Tuesday, January 31, 2006

Tuesday Quick Hits

You know, ‘cause I gotta do work and stuff too (I just can’t let a day go by, can I? I want you all to take a little P with ya to brighten your day):

1-So I’m checking out Snow Tubing parks for a weekend excursion, and as you know the weather has been really warm lately so I asked the nice lady at tubing park to see if there hills will be open. Our dialogue:

Tube Lady: "We groom every day, so right there you'll have a good 5-6 inches"
P: "Terrific! Well miss- I also, in fact, groom every day...and I can appreciate someone who likes a good 5-6 inches..."

And then she hung up. She must get that a lot.

2-I think that whoever invented the "Ring Top" soup cans for easy opening is a genius. I would pretend to pull the ring and throw it like a grenade except, you know, I’d lose my soup.

3-I’m aware that I have a really bizarre patter/writing style. It makes many, many people frequently say "WTF?" Secretly, I hope it’ll pass off as something resembling charm and wit, causing mad throngs of women to want to throw their underwear at me. Again- "WTF?"

4-Online, and for the record: I really, seriously, thought "Transporter 2" was a boo too disappointment. (Sorry loves. I like the Statham too.) Ask me to elaborate sometime and I will.

5-I cooked up a mess O’ hardboiled eggs the other day. A mess. They turned out pretty well (Shells came off easily, etc…) and lordy knows I need the protein. But MAN, did my house REEK of egg for the rest of the day. My fridge still smells a little sulphury. Ish.

6-Since Sunday? I’ve eaten all the eggs. Well, the whites anyway. My mom would be pissed that I threw out the yolks to the birds. Cool Hand Luke, I ain't...

7-El Paso Black Bean Salsa is the bomb.

8-I asked my Indian co-worker how to say "Safe Travels" in Hindi so I could write something that looked all High-Falutin’ for my friend MD’s trip to India. She looked at me and smiled, and then said "Give me some paper" Still Smiling. She wrote Aapki yaatra sukhad ho. (And: Lil’ pat on the back to me, thanks. According to her I pronounced it "Very Good") Anyway, she kept smiling and I asked if it actually said "safe journeys" and she said "Yes". Well, I can’t say that I 100% believe her. I think it probably says something like "Nice Rack" or "You’ve got a nice dumper" or something crass. She’s sneaky that way.

9-I had a dream the other night that I started an interactive dinner theatre experience in Saint Paul called "We Gotta Porno". Really no explanation needed, since y’all probably get the jist of what it’s about. Anyway, I think if I get it up and running it’ll sell like IHOP pancakes.
It was a really effin’ good dream too. I’m thinking Freud is spinning in his grave over that one.

10- Words that are still pretty gawdamn funny: Choad, Merkin, Muffin Top, Foopa, Hussy, Gonads. (Which is terrible, because it makes me laugh when I see someone type out "Gnocchi")

11- Speaking of terrible word association: A co-worker was eating "Famous Amos" cookies so I walk by his desk and say "Ohhhhh, munching on some ‘Famous Anus" huh?" Miracle. I’ll be unemployed soon.

12-Ooooo- When using the restroom, I hate being relegated to the "shorter" urinal. It makes me feel like Uncle Buck

13- (Last one, I swear) This is terrible. I donated $10 to a raffle for a co-worker whose husband recently passed away due to cancer. I'm happy to donate toward this sort of thing...but I won't lie. I really want to win a digital camera.

Monday, January 30, 2006

A secret

So, y'all know about those anonymous secrets where people leave really f#cked up s#it (ex: "I stick my w#iner in the jello mold when no one is looking" crap like that.)

Well.

I have a confession that I won't even attempt to mask my identity.

Last night when I was fighting here , I was told by several people that "You can tell that you're RsVP's brother by the way you fight" or "Oh, that was totally what RsVP would do" or "Are you going to do that same annoying shit your brother does and sit there and smile?" (Guess who said that, Biggs?)

Now, I respond to this in the same light hearted self-deprecating jokey s#it manner with which I usually treat most of my life. "Noooo, he's a superior martial artist" or "Whatever, if he here's that he'll kill me". I used to think that I wanted to carve my own niche' as a martial artist, y'know? Bro is good at fighting. Maybe I'd be really good at forms, or doing jump spinny flippy kind of stuff.

Here's the secret:

Really? Really-Really? I think that it is pretty fucking cool that they see that. 'Cause I happen to think that means that I had one of the best fucking teacher/mentor/senbei's around. And the bits and pieces of advice here and there pop out when I'm fighting. Even after not having fought in ages.

Or maybe I'm really delusional.

Jump reverse side-kick, btw. I caught a coupla peeps w/it.

Mr. K said "Yeah...that's an RsVp thing to do."

Domo, Biggs.

Friday Fog, and Yawn-i

Fallen Balls I’m tired! Really Really Really tired. Really. It doesn’t help that my body lacks the capacity to "sleep in" effectively halting any chance of recovering sleep. Even if I come home around 4am. No lie. The brain and bod says "GO TIME" and it’s up and at’em. Granted, my faculties don’t return until I’ve had that 1st cuppa delightful java. (And, there is the fact that I’m not the prettiest man lounging around in my Spiderman Undies and bathrobe. I take that back. That is, in fact, when I am sexiest. Boo-yah.) So, because this weekend was allllmost epic in it’s telling, I’m finna break it up like this: 3 part harmony.

I guess my tale starts Friday with a fantastic production of "Ghosts". Now, my open disclaimer is that I’m not a ginormous fan of Ibsen (Blame my theater history 3713 prof for making it the driest part of lecture. Would it have killed him to give Ibby-Ibby buck buck a little moisture?) It was fantastic. LSA was my ssDate for the night, and we had a great time "laughing at the stuff no one else thought was funny". Dorajar, DC and the rest of the cast were terrific, and technically the lights and sound kicked all sorts of hard-ace too. What I was presented with was a very intense night of theatre. Loved it.

(Here’s where things get, interesting.) LSA, ES, Kaiser, and I joined the cast next door at Preston’s. After cocktailing for a minute, Dora and I hightailed it to her friends house for a lil’ hoottubbing. (Seemed like a hot ticket. And lord knows I’ve been a sore monkey lately) before ya know it, I’m facing down the high end of (close to) 3 in the a.m. Standing outside with a wet head of hair, (It's a miracle I didn't get sick) And I gots to be at work in 5 hours.

A term I’m fond of is "you danced…now you gotta pay the piper."

So how WAS work you might ask? Read on...

Sats

Sats I worked. Worky worky worky.

And of course, the costume shoppe was a mess w/non-stop customers. Loeverly to deal with when you are boo-too tired. The one highlight came in the form of my friend Ry-Gonn coming in to register his wedding. I’m the, coughcough, Best Man, and was also able to use my pull to give him the PHAT hookup. After getting home and scoring a nap (btw, a tip for my loyal readers? Never call a saucy Brit who’s just stepped out of the shower to answer your call. You’ll get the play by play. Just sayin’) I hit the Pat Show turned out to be a mini-KFH reunion. MD looked hotter n’a biscuit and sported her cute new haircut (Her shower did little to mask the smell of cabbage), and Gabe was just plain effin’ funny. If you see the pic, you can tell how much of an unphotogenic muppet I am. Yes, I’m wearing a tux shirt and jeans. I’m hip like that. And only like that. Pat was HI-larious, the company was killer, and like a lame ass I bolted during intermission. ("whhhhhyyy are you goooooing" Breaks the heart)

It was moving closer to home (Midnightish) and I had the chance to see some more frie.... Let me just stop myself here to describe, the company (who shall remain nameless to protect the innocent) She was wearing the equivalent of a denim napkin as a skirt. (And I thought of the movie "Hot Shots", very briefly, and the dialogue: "Nice Legs"/"Thank You. I just had them lengthened. Now they go all the way up") Pleasant distractions indeed.

Now, I happen to very much enjoy the company I keep. And I happen to think that I have some incredibly beautiful friends.

I happen to know that, again, I di’int get home ‘til wee hours.

At this point, you’re probably saying to yourself a couple of things: "Must be rough" Or "You danced, P….yadda yadda yadda what you said before" or "Lemme tighten the strings on my violin....wanker" Bear in mind, I allow m’self maybe one or two late night excursions a month. I'm a baby, I admit. But doing them Back to Back?

Welllll, let’s just say that I didn’t get up at the crack of Dawn to get humping on the PJ’s like I thought. Check it ouuuuut....

Sunday

Sunday, I was a slow child at play.

I had every intention of getting up at the boot-crack of dawn-priming, painting, and getting DeeT’s room ready for his move in. After a Depot trip to get the Mediterranean Blue paint (Which, btw, took FOREVER to get. 45 minutes to get paint? F##kers! I am an impatient git.) Getting home, Kilz-ing the red s#it (Yeah, fun) Moving furniture, up the ladder down the ladder, out to voice audition, out to the Junction to let MD whomp on me (More on that later), coming home with what felt an awful lot like a broken elbow, back home, to start painting. It just took forever. 1 room. I am just not a paintin’ fool. OH, PLUS the fact that my ex-roommate thought that it was a terrific idea to remove EVERY door upstairs, I had to go down to the basement and get the corresponding door to his bedroom.

I live in an old house. The doors are solid. Solid Oak. And ‘eavy. And I grabbed and carried upstairs 2 of the wrong doors before finally getting the right one. This, btw, is with Mr. Smashy-elbow. I was pi$$y, sore, and tired.

And I looked at the clock and noticed that "Hey…it’s almost 1 am!" GOR-geous. And I got me more painting/detailing to do tonight. Poop.

On a different note: 2 pieces of terrific news.
DeeT’s was cast in "Thoreau". If you’ve never seen ebullient behavior after getting cast, you need to meet my roommate. Congrats DeeTs!
Send "Safe Travel" vibes to my hawt friend MD as she embarks on a 3 week trip to India. Ramble on, sister. And bring me back something…Indian. MD. Huh. Should be more like, "LB". Lucky biiiiiaaaatch!!!

Saturday, January 28, 2006

So...


Not to be wah wah boo-hoo… but I’m kinda thinking this is getting silly. I won’t be "Fence" straddling, as it turns out so I guess I’m going to have a fairly-free Spring after all. (I think that it was probably the nicest "Thanks and Sorry" call I've ever received. It actually made me smile.

For those keeping track: Since September-ish it’ll be (ohhhhh) 4 out of 5 shows that I’ve auditioned for that I haven’t been cast in. This doesn’t bode well. The bad-bodeing is b/c I’m pretty choosy in regards to the gigs I go for, and therefore the impact is greater when I don’t get’em. Make sense? And so far, there ain't much out there that's floating my boat. KFH having a remount soon? Anybody?

Crap.

And other choice swear words.


