff-tacular and I continued my record of being a moronic talky-meat when I go to gatherings and there's too much for my ADHD addled brain to process. (ex: Talking smack about ex's, Singing off-key, frassin too much about how I looked douchey.)
So today...we're at today. Is it after Halloween yet? I have all these props but no time to decorate. (sighs) And that kind of bums me out a little. H'ween used to be a time that my fam would decorate the s#it out of our house. Now the best I can muster is two uncarved pumpkins on my counter-top, and a pair of skeletons which only seem to interest the visiting Mormon's who stopped by last night when we were getting ready. (The 'Bean sure scared 'em off.)
Well, my programmable door bell is set on "Spooky" I guess.
Happy Samhain, y'all!
*I was adding commentary during the entire movie. This was only stopped when Dorajar made a comment that the Bell daughter in the movie was about to get a$$-raped by a ghost. This prompted me to say "Well. There it is. Mo-Mo has officially surpassed me in terms of off-color commentary."
Friday. I started my day at 5:30 am and didn't get home until close to 1am after doing 3 tours. I was fucking tired, and amazed that I got through it. Needless to say, the following happened-
I didn't wake up until 11am. Yeah. I stumbled downstairs to a quiet roommate and my karate gear-bag by the front door. The coffee I had pre-set to start brewing at 8am was already off, and cold.
In spite of 3 different parties going on Saturday night, I opted for something different: To stay in. This was important on so many different levels I'd rather not share, but sufficed to say staying in with Dorajar, the 'Bean, and Georgie kitty watching that tripe that was "An American Haunting"* was more important to my mental well-being than I can articulate. Very. Important.
Sunday- The 'Bean raked. I ran errands and studied...(And failed another practice exam, miserably.) After naplets and a wonderful happy hour sushi nibble it was time for the Market.
In spite of not being very keen on "couple" costuming, I acquiesed to the 'Bean and Dorajar's request that we do a group adventure for the Market costume contest. (Mama-san was unable to get the magical spidey suit finished in time. And all of my other choices were just...not fun?) So, we were off to make the world a safer place as Popeye (the 'Bean) Olive (the Mo) and Swee' Pea...(Yours truly. With a truly-truly "thrown together at the last minute" ensemble of a baby bottle, bib, pillow case slash diaper w/pin. Yeah. The when the 'Bean asked me if I was going to "shade in my abs" it made me feel very secure in my lack of clothing. Although, he was ultimately super grateful that I agreed to do it, which kind of...kind of softened self-consciousness)
All told, it was a pretty swell evening. We came in 3rd place in the costume contest, to which the 'Bean swears up and down we were robbed. (LOL). I managed to act/look the fool and try to pick up the Pust which only succeeded in me going down on one knee, cracking it on the floor. Ouch-time. Everyone looked spiff-tacular and I continued my record of being a moronic talky-meat when I go to gatherings and there's too much for my ADHD addled brain to process. (ex: Talking smack about ex's, Singing off-key, frassin too much about how I looked douchey.)
So today...we're at today. Is it after Halloween yet? I have all these props but no time to decorate. (sighs) And that kind of bums me out a little. H'ween used to be a time that my fam would decorate the s#it out of our house. Now the best I can muster is two uncarved pumpkins on my counter-top, and a pair of skeletons which only seem to interest the visiting Mormon's who stopped by last night when we were getting ready. (The 'Bean sure scared 'em off.)
Well, my programmable door bell is set on "Spooky" I guess.
Happy Samhain, y'all!
*I was adding commentary during the entire movie. This was only stopped when Dorajar made a comment that the Bell daughter in the movie was about to get a$$-raped by a ghost. This prompted me to say "Well. There it is. Mo-Mo has officially surpassed me in terms of off-color commentary."
Friday, October 27, 2006
Here they are...
Anyone in a pressing hurry to see me act like a stripper...like, all, none of you. : (
Saturday November 11th, and Saturday November 18th. 2 pm matinee's.
Good luck with tix. They're fixing to sell out the run- and tickets so far are between 85-90%. Moneymaker. Shake it. Boom chicka rocka chicka rocka chicka-boom.
A$$le$$ chaps. That is all.
ps- I know, you're all like "Ohhhh baby P, you were soooo coy and now you're Mr. Advertisement". Shut the natural hell up. I realized the error of my ways. It's a great show.
pps- "Hal" in TRP's "Loot". Directed by TLC. Good frassin' times.
Saturday November 11th, and Saturday November 18th. 2 pm matinee's.
Good luck with tix. They're fixing to sell out the run- and tickets so far are between 85-90%. Moneymaker. Shake it. Boom chicka rocka chicka rocka chicka-boom.
A$$le$$ chaps. That is all.
ps- I know, you're all like "Ohhhh baby P, you were soooo coy and now you're Mr. Advertisement". Shut the natural hell up. I realized the error of my ways. It's a great show.
pps- "Hal" in TRP's "Loot". Directed by TLC. Good frassin' times.
Thursday, October 26, 2006
What's more important?
Family or theatre?Family wins. Hands down. I love this pic.
(*Taken on 9/30/06- The 2nd to last day of Ren Fest 2006)
Saturday, October 21, 2006
The triumphant return of the banana-hammock...
*Or, "Thank God I didn't buy the thing for one show and I'll have spent the money for 1 lousy gimmick!"
Sometimes there are benefits to being a go-to guy for directors. Usually it comes when you start to feel pretty lousy about not getting cast in a while. Although this gig is...slightly different?
So BCT is doing "The Fuuuuull Monty" and they needing an US. I'm thinking, "okay...they need an understudy. Cool" But no, they need someone to go on for 2 shows. "Okay. Does this mean I'm gonna need to show my dick? It's a thrust stage, right?" This is where the mild panic sets in- Not only am I up to my eyeballs studying for my series license, but I'm gonna have to learn a track/lines/'ography/and music. B@ll$. Flashbacks to 'Schooner at the old HT come to my brain. (For the unitiated, I was called in to US 2 days before they opened. Not US ONE person, but all 5 principle's...riiiiiight. My script looked like I took out multi-color pack of highlighter's and made rainbows on the pages. I panicked NIGHTLY around 6pm on show nights.)
Thankfully, it was for naught. The role is pretty minor in the scope of the run (The stripper who frasses around the "Monty" boys wives while they look on.) but he's in the opening scene. I called the Prod. SM and got an "I love you" before I had even introduced myself which made me feel pretty good. We hashed over the delicate matters of show times, the fact that they are teching next week and that I can watch as many shows as I want to before I'm needed. The biggest (snerk) question I had was "Should I bring my own banana-hammock"? /"Yeeeeeah, why don't you bring it, and we'll see what the costumer has to say. I know you'll be getting break away pants for sure"
These conversations are only a small reason I keep doing theater. I just can't make this shit up.
So yeah. Monty. Stripper. I just got back from karate a few minutes ago, now I'm off to do crunches and jog. Do not ask me to have cake. I'm gonna be frassy about that shit for the next few weeks, yo.
And no, I'm not telling my reader's when I'm going on. The last thing I want is a subversively taken photo of my hammock taken and posted on the internet. That means you, Planet Dan... ; P
Butt-cheek frass
It's kind of cold, or...
Why are we filming on "Hoth"?
(This is an example of the car we filmed in, albeit it was "Gramma's old-couch-Green" but without the smell of menthols. And sans mulleted redneck)
What: 8 hour casino commercial shoot in Bloomington
When: A really cold, cold night in MN.
I want to get my love of commercial and film work out of the way, right away. I. Love. It. Anyone who frasses about live theatre/street work etc...well I understand. I just love being on set, getting frassed over by wardrobe and make-up. Talking to the crew, PA's, and director. I'd like to think I'm getting better at not asking the other actors/crew about gigs, projects, and shit. Actually, I felt pretty fucking good about asking that we all sit together instead of all over. Finding out the cities that everyone lives. (Even though JC laughed and called Saint Paul "Shelbyville"...that almost knocked me off the table it was so funny) Talking about life, and not the job. You know, it's such a different animal than theater and it's way too much fun for me. That said, I'm gonna focus on some of the frassy aspects of the night that did not diminish our fun, but make good fodder for blogstuff:
Show-up, get made up. Even though I brought some wardrobe the director and costumer wanted me in something different. They settled on a cowboy shirt and collegy baseball under jersey. Very, thin, layers. I frass with the makeup guy (CeeB's, who did a bang up job recently on "Requiem" and was an Ass. Prod of that indie gamer movie "Midnight". Cool thing? He told me he'd call me if he needs any other talent. Le. Woot. Althought the current cast is epic in scope and a veritable phone directory of the professional theatre talent currently working in the t.c.)
Pogmyster and I are the "backseat" guys (shuddup) so we're carted in to film our shit first. I brought my gloves with, thinking that it's gonna be fucking cold eventually so I'd better take precautions. Not so much luck. As we sit in the backseat of the big-ass brougham, and as the camera people frass with cords and batteries and cables that don't work, my feet started to get numb. Pog smartly asks for a "blanket or something" which we get (See? Filmaking magic! To the 'Mad-Sconnie' residents who see this would never guess that this climate-less commercial contained two dudes freezing balls on a leather seat.) Two and a half hours later, we're cut. And rush over to craft services to stand by the portable heater and nibble dried fruit. We're called over after frassin' and shoot some more shit before dinner. We're still freezing. The car is still cold. It's at this point I look outside and the crew is walking around in parka's, hats, gloves, and the wardrobe mistress has a look that says "I'm sorry". They bring over shakeable "warming packs" which we proceed to break open and stuff in our shoes. The shot goes long, as the "Cop" actor who'd "pulled us over" is riffing on what to call us:
"Listen up here Ham-slappers"
"All right Cha-chi, you're in Madison"
"Hey there, Turkey-Lurkeys"
"All right 'amigoooo's'...I got some new for you"
Take after take, we stifled our sniggers.
It went on. After a while we asked the director if we could have a take to "ourselves". So, on the "martini" we get the signal and as dude comes up to the car, we bum-rushed him. Some cop. Poor bastard just ran away. Actually funnier than that, he ran THROUGH the car. Tha's how big that sumbitch was.
Finally, FINALLY we did that cop car POV shot when we heard the last call of "check the gate" and that was that. The costumer informed us that the warming house/changing area had closed for the night so they brought our gear to us so that we could change. Ask me where. That's right, in the middle of the street. At midnight. 34 degree's. Suspiciously, the ass't costumer came sauntering up at the moment we were huddled behind the crew-car dropping trou. Right lady. Thanks for checking on our welfare.
Then it was home, 4 hours of sleep, and another day of days.
The, end.
ps: Dinner was "Vesci0's" Italian. Guys, I refuse to endorse this place. The food was oily-ass. Another thing I could frass about but don't: The one big drawback for baby P on evening/overnight shoots is that you don't have much control over what's being served and it's always late late later than I like to eat. (It's bad for your metabolism to eat late. Whine, I know. When I told the 'Bean what we had, his eye's nearly popped out and he immediately fixed himself some rainbow rotini.)
Friday, October 20, 2006
Brrr...
Cold in the car.
Changed outside in 32 degree weather.
Bum rushed the actor playing the cop.
So...cold. If only I'd have brought a camera on-set for proof...
It's not all glamour. Don't let anyone tell you differently...
More later. Brrrrrr...just getting the feeling back.
Changed outside in 32 degree weather.
Bum rushed the actor playing the cop.
So...cold. If only I'd have brought a camera on-set for proof...
It's not all glamour. Don't let anyone tell you differently...
More later. Brrrrrr...just getting the feeling back.
Wednesday, October 18, 2006
Friday Friday Friday night...
After a full week of frassin', I'm fixing to have a smidgen of down time this weekend. (Which will end up being filled with 'fu and study-frass, of course.) However, far be it from me to pass up a hot ticket- especially one that may end up being FREE! I've had some peep's ask me to let them know when the next FKW show is, so here you go:
"Dosh"- Record release show! This Friday night at the Triple Rock Social Club. With Fat Kid Wednesday's and Fort Wilson Riot. 9pm. Tix are $8 in advance, $10 at the show.
triplerocksocialclub.com/shows/
Apparently Andrew Bird is supposed to make an appearance which is pretty cool (Mo-ma and Broiler have told me that they really dig his music.) AL told me that we're on "The List"* so it seems a hot ticket has been discovered. Le wOOt!
Anyway, if anyone likes progressive jazz and to be able to see one of the TC's best P-jazz trio's perform, here's your chance.
*This is all subject to possibility/speculation. AL told me that he could get us backstage at the last Paul Simon concert since he knew one of the musician's but it didn't pan out. Pray...and I mean pray...that this doesn't happen. I really would like a night of letting music take me somewhere...
Back to studying.
"Dosh"- Record release show! This Friday night at the Triple Rock Social Club. With Fat Kid Wednesday's and Fort Wilson Riot. 9pm. Tix are $8 in advance, $10 at the show.
triplerocksocialclub.com/shows/
Apparently Andrew Bird is supposed to make an appearance which is pretty cool (Mo-ma and Broiler have told me that they really dig his music.) AL told me that we're on "The List"* so it seems a hot ticket has been discovered. Le wOOt!
