Well. It was a pretty darn good movie. Thanks again to Kaiser for hookin' us all up w/ tix (We all seemed to split rather quickly, didn't we?) Anyway, G7 does look rather thin, Raven. I think he shoulda finished my 'corn.
Oh! The movie?
I liked it a lot. It starts off strongly and ends exactly how you may have wanted it to end (Or rather, how it should since it leads into the SW we all know and love.) Yeah, I had some minor peccadilloes with some of the less than inspired dialogue. (I rolled my eyes BIG time during the final "Noooooooooo!". It was kinda like a Simpsons episode.) And Arrrrrgh- The whole Padme/Anakin thing coulda worked, except Portman was nothing in the movie. Literally. Nah-thing. Ultimately that was what really bit me on the butt during the whole movie- Staying focused while the clunky ass exchanges took place until the next cool action sequence.
But- that's where the movie excels- The action moves like a SW movie should. (Although, with the final fight- while cool- still looked a little like they were waving their lightsabers back and forth.) All the fights that take place kick ass, and fans and non-fans alike will be endeared to the "moments" that pop out. (Yoda first confronting Sidious comes to mind. He walks in the room aannnnd Bye Guards. J laughed out loud at that one.)
So, my final grade is "C" for Chipotle. They just stuffed waaay too much into this movie, when really this movie could have been made into three. BUT, the filler was enough to satisfy me, and I really feel that the series is complete.
I liked it.
Thursday, May 19, 2005
Wednesday, May 18, 2005
Mmmm, hm hm hm
Um, I'm like gonna see Star Wars tonight? Like my mind can focus on anything else right now. (Except maybe getting streaked by my fiancee'. THEN you'd see how fast I can take my pants off. 0 to Pantless in, like, 5 parsecs. See? Back to the Star Wars references.)
I'll go home, nap, and be at the theatre by 10-ish. I'm sure there'll be a snaky line of fans already in place. (Cripes, that dorkus out in Seattle has been waiting for Ep.III tix since January. Were they even pre-selling that far back? Fooked Up.) I asked J if I can wear my robe and lightsaber and she said Nay. So, I've figured out something slightly Jedi-y that will be a subtle homage to my love of this crazy pop culture phenom. Kaiser, the Deeb, G7 and Raven, RiPkE and CeRT's, CalienteCarlos + Girl, Ry-Gonn + Girl. I couldn't be happier to spend the wee hours with a finer group of geeks. Thanks Kaiser, for picking up the tix. Ry-Gonn is bubbling right now, and I could hardly understand his voicemail he left me. Something like:
"OmigodmumbledyfribbledyDarthenFlabberdabbergomflargitSouthdalenstuffn10righthopesocallmebyepoooooooo"
So, Ry says thanks, even if he can't form a coherent sentence right now. He's a wookie.
On an unrelated note, there is an 90 min Smallville on tonight that will show 6 minutes of footage from the Nolan Directed "Bat-Newsies". Sweeeeeet.
I'll go home, nap, and be at the theatre by 10-ish. I'm sure there'll be a snaky line of fans already in place. (Cripes, that dorkus out in Seattle has been waiting for Ep.III tix since January. Were they even pre-selling that far back? Fooked Up.) I asked J if I can wear my robe and lightsaber and she said Nay. So, I've figured out something slightly Jedi-y that will be a subtle homage to my love of this crazy pop culture phenom. Kaiser, the Deeb, G7 and Raven, RiPkE and CeRT's, CalienteCarlos + Girl, Ry-Gonn + Girl. I couldn't be happier to spend the wee hours with a finer group of geeks. Thanks Kaiser, for picking up the tix. Ry-Gonn is bubbling right now, and I could hardly understand his voicemail he left me. Something like:
"OmigodmumbledyfribbledyDarthenFlabberdabbergomflargitSouthdalenstuffn10righthopesocallmebyepoooooooo"
So, Ry says thanks, even if he can't form a coherent sentence right now. He's a wookie.
On an unrelated note, there is an 90 min Smallville on tonight that will show 6 minutes of footage from the Nolan Directed "Bat-Newsies". Sweeeeeet.
Tuesday, May 17, 2005
Sooooo, 3rd post...Episode III
Yeah.
I'll post something pithy to say tomorrow, say "Opening Eve"
If you've read any pre-reviews on the movie or opinions of the first 2 (Ep's I and II) you'll probably find my sentiment in them, as well as sentiment towards the original, original trilogy. (Han did shoot first, btw.) Favorites include how in I and II, GL decided to focus more on "the landing of a spacecraft" as opposed to telling a story, or how he pandered to the kiddies, etc. My deal is, really, it was his time to (technilogically speaking) "paint a pretty palatte". Story and substance were sacrificed in lieu of being able to flex his ILM muscle to say "Look what we can do now." The audiences (and Fans alike- Meaning the one's who had dreamed up prequel stories in the 16 years since the 1st one hit the theatre) were non-plussed, and left thinking that he had painted a very pretty, pretty picture. About milling sheep. (Fans of Mr. Steve Martin, thank me for my insight)
But in the words of my good friend Rev. Kessen- "They were fuckin' 'Star Wars' movies, man!!!" So. Nay sayers, and fans alike can bitch and moan, or rejoice and sing...I don't rightly care. I'll probably agree with several points either way. And either way. I'll be in line, circa 10:00pm ish tomorrow night with the rest of them. Dreaming my jedi dreams. And throwing in my old school Eps 4 through 6 the next day.
More on my personal mythology, if yer interested, tomorrow. I have to polish my imaginary lightsaber. May the force be with you always.
I'll post something pithy to say tomorrow, say "Opening Eve"
If you've read any pre-reviews on the movie or opinions of the first 2 (Ep's I and II) you'll probably find my sentiment in them, as well as sentiment towards the original, original trilogy. (Han did shoot first, btw.) Favorites include how in I and II, GL decided to focus more on "the landing of a spacecraft" as opposed to telling a story, or how he pandered to the kiddies, etc. My deal is, really, it was his time to (technilogically speaking) "paint a pretty palatte". Story and substance were sacrificed in lieu of being able to flex his ILM muscle to say "Look what we can do now." The audiences (and Fans alike- Meaning the one's who had dreamed up prequel stories in the 16 years since the 1st one hit the theatre) were non-plussed, and left thinking that he had painted a very pretty, pretty picture. About milling sheep. (Fans of Mr. Steve Martin, thank me for my insight)
But in the words of my good friend Rev. Kessen- "They were fuckin' 'Star Wars' movies, man!!!" So. Nay sayers, and fans alike can bitch and moan, or rejoice and sing...I don't rightly care. I'll probably agree with several points either way. And either way. I'll be in line, circa 10:00pm ish tomorrow night with the rest of them. Dreaming my jedi dreams. And throwing in my old school Eps 4 through 6 the next day.
More on my personal mythology, if yer interested, tomorrow. I have to polish my imaginary lightsaber. May the force be with you always.
Depp. Grrrrrrr!
"He chooses such GREAT movies"
"He's mega hot..."
