I eat like shite.

Due to all the flak I get regarding my diet, I'm getting pretty self conscious nowadays 'cause of how I eat. I can't help it folks, since my dad's angiogram in 1989, my family just started eating healthier. I just stayed with it. (Sorry mom, dad, and bro.)

If you've ever read what a bodybuilder or athlete's in training eat- that's me. Not the 3 to 5000 calories, but the type food: Plain. Plain water packed tuna, which illicit's the "Ewwww, what's that smell" response from my co-workers (Now I have to make stealth trips into the breakroom to open the can, get it ready, clean out the can, and hope that no one is the wiser. Still, it can't smell anyworse than their burned microwave popcorn or shitty lean cuisine. )

I do egg beaters (AGAIN with the gay!!!??) or use egg whites when cooking, what bread we have is whole grain, and most everything else has taken on a tinge of fat-freeness. (Including cheese, much to my cheese-lovin fiancee's chagrin. For the record, we get his and her cheeses now.) I steam, I grill, I broil (in lieu of frying), I don't eat much of the sweets (again, abhorrent to the fiancee- who makes Kemps Cow Tracks part of her nightly ritual), and cripes I've even taken to eating low-sodium turkey breast from the deli- plain. (W/a little spicy mustard.) And I even get my 5 servings of veggies daily. Usually plain.

And yes, co-workers, I count the calories and stay away from your Krispy Kreme Fridays. I've discovered the intrinsic joy of 'za with veggies in lieu of meat, (Record # 2; Luce' has some of the best vegetarian pizza's around- And I ain't no vegetarian), love me the Canyon Trail mix, and yes...yes: We even Juice.

And I do this every-single-day.

I've even turned the tables on the naysayers, the weekend athletes and fad-dieters- You know the ones. I give them right back the sneers and digs with my own underhanded commentary. Go on! Go on and Drink that Diet Coke with your cheesecake! They counteract each other, DaVinci! HERE's the latest: Reading a fellow blogger waxing poetic on her beef stew/beef gravy just grosses me OUT. BLEARGH! Or a few weeks ago, while sampling a chili recipe I said "Do you know what makes for good chili? Brown tofu in BBQ sauce." The person looked at me and laughed. You know the laugh? Where they stop laughing and get the "Oh, you aren't joking" face. Whatev. Atkins followers? Get some balance. You'll choke your brain.

While I do have my concession's to fame ( The occasional buffet's, Skinny mocha's, I'm a sucka fo' Cheesecake, seasoned french fries will twist my arm, and I appreciate really great cut of steak.) I'm now slowly cutting out the remaining naughty-naughties that once helped to balance my life (Caffeine, Carcinogens, and wine.) and progressing through my 30's with this crazy idea that the best way to stay healthy...is to eat less-eat healthier-and exercise. To those gross hypocrites who bitch about their weight while shovelling Hamburger Helper Hotdish in their mouth? Figure it out. It takes work (Not Hollywood 3 hour a day/6 day a week work w/a nutrionist..but, y'know- a little discipline.) And, it works for me anyway. Dear God, I weigh the same (less) now than I did 12 years ago in High School.

Now if you'll excuse me...I need to finish my barfy green tea.