Anyway, if anyone likes progressive jazz and to be able to see one of the TC's best P-jazz trio's perform, here's your chance.
*This is all subject to possibility/speculation. AL told me that he could get us backstage at the last Paul Simon concert since he knew one of the musician's but it didn't pan out. Pray...and I mean pray...that this doesn't happen. I really would like a night of letting music take me somewhere...
Back to studying.
We never talk...*
At some point...we stopped communicating verbally...
It started so innocently. Jellybean moved in. We started getting the feelers as to how each other operated. There was a period of adjustment, to be certain. After all, up until then my only roommates had been RSvP and exes. The 'Bean's daughter manages a local chain coffee house so I've been promised her weekly allotment since neither he nor daughter imbibe the filthy dark roast which many years ago, o'er took my life. If we run out now, this is the type of message that will now fill the dry erase board which resides on my fridge. It's eventually going to get to the point where we cease talking entirely...the walls of my renovated kitchen covered in strange images that only a latter-day Lord Carnovan will be able to decipher. I imagine in several thousand years when all of our homes have been buried by the following civilizations...future archeologists will puzzle over the strange way their ancestor's communicated.
I've established my legacy without even trying. Wait'll they try and figure out what the drawing's I leave when Georgie-kitten barfs all over the rug and I find it in my bare feet, mean.
I.J.S
* When I was in college...I had this gimmick where I would, in order to introduce myself to someone who I had "heard of" or had seen on stage/in class-but never talked to- Well...I'd be next to 'em at a party and say "-------? We, uhhhhh, we never talk anymore..." It's as good of an icebreaker as any.
Today's a.m. dialogue brought to you by the letter "P"
(On my way to series classes this morning, I stop into the local Holiday en route for some OJ, a water bottle, and a low fat blueberry muffin.)
Check out guy- "COG"
Me- "P"
COG- " ' Kay, we got orange juice, water, annnnnd (spying the opaque pastry bag) uhhhh"
P- "Low fat blueberry muffin"
COG- "Right...(Eyeing more carefully) You got one muffin in there orrrr..."
P- "No No. Uno Muff"
P bursts out chortling at his own pseudo-pervy sense of humor. This is what happens on precious little snooze time.
Check out guy- "COG"
Me- "P"
COG- " ' Kay, we got orange juice, water, annnnnd (spying the opaque pastry bag) uhhhh"
P- "Low fat blueberry muffin"
COG- "Right...(Eyeing more carefully) You got one muffin in there orrrr..."
P- "No No. Uno Muff"
P bursts out chortling at his own pseudo-pervy sense of humor. This is what happens on precious little snooze time.
Up...since...4.
Series 6...taking over my life.
I feel like I haven't been "here" in weeks.
It'll feel nice when this is over. 3 days of instructor led class that starts off with "This will probably be one of the hardest examinations you've ever taken. The NASD wants to trick you on the questions. Skimmers? You might want to re-think how you take exams..."Well, that did tons for my confidence.
INO-
Happy Birthday Momma P. Hope you enjoyed your Indian Niblets last night!
(She got a frame with this pic, and the same pose w/ me, age 13...if I had a scanner, I'd scanner in the morning. I'd scanner in the eveeeeening...Anyway. You know)
Friday, October 13, 2006
Baby P and the Cave Troll...
This is a fearful looking me, next to the relief self-portrait image at "Chambers" last night. Even though it's hard to tell, it's actually kind of like a mannequin sticking out of the wall ("It's like Hagrid-sized" said I/"More like a cave troll" said Mags)
Anyway, I don't know what's scarier. The dude, or the hairstyle to the right of the dude. I need a f#cking haircut.
It's just me...
1- Is it odd that I get a little excited when the handicap stall in the men's room is unoccupied?
2-I hate the cold weather. F#ck a bunch of cold.
3-LJ can blow me. I can't read or post there from work anymore. Rassin' Frassin' firewall...(Technically I shouldn't lambast LJ...it's not like it's their firewall.)
4- In a strange turn of events, I landed the casino commercial gig that I'd written off. Just when I was about to write off my commercial career...poof. (Insert the next 2 year not-getting-cast sabbatical here. Not trying to be pessimistic...just relying on historical data yo.)
5- Go MN Wild
6- Yesterday marked my last day working out in Nipple Grove. I packed up a lot, I mean a LOT of shit. No boxes today. Makes me feel like a corporate transient.
7- The number one question asked of me when I said I was moving was: "Oh no...that's so far" (Most of the 'burbies assumed I lived out in the NW Suburbs. The commute, actually, is pretty much the same...just East-ier)
8- Went and saw "Sylvia" last night at the Pantages. If you own or have ever owned a dog you need to see it. FW was HI-larious and it was nice to see what all the fuss was about. They gave him a pair of Moobs
9- Pre show niblets were enjoyed at Conga Latin Bistro...Go if you can. The Arroz con Pollo was heavenly and the empanada's were teh bomb
10- Post show libation's were had at "Chamber's" which just opened up DT. Weird place. She-She, to be certain. (I think the high-falutin' art was a little off-putting.) The wait-staff wore hotsy totsy designer dresses in lieu of your standard crisp white shirt/black trou you often see at She-She digs. Points for attentive and sweet waitstaff and what's probably a cool outdoor area complete with fiery sacrificial centerpiece. (Too windy and cold to enjoy) Points for being able to hang w/The WW's, Mo-peppa, Mags, SSGF SR, and the cast. Points deducted for the atmosphere. I canna describe it. It was, weird? Maybe it was the martini's. Maybe it was the fact that we were sitting at "the little kids table". Maybe it was the big relief portrait that looked like a cave troll from Lord of the Rings was coming out of a wall. Oompa-Loompa creepy.
11- I seriously need a nap.
12- I'm bummed that I won't get to see "X" perform in "Ain't Misbehavin'" tonight.
13- I'm still full from dinner last night and it's almost lunch time. I need my toast though!
I'm gonna stop. 13 on the 13th.
xoxox
2-I hate the cold weather. F#ck a bunch of cold.
3-LJ can blow me. I can't read or post there from work anymore. Rassin' Frassin' firewall...(Technically I shouldn't lambast LJ...it's not like it's their firewall.)
4- In a strange turn of events, I landed the casino commercial gig that I'd written off. Just when I was about to write off my commercial career...poof. (Insert the next 2 year not-getting-cast sabbatical here. Not trying to be pessimistic...just relying on historical data yo.)
5- Go MN Wild
6- Yesterday marked my last day working out in Nipple Grove. I packed up a lot, I mean a LOT of shit. No boxes today. Makes me feel like a corporate transient.
7- The number one question asked of me when I said I was moving was: "Oh no...that's so far" (Most of the 'burbies assumed I lived out in the NW Suburbs. The commute, actually, is pretty much the same...just East-ier)
8- Went and saw "Sylvia" last night at the Pantages. If you own or have ever owned a dog you need to see it. FW was HI-larious and it was nice to see what all the fuss was about. They gave him a pair of Moobs
9- Pre show niblets were enjoyed at Conga Latin Bistro...Go if you can. The Arroz con Pollo was heavenly and the empanada's were teh bomb
10- Post show libation's were had at "Chamber's" which just opened up DT. Weird place. She-She, to be certain. (I think the high-falutin' art was a little off-putting.) The wait-staff wore hotsy totsy designer dresses in lieu of your standard crisp white shirt/black trou you often see at She-She digs. Points for attentive and sweet waitstaff and what's probably a cool outdoor area complete with fiery sacrificial centerpiece. (Too windy and cold to enjoy) Points for being able to hang w/The WW's, Mo-peppa, Mags, SSGF SR, and the cast. Points deducted for the atmosphere. I canna describe it. It was, weird? Maybe it was the martini's. Maybe it was the fact that we were sitting at "the little kids table". Maybe it was the big relief portrait that looked like a cave troll from Lord of the Rings was coming out of a wall. Oompa-Loompa creepy.
11- I seriously need a nap.
12- I'm bummed that I won't get to see "X" perform in "Ain't Misbehavin'" tonight.
13- I'm still full from dinner last night and it's almost lunch time. I need my toast though!
I'm gonna stop. 13 on the 13th.
xoxox
Tuesday, October 10, 2006
Rockin' Rider
Is there any question why I (That is, the "Royal Me") would like Iggy Pop's concert rider? (You know. The thing bands/performers send out to concert venues b4 they show up, asking for cheese plates. Perrier at room temperature. A weimeraner dressed up like Abe Lincoln.)
Read it. Laugh.
http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/1004061iggypop1.html
Read it. Laugh.
http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/1004061iggypop1.html
Fightin' the winter blah's...
And they seem to be winning.
(Photo taken on 8/19. Dorajar's B'day..."day" at Minnehaha Park. 78 degree's and Sunny)
I know I haven't been post-a-saurus rex lately. Last week was sort of a bum week for me. Debbie Downer Douchebag. For starter's- Being w/o my own car for 2 days (And still not fixed) The Full Moon, exhaustion, feeling sickish, not having jogged in too long (Corrected this Sunday, thank you) Panic over tests/routes, Panic over $ (unfounded...but there) bad auditions (Which, surprisingly, I get a callback for. Go fig.) Starting the tours (which always stress me out a little) Cooling weather (Where did my summer go? I have so much more outside I need to finish!) God, I almost went as far as posting a "say something nice about me 'cause I really feel like poo" blog. It accumulated to an uncomfortable point.
And I just ain't that kinda blogger, kittens.
And then I reviewed the weekend and thought to myself: "Shoot. It almost seems the same as last week, you know? Moped and I hit 2 cheapie happy hour after starving ourselves through our respective Friday's. Start at Figlio. Cross to Chino. Have our cheap wine and niblets. Engage in WAY too deep of contemplative conversation. Go home with the intention of taking a quick power nap b4 checking out Oktoberfest- We pass out at 8:30pm. And basically I stayed in bed until 9am the next day. I have become the lamest of lames for the 2nd Friday in a row.
What happened to me? I mean, I'd noticed other people's mood shiftsi. (cough cough...Portana)
But stuff did happen this weekend, yes it did, yes it did. I made the executive decision to-
(A) Accept that Saturdays was going to be close to 80 degrees. And b/c of it prolly being the last nice day of the year- I'm not gonna spend it in the dojo or gym.
(B) I was going to meet some of MeeP's friends who headed up from Lawrence to visit.
(C) We were gonna have brefkist, then check out the Orchard.
(D) I was gonna do the tour with a good attitude brought on by a nice nap.
(E) I was going to listen to AL play some of "The Jazz" at D'Amico Cucina afterwards.
Of course, I have some residual self-loathing at not having worked out or studied. I got over it by the time our food came at Hell's Kitchen (Where you should all. Go. Ralph Steadman art COVERs the walls. Great food. Make reservations) The orchard visit was fine, although brief. (Too many pampies. The lines were too long for the free wine-tasting and we decided that our time would be best spent sitting around my patio- just the 6 of us. Good Times. )
Tour was fine. Cleaned up, headed to D'Amico. Sat down. Nibbled some of the free gourmet chocolate AL hooked us up with. Didn't spend a nickel. Home. Then Bed.
Sunday I set out my "to-do" list: Finish the cedar mulching (check) cover the A/C for winter (Check) bring in the power vac to clean the basement (check)...And I ran. It felt like lightening spiking down my leg (Gotta think about new shoes, again. Frass) But I did run. Oh yes I did.
See, I think it was time for a moment of perspective. I think that"Go Go Go"is fine and all for ekeing every little morsel out of life. I do. But I think that there are merits to being able to sit back and take a deeeeeeep breath...and let out the frass. I was wearing myself out and didn' t even know it.
So, this week good stuff indeed. Dinner with the extended fam tonight. Karate. Working out. Studying. "Sylvia" on Thursday. Toury Tours Frids and Sats.
I'll keep you posted. (No worries if I don't chime in daily.)
Layer's
Name: Harcourt P Parkenfarker-Nelson-Smith-Johnson-Larson
Birthday: My buddy sez I should clam about this, so I’m clamming.
Current Location: Nipple Grove
Hair Color: Dirty Brown
Righty or Lefty: Righty, Kick Lefty.
Zodiac Sign: Capricornicus Pornicus
LAYER TWO: ON THE INSIDE
Your fears: Financial Ruination, Losing My House, Cancer
Your perfect pizza: Luce’ Greek Pizza. Yum-tastic
Goal for future: Get out of debt. Seriously.
LAYER THREE: YESTERDAY, TODAY, TOMORROW:
Your thoughts first waking up: I wonder if I should get up now, or go back to bed. Bed won. Your best physical feature: I have detatched earlobes. (Seriously. I don't see any.)
Your most missed memory: Not missed, but the summer of 1999 was a damn fine summer.
LAYER FOUR: YOUR PICK: Pepsi or Coke: Diet Coke
McDld's or Burger King: BK has the better Grilled Chicken Sammich. Hands down. And Veggie Burgers, Yo.
Single or group dates: Single.
Adidas or Nike: New Balance
Lipton Tea or Nestea: Long Island
Chocolate or vanilla: There’s a time and place for both
Cappuccino or coffee: Coffee. Dark.
LAYER FIVE: DO YOU?