"He's a tremendous actor"
Three quotes, which seem to always be involved in any conversation about Johnny Depp. Even my dad thinks he is a terrific film actor (My dad doesn't dole out that kinda praise. He also hasn't commented whether or not he thinks Mr. Depp is hot, but he HAS said that "It helps to be good looking.") Whatever. He'll always be Officer Tom Hanson. Jump Street porkchop. He's now up with McConnaughey in the "P is irrationally jealous of them " file.
So I guess it goes w/o saying that he kicked some arse again in "Finding Neverland". I'm not gonna say that like, oh, with the same tired breath as one would've said "The Yanks won the Series, again..." but it seems that even a bad, or mediocre film get's brought up by that very dorks presence. (See "Secret Ass-Dow" for an example).
"F.N." shows what it means for someone who is so passionate about the world he creates-in his imagination, and invariably the positive effects it has on those around him. For me growing up, this was something my folks never wanted to stymie in my brother or myself. I guess it just hit closer to home than I expected, and yes- I had a lump in my throat (although not as bad as when I saw "Big Fish") . Check it out if you have time. I dare you to keep a dry eye during the Peter Pan Home encore. Folks who've seen it, know what I mean.
"He's mega hot..."
"He's a tremendous actor"
Three quotes, which seem to always be involved in any conversation about Johnny Depp. Even my dad thinks he is a terrific film actor (My dad doesn't dole out that kinda praise. He also hasn't commented whether or not he thinks Mr. Depp is hot, but he HAS said that "It helps to be good looking.") Whatever. He'll always be Officer Tom Hanson. Jump Street porkchop. He's now up with McConnaughey in the "P is irrationally jealous of them " file.
So I guess it goes w/o saying that he kicked some arse again in "Finding Neverland". I'm not gonna say that like, oh, with the same tired breath as one would've said "The Yanks won the Series, again..." but it seems that even a bad, or mediocre film get's brought up by that very dorks presence. (See "Secret Ass-Dow" for an example).
"F.N." shows what it means for someone who is so passionate about the world he creates-in his imagination, and invariably the positive effects it has on those around him. For me growing up, this was something my folks never wanted to stymie in my brother or myself. I guess it just hit closer to home than I expected, and yes- I had a lump in my throat (although not as bad as when I saw "Big Fish") . Check it out if you have time. I dare you to keep a dry eye during the Peter Pan Home encore. Folks who've seen it, know what I mean.
Phantom of the Ass-Ra, subtitled:
Proving once again Joel Schumacher can royally fuck up a movie. Thanks for Batman, ya porkchop.
Sure, there were some pretty costumes, and a scant few (FEW) moments that were actually quite spectacular. J said "They totally lifted that from Moulin Rouge". That got me thinking, do you all wonder if, say, after "Citizen Kane" people said of subsequent films "Ohhhh, they lifted that from 'Citizen Kane'...just curious. I guess what killed the movie for me was terrible sound editing (Guys, when I notice shite like sound editing being all fouled up, you know the filmmakers effed it up.) Then there was a phantom who sounded like Arnold Schwarzenegger when he sang, ("Fo Ah COM-pose dah moosic uff dah Naaaarrghht! " Say it like Arnie... it made J laugh) and who was (quote) "Too Pretty", according to J. Apparently she and Patrick Wilson (Raoul) did a show many years ago at the Ordway.
"Oh my God, that's Patrick!"
(me) "Yeah?"
"Yeah, we totally did R and J together back in '98! Ohhhh Patrick"
(moi) "Stop calling him 'Patrick' like he was our neighbor or something."
"He's got some kick ass money notes"
(me) "Faaaaaag"
"________, that's not very nice"
(me...putting on a Phantom half mask) "I'm go kick he ass!!!!"
"_______!"
(me) "Didn't the dude from movie 'Critters' direct that show you did?"
"Terrence Mann, yes. Take that thing off"
"Huh.....did you know that Leonardo DiCaprio was in, like Critters pt 2 or 3?"
(Turning back to the crapfest movie) "Mmmmmmmm?"
(Me, turning back to Emily Rossum's push up bra) "Frickin'...Patrick Wilson. Dick"
Funnier in my head, folks.
I think I'll write three posts today. You asked for it!!! No, you didn't....Mmmwha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!!
Quote from Terrence Mann:
"Movies will make you famous; Television will make you rich; But theatre will make you good."
Sure, there were some pretty costumes, and a scant few (FEW) moments that were actually quite spectacular. J said "They totally lifted that from Moulin Rouge". That got me thinking, do you all wonder if, say, after "Citizen Kane" people said of subsequent films "Ohhhh, they lifted that from 'Citizen Kane'...just curious. I guess what killed the movie for me was terrible sound editing (Guys, when I notice shite like sound editing being all fouled up, you know the filmmakers effed it up.) Then there was a phantom who sounded like Arnold Schwarzenegger when he sang, ("Fo Ah COM-pose dah moosic uff dah Naaaarrghht! " Say it like Arnie... it made J laugh) and who was (quote) "Too Pretty", according to J. Apparently she and Patrick Wilson (Raoul) did a show many years ago at the Ordway.
"Oh my God, that's Patrick!"
(me) "Yeah?"
"Yeah, we totally did R and J together back in '98! Ohhhh Patrick"
(moi) "Stop calling him 'Patrick' like he was our neighbor or something."
"He's got some kick ass money notes"
(me) "Faaaaaag"
"________, that's not very nice"
(me...putting on a Phantom half mask) "I'm go kick he ass!!!!"
"_______!"
(me) "Didn't the dude from movie 'Critters' direct that show you did?"
"Terrence Mann, yes. Take that thing off"
"Huh.....did you know that Leonardo DiCaprio was in, like Critters pt 2 or 3?"
(Turning back to the crapfest movie) "Mmmmmmmm?"
(Me, turning back to Emily Rossum's push up bra) "Frickin'...Patrick Wilson. Dick"
Funnier in my head, folks.
I think I'll write three posts today. You asked for it!!! No, you didn't....Mmmwha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!!
Quote from Terrence Mann:
"Movies will make you famous; Television will make you rich; But theatre will make you good."
Monday, May 16, 2005
Pai Mei would have been impressed...
My dad, not so much.
Sunday I went to the folks for some outdoor manual labor. (read: Heavy lifting) I do this out of support and commitment of their support and commitment to me all these years, and also it keeps them from hurting their bodies. (Dad hasn’t seem to figure that part out. The martyr.) With daddy’s recent trip to the hospital- I 86’ed him from attempting any further manual labor for the remainder of the summer.
One of the suck-ass tasks he attempted (And probably the one that floored him) was the removal of a tree stump. This stump has been firmly rooted in the back yard since I helped trim it down back in ’93. (Projects move verrry slowly for the P family.) So there it has remained, a 3.5 ft tall, 24 in circumference bitch, just taking up yard space.
Last time I was over, I spent a goodly hour trying to use a pick ax and a weighted pry bar to loose it from its moorings. This time, I attempted a different approach: I used up all my frustration from a heinously stressful week, and I started kicking it. (Hey, Napoleon!) Front kicks of course, since a round kick would have meant connecting with my shin (Causing more harm than good- "Winner, Tree!!!") or a side kick: which is ultimatlely a more powerful kick- it would have sent a jarring shock up my heel to an already tender "post-accident" spine. So yeah. I kicked the hell out of it.
