Why does that award look like a $ex toy?

Another year, another Ivey's. Has it already been a year? I remember last year being warmer. Since most of my 4 readers are actor's, I'll skip the pre-requisite dither about "The Ivey Awards are a way of recognizing the rich and colorful palatte which comprises the Twin Cities Theatre Culture". I always have a blastola at these things, and truth is it's about as close to a gussy-up awards ceremony as I'll attend. That, and the fact that I love a party- I'm there.

Although, I had no business being at work yesterday. Why? Welllll, it's a pretty simple formula really:

What does 1 designated driver (Dorajar) 2 flasks (Mine and Mo's) and a frassy ADHD addled dork equal? Tiiiipsy Baby P! (And I'm loathe to type drinking blogs, but this is the party of parties) See, we are smart creatures of nature, we are. We remembered that last year at the after party (And let's face it, the before party.) getting kinda gouged due to the price of drinks- ($9 glasses of Pinot Grigio, I might add). I feel this was semi-remarkable as most of the Ivey attendee's are, in fact, poor actors and usually can get by with paying that amount with a little extra as tip for their entire bar tab at Market. So, flasks were in order. (Very necessary for some....cough cough...of the musical numbers)


Stories...Hmmmm

-When I first spied Mo, she took my breath away. I'd like to inform the fashionista's that I contributed to her earring selection, thank you
-We decided to have Chinese Niblets for dinner. Something novel about two folks in their fineries, hunched over Steamed Chicken and sticky rice.
-Like last year, I ran into RT Rybak before the Ivey's, AGAIN. And I called him "Your Eminence" AGAIN. (A joke I find profoundly funny. It got a chuckle from his grace. He'll remember me someday)
-Sneaking a Ginormous clove of garlic off of X's dinner plate at Palomino b4 hand. Since I get very affectionate on the drink, and if I happened to kiss you good night, and if your eyebrows melted off as a result-Sorry. I have a make-up pencil you can borrow.
-Seeing all my mates gussied up like that warms my heart. Redwright, FeeJ, Red 2, SR, Huge, Duddy, LSA, Adia, Jabas...the list goes on and on...
-Getting huge hugs from people. (And y'all know my feeling on big hugs. Love)
-Melinite looked great, but I kept on with the "Matrix" references when I probably shoulda just STFU
-Running into people who were telling me I need to see their next show.
-Making very sure I told people they look great. (Seriously. I would have kicked myself in my own balls if I had forgotten to tell a single soul. Staring, does not constitute praise)
-Getting a hug from the Old Man, which surprised me. Later in the evening, apparently I grabbed his a$$. At that point, I don't remember how many people I did that too.
-How many people can I possible hug and kiss good-bye? Apparently, a lot
-After Gremlin Theater was announced, whispering into PH's ear "Who the f#ck are those guys?"
-When SR was up on stage saying to my date"Well, it's a good thing she's ugly...sheesh"
-Laughing my a$$ off at the Church Basement Ladies and the Sez She monologue.
-X, Dorajar, and I all taking a loooong solemn pull during the show. You know...
-Screaming when CC won
-After party was much spacier. At least we had the almost the whole of the Crystal Court to move around
-HOWever, $9 Chardonnay? F##k that
-Seeing my super secret crush SF and getting ANOTHER huge hug. For some reason I always think that she won't remember me. ("Why?" sez Mo. "Because she's 12?")
-Convincing a photog from some Twin Cities rag to take a picture of FW and I. AND, thinking the caption in the paper would read "Twin Cities stage veteran FW and some random douchebag enjoy drinks at the post-Ivey's party"
-I probably didn't talk to enough people. Schmooze, network, whatever.
-By the end of the night, that was probably a good thing. I woulda embarrassed the hairy fuck out of myself by saying something untoward, or smacking the Lifetime Award winner's a$$ saying "AttaBOY Tiger!". I would have been sincere and meant it and all...just probably not cricket.


(sighs) Truth is...I'll probably be remembered as the tuxedo'ed guy that chased after the appetizer server's gorging himself on the tartare and cucumber slices, groping everyone and reeking of garlic and Dolce & Gabbana.

So dearest readers who may have also been Ivey attenders- Sorry if I was obnoxious/didn't say good-bye/etc...Crowds and cocktails make for Baby P at his most flibbertygibbeted...

But I love you. And any event that celebrates the wonderful and expansive family that is, in fact, the TC Theatre community is a truly beautiful gathering. And I do mean that.

Now would someone please fucking cast me already? ; P