So I made a little list of things that are happening in my immediate future to look forward to:

A concert tonight. With good people. Always good times.
Registering my best friends wedding. And the fact that after today it’ll be 1 day left at the store.
Getting the house ready. Bi-fold door on the bath, new outlets, paint, and a couple of ceiling fans’ll be nice
Taking stand-up classes with Eug. Okay. I’ll do’em. Fine. Get off my back. Back-getters.
Mixing it up w/MD. My dance card is wiiiiiiide open darlin’. And I have large fists.
Seeing Man O’ LaLunchables. Thanks for taking me, mom and dad. I know it’ll be good.
Getting out of dodge next weekend. Even for a day. The company will be worth it.
Urban Harvest coffee. There is love in it, or roofies. I can’t be sure.

Have a good weekend peeps. I’ll post my "Ghosts" review later. It was good. And the statue of Ibsen does, in fact, look like he grew a pair of balls out of the side of his face.

I’m 12 years old. Deal.

Friday, January 27, 2006

Happy Friday Frass...

'Kay.

So, I get up allll early and stuff thinking "Hmmmm, since I have to work all day tomorrow doing OT- I might as well leave a little early today"

I figure I'd leave at 3pm, thereby giving me sufficient time to go home, nap, workout, and get to see "Ghosts" in plenty of time.

So I'm here by, oh, 6-6:15am. In Woodbury. Knowing I'm going to have to run back to the Grove that is Maple, 37 miles away.

When I get an email saying that I'm the "closer"tonight, soooo I get to stay until 6pm.
Closer, means "Loser" with a "C".

Six until Six. I am that guy. I want to see if I can pawn it off on my co-worker, the chubby sergeant. Lord. I think I won't make it.

Meaning I will look all sexy and unslept when I see the show tonight.
Which means no "chub-burning" jog.
Ugh.
Which means, no matter how late you stay...keep me occupied. Lest I be found here covered in cobwebs...Shoot. I may as well spend the night here since I have to be back in the a.m.

This seems like so much of a Debbie Downer blog, so I'll try to lighten it up with something:

Twinkies have an actual shelf life of around 37 days. (Unlike the urban legend of, Ohhhh, 100 years.)

Which doesn't matter 'cause I still wouldn't eat the filthy mo-fo.

Ghosts tonight!
Possible Pat Show/Dancing/Big Brother-palooza tomorrow
Sunday is back to what? THAT'S RIGHT loyal readers: HOME PROJECTS (Screaming throngs all stand and rejoice.) I gotta make the new roomies room look all royal and stuff.

'Cause he's a king, baby.

XO

Thursday, January 26, 2006

R.A.O.K

(Random Act of Kindness)

I went for a jog last night right before my callback. As I was heading down 29th (Down the home stretch) I saw a guy who was strug-strug-struggling with a mattress and box-spring. He had one of those TUB’s deals, and couldn’t quite get’em in.

So I helped him. And that felt pretty darn good.

(It reminded me of a story from bible-y nursery school. "God came to earth disguised as a beggar. As he was trying to make his way through the city, he was jostled and accosted and treated very poorly. Finally, one man took pity on him and brought him to his home. The man fed the beggar, allowed him to bathe, and told him that it was all right if he wanted to stay with his family. God revealed himself to the man, and stated that for his generosity he would be allowed a supreme reward. The man told God that the only thing he wanted was to continue doing kind deeds, without knowing he did them. And God thought that this was a pretty good idea." I'm paraphrasing the hell out of that, and I'm sure I've heard it before with a forest witch or a wizard or a lemming, but you get the idea, right? My other favorite was "Talent is God-given...so be humble". So there they are)


The Callback last night went fine. (It wasn't a date exactly, Butterfly Girl. And No, no kissing.) There was a bit of a wait, as they wanted the Shauna’s to go 1st and then the Sams…leaving the Bobby scene’s until the bitter end. Which really wasn’t a huge trip either way. (Only 5 Bobby’s were called back.) AC stopped over to say hey, as did Kaiser who were both upstairs for "12th Angry Night" rehearsals. One great surprise was that my friend Reid who I’d worked with on a couple of MoCW shows was there. A nice guy, he tells me that he’s engaged and flying out to hang with his fiancee’ who’s travelling through Thailand. The ramble strikes again.

Afterwards, I met w/Future roomie ( I wanted a status/welfare check), Tallen, and Redwright over at Prestons. Then Home sweet Home where I talked to Orley for what turned out to be almost 2 hours. (We had a s#itload of catching up to do. It’s been almost 2 years since I’ve seen her! Shoot, she was juuuust starting to be all pregnant N’stuff.) Because I am an agreeable guy, I’ve been invited to Harmony Park for a music festival over Memorial Day (Camping trip.) Huh. And I was told several times that her friend LC was "hilarious". So, behold:

Here is your shout out Paintergirl. Veeno soon.

My bud MD gave me a book report on this wire-fu gig we were invited to. She said it’s pretty cool, so I’m gonna be draggin’ my buns out to Eagan next week to get strapped in and make like Spidey.

Which sounds really feckin’ cool.

Or, you know...shite to put on the rezzie, right?

Countdown: 3 "Knights" left at crappy job # 2. Yee to the Haw, Hillbillies…no more working w/ costumes/formal wear. Or customers.

Blogger!!!!!!!

Frassin' Blogger. Frassin' down!

And here's me with a boat load of commentary.

Like the 3 ladies I caught today wearing Red Shirts and khaki's. Um, like, didn't you get the memo that it was red-shirt "Wednesdays?" Helllooo?

We have new microwaves at work for my soup-cookin'. (The old ones were cracked, and apparently that causes microwave emissions into the room.) I asked the guy replacing them if long enough exposure would give me powers like the Human Torch or (coughcough) "Mr. Fantastic" if youknowwhutI'm sayin'...wink wink? I admired his wise response: "No speake' Englee"...

(Still. To be able to stretch and elongate, you know...any part of your body? Sick.)

So, the new microwaves are these industrial "Turn Dial" so you need to turn the knob to the length of time you want. No biggie, but coming off of the old digital push-button jobbies we had before...shoot, I must have stood there staring at the knobs for at least 5 minutes. "How the fuck am I supposed to...Ohhhhhhh..."

In response to the comment from earlier today "If you love coffee so much, P, why don't you marry it?" I can only say this: Yes, I am in love with coffee, and it's my great pleasure to announce our engagement. I know that it sounds like it may be "too soon"to some of you, but we truly and deeply feel the commitment + dedication that is meant for two beings in love. A Fall wedding is planned. RSVP's can be sent c/o House Blend. Email responses can be CC'd to Sumatra.

Whoooo, a little too much tabasco in the soup today.

Wednesday, January 25, 2006

Easy Peeves

Lots of Peevish Peccadilloes since we're so busy. It's getting frustrating trying to finish any assignments b/c my co-workers keep coming up with questions! Here are some examples of more (little) annoying things that chap my hide. These are closer to P than most, but you’ll get the jist.

Leaving the the grocery store and you’re following someone who has a cart. As soon as they exit (Cub/Rainbow/wherever) they just. STOP. And you nearly pile into them. I call it "State Fair Syndrome". I also call it "annoying". What, do you have a frickin’ shock collar now? Sheesh. MOVE!

The dude in our conservation unit who found out that I’m an actor and now, NOW decides to come over and talk about the show he’s in. And he sings. A lot. Mostly he starts up when he walks by my desk. He looks like a larger version of Tim Curry, which normally would be cool, except this guy doesn’t wash his hands after using the men’s room. Ever. That last part is my biggest peeve.

Commenting on my diet. Please? Sheesh. I eat. I do. I get enough to get by and stay energized and focused. I avoid the superfluous cal’s b/c really? Really. I don’t need’em. FYI:
1 Cup Yogurt, 1 banana, 1 box raisins, 10 pretzel rods, 2 cups of soup, ½ cup of cottage cheese, and a little something else snacky later in the day. It’s good. I don’t feel hungry. And it makes for a cheap date, since I’m only good for a 3 drink minimum. That last part is untrue. Strawberry Vodka on the other hand…whew. Oh, and stop treating the fact that I might eat a piece of chocolate once in a blue moon as an act of God. It’s a fact that God happens to look like Richard Simmons. Except female. When it rains, she’s doing step-aerobics.

Finding out I do ‘Fu, then trying to hit me. I’ve railed on this before, but man. We hit back. Seriously.

When the ladies in Policy Accounting have a potluck. Which they do. Bi-Weekly. It makes the poor team members that work in my department get so damn mad that they are tethered to their desk for 8.5 hours. I feel their pain.

Hypocrites. Say, 1 thing. Act/Do another. That’s really general, but you know- Know thyself.

Condescending P#icks. If you do it towards me? Don’t. Listen to yourself. Listen to how you sound. Do you think I don’t hear it? And if you don’t care, do you think I want to hear it? And if you don’t care, cover your S’nuts. For they may be removed.
That’s about all for today.

Whenever I've ever done any or some of the above list. Sorry. I do wash my hands.

Geeking of Speak

Red Shirts:

Little known geek noun that describes the people in the Star Trek canon that are basically the disposable extra's. (You know the ones: Kirk, Spock, McCoy, Sulu, and Chekhov go down to a class M planet. In tow are 2-3 "red shirts". You know that those random red-shirt guys are dead-ass-meat.)

So today, and this is way too stupid to be a coincidence. There are at least 11 people wearing some shade of red shirt/sweater. In the team meeting I just lead, there were 3 sitting at the table in front of me. Making 4 total for conference room 231. Yeah. Including me.

We're toast.

Thai me, you'll like me...

SUCH an interesting day yesterday. Let’s see-

The network wankers decided to cancel "The Book of Daniel". Which means that my dad will have to find another TV show to emulate. (Not even kidding, this type of behavior that I normally illicit. When he helped me move in my "big-kid" bed, he gave me a play-by-play of the entire 1st episode. Apparently my whole family is hooked. Weird. I guess they’ll have to go back to "South Park" re-runs. Lol)

Work. I never really talk about the big kid job for fear of driving readers away faster than the batmobile. (I work in the financial community…where we put the "douche" in fiduciary.) HOWEVER, the beginning of the year is ridiculously busy- so yeah. Busy. Ish.

Last night after work, I bolted out to Chiang Mai Tai *to pick up my very own magic hoodie. (Again, folks, this is why I need a digital camera- Just so you can see my ridiculous fashion sense in action. Granted, I’d never leave the house because what would happen is that I’d wind up posting lascivious photo’s of myself into the wee hours…but I digress) It is a PHAT hoodie, and all it cost was a little Thai food and some great BS conversation. I gotta tell you that it is wonderful to go out and have an evening that ends with meeting cool new people**.
But, y’all probably knew that.

(Funny bit: "You, uh, don’t strike me as the kind of person that would be a geek, S."/"Oh yeah, I should tell you about the time I bought the sword of the Witch King at a TX Con." And she got Ray Parks autograph! That's right. Darth Maul. It surprised me too. Even more surprising was that the sword is taller than she is. Boo YA!)

And it’s a cool hoodie. Is it wrong that I want to go to Café Press and buy the "Stinging Serpent of Death" t-shirt? Yeah. But I have the fashion sense of a 14 year old, so what do I know? I still need a frickin’ face cage so I can go whoop some A$$ in the South Suburbs.