"Mad Dog!!! What the hell are you doing!????!!!" (When my dad finally came outside to "supervise")
I was covered head to toe in sweat, and after grabbing & shaking the stump to show him how loose it was (It was pretty much like a loose tooth by this point. But there was this taproot that just didn’t seem to want to give.) He backed the truck in to winch the sumbitch out. If the picture turns out, there is going to be a hilarious photo of me making like I pulled it out with the chain, and nothing more. Ahhh testosterone. 4 Ibuprofen later, I was actually able to get out of bed today and type this ridiculous machismo blog. I’m just amazed that the "old school" crap still works.
What's my point? I’m seeing Star Wars this Wednesday. Out of 6 movies, this’ll be the 5th Midnight showing baby!!!! More on that, later…
Sunday I went to the folks for some outdoor manual labor. (read: Heavy lifting) I do this out of support and commitment of their support and commitment to me all these years, and also it keeps them from hurting their bodies. (Dad hasn’t seem to figure that part out. The martyr.) With daddy’s recent trip to the hospital- I 86’ed him from attempting any further manual labor for the remainder of the summer.
One of the suck-ass tasks he attempted (And probably the one that floored him) was the removal of a tree stump. This stump has been firmly rooted in the back yard since I helped trim it down back in ’93. (Projects move verrry slowly for the P family.) So there it has remained, a 3.5 ft tall, 24 in circumference bitch, just taking up yard space.
Last time I was over, I spent a goodly hour trying to use a pick ax and a weighted pry bar to loose it from its moorings. This time, I attempted a different approach: I used up all my frustration from a heinously stressful week, and I started kicking it. (Hey, Napoleon!) Front kicks of course, since a round kick would have meant connecting with my shin (Causing more harm than good- "Winner, Tree!!!") or a side kick: which is ultimatlely a more powerful kick- it would have sent a jarring shock up my heel to an already tender "post-accident" spine. So yeah. I kicked the hell out of it.
"Mad Dog!!! What the hell are you doing!????!!!" (When my dad finally came outside to "supervise")
I was covered head to toe in sweat, and after grabbing & shaking the stump to show him how loose it was (It was pretty much like a loose tooth by this point. But there was this taproot that just didn’t seem to want to give.) He backed the truck in to winch the sumbitch out. If the picture turns out, there is going to be a hilarious photo of me making like I pulled it out with the chain, and nothing more. Ahhh testosterone. 4 Ibuprofen later, I was actually able to get out of bed today and type this ridiculous machismo blog. I’m just amazed that the "old school" crap still works.
What's my point? I’m seeing Star Wars this Wednesday. Out of 6 movies, this’ll be the 5th Midnight showing baby!!!! More on that, later…
Saturday, May 14, 2005
Take it Out.
I had a bunch of funny, witty, cock-based jokes that I was planning to use after seeing "TMO" at Mixed Blood. After seeing it I think I'll just skip'em and tell folks that if they didn't see it, they missed out. It was a really good show.
So far I'm 2 fer 2 with seeing good productions. Here's to Arms and the Man-jelly , and Rick Three yielding the same results.
Penis.
So far I'm 2 fer 2 with seeing good productions. Here's to Arms and the Man-jelly , and Rick Three yielding the same results.
Penis.
Friday, May 13, 2005
That really sucks.
Please forgive me if I have nothing pithy or excitable to say today. I was rear-ended last night at a stop light on my way to meet a friend who was leaving for Africa. (As crazy as that sounds.) It turned out to be a terrible night of bad karaoke, a few self-centered actors, and if you read the newspaper: A shooting at the bar across the street. (Thank Goodness I left about 10 minutes before it happened) When I got home (and after being asked if I was all right) J said that I was taking it remarkably calm, given that she would probably have been flying off her 6th or 7th handle by then. My rationale was that (a) Nothing I could do about it (b) My car is still drivable, (c) it wasn’t my fault, (d) It could have been much, much worse, and (N) at least the airbag didn’t deploy- giving me a bloody nose or something.
I ended up missing my alarm, I woke up sore, and forgot that I had an HR training seminar to attend today at our Woodbury campus. My boss looked at me when I showed up at the wrong building and said "WTF are you doing here?" Then I got in trouble.
In cyberspace, no one (who cares) can hear you scream…so you’ll please excuse me while I go and file an In-FUCKING- surance claim with my GODDAMN agency!!!
Thank you for letting me vent. I’m seeing "Take me Out" tonight, starring the Geef’s weenie. Or "GuhFweener".
I ended up missing my alarm, I woke up sore, and forgot that I had an HR training seminar to attend today at our Woodbury campus. My boss looked at me when I showed up at the wrong building and said "WTF are you doing here?" Then I got in trouble.
In cyberspace, no one (who cares) can hear you scream…so you’ll please excuse me while I go and file an In-FUCKING- surance claim with my GODDAMN agency!!!
Thank you for letting me vent. I’m seeing "Take me Out" tonight, starring the Geef’s weenie. Or "GuhFweener".
Thursday, May 12, 2005
Well, that settles that...
I have been reminded that plane tix/rooms have been purchased for August 11th through 15th as part of J’s birthday extravaganza. We’re getting the heck outta Mipples and heading East to the Big nipple= NYC. (get a rope) Yes sir howdy, 5 days in city as pure unadultered tourons. We’ll be seeing "Wicked", "Spamalot" (If I have my way), munch Sbarro in Times Square (You gotta get Sbarro in T.S.) swill Starbucks and wait in line at TKTS, check out the Statue of Liberty, and hopefully I will get to revisit MMoA. (A bad-ass museum, as it were. It is NY, fer chrissakes! I’ll be a month too late for their Basquiat exhibition. See that movie for some bad-ass acting.) And you guessed right my fellow backtors, she said no classes, auditioning, or anything remotely theatre-related will be done. (Except as patrons.) I’m betting that she still packs her dancin’ shoes.
So, I guess I'll have ta wait for another remount of KFH. I’m trying to convince my big brother (the ninja*) to audition in my stead. He’d make a great "Ghost of Hamlet’s Father". Ahhhh, hell. It woulda been fun to do a show with him. Maybe someday we'll just stage our own fight show for goofs and kicks. Geef, Weef: I am deeply appreciative of your encouragement. On the flip side, I suppose the time away from those rehearsals will give me time to re-read Picnic, and take some more voice lessons for the impending "Gayspell" audition, and fart around the house. Heh-Heh. "Gaayyyyschpelllll". That sounds reeeeally funny if you say it out loud with a strained German accent.
*Btw:
That dork (my Big Bro) was coaching some of his TKD students at his qualifier tourney to get into Nationals. Now get this- He hasn’t fought in a tourney in, oh, 4 years or so since he was competing on the NCKA circuit. So, on a whim he enrolls in the competition and takes 1st. So now he’s the "MN Men’s Heavyweight Championship Fighter in Sport Karate/TKD". (You wouldn’t believe the incredible amount of shit I gave ‘im. "Sooooo, Mr. Foreman. Fighting in the Heavyweight division now, was it? Weren't you a middleweight, when last we checked?" Heh heh heh. We take our shots were we can. Whatev, he could still kill me.) He won on a fucking whim.
