I've been feeling so vindictive since my office move, I'm gonna go over to the old "Pantry" with my letter opener, pry off the letter "R"...so that it reads "Panty"....
At least 3 of my co-workers thought that was funny.
Speaking of funny, I watched the movie "Dodgeball" last night. NEARLY had a coronary. It was some funny crappy. Joanie loves Chachi!!!
Thursday, March 31, 2005
Wednesday, March 30, 2005
I get a kick...outta J.
If I neglected to mention this before, J has been on as Reno all week long. On Easter Sunday, both of our families got together for the occasion. As I looked around the booth at mom, dad, and big brother…it occurred to me that this was the 1st time the 4 of us had got together without spouses, fiancée’s, girlfriends, etc in a very long time. And that furthered the enjoyment of a spectacular performance.
I bored the pants off of folks at Meag’s going away party last night, but let me say that J really nailed her shit. I knew she could dance (la la la) and sing well (Just a couple of mini-solo’s in past productions) but damn…the pipes on that girl! Watching her during the title number, took me back to the 1st time I remember ever laying eyes on her in "Crazy for You", all those years ago. (Before engagements and houses took over our lives) The way she whooped, hollered, cajoled her other cast mates, it was like she was having the time of her life. Without sounding like a reviewer, she increased the energy of the numbers every time she got on stage. And was she funny? Funnier than I thought . My parents and brother gushed, and made reservations to see her again the next day. (I’m going again tomorrow night.) One of the old hacks at the Chan said to her "Honey, when Michael (Chan AD) get’s home, I’m letting him know that your chorus girl days are numbered." And you wondered what all the fuss was about? I really wish you could all see it.
My buddy from the bar (Elsies) in the last weekend was Iron Glen (Due to his strange love of all things Iron Man). If y'all remember my posting about superheroes a few weeks ago, he was the one who drug me back into the world of comics with Gaiman titles. I hadn't seen him in 4 years, but it was flipping awesome to have ran into him.
Last but not least, I wanted to give a shout out to my girl Meags, who is transplanting with her man to sunny CA to chase the dream. Best of luck to you on your first time relocating, and remember: Change is good. 2 for 1's are even better. Also, I was able to say congrats to RPK and CRT, those two lovebirds. AND, I get a flier last night for this show, and they covered up the GeeF’s handsome mug! The man now has a Louisville Slugger mustache! ; )
I need to get out more. I've got too many shows to get caught up on, including the aforementioned link, Rick III, and a plethora of TRP shows. Whew. Having a break is fine, but damn, I finna be busy!
I bored the pants off of folks at Meag’s going away party last night, but let me say that J really nailed her shit. I knew she could dance (la la la) and sing well (Just a couple of mini-solo’s in past productions) but damn…the pipes on that girl! Watching her during the title number, took me back to the 1st time I remember ever laying eyes on her in "Crazy for You", all those years ago. (Before engagements and houses took over our lives) The way she whooped, hollered, cajoled her other cast mates, it was like she was having the time of her life. Without sounding like a reviewer, she increased the energy of the numbers every time she got on stage. And was she funny? Funnier than I thought . My parents and brother gushed, and made reservations to see her again the next day. (I’m going again tomorrow night.) One of the old hacks at the Chan said to her "Honey, when Michael (Chan AD) get’s home, I’m letting him know that your chorus girl days are numbered." And you wondered what all the fuss was about? I really wish you could all see it.
My buddy from the bar (Elsies) in the last weekend was Iron Glen (Due to his strange love of all things Iron Man). If y'all remember my posting about superheroes a few weeks ago, he was the one who drug me back into the world of comics with Gaiman titles. I hadn't seen him in 4 years, but it was flipping awesome to have ran into him.
Last but not least, I wanted to give a shout out to my girl Meags, who is transplanting with her man to sunny CA to chase the dream. Best of luck to you on your first time relocating, and remember: Change is good. 2 for 1's are even better. Also, I was able to say congrats to RPK and CRT, those two lovebirds. AND, I get a flier last night for this show, and they covered up the GeeF’s handsome mug! The man now has a Louisville Slugger mustache! ; )
I need to get out more. I've got too many shows to get caught up on, including the aforementioned link, Rick III, and a plethora of TRP shows. Whew. Having a break is fine, but damn, I finna be busy!
Tuesday, March 29, 2005
EeeB's Weekend *
* Easter Bun-Bun. Thanks Easter Bunny, BUCK BUCK!!!
The move to my new worksite is gonna put a cramp I my style. I’m in what’s called a "High-Profile" area, which means I have managers (Putting the "Anger" back in "mANaGER!") who are now micro-managing. This really sucks.
Anyhey, the weekend….Recap time:
I hit up Elsies for a little karaoke. Kaiser and the Tallen were in attendence (I was told a certain Mother was too pooped out to join…poor thing.) J was even up for going but I eventually ki-boshed staying out late in lieu of face time with my love. While Kaiser razzed me about drinking a Diet beverage (In my defense, I did have a glass of veeno at home earlier in the evening.) Elsie’s has now re-affirmed my general sense of indifference towards karate-okey.
Elsie’s is one of the few bars that carry one of my favorite karaoke tunes (Favorite meaning it’s in my range w/out making me sound like a dying walrus) however the dicksauce that was MC’ing took it upon himself to "sing along" right behind me. In my ear. Dude, seriously, STFU. Baaad form. I emcee'd the shit, dork-pie...even if the person is singing pitchy, you just leave'em the farg alone!
