Consider the source...

So, do you know my idea of a perfect day? And not the "me-me" kind we sometimes answer.

For me, it’s a day with no agenda. Either personal, or itinerized. And so, my bit chompers, Saturday is going to be presented in the form of "bullets" and "sound bites". While it may seem cryptic, we sayer’s of said sound-bites think that they are hilarious, and are the most accurate depiction of the day. If it seems random, well, that’s kind of the way the day was: Random. Anything else can and will be left to speculation. So have at it. (Ya Goofballs.)

To the hot server at the Egg and I who noticed a fabric softner sheet had fallen from my pant leg (I’m classy): "I’ve LOST MY POWER!!!" . I think she thought we were cool after that.

To the same server, who noticed when the Rambler almost left her scarf behind: "HER POWERS!"

"Heartily" is a funny word. "You had heartily shut the door before I missed you"…The Japanese guy in line at the Egg and I thought it was funny anyway.

(At Urban Harvest, from the Barrista) "That’s a great wallet"/"Thanks. It’s Goat" (Always gotta bring things back to the Faso, doncha Rambler?)

(On the "Stems and Vines" store kitties) "Kitty time is never wasted"

(On our parents) "My dad is into meditation"/"That means he naps"

"There will be no thinking allowed. Thinking is outlawed in Taylors Falls. Police, like, issue citations for it"

Regarding the concierge ("Mr.Walrus") at the hotel who took forEVAH to come out and check me in ("I think we seriously interrupted that dude’s bong-time.")

Cable cooking show on making everything with Apples: "Um, if you are using a hand crank ice cream maker, do you need to be on a glacier?" The cooking show hosts body language while "cranking the cream" was worth 5 minutes of laughter.

Same show, new comment "Next on the show, ‘Fermenting Ball-Sweat Ale’…"

On figure skating: "Somebody had to invent this?"/"The Russians"

On the play we read: "Well, there’s really only one way to read it."

About Schmidt: "Dear, Ndugu…"

On bloody mary’s: They are good day starters

Sidebar: We entered a used bookstore/antique store/mystical bongo earth Mother store. It was cool, but weird. The owner sort of "Bamfed" and materialized behind the counter in a wisp of brimstone and scarves. I left the rambler to chat while I checked out some antiques. A very sweet lady, we talked about drum circles and her art ($3600 for my favorite piece? Ehhhh, I don’t think so) I opted to support the town, and bought a small framed print of a Marseille Port that I thought was pretty. The Rambler and I checked out some used books, which is where we’ll continue our journey:

(Actual used book title: "Conversations with God")
"Hey P"/"Hey God…what’s up?"/"Not much, seeing what you’re up to tonight?"/"Eh, I’m probably gonna stay in and watch ‘Lost’. You?"/"Eh, I’m gonna head out to Nye’s around 9"/"Cool, well, hit me on my cell if you wanna hang or something"/"Cool dude…later"

"I’m going down to the bottom, RAPture…"/"I fucking hate Lorie Line"

(We "sneak in" to the Park)
"I fucking hate boat rides. Fuck you, boat rides"
"I feel like a New Yorker"
"I don’t think we can go down that way" (Only funny b/c we said it, ohhhh, 3 or 4 times)
"I dare you to step out onto the ice"/"I dare myself to say ‘Fuck No!’ "
"I fucking hate man hole covers. Fuck you manhole covers"/"Man-hole covers, btw…"

"What do you want to do?"/"Well, you’re going to want to eat later"/"Great. I’ll eat, and what are you going to do? Sit there and watch me?"

"We can talk about that later…"/"BULLET POINT!"

"We should make up responses to things like ‘Hey, How are you doing today?"/"I’m Tide with Bleach, baby…Tide-With-Bleach"

"Are you still reading that book?"/"Yeah, no…It started getting to be all about ‘Building these fortresses’, and ‘How high are the walls?’ and ‘Do you have enough guards?’ and ‘Are their bows sharpened?’…)

(Inserting a brief respite for dinner at the lobby bar. I had an underwhelming grilled chicky sammich and revolting salad. Rambler enjoyed 5 out of 8 quesadillas. We continued drinking)


"Thank you for being honest with me"/"Doi"


(On the sexy seniors who were dining across the restaurant) "I see your demographic there"/"Cool. Okay, we’re going to leave together, and theeeeeen I’m gonna come back in and ask if anyone has an extra towel.."
(On pool) "Sometimes it’s fun just to hit the balls"
(On the Juke) "Oooooo they have ‘Frat Rock!’/"Oh Fuck No!"
(On human sacrifice) "Excuse me, do you have ‘carb friendly’ human blood?

(Soundbites on s#itty T.F. hotel hot tubs)
"You’re like, the ‘B-Squad’ Siren. Luring Greek Sailors to the overheated hot tub"/ "The fucking jets don’t work? FUCK!"/ "You were so unhappy with the hot tub"

(On early curfews)
"No one is going to believe we went to bed at 10:30pm."

(On early risers)
"No one is going to believe we got up at 7:30am"/"I woke up thinking about breakfast"

(On dad-blasted WI restaurants who should serve breakfast, but don’t)
"I fucking hate Eichten$. Fuck you, Eichten$!"

(On the fact that there were no breakfast places between Hwy 8 and 35W, then 35W until Co Rd 88)
"Um, where do these people eat?"
"I bet if ‘Trappers’ served breakfast it would be pretty good"

(On "the Perk")
"I’d like 12 Tremendous 12’s…so, like, the Tremendous 144 and stuff"/"Good math"
" I am so intrigued by Wilmer" (Our server)
"So, sir let me get this straight: You want a glass of water (yes), a large orange juice (yes), and a coffee? (yes)" (Rolls his eyes)
"I think I laughed too loud, I’m getting reproachful gazes"/"I really feel like having sausage"

"I’m gonna have to post that tomorrow"/" What’s sad is that we’re not going to remember half this funny shit tomorrow"

So.

There is the play by play. I’ll probably have clarifiers thrown in by the Road-Trip-Buddy. The lesson? Good days are rare.

How about y’all? When was the last time you had a really good day. I've got a few that I could mention, but I'm hoggin' the airspace...