So, I guess I'll have ta wait for another remount of KFH. I’m trying to convince my big brother (the ninja*) to audition in my stead. He’d make a great "Ghost of Hamlet’s Father". Ahhhh, hell. It woulda been fun to do a show with him. Maybe someday we'll just stage our own fight show for goofs and kicks. Geef, Weef: I am deeply appreciative of your encouragement. On the flip side, I suppose the time away from those rehearsals will give me time to re-read Picnic, and take some more voice lessons for the impending "Gayspell" audition, and fart around the house. Heh-Heh. "Gaayyyyschpelllll". That sounds reeeeally funny if you say it out loud with a strained German accent.
*Btw:
That dork (my Big Bro) was coaching some of his TKD students at his qualifier tourney to get into Nationals. Now get this- He hasn’t fought in a tourney in, oh, 4 years or so since he was competing on the NCKA circuit. So, on a whim he enrolls in the competition and takes 1st. So now he’s the "MN Men’s Heavyweight Championship Fighter in Sport Karate/TKD". (You wouldn’t believe the incredible amount of shit I gave ‘im. "Sooooo, Mr. Foreman. Fighting in the Heavyweight division now, was it? Weren't you a middleweight, when last we checked?" Heh heh heh. We take our shots were we can. Whatev, he could still kill me.) He won on a fucking whim.
Wednesday, May 11, 2005
Hmmmmmm...
"Kung Fu Hamlet" is auditioning for the Fringe. IN-teresting food for thought.
A couple of things on that-
1) Not in terrific shape, Martial Artistically speaking. Not enough "Rex Kwon Do"
2) Am I going to be in NYC for J's B-day?
3) Has Geef cast the Ari show?
4) I have a way of hopping on to re-mounted shows [which were once popular at the fringe] as their popularity starts to wane.
5)I'm fat
Lastly...I emailed my big brother (the Ninja) about auditioning. He saw the show 3 times in all of it's incarnations. I think it'd be kinda fun to see him do something like that.
See Napoleon Dynamite if you haven't. That movie OWNS!!! (I can see why certain people wouldn't dig it. I just ain't one of 'em. GOSH!!!) I need to own Stars and Stripes Zubaz, stat!
A couple of things on that-
1) Not in terrific shape, Martial Artistically speaking. Not enough "Rex Kwon Do"
2) Am I going to be in NYC for J's B-day?
3) Has Geef cast the Ari show?
4) I have a way of hopping on to re-mounted shows [which were once popular at the fringe] as their popularity starts to wane.
5)I'm fat
Lastly...I emailed my big brother (the Ninja) about auditioning. He saw the show 3 times in all of it's incarnations. I think it'd be kinda fun to see him do something like that.
See Napoleon Dynamite if you haven't. That movie OWNS!!! (I can see why certain people wouldn't dig it. I just ain't one of 'em. GOSH!!!) I need to own Stars and Stripes Zubaz, stat!
Tuesday, May 10, 2005
Durp Durp Durp
Wow. Reading another bloggers blogginess about not having anything to blog about has given me a case of writers block. blog. Eeesh.
Soooooo: P presents Random Crapola!!!
1-I think people don’t think I take things seriously. I do take things seriously, I just don’t infuse my life with a retarded sense of hyperdramatics (And when I do, it’s usually because I’m trying to make people smile). It ain’t healthy to stress out about everything and it’s cat. KnowwhutImean?
2-Kaiser…I have a real problem. I see funny crap in just about everything, everyday. And it takes a (in my little brain) Bacchanalian effort to try and not comment on every little thing. (I know it can irritate the piss out of people) I’m also certain that it gives folks this whole "P’s a pervy hammy guy" vibe….but I swear I’m not right in the heid. Example: I received an email from my boss regarding "Unit Costs"…my first thought? Hmmmm, how much does a unit cost? I suppose it depends on the wielder of said unit…etc…
3-I’m cutting down my H20 intake as of Sunday. I’m thinking that a gallon of water a day (Or 128 Fl Oz, or 16 8 oz. Glasses a day, whatever!) well, I’m thinking that this is what makes me feel and look kinda bloaty on a daily basis. And that’s just water folks- I’m not even counting the OJ, Pineapple Juice, or Booze. Moderation is okay, P
4-Ocean’s 12 was okay. I mean, there was enough in it that kept my attention, so yeah. It was okay.
5-They aren’t going to be able to install my cabinets for another 2 weeks. Forkers.
6-Buca’s Eggplant Parmesan owns. It just, owns.
7-Champps stocks a shitty Pinot Grigio. I mean, craptacular. This reminds me- I think it is HI-larious whenever J and I go to dinner and I order a chicky Caesar w/the dressing on the side and she orders the Bacon Cheese Chicken Whatever Sandwich w/Fries- The server ALWAYS puts the salad in front of her, and the sandwich in front of me.
8-Whenever I call my gayfriendsteve, I always start off the conversation w/ something along the lines of "Oooooooooo…you wanna suck my big, fat, Molly Ringwald??? Oooooooooo" I have no idea why, but this makes us both laugh our asses off. And it causes J to say to me "I don’t want to know who you were talking to."
9-J’s dad made up a curse word. I’m pretty sure that (last night) when we were working on the kitchen re-wire he said "cockrabbit". I’m positive. So I made one up too: "Dicksauce". Say it out loud: "Ooooooooo, dicksauce!"
10- I actually sent in to win Ep.III tickets through a Strib promotion. My geekiness knows no bounds. If I had photoshop, I would desperately try and win a Darth Vader lightsaber at AICN's promotion. Geeeeeeek!!!!
I actually got up to ten? I am a big dumb animal, folks.
Soooooo: P presents Random Crapola!!!
1-I think people don’t think I take things seriously. I do take things seriously, I just don’t infuse my life with a retarded sense of hyperdramatics (And when I do, it’s usually because I’m trying to make people smile). It ain’t healthy to stress out about everything and it’s cat. KnowwhutImean?
2-Kaiser…I have a real problem. I see funny crap in just about everything, everyday. And it takes a (in my little brain) Bacchanalian effort to try and not comment on every little thing. (I know it can irritate the piss out of people) I’m also certain that it gives folks this whole "P’s a pervy hammy guy" vibe….but I swear I’m not right in the heid. Example: I received an email from my boss regarding "Unit Costs"…my first thought? Hmmmm, how much does a unit cost? I suppose it depends on the wielder of said unit…etc…
3-I’m cutting down my H20 intake as of Sunday. I’m thinking that a gallon of water a day (Or 128 Fl Oz, or 16 8 oz. Glasses a day, whatever!) well, I’m thinking that this is what makes me feel and look kinda bloaty on a daily basis. And that’s just water folks- I’m not even counting the OJ, Pineapple Juice, or Booze. Moderation is okay, P
4-Ocean’s 12 was okay. I mean, there was enough in it that kept my attention, so yeah. It was okay.