Smoke: I’m smokin’!
Take a shower: I’m a giver not a taker
Think you've been in love: Oh yes. Many times. And it’s fan-fucking-tastic.
Believe in yourself: Not as much as I should.
LAYER SIX: IN THE PAST MONTH
Drank alcohol: Yurp.
Gone to the mall: Nurp.
Been on stage: Yurp.
Eaten Sushi: Oh Yes. Chino Happy Hour people: Cheap, and good.
Been dumped: No
Gone skating: No
Dyed your hair: No
LAYER SEVEN: HAVE YOU EVER:
Played a stripping game: Yup. 1993. After a holiday singing gig. I lost. But the winner was wearing more layers, so I think it was rigged. I’m just glad I was wearing festive holiday skivvies.
Changed who you were to fit in: I’ve tried occasionally when I was younger. I think that plain old flibbertygibbet me is the easiest.
LAYER EIGHT: GETTING OLD:
Age you're hoping to be married: I’m kinda not going to think I’m going to do this for a goodly long while.
LAYER NINE: IN A GIRL/GUY:
Best eye color: Bloodshot or closed.
Best hair color: According to ‘Peppa, apparently I have a penchant for brunettes. Truth is I’ll take what I can get.
Clothing style: Casual to Nakey. Overalls are good. Hip, Urban, Gypsy/Hippy. Just not trendy. Vom.
LAYER TEN: WHAT WERE YOU DOING:
1 MINUTE AGO: This stoopid survey I kiped from my friend.
1 HOUR AGO: Working
1 DAY AGO: See above
1 YEAR AGO:
Wow.
Just getting back from a really lousy Vegas vacation. Finishing my patio. Stubbornly ignoring relationship “red-flags”. Hoping to get out of debt and get married.
LAYER ELEVEN: FINISH THE SENTENCE:
I LOVE: Breakfast
I FEEL: All right.
I HATE: Arrogance. Egocentricism. Judgement. Self-Righteousness. Iceberg Lettuce.
I HIDE: My adult movie collection
I MISS: My friend Ryan. I haven’t seen him a whole heck of a lot lately and this chagrin’s me.
I NEED: A second job.
I WANT: Food
Birthday: My buddy sez I should clam about this, so I’m clamming.
Current Location: Nipple Grove
Hair Color: Dirty Brown
Righty or Lefty: Righty, Kick Lefty.
Zodiac Sign: Capricornicus Pornicus
LAYER TWO: ON THE INSIDE
Your fears: Financial Ruination, Losing My House, Cancer
Your perfect pizza: Luce’ Greek Pizza. Yum-tastic
Goal for future: Get out of debt. Seriously.
LAYER THREE: YESTERDAY, TODAY, TOMORROW:
Your thoughts first waking up: I wonder if I should get up now, or go back to bed. Bed won. Your best physical feature: I have detatched earlobes. (Seriously. I don't see any.)
Your most missed memory: Not missed, but the summer of 1999 was a damn fine summer.
LAYER FOUR: YOUR PICK: Pepsi or Coke: Diet Coke
McDld's or Burger King: BK has the better Grilled Chicken Sammich. Hands down. And Veggie Burgers, Yo.
Single or group dates: Single.
Adidas or Nike: New Balance
Lipton Tea or Nestea: Long Island
Chocolate or vanilla: There’s a time and place for both
Cappuccino or coffee: Coffee. Dark.
LAYER FIVE: DO YOU?
Smoke: I’m smokin’!
Take a shower: I’m a giver not a taker
Think you've been in love: Oh yes. Many times. And it’s fan-fucking-tastic.
Believe in yourself: Not as much as I should.
LAYER SIX: IN THE PAST MONTH
Drank alcohol: Yurp.
Gone to the mall: Nurp.
Been on stage: Yurp.
Eaten Sushi: Oh Yes. Chino Happy Hour people: Cheap, and good.
Been dumped: No
Gone skating: No
Dyed your hair: No
LAYER SEVEN: HAVE YOU EVER:
Played a stripping game: Yup. 1993. After a holiday singing gig. I lost. But the winner was wearing more layers, so I think it was rigged. I’m just glad I was wearing festive holiday skivvies.
Changed who you were to fit in: I’ve tried occasionally when I was younger. I think that plain old flibbertygibbet me is the easiest.
LAYER EIGHT: GETTING OLD:
Age you're hoping to be married: I’m kinda not going to think I’m going to do this for a goodly long while.
LAYER NINE: IN A GIRL/GUY:
Best eye color: Bloodshot or closed.
Best hair color: According to ‘Peppa, apparently I have a penchant for brunettes. Truth is I’ll take what I can get.
Clothing style: Casual to Nakey. Overalls are good. Hip, Urban, Gypsy/Hippy. Just not trendy. Vom.
LAYER TEN: WHAT WERE YOU DOING:
1 MINUTE AGO: This stoopid survey I kiped from my friend.
1 HOUR AGO: Working
1 DAY AGO: See above
1 YEAR AGO:
Wow.
Just getting back from a really lousy Vegas vacation. Finishing my patio. Stubbornly ignoring relationship “red-flags”. Hoping to get out of debt and get married.
LAYER ELEVEN: FINISH THE SENTENCE:
I LOVE: Breakfast
I FEEL: All right.
I HATE: Arrogance. Egocentricism. Judgement. Self-Righteousness. Iceberg Lettuce.
I HIDE: My adult movie collection
I MISS: My friend Ryan. I haven’t seen him a whole heck of a lot lately and this chagrin’s me.
I NEED: A second job.
I WANT: Food
Thursday, October 05, 2006
Die-Uh-Monds
Hey folks-
It's been a v.busy and frassy week so I apologize for not being Posty-McPosterson. Come to think of it, it started on Sunday and in spite of a few brief respites it's kept on being non-stop shite.
However.
I'd like you all to give mad props, love, support, and well wishes to MD, Shinobi-Wan, Matty-Boom Boom, and that hack...Wong. All of whom are going to be compete-abling this Friday and Saturday out in St. Paul at the Diamond National Tournament. I won't be able to attend due to work frass (see above commentary on "Shite Week") but I couldn't let it go by w/o giving these might warriors a shout out. Except Wong. The hack.
In the immortal words of RSvP before my first tournament ever:
"Win"
It's been a v.busy and frassy week so I apologize for not being Posty-McPosterson. Come to think of it, it started on Sunday and in spite of a few brief respites it's kept on being non-stop shite.
However.
I'd like you all to give mad props, love, support, and well wishes to MD, Shinobi-Wan, Matty-Boom Boom, and that hack...Wong. All of whom are going to be compete-abling this Friday and Saturday out in St. Paul at the Diamond National Tournament. I won't be able to attend due to work frass (see above commentary on "Shite Week") but I couldn't let it go by w/o giving these might warriors a shout out. Except Wong. The hack.
In the immortal words of RSvP before my first tournament ever:
"Win"
Monday, October 02, 2006
Clod Pants...
There's a good reason I'm not fighting/forming at Diamonds: I need adult supervision at all times and I'd wind up a hazard to myself more likely than not.
I cut my face while shaving, for example. Most of y'all might say "Hmm, people cut themselves shaving all the time." But no, my readers. I literally "cut my face" while shaving. Don't ask how...I cut my face about a half an inch right below my eye.
So, if you saw it and wonder what happened- there it is.
Just back up my story when I say "What happened? I survived having 75 shuriken thrown at me while fighting off ninja's, THAT's what happened!"
Yeah. Durp durp durp durp. Not to mention the fact that I woke up uber-sore today (Why do my hands hurt? Why does my lower back and ribs hurt?) when I realized that "Oh, right, you were doing your 'Circle Jerk Du Soleil" impressions for Linzie last night on the rope swings in your back yard."
Smart man I am. Grrrreeeat. So instead, I'm thinking I'm gonna be a spectator and provide moral support to MD, Shinobi-wan, and Matty Boom-boom. As for Wong?
That hack can fend for himself. ; )
I cut my face while shaving, for example. Most of y'all might say "Hmm, people cut themselves shaving all the time." But no, my readers. I literally "cut my face" while shaving. Don't ask how...I cut my face about a half an inch right below my eye.
So, if you saw it and wonder what happened- there it is.
Just back up my story when I say "What happened? I survived having 75 shuriken thrown at me while fighting off ninja's, THAT's what happened!"
Yeah. Durp durp durp durp. Not to mention the fact that I woke up uber-sore today (Why do my hands hurt? Why does my lower back and ribs hurt?) when I realized that "Oh, right, you were doing your 'Circle Jerk Du Soleil" impressions for Linzie last night on the rope swings in your back yard."
Smart man I am. Grrrreeeat. So instead, I'm thinking I'm gonna be a spectator and provide moral support to MD, Shinobi-wan, and Matty Boom-boom. As for Wong?
That hack can fend for himself. ; )
Figures...
So whilst "networking" (snerk) at E's b'day I got hooked up with a last-minute movie gig that was shooting on Sunday. They needed dude's who could (or knew how) to fight as the scene they were filming required a modicum of com-bat. Cool. I'm into it. The director called my cell and left the call-time and directions, so everything seemed good to go.
I headed out nice and early in order to check in and see if there were any additional wardrobe choices that may be necessary. I'm trucking along to the shoot, easily winding my way through the freeway on this glorious gorgeous day in our fair capitol city. Still plenty of time. Do de doooooo, exiting...do deee doooooo, taking a right, do dee doooooo, down to one lane, do dee doooooo "WTF ROAD F#CKING CLOSED?!?!?!?!?)
See. There was this foot race* deal going on. Annnnnnnnd as luck would have it, it was blocking the very street I needed to go to. Everyone gridlocked and apparently freaked out. Some people were trying to do U-Turns to get out. Others just sat there...immobile. (Because "Road Closed" actually means "Brain-function Closed" too.) It was almost maudlynn. I waited, watching the clock tick down toward my call time. When I was finally freed, I found the detour sign that I prayed would take me towards my salvation. Well, if by "salvation" you mean a big fucking circle? I was in the promised land. Ohhhh, I let loose a stream of profanity that would've made a sailor blush. Couple that with the fact that the side streets of Stipples, when cars are lining both sides of the street? And that everybody, I mean EVERYbody coming toward me assumed they had the right of way (Seriously, I had to wait for 6...count'em 6 cars to pass by me before I could make any headway. Steam was coming out of my ear canal by this point.) Although I was not to be daunted. I felt that if I can get back on the freeway I could double back and come at the shoot location from the opposite direction. I'd be late, to be certain, but I would make it. That's about the point my "Check Engine" light came on**.
That's right pampies...after a few weeks of relatively frass free driving my car decideds to overheat the tranny again (RsVP will wanna know this next bit) See, when my engine gets hot and the tranny fluid gets to viscous it causes the tranny to slip. So what happens is I could literally floor the gas- The odometer will go up to, Ohhhhhh, 8,000 RPM's (Try revving you car when you're in "Park" until the rev becomes almost uncomfortable to listen to)
And my car won't go over 20 mph. At this point, I was worried about even getting home.
So I pulled over. I didn't have the director's number. I didn't have any #'s. So I called some folks to let'em know where I was and to vent a little (Thanks Mo and FeeJ. I'm a profane douche) I hobbled home, to my roommates eternal glee. For some sick reason, he gets a kick out of seeing me worked up.
I spent the rest of the day frassin' around the house. Getting PJ's finished before having Linzie and Mo-ped over for supper.
And that kids is how a guy who frasses on his blog about his castability has fate conspire against him in an effort to turn me into a homebody. Boo.
* I left early knowing full well that there was a footrace. I had an inkling it might be traffic-y, just not full on blocked off. Every time I tried to cross the street, at every block...Road-Freakin'-Closed. Crumbs.
** This part is funny. I made an appointment to bring my car in 2 weeks ago for this exact same problem. When I brought it to those same guys 5 months ago when I first started having tranny problems they didn't charge me, told me to by some tranny cleaner, and be on my way. Urgh. I'm gonna have to correct there logic this time.
I headed out nice and early in order to check in and see if there were any additional wardrobe choices that may be necessary. I'm trucking along to the shoot, easily winding my way through the freeway on this glorious gorgeous day in our fair capitol city. Still plenty of time. Do de doooooo, exiting...do deee doooooo, taking a right, do dee doooooo, down to one lane, do dee doooooo "WTF ROAD F#CKING CLOSED?!?!?!?!?)
See. There was this foot race* deal going on. Annnnnnnnd as luck would have it, it was blocking the very street I needed to go to. Everyone gridlocked and apparently freaked out. Some people were trying to do U-Turns to get out. Others just sat there...immobile. (Because "Road Closed" actually means "Brain-function Closed" too.) It was almost maudlynn. I waited, watching the clock tick down toward my call time. When I was finally freed, I found the detour sign that I prayed would take me towards my salvation. Well, if by "salvation" you mean a big fucking circle? I was in the promised land. Ohhhh, I let loose a stream of profanity that would've made a sailor blush. Couple that with the fact that the side streets of Stipples, when cars are lining both sides of the street? And that everybody, I mean EVERYbody coming toward me assumed they had the right of way (Seriously, I had to wait for 6...count'em 6 cars to pass by me before I could make any headway. Steam was coming out of my ear canal by this point.) Although I was not to be daunted. I felt that if I can get back on the freeway I could double back and come at the shoot location from the opposite direction. I'd be late, to be certain, but I would make it. That's about the point my "Check Engine" light came on**.
