Day two was meant fer hiking...

I know breakfast isn’t a great topic to start off with, but I need to tell you about the magical cowboy pancakes. Imagine a breakfast that is only $1 All you can eat cake-age. I asked the good cowboy Horton (Who was in the process of making a magical pony pancake for a little girl. BTW, he can and will make you a Spider Man Pancake if you want.) what the record number was.

"Some feller done et himself 28 pancakes wunce." "28?". "Yup". "I think I can beat him". (I didn’t. But I did eat me some cakes. Needed some fuel for the day, knowwhutI’msayin?)

Moseph and I would watch the new pankcakers arrive and try to guess how many they would eat ("I’d peg that guy at a solid 17." "Ummmm, I don’t think so. I don’t think he’ll get past 15…wait. Shit, he’s getting biscuits and gravy!") When we were done, we decided to plan our day…which can seem daunting when it’s two flibbertigibbets doing the planning.

We knew that we wanted to hike. (And we knew that a 1.5-hour jaunt to Devils Tower would invariably be 3 hours out of our day for driving.) We knew we wanted to see Rushmore. So Mo the diplomat went and asked the cute campground boy for fun, leisurely day hikes. So, he points us in the direction of Custer Park and Harney Peak. ("Horny Peak? That’ll NEVER get old!") Apparently this place is the highest point between the Appalachians and the Rockies. How the highest point is deemed "leisurely" is beyond me, but we wanted to get out and move so we moved.

You know, I’ve always seemed to remember Rushmore as being a tad underwhelming. You know? I was wrong. Way wrong. There they were. The guys. ("Look. Roosevelt’s wearing a mini-yarmulke."/"I think that’s for fireworks, hon") We meandered down to the Borglum muesem (If you’ve ever driven I-90 out West, it’s the museum that is advertised almost as much as Wall Drug. Threatens you, actually. Practically calls you a Commie if you don’t go.) It was actually pretty frassin’ cool. We checked out the whole shebang, and stopped for a moment to read all of the famous presidential quotes.

"We hold these Truths to be self-evident, that all Men are created equal, that they are endowed, by their Creator, with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness."

And we cried a little bit. Just a little bit.

We had a brief M.O.F (Moment of Frass) after we left when it was discovered that we were almost outta gas. (Moses pulled me outta that one "Hey, if you’re gonna run outta gas you might as well do it when you’re on an adventure.") But we arrived at the trail head and started for the peak. The trail was top-shelf gorgeous, with flecks of hematite causing the footpath to glint like jewels. ("Is that broken glass?"/"Yeah. We’re on Broken Beer Bottle Trail") By the time we neared the peak, we were both pretty peaked out. (We didn’t pack any nibbles, and probably could’ve stood to bring a 2nd bottle of water) The last leg of the trail was a series of "too-high" granite stairs that lead to the peak. ("These aren’t stairs! These are like, foot and a half fuck-you’s!") After releasing some ballast (prrrrrt) we finally arrived at the peakable.

And it was beautiful. Spectacular even. And worth every step. The trip back down was infinitely easier, btw. ("I think I’m gonna go for a jog when we get back to camp"/"Sure, P.")

We did not, in fact, run outta petrol and we were able to get back to the cute lil’ town of Hill City. Instead of hitting the Presidential wax museum ("I’ll have too much of a desire to bring in a matchbook when we get to the 2000-2008 Pooch-Screwing Pressies") we opted to try a little wine tasting at the local winery.

There is a reason So Dak isn’t known for it’s wine. Ugh.

Fearing hunger would overcome us, we headed back to camp for dinner and it was here that we decided to have ourselves a movie night. That’s right. In the middle of Goddess and Nature, we peeled open the laptop and watched "Labyrinth" like we were at a drive-in. It was awesome.

Then…crashed.

For reference:

Rushmore:
http://www.nps.gov/moru/

Horny Peak: (Mo, did you see the plaque covering the dead guys ashes?)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Harney_Peak

Labyrinth:
http://imdb.com/title/tt0091369/