5-They aren’t going to be able to install my cabinets for another 2 weeks. Forkers.
6-Buca’s Eggplant Parmesan owns. It just, owns.
7-Champps stocks a shitty Pinot Grigio. I mean, craptacular. This reminds me- I think it is HI-larious whenever J and I go to dinner and I order a chicky Caesar w/the dressing on the side and she orders the Bacon Cheese Chicken Whatever Sandwich w/Fries- The server ALWAYS puts the salad in front of her, and the sandwich in front of me.
8-Whenever I call my gayfriendsteve, I always start off the conversation w/ something along the lines of "Oooooooooo…you wanna suck my big, fat, Molly Ringwald??? Oooooooooo" I have no idea why, but this makes us both laugh our asses off. And it causes J to say to me "I don’t want to know who you were talking to."
9-J’s dad made up a curse word. I’m pretty sure that (last night) when we were working on the kitchen re-wire he said "cockrabbit". I’m positive. So I made one up too: "Dicksauce". Say it out loud: "Ooooooooo, dicksauce!"
10- I actually sent in to win Ep.III tickets through a Strib promotion. My geekiness knows no bounds. If I had photoshop, I would desperately try and win a Darth Vader lightsaber at AICN's promotion. Geeeeeeek!!!!
I actually got up to ten? I am a big dumb animal, folks.
Monday, May 09, 2005
Foon, Foon, Foon (Fun)
Now that was a unique weekend. Work, Yardwork, and a Party. I still hate prom, and um…stuff.
My big brother is weirder than I am. This was evident on Mothers Day. 'Nuff said.
The Geef’s B-day was a blast. The Divine J actually made it out of captivity to attend. You guys want to know something? This city possesses a lot of beautiful people. No foolin’, there were a ton of beautiful people at the party. I can’t recall the name of the article I read where visitors from NYC were actually surprised at the number of beautiful people in our fair city. (What, did they think we traipse around Nicollet and 9th in overalls and flannel with a corn-cob pipe?) So yeah…beautiful people. Now what in the hell was I doing there? (Bah-dum-dum.)
Party highlights:
1) P’s party foul: Bumping the Weef’s Sham-Pag-Nah on herself and her dress. She did a marvelous re-coup of form by giving herself a cat bath in front of stunned partygoers…however I was still left feeling cloddish and uncoordinated. I am a 7 ft tall 12 year old with big feet inside a 30 yr old martial artists body…that’s how uncoordinated I am. I’m kidding. I ate a 7 ft tall 12 year old for dinner and absorbed his cloddishness.
2-P’s "I guess I can’t drink like I’m 20 anymore" moment: 2 glasses of veeno for meeno, and I was lit like a candle. (Even J held herself up better) I wanted to keep it light so J didn’t have a loopy fiancee to welcome her to the party, which apparently didn’t matter. THIS is what I get for lowering my booze intake. My tolerance has declined significantly. (Insert Cheap Date joke here)
3-P’s "WTF" overheard comment, moment: "You’re flirty". Some people, my goodness. If you smile, say complimentary things, and generally try and act like a polite individual you’re wind up getting labeled a flirt? Um, yo- fiancee’ standing right-next-to-me? My hand rubbing the lower part of her back affectionately? Hello? I guess my definition of flirty is "making subtle advances with a preferred result at the end." Me? I have no preconceptions. I know who I get to go home with. And really, I’m kinda shallow. There aren't any deeper meanings. (I save those for my sweet baby.) And I kiss everybody. Everybody. That’s how the P family is. We have Southern manners, and we’re touchy feely. Just, not in a creepy "Todd Solondz" kinda way, you know? Yeesh.
4-P’s Proud moment: J saying "He looks really good." (Referring to the Geef and his disappearing weight trick.) Yee-Haw. AND, I'm proud of the fact that my sweet baby came out to play. I do love her so. Seriously, has anyone seen her since she cut her bangs?
MIA (Or, I just left too early to have seen them) Talon, Kaiser the flirt, Mother-san. There were others, I'm sure…oh yes, there were.
I encourage others to post their own funny stories from the party, or observations on my loutish behaviour.
Mmmmmwah.
My big brother is weirder than I am. This was evident on Mothers Day. 'Nuff said.
The Geef’s B-day was a blast. The Divine J actually made it out of captivity to attend. You guys want to know something? This city possesses a lot of beautiful people. No foolin’, there were a ton of beautiful people at the party. I can’t recall the name of the article I read where visitors from NYC were actually surprised at the number of beautiful people in our fair city. (What, did they think we traipse around Nicollet and 9th in overalls and flannel with a corn-cob pipe?) So yeah…beautiful people. Now what in the hell was I doing there? (Bah-dum-dum.)
Party highlights:
1) P’s party foul: Bumping the Weef’s Sham-Pag-Nah on herself and her dress. She did a marvelous re-coup of form by giving herself a cat bath in front of stunned partygoers…however I was still left feeling cloddish and uncoordinated. I am a 7 ft tall 12 year old with big feet inside a 30 yr old martial artists body…that’s how uncoordinated I am. I’m kidding. I ate a 7 ft tall 12 year old for dinner and absorbed his cloddishness.
2-P’s "I guess I can’t drink like I’m 20 anymore" moment: 2 glasses of veeno for meeno, and I was lit like a candle. (Even J held herself up better) I wanted to keep it light so J didn’t have a loopy fiancee to welcome her to the party, which apparently didn’t matter. THIS is what I get for lowering my booze intake. My tolerance has declined significantly. (Insert Cheap Date joke here)
3-P’s "WTF" overheard comment, moment: "You’re flirty". Some people, my goodness. If you smile, say complimentary things, and generally try and act like a polite individual you’re wind up getting labeled a flirt? Um, yo- fiancee’ standing right-next-to-me? My hand rubbing the lower part of her back affectionately? Hello? I guess my definition of flirty is "making subtle advances with a preferred result at the end." Me? I have no preconceptions. I know who I get to go home with. And really, I’m kinda shallow. There aren't any deeper meanings. (I save those for my sweet baby.) And I kiss everybody. Everybody. That’s how the P family is. We have Southern manners, and we’re touchy feely. Just, not in a creepy "Todd Solondz" kinda way, you know? Yeesh.
4-P’s Proud moment: J saying "He looks really good." (Referring to the Geef and his disappearing weight trick.) Yee-Haw. AND, I'm proud of the fact that my sweet baby came out to play. I do love her so. Seriously, has anyone seen her since she cut her bangs?
MIA (Or, I just left too early to have seen them) Talon, Kaiser the flirt, Mother-san. There were others, I'm sure…oh yes, there were.
I encourage others to post their own funny stories from the party, or observations on my loutish behaviour.
Mmmmmwah.
Sunday, May 08, 2005
Thursday, May 05, 2005
A little shorty today.
After two days worth of smutty teen prose I figured I'd give y'all a break from my ditherings. So, I bid you leave early. As I am. Today. To go and hug my cabinets. Which are in boxes on my front porch.
( They aren't installed yet, but it is comforting all the same.) Kick ASS!!!!