You know who you are. It’s comin'. ; )

2 bits:
1) Please cross your digits. Cross’em. Now! And think of P fondly between 7-10 tonight. Oh God…here we go: "Think of P…Think of P fondly, when we kiss gooooood niiiiight". Just in case you’re wondering, I am-in fact- bone "in" ham. Do with that what you will.

2) Send the most positive thoughts, support, and well wishes to my future roommate DeeT’s. He is going through a very difficult time right now with a recent passing in his family. If you see him, give him a hug. Or an airplane ride. He’s the best. And if you check this out, Texas Armadillo, you know we all love you very much.


* Tofu w/Veggies, and some ginger tea. Yes. I ate. I ate tofu. And spilled the dish down my front. She didn't see it, but if she reads it- S, I really am that cool.

** and some old friends. I bumped into my girl Snoopy who I've known since high school. She was gonna comp us free dessert but, you know. Too Full. Too P.

Tuesday, January 24, 2006

I love soup.

I'm sweating balls right now. I think I was a little overzealous with the tabascoing of my soup today (Hearty Tomato Rotini) and it sent my metabolism into overdrive.

Ugh. I just felt a trickle of sweat go down my armpit. Great, Mr. Stinky.

So, I love brothy soups, in case you’re wondering. Oh sure, there have been some instances of plowing through a tasty bisque (The best was 13 Moons Lobster Bisque that we had during my mom’s B-day a few years ago. Heaven) Clam Chowder (Again with the Frisco references) and that delightful MN staple: Chicken (Or Turkey) w/wild rice. I can’t think of the single best bowl of the Chickey Rice, but there have been times, oh yes.

Well, Mr. Freakish Eater that I am (Wait, weren’t you just Mr, Stinky? What are you, effing Sybil? ) has reverted back to his penchant for healthier brothy soup. Progresso (IMHO) for the $ is the best, and also has some really tasty choices to go with it: Chicken Rotini, Hearty Tomato, Southwestern Style Chicken (Too good for words) even a low-fat Clam Chowder which (With the addition of oysters) makes for a ridiculously good seafood stew. (I see my brother throwing up in his mouth a little bit)

Soup. One of the dumb things that make Winter okay.

I suppose I should probably qualify that I wanted to see if I could do an entire post on soup (to see if anyone gets antsy and jumps ship right away) But…

I had Chinese Food, kids. Saturday, with Ry. He was insistent on Fresh Wok (And pissed that I "wasn’t hungry" or eating) so we got that out of the way. Steamed Chicken with mixed vegetables. 1st Chinese meal I’ve eaten since 11/28/05. (How’s that for a wickedly weird memory?) And in case you’re wondering, yeah…I sweat like a hog. Body wasn’t quiiiite ready for that. And at the Dragon, I was deathly afraid of melting Mo’s eyebrow’s off when I exhaled. Just sayin’

Tonight, brilliance: I’m meeting my new friend (and possible occasional lurker) Shenanigan for some Thai food. I met S at the PW center, and she is hooking me up with a PHAT hoodie (Simple pleasures, kids. And hey? How often do you get a phat hoodie that simply says 6-1-2? NE Mipples REPRESENT!)

Busy Week this week, very busy...so hang in there, peeps.

Farg knows I am…

Monday, January 23, 2006

Social Studies Strikes Back

I'm back in the Bohemian Social Studies teacher costume. (As my co-worker was very quick to point out. They so love their petty torments...don't they?) I wrote about this monkey suit b4, but to get the image back in yer heids: Khaki's, Clogs, Muted earth-tone sweater vest (Really brings the outfit together) and a cornflower blue dress shirt. All I need is some chalk to compliment the ensemble' and then we can BS for hours about the Civil War!

So, you know, I'm hopin' that if there is a guy equivalent to the "naughty-school girl Britney Spears" look circa 1999...Well, I'm hoping that this is it. But probably not. And I don't think I'll ever drop Britney's name on this blog, ever again. And really...I wouldn't I look that good in pigtails either. Not this cute anyway.



"Oooooooo, I have a question for yoooouuuu Mr. P...Oooooooooo...pick meeeeee"

Sick.

I should just go home.

El Wochenende

Spanish and German. Or, Sperman. Ew.


Was good. Sehr gut, in fact. Let's see, y'all know about Moo-Rackle Worker. (Which was great)

Sats was a different story, having to come into the oriface to write a boatload of correspondence to clients and brokers (yaaawn) all in the interest of OT. Once that poopy day was done, I was reminded of how much of a completely insensitive a$$ I can be. (ahem)

Ry-gonn: "Hey, what did you do last night?"
Moi: "Saw Miracle Worker. Took your mom on a date."
Ry: "Huh. What're you doing tonight?"
Moi: "I'm not sure. Big brother called and asked me to come to dinner. I'm thinking about checking out Ghosts over @ TRP, then heading to the Garage for the closing party of Miracle, then meeting Dorajar for thingytails. Why, what did you do?"
Ry: "Not much. It was my birthday yesterday, sooooo..."


I sort of zoned out after that. Yeah. Thoughtful P. Very Thoughtful. Aren't you going to be the best man in his wedding? Or is that more like..."weren't you going to be?". I'm a dumbass.

So. Plans got trumped so I could hang with my best friend (And finally get him his b-day/X-mas presents. Honestly, I've been so wrapped up in my own s#it am I that blind to the world around me? Probably. ) He was grossly happy with his haul (A Darth Vader mask, and a ton of Star Wars Schwag. Including a Jedi robe. Oh yeah. I hooked a brother up.) We ended up watching "The 40 Year Old Virgin" (Yeah yeah. I told everyone to see it. Numerous times. Because it was f#cking hysterical.)

So yeah. A sweet lil' cast party over at the Garage followed (Bulletin board quotes include: "You look very 'noirish' with the whole overcoat/fedora thing*." And my fave "You smell like gas station bathroom soap". ("That's funny, sweetie...since I actually did take a bath at the gas station") Out of the mouths of babes, people.) The night was capped off with a nice convo at the Dragon. Apparently Pond Hockey roolz! And sooomeone needs to see "Mystery, Alaska". I'm just sayin'.

Sunday: It was perfect. The perfect brunch with some darn near perfect people. (I can't really speak for m'self) AND we surprised the hell outta someone who normally doesn't get the hella surprised out of her. And I laughed an awful lot. Not a bad Sunday.



* So I watched "Mississippi Burning" again, and I got all feisty because they all wore stinkin' Fedora's. So, y'know...it seemed like a pretty good idea at the time. Not like it was even a full fedora. More like a mini-fedora. Or a "Halfora". Something.

Quitters

This'll be simple.


(sigh) I had to retire a pair of long underpants. It was time. Due to my strange penchant for wearing clothing items until they disintegrate, I think that these long undiepants have been in my possession for (Ohhhh) nigh on 15 years. They've been relegated to "Workout" long underpants for winter runs. The straw, which invariably broke my back would have to be the fact that they have become...quitters. That's right. The elastic around the waistband has stretched and worn to such a point that they were desperately clinging to my hips in the vain effort to stay on.

And they didn't. Sumbitches kept falling down during my run so that by the time I actually got back home they were bunched up in the crotch of my sweat pants and my a$$ was freezing off.

So yeah. They've gone bye bye. And I'm sure the visual is enough to get your Monday started right.

Saturday, January 21, 2006

It's a Miracle

Um.

BD and I went to the 'Garage where we caught Miracle Worker.

I thought it was good. Ridiculously good. SR and SF as Anne and Helen were just, ugh... Sick. As was the FW, and that Amendt kid should get a shout out just for this really great...moment. Broke my heart. I said back in May (after seeing "Oh Streetcar") seeing really good shows makes me want to get better as an actor, and fug-this show did it. I cried at the end. I don't do that. (Or, rather, haven't done that since "The Real Thing" at TRP. Maybe it's because I'm emotional. Who knows) If you can, and it isn't sold out tonight...which it probably is...see it.

I ate a gummy off the floor that SF threw at me. It was w/in the 5 second rule, according to her, but I think that will probably be listed under "The grossest s#it I've ever ate". Next to a burnt up veggie patty. The things I do to make a 10 year old laugh. I'll probably get an intestinal disease. Great. No appetite, AND I get the runs.

FYI: I'm going to probably throw my $ at whatever production SR decides to stage. I love her work, quite a bit.

"Ghosts" tonight. GOOOOOO SYPHILLIS!

Bogarted meme from Portana!

Layer One

Name: P
Bithdate: December
Birthplace: Robbinsdale, MN
Current Location: NE Mipples, MN
Eye Color: Blau
Hair Color: Braun
Righty or Lefty: Rudy. Hit Lefty.
Sun Sign: Capricornicus, Pornicuss
Innie or Outtie: It's like a deep pit in my midsection.

Layer Two

Your heritage: German, Czech, Irish, Scottish, English, Pillsbury Doughboy
The shoes you wore today: Old school tennies...with dress clothes. I gotta be me.
Your hair: Rakish and unruly
Your eyes: Bloodshot. Muh huh wah HA HA HA HA!!!
Your weakness: Kryptonite. (Kidding. Like I'd tell the public my weakness)
Your fears: Growing old alone. Heartbreak. Destitution. Cancer.
Your perfect pizza: Luce's Greek Pizza, or Green Pepper/Black Olive/Mushroom. You know...When I'm in a 'za mood.
One thing you'd like to achieve: Get my house all fixed up.

Layer Three

Your most overused phrase: Fuck. Brilliant. The bottom line is... Cocktacular. Seriously.
Your first waking thoughts: "Hey...It's 3am and I bet I don't go back to sleep!"
The first feature you notice in the opposite sex: "I really hope they want to have lots of sex with me." I'm fully aware that isn't a feature per se, but it sounded a lot funnier to me than just saying the real answer.
Your best physical feature: Aren't people supposed to tell you? MD said she liked my hair. I'll stick with that.
Your bedtime: Somewhere between 10 and 11
Your greatest fear: Didn't we cover this already?
Your greatest accomplishment: Buying a house. Getting to know/work with some amazing and beautiful people.
Your most missed memory: Awwwwwww, that's kinda private. (coughs) Here: I think when someone said once "I don't know if it is all right to say this to a man, but I think that you are beautiful" it sticks like glue in my memory box. Or whenever you hear someone say "I love you" and they mean it?

Yeah.

(btw/disclaimer: That's a blanket "missed memory", dig? )

Layer Four

Pepsi or Coke: Diet Coke. Or Diet Mt.Dew.
Single or group dates: Time and a place for both, y'know?
Adidas or Nike: Old School Puma's. (New Balance when I work out)
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: Mint Green Tea, hot, with honey. (Plain green tea tastes like a$$)
Chocolate or vanilla: Chocolate.
Cappuccino or coffee: Lots.