My second problem of the evening, was the hecklers- More specifically A heckler. I'm guilty as the next person of wincing or rolling my eyes at some of the other amateur singers that grip the mic, but most of the time we keep our commentary to ourselves. Yet, I overheard this mean guy actually booing some singers and I found it more than a little insensitive. Don’t ask me why it tripped off my spider-sense, but it did. After his 1st,very loud "Boooo" I looked over at he and his posse which I think included a girlfriend. (She had her arm around him, and shot me one of those very embarrassed "I’m sorry" kinda looks.) He had about 2 more LOUD boo’s in him when I decided that I had enough.
I am pleased to say that in my tenure as both a drinker and martial artist, I have successfully avoided all potentially "martial" confrontations through a skilled blend of passive aggression, and comedic BS'ing. The reason is that bar fights never go as well as they do in the movies, and in a sue-happy society it just isn’t worth it. It also isn't worth the trouble of wage garnishment, potential incarceration, or getting 80 million jiggawatts of taser up your ass from an overzealous cop. (Remember the 'Cloud, Geef?)
I think I did well enough with this one: After his repeated booing, I gave him the angry stare (Oooo, the dojo vibe) and when he had finally made eye contact I said "That’s really rude", not breaking eye contact until he finally turned away. And then I left. Jerkoff. Well, that’s enough machismo for one blog. I can’t stands it when people show disrespect to complete strangers, especially when they happen to be doing karaoke, Especiall-ier when they are comrades of mine.
I didn’t even get to say that I ran into a very old and dear friend there. That’s one positive spin on the evening!
More positive hits later…my boss be starin’!!!
The move to my new worksite is gonna put a cramp I my style. I’m in what’s called a "High-Profile" area, which means I have managers (Putting the "Anger" back in "mANaGER!") who are now micro-managing. This really sucks.
Anyhey, the weekend….Recap time:
I hit up Elsies for a little karaoke. Kaiser and the Tallen were in attendence (I was told a certain Mother was too pooped out to join…poor thing.) J was even up for going but I eventually ki-boshed staying out late in lieu of face time with my love. While Kaiser razzed me about drinking a Diet beverage (In my defense, I did have a glass of veeno at home earlier in the evening.) Elsie’s has now re-affirmed my general sense of indifference towards karate-okey.
Elsie’s is one of the few bars that carry one of my favorite karaoke tunes (Favorite meaning it’s in my range w/out making me sound like a dying walrus) however the dicksauce that was MC’ing took it upon himself to "sing along" right behind me. In my ear. Dude, seriously, STFU. Baaad form. I emcee'd the shit, dork-pie...even if the person is singing pitchy, you just leave'em the farg alone!
My second problem of the evening, was the hecklers- More specifically A heckler. I'm guilty as the next person of wincing or rolling my eyes at some of the other amateur singers that grip the mic, but most of the time we keep our commentary to ourselves. Yet, I overheard this mean guy actually booing some singers and I found it more than a little insensitive. Don’t ask me why it tripped off my spider-sense, but it did. After his 1st,very loud "Boooo" I looked over at he and his posse which I think included a girlfriend. (She had her arm around him, and shot me one of those very embarrassed "I’m sorry" kinda looks.) He had about 2 more LOUD boo’s in him when I decided that I had enough.
I am pleased to say that in my tenure as both a drinker and martial artist, I have successfully avoided all potentially "martial" confrontations through a skilled blend of passive aggression, and comedic BS'ing. The reason is that bar fights never go as well as they do in the movies, and in a sue-happy society it just isn’t worth it. It also isn't worth the trouble of wage garnishment, potential incarceration, or getting 80 million jiggawatts of taser up your ass from an overzealous cop. (Remember the 'Cloud, Geef?)
I think I did well enough with this one: After his repeated booing, I gave him the angry stare (Oooo, the dojo vibe) and when he had finally made eye contact I said "That’s really rude", not breaking eye contact until he finally turned away. And then I left. Jerkoff. Well, that’s enough machismo for one blog. I can’t stands it when people show disrespect to complete strangers, especially when they happen to be doing karaoke, Especiall-ier when they are comrades of mine.
I didn’t even get to say that I ran into a very old and dear friend there. That’s one positive spin on the evening!
More positive hits later…my boss be starin’!!!
Thursday, March 24, 2005
Growing Pains/Time to move
From a work standpoint, this month has been higgledy piggledy. My office has deemed the rent prices in our current locale to be a bit exorbitant, so a few years ago they decided to build their own building, which has recently been finished. So now we're moving from one point in the NW suburbs, to another point in the NW Suburbs. (Couldn't have built a building closer to Minneapolis, couldja? No? Grumblefuck.) I've recently been told the new bldg is too small for our business needs. (Read: My new office will also be used for storageand to hold mini-meetings.) And don't get me started about the actual moving process. We actually had to have a meeting scheduled to show us how to assemble the moving boxes, and also where to place the "move sticker" on the box . (Hint: It's the spot on the box that says "affix move sticker here")
We're also told what they will move for us (PC's and any "file-type" things), what we need to move ourselves (Everything else- staplers/tape dispenser/pictures etc.) , and what we can't have (Radios, desk lamps, and plants. ) Fruity Pebbles, NOW I've got to bring home a wilting fern and hydrangea . I've also been volunteered (ordered) to come in over our blessed 3 day weekend and "test" the new systems to make sure they are up and running . Sweaty Balls! There goes my weekend. Did I mention the building is too small? It blows goats, folks.
Quick Hits: (On a positive note)
-I found my route. That's right kittens, I now have a jogging route in my neighborhood. It's the perfect blend of challenging uphills to start off, tapering to a nice descent on my return path along the parkway totalling 3 to 5 miles depending on my mood. I was navigating this course last evening and did not see these wooden vines sticking out from a retaining wall fence. So, I took a wooden vine square in the eyeball. Yes, it does hurt. And I look like I'm baked my left eye is so fargin bloodshot.