That's right pampies...after a few weeks of relatively frass free driving my car decideds to overheat the tranny again (RsVP will wanna know this next bit) See, when my engine gets hot and the tranny fluid gets to viscous it causes the tranny to slip. So what happens is I could literally floor the gas- The odometer will go up to, Ohhhhhh, 8,000 RPM's (Try revving you car when you're in "Park" until the rev becomes almost uncomfortable to listen to)
And my car won't go over 20 mph. At this point, I was worried about even getting home.
So I pulled over. I didn't have the director's number. I didn't have any #'s. So I called some folks to let'em know where I was and to vent a little (Thanks Mo and FeeJ. I'm a profane douche) I hobbled home, to my roommates eternal glee. For some sick reason, he gets a kick out of seeing me worked up.
I spent the rest of the day frassin' around the house. Getting PJ's finished before having Linzie and Mo-ped over for supper.
And that kids is how a guy who frasses on his blog about his castability has fate conspire against him in an effort to turn me into a homebody. Boo.
* I left early knowing full well that there was a footrace. I had an inkling it might be traffic-y, just not full on blocked off. Every time I tried to cross the street, at every block...Road-Freakin'-Closed. Crumbs.
** This part is funny. I made an appointment to bring my car in 2 weeks ago for this exact same problem. When I brought it to those same guys 5 months ago when I first started having tranny problems they didn't charge me, told me to by some tranny cleaner, and be on my way. Urgh. I'm gonna have to correct there logic this time.
Age is just a number, baby.
Since we were still starving marvin by the end of the day, we ended up grabbing some (wait for it: Chinese vittles. Did y'all ever notice how Chinese food gets kind of a bad rap in the media? In almost every movie, Chinese food presents bad connotations: "Ms. Doubtfire" they show Robin Williams post-divorce dad feeding his kids Chinese Food when it's his "weekend" with them. "Ghostbusters", they're sitting around eating it while discussing clients and the sarcastic comment is made "This magnificent feast represents the last of the petty cash". "A Christmas Story"? When the X-mas bird is destroyed by the Bumpus's hound dogs, they end up at a Chinese Restaurant. Fa-Ra-Ra-Ra-Raaaaaa-rah-rah-rah-rah indeed. It's like you get Chinese Food and automatically you're being denied a decent "home cooked" meal. Fook that. I find the food to be delicious AND nutritious, thank you.)
So, it was Easy E's big kid 40th b'day on Saturday. Congrats, E, and many happy returns. It was a lot of fun to be able to hang out with peep's who I hadn't seen in, ohhhhh, 5 days? (I was typing this thinking that I usually don't get to see a lot of my friends unless it's rushed in a lobby post-show, when I had seen a majority of these folk on Monday night. Not that I'd remember...but then I'm a bad actor-friend.) Frass was made. Niblets were...nibbled. And we tested the limit as to how many peeps can fit on the porch before it became structurally unsound.
Frankly, I'm looking forward to 40. I've said it before and I'll say it again: I don't plan on really hitting my stride until I'm 50-55. I might decide to run a marathon.
Or sit at home with a glass of sherry, reading Yeats or some shit. Yeah. Yeats. That's scholarly.
Oh who am I kidding. It'll wind up being a PBR and the latest nudie mag. Oh who am I kidding. It'll wind up being a glass of orange juice and the August 1981 back issue of P'boy.
So yeah. It was a nice out-pouring of love for the man. I hope I can get some pipples out for my b'day. Last year was...kind of morose? Heh.
Oh, if you want to see pics of the man in his undiepants I think that you can still check'em out the fringefestival website.
IJS
So, it was Easy E's big kid 40th b'day on Saturday. Congrats, E, and many happy returns. It was a lot of fun to be able to hang out with peep's who I hadn't seen in, ohhhhh, 5 days? (I was typing this thinking that I usually don't get to see a lot of my friends unless it's rushed in a lobby post-show, when I had seen a majority of these folk on Monday night. Not that I'd remember...but then I'm a bad actor-friend.) Frass was made. Niblets were...nibbled. And we tested the limit as to how many peeps can fit on the porch before it became structurally unsound.
Frankly, I'm looking forward to 40. I've said it before and I'll say it again: I don't plan on really hitting my stride until I'm 50-55. I might decide to run a marathon.
Or sit at home with a glass of sherry, reading Yeats or some shit. Yeah. Yeats. That's scholarly.
Oh who am I kidding. It'll wind up being a PBR and the latest nudie mag. Oh who am I kidding. It'll wind up being a glass of orange juice and the August 1981 back issue of P'boy.
So yeah. It was a nice out-pouring of love for the man. I hope I can get some pipples out for my b'day. Last year was...kind of morose? Heh.
Oh, if you want to see pics of the man in his undiepants I think that you can still check'em out the fringefestival website.
IJS
What. A. DAY!
Despite a rocky start of guilt on Sats a.m. ('Peppa had a couple of guilt inducing phone calls on her cell for missing the previous evenings activities. This is why I'm selective as to who I give my # to. Fewer callers. Less guilt. I honestly don't mean that, in the sense that I occasionally find myself checking for messages when really, who was I expecting to call me in the first place?) we, despite all that frass the day was go-jus. Sunny. Warm. And the perfectly welcome respite for all the cold and dreariness that comprised the past week.
So, we packed up and headed out to Shakopee in order to enjoy the MuRF!
And enjoy we did...after doing a countdown of rows so we didn't lose our car. Although we did end up walking right past it anyway when we left.
Highlighta's:
Eating-
I don't even think we were inside the gates for more than 3 minutes before the assault of carmelly cinnammony goodness forced us to scout out vittles. The finally tally at the end of day after both of us shared 90% of the goodness- Team M and M: Winners (Chicken Gyro, Spinach Pie, Brat for Mo-seph, Teryaki Chicky boob for Baby P, Underwhelming Chipotle Black Bean Soup in a bread bowl, Cinnamon Apfels and Ice Cream...and a couple of pints of beer/wine. No we 86'd the mead and Turkey Leg. And the Arbor Mist Pinot proved to be a mistake.)
Pics:
There's gonna be a picture that'll wind up being my new icon on myspace/friendster etc. Wait for it. And no, it won't be the one of dorajar pointing to the sheep's balls.
Shoppy-shops:
We didn't buy s#it. I thought we woulda, but nope. I think we made off with some high-powered inscense. Her car smelled like chocolate.
Peeps:
Got to see fairiepainter and got into a sniff-off which was good times, but sadly I missed trevmonster, fireboydan, and fitz. (I looked for the rassin' frassin' cage and everything!) The highlight for us was this little...thing? An 11 year girl who was probably the most unhappy bint we'd ever met. She walked with us through the enchanted forest and was probably our hardest audience ever ("Are you from out of state? You sound like you have an accent."/"NO, I'm from CHASKA!"/"Oh. So you're a Chaskan?"/"NO. I'm from CHASKA!"/"Oh.") We ran away. Screaming meemie chitlin='s a bad sign.
We hit a wall right after the parade, so we spit the bit (But not before heading out to Pee Elle to visit RsVP and his mad scientest wife. We checked out their new deck, I got a carpet, and we saw the nursery. They have a nursery. So strange to me. I'm going to be an uncle.)
Yeah. It was a gorgeous day. Go-Jus. And it marks the last type of summer/early autumn "event" of the year before winter. Oh sure, there's gonna be pumpkin patching...hay riding...and most likely a haunted house.
But where will we get to EAT?
So, we packed up and headed out to Shakopee in order to enjoy the MuRF!
And enjoy we did...after doing a countdown of rows so we didn't lose our car. Although we did end up walking right past it anyway when we left.
Highlighta's:
Eating-
I don't even think we were inside the gates for more than 3 minutes before the assault of carmelly cinnammony goodness forced us to scout out vittles. The finally tally at the end of day after both of us shared 90% of the goodness- Team M and M: Winners (Chicken Gyro, Spinach Pie, Brat for Mo-seph, Teryaki Chicky boob for Baby P, Underwhelming Chipotle Black Bean Soup in a bread bowl, Cinnamon Apfels and Ice Cream...and a couple of pints of beer/wine. No we 86'd the mead and Turkey Leg. And the Arbor Mist Pinot proved to be a mistake.)
Pics:
There's gonna be a picture that'll wind up being my new icon on myspace/friendster etc. Wait for it. And no, it won't be the one of dorajar pointing to the sheep's balls.
Shoppy-shops:
We didn't buy s#it. I thought we woulda, but nope. I think we made off with some high-powered inscense. Her car smelled like chocolate.
Peeps:
Got to see fairiepainter and got into a sniff-off which was good times, but sadly I missed trevmonster, fireboydan, and fitz. (I looked for the rassin' frassin' cage and everything!) The highlight for us was this little...thing? An 11 year girl who was probably the most unhappy bint we'd ever met. She walked with us through the enchanted forest and was probably our hardest audience ever ("Are you from out of state? You sound like you have an accent."/"NO, I'm from CHASKA!"/"Oh. So you're a Chaskan?"/"NO. I'm from CHASKA!"/"Oh.") We ran away. Screaming meemie chitlin='s a bad sign.
We hit a wall right after the parade, so we spit the bit (But not before heading out to Pee Elle to visit RsVP and his mad scientest wife. We checked out their new deck, I got a carpet, and we saw the nursery. They have a nursery. So strange to me. I'm going to be an uncle.)
Yeah. It was a gorgeous day. Go-Jus. And it marks the last type of summer/early autumn "event" of the year before winter. Oh sure, there's gonna be pumpkin patching...hay riding...and most likely a haunted house.
But where will we get to EAT?
Lame. Lame'?
Apologies if I've bored you w/dis story before.
Friday I worked late ('til 6pm) and 'Peppa was gonna come over for some Thai curry goodness. We had planned on hitting Kelly's out in Stipples for a lil' coordinated gathering of buddies. Our RSVP was in. We were committed. We were ready.
After din-din, we still had about 90 minutes to kill, so I suggested a quick power-nap* to help us obtain our second wind before hitting the road. Up the steps we climb, and lay down at approximately 8:45pm.**
Fast forward to 9am.
We're lame as h#ll. And apparently we needed the sleep.
* Yes. By "power nap" I meant "power nap". I reside in the gutter, but that doesn't mean I don't come up for air now and then.
**Granted, we did have a moment of pause around 10:30pm when briefly broke the surface of slumber, both sweating curry and needing to go to the bathroom. We tried moving and realized that it was pointless to try and even get out of bed.
Friday I worked late ('til 6pm) and 'Peppa was gonna come over for some Thai curry goodness. We had planned on hitting Kelly's out in Stipples for a lil' coordinated gathering of buddies. Our RSVP was in. We were committed. We were ready.
After din-din, we still had about 90 minutes to kill, so I suggested a quick power-nap* to help us obtain our second wind before hitting the road. Up the steps we climb, and lay down at approximately 8:45pm.**
Fast forward to 9am.
We're lame as h#ll. And apparently we needed the sleep.
* Yes. By "power nap" I meant "power nap". I reside in the gutter, but that doesn't mean I don't come up for air now and then.
**Granted, we did have a moment of pause around 10:30pm when briefly broke the surface of slumber, both sweating curry and needing to go to the bathroom. We tried moving and realized that it was pointless to try and even get out of bed.
Friday, September 29, 2006
I have a DAY!
Today is the Feast of Michaelmas?!? No wonder I've felt so lethargic!
BOW DOWN AND FEED ME!!!
: P
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Michaelmas
BOW DOWN AND FEED ME!!!
: P
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Michaelmas
Wrong side of the biz-ed...
So, outside of the general malaise/ennui that has sapped my energy post-Ivey's, I've discovered that my overall tolerance level for other people's bologna has fallen considerably.
A generic graphic-
Here's Baby P- : P
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Here's his tolerance. >: 0
Normally, my tolerance for other folks bullshit is high. Water off a ducks back and all. But lately it's been a stew of pi$$ and vinegar that I think has been caused by external stressor's which has had an impact on my frassy mood. (Series 6, Tuesday Hangover, Impending Car repair, Impending site move to Woodfrassy, the anger and insensitivity displayed by peers, Cold-Ass Weather and not being ready for it, work "fires" that need tending and cause me to have to stay later than I normally do and force me to miss my class, coming home just exhAUSted and not having the reserves to even go downstairs and do a couple of crunches. Whine whine whine whine)
I could fill that glass half full. I'm learning fiduciary non-sense. My car does need fixed and it'll be nice not to worry about it. The weather makes for gorgeous leaves. The anger has forced people to recognize there own behavior. Work makes me busy, busy='s fast work day. I'm forcing myself to run through my forms at home and Kil Sim is committed to memory (Albeit- that new bo form'll be a bitch, and it's gonna suck when I have to switch schools to Wdby)
Yessiree...Gotta stay above the turmoil and look for the silver lining, pip-pip, wot-wot, chin-up and a stiff upper...whatever.