Layer Five

Cuss: Fuck. Oh, wait...that's wasn't a command?
Sing: Yes- Bari to 2nd Tenor. La La.
Take a shower everyday: Yup. In the evening.
Have a crush(es): I give my love freely to all, and keep none for myself. HAH!
Do you think you've been in love: Think Schmink. I've known I've been in love. And it feels fucking fantastic.
Want to go to college: Been there done that
Like high school: Yup. It was fun.
Want to get married: I'm not in any hurry, thanks.
Believe in yourself: I have to.
Type with your fingers on the right keys: Yeeeeah.
Think you're attractive: Not really. Charming, in a hammy/doofy/harmless way...but I think I missed "good-looking" by a nickel toss. (RsVP got all the "WB Pretty" genes)
Think you're a health freak: I'll leave this to my audience.
Get along with your parents: Yes.
Play an instrument: Skin Flute (Sorry, turned 11 years old just there) Some percussion, harmonica (OK, just the opening riff of "Piano Man"), and my voice.

Layer Six

In the past month, did you...
Drink alcohol: Yes
Do a drug: nope
Make Out: Nope. But, look, seriously? Ok, Ok. Fine...if you want too. Really? Okay. You sure? No. Really? I'm totally good for it. Hello? (Insert sound of crickets chirping)
Go on a date: Nope. (What is the technical def? I mean, I saw "Miracle Worker" w/BD but it wasn't technically a date since she's married and her hubby suggested we go together. So it was more like a Super Secret Date. So, um. No?)
Eat an entire box of Oreos: Not since I was 13. I told you I was slightly portly as an adolescent.
Eat sushi: Not in the last month, but I love it
Been on stage: Yup.
Been dumped: No
Gone skating: Soon, love...soon.
Made homemade cookies: Yup. I like the way it makes my house smell.
Been in love: Nope.
Gone skinny dipping: We're in freakin' MN for cripes sake. Ask me again in July.
Dyed your hair: No
Stolen anything: No.

Layer Seven

Have you ever...
Played a game that required removal of clothing: Yes
If so, was it mixed company: Yes
Been trashed or extremely intoxicated: Yes
Been caught "doing something": Yeah. Those bastards ruined what could have quite possibly been called "The single greatest moment of my life".
Been called a tease: A flirt, yeah. Tease, no. (Read old post "Why do peeps think Friendly=Flirty?"
Gotten beaten up: Have you met my bro? Or MD? Or Wong? Or Dawson? Old school a$$-kickers, the lot of them.
Shoplifted: No
If so, did you get caught: n/a
Changed who you were to fit in: I don't need to. I bring "The P"

Layer Eight

Age you hope to be married: Sorry. I'm not in a big rush kids.
Numbers and Names of Children: I don't want any chitlins. I'd like many pets. Like a llama, or an emu.
Describe your Dream Wedding: Wow. These are some GREAT questions. NEXT!
How do you want to die: Old, On a beach, covered in suntan oil, with a mai tai in my hand.
Or doing something selfless. Or getting eaten by great white sharks in Australia. (I'll take one of those fuckers with me, I can tell you that much for nothing! )
What do you want to be when you grow up: I've met grown ups. They frighten me.
What countr(ies) would you most like to visit: See the 1/20/06 posts on "Ramblin'"

Layer Nine

Number of women I have kissed: Dear God, People. I'm involved in theatre.
Number of girlfriends you've had: Like, titled girlfriends. 7 since the 8th grade. SSGF's? Countless. Girls are scary. They can smell fear and desperation...like bee's and dogs.
Number of people I could trust with my life: 3
Number of CDs that I own: 50 or so?
Number of piercings: 0
Number of tattoos: 0 (I'm still thinking of the kanji for "No". Right on the side of my...oooooo)
Number of times my name has appeared in the newspaper: Once or twice. Apparently I'm a terrific "Backtor"
Number of scars on my body: Boodles.
Number of things in my past that I regret: Some. Not many. But some.

Friday, January 20, 2006

Piggybacking on the travel post

Oh, the places I will go: (Sorry dorajar. Burkina Faso will have to wait until the next Blue Moon)


Greece, Italy, Turkey- My lucky-a$$ parents got to hit all of these places on a Cruise. I wanna go. I want to see the Colliseum, the Acropolis, in a big bad way. I want to see if the waters of Rhodes are as blue as they are in pictures (An old co-worker of mine went their with her Greek hubby to his birthplace. It was so damn beautiful) These are places from stories we’d read about as kids and adults. I want to see them before they crumble away. I want to see the place on the Leaning Tower of Pisa where Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked it.

Japan/China- Doi. Yeah Yeah Yeah…Karate boy wants to go pretend he’s reliving a past life experience or something. Baka Gaijin, that’s me.

Back to the UK- Loved it. Mom and I had the best time and I gotta go again. (And see 3 X's as many shows) I also want to see the place in Ireland where my brother and his wife took that dynamite pic from their wedding program. (The smoochy smooch). Annnnnd I want to see if I can get to Ullster Province to find where our ancestors are from. (The "Love’s". Ironic, huh?)

Australia- Damn straight. I gotta hit the reef. I will be attacked by sharks, because they will smell my fear (And probably my urine) but that’ll be one helluva way to go.

Spain- (I’m bringing Biggie and his wife with me here. I require a translator) I think running with the bulls in Pampalona would kick ass.

France-ville- Yup. I’m a touron. But I wanna see the frassin’ Louvre.

Germany/Austria- See if I can dust of my Deutsch well enough to sing "Einz, Zwei, GeZuffa" at the Munich Hofbrauhaus

Czech Republic- My dad got me on this kick to go, partly because of my heritage…but mostly because it’s a beautiful city that is filled with art. Cool.

India- What's in India, you might ask? Indians. Doi. And the Taj Majhal. (I'll be holding your hand and checking it out in spirit, lucky girl.) Plus, how the hell else am I gonna break into the Bollywood film industry? Salaa Bombay!

Mexico- WOOOO PARTY IN MAZATLAN! SHOW YOUR T!TS!!! Fuck no. I've always been a pretty yuge fan of the Aztec/Mayan/Incan cultures since I did a book report on them in the 5th grade. (You know, where my reading level stopped?) So, I've always had a jones to visit the Tulum ruins and the Mayan ruins of Chichan Itza.

Egypt- RsVp (again) will understand this. Mom went back in '84. I just wanna see the pyramids before they go away. Y'know?


Canada, eh- Back to Vancouver. Nice arts scene. Beautiful city.

(Locally)
Biggs and I had the honor and privilege of having our butts dragged around the country a lot when we were growing up. There are very few states where we didn't trod, so I guess part of me would like to go back to some of those places, like 4 corners, The Carolina's, Florida, Devil's Tower. I'd like to be able to treat them with a little more reverence. (As opposed to my impatient hormonal pre-teen antics. I'm sure I was an absolute joy to have in the mini-van)
And, I think that I'd like to hit a few more places on the NW and NE seaboard...just fer fun. And while it's cool to be going back to NY and Cali, I'd still like to hit:

Hawaii and Alaska. Someday, botches.

Now I just need a frassin' $ponsor. Or someone who wants to use me ala' Rick Steve's...You know...bugging the locals with my cheesy Western charm. That's the ticket.

And to find some poor bastard who would wanna deal with my looney baloney during the trip. 'Cause you know, it's nice to share that stuff with someone. ; )

Until then:

Heads Carolina, Tails California...that's a country song for you'se that don't know.


Have a good weekend peeps. I give you my full "Helen Keller: The Musical" review on Monday.

All right ramblers...start ramblin'...

I’ve noticed something. ("Really, Captain Observant? What might that be?")

I pal around with a lot of ramblers. A lot. C’mon, you know what a rambler is? Restless spirits. Wanderers, searchers. Travellers. Peep’s that are not made to settle. Who’d be fine in a tent in the middle of the Desert in the great unknown. Gypsies. Nomads. I gotta tell you, I admire the hell out of people that do that. I do. Who have the means to get up and go. Or even the ones who don’t, and get up and go anyway. You can see it in their faces when you meet them. My girl Bear was like that. We used to road trip allll over and back. Sometimes as close as Superior. Once as far down as Nashville. Many moons ago when we were together, I remember watching her get the itch. MN wasn’t the place for her. Soooo, she hopped on a plane and took off for Namibia. She’s been back a couple of times, taking care of children with AIDS in orphanages.

I happen to like to travel too. I love being there. I like getting out on the street and doing reconnaissance. Walking around. (I always lose weight on vacays. Weird, huh?) Where am I close to? What’s within walking distance? Where are the museums? (I always have to find the local museums, but hey...I'm a geek. Even if it's some boring ass shit like the crappy cowboy museum in Medora, ND) What’s on the busline? I talk to the hotel concierge’s, people that work in the area. I love researching where I’m going ahead of time. What foods are they known for? Did you have clam chowder in a bread bowl when you were in SF? You know damn right I did. Did you have seafood in Boston? Hell yes. Did you get fish and chips in London? Yeah, but I was a little non-plussed so I opted for the prawns on a baguette.

Sometimes I even like it when I get a little lost. It can be scary, no doubt…but sometimes you happen upon wonderful things too. I love getting to know some of the language’s of other places. The sounds of their voices, the intonations, the difference between Alabama, Mississippi, or even TX accents. Teaching myself simple phrases and conversations, trying to emulate the appropriate inflections so that I don’t sound like a complete Eurocentric dork when trying to ask where the toilet is in Spanish. ("Good pronuciation" was all she said.) I mean, how can you not think that that is cool?

Well, I have a house now. A cute fixer-upper that getting fixer-upped. And the complexity that is P, has got me divided into two camps: I have a responsibility to my home. To it’s re-conditioning and maintenance. Except the "now"ness of my life has got me itching to travel. I’ve got some trips planned that should help a budget saavy guy like me get to both coasts b4 the year is out, so that’ll probably get that bug out of my butt.
I’ve decided to call my house the "Base of Operations". Or maybe the "Hall of Justice", just without the Wonder Twins and that goofy ass blue monkey. (I think that Casa del P is fine) The casa is always going to be a place that I can come home to. The world is going to be my stomping grounds.

MN is my home.

Thursday, January 19, 2006

Seriously...I'm not even kidding...Skates.

We will, I repeat, will go roller skating.


It must be done, so sayeth the P.


Show of hands: Who's into it?

That's what I thought. I mean, really...Who doesn't like roller skating? People who hate Freedom, that's who.

I know that the Jabas and his gally had their 1st date at a skate rink. That's cool.

I haven't been roller skating since 1986. Why?

The story:

I used to get my little fat-kid-butt passed over for the "Snowball Couples Skate" all the time. (In fact, I'm pretty sure that whenever they played "Open Arms", "Against all Odds", or "Total Eclipse of the Heart" I'd rabbit off the rink like my arse was on fire.) I've relived this sordid tale b4: Picture lil' 11 year old P wearing his "Bloom County" t-shirt with a hawaiian shirt over it. Probably had a "Dr.Who" pin on the collar. The acid washed County Seat jeans which were supposed to be loose, fitting snugly to my rubenesque lil' bod...Probably munching a licorice rope or a eating an ice cream Choco-Taco....sitting out on the bench during the Snowball...and allllll the little cute girls with their big 80's bangs would skate up to me...hands extended...my heart would leap...their hands would pull back at the last minute annnnnndd "PSYCHE!" Man. Mean Girls. Big Time. Subsequently, I made love to the game "Moon Patrol" quite a bit.)