-J goes in for an 8 show stint as "Reno Sweeney" (read: Lead Chick) starting tonight. This is good for her professionally to show the director and producers that she is a good singer in addition to being a very talented dancer. It's also good for her physically (Reno doesn't engage in as much dancing as the "Angels", meaning she won't be as pooped.) We're all very excited for her and both of our fam damnilies are gonna see her Sunday afternoon. This will mark the 3rd time I've seen "Anything Goes", and could quite possibly meet the record for the number of times I saw "Cats" (5...I love my girl and I get in for free.) Send positive thoughts!
I've got to finish packing now. I'll post tomorrow from home on "Good Friday". Why is it "Good Friday"? Because I get the motherloving day off, that's why! Oh wait...I still have to come in this weekend. AHHHHRRHGGGH!!!
We're also told what they will move for us (PC's and any "file-type" things), what we need to move ourselves (Everything else- staplers/tape dispenser/pictures etc.) , and what we can't have (Radios, desk lamps, and plants. ) Fruity Pebbles, NOW I've got to bring home a wilting fern and hydrangea . I've also been volunteered (ordered) to come in over our blessed 3 day weekend and "test" the new systems to make sure they are up and running . Sweaty Balls! There goes my weekend. Did I mention the building is too small? It blows goats, folks.
Quick Hits: (On a positive note)
-I found my route. That's right kittens, I now have a jogging route in my neighborhood. It's the perfect blend of challenging uphills to start off, tapering to a nice descent on my return path along the parkway totalling 3 to 5 miles depending on my mood. I was navigating this course last evening and did not see these wooden vines sticking out from a retaining wall fence. So, I took a wooden vine square in the eyeball. Yes, it does hurt. And I look like I'm baked my left eye is so fargin bloodshot.
-J goes in for an 8 show stint as "Reno Sweeney" (read: Lead Chick) starting tonight. This is good for her professionally to show the director and producers that she is a good singer in addition to being a very talented dancer. It's also good for her physically (Reno doesn't engage in as much dancing as the "Angels", meaning she won't be as pooped.) We're all very excited for her and both of our fam damnilies are gonna see her Sunday afternoon. This will mark the 3rd time I've seen "Anything Goes", and could quite possibly meet the record for the number of times I saw "Cats" (5...I love my girl and I get in for free.) Send positive thoughts!
I've got to finish packing now. I'll post tomorrow from home on "Good Friday". Why is it "Good Friday"? Because I get the motherloving day off, that's why! Oh wait...I still have to come in this weekend. AHHHHRRHGGGH!!!
Wednesday, March 23, 2005
It's close...I can feel it.
I'm trying to figure out what I want to be for Halloween this year. I wanna head start on any potential costume building that may need to take place. Here are a few suggestions (And the accompanying pics) , but feel free to post your own.
Dirk Pitt (From "Sahara") This flick could be a total mort, but the costume looks easy enough. Plus it'll give me enough time to get in shape...I hope.
Patrick Bateman: (From "American Psycho") I'm thinking little Empire of the Sun boy is a pretty good actor. Costume should be easy: Grey pinstripe suit, Power Tie, Business Cards, Video Tapes, and a plastic butcher knife. Easy. Or I could wear the "chainsaw" outfit: Naked except for sneakers and a well placed toy chainsaw over the HEY-OH!!! Plus, it'll give me enough time to get in shape...I hope. He's gonna be a cool Batman.
Die Spinne: (Well...duh.) Last Halloween, I wore that crappy "costume in a bag" that I've had for years. Well I've got the materials (My dancer girl has dark blue and red spandex for days) and the desire- I just lack initiative, time, and any sewing prowess. Oh well. The less time I put into cobbling it together, the more time I have to get into shape...I hope.
Something from work: (Like a Pirate Bunny) I get one free rental during the Halloween season. That's anywhere from $70 to $120 bucks. I just hate to be one of my own customers. I don't like my customers, and I'd really like to continue liking myself.
What else? I think about this stuff until October 31st, then I scramble to throw something together at the last minute...like last year.
Dirk Pitt (From "Sahara") This flick could be a total mort, but the costume looks easy enough. Plus it'll give me enough time to get in shape...I hope.
Patrick Bateman: (From "American Psycho") I'm thinking little Empire of the Sun boy is a pretty good actor. Costume should be easy: Grey pinstripe suit, Power Tie, Business Cards, Video Tapes, and a plastic butcher knife. Easy. Or I could wear the "chainsaw" outfit: Naked except for sneakers and a well placed toy chainsaw over the HEY-OH!!! Plus, it'll give me enough time to get in shape...I hope. He's gonna be a cool Batman.
Die Spinne: (Well...duh.) Last Halloween, I wore that crappy "costume in a bag" that I've had for years. Well I've got the materials (My dancer girl has dark blue and red spandex for days) and the desire- I just lack initiative, time, and any sewing prowess. Oh well. The less time I put into cobbling it together, the more time I have to get into shape...I hope.
Something from work: (Like a Pirate Bunny) I get one free rental during the Halloween season. That's anywhere from $70 to $120 bucks. I just hate to be one of my own customers. I don't like my customers, and I'd really like to continue liking myself.
What else? I think about this stuff until October 31st, then I scramble to throw something together at the last minute...like last year.
Naked Neck
I got a haircut the other day. It had been a goodly while since my last one, due to the need for a little x-tra on top for my Elvis Pompadou. I kept it long througout last summer for the Fall Picasso re-mount... Even though I was convinced that I was going to be re-cast with a much better actor. "Crimes" followed a few months later, & since it's set in 1974 I decided to keep the locks long. (Again, figuring the Bee-Gee look was probably in at the time.) What can I say? I'm a "hair" actor. (And a Back Actor...just so long as I'm not a "hairy-backed Actor") I can see the text in college classrooms now: "The Coiffed Actor Prepares...their Hair" by Posislavski.
