Kiped from Portana...a "Blue" list! (Real answers at the bottom)


1-Had sex with someone ten years older or younger than you? Hell no. 35 to 40 years…yowza. Love me them sexy seniors. Grrrrrowlza!*

2-Drawn from a nude model? I’ve "With"drawn from a nude model, but only because they were holding a gun at me. Hey, I didn’t know that when the robe comes off it wasn’t an open invitation to HEY OHHHH!**

3-Had sex at a company Christmas party? If by sex you mean "Got tipsy and made an ass of myself" then yes. ***

4-Had a blind date? Yup. Deaf too. (And here, RSvP is where we insert the awful HK jokes) ****

5-Slept with a teacher? Hell no! I went straight for the Superintendent! Go big or go home, I say. *****

Bonus (as in optional): had sex with someone within an hour of meeting them? Yeah, but it’ll probably never happen again. It's too cost prohibitive. Fast-Acting roofies are 3 x’s more expensive than the regular ones.******


* Had a close call once- After sharing a pitcher of IPA with a friend I was solicited at Prestons by a woman who was, I think, 21 or 22 years older than I? (I was 23 at the time) I just remember standing up and getting ready to leave with her when my friend hooked his thumb in my back belt loop and said: "No dude. No."

**Ugh. I had an ex draw a picture of me nude. I didn't pose for it, Ya perv's, and I remember that she was very proud that she drew it from memory. (Short memory...cough cough). I’ve contemplated painting a nude female silhouette picture for that antique Dykeman Frame to hang in my house, though. Don’t ask. The nude feminine form in art fascinates me in a big bad way.

***Most of the companies I’ve worked with have never had X-mas parties. Maybe if you count the Theatre X-mas party…where I got chummy with a gal. I mean, not at the party but several months later. I need time to build up my old cheap moves, you know?

****I frassed about this one. It was really on a whim, and it was the roommate of a girl my big brother was dating circa 1994. Really cool girl, name of Mo. (Funny, right?) Had a great day. Great date. And never saw/spoke to her again. And I guess technically I went out with someone last January on a whim and it felt very "datish"…same deal though. My track record with blind dates isn’t so good. I’ll stick to the seeing eye dates from here on out, thanks.

*****Too weird. Although I told Moseph’s that her friend (And former HS english teacher) buddy Leynie would definitely have been crushworthy in high school.

******Seriously now. My all new old cheap moves take years of planning, and months to implement. It would take a woman at LEAST an hour to make the determination that I’m not completely psychotic. Just mostly to partly psychotic with a chance of afternoon showers.