I thought (as a kid) because I was a hockey demon that I was also a roller skate demon. Not so much. More than once...and twice, I would try and skate backwards and wind up ass over teakettle, only to be rescued by the pimply-faced besmocked "Skate Patrol". (I'm surprised my coccyx is still intact)

I ate a lot of licorice rope, choco-tacos, and drumsticks. In a simple twist of fate, I was spared the agony of problem acne.

I think another reason I don't like 'blading these days are due to my bad 'xperiences at Skateland.

So. Time to exercise those demons. I'm thinking that place in Saint Louis Park. Y'know? The one with the Brontosaurus on top. Sometime in February-ish, round the middle. Anti-Valentines, because...yeah. I'm the crusty anti-V day guy this year.

And besides, if you've seen this movie how can you not like roller skates?

Bueno

Coming back

You know...the ol' appetite hasn't been quite what it's been for a while now.

Ohhhh, there were situational factors, to be sure...but after my body acclimated to its new regime I found that the old way of eating was me eating for eatings sake. Not 'cause I was hungry. Just, regimented meals. And usually (in spite of mostly being healthy) I et a lot more.

So you know, I was thinking that the yogurt, fruits/veggies, and soup diet has been pretty good to me. I've lost weight, to be sure, but it came about at a great time (Before KFH)...and it would have taken me a lot longer to get into fighting shape had I not adopted this new diet.

'Cept...

Last night I was recounting the "dit da jao" story for the umpteenth time (P...yer a feckin' broken record. But I gotta tell ya: When told in conjunction with nearly getting knocked out at rehearsal and having a foam wrapped broomstick almost take your arm off...it makes for a faaaabulous story. I love watching people's reactions. I feel like C-3PO and the motherfuckin' Ewoks in "Jedi") ANYway, my pernt is: I got to the part where I said the DDJ smells like General Tso's...and I got a jones.

For Great Dragon.

More specifically, the steamed chicken with mixed vegetables. No MSG. Part of their "Light/Healthy" fare. Served with a sauce that is, not to put a fine a point on it: killah...

I miss Chinese food. And I know that sounds pretty dumb. What I am certain of, is that as soon as I eat the filthy stuff my metabolism is so whacked out and revved up I'll probably wind up sweating half the night AND having myself some fucked-up dreams.

Someday.

(sighs) 'Til then, it'll be the spicy lentil soup and honey-wheat pretzels. That's right...lentil soup. I am so glad I don't have a date tonight. Oh...wait. I'm at the COSTUME shop tonight. Awwwwww, poor customers. They only have to deal with stinky for another 4 shifts.

We each do our little part to stick it to the man, don't we? Some ways are silent...but deadly. Prrrrrrrrt.

Wednesday, January 18, 2006

Thoughts for the day, revisited.

You know, deleting your old posts takes forevah- BUT, I happened upon something that I think is mildly profound. (As in, salsa is mild...so is P's profundity.) I wanted to do a repost so you all knew what great people we can be. We want to be.

Reprinted with permission from the author, from an August 2005 post


One of the greatest capacities we can fulfill is to be able to provide another person with a kind word. If you ever want to feel validation or fulfillment, pass along a kind thought or observation. There is no trick to it, and if you can't..you're just being lazy. It openly demonstrates that you are taking 5 seconds to think about someone else...Seriously, do it today.

Here's some really simple stuff that makes me happier than happy.

-The Sunday Paper and a cup of good coffee.
-People laughing at some funny thing I've said.
-Completing a project at home
-A thoughtful compliment
-Central Air Conditioning on a hot day, a warm house on a colllld one.
-Karate. And all that it entails. Fighting, Learning...beautiful.
-Live theatre. Laughter and appreciation from the audience.
-Exercising that ends with me feeling good and not ending so that even I can't climb the stairs
-Days off
-Big breakfasts...especially lots of egg whites
-Reading a book that I can't put down
-The Internet
-My co-workers, who accept me for who I am and also trust my leadership. Weird.
-People who have a bad day, and I make'em laugh at something, and they say "thank you".
-People who accept my penchant for the abstract as positive
-Going out to dinner with good friends
-When my Indian co-worker brings extra food to share for lunch (Last Friday was Roti and Lentils with rice)
-People who respond to this blog (It makes someone as boorish as myself feel good)


So, it isn't an "all-encompassing" list, but if I wanted to list (say) daily irritants I have a high degree of certainty that it would be shorter than this one. (I have a high tolerance for pain, and bullshit)

To all of my friends that are reading today, know and believe this: Because of the ADD/Abstract Randomness that is P, at any time and probably every day- You're always in my thoughts. Take comfort in knowing that.

(And to the Lurky McLurkersons, please post something for cripes sake. It ain't hard y'know! Oooooooo but it's getting there....HEY Ohhhhh! Who's the lowest common denominator NOW?)

; )

Reviews, for lack of anything topical

"Fantastic Four"
Should be renamed Fanta$$tic A$$. Even though I have geekish and nerdish tendencies, and even though I was a little schwag reader as a kid- I was just never into the FF as a group. They were just a little too wholesome for my taste. Sure, I had a couple of ish’s and the world famous X-Men/FF crossover…heck, I even watched the dumb cartoon w/the FantA$$ticar and Herbie the lame-ass Rosie knock off Robot. I had even seen glimpses of the infamous FF movie from 1994, starring that kid who played "Bug" in "Uncle Buck".

So, while the franchise is kind of "Red Sox" cursed, I was cautiously optimistic regarding the film. The cast seemed okay- I was digging on Ioan Gruffuld, Chiklis owns in "The Shield", and Chris Owens…from the trailer, seemed okay. Jessica Alpo, while gorge’, didn’t seem like a good fit- A role better suited for Naomi Watts (Hey, do what the X-Men did- Cast good people, correctly, In every role…and you’ll be aces.) And lastly, Julio McMahon: Plays a jerk on Nip/Tuck…Plays a variation of a jerk here. Woooooo, stretch.

Um. It sucked. Mired by shite dialogue, the movie never had a chance to capitalize on the coolness it could have been. Alpo was mis-cast, and while I can’t say a film that dedicates itself to undressing her at every turn is a bad thing, it was a boring catalyst for a gimmick. Chiklis was good, even under all the prosthetics he really played the tortured monster really well. And Chris Owens did the cocky thing okay (I coulda done w/o the "Extreme Sports" angle) - He and The Thing’s relationship was about the only thing that was even remotely believable. (Although there was a nice, quiet scene between pre-Thing Ben and Reed that was actually pretty cool to watch. Real, y’know?)

Big problem? Dr. Doom is by far and away the baddest bad-ass in comics canon. He knows magic, science, and lives in a great big castle. He loves his people, and hates the world…And is insanely jealous of Reed Richards. He Eff’s up everybody. Here, we have a (badly characterized) Meglomaniacal Ham who gets metal skin, shoots electric bolts out of his hand (Ooooo. Did I say Hand, singular? I did.) And puts on a helmet. Ooooo. He’s a mort. Big-Time. And his "Big surprises" to stop the FF (Freezing "Mr. Fantastic"? That had to be the lamest gimmick outside of 1960’s Batman TV Show.)
So yeah, the effects were cool, and effective. But plot, characterization, story, were all…ass. Sorry. Skip it.

"Unleashed"
So, I like karate movies. Big deal. Redwright lent me this after showing me the very 1st 2 minutes of fighting. So I borrowed it. And liked it. It’s short, light, fluffy, and the fighting is just…sick. Bob Hoskins and Morgan Freeman both do great jobs. (Hoskins chews scenery like cattle chew cud) And Jet Li plays the role of a man raised like a dog…well? Did I mention the fights are sick? (Spoiler 1- There is a claustrophobic bathroom fight. Like, waaay claustrophobic. Yeesh. Spoiler 2- WTF does that collar do? Way I see it, it doesn’t do dick. Seriously. I thought it’d be something cool like, if he tries to take it off himself his head will explode, but…no.) Check it out on NutFlux if you get a chance. And enjoy the terrific shots of London. (I wanna go back)

"War of the Worlds"
Great special effects. Great. Cool. So why didn’t I like this movie very much? It wasn’t Tom Crooze’s performance (Who, despite needing to take a long walk off a short pier, was fine) it was the casting ofTom Crooze’s in the 1st place. Too, effin’ pretty to play a blue collar NJ dad that works on the docks…and drives a frickin’ really expensive car. And wears a really expensive jacket. I just couldna buy it. His kids were fine (Dakota "My eyes are unnaturally large" Fanning was really good.) And Spielberg still paints a really pretty picture all over. I just kind of wish that it had that pacing of "Close Encounters". Which I need to own.
I don’t know, if I want a quiet little "Earth Invasion" movie I’ll re-watch "Signs". Or feck, if I have a couple of days (HA!) I’ll pick up "V".

Tuesday, January 17, 2006

Ah-Mayzing...

Ah-mayzing.
Next to Steve Ditko (Creator of The Amazing Spider-Man), my family, and Shakespeare…I’ve always had a very stong affection towards the speeches and teachings of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. In celebration of his birthday, here are 2 of my favorites:

"If a man is called to be a street sweeper, he should sweep streets even as Michelangelo painted or Beethoven composed music or Shakespeare wrote poetry. He should sweep streets so well that all the hosts of heaven and earth will pause to say: Here lived a great street sweeper who did his job well"


And…

"The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy. "

Good stuff, huh? The 1st time I read those quotes had an immediate effect on me. I’ve always used the 2nd quote as a sort of mantra in my life whenever I’ve felt my personal chips were down.

That being said:

I spent MLK jr day doing manual labor at my folks old house. (One of the meager ways I can show my appreciation for all that they have done for us.) As a reward, I was given permission to use their hot tub (Which. Btw needs to be mine. Oh yes. It belonnnnngs on my patio.) The tub was divine, however I was told that if I wanted to I should try reading something just to let my mind wander. There was a boxed stack of funny books, and as I dug through them I happened upon the August 1978 edition of Playboy.

I opted for the Playboy. Duh. For all of 5 seconds. The pages started getting chloriney.

I hit up my audition for Coyote Ugly on a Fence. (About 6 really cute female bartenders on death row. They get up on top of their cells and DANCE!) and instead of coming home and studying, I wound up watching ½ of War of the Worlds. (Blech. Just, Drecky.) It went fine, so keep your fingers crossed. I’m hoping it’ll at least garner a callback.

2 questions:

I’m painting my roommate’s room. Originally, it was my TV room, and was a very bright crayon-y shade of red. I’m either going to go towards a deeper red, almost merlot, or prime it and paint it royal (almost) navy blue. Discuss. (And future roommate, if you are reading this…Well, this is the story of the color of your room. The end : )

Another painting question: If you could paint a picture of anything- what would you paint? I keep on leaning towards the feminine forms, so if anyone has any idea’s I’d appreciate it. ( I have an easel, paint, canvas, and a kick-ass frame that was from an old hotel in Downtown Mipples. I’m just sort of lacking a muse)

Night Night...sweet prince.

Well this’ll mark the end of another run, so in true ninja fashion, I’m gonna fill y’all in on the highlights- Which’ll hit you like a maelstrom of shuriken. You've been warned!