One random nugget:
There is somebody here at the office that reeeks of fabric softner sheets. While I normally have pleasant associations with the odor, this person smells like they bathed in Snuggle, then sprayed Downy on themselves as an cologne. Eeeeew.
Two random nuggets: It's FINally getting warmer. Danke Gott.
3rd..nug..whatev: I'm looking for another play. It's called "Phryo-Giants" and it is NOWHERE to be found. (I googled, I googled.) It was made into a Bob Odenkirk directed film called "Melvin Goes to Dinner". Looks interesting, y'know?
( They aren't installed yet, but it is comforting all the same.) Kick ASS!!!!
One random nugget:
There is somebody here at the office that reeeks of fabric softner sheets. While I normally have pleasant associations with the odor, this person smells like they bathed in Snuggle, then sprayed Downy on themselves as an cologne. Eeeeew.
Two random nuggets: It's FINally getting warmer. Danke Gott.
3rd..nug..whatev: I'm looking for another play. It's called "Phryo-Giants" and it is NOWHERE to be found. (I googled, I googled.) It was made into a Bob Odenkirk directed film called "Melvin Goes to Dinner". Looks interesting, y'know?
Wednesday, May 04, 2005
Prom '92, part deux
I know you all were waiting with baited breath for the gripping conclusion. No, I know you weren’t… : (
When we last left our hero, he was pantsless and floating in a sea of despair. (Read: Big ass naughty hotel jacuzzi.) His date: Topless and drowning in her own teen pathos (Read: pining for the ex.). The other couple: Engaging in carnal acts in the far corner of the tub, caring little for their own modesty. (Read: drunk and screwing teens.)
What was I to do, you ask?
Thinking quickly, (and hoping that the other couple was distracted…what am I saying, I’m almost positive they were distracted) I lept from the tub towards the corner where I thought my trunks and the bikini top lay. A veritable white streak I was, dripping mullet trailing behind me in a blur. I donned my trunks with a speed, which hadn’t been achieved since the locker room after Junior High Phy Ed swimming. I grabbed the dates top, and handed it back to her which she quickly donned, and helped her out of the tub. Then, I grabbed our overnight bags and led her toward the bathroom- The pinkish, moaning, tangled mess of teens writhing outside my periphery. (Sploosh, Sploosh. Sploosh…"HEY, where’r ya goING?)
In the bathroom we put on our jammies and proceeded to "Talk".
Me- "What’s wrong"
Her- "I miss Old Boyfriend...buh WAAAAAHHH!!!" I started to feel like I was in a Jon Cusack movie. Love that teen angst, huh?
10-15 minutes later, the door opens and there wobbling was a very wet and naked girl number 2 . With bleary eyes she sez "What’r yooos doin’?" Pissed, Un-laid, Un-loved, I made a very off-color comment which resulted in the door getting slammed on me. So, I grabbed the room key and left for a little walk. When I got back, my date was still crying, girl two was bitching in the Igloo, and dude number two was lying at the bottom of an empty hot tub. Naked and pissed, all I could hear him garble was "Gimme back the damn bottle! I wan my Jack, dammit!" She made some remark about him being Mr. Limpy pants because of the whiskey…and proceeded to come out and slam the bottle down on the tub. Breaking it. My girl came out of the ‘Throom, looks over at nude dude, and drops the washcloth she was using as a hanky over his package. I had had enough.
I started for the bed (A yuge waterbed inside the "Igloo" complete with Penguins sewn on the comforter) In order to get in there you had to crawl through the concrete igloo "opening". In doing so, I promptly smacked my forehead head and was knocked out for about a minute and ahalf...then I crawled, crawled up into bed…pulled up the sheets, and realized that no matter who I told about this: No one would believe me. And I also realized if I felt motion in the ocean while I was sleeping- I was gonna yell at someone.
I love prom. And I have pictures of almost all of the events, sans nudity. Taken on a good old 110 camera. The End.
When we last left our hero, he was pantsless and floating in a sea of despair. (Read: Big ass naughty hotel jacuzzi.) His date: Topless and drowning in her own teen pathos (Read: pining for the ex.). The other couple: Engaging in carnal acts in the far corner of the tub, caring little for their own modesty. (Read: drunk and screwing teens.)
What was I to do, you ask?
Thinking quickly, (and hoping that the other couple was distracted…what am I saying, I’m almost positive they were distracted) I lept from the tub towards the corner where I thought my trunks and the bikini top lay. A veritable white streak I was, dripping mullet trailing behind me in a blur. I donned my trunks with a speed, which hadn’t been achieved since the locker room after Junior High Phy Ed swimming. I grabbed the dates top, and handed it back to her which she quickly donned, and helped her out of the tub. Then, I grabbed our overnight bags and led her toward the bathroom- The pinkish, moaning, tangled mess of teens writhing outside my periphery. (Sploosh, Sploosh. Sploosh…"HEY, where’r ya goING?)
In the bathroom we put on our jammies and proceeded to "Talk".
Me- "What’s wrong"
Her- "I miss Old Boyfriend...buh WAAAAAHHH!!!" I started to feel like I was in a Jon Cusack movie. Love that teen angst, huh?
10-15 minutes later, the door opens and there wobbling was a very wet and naked girl number 2 . With bleary eyes she sez "What’r yooos doin’?" Pissed, Un-laid, Un-loved, I made a very off-color comment which resulted in the door getting slammed on me. So, I grabbed the room key and left for a little walk. When I got back, my date was still crying, girl two was bitching in the Igloo, and dude number two was lying at the bottom of an empty hot tub. Naked and pissed, all I could hear him garble was "Gimme back the damn bottle! I wan my Jack, dammit!" She made some remark about him being Mr. Limpy pants because of the whiskey…and proceeded to come out and slam the bottle down on the tub. Breaking it. My girl came out of the ‘Throom, looks over at nude dude, and drops the washcloth she was using as a hanky over his package. I had had enough.
I started for the bed (A yuge waterbed inside the "Igloo" complete with Penguins sewn on the comforter) In order to get in there you had to crawl through the concrete igloo "opening". In doing so, I promptly smacked my forehead head and was knocked out for about a minute and ahalf...then I crawled, crawled up into bed…pulled up the sheets, and realized that no matter who I told about this: No one would believe me. And I also realized if I felt motion in the ocean while I was sleeping- I was gonna yell at someone.
I love prom. And I have pictures of almost all of the events, sans nudity. Taken on a good old 110 camera. The End.
Tuesday, May 03, 2005
Prom Memories, 1992
Due to the Strib's recent coverage of prom, my current employs at a formal wear store, and Kaiser's Friday Fiver, I present you...dear viewer, with this cherished memory: (It was a little "Blue" to be ran in the Strib.)
The Players-
My date: The Blonde Cheerleader (Or, "big boobed girl" as J calls her) At this time in our young Junior Year Romance, she had yet to cheat on me, and was currently only whining about her "ex". She thought she was pregnant: Every other day. (Even though we hadn’t done "it" in about 5 months.)
Me: Mulleted. Depressed due to this nut-job breaking up and making up with me on a weekly basis, and slowly going broke buying superfluous immaculate conception pregnancy exams. Did I mention that loyalty and stupidity could be bosom comrades?
