Friday Foon/Loove

So I feckin' tried getting my oil changed yesterday since I'm, ohhh, 50 miles over...and they run out and say "Sorry, there'll be a 25 minute wait." Jiffy my ass. Then they proceed to back in the big oil refill rig right behind me, trapping me in. Um, you can't force me to stay, Mr. Jiffy's!!! I will FREE myself


I finally got to see Closer last night. (Pretty good all told). The set and lights were pretty, the acting was fine, I guess my mood wasn't one where I wanted to watch 4 characters with absolutely no redeeming qualities. (I said to ES and Jabas "ES, you were despicable, and Jabas was Pathetic") I appreciated the acting, it's just that the characters were so...loathesome. Probably not a show I could have watched 2 months ago, but still pretty good. Check it out if ye ken. I plan on writing a follow up play called "Farther"

After, Jabas and I hit Preston's w/some of the 12th nacht casties and dished about the show. His schedule is freeing up now, so he and his S.O. have committed to coming over for dinner one of these nights in the near future. We jibbered about "taking breaks" and "needing a break" from the stage, and all agreed that you can't-or rather shouldn't feel compelled to audition for everything that comes your way just for the sake of staying in shows. (Auditioning for practice/experience...fine. But I'm saying don't comb the paper/'net finding who's doing what where and audition if you don't feel strongly about the piece.) I got home late...again...


And I was thinking about this: How do you know when it transcends "like" and goes into "love"?

I don't really think about it much. For me, it's sort of "when you know, you know." I know that (as I get more mileage) I appreciate the amount of unconditional love I have inside. It's comforting to see it out there. To know that I have the capacity to project that, and envelop my family and friends with all the warmth and generosity of spirit I can give them. To know that my love is forgiving, understanding, strong, and unconditional. That's pretty powerful. And again, that's why it's comforting to have. It feels wonderful. And I'm grateful that I have the ability to feel comfortable enough to say it to others.

Oh. When it's "love-love"? Like, falling in love with another person?

It's when you lose the capacity to have a choice in the matter, and when you know that there can be no one else for you, but them...

It's like I'm a shell...a transparent shell of who I am. The simmering "like" goes to up to a boiling point where you find that you can't keep those words inside. There are two times I remember saying it...like, "for real" where that was the case. (It actually sort of came out like "Gahhhhh"and It felt like I had a pained expression on my face. )

You just look at the person and know that "I don't think I can spend another second right here in front of you without saying it. There is no real way I can articulate...this, but I love you..." It's cathartic, lugubrious, and the boiling cools immediately to a comfortable "ahhhhhh..."

It's usually followed up with a kiss (es)

You know what I'm saying? You can't stop thinking about them. Every day, they comprise some part of your waking, and sometimes sleeping thoughts. Doi. Why do you think, my readers, that everyday you are somewhere in my thoughts. Every-Day. And it's b/c of love.


Gahh. I've had quite some time to dwell on the subject. Maybe seeing such a dark play last night got the gears spinning in my brain on the fragile and finite subject of love. Hearing too many familiar words spoken between two people who are supposed to be in love.

Or I spend too much time on the C-board. Maybe it's bc I have seen/spoken with so many loving people lately. And discovered other wonderful and loving people who are just, sort of...out there.

Or is it a reminder of something else entirely?

(sighs) Away with ye, ye daft poncey poet P.