The Saturday show was divine. Actually it was one of the more solid shows during the run- my friend Tallen and her boy showed up (Yee haw. *DeeT’s- Remind me to tell you the comment my dad and his friend made: "Hoo-hoo-hooo…..who is THAT, P?" /"Um she’s my friend…and she’s kinda taken, boys. And taken by the worst POSSIBLE man ever...""/"Really? What kind is that?"/"The sonovabitch is one of the nicest guys you’d want to meet. Frass!") Yes, my family (duh) and their close friends came. (Who all loved the show. They told me later that they thought that the gally who played Ophelia was, oooooo what did they say? "Gorgeous AND charming".) Dad later asked where I learned gymnastics: Elementary school. Sorry dad. No big secret.

Rounding out the attendee's were Magrooders (Who came AGAIN!) Ikester (Who loved it. Doi, boy! I told you this was your show!) and their cute friend who hails from Bulgaria…or Iowa. Or BulgIowa. I love my NE family. And, my co-worker the Chubby Corporal (US Army-ret. Hon Discharged) he and his girl braved a long-ass commute from St. Michael which is half a world away.

(*Notable show moments: Um, I punched MD in the face. Annnnnd I think we had a very VERY charged show. Very. Lotsa contact. It was glooooorious, and I wear my bruises as medals.)

Afterwards, I stopped out at Emma’s w/Tallen and her boy (A very nice restaurant, btw. Total date recommendation.) and got this weird celebrity vibe/treatment (DT back me up here) after a couple came up to me and complimented the show…they then proceeded to comment on their disdain towards one of our local rags which didn’t give our show a lick of press. ("We actually had to look in the PRESS to get any information on the show!") You go, my delightful public.

Then, onto a party in the quiet town of St.Paul…where an inebriate CG confessed that had himself some mad-hot monkey sex on Friday the 13th. (Well, at least somebody is, right?) Apparently he plans on bending my ear some day to tell me the correlation between Kung-Fu and Schtupping. I look forward to it, with baited breath.

Sunday brought us to our bittersweet close. Another full house that included some more dear friends of mine (Ry-Gonn and girl, Euge and Brettster, Welltrained Monkey and girl…where TF has HE been? Brandino+Grimes+Carlton. Ugh. How can you not dig on the support?) We stopped down at the Tower for post show libations + Nibbles (I think the fact that we waited out front like lemmings before they opened was HI-larious) Annnnd called it a day. Well, except me. Who went home to study for a test that I failed (Feckers) and made a stop over to Target ‘cause I felt all feisty and stuff. And finally got my big box ‘O bang.

They didn’t even do the embarrassing price check this time. Word.

Comment du juor: I was told "I love it how you switch/get off topics so quickly! It's HI-larious!"

Yeeeahh. I can tell you 2-200 people who'd probably argue the exact opposite.

Saturday, January 14, 2006

Dag...



I'm going to miss this stupid show. I'm going to miss this stupid silly little show. And I realized this last night. Damn. Just when we're starting to find our feet. Anyway. 'Nough of that.

Teeeeriffic show last night. (I still think that my kung fu sucks comparitively to the rest of the cast. Silly self-deprecating lil' me.) We were at near capacity last night, and I have a feeling that we'll probably have similar shows on tonight and tomorra. Did I mention it sucks to be closing this silly little show? The KFH website has updated it's blog, so you can check out some new P-boys goodness (See above), as well as MD catching some ridiculous air. We're all about cartwheels in this show. If we added a log roll or a pencil roll, we'd practically have a tumbling class.

LSA and hub hub were there, KWT's hub-hub and Franklin (Who be getting so big!), My dear friends TLC and BD, and another pair of ollllld friends SF and CJ. Yeah. I nearly fell apart when I told SF that we've known each other for, oooooo, 15 years now? Frickin' "Oklahoma". Frass.

Afterwards, TLC and weefie met up with the 1/2 of the WW superstars at Rude's for thingytails. (Get your a$$ back from 'Sconnie stat, Redwright) Quick question- when did being cordial and polite translate into being "flirty"? I ask the Rude's waitress what she likes to drink before I order and I'm labeled as being flirty? 'Kay. I meandered over to Nye's to meet the Gung Fu Crew and zen we hit the Front. I had almost forgot how much fun the Front was (It was crowded enough to have some energy, but empty enough to be able to move. Make sense? No? Tough) In the interest of keeping the Akkahol intake low, I opted (primarily) for a couple of Bulls and a couple of D-Coke. HOWEVER, I may as well have been drinking since frassin' 'Bulls were almost $5 a pop. The price I pay to stay caffeinated. It was boo-too fun, hanging with hot wommyn's, big brother, and good people. Yessiree.

1am and I was out. (Hey, I'm still on "old bar" time. Sue me.) Weird thing? My mother, getting off of work decides to do a "drive by" of my house as I'm pulling up in front. Yeah.

"Ummmm, Ma? This is kiiiinda weird?"

Friday, January 13, 2006

Do you miss it?


High School that is. I know a lot of peeps that really didn’t like it. They think of it as a really dark and awful time in their lives. Really Really.

Me? I had a pretty good time of it all. This comes to mind because we took the show to SF HS out in the sticks to perform for the kids. Well, I was under the distinct impression that we’d be doing it for the Glee Club, or the Theatre Geeks.

What I wasn’t expecting was close to 500 kids in a packed auditorium. Yeah.

It was a pretty big space, and most of the action took place down over the covered-pit, which we were informed was "brand new". It was sort of sprung, so whenever I did jumpy-spinny moves I caught a little more air than I’m used to getting at Intermedia. A while ago, I tried doing jumpy-spinny type moves on a trampoline with less than stellar results. (coughcough sprained ankle coughcough) That’ll teach me to try and give the ol’ tramp a stamp before a show. Do with that what you will.

Y’know something? Even though we condensed the heck out of it, we all still enjoyed a pretty smooth run.

Afterwards, we enjoyed a little Q and A with the students, where once again I proved that if I’m given a microphone I’ll use it as an opportunity to blab and blab and blab for days. The questions were cute: We had the teen mumblers ("Uhhhhh, yeah, so like, uhhhhhh, do you like, uhhhhhhh, do Kung Fu for real…Uhhhhhh, and stuff?) We even had "the dude" ask a question (You know "the dude". THE dude. The one in HS that eeeeeverybody wants to sit by during lunch period.) This kid was a smooth criminal, and his comment was: "Uhhhh, this is like, uhhh for Ophelia- I just want to say, uhhhhh, that you have the most breathtaking eyes."* (A response which got the crowd allllll riled up. Lil’ smoothie. And here’s me thinking that I had all the all-new old cheap lines. A new generation of old-school schmoozers cometh.

So, the show was received really well, even garnering the cast a complimentary email from one of the staff. It got me thinking that it’d be cool if this show was picked up and sent on the road. You know. We could do prison shows ala’ 10,000 things. Women’s prison shows even. Oooooooooo, chained heat.

Have a good weekend folks. Remember that most of us have Monday off (YEAH!) and remember above all else the man who’s birthday we’re remembering. One of my hero’s.

*Apparently he’s never seen those breathtaking eyes when they are preparing to engage in FIERCE COMBAT TO THE DEEEEAAAATH! I have…oh yes…I have…(shudders) They still haunt my dreams…

Snncxxkxcckkk! A snoring singalong

(ahem) Hug your bed. I did mine. Oooooo, what's that you say? "P...I thought you were sleeping in a van down by the river?" Close.

I got m'self a bed again. Break it down for me fella's (Techno Dance break)

Nstnst nst nst nst nst nst nst (Whoop, Whoop) nst nst nst nst (Whoop) nst nst nst nst...

Not your speed? How about old timey?
(To the tune of the "William Tell Overture")

"Gotta Bed, Gotta Bed, Gotta Bed-bed-bed...
Gotta Bed, Gotta Bed, Gotta Bed-Bed-Bed!"

No?

Maybe Kentucky Bluegrass?
(To the tune of "In the jailhouse now")

"I've got a big kid bed....
I've got a big kid...
Bed.
I've told you once 'er twicet, stop sleeping on the floor and shooting dice...
I'm in a big kid bed..."

Reaching here. Sorry. Excited over the lil' things, you see. Except that it was probably the 1st night in ohhhhhh 39 days that I've slept in a bed. And I slept 8.5 hours solid, uninterrupted, and without the use of sleeping aids.

Brilliant.

More brilliant was MD's ?: "Did you christen it yet?" Funny

Hey. One thing at a time. I got to get the damn thing off of casters and onto something solid or the 1st time I do attempt "naughty-naughty big kid time" we're (whoever the magic "we're" is) gonna slide all over the hardwood floor like we're trying to schtupp on roller skates. (Damn, the visual there must be worth the price of internet) I'll let you know when that happens in, ohhh, a year or so. ; )

I'm just sayin'.


"Gottabed, Gottabed, Gottabed-bed-bed!!!!"

Wednesday, January 11, 2006

It's not just fancy

Or maybe it's because I'm a random dork, but...

I've been contemplating getting a Tatt.


I know, I know...you're all saying "Garsh P, you said that you'd neeeeever get a tatt. Some bull-hiney about 'Blah-de-blah-de I like my body the way it is blah-de-blah-de and some other stuff about 'I have freckles and moles, you know? Real biological tattoo's".

Yeah. Well. Yeah.

So. In the interest of jumping on the bandwagon, I plan on getting the Japanese character for the word "No"*. Ehhh? Ehhhhhh? Get it? GET IT?!?!

That's the point.

Right next to my hip bone. I've been informed that it'll hurt. As long as I have someone to hold my hand, I should be golden. I've mulled this over as I don't want to make some half-baked regrettable decision, and honestly? I think I can live w/ a little tattoo right there.




(* Not to be confused with "Noh", the Japanese masked theatre form. Did you know that the lead actors in Noh are called Shite? Do any of my other juveniles think that is some funny shi-...nevermind)

Tuesday, January 10, 2006

Hot

I love my spartan diet, even if it still gets me ridicule.

"What are you doing?"
"Making my lunch"
"What is it?"
"Hearty Tomato Soup"
"What are you putting in it?"
"Tabasco"
"Why are you putting that in?"
"Did my co-worker suddenly get replaced with a 6 year old?"
"Well?"
"I like the taste. I like hot sauce. Mom used to punish big brother and I with it if we swore. Rubbed it on our mouths. I acquired a taste"
"I don’t think it helped you much"
"Whatthefuckever"
"Doesn’t that make it too hot?"
"Nope. It contains capescin which is good for your metabolism. It helps your circulation."
"You’re gross"
"Your mom is gross"

I guess that little dialogue just "popped in there" when I drove past El Meson the other day. I love that restaurant and it’s been many moons since I’ve been there. I particulary enjoy telling a story about how I used to live 2 blocks away from it. A dear old friend of mine thought we should grab dinner there and as we placed our orders (I had the pineapple chicken and rice, he opted for steak. Honestly, you go to a Carribean restaurant and order steak?) he asked the server if they had hot sauce. The server asked him "How hot ya want it?". He replied "Well I’m from the South, so what’s the hottest you got?" The server presents him with "Ass in the Tub" hot sauce, complete with a little graphic of a donkey sitting in a clawfoot tub. He proceeds to liberally douse his steak with this stuff and hands it to me. I examine the bottle and pay particular attention to the comment "Do not get near eyes, or have prolonged contact with the skin". Hmm. Sounded like a hot ticket. I put a little test dollop on the corner and give it a try. Immediate mouth shock. Bad. No food taste. (insert Ralphie Wiggin-ism) Tastes like burning. I look up at my friend who is currently in the process of emptying my glass of water, slams it down, and then drinks my soda.