So...turning the frass back internally, I'm usually greeted by the smell of fresh brewed coffee at 6am brought about by the coffee auto-timer. Today? I smelled hot water. Turns out I got the coffee maker ready, down to the filter in the basket...I just didn't add any coffee.
It was then, only then, that I realized that today could suspiciously become: One of those days.
Mmmmmmm, boiled water.
Have a great weekend, frassers! Home cooked Thai tonight (Boy, did that Thai Guy freak when he found out he'd be dinner) Followed by finding out where the h#ll all the sites are for the G/G tours (Saint Paul, is still baffling as a mo-fo. I promised I'd be readier this year) followed by Kelly's to say "Hi" to the Gangle-Bangle.
Ren Festing and seeing RSvP and my Seester in Law in the afternoon, followed by "Big Ed" Stroutables B'day. Sunday? No rest for the frassers...I gots some MORE PJ's to do.
XO
A generic graphic-
Here's Baby P- : P
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Here's his tolerance. >: 0
Normally, my tolerance for other folks bullshit is high. Water off a ducks back and all. But lately it's been a stew of pi$$ and vinegar that I think has been caused by external stressor's which has had an impact on my frassy mood. (Series 6, Tuesday Hangover, Impending Car repair, Impending site move to Woodfrassy, the anger and insensitivity displayed by peers, Cold-Ass Weather and not being ready for it, work "fires" that need tending and cause me to have to stay later than I normally do and force me to miss my class, coming home just exhAUSted and not having the reserves to even go downstairs and do a couple of crunches. Whine whine whine whine)
I could fill that glass half full. I'm learning fiduciary non-sense. My car does need fixed and it'll be nice not to worry about it. The weather makes for gorgeous leaves. The anger has forced people to recognize there own behavior. Work makes me busy, busy='s fast work day. I'm forcing myself to run through my forms at home and Kil Sim is committed to memory (Albeit- that new bo form'll be a bitch, and it's gonna suck when I have to switch schools to Wdby)
Yessiree...Gotta stay above the turmoil and look for the silver lining, pip-pip, wot-wot, chin-up and a stiff upper...whatever.
So...turning the frass back internally, I'm usually greeted by the smell of fresh brewed coffee at 6am brought about by the coffee auto-timer. Today? I smelled hot water. Turns out I got the coffee maker ready, down to the filter in the basket...I just didn't add any coffee.
It was then, only then, that I realized that today could suspiciously become: One of those days.
Mmmmmmm, boiled water.
Have a great weekend, frassers! Home cooked Thai tonight (Boy, did that Thai Guy freak when he found out he'd be dinner) Followed by finding out where the h#ll all the sites are for the G/G tours (Saint Paul, is still baffling as a mo-fo. I promised I'd be readier this year) followed by Kelly's to say "Hi" to the Gangle-Bangle.
Ren Festing and seeing RSvP and my Seester in Law in the afternoon, followed by "Big Ed" Stroutables B'day. Sunday? No rest for the frassers...I gots some MORE PJ's to do.
XO
Thursday, September 28, 2006
Seriously...
Anyone wanna take this series test? Anyone? I'm, a little concerned. With all this studying, and now re-working (going over) the routes and sites it's feeling like I'm back in college. Next thing you know I'll be wearing my bathrobe to Thtr 3327 due to staying up until 4am studying neo-classical through realism with a coffee from the Dinkydome in one hand and a backpack in the other...the strange smell of cold pizza from Galooney's wafting off of me.
And I'll re-develop an affinity for Busch Light Draft.
Help.
In other news, and to piggy back on the Mo-peds recent blog. I can TOTALLY tell that winter is here due to the fact that I feel freaking RAVENOUS. I hang a louie from Lowry onto Warshington during my a.m. commute and haaappen to pass a BK on the way. My desire for a Croissanwich is becoming overpowering. And I actually hate those things.
SPEAKING of brefkist (and coffee for that matter) how...LAZY and moreover freaked out as a society have we become that McD's offers to put your cream and sugar into your coffee for you? No no no no no. There is a specific CHEMical formula in creating the perfect Baby P cup of diner/restaurant/coffee shop coffee (MD, I'll break it down for you all scientific like if you want. Let me know if I go too fast, okay?) See, it's kind of like DNA- It's a little different for everyone. Me, if it's a cup-cup? half a cream, two sugars (preferrably raw sugar cane) At Urban Harvest/Audubon typey places? Enough skim to lighten the dark roast and 2-3 real cane sugar (Depending on my mood. Huh? What do you think about THAT McDonalds? Can you guess my mood on any given day I'm frassin' through a drive through after a hangover and I'm fiending for a Sausage McMuffin w/egg? Huh? I didn't think so.)
I mean, seriously. A couple of years back, some douche spills their coffee on themselves causing a lawsuit and a "practical" (snerk) disclaimer on every lid/cup stating a cautionary warning to all ye who sippeth here that thy contents be hot. No. Shit. So NOW they have to offer to mix your shit for you? Is this a "service", bc it seems more patronizing than anything. Will they be serving their sammies in bites sized portions next to prevent choking? French fry bits that dissolve easily in your mouth?
Uh-uh. Don't touch the morning magic, bucko's. That's when I turn into a rassin-frassin' alchemist, dig?
*When I'm at home, I just use fat-free French vanilla creamer. Although my French hasn't improved at all. Where's THAT disclaimer?
And I'll re-develop an affinity for Busch Light Draft.
Help.
In other news, and to piggy back on the Mo-peds recent blog. I can TOTALLY tell that winter is here due to the fact that I feel freaking RAVENOUS. I hang a louie from Lowry onto Warshington during my a.m. commute and haaappen to pass a BK on the way. My desire for a Croissanwich is becoming overpowering. And I actually hate those things.
SPEAKING of brefkist (and coffee for that matter) how...LAZY and moreover freaked out as a society have we become that McD's offers to put your cream and sugar into your coffee for you? No no no no no. There is a specific CHEMical formula in creating the perfect Baby P cup of diner/restaurant/coffee shop coffee (MD, I'll break it down for you all scientific like if you want. Let me know if I go too fast, okay?) See, it's kind of like DNA- It's a little different for everyone. Me, if it's a cup-cup? half a cream, two sugars (preferrably raw sugar cane) At Urban Harvest/Audubon typey places? Enough skim to lighten the dark roast and 2-3 real cane sugar (Depending on my mood. Huh? What do you think about THAT McDonalds? Can you guess my mood on any given day I'm frassin' through a drive through after a hangover and I'm fiending for a Sausage McMuffin w/egg? Huh? I didn't think so.)
I mean, seriously. A couple of years back, some douche spills their coffee on themselves causing a lawsuit and a "practical" (snerk) disclaimer on every lid/cup stating a cautionary warning to all ye who sippeth here that thy contents be hot. No. Shit. So NOW they have to offer to mix your shit for you? Is this a "service", bc it seems more patronizing than anything. Will they be serving their sammies in bites sized portions next to prevent choking? French fry bits that dissolve easily in your mouth?
Uh-uh. Don't touch the morning magic, bucko's. That's when I turn into a rassin-frassin' alchemist, dig?
*When I'm at home, I just use fat-free French vanilla creamer. Although my French hasn't improved at all. Where's THAT disclaimer?
Supernatural sarcasm
So the G and G season is here again and we had our lil' gathering last night to frass over routes/sites/and characters. Muck-Muck, in all his glory starts in right away on the latest ghost story he experienced. (He's about as far away from being a skeptic as you can get. Like, anti-skeptic. All skepticsim is absorbed into his body like a black hole.) The lastest ghostly experience was how he was behind the bar and apparently a spirit came at him. ("Uhhhhh, I HATE it when they walk through you!" Like, you know, they walk through all of us on a daily basis. )
This quirky belief is one of the charming things about 'im and the reason why I consider him a buddy, so I frassed back with my Park Square ghost story from last fall and how ghostly spirits are seemingly impervious to a decent side-kick (Don't ask. I don't know what it was in the lobby, I just know something tripped off my spider-sense and I side-kicked the wall.)
So I when the meeting was over I went to use the loo and I got to thinkin'...always a bad sign. When I started to head out I went over to Muck-Muck and with my most sincere and concerned looking face I said "Dude...there was something f#cked up in there..."/"Really? Whaaaat? Did you see something?"
"Yeah...(Breathes deeply) I was in there...you know...going...and something...a ghostly hand..reached up from the urinal basin...(another breath) and grabbed my dick."
Most folks are sniggering a little at this point.
"Shut up. You saw something in their"
"No no no dorkus. I can't lie. It was me. I was the one who grabbed my own package. Sheeeeeesh"
I don't think we're going to be scheduled to do tours together after this.
This quirky belief is one of the charming things about 'im and the reason why I consider him a buddy, so I frassed back with my Park Square ghost story from last fall and how ghostly spirits are seemingly impervious to a decent side-kick (Don't ask. I don't know what it was in the lobby, I just know something tripped off my spider-sense and I side-kicked the wall.)
So I when the meeting was over I went to use the loo and I got to thinkin'...always a bad sign. When I started to head out I went over to Muck-Muck and with my most sincere and concerned looking face I said "Dude...there was something f#cked up in there..."/"Really? Whaaaat? Did you see something?"
"Yeah...(Breathes deeply) I was in there...you know...going...and something...a ghostly hand..reached up from the urinal basin...(another breath) and grabbed my dick."
Most folks are sniggering a little at this point.
"Shut up. You saw something in their"
"No no no dorkus. I can't lie. It was me. I was the one who grabbed my own package. Sheeeeeesh"
I don't think we're going to be scheduled to do tours together after this.
Wednesday, September 27, 2006
Why does that award look like a $ex toy?
Another year, another Ivey's. Has it already been a year? I remember last year being warmer. Since most of my 4 readers are actor's, I'll skip the pre-requisite dither about "The Ivey Awards are a way of recognizing the rich and colorful palatte which comprises the Twin Cities Theatre Culture". I always have a blastola at these things, and truth is it's about as close to a gussy-up awards ceremony as I'll attend. That, and the fact that I love a party- I'm there.
Although, I had no business being at work yesterday. Why? Welllll, it's a pretty simple formula really:
What does 1 designated driver (Dorajar) 2 flasks (Mine and Mo's) and a frassy ADHD addled dork equal? Tiiiipsy Baby P! (And I'm loathe to type drinking blogs, but this is the party of parties) See, we are smart creatures of nature, we are. We remembered that last year at the after party (And let's face it, the before party.) getting kinda gouged due to the price of drinks- ($9 glasses of Pinot Grigio, I might add). I feel this was semi-remarkable as most of the Ivey attendee's are, in fact, poor actors and usually can get by with paying that amount with a little extra as tip for their entire bar tab at Market. So, flasks were in order. (Very necessary for some....cough cough...of the musical numbers)
Stories...Hmmmm
-When I first spied Mo, she took my breath away. I'd like to inform the fashionista's that I contributed to her earring selection, thank you
-We decided to have Chinese Niblets for dinner. Something novel about two folks in their fineries, hunched over Steamed Chicken and sticky rice.
-Like last year, I ran into RT Rybak before the Ivey's, AGAIN. And I called him "Your Eminence" AGAIN. (A joke I find profoundly funny. It got a chuckle from his grace. He'll remember me someday)
-Sneaking a Ginormous clove of garlic off of X's dinner plate at Palomino b4 hand. Since I get very affectionate on the drink, and if I happened to kiss you good night, and if your eyebrows melted off as a result-Sorry. I have a make-up pencil you can borrow.
-Seeing all my mates gussied up like that warms my heart. Redwright, FeeJ, Red 2, SR, Huge, Duddy, LSA, Adia, Jabas...the list goes on and on...
-Getting huge hugs from people. (And y'all know my feeling on big hugs. Love)
-Melinite looked great, but I kept on with the "Matrix" references when I probably shoulda just STFU
-Running into people who were telling me I need to see their next show.
-Making very sure I told people they look great. (Seriously. I would have kicked myself in my own balls if I had forgotten to tell a single soul. Staring, does not constitute praise)
-Getting a hug from the Old Man, which surprised me. Later in the evening, apparently I grabbed his a$$. At that point, I don't remember how many people I did that too.
-How many people can I possible hug and kiss good-bye? Apparently, a lot
-After Gremlin Theater was announced, whispering into PH's ear "Who the f#ck are those guys?"
-When SR was up on stage saying to my date"Well, it's a good thing she's ugly...sheesh"
-Laughing my a$$ off at the Church Basement Ladies and the Sez She monologue.
-X, Dorajar, and I all taking a loooong solemn pull during the show. You know...
-Screaming when CC won
-After party was much spacier. At least we had the almost the whole of the Crystal Court to move around
-HOWever, $9 Chardonnay? F##k that
-Seeing my super secret crush SF and getting ANOTHER huge hug. For some reason I always think that she won't remember me. ("Why?" sez Mo. "Because she's 12?")
-Convincing a photog from some Twin Cities rag to take a picture of FW and I. AND, thinking the caption in the paper would read "Twin Cities stage veteran FW and some random douchebag enjoy drinks at the post-Ivey's party"
-I probably didn't talk to enough people. Schmooze, network, whatever.