The "Other Couple": Her best friend and bf’s beef. They had a jones to go from prom and get a room at the FantaSuites in Burnsville. $200 bucks for the dumb ass "Northern Lights" Room- that’s the Igloo room for the uniformed. Oh, for non-MN residents- this is the hotel with the cheesy "theme" rooms that probably video tapes amateur adult film stars. (Or, middle aged couples trying something new.) I saw where they put the camera in the top of the igloo.
Our Story:
We had the booze in the back of the caravan and a mind to party (A bottle of Sun Country, a bottle of Maui, and a bottle of Jack. The Jack was all for the other dude.) After a disastrous dinner where my date spilled her ravioli down the front of her dress, we headed out to Town Square in St. Paul. We were only there for 15 minutes before the other couple, red faced and sweaty from necking, reeeeeally wanted to get back to the hotel. (To give you an example of my perfect love life, my date and I didn’t even dance once. When she and her "ex’s" song came on, she went in the bathroom and cried.)
Later, Me, Raccoon-date, and the Horny’s headed back to the hotel, got into our trunks, filled the hot tub, and proceeded to get sauced and soak. Early on, all was fine. My date was drunk and depressed, the other two were necking in the far corner, and I was thinking (As my mullet floated behind me) about how I was gonna be the one guy not to get any on prom. The # crunchers would love me.
Suddenly, dude # 2 hops on the side and drops his drawers..while his girl starts, um, servicing him while simultaneously undoing her bikini top. (My guess was that they had done this before.) Things started to get little uncomfortable, but my date actually seemed oblivious to all the goings on. That is until girl # 2 turned and (In what looked like an innocent hug) steals away my dates top and chucks it. Then dives under water and yoinks MY trunks and chucks the Hasselhoffs across the room. (They were red gym shorts. I didn't own a real pair of swim trunks at the time.) All the while dude # 2 starts yelling "We should swap, dude!" and "I TOTALLY have a BONER", or my favorite "Fuck Penis Envy, I rullllee!!!". My girl dips down to about her neck to protect her modesty, while I desperately try and think of a saavy way out of this mess.
BUM BUM BUMMMMMMM!!!!!
TBC
The Players-
My date: The Blonde Cheerleader (Or, "big boobed girl" as J calls her) At this time in our young Junior Year Romance, she had yet to cheat on me, and was currently only whining about her "ex". She thought she was pregnant: Every other day. (Even though we hadn’t done "it" in about 5 months.)
Me: Mulleted. Depressed due to this nut-job breaking up and making up with me on a weekly basis, and slowly going broke buying superfluous immaculate conception pregnancy exams. Did I mention that loyalty and stupidity could be bosom comrades?
The "Other Couple": Her best friend and bf’s beef. They had a jones to go from prom and get a room at the FantaSuites in Burnsville. $200 bucks for the dumb ass "Northern Lights" Room- that’s the Igloo room for the uniformed. Oh, for non-MN residents- this is the hotel with the cheesy "theme" rooms that probably video tapes amateur adult film stars. (Or, middle aged couples trying something new.) I saw where they put the camera in the top of the igloo.
Our Story:
We had the booze in the back of the caravan and a mind to party (A bottle of Sun Country, a bottle of Maui, and a bottle of Jack. The Jack was all for the other dude.) After a disastrous dinner where my date spilled her ravioli down the front of her dress, we headed out to Town Square in St. Paul. We were only there for 15 minutes before the other couple, red faced and sweaty from necking, reeeeeally wanted to get back to the hotel. (To give you an example of my perfect love life, my date and I didn’t even dance once. When she and her "ex’s" song came on, she went in the bathroom and cried.)
Later, Me, Raccoon-date, and the Horny’s headed back to the hotel, got into our trunks, filled the hot tub, and proceeded to get sauced and soak. Early on, all was fine. My date was drunk and depressed, the other two were necking in the far corner, and I was thinking (As my mullet floated behind me) about how I was gonna be the one guy not to get any on prom. The # crunchers would love me.
Suddenly, dude # 2 hops on the side and drops his drawers..while his girl starts, um, servicing him while simultaneously undoing her bikini top. (My guess was that they had done this before.) Things started to get little uncomfortable, but my date actually seemed oblivious to all the goings on. That is until girl # 2 turned and (In what looked like an innocent hug) steals away my dates top and chucks it. Then dives under water and yoinks MY trunks and chucks the Hasselhoffs across the room. (They were red gym shorts. I didn't own a real pair of swim trunks at the time.) All the while dude # 2 starts yelling "We should swap, dude!" and "I TOTALLY have a BONER", or my favorite "Fuck Penis Envy, I rullllee!!!". My girl dips down to about her neck to protect her modesty, while I desperately try and think of a saavy way out of this mess.
BUM BUM BUMMMMMMM!!!!!
TBC
Shopski and Hutch
After work yestiddy, J and I helped her dad finish some electrical crappy in the kitchen in preparation for Thursdays cabinet delivery. (2 days and counting kids!) Being the po' actors that we are, we thought we'd capitalize on the few remaining g.c.'s we have in our possession to expand our DVD collection. The booty: Clerks (We have J's film debut Mallrats, Dogma, and Chasing Amy. I told her that we couldn't watch any of them until we saw the 1st film. She was just a little bit underwhelmed, given that it was a 1st time film by a 1st time filmmaker...but there were still a few requisite chuckles from her. 'Specially the mis-treatment of customers bit. "That's how you are at the costume shop, aren't you?" Yes honey, I am Randall.) "Jay and Silent Bob Strike back" (YOU are the one's who are the Ball Lickers!), and Big Fish (Random, I know, but we both do love that tear puller of a movie.)
While at the Best of BUy, I tried to casually slip a "Force FX Lightsaber" into our basket. It was noticed. Thankfully the nice clerk had one out of the box for me to twirl around for a minute. At least until I started knocking over the answering machine. J stayed about 5 rows away and hid. *
We also peeked in Bed Bath and Beyond to check out some curtain-age, and wound up walking out with this kinda "Euro Chair" for the TV room. It's kitchy, and looks very "Star Trekky", yet remarkably comfortable and fits two nicely : ) (ahem)
Now, this is for the truly home oriented nerd: We picked our sink and faucets. Yeah....We're finally gonna have a KITCHEN!!!!
(We started moving some of our major appliance back in from the dining room where we've been camping out, BACK into the kitchen. The room it creates, oh my, the room.)
I'm off to present at a board meeting. You know the one- Where you get so "bored" attending?
* DVD which I almost purchased that didn't make the list:
Revenge of the Nerds
Real Genius
Breakin' II Electric Boogaloo
The Last Dragon
Twin Peaks Season One (The couldn't find it)
Mulholland Dr.
While at the Best of BUy, I tried to casually slip a "Force FX Lightsaber" into our basket. It was noticed. Thankfully the nice clerk had one out of the box for me to twirl around for a minute. At least until I started knocking over the answering machine. J stayed about 5 rows away and hid. *
We also peeked in Bed Bath and Beyond to check out some curtain-age, and wound up walking out with this kinda "Euro Chair" for the TV room. It's kitchy, and looks very "Star Trekky", yet remarkably comfortable and fits two nicely : ) (ahem)
Now, this is for the truly home oriented nerd: We picked our sink and faucets. Yeah....We're finally gonna have a KITCHEN!!!!