"Dude. I think you need milk."
"Ahhhhhhh! P…I can’t HEAR anything"

It was all resolved with a quick jump across the street to the Ice Cream shoppe. I called to check in on him the next day and he informed me that yes…the aftermath was about as bad as the ingestion.

Ass in the tub indeed.

Hair Bear

I must be...
The only maroon...
Who get's all excitable...
Over haircuts.


Seriously P. WTF? And you wonder why people won't take you seriously?

Whew. I must have lost 8lbs. in "hair weight". Haircuts, Break-ups, and Mono are probably the best weight loss plans I've ever been on.


Speaking of losing some weight: Does anyone know an easy way to delete old posts? I'd really like to remove everything in 2004/05 if possible, and it's taking me forever to do it one by one.

Monday, January 09, 2006

That's it...

I have some very specific things I'm a teensy bit OCD about. (Nothing major: Dishes, Cleaning, Taking shoes off before I enter my house, etc.) And there are little dumb things I get weird about too. As an homage to my general depth of character (Which, I'll have you know, is approximately 1 3/8th inches deep. It has been measured. For Measure.) I will inform you of what is now going down in the archives as the "P haircut StressFest"

In theatre, typically they want male actors to try and grow their hair out during the course of the run. The exceptions being when, you know, you're supposed to be bald- Or militant, or if the period setting calls for a shorter "quaffed" 'do. Mostly, it's an effect to make your head appear larger, so that you create a bigger image on the big ol' stage.

I have always kind of wanted flatter, straight hair. Having a big blonde 'fro as a child hasn't helped the cause, and the natural wave tends to take on a life of its own. This can be itinerantly frustrating when it starts to get to "That Length". When the wingers and flippers start making appearances, and no matter how liberally I apply "build-up" inducing hairspray/mousse/gel- It always outpowers the control agents and bursts free from it's shackles. Leaving me with some pretty unruly hair. Big. Not rakish, or billowy. More like Richard Marx circa 1989. Mushroomy.

So, it's cut time. I gotta get some of this shite under control before it threatens my entire way of life. I think I'm the only person in the world who treats getting a haircut as such a life-changing decision. You may say "Farg, P...just go get the shit cut if you want it cut!"

But no...I cling to the brief hope (for 3-4 months) that my hair will look like this. Which won't ever happen,(you know) since I'm not 6'2", mus-clely, devilishly handsome...or Wolverine. I have been known, however, to burst out into show tunes. That's right... Haircut. It's time.

It's not all glamour.

Strangeness

So after the matinee, I trucked on down to the ‘Garage to soft pass a script. Many peeps reading the papers will have heard about all of the hard work that SR has put into the place, and does it show. (They even had some pretty cool feckin’ programs.) It was all kind of…humbling, to see it all. So when they all decided to head on over to Rude’s for a postie 2-fer, I naturally said "Yup". Mama 2 was kind enough to point out that I got to sibbye her Rice-liness (Okay, in fairness her man was on the other side) And I be all like: Ooooooo and Gooooo and having a ridiculous time forming complete sentences*. I talked to LSA about it, and she said that her husband does the same dang thing- Getting all flustered. A charming woman, with an incredibly generous spirit.
(*btw, it’s a new P practice for ‘06- Learning to keep my yapper shut. Let that be a lesson to you all- If I look quiet and contemplative, it’s probably because I’m really trying not to sound like an ass.)

To Redwright:
"Psst."
"What"
"She touched my leg"
"I know"
"It was by accident…but still"
At the end of the night, I think I committed myself to go on a portage trip through the boundary waters with her man. I do that a lot. This is the 2nd type of trip like that where I found myself invited without even realizing it. It’s like a drive-by invite. (Which is why I need a tattoo that says "No". Or maybe one that says "It seemed like a pretty good idea at the time")
There is a reason why I surround myself with those folks. They are really good for the soul. And if you get a chance I gotta tell ya: there is a distinct pleasure in obtaining a ssso.*





Later , "I met my ooooolllld lover for a drink last night. She seemed so glad to see me, I just smiled." We talked. We played catch up. We found out what we’d been up to for the last 3 years. The shows, vacations, what was coming up for us…It was good. It was nice.

And then 10:30pm came along, and I turned into a pumpkin. We sat there, very quietly for a few moments. Her eyes flickered over the video crack machine. Mine to the TV on the wall. We smiled at each other again.

"You have a big kid job tomorrow, huh?"
"Yup"
"Better get going"
"Yup"

And I got thinking= 3 years. We covered 3 years in 2 hours. And that was it. There just wasn’t a heck of a lot more to say.

We xchanged our #'s, and said we should get together next week or after the run is over. She gave me a big hug and a smooch. ("Your warm" /"I’m fat"/"Same old P")

And we parted. I don’t know why that just popped in there. But it did.

That was very nice.

A little slow to warm up to- but we did it! The show is up and running. Friday was a little quiet in the house ("Laugh and Clap, Bitches!" was muttered several times.) The ‘ography felt a little stiff, and I was way concerned that my blue bandana was distracting the heck outta the audience. Afterward we played Frogger, hoppin’ from bah to bah, (Finally landing at Barfly. Incidentally, it is feckin’ cool to have a brother who works DT. No Pay For Park! ) Shite. I just realized that I hadn’t been dancing in a goodly while. Probably not since big bro’s wedding. (And you know, I’m thinking that since 1/3 of the audience they were all watching the techniques. They can’t oooo and ahhh when they are focused on the technical piece.)

A tremendous crowd on Saturday (w/Redwright + Magrooders, Kaiser + Joy in attendance. Even Mama-San P showed up as a surprise!) They were hootin’ and hollerin’. The fights were tight, and it was so much fun to see how excited RSVP and MD were after receiving their well -deserved applause. ("Now I know why you do this acting thing, lil’brother!" /"Naw, I do this ‘acting thing’ for the trim. Swear.") It was just a tight show. I ended up hangin’ with the W’s at the Dragon for a minute, met up with TLC and FW (I’m not posting it here, but no Redwright- I’m not letting a brumski go. Well, at least not for another 5 minutes) I was invited to crash the CJ’s party later which was far too nice of him- Enjoyed some pate’ ("Pate’ Schmate’…I know F##king braunschweiger when I see it!" You’re a class act, P. All the way.) And ambled home to bed.

Which drags us to Sunday. I’m really not a yuge fan of Mat’s. Crowds tend to be fickle, sometimes thin, so I was pleasantly surprised that they were as responsive as they were. The crowd had such notables as my once and future roomie DeeT’s, Le Mitch and weef (I swear, if I hear "OMG, You are SO like your BROTHER" one more time. Or, "Which one of you is older?" That’s right batches, I got me some miles.) and the Bob with his loverly lady. Annnnnnnd some old school chums of mine, which is always a pleasure. (More on that in a later post)

So. It was chockablock full of Kung Fooey goodness. The body is welcoming a 3 day respite from full out fighting (My rotator cuffs are the worst. Weird, huh?) and also welcoming a respite from taking anti-inflam’s just to be able to get outta bed. Go here to see us mug: norefundstheatre.com

There you’ll see the coolness that is Wong and the cast. The pigtailedness that is MD. And the hotness that is Ro. (Redwright. He is darker bearded one)

And the dorkiness that is moi. Go see our show, readers.

What year is it?

Another ganked "me-me"


1.What did you do in 2005 that you'd never done before?
Won a trip to Vegas by doing an Elvis impersonation

2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I don’t believe in’em. Although I’m doing better on my resolve to get achieve "total wellness"

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Ish. Can you imagine that? You’re on the bus or something and "bawoooosh"! Someone’s water breaks.
(Sorry Kaiser- Funk and Snow had a peanut. Yes they did/)

4. Did anyone close to you die?
Not this year

5. What countries did you visit?
Vegas. It’s a foreign territory in and of itself.

6. What would you like to have in 2006 that you lacked in 2005?
A completely finished kitchen

7. What date(s) from 2005 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
11/30

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Settling into my house

9. What was your biggest failure?
Heh. Having romance and love prevent me from seeing the train coming before it was 2 inches from my face.

10. Did you suffer any illness or injury?
No. Heartsick was the worst of it. I think I’ll pass on going through that again for a while. Otherwise, I had a case of indigestion after binging on redwrights southern food. But it was worth it.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
Ginger-glazed Cathedral-style Maple cabinetry.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
The short list: Ro, Mom, Dad, M2, Redwright, Tallen, Nanook, Skilby, Ry-Gonn…That’s the selfish short list. Oh, and I'm going to jump on the bandwagon and say SR. If you know her, you love her. An amazing gal.

Annnnnd I'll stop there.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
Yeah. Online is a really wonderful place to air your dirty laundry. I’m a-gonna plead-ah the fifth-o.

14. Where did most of your money go?
Toward fixing up the Casa del P, and the evil plastic empires.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
What don’t I get really really really excited about?

16. What song will always remind you of 2005?
Golddigger

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder? I don't feel comfortable answering this question.
ii. thinner or fatter? Thinner. No one likes a skinny Santa
iii. richer or poorer? If wealth were to be determined by the amount of love shown by your family and friends, then I’m gonna have to say I’m making the Forbes list this year.

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
Theatre (I passed up way too many gigs) Travel. Learning to keep my big mouth shut. Schtupping...

And relaxing. I feel like I spent ’05 perpetually in motion. Does that make sense?

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
Worry. Cry.

20. How did you spend Christmas?
At the ‘rents during the am w/Ro+Co. It was loverly and low-key. (The night before was queer, but I haven’t spent X-mas at my parents since I was, what, 18?) That night I went to a few dinner parties, which were quite nice as well.

21. Did you fall in love in 2005?
HIT the buzzer. Yeh’ll rue the day yeh croshed me Trebek! (Can one actually type out "Connery-ism's" without them looking goofy?)

22. How many one-night stands?
I only have one nightstand. 3 drawers. No jimmy's.

23. What was your favorite TV program?
Noise. I don’t typically watch it.

24. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
I don’t "hate" anybody. You should be able to tolerate anyone and everyone. Everyone else isn't worth the time and energy needed to think about them.

25. What was the best book you read?
"The Professor and the Madman" and "DaVinci Code". Wonderful stuff.

26. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Re-discovering Project Pat's: "Make that A$$ clap"

27. What did you want to get?
Are these questions here to torture and abuse? A new bathroom, garage, hottub, 4 season addition, deck, privacy fence, a 3rd bathroom...Do I stop now?

28. What was your favorite film of this year?
Batman Begins, or SW:Ep III. Yes, pure geek.

29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
See #20. And it’s not the years, doll- It’s the mileage.