-By the end of the night, that was probably a good thing. I woulda embarrassed the hairy fuck out of myself by saying something untoward, or smacking the Lifetime Award winner's a$$ saying "AttaBOY Tiger!". I would have been sincere and meant it and all...just probably not cricket.
(sighs) Truth is...I'll probably be remembered as the tuxedo'ed guy that chased after the appetizer server's gorging himself on the tartare and cucumber slices, groping everyone and reeking of garlic and Dolce & Gabbana.
So dearest readers who may have also been Ivey attenders- Sorry if I was obnoxious/didn't say good-bye/etc...Crowds and cocktails make for Baby P at his most flibbertygibbeted...
But I love you. And any event that celebrates the wonderful and expansive family that is, in fact, the TC Theatre community is a truly beautiful gathering. And I do mean that.
Now would someone please fucking cast me already? ; P
Although, I had no business being at work yesterday. Why? Welllll, it's a pretty simple formula really:
What does 1 designated driver (Dorajar) 2 flasks (Mine and Mo's) and a frassy ADHD addled dork equal? Tiiiipsy Baby P! (And I'm loathe to type drinking blogs, but this is the party of parties) See, we are smart creatures of nature, we are. We remembered that last year at the after party (And let's face it, the before party.) getting kinda gouged due to the price of drinks- ($9 glasses of Pinot Grigio, I might add). I feel this was semi-remarkable as most of the Ivey attendee's are, in fact, poor actors and usually can get by with paying that amount with a little extra as tip for their entire bar tab at Market. So, flasks were in order. (Very necessary for some....cough cough...of the musical numbers)
Stories...Hmmmm
-When I first spied Mo, she took my breath away. I'd like to inform the fashionista's that I contributed to her earring selection, thank you
-We decided to have Chinese Niblets for dinner. Something novel about two folks in their fineries, hunched over Steamed Chicken and sticky rice.
-Like last year, I ran into RT Rybak before the Ivey's, AGAIN. And I called him "Your Eminence" AGAIN. (A joke I find profoundly funny. It got a chuckle from his grace. He'll remember me someday)
-Sneaking a Ginormous clove of garlic off of X's dinner plate at Palomino b4 hand. Since I get very affectionate on the drink, and if I happened to kiss you good night, and if your eyebrows melted off as a result-Sorry. I have a make-up pencil you can borrow.
-Seeing all my mates gussied up like that warms my heart. Redwright, FeeJ, Red 2, SR, Huge, Duddy, LSA, Adia, Jabas...the list goes on and on...
-Getting huge hugs from people. (And y'all know my feeling on big hugs. Love)
-Melinite looked great, but I kept on with the "Matrix" references when I probably shoulda just STFU
-Running into people who were telling me I need to see their next show.
-Making very sure I told people they look great. (Seriously. I would have kicked myself in my own balls if I had forgotten to tell a single soul. Staring, does not constitute praise)
-Getting a hug from the Old Man, which surprised me. Later in the evening, apparently I grabbed his a$$. At that point, I don't remember how many people I did that too.
-How many people can I possible hug and kiss good-bye? Apparently, a lot
-After Gremlin Theater was announced, whispering into PH's ear "Who the f#ck are those guys?"
-When SR was up on stage saying to my date"Well, it's a good thing she's ugly...sheesh"
-Laughing my a$$ off at the Church Basement Ladies and the Sez She monologue.
-X, Dorajar, and I all taking a loooong solemn pull during the show. You know...
-Screaming when CC won
-After party was much spacier. At least we had the almost the whole of the Crystal Court to move around
-HOWever, $9 Chardonnay? F##k that
-Seeing my super secret crush SF and getting ANOTHER huge hug. For some reason I always think that she won't remember me. ("Why?" sez Mo. "Because she's 12?")
-Convincing a photog from some Twin Cities rag to take a picture of FW and I. AND, thinking the caption in the paper would read "Twin Cities stage veteran FW and some random douchebag enjoy drinks at the post-Ivey's party"
-I probably didn't talk to enough people. Schmooze, network, whatever.
-By the end of the night, that was probably a good thing. I woulda embarrassed the hairy fuck out of myself by saying something untoward, or smacking the Lifetime Award winner's a$$ saying "AttaBOY Tiger!". I would have been sincere and meant it and all...just probably not cricket.
(sighs) Truth is...I'll probably be remembered as the tuxedo'ed guy that chased after the appetizer server's gorging himself on the tartare and cucumber slices, groping everyone and reeking of garlic and Dolce & Gabbana.
So dearest readers who may have also been Ivey attenders- Sorry if I was obnoxious/didn't say good-bye/etc...Crowds and cocktails make for Baby P at his most flibbertygibbeted...
But I love you. And any event that celebrates the wonderful and expansive family that is, in fact, the TC Theatre community is a truly beautiful gathering. And I do mean that.
Now would someone please fucking cast me already? ; P
Cabing!
It's been an age since I've been to a cabin. Cabin parties were a common summer staple from 1991-2000-Trading in my own cabin in Quamba for my friends out in scenic sunny Spooner, WI. A streak of high-maintenence S.O's nearly curbed my inherent enjoyment of getting outside, frassin' in nature. (Camping with Dorajar is literally the first time I'd been tent sleeping in...well, far too long.) So, I was pretty jazzed when I got the invite to head out to a cabin. In my feisty imaginator, I was conjuring images of dirt paths. Graded gravelly dirty roads. ("Take da dirt road" was how we'd describe the turn off to our cabin) and a 1, maybe 2 bedroom shack without running water, hand me down furniture, and space heaters. It would be lucky to have an indoor terlet.
You know. A cabin. Like the one in my brain. Or from my youth. Heck, I even thought that this cabin we were going to was in Wisconsin. (It wasn't)
So after I pestered her for info ("What do we bring, what do we need etc...") and I was told "Just some sheets" I became a little leery. The Boy Scout in me (Yes, I ate a Boy Scout. I was hungry a half hour later.) wants to make sure I've got everything I need and not be stuck in a bad sitch without materials if I can avoid it. So I made certain to ask our hostesses if we needed anything else and once again was assured that no, we didn't need to bring any extra food and that the cabin was actually up Nort' slightly past Mille Lacs*. (WTF, P? How did this conjured image of WI come in to your heid?)
Even though I say this to peeps, I truly need to have a little more faith.
Although, my first clue that things weren't what they were to appear when we met up with our hostesses on the road, following them back to the cabin (Ever notice when you're going to a cabin, ANY cabin- It's always a bastard to find the place? Like a roving fucking speakeasy, they are.) and we took a righty onto a driveway.
What? Do mine eyes deceive? Nope. It's a two strip black top driveway. Annnnd is that a sign saying that "this home is protected by ( ) security system" and is that a gabled roof garage with an additional living quarters for guests? And has this cabin got two bathrooms and a recent variance for a basement? Is that a player piano?
Right. Clearly this was not to be your typical cabin visit. Think that's posh? You shoulda seen the neighbors cabin. Oh, did I say cabin? I meant chalet. Lemme put it to you this way, do y'all remember Kevin Costners cabin in "The Bodyguard"? Right. That's the neighbors.
I gotta tell you though, in spite of not being the "cabin in my brain" we had a great time. Sure, it was rainy and shite, and it wasn't really conducive to campfires and s'mores we were productive in so many other ways. We played us some board games, ate a ridiculously cheap and delicious brefkist at a Diner in Crosby (sidenote: Sliced cheese is the Devil) antiqued until our feet hurt, and headed back for more games and Dinner ala' Moped. Not cowboy chili or hot dogs, but pasta with garlic/tomatoes/Red onions/feta and a side Caesar. Clearly, it was rough.
Sunday we needed to head back relatively early so we said our goodbyes and skedaddled. The drive home was idyllic and beautiful. (The leaves, just outside the TC Metro, are exploding with color. Why do I feel like I haven't seen the leaves change color in over 5 years?)
My family is in the process of re-building the sight of our old cabin for a new fangled model similar to the one we stayed at. While it isn't the same as the old one, it's looking to be a huge improvement.
Roughing it, indeed. ; )
* Creepy, is driving over the roads by Mille Lacs at night, and knowing...knowing that there is a big fucking lake right next to you.
You know. A cabin. Like the one in my brain. Or from my youth. Heck, I even thought that this cabin we were going to was in Wisconsin. (It wasn't)
So after I pestered her for info ("What do we bring, what do we need etc...") and I was told "Just some sheets" I became a little leery. The Boy Scout in me (Yes, I ate a Boy Scout. I was hungry a half hour later.) wants to make sure I've got everything I need and not be stuck in a bad sitch without materials if I can avoid it. So I made certain to ask our hostesses if we needed anything else and once again was assured that no, we didn't need to bring any extra food and that the cabin was actually up Nort' slightly past Mille Lacs*. (WTF, P? How did this conjured image of WI come in to your heid?)
Even though I say this to peeps, I truly need to have a little more faith.
Although, my first clue that things weren't what they were to appear when we met up with our hostesses on the road, following them back to the cabin (Ever notice when you're going to a cabin, ANY cabin- It's always a bastard to find the place? Like a roving fucking speakeasy, they are.) and we took a righty onto a driveway.
What? Do mine eyes deceive? Nope. It's a two strip black top driveway. Annnnd is that a sign saying that "this home is protected by ( ) security system" and is that a gabled roof garage with an additional living quarters for guests? And has this cabin got two bathrooms and a recent variance for a basement? Is that a player piano?
Right. Clearly this was not to be your typical cabin visit. Think that's posh? You shoulda seen the neighbors cabin. Oh, did I say cabin? I meant chalet. Lemme put it to you this way, do y'all remember Kevin Costners cabin in "The Bodyguard"? Right. That's the neighbors.
I gotta tell you though, in spite of not being the "cabin in my brain" we had a great time. Sure, it was rainy and shite, and it wasn't really conducive to campfires and s'mores we were productive in so many other ways. We played us some board games, ate a ridiculously cheap and delicious brefkist at a Diner in Crosby (sidenote: Sliced cheese is the Devil) antiqued until our feet hurt, and headed back for more games and Dinner ala' Moped. Not cowboy chili or hot dogs, but pasta with garlic/tomatoes/Red onions/feta and a side Caesar. Clearly, it was rough.
Sunday we needed to head back relatively early so we said our goodbyes and skedaddled. The drive home was idyllic and beautiful. (The leaves, just outside the TC Metro, are exploding with color. Why do I feel like I haven't seen the leaves change color in over 5 years?)
My family is in the process of re-building the sight of our old cabin for a new fangled model similar to the one we stayed at. While it isn't the same as the old one, it's looking to be a huge improvement.
Roughing it, indeed. ; )
* Creepy, is driving over the roads by Mille Lacs at night, and knowing...knowing that there is a big fucking lake right next to you.
Thursday, September 21, 2006
Too Cool For School...
I just shot a digvid for work on how I "Make it Happen" which may or may not make it onto our website. This is completely stupid of me to start with, but they shot it on a disposable digital video camera. CVS. $20. You shoot. Record. And bring it back to them and they burn it for you. (No clue as to how much that lil' process costs. Hmmmmm)
And I think that that is the coolest frassin' thing. Sheeooot. I'd film the hell out of, well, things.
No I wouldn't. I'd be narcississtic and gross and prolly film myself doing lascivious things to, say, the statue of Mary Tyler Moore Downtown...or one of the Snoopy's in front of the Uptown Diner.
I get excitable about many things. Technology is no exception. Except I'm the biggest luddite in the world.
And I think that that is the coolest frassin' thing. Sheeooot. I'd film the hell out of, well, things.
No I wouldn't. I'd be narcississtic and gross and prolly film myself doing lascivious things to, say, the statue of Mary Tyler Moore Downtown...or one of the Snoopy's in front of the Uptown Diner.
I get excitable about many things. Technology is no exception. Except I'm the biggest luddite in the world.
I got no time to meme...
1. You and Jesus go out to dinner - who pays?
No worries Christ. I’m flush right now, it’s cool. (How can you not wanna buy Hay-zeus dinner. He’d probably just be cool with the bread basket and some water anyway.)
2. You suddenly have to flee the country and adopt an alias. What is it?
Barton Krumcake
3. Pick one state in the U.S. to get rid of permanently?
Delaware. Hi…we’re in Delaware.
4. You wake up as the opposite gender what's the one thing you wanna try?
After waking up, I’d shop for some duds, and enter the workplace as a woman. I’d discover firsthand how gender inequality affects my life. I’d challenge. I’d argue. I’d demand equality. I’d want to make an impression so that in my wake, woman would get more and better opportunities than men. Later, armed with this knowledge, and after returning to my own gender I feel like I would be a more enlightened human being.
Of course all of this would take place after I checked out my naughty bits.
5. Luke Skywalker or Han Solo?
Luke. Jedi’s rule!
6. Toy you always wanted but never got as a child?
GI Joe Aircraft Carrier
7. Top three celebrities you wanna do.
Jennifer Connelly, Natalie Portman (From "Garden State" only), Mo Collins…cause she’s funny and stuff
8. What's an automatic deal breaker in a potential significant other?
I’m not that fussy, but discovering she had a wiener would probably force me to call the whole thing off.
