Phantom of the Ass-Ra, subtitled:

Proving once again Joel Schumacher can royally fuck up a movie. Thanks for Batman, ya porkchop.


Sure, there were some pretty costumes, and a scant few (FEW) moments that were actually quite spectacular. J said "They totally lifted that from Moulin Rouge". That got me thinking, do you all wonder if, say, after "Citizen Kane" people said of subsequent films "Ohhhh, they lifted that from 'Citizen Kane'...just curious. I guess what killed the movie for me was terrible sound editing (Guys, when I notice shite like sound editing being all fouled up, you know the filmmakers effed it up.) Then there was a phantom who sounded like Arnold Schwarzenegger when he sang, ("Fo Ah COM-pose dah moosic uff dah Naaaarrghht! " Say it like Arnie... it made J laugh) and who was (quote) "Too Pretty", according to J. Apparently she and Patrick Wilson (Raoul) did a show many years ago at the Ordway.

"Oh my God, that's Patrick!"
(me) "Yeah?"
"Yeah, we totally did R and J together back in '98! Ohhhh Patrick"
(moi) "Stop calling him 'Patrick' like he was our neighbor or something."
"He's got some kick ass money notes"
(me) "Faaaaaag"
"________, that's not very nice"
(me...putting on a Phantom half mask) "I'm go kick he ass!!!!"
"_______!"
(me) "Didn't the dude from movie 'Critters' direct that show you did?"
"Terrence Mann, yes. Take that thing off"
"Huh.....did you know that Leonardo DiCaprio was in, like Critters pt 2 or 3?"
(Turning back to the crapfest movie) "Mmmmmmmm?"
(Me, turning back to Emily Rossum's push up bra) "Frickin'...Patrick Wilson. Dick"
Funnier in my head, folks.

I think I'll write three posts today. You asked for it!!! No, you didn't....Mmmwha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!!


Quote from Terrence Mann:
"Movies will make you famous; Television will make you rich; But theatre will make you good."