30. What one thing made your year immeasurably more satisfying? Completing house projects. Meeting incredible people. Annnnd the 3 shows I did/started ("Crimes", "Hank V", and Starting "KFH")

31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2005?
Taupe, is the new black.
(I’m corporate, yo. I got the khaki’s, so I can score with chicks.) Gap blue jeans and a loose shirt.
32. What kept you sane?
Ro, Mom, Dad, Redwright, Tallen, Nanook, Skilby, Ry-Gonn.
And me. I’m a pretty good "self-convincer"

33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Ugh. No more fancy. Jennifer Connelly hasn’t stopped calling me, dammit. Oooooo, does SR count, redwright? Damn those super-secret crushes!

34. What political issue stirred you the most?
Maybe not political, but dag yo’…Natural disaster’s abound.

35. Who did you miss? Heh. Right.

36. Who was the best new person you met? Not so much met, but getting to know better some of the peeps on the short list better has been nothing shy of spiritual.
And MD + the rest of the KFH yahoo’s are all pretty good eggs.

37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2005:

That it is ridiculous that so many cliche's are true. (And that love is an incredibly wonderful thing. I am a really moronic misty-eyed idealist, and this is corny as hell but if you look around you can see so many beautiful things. ) Annnnnd I learned how to text-message on my phone. (Even though I can only type in ALL CAPS right now.)

Friday, January 06, 2006

It's finally here

I love opening night.

I love it.

"God I love it so..." (Patton)

I also have a tremendous love (sometimes) for rehearsal. (And you know there are days where rehearsal sucks, but you find your love) I find validation being able to make discoveries, find moments, finding your voice. It is amazing to discover who you are when you are onstage.

When someone asks "what is the favorite play/character you've ever done?" I have a hard time answering that (ADHD, you know) I end up talking about a rehearsal when I was running MacBeth at the Paramount in the 'Cloud. I was rehearsing w/Lady MacDuff & son (The scene right before she gets whacked) and it became intensely real for all of 5 minutes before I (Ross) exited. Intense. When we got up for notes, the director was crying, the dramaturg was crying, and our movement coach had left the room. I just didn't get it.

Later, the director promptly changed our tactics and the scene never had the same "Oomph" after that, even during the run. It was like an incredibly fulfilling sexual encounter with a person, only to have the next time (and subsequent follow-ups) be quickies. That's the best analogy I can create. Make sense?

But, I still had the memory of the 1st time. ; 0

I love the nervous energy of being in tech, which creates invariably the (occasional) feeling of being ready to open. (Lord knows many of my gentle readers know the feeling of standing onstage during final dress quietly thinking "Oh fuck...what the fuck are we going to do?") The inevitable shouts of "Focus" and "We need it QUIET backstage, please". I love getting to the theatre early, running my blocking/'Ography/lines before anyone gets there. I love hovering backstage. Talking to my castmates. All the way to moment any incidental closing music starts and you wait offstage for your turn to bow. (On the flip side- for the more lackluster productions, when you think "Thank God, only ___ more performances!" Seriously. A s#ite show that runs for 2 weekends can end up feeling like 3 months in Western ND if it doesn't do anything for you.)

Love it. All.

I also happen to love 'Fu. I'm okay at it. I practice. I have a helluva coach at home. And, if it is all right to say- it's one of the few activities I've been involved in that I feel good at. (See previous comment about having a good teacher.)

So what happens when you mix the two together in a comical little gimmick show? A really good time. I'm awfully proud to have been part of this process and to have been able to meet and work with some really funny and talented people, and some really badass M.A's. And you know something else? It's rare to be in a show with this much support. You wouldn't think it from the outside, but the dude's/ette's in the show are extremely supportive of one and other. And gawdamn, I don't think I'd actually need an audience. Or when Dr. Wong sez something liek "Okay, you have good control on your spins, so I'm going to come in a lot closer. Cool?" Hell yeah. Or from the get go when it wasn't just "Okay, blocking blocking blocking..." when doing stagey combat- It was, ohhhh more like "CLASH" (Quote for the quote board: MD saying "Look you just need to come up behind me and fucking grab me, okay?" Post stronger bear-hug "Yeah, thas' better.") Or going full out in a fight and being asked to "slow it down" Cool.
Maybe that's it. It's effin' Cool.

Most importantly (to me), it's gratifying to be in a show with my big brother. Go figure, the serendipity/kismet/fated moment we're in a show together. (Considering he joined Karate and I hopped on the bandwagon right after. Oh well, you figure if he's going to be in a show- What could be more perfect for him?) And I know that ham is having the time of his life. It's been a painful, bittersweet, organic experience...and a fookload of fun. I really hope that people come and see this bad boy.

That being said, I wonder if I drank a bottle of Dit Da Jao, and started sweating it out my pores during the show- Would it cure all the bumps and bruises from the inside out? Discuss.

Quote for the day: (From the mouth of big brother) : "I fucking love this kung-fu shit!" (At the end of rehearsal) : "I fucking hate this kung fu shit"

Awwww yeeeeah.

(MD looks like she has track marks on top of her forearms. I thought I was getting carpal tunnel until I realized that it was just the numbness of getting whacked.)

Because these days, you want to know...

Ask me a question. Any question. And I'll answer it 100% honestly. However in return, I get to ask you a question back which you must answer with honesty as well.Anyone else can join in answering a question as well that has been previously asked, as if the question had been asked to them. They can then ask a question as well. And so on and so forth. Thinking of it as a confessional/get to know people pyramid scheme.Here's your chance, kids. That thing you've either been dying to know, or dying to get me to admit in a public forum. No holds barred, and anonymous comments are fair game.

I s'pose this is kinda dumb, since I am an open book in all things (Well, I reserve the right to withhold 25-32% of my life for privacy issues)

Ax away!

Thursday, January 05, 2006

My arm smells like Chinese Food.

Okay, so technically not food.


Our esteemed director brought a bottle of Dit Da Jao to rehearsal last night. For the layperson, it's a potent little mix to be rubbed on bruises and bumps, and is also rumored to "toughen the skin". It is favored by Kung Fu stylists, who tend to spar/practice using boo-too forearm strikes.

After our Hamlet used some on himself, he asked if I needed any (On the aforementioned "Ker-whacked" forearm) I agreed, and he did the applying and the rubbing and the smacking (Kinky, I know.) Ophelia had some put on her bruises (My bad girl. Until ya tell me otherwise I'm still gonna do it that hard. ) aaaaannnnd...

I took a sniff. Hmmmm...this smells like Chinese Food. Well, not exactly like Chinese Food, but you know. Like a poultice-homage to Chinese Food. And even after getting cleaned up afterwards, I still could faintly smell it this morning.


But... my arm isn't sore today. Dit Da JAO!!!!!

Wednesday, January 04, 2006

Kinda reminds me of "Short Circuit"

"# 5 is alive!!!", you know...back when Steve Guttenberg was cool?

I'm going out on a limb by saying 2005 was a re-dick year. Therefore, '06 will be for P:
  • A year of travel (I gotta line on trips, yo. SF, LA, NYC, I may even try Vega$ again...I'm gone)
  • Professional Growth (I've got way too many Business Analyst and Ins. Classes lined up. )
  • I'm going to get cast in challenging shows. (Not just the one's that beat the tar outta me.)
  • More time with Family
  • More time with Friends
  • More time on House Projects
  • More time at the Dojo

And most importantly- I'm sinking this introspection trend. I believe that I should take this year as an opportunity to experience the journey, and take a minute afterwards to reflect.

Bogarted from Portana "That which is 5 and good!!!"-

5 Snacks I Enjoy: The cherry at the bottom of a Tom Collins, Pinot Grigio, St.Croix Vineyards Raspberry Infusion Dessert Wine, Yogurt covered Pretzels

5 snacks I actually snack on: Yogurt, Carrot Sticks, Banana's, Fat Free Cottage Cheese, Plain Pretzels. Yeah.

5 Musical Artists I like: Sting (and the Police), Prince, Miles Davis, Sarah MacLachlan, Showtunes. (Read my profile fer pete's sake!)

5 Things I would do with $100,000,000: Ah, dreams. I would do quite a bit more than 5 things. The biggest would be becoming a social crusader. Those who have more, need to give more.

Top 5 Locations I'd run away to: The Maldives, Maui, Madrid, Sydney in the winter, 4 corners...God's Country. Even if you aren't outdoorsy, it is incredibly beautiful.

5 Bad habits I have: Idealistic (It's burned me before, badly. Just don't mistake it for naivety, dig? It's tough to have old-fashioned ideals about love, romance, respect, acceptance, understanding...when there are so many people out there that don't.) ADHD (Yeah. It creates the impression of absent-mindedness, and I have to make sure I say a name over again in my head to remember. I'm better at it than most) Anal Retentive. (No dishes, I like cleaning, dusting, laundry, the works. ) Self-Deprecating (To a fault. Chubs, Ugly, Dumb...I'm my own worst enema somedays. Other days, we're pretty good friends.) Talking too much. (Speaks for itself. I'm working on that. )

5 Things I like Doing: Travel, Cooking, 'Fu, Exercise, and Reading.

5 Things I would Never Wear: A thong. (Once...just once. It's bad enough if I have to wear a dance belt for a show) Pre-ripped jeans (WTF? This is a trend?) Pastel/Pink (Sorry. The last pink shirt I owned was from County Seat Outlet. Ocean Pacific, or Nuovo. Yes, my brother and I loved "Miami Vice") Piercings. (Ummm...it's cool if it works for you. Me? I'm a big nerve ending anyway...and I don't think I need that. Nips, Albert, Nose. I thought about it, and I just don't believe it's me. If there is a me.) Anything See-Through. (You don't wanna see that. More specifically, anything sheer-or like the fishnetty tank tops that were popular with guys circa 1982)

5 TV Shows I like: I'm not a big TV head. Actually it hasn't been on in over 5 weeks.

5 Movies I like: Yeesh. Considering how pop culture topical I am?

Okay: These'll constitute movies I can watch repeatedly, annually. They are like a good book that you know you can always fall back on.

Ghostbusters, Lord of the Rings Trilogy (It's all one story!), Star Wars (HEY, it's all one story!), The Count of Monte Cristo (2002...although this may fall out of the repetoire for a while) and one or all of the following (Not really "1", but I toss them together all the same) Kill Bills, Legend of Drunken Master, The Matrix, Kung Fu Hustle (A gem), Iron Monkey, Showdown in Little Tokyo, Rapid Fire (Seriously- Brandon Lee is one bad mamma jamma. And the Jeff Imada 'Ography is incredible) Best of the Best (So, I only fast forward this to the fights. Only because Phillip and Simon Rhee's Dad founded the concept that my karate school was based on. And the fights are bad-ass)


QUICK POLL!
Red Lobster or Olive Garden. I know that it isn't the Oceannaire or D'Amico Cucina...but work just gave me a $50 gift card for winning a voiceover demo contest and it's redeemable at both. DECISIONS DECISIONS!

(I'm gonna throw my hat 1st towards the 'Slobster. More mileage for seafood, ya know?)