Humor from the dojo...

Sample email from P and his brother:

Bro: Hey_____, do you still have/use that katana?
Me: Yes I do. Why?
Bro: Could I possibly borrow/buy it from you?
Me: No...you can have it, dingle-fritz...jeez louise. I'd be honored if it found it's way into somebodies hands who would use it. BTW, why do you need it? You aren't mad at your wife are you?
Bro: No, I'm practicing my Gum Do sword-drawing...I'd like something else besides the bokan to work with.

I suppose the above dialogue is only funny to me. Anyway, I find that I am guilty of more than one of these. Much more than one...

You know you've been in the martial arts too long when...

*you say to the salesman in the men's store, "Nice pants, but I don't think
I can kick in them."
*when you want to say "I'm sorry" and involuntarily bow.
*you go to the shoe store to try on shoes. Instead of walking or jogging
around the store, you practice pivoting, sweeps, stances and kicks. You
check to see if the shoe has a sufficiently hard striking surface and
whether it protects the toes well. and lastly, you don't even care if (and
they probably are) the other patrons are looking at you funny. (That's the
big clue.)
*When you hit your head on a low doorway or ceiling and kick it in anger and
damage it.
*when you're practicing your arm blocks while driving down the highway,
notice someone in another car staring at you, and suddenly turn your block
into vigorously fanning away an imaginary fly.
*when you use various strikes to turn lights off and on;
*don your clothing with kicks, thrusts, and punches.
*open and close doors with spinning kicks.
*find yourself idly doing iaido and kenjitsu moves with the plastic knives
at the fast food place.
*can't walk by anybody else from your school without casually exchanging a
flurry of mock strikes and kicks
*leap to your feet and shriek with indignation while watching "Kung Fu",
"Walker, Texas Ranger", and "Highlander" at home.
*find yourself practicing bo staff techniques in miniature with your pencil
during dull meetings.
*try to backfist the correct floor button on the inside of the elevator,
based on your memory of the button's location, before you get in far enough
to see it.
*notice you never stand with your arms crossed or your hands in your
pockets.
*tend to keep at least one flavor of martial arts weapon close at hand by
your bed when you sleep.
*buy shoes either because they're particularly flexible or have steel toes.
*When standing in line you find yourself practicing some stance from your
art.
*When you bow going into and out of the bathroom.
*When you don't use any tools while splitting firewood.
*When you are introduced to someone and you bow to greet them.