9. What is the last movie you saw that actually scared you?"The Excorcism of Emily Rose" was more disturbing than scary. Otherwise it’d have to be "Ultraviolet". It scares me to think such a toxic wastepile of a film exists.
10. Stupidest thing you've ever said out loud?
Everything. Most folks think I’m a flibbertygibbet hammy talkymeat.
11. You're sentenced to death and it's the morning of your execution, what do you want to eat?Buffet Food and a magnum of wine
12. What's something that most people do that you've never done?
Break my leg jumping on the bandwagon.
13. Before you die you want to go to...?
Everywhere
14. Something you'd really like to do but probably won't ever be able to do?
Be recognized for outstanding achievement in…something. (Comedy or acting would be great. )
15. A wild animal you'd like to have as a pet?
Badger. Badger Badger Badger. Or a panda.
16. What drug will you never try.
Most of them
17. If you were an animal what would you be?
Ooooo, totemistic. A wolf. Always been that way.
18. If you had to marry someone you knew at the age of 12 who would it be?
Probably some cartoon character like "Lady Jane" or "Scarlett" from GI Joe.
19. What's something most people don't know about you?
I love well, deeply, and so hard it hurts.
20. First celebrity crush?Tina Turner I think?
21. What's a weapon to suit your personality, habits and abilities?
Nodachi- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nodachi
23. Favorite breakfast bread style (pancakes, waffles, toast etc...)?
As a kid I would have jumped on the pancake bandwagon. These days its wheat toast, with reduced sugar jelly, or home fries
24. Favorite parody movie?
Waiting for Guffman
25. Worst way to die?
Alone
26. Grossest injury you've ever seen?
There’s some sick s#it on the interweb. And if you’ve ever seen an EMT training guide? Don’t read the chapter on "compound fractures" immediately after dinner. IJS.
27. The worst injury you've ever had?
I have to say out of all of the nicks, cuts, bumps, nosebreaks, hyperextensions I’ve had? I’m gonna say having my heart broken was by far the worst feeling I’ve ever had and I wouldn’t ever wish it on my worst enemy.
28. Favorite thing about thanksgiving?
Being with my family. Annnd gorging myself on white meat turkey, mashies, oyster stuffing, and wine.
29. Sport you hate the most?
I’m no hater, but I’ve always been fascinated by the rabidinous nature of sports fanatics. I take that back. Poker and Golf. Two things I cannot, for the life of me, get into.
30. What city in the U.S. do you want to visit?
San Francisco
31. What's something you think would be sweet to know everything about?
Love and how to spread it so people actually give a shit.
32. Favorite Actor/Actress?
I have a group of favorite everythings, and not just one.
33. What's one phrase you absolutely detest?
I think the dismissive "Whatever" followed by the qualifier "like" are abhorrent. (And even when I write, I include "Like" for the sake of irony.) And not to have a distinct tie in to #27, but "I don’t love you any more" is fairly loathsome.
34. What makes an awesome party?
Frass free (No fights, or people being douchebags). Friends (A must. Who’d invite enemies or douchebags unless you’re planning on their demise. Sick) Fellowship. Food. Liquor. And if I had the capacity, I like being able to supply everything. So folks can just show up, chill, and have a good time.
35. What's your material obsession?
DVD’s and Cologne. If I had the $, I’d have considerably more of these things.
36. What's something most would consider an insult but you like it said about you?
He’s crazy.
37. Favorite kind of dog?
Compact, Mid-sized, not a shedder
38. Favorite carnival food (everyone has one)?
Pronto Pup/Fries/Deep Fried Turkey Sandwich, but ONLY at the State Fair.
39. Morning or night person?
I’m a day person
40. Worst drunken/drugged up habit?
Dominating all conversations, and an overwhelming urge to (A) make everyone laugh and (B) taking my clothes off in order to kick everyone out
41. Weirdest ebay purchase?
Never done it. Amazon, Overstock, yes. But nothing I’d consider "weird"
42. Favorite food to eat when you're wasted?
Wasted. Riiiiight. I want some Frrrrrrench TOAST (Seriously, all you Taco Bellers and White Cassholers take heed: Nothing, and I mean NOTHING can top the joy of a "Tremendous Twelve" at 1:30am)
43. Its Saturday at 3am where are you?
Sleeping
44. Who's your favorite friend to go out with?
Mo. We chill. A good hobby.
45.Worst job you've ever had?
Kitchen Bitch at a Nursing Home. For gross.
46. What's something your friends make fun of you for?
Hammy Flibbertygibbet talkymeat. Waxing Tangential. Dislike of the term "Branch"
47. Favorite cereal?
I’ll pass
48. Book you could read repeatedly?
Just one? Nooooooo!
49. What's the meanest thing you've ever done?
Wheeee! Let’s see: Told a girl I’d slept with on occasion that I was in love with my ex-girlfriend in order to diminish her crush on me. Annnnd backfisted my best friend and nearly broke his glasses when he was made some condescending remarks toward me whilst drunk.
Yup. I’d wager spent the better part of 1997-2000 being recreationally snarky or mean for means sake. (Not always, but that’s how I spent my pre-quarter life crisis) And because of that I made a lot of close friends and random folks feel bad. And that’s kind of why I think folks should maybe put a little thought into what they say before they say it. Words can fuck you up. And being an asshole is not a difficult, coveted, or talented role to play.
Off.
My.
Soapbox.
50. What was your best Halloween costume ever?
Meh. I’m hoping the repeat one I make this year works out all right.
No worries Christ. I’m flush right now, it’s cool. (How can you not wanna buy Hay-zeus dinner. He’d probably just be cool with the bread basket and some water anyway.)
2. You suddenly have to flee the country and adopt an alias. What is it?
Barton Krumcake
3. Pick one state in the U.S. to get rid of permanently?
Delaware. Hi…we’re in Delaware.
4. You wake up as the opposite gender what's the one thing you wanna try?
After waking up, I’d shop for some duds, and enter the workplace as a woman. I’d discover firsthand how gender inequality affects my life. I’d challenge. I’d argue. I’d demand equality. I’d want to make an impression so that in my wake, woman would get more and better opportunities than men. Later, armed with this knowledge, and after returning to my own gender I feel like I would be a more enlightened human being.
Of course all of this would take place after I checked out my naughty bits.
5. Luke Skywalker or Han Solo?
Luke. Jedi’s rule!
6. Toy you always wanted but never got as a child?
GI Joe Aircraft Carrier
7. Top three celebrities you wanna do.
Jennifer Connelly, Natalie Portman (From "Garden State" only), Mo Collins…cause she’s funny and stuff
8. What's an automatic deal breaker in a potential significant other?
I’m not that fussy, but discovering she had a wiener would probably force me to call the whole thing off.
9. What is the last movie you saw that actually scared you?"The Excorcism of Emily Rose" was more disturbing than scary. Otherwise it’d have to be "Ultraviolet". It scares me to think such a toxic wastepile of a film exists.
10. Stupidest thing you've ever said out loud?
Everything. Most folks think I’m a flibbertygibbet hammy talkymeat.
11. You're sentenced to death and it's the morning of your execution, what do you want to eat?Buffet Food and a magnum of wine
12. What's something that most people do that you've never done?
Break my leg jumping on the bandwagon.
13. Before you die you want to go to...?
Everywhere
14. Something you'd really like to do but probably won't ever be able to do?
Be recognized for outstanding achievement in…something. (Comedy or acting would be great. )
15. A wild animal you'd like to have as a pet?
Badger. Badger Badger Badger. Or a panda.
16. What drug will you never try.
Most of them
17. If you were an animal what would you be?
Ooooo, totemistic. A wolf. Always been that way.
18. If you had to marry someone you knew at the age of 12 who would it be?
Probably some cartoon character like "Lady Jane" or "Scarlett" from GI Joe.
19. What's something most people don't know about you?
I love well, deeply, and so hard it hurts.
20. First celebrity crush?Tina Turner I think?
21. What's a weapon to suit your personality, habits and abilities?
Nodachi- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nodachi
23. Favorite breakfast bread style (pancakes, waffles, toast etc...)?
As a kid I would have jumped on the pancake bandwagon. These days its wheat toast, with reduced sugar jelly, or home fries
24. Favorite parody movie?
Waiting for Guffman
25. Worst way to die?
Alone
26. Grossest injury you've ever seen?
There’s some sick s#it on the interweb. And if you’ve ever seen an EMT training guide? Don’t read the chapter on "compound fractures" immediately after dinner. IJS.
27. The worst injury you've ever had?
I have to say out of all of the nicks, cuts, bumps, nosebreaks, hyperextensions I’ve had? I’m gonna say having my heart broken was by far the worst feeling I’ve ever had and I wouldn’t ever wish it on my worst enemy.
28. Favorite thing about thanksgiving?
Being with my family. Annnd gorging myself on white meat turkey, mashies, oyster stuffing, and wine.
29. Sport you hate the most?
I’m no hater, but I’ve always been fascinated by the rabidinous nature of sports fanatics. I take that back. Poker and Golf. Two things I cannot, for the life of me, get into.
30. What city in the U.S. do you want to visit?
San Francisco
31. What's something you think would be sweet to know everything about?
Love and how to spread it so people actually give a shit.
32. Favorite Actor/Actress?
I have a group of favorite everythings, and not just one.
33. What's one phrase you absolutely detest?
I think the dismissive "Whatever" followed by the qualifier "like" are abhorrent. (And even when I write, I include "Like" for the sake of irony.) And not to have a distinct tie in to #27, but "I don’t love you any more" is fairly loathsome.
34. What makes an awesome party?
Frass free (No fights, or people being douchebags). Friends (A must. Who’d invite enemies or douchebags unless you’re planning on their demise. Sick) Fellowship. Food. Liquor. And if I had the capacity, I like being able to supply everything. So folks can just show up, chill, and have a good time.
35. What's your material obsession?
DVD’s and Cologne. If I had the $, I’d have considerably more of these things.
36. What's something most would consider an insult but you like it said about you?
He’s crazy.
37. Favorite kind of dog?
Compact, Mid-sized, not a shedder
38. Favorite carnival food (everyone has one)?
Pronto Pup/Fries/Deep Fried Turkey Sandwich, but ONLY at the State Fair.
39. Morning or night person?
I’m a day person
40. Worst drunken/drugged up habit?
Dominating all conversations, and an overwhelming urge to (A) make everyone laugh and (B) taking my clothes off in order to kick everyone out
41. Weirdest ebay purchase?
Never done it. Amazon, Overstock, yes. But nothing I’d consider "weird"
42. Favorite food to eat when you're wasted?
Wasted. Riiiiight. I want some Frrrrrrench TOAST (Seriously, all you Taco Bellers and White Cassholers take heed: Nothing, and I mean NOTHING can top the joy of a "Tremendous Twelve" at 1:30am)
43. Its Saturday at 3am where are you?
Sleeping
44. Who's your favorite friend to go out with?
Mo. We chill. A good hobby.
45.Worst job you've ever had?
Kitchen Bitch at a Nursing Home. For gross.
46. What's something your friends make fun of you for?
Hammy Flibbertygibbet talkymeat. Waxing Tangential. Dislike of the term "Branch"
47. Favorite cereal?
I’ll pass
48. Book you could read repeatedly?
Just one? Nooooooo!
49. What's the meanest thing you've ever done?
Wheeee! Let’s see: Told a girl I’d slept with on occasion that I was in love with my ex-girlfriend in order to diminish her crush on me. Annnnd backfisted my best friend and nearly broke his glasses when he was made some condescending remarks toward me whilst drunk.
Yup. I’d wager spent the better part of 1997-2000 being recreationally snarky or mean for means sake. (Not always, but that’s how I spent my pre-quarter life crisis) And because of that I made a lot of close friends and random folks feel bad. And that’s kind of why I think folks should maybe put a little thought into what they say before they say it. Words can fuck you up. And being an asshole is not a difficult, coveted, or talented role to play.
Off.
My.
Soapbox.
50. What was your best Halloween costume ever?
Meh. I’m hoping the repeat one I make this year works out all right.
Wednesday, September 20, 2006
*Aught Six Co Pic Brain Dumpski
*That’s short for the "2006 company picnic"…btw
This cold a$$ weather’s making me frassy. I’m still too lazy to dig out my cold weather running gear (Really baby P? Finding an excuse to NOT exercise? Surprise surprise surprise…) and I went into the basement to get my sweater box which only served to depress me more since it’s a gonna be a cold one this year I hear tell (After a succession of warmish winters, we’re due. Newbies to MN…be prepared) so now there’s the arm of a sweater gamely hanging out of the side of the box. I’ll bring ‘em up later.
Today will be a bit of a brain dump so for those so inclined to enjoy tangential rants, take heed for I have news: (And apologize for the slightly misanthropic bent...my brain is full, and hurts)
I’ve got revenge on the people who burn popcorn in the breakroom (Vom) and bring suitcase sized lunchbags that take up valuable fridge space. I put liberal doses of minced garlic in with my soup girthening tomatoes, effectively making the fridge smell-ah-like-ah garlic. Buh-wha-hah-hah…
When will spinach be okay? My soup just isn’t as girthy without it.