Reaching, P...that was waaaay reaching.
Anyhey, once the 'cut was done, I looked down to the remnant pile of my hair- Now resembling approximately 3 chihuahua's. I paid the nice lady, and split. And what do I notice 1st? My neck was Fuh-REEZING! Dammit. I'll miss you, long locks. Rest in pieces.
Reaching, P...that was waaaay reaching.
Anyhey, once the 'cut was done, I looked down to the remnant pile of my hair- Now resembling approximately 3 chihuahua's. I paid the nice lady, and split. And what do I notice 1st? My neck was Fuh-REEZING! Dammit. I'll miss you, long locks. Rest in pieces.
Tuesday, March 22, 2005
Last hit: "Why don't they fit?"
Damn, so many posts.
I own two pair of the same brand of jeans. One, a blue jean. The other: Same jeans, only in black. Both, the exact-same-size. Waist and Length. Equal on the tags.
Now, my little mathematicians: Why are the black jeans are so damn snug? (And, a hair shorter on the length?) Making me feel FAT!!!
And I shoulda qualified this Kaiser. I actually like the fat-free shite and eating healthy. I know it's a little crazy of me, but it's become habitual. (Real butter, Sweets/Cakes and super rich foods make me a kinda nauseous. I won't turn them down, say, if I'm offered at a dinner, or if I'm travelling and it's "on the menu". I just don't make it a point to make or buy the stuff for myself. You're absolutely right, life is too short- And right now, so are my pants.)
STAY AWAY FROM EDDIE BAUER JEANS!!! I AM TOO-TIGHT JEAN MAN!!!
I own two pair of the same brand of jeans. One, a blue jean. The other: Same jeans, only in black. Both, the exact-same-size. Waist and Length. Equal on the tags.
Now, my little mathematicians: Why are the black jeans are so damn snug? (And, a hair shorter on the length?) Making me feel FAT!!!
And I shoulda qualified this Kaiser. I actually like the fat-free shite and eating healthy. I know it's a little crazy of me, but it's become habitual. (Real butter, Sweets/Cakes and super rich foods make me a kinda nauseous. I won't turn them down, say, if I'm offered at a dinner, or if I'm travelling and it's "on the menu". I just don't make it a point to make or buy the stuff for myself. You're absolutely right, life is too short- And right now, so are my pants.)
STAY AWAY FROM EDDIE BAUER JEANS!!! I AM TOO-TIGHT JEAN MAN!!!
Troy sucks
J and I had our Monday night together last night, so we decided to shop for bookshelves (To create a "Bookshelf Closet Wall", grab dinner and a movie. Dinner was fine (A Crapplebee's gift card we'd been sitting on for a few months) and while we were digesting the last vestiges of Tilapia (me) and Garlic Mash (her), we threw in our latest rental from VIDEO STARDOM!!!
Troy: Sucked Trojan Ass. Skip it. Skipitskipitskipit.
Comment #1 (before she fell asleep from boredom) "There'd better be either some fucking or fighting, 'cause this movie is boring the shit outta me!" (cue J Laughter)
Comment # 2: (Lovey Dovey scene between Legolas and WhutsHerButt) P- "Christ...Act lately, Helen?" and J's "He sucks too."
Comment #3: "Poor Peter O'Toole. That guy was in, like, Creator..."
Comment #4: "Pitt's pointing his sword again. Just...pointing"
Comment #5: "Are you still full from dinner? I mean to, y' know? What? Oh..you're sleeping. Riiiight"
Avoid. This movie will cause dumbness.
Troy: Sucked Trojan Ass. Skip it. Skipitskipitskipit.
Comment #1 (before she fell asleep from boredom) "There'd better be either some fucking or fighting, 'cause this movie is boring the shit outta me!" (cue J Laughter)
Comment # 2: (Lovey Dovey scene between Legolas and WhutsHerButt) P- "Christ...Act lately, Helen?" and J's "He sucks too."
Comment #3: "Poor Peter O'Toole. That guy was in, like, Creator..."
Comment #4: "Pitt's pointing his sword again. Just...pointing"
Comment #5: "Are you still full from dinner? I mean to, y' know? What? Oh..you're sleeping. Riiiight"
Avoid. This movie will cause dumbness.
I eat like shite.
Due to all the flak I get regarding my diet, I'm getting pretty self conscious nowadays 'cause of how I eat. I can't help it folks, since my dad's angiogram in 1989, my family just started eating healthier. I just stayed with it. (Sorry mom, dad, and bro.)
If you've ever read what a bodybuilder or athlete's in training eat- that's me. Not the 3 to 5000 calories, but the type food: Plain. Plain water packed tuna, which illicit's the "Ewwww, what's that smell" response from my co-workers (Now I have to make stealth trips into the breakroom to open the can, get it ready, clean out the can, and hope that no one is the wiser. Still, it can't smell anyworse than their burned microwave popcorn or shitty lean cuisine. )
I do egg beaters (AGAIN with the gay!!!??) or use egg whites when cooking, what bread we have is whole grain, and most everything else has taken on a tinge of fat-freeness. (Including cheese, much to my cheese-lovin fiancee's chagrin. For the record, we get his and her cheeses now.) I steam, I grill, I broil (in lieu of frying), I don't eat much of the sweets (again, abhorrent to the fiancee- who makes Kemps Cow Tracks part of her nightly ritual), and cripes I've even taken to eating low-sodium turkey breast from the deli- plain. (W/a little spicy mustard.) And I even get my 5 servings of veggies daily. Usually plain.
And yes, co-workers, I count the calories and stay away from your Krispy Kreme Fridays. I've discovered the intrinsic joy of 'za with veggies in lieu of meat, (Record # 2; Luce' has some of the best vegetarian pizza's around- And I ain't no vegetarian), love me the Canyon Trail mix, and yes...yes: We even Juice.