(We started moving some of our major appliance back in from the dining room where we've been camping out, BACK into the kitchen. The room it creates, oh my, the room.)
I'm off to present at a board meeting. You know the one- Where you get so "bored" attending?
* DVD which I almost purchased that didn't make the list:
Revenge of the Nerds
Real Genius
Breakin' II Electric Boogaloo
The Last Dragon
Twin Peaks Season One (The couldn't find it)
Mulholland Dr.
Monday, May 02, 2005
Stuck in my craw...
(1st- Fug. It's cold. Like, no fun cold where the fuck did summer go did we pass it I don't know but it frickin sucks...cold. )
I got a wild hair up my butt last week and ended up shopping Amazon for 3 plays- 2 out of pure fancy, and the 3rd is a play I was told I should audition for. How weird am I? "P- Blah de blah theatre is doing 'Blah', and Blah-de McBlah is directing it, you should totally audition!" Next thing you know I'm buying the play, checking my schedule for the next couple of months, thinking about what role would suit me, blah. I get weirdly OCD about things like that sometimes. I'm not cast, yet I'm thinking...always thinking. I'm fat.
That's the way it is with me. I get an idea, thought, whim and I start figuring out how to make it work.
Yestiddy, J was watching "West Side Story" (Which, I hear tell, is the next show her employer is producing.) I kiddingly told her that I'd make a terriffic Puerto Rican Lady. She sez back to me: "I really think you should audition, hon." (Insert my eye roll here.) And even though I'm cognizent enough to know my own skill levels and also realize after 7 or 8 auditions out there I won't get cast. (I know who they'll go with, and the dudes they do cast can usually dance like mo-fo's) Even after all that rigga, as soon as J said "Whatever sweetie. You can sing. I've heard you before." (sighs) I realized that I'll probably audition for that too. I'm a sucker. I can't say no to her.
"A guy like dat...he keel your bruddah!" Seriously. If you haven't seen the flick, or haven't seen it in a while, check it out. Russ Tamblyn's unassisted back flip off the pole is as unbelievable as any Jackie Chan stunt.
I'm also thinking of T-shirts. FeeF PeeT. Funny to me.
I got a wild hair up my butt last week and ended up shopping Amazon for 3 plays- 2 out of pure fancy, and the 3rd is a play I was told I should audition for. How weird am I? "P- Blah de blah theatre is doing 'Blah', and Blah-de McBlah is directing it, you should totally audition!" Next thing you know I'm buying the play, checking my schedule for the next couple of months, thinking about what role would suit me, blah. I get weirdly OCD about things like that sometimes. I'm not cast, yet I'm thinking...always thinking. I'm fat.
That's the way it is with me. I get an idea, thought, whim and I start figuring out how to make it work.
Yestiddy, J was watching "West Side Story" (Which, I hear tell, is the next show her employer is producing.) I kiddingly told her that I'd make a terriffic Puerto Rican Lady. She sez back to me: "I really think you should audition, hon." (Insert my eye roll here.) And even though I'm cognizent enough to know my own skill levels and also realize after 7 or 8 auditions out there I won't get cast. (I know who they'll go with, and the dudes they do cast can usually dance like mo-fo's) Even after all that rigga, as soon as J said "Whatever sweetie. You can sing. I've heard you before." (sighs) I realized that I'll probably audition for that too. I'm a sucker. I can't say no to her.
"A guy like dat...he keel your bruddah!" Seriously. If you haven't seen the flick, or haven't seen it in a while, check it out. Russ Tamblyn's unassisted back flip off the pole is as unbelievable as any Jackie Chan stunt.
I'm also thinking of T-shirts. FeeF PeeT. Funny to me.
Sunday, May 01, 2005
I can't make this stuff up.
Prom sucks when you work at a tux shop. But this little ray of sunshine came into the store Saturday and brightened my day considerably.
A cutie strolled in w/her mom, looking for some last minute idea's. (She and her date were dressing in 50's style outfits. They wanted a zoot hat and some additional costume bling.) Her hair was up, nails and toenails painted...literally "ready to go", except for her sweats. And her black eyes.
Yup, two shiners.
While her mom was using the loo, I asked her "Okay, I know there has to be a story". Quick on the uptake she was, she replied "Soft ball".
(moi) "Yeah?"
(Her) "Well, I was playing shortstop and went for a low bounce grounder and on the last bounce it went right past my glove and hit me on the forehead. "
(me) "Ow, not the best accident to happen before prom".
(her- Straight faced) "Yeah, our coach is always telling me to dig for those balls when they are coming atcha."
Damn. Funny Funny Funny.
A cutie strolled in w/her mom, looking for some last minute idea's. (She and her date were dressing in 50's style outfits. They wanted a zoot hat and some additional costume bling.) Her hair was up, nails and toenails painted...literally "ready to go", except for her sweats. And her black eyes.
Yup, two shiners.
While her mom was using the loo, I asked her "Okay, I know there has to be a story". Quick on the uptake she was, she replied "Soft ball".
(moi) "Yeah?"
(Her) "Well, I was playing shortstop and went for a low bounce grounder and on the last bounce it went right past my glove and hit me on the forehead. "
(me) "Ow, not the best accident to happen before prom".
(her- Straight faced) "Yeah, our coach is always telling me to dig for those balls when they are coming atcha."
Damn. Funny Funny Funny.
SubBASTARDS!!!
Those hairy sumbitches at Subway toasted my Sweet Onion Chicken Teryaki sub without even FRICKING asking! It was so damn busy, and I was late enough to job # 2 that I didn't have them corrected.
Let me just rant for the record that I do not like toasted subs. It turns the bread into stale crap...like they left it sitting out overnight, but without the mold. And crumbs! Fycking crumbs EVERYwhere, and what's even WORSE is that the hard tack which they call the bread cut the hell outta the roof of my mouth! So now I sit here typing, pissed at Subway, and running my tongue along the roof of my mouth like I was 10 and just ate a bowl of "King Vitamin". (Remember that happy crappy? It was the generic form Cap'n Crunch. Whatever they put in those cereals to keep'em free from the dreaded "Soggies" only wound up turning them into Golden Toasted Razor Blades. No wonder I liked Puffed Rice as a kid.)
Let me just rant for the record that I do not like toasted subs. It turns the bread into stale crap...like they left it sitting out overnight, but without the mold. And crumbs! Fycking crumbs EVERYwhere, and what's even WORSE is that the hard tack which they call the bread cut the hell outta the roof of my mouth! So now I sit here typing, pissed at Subway, and running my tongue along the roof of my mouth like I was 10 and just ate a bowl of "King Vitamin". (Remember that happy crappy? It was the generic form Cap'n Crunch. Whatever they put in those cereals to keep'em free from the dreaded "Soggies" only wound up turning them into Golden Toasted Razor Blades. No wonder I liked Puffed Rice as a kid.)
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