The Co-Pic was in Roseville which is cool since it’s only a skip away from mi casa. I went home and changed from work duds into jeans and my "612" hoodie. Still, I was cold. It was cold. Ish-kabibble.
There were door prizes, including a s#it ton of ipods and a plasma tv. I won nothing. Ironically enough, all the "Senior Leader’s" made off with the good stuff. Man. They make the money…why can’t I win? Not even a Vikings baseball hat. Fug.
Someone asked my if my "612" hoodie said "G-12"…"What is that, like, a code or something?" Right. It’s like the G-8 conference, only 25% G-er.
They served Famous Daves ribs and chicken parts. I would’ve been happy if they had chicky boobs and 86’ed the 25 Ipods I didn’t win.
I had two wing type pieces and that was it. Picking off the skin, and trying to get the precious little meat off the bone I received a bevvy of questions from my work mates. "You didn’t get any cole slaw or potato salad?" (No) "Why are you picking the skin off? Oh, that’s right…you’re a vegetarian." (No, I just don’t eat the fatty bits. And I like chicken and fish…I just don’t eat hot dogs, brats, ribs, burger’s, and most red meat is all.) "At all!?!?" (Well, I had a nice piece of ribeye on Sunday) "Don’t you like cole slaw?" (Not really. If they had baked beans I woulda messed those up though) "That’s so weird!" ...I went home and ate a Boca.
It was actually a fairly successful picnic. Folks seemed to have a lot of fun, people were being goofy. Outside of the temperature it was a pretty good time.
Series licensing continues to be a bane. Today we were proctored with an outside SME consultant to discuss terms and theories in the dreaded unit one. This don’t happen to yours truly that often, but wow: Blinding headache. And I have more studying to do yet.
God gets ya: Starving after training, I threw my soup/tomato/garlic mess together and popped it in the ‘wave. My co-worker sidelined me with questions, so I got back in time to stop the ‘wave before boiling my soup to oblivion. Whilst pulling it out, I managed to nearly knock it over (Which woulda made me soupless and caused hella big mess) but my CATLIKE reflexes stopped it from spilling. Not. Before. Some of the contents splashed on my hand. Yes. It burns. Yes. It hurts. Right there in between my thumb and forefinger.
Ivey’s are coming up on Monday. Got my tux (read: Banana Hammock) ready. What? If all goes well, we’ll have a nice group going. Safety in numbers and all that. But, and I’m pretty sure I’m not mistaken, it was actually kind of warm last year wudn’t it?
Rounding back to the cold weather, just standing/sitting around at the Co Pic really drained the s#it out of my energy. Wiped the heck out.
I hope I can get to Fest this year. This weekend is out due to some camping frass.
Ghost and Graves tours are on like Donkey Kong. Pray for good tour partners.
To do’s: Workout, including a jog. Crunches. Fu’. Study.
Good plan, Maynard. Let’s see if you actually capitalize on it.
This cold a$$ weather’s making me frassy. I’m still too lazy to dig out my cold weather running gear (Really baby P? Finding an excuse to NOT exercise? Surprise surprise surprise…) and I went into the basement to get my sweater box which only served to depress me more since it’s a gonna be a cold one this year I hear tell (After a succession of warmish winters, we’re due. Newbies to MN…be prepared) so now there’s the arm of a sweater gamely hanging out of the side of the box. I’ll bring ‘em up later.
Today will be a bit of a brain dump so for those so inclined to enjoy tangential rants, take heed for I have news: (And apologize for the slightly misanthropic bent...my brain is full, and hurts)
I’ve got revenge on the people who burn popcorn in the breakroom (Vom) and bring suitcase sized lunchbags that take up valuable fridge space. I put liberal doses of minced garlic in with my soup girthening tomatoes, effectively making the fridge smell-ah-like-ah garlic. Buh-wha-hah-hah…
When will spinach be okay? My soup just isn’t as girthy without it.
The Co-Pic was in Roseville which is cool since it’s only a skip away from mi casa. I went home and changed from work duds into jeans and my "612" hoodie. Still, I was cold. It was cold. Ish-kabibble.
There were door prizes, including a s#it ton of ipods and a plasma tv. I won nothing. Ironically enough, all the "Senior Leader’s" made off with the good stuff. Man. They make the money…why can’t I win? Not even a Vikings baseball hat. Fug.
Someone asked my if my "612" hoodie said "G-12"…"What is that, like, a code or something?" Right. It’s like the G-8 conference, only 25% G-er.
They served Famous Daves ribs and chicken parts. I would’ve been happy if they had chicky boobs and 86’ed the 25 Ipods I didn’t win.
I had two wing type pieces and that was it. Picking off the skin, and trying to get the precious little meat off the bone I received a bevvy of questions from my work mates. "You didn’t get any cole slaw or potato salad?" (No) "Why are you picking the skin off? Oh, that’s right…you’re a vegetarian." (No, I just don’t eat the fatty bits. And I like chicken and fish…I just don’t eat hot dogs, brats, ribs, burger’s, and most red meat is all.) "At all!?!?" (Well, I had a nice piece of ribeye on Sunday) "Don’t you like cole slaw?" (Not really. If they had baked beans I woulda messed those up though) "That’s so weird!" ...I went home and ate a Boca.
It was actually a fairly successful picnic. Folks seemed to have a lot of fun, people were being goofy. Outside of the temperature it was a pretty good time.
Series licensing continues to be a bane. Today we were proctored with an outside SME consultant to discuss terms and theories in the dreaded unit one. This don’t happen to yours truly that often, but wow: Blinding headache. And I have more studying to do yet.
God gets ya: Starving after training, I threw my soup/tomato/garlic mess together and popped it in the ‘wave. My co-worker sidelined me with questions, so I got back in time to stop the ‘wave before boiling my soup to oblivion. Whilst pulling it out, I managed to nearly knock it over (Which woulda made me soupless and caused hella big mess) but my CATLIKE reflexes stopped it from spilling. Not. Before. Some of the contents splashed on my hand. Yes. It burns. Yes. It hurts. Right there in between my thumb and forefinger.
Ivey’s are coming up on Monday. Got my tux (read: Banana Hammock) ready. What? If all goes well, we’ll have a nice group going. Safety in numbers and all that. But, and I’m pretty sure I’m not mistaken, it was actually kind of warm last year wudn’t it?
Rounding back to the cold weather, just standing/sitting around at the Co Pic really drained the s#it out of my energy. Wiped the heck out.
I hope I can get to Fest this year. This weekend is out due to some camping frass.
Ghost and Graves tours are on like Donkey Kong. Pray for good tour partners.
To do’s: Workout, including a jog. Crunches. Fu’. Study.
Good plan, Maynard. Let’s see if you actually capitalize on it.
Mooooore ME ME!
It's a shorty though, I promise.
1] describe your last kiss?
MiMOsa this morning. I wanted it to linger, she was cold and wanted to get into her car.
2] whose car were you in last?
My own
3] what was the highlight of your weekend?
So many to choose from it’s hard to choose: Fancy Pants dinner with Mo. Seeing "Kid Simple". Chinese niblets, Wine, and "Garden State"? My folks coming over to help install a ceiling fan and saying they liked the house?
I’m gonna go with Sunday night dinner at Redwrights with Mo, Mom, and Dad. Bliss. And awesome vittles. Rocky stayed in the car.
4] what color shirt are you wearing?
Black Kenneth Cole sweater over a white stretchy dress shirt from Express Men. Label, Whore. And what, # 4? You want my pants too? Okay, charcoal gray, fucker. What do you think of that? C’mon! Bring IT!
5] how long is your hair?
Too. Long. It’s gone from rakish mop to freakish fro.
6] how long have you been friends with your best friend (s)?
Adam: 15 years. Steve: 12 years. Ryan: 6 years. RSvP: Life?
7] who's on your mind right now?
Not who, what: Series 6 testing, and feeling like a moron b/c none of the material is sticking.
8] last show you watched?
10 minutes worth of "Kung Fu Hustle"
9] last thing you ate?
Whole wheat toast w/low sugar preserves. Yogurt is next at 10 am. Regimented diet, and anal. You know it.
10] last thing you drank?
Just finished my coffee, and now I’m moving back on to water. I’m craving ice cold cran-raspberry juice tho’…
11] where did you sleep last night?
In my bed
12] do you have a significant other?
Yup. And a few insignificant others to boot.
13] when was the last time you smiled?
When Per-Per sent me a message that said MPR is interviewing a "Sandwich Mogul".
14] what did you say last?
"Aw fuck…another code red?"
15] where is your phone?
On my head.
17] what color are your eyes?
Blue N’ Bloodshot
18] what shoes are you wearing?
Jeez 18, are tag teaming with #4? So unfair. (Black dress lace ups)
19] who came over last? Came over who what?
Mo, I guess?
20] name the last three things you have bought in the past day?
Wine. Diet Coke. My freedom.
21] do you hate anyone at this time?
Nope. It’s more like pity, rather than hate.
22] what are you listening to?
The drone of office banter.
23] what's your favorite scent?
Dolce & Gabbana on moi. Whatever pretty stink on anybody else.
24] what would you like to rid the world of?
Intolerance, Ignorance
25] what was the last drug you took?
Papa took his supplements this a.m., which included some Ibuprofen. I. B. Sore.
26] what was your last good dining out experience?
Friday night with Mo. We had an incredible feast together at Zelo. Flatbread with tomato and prawns for an app.She had the Fusilli Lunghi, and I ended up with Linguini Nero. Tiramisu and coffee for dessert. My only regret is that I didn’t get a bottle of Pinot. (I should have known better)
27] what is your current biggest fear?
The big one is over. Now it’s just staying on top of it. (My car breaking down, come to think of it...)
28] what's your favorite word?
Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanocoliosis.
29] what is your least favorite word?
Cancer and C#nt. And I tell you what folks…I’ve only used the latter once. And it was justified.
30] who makes you the happiest right now?
My family. My friends. The thought of becoming an uncle.
1] describe your last kiss?
MiMOsa this morning. I wanted it to linger, she was cold and wanted to get into her car.
2] whose car were you in last?
My own
3] what was the highlight of your weekend?
So many to choose from it’s hard to choose: Fancy Pants dinner with Mo. Seeing "Kid Simple". Chinese niblets, Wine, and "Garden State"? My folks coming over to help install a ceiling fan and saying they liked the house?
I’m gonna go with Sunday night dinner at Redwrights with Mo, Mom, and Dad. Bliss. And awesome vittles. Rocky stayed in the car.
4] what color shirt are you wearing?
Black Kenneth Cole sweater over a white stretchy dress shirt from Express Men. Label, Whore. And what, # 4? You want my pants too? Okay, charcoal gray, fucker. What do you think of that? C’mon! Bring IT!
5] how long is your hair?
Too. Long. It’s gone from rakish mop to freakish fro.
6] how long have you been friends with your best friend (s)?
Adam: 15 years. Steve: 12 years. Ryan: 6 years. RSvP: Life?
7] who's on your mind right now?
Not who, what: Series 6 testing, and feeling like a moron b/c none of the material is sticking.
8] last show you watched?
10 minutes worth of "Kung Fu Hustle"
9] last thing you ate?
Whole wheat toast w/low sugar preserves. Yogurt is next at 10 am. Regimented diet, and anal. You know it.
10] last thing you drank?
Just finished my coffee, and now I’m moving back on to water. I’m craving ice cold cran-raspberry juice tho’…
11] where did you sleep last night?
In my bed
12] do you have a significant other?
Yup. And a few insignificant others to boot.
13] when was the last time you smiled?
When Per-Per sent me a message that said MPR is interviewing a "Sandwich Mogul".
14] what did you say last?
"Aw fuck…another code red?"
15] where is your phone?
On my head.
17] what color are your eyes?
Blue N’ Bloodshot
18] what shoes are you wearing?
Jeez 18, are tag teaming with #4? So unfair. (Black dress lace ups)
19] who came over last? Came over who what?
Mo, I guess?
20] name the last three things you have bought in the past day?
Wine. Diet Coke. My freedom.
21] do you hate anyone at this time?
Nope. It’s more like pity, rather than hate.
22] what are you listening to?
The drone of office banter.
23] what's your favorite scent?
Dolce & Gabbana on moi. Whatever pretty stink on anybody else.
24] what would you like to rid the world of?
Intolerance, Ignorance
25] what was the last drug you took?
Papa took his supplements this a.m., which included some Ibuprofen. I. B. Sore.
26] what was your last good dining out experience?
Friday night with Mo. We had an incredible feast together at Zelo. Flatbread with tomato and prawns for an app.She had the Fusilli Lunghi, and I ended up with Linguini Nero. Tiramisu and coffee for dessert. My only regret is that I didn’t get a bottle of Pinot. (I should have known better)
27] what is your current biggest fear?
The big one is over. Now it’s just staying on top of it. (My car breaking down, come to think of it...)
28] what's your favorite word?
Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanocoliosis.
29] what is your least favorite word?
Cancer and C#nt. And I tell you what folks…I’ve only used the latter once. And it was justified.
30] who makes you the happiest right now?
My family. My friends. The thought of becoming an uncle.
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