And I do this every-single-day.
I've even turned the tables on the naysayers, the weekend athletes and fad-dieters- You know the ones. I give them right back the sneers and digs with my own underhanded commentary. Go on! Go on and Drink that Diet Coke with your cheesecake! They counteract each other, DaVinci! HERE's the latest: Reading a fellow blogger waxing poetic on her beef stew/beef gravy just grosses me OUT. BLEARGH! Or a few weeks ago, while sampling a chili recipe I said "Do you know what makes for good chili? Brown tofu in BBQ sauce." The person looked at me and laughed. You know the laugh? Where they stop laughing and get the "Oh, you aren't joking" face. Whatev. Atkins followers? Get some balance. You'll choke your brain.
While I do have my concession's to fame ( The occasional buffet's, Skinny mocha's, I'm a sucka fo' Cheesecake, seasoned french fries will twist my arm, and I appreciate really great cut of steak.) I'm now slowly cutting out the remaining naughty-naughties that once helped to balance my life (Caffeine, Carcinogens, andwine.) and progressing through my 30's with this crazy idea that the best way to stay healthy...is to eat less-eat healthier-and exercise. To those gross hypocrites who bitch about their weight while shovelling Hamburger Helper Hotdish in their mouth? Figure it out. It takes work (Not Hollywood 3 hour a day/6 day a week work w/a nutrionist..but, y'know- a little discipline.) And, it works for me anyway. Dear God, I weigh the same (less) now than I did 12 years ago in High School.
Now if you'll excuse me...I need to finish my barfy green tea.
If you've ever read what a bodybuilder or athlete's in training eat- that's me. Not the 3 to 5000 calories, but the type food: Plain. Plain water packed tuna, which illicit's the "Ewwww, what's that smell" response from my co-workers (Now I have to make stealth trips into the breakroom to open the can, get it ready, clean out the can, and hope that no one is the wiser. Still, it can't smell anyworse than their burned microwave popcorn or shitty lean cuisine. )
I do egg beaters (AGAIN with the gay!!!??) or use egg whites when cooking, what bread we have is whole grain, and most everything else has taken on a tinge of fat-freeness. (Including cheese, much to my cheese-lovin fiancee's chagrin. For the record, we get his and her cheeses now.) I steam, I grill, I broil (in lieu of frying), I don't eat much of the sweets (again, abhorrent to the fiancee- who makes Kemps Cow Tracks part of her nightly ritual), and cripes I've even taken to eating low-sodium turkey breast from the deli- plain. (W/a little spicy mustard.) And I even get my 5 servings of veggies daily. Usually plain.
And yes, co-workers, I count the calories and stay away from your Krispy Kreme Fridays. I've discovered the intrinsic joy of 'za with veggies in lieu of meat, (Record # 2; Luce' has some of the best vegetarian pizza's around- And I ain't no vegetarian), love me the Canyon Trail mix, and yes...yes: We even Juice.
And I do this every-single-day.
I've even turned the tables on the naysayers, the weekend athletes and fad-dieters- You know the ones. I give them right back the sneers and digs with my own underhanded commentary. Go on! Go on and Drink that Diet Coke with your cheesecake! They counteract each other, DaVinci! HERE's the latest: Reading a fellow blogger waxing poetic on her beef stew/beef gravy just grosses me OUT. BLEARGH! Or a few weeks ago, while sampling a chili recipe I said "Do you know what makes for good chili? Brown tofu in BBQ sauce." The person looked at me and laughed. You know the laugh? Where they stop laughing and get the "Oh, you aren't joking" face. Whatev. Atkins followers? Get some balance. You'll choke your brain.
While I do have my concession's to fame ( The occasional buffet's, Skinny mocha's, I'm a sucka fo' Cheesecake, seasoned french fries will twist my arm, and I appreciate really great cut of steak.) I'm now slowly cutting out the remaining naughty-naughties that once helped to balance my life (Caffeine, Carcinogens, and
Now if you'll excuse me...I need to finish my barfy green tea.
Monday, March 21, 2005
I was a bunny pirate.
At work. This Saturday. Sometimes, when it slows down...you just do shit like that.
"Yeargh. Avast, and shiver me timbers...This bun-bun be looking for a booty o' snack carrots. Yar!"
Yup. Shoulda went to business school. Hoooo...hoo. He gets weirder folks.
"Yeargh. Avast, and shiver me timbers...This bun-bun be looking for a booty o' snack carrots. Yar!"
Yup. Shoulda went to business school. Hoooo...hoo. He gets weirder folks.
Sunday, March 20, 2005
Metrosexual Justifications
"You are the GAYEST straight man I've ever met..." said my old buddy Dave S. as we were out for the geef's bachelor party last summer. His comment was born from the fact that, while my comrades were all slinging back brews and thingytails...I was knocking back a 2002 Pinot Grigio. In my khaki's. I get that sometimes, I assumed it was due to being clean cut, wearing pressed pants, drinking wine, unassuming, hammy but harmless, didn't date much as a kid/teen ("Do you know what Zero plus Zero equals??? FAAAG!"- Seriously, If you guys haven't ever enjoyed the comedy of "Kids in the Hall", you're missing out.)
There is the narcisstic streak (read: Dysmorphia) and I fret and fume about my chubs, eat healthy. I also happen to enjoy musical theatre, and I'm not a huge fan of sports or beer (I love attending the games, mind you- and that's my beer drinking time! I will not attend a Twinks/Vikes/Saints/Wild/T'wolves event unless I can have my pre-requisite beer and hot dog...waitaminute! Even THAT sounded gay!!)
I like labels, good cologne, classical music, I "groom", watch my posturing..etc I've had the rows w/less understanding ex's regarding qualities which they deemed "less than masculine" (Granted, this was an argument where, in the interest of being mean to me, the ex told me my acting was...'kinda gay'.) Even my big brother liked to fling out passive aggressive comments about my orientation in order to belittle me. (He's over it now, kids. I just told him he sounds like a moron and he doesn't believe that anyway.)
And here is a funny little Vegas story- Some drunk dude at Caesars looks at me and sez:
Life, my little porkchop. Get one.
I think when you strip down to the fundamentals (OMG, even THAT sounded Gay!!!) I've never really been too hung up on the label or caring what folks think. People that rail against gay marriage, and "Mo-ness" in general need to fix themselves a nice bowl of roughage and pour themselves a glass of "relax". Truth is I'm a lazy-ass, and being more open-minded and understanding sure beats holding a grudge or judging. Or "Grudging". Shitty movie.
So, yeah. Who cares, really. I'm off to the liquor store to pick up some more wine. Then to the gym. Then to shop for some new Gap Jeans. Why? 'Cause I can kick better in them, that's why.
Words of wisdom from P's dad: "Metrosexual, New Age Male, Sensitive Guy, Bunny Frou-Frou...they are all the same damn thing"
There is the narcisstic streak (read: Dysmorphia) and I fret and fume about my chubs, eat healthy. I also happen to enjoy musical theatre, and I'm not a huge fan of sports or beer (I love attending the games, mind you- and that's my beer drinking time! I will not attend a Twinks/Vikes/Saints/Wild/T'wolves event unless I can have my pre-requisite beer and hot dog...waitaminute! Even THAT sounded gay!!)
I like labels, good cologne, classical music, I "groom", watch my posturing..etc I've had the rows w/less understanding ex's regarding qualities which they deemed "less than masculine" (Granted, this was an argument where, in the interest of being mean to me, the ex told me my acting was...'kinda gay'.) Even my big brother liked to fling out passive aggressive comments about my orientation in order to belittle me. (He's over it now, kids. I just told him he sounds like a moron and he doesn't believe that anyway.)
And here is a funny little Vegas story- Some drunk dude at Caesars looks at me and sez:
- "Hey Man..I luhh..like yer shurt..."
- (me) "Thanks".
- "Dood! I not fuckin' gay, aiiight?"
Life, my little porkchop. Get one.
I think when you strip down to the fundamentals (OMG, even THAT sounded Gay!!!) I've never really been too hung up on the label or caring what folks think. People that rail against gay marriage, and "Mo-ness" in general need to fix themselves a nice bowl of roughage and pour themselves a glass of "relax". Truth is I'm a lazy-ass, and being more open-minded and understanding sure beats holding a grudge or judging. Or "Grudging". Shitty movie.
So, yeah. Who cares, really. I'm off to the liquor store to pick up some more wine. Then to the gym. Then to shop for some new Gap Jeans. Why? 'Cause I can kick better in them, that's why.
Words of wisdom from P's dad: "Metrosexual, New Age Male, Sensitive Guy, Bunny Frou-Frou...they are all the same damn thing"
Thursday, March 17, 2005
A naughty little story...
You know...you can learn a lot about patience when you've spent 24 years thinking about being naughty. See, I've got this weird, euphemistic, flirty, perv-o side that I've carried around for a better part of my life. I couldn't (read: didn't care to) explain it for a while until I discovered my "root". (Get it? : )
Since I wasn't one the kids who loved to play sports, I spent the better part of my childhood pursuing two past times:
(1) The pursuit of all things geeky, including playing make-believe super hero, reading, comics,
and spending an exceptional amount of time in my head.
This is where we come to past time # 2
(2) Imagining what the 1st time I have sex is going to be like.
At age 4, whilst snooping in my folks room one X-mas, my big brother and I happened upon "the stash". And though we both pretended like we weren't interested, you're damn right we snuck right back into find the smut when our folks weren't around. And like a good nerd, I didn't make these quick visits to spanky town...no no no! I would casually sneak them back to my room and read'em. Front to back. And while in the early years I mostly used to enjoy the dirty comics - it was after I turned all of 10 that I started to read stories. Stories by people I had never heard of: Norman Mailer, Truman Capote, Ron Kovic, Buck Henry. I read the 1st transcript short story of "First Blood", I found an article by one of my favorite's Issac Asimov (Time Travel and Dinosaurs! In a nudie mag?) the stories were great! Except, yeah, there were some boobs. And the forum letters.
After reading the self-help sections, the "How-To" articles (Graftenberg? Gesundheit!!!) I grew more and more curious, and anxiously awaited the first time I would get try these wonderful things. (And heck, the couples in the pictures seemed to be having fun.) Mom and Dad must have caught on to my traipsings into the "stash" as they attempted several times to move it around. I ended up receiving the birds and the bee's talk at age 10 while she tested for her RN degree. (All those Anatomy books lying around, it was bound to happen).
And yet, I fumbled. 7th grade rolls around, and I'm still sporting the baby fat. I watched other guys hook up, the "beautiful ones". I left dances and skate parties depressed, while others clicked braces to "Open Arms". Fuck, man, that dude over there is in remedial MATH and HE's getting some. Oh well...at least I had the "stash".
So, I worked my dirty jokes, and being the funny guy. I figured I'd never impress the ladies with my extensive knowledge of Doctor Who...so I managed to work on my charm school (And mom was an old Southern Belle, so flirting was kinda easy. And watching the way my old man listens to every-single-word you say...) I started exercising, figuring since I wasn't the hottest chalk on the block, I might was well be in shape. Practice Practice Practice...but with nary an outlet! Until High School.
Yes! Joy! Rapture! Finally! I get a gurlyfriend, the moment will commence!!! We have stated our intent, we even picked a DAY! I've read about this moment for so many years...Thanks, Secret Stash, and thanks mom for the condoms you got me last X-mas. The bra goes buh-bye with a deft, one handed flick...clothes are lost, Houston- we're cleared and ready annnnnd.... nobody said there would be crying. (Insert sound of slide whistle going doooowwn.) And no one said I would stay with her for the next 3 years. Yeesh. I went from being Ferris, to being Cameron. And she cheated on me 5 times!
I pondered this the other day, when J was in the bath and I walked by asking "do you need me to wash your back???" ("No")..."Oh. Do you want me to wash your front?"
Ah cha cha cha...I've got all new old cheap moves to try on you baby!
Since I wasn't one the kids who loved to play sports, I spent the better part of my childhood pursuing two past times:
(1) The pursuit of all things geeky, including playing make-believe super hero, reading, comics,
and spending an exceptional amount of time in my head.
This is where we come to past time # 2
(2) Imagining what the 1st time I have sex is going to be like.
At age 4, whilst snooping in my folks room one X-mas, my big brother and I happened upon "the stash". And though we both pretended like we weren't interested, you're damn right we snuck right back into find the smut when our folks weren't around. And like a good nerd, I didn't make these quick visits to spanky town...no no no! I would casually sneak them back to my room and read'em. Front to back. And while in the early years I mostly used to enjoy the dirty comics - it was after I turned all of 10 that I started to read stories. Stories by people I had never heard of: Norman Mailer, Truman Capote, Ron Kovic, Buck Henry. I read the 1st transcript short story of "First Blood", I found an article by one of my favorite's Issac Asimov (Time Travel and Dinosaurs! In a nudie mag?) the stories were great! Except, yeah, there were some boobs. And the forum letters.
After reading the self-help sections, the "How-To" articles (Graftenberg? Gesundheit!!!) I grew more and more curious, and anxiously awaited the first time I would get try these wonderful things. (And heck, the couples in the pictures seemed to be having fun.) Mom and Dad must have caught on to my traipsings into the "stash" as they attempted several times to move it around. I ended up receiving the birds and the bee's talk at age 10 while she tested for her RN degree. (All those Anatomy books lying around, it was bound to happen).
And yet, I fumbled. 7th grade rolls around, and I'm still sporting the baby fat. I watched other guys hook up, the "beautiful ones". I left dances and skate parties depressed, while others clicked braces to "Open Arms". Fuck, man, that dude over there is in remedial MATH and HE's getting some. Oh well...at least I had the "stash".
So, I worked my dirty jokes, and being the funny guy. I figured I'd never impress the ladies with my extensive knowledge of Doctor Who...so I managed to work on my charm school (And mom was an old Southern Belle, so flirting was kinda easy. And watching the way my old man listens to every-single-word you say...) I started exercising, figuring since I wasn't the hottest chalk on the block, I might was well be in shape. Practice Practice Practice...but with nary an outlet! Until High School.
Yes! Joy! Rapture! Finally! I get a gurlyfriend, the moment will commence!!! We have stated our intent, we even picked a DAY! I've read about this moment for so many years...Thanks, Secret Stash, and thanks mom for the condoms you got me last X-mas. The bra goes buh-bye with a deft, one handed flick...clothes are lost, Houston- we're cleared and ready annnnnd.... nobody said there would be crying. (Insert sound of slide whistle going doooowwn.) And no one said I would stay with her for the next 3 years. Yeesh. I went from being Ferris, to being Cameron. And she cheated on me 5 times!
I pondered this the other day, when J was in the bath and I walked by asking "do you need me to wash your back???" ("No")..."Oh. Do you want me to wash your front?"
Ah cha cha cha...I've got all new old cheap moves to try on you baby!
Lang mai yer lum reek! (*)
(*) Long may your chimney smoke.
It's the only gaelic I've got.
Happy Saint Paddy's everybody. I'm approximately 1/8 Irish, and I'll be damned if I own anything that's green. (Scratch that- I've got some Summer-y Shirts and a green Hart Schaffer Marks double breasted suit...but I'll be fooked if I'm wearing that shite to work, y'all.)
I opted for a blue shirt...with khaki's. 'Cause see, first you get the khaki's- then you get the chicks.
For all parties interested- From the P Family Tree:
James Love immigrated to America in the late 19th Century. He hails from Ullster province in County Fermaugh, Ireland. Upon reaching America, he married a young English woman w/the surname: Saxon.
Okay, so my late g-ma's last name was Saxon, and she married an Ulrich, but- there you are. Funny that the Irish surname was "Love", yes? My Irishness.
Czech, German, English, Scottish, Irish. Damn. Could I get any uglier genetics? Dammidy Damn, I think I'll go eat a sheep stomach stuffed w/intestine and barley now.
It's the only gaelic I've got.
Happy Saint Paddy's everybody. I'm approximately 1/8 Irish, and I'll be damned if I own anything that's green. (Scratch that- I've got some Summer-y Shirts and a green Hart Schaffer Marks double breasted suit...but I'll be fooked if I'm wearing that shite to work, y'all.)
I opted for a blue shirt...with khaki's. 'Cause see, first you get the khaki's- then you get the chicks.
For all parties interested- From the P Family Tree:
James Love immigrated to America in the late 19th Century. He hails from Ullster province in County Fermaugh, Ireland. Upon reaching America, he married a young English woman w/the surname: Saxon.
Okay, so my late g-ma's last name was Saxon, and she married an Ulrich, but- there you are. Funny that the Irish surname was "Love", yes? My Irishness.
Czech, German, English, Scottish, Irish. Damn. Could I get any uglier genetics? Dammidy Damn, I think I'll go eat a sheep stomach stuffed w/intestine and barley now.
Wednesday, March 16, 2005
Ha' Wed' (*)
(*) "Happy Wednesday"
So being in a show where I have a bacchanalian amount of time to kill, I'm able to indulge in a beloved hobby: (No...not spankin' it) Reading. I blasted through 3 books over the 3 week run, Intensity (By Dean Koontz), Shadowlands ('bout gene splicing and mutant kids), and last but not least...The DaVinci Code. (finally) If I'm really engaged in a novel most everything else will melt away, and I won't put the dumb thing down until I'm finished. (Yes, Yes...I am that cliche') And the DaVinci code was no exception. Yeah, I know it's gonna be a movie- But I gotta give Dan Brown credit...he packaged himself a nice little book. (It helps that I like Grail and religious mythology too. Shit, when I was in high school on my "Career Placement" test I stated my interests included "religion", "mythology", "TV", and "Public Speaking"...so my results told me that I should be a televangelist. MmWAH HA HA HA HA!!!)
That being said, articles like this infuriate me, and also make me a little sad at how narrow-minded people can be. I love how they say b"Don't buy, Don't Read". Nice message.
Oh well. I'm on to the "Batman Handbook". Although in the "training" section it says nothing about studying martial arts.
This weekend, We'll be finishing the drywall with help from a contractor and with the help of J's dad, we can then start the plumbing. It sucks. It's expensive. And Geef and Weef...I understand being broke-ah-broke too. (sighs) When your pipes "Gronk like a Wookie" whenever you turn them on, it's time to get it done.
J finally got her New Years pics developed. I wish I knew how to scan and upload them. She looks simply amazing.
So being in a show where I have a bacchanalian amount of time to kill, I'm able to indulge in a beloved hobby: (No...not spankin' it) Reading. I blasted through 3 books over the 3 week run, Intensity (By Dean Koontz), Shadowlands ('bout gene splicing and mutant kids), and last but not least...The DaVinci Code. (finally) If I'm really engaged in a novel most everything else will melt away, and I won't put the dumb thing down until I'm finished. (Yes, Yes...I am that cliche') And the DaVinci code was no exception. Yeah, I know it's gonna be a movie- But I gotta give Dan Brown credit...he packaged himself a nice little book. (It helps that I like Grail and religious mythology too. Shit, when I was in high school on my "Career Placement" test I stated my interests included "religion", "mythology", "TV", and "Public Speaking"...so my results told me that I should be a televangelist. MmWAH HA HA HA HA!!!)
That being said, articles like this infuriate me, and also make me a little sad at how narrow-minded people can be. I love how they say b"Don't buy, Don't Read". Nice message.
Oh well. I'm on to the "Batman Handbook". Although in the "training" section it says nothing about studying martial arts.
This weekend, We'll be finishing the drywall with help from a contractor and with the help of J's dad, we can then start the plumbing. It sucks. It's expensive. And Geef and Weef...I understand being broke-ah-broke too. (sighs) When your pipes "Gronk like a Wookie" whenever you turn them on, it's time to get it done.
J finally got her New Years pics developed. I wish I knew how to scan and upload them. She looks simply amazing.
Tuesday, March 15, 2005
Geek with me...
I'll take all arguments and opinions in stride. This is frickin' cool.
I'm doing the midnight showing, as I have done 5 out of the 6 movies. (Star Wars was a birthday present for my big brother, July 13th '77. We stayed in the theatre and watched it twice.)
Ahhhhhh.
I'm doing the midnight showing, as I have done 5 out of the 6 movies. (Star Wars was a birthday present for my big brother, July 13th '77. We stayed in the theatre and watched it twice.)
Ahhhhhh.
Monday, March 14, 2005
Goodnight, Hazelhurst...
Well, that's done. "Crimes" closed on a good note, and having nice houses for the 3 weeks of the run really made it a great experience. Kaiser Roll and Dwin made a journey Westward on Friday night. Saturday was our closing party (Went to bed early again, per normal. Even after imbibing my weight in Pinot.) And Sunday we had an almost maximum capacity house...including my bud Ry-Gonn , his gf, and the Red-Hat Ladies. Ya gotta love the support. I got to raise my voice and give a shout out to the Barths. Their hospitality and generousity have been overwhelming.
I s'pose I should speak of what I did on my coveted "1st Saturday-DAY off". Not a fuck of a lot, actually. Exercised, put together this beeeyotch of a wooden file cabinet, and k-p'd around the house before leaving to Cloud City. Uneventful. Whatever. I'm old.
Guess what? Due to more house-shite, I have been forced to 86 yet another theatrical opportunity. (A new play reading* by this dude. ) Now, I haven't seen hide nor hair of him since Pie-Casso, but I hear tell that he's been prowling the seedy underbelly of Saint Cloud...looking for loose women and fast cash. fug. I really wanted to read that play. The man writes some funny shit.
*For the theatrically uninitiated- Playwrights will have people read their plays "out loud" in a Workshop setting. By listening to how the play sounds, new idea's can be bounced, characters cut/added, and it helps to shape out the play that will eventually be performed. The only painful theatrical experiences I have had from an audience standpoint have mostly been from sitting through shows that hadn't been workshopped. Which is usually the first question I ask the writer/producer when I see them after the show. Remember kids: There is much power in listening.
I s'pose I should speak of what I did on my coveted "1st Saturday-DAY off". Not a fuck of a lot, actually. Exercised, put together this beeeyotch of a wooden file cabinet, and k-p'd around the house before leaving to Cloud City. Uneventful. Whatever. I'm old.
Guess what? Due to more house-shite, I have been forced to 86 yet another theatrical opportunity. (A new play reading* by this dude. ) Now, I haven't seen hide nor hair of him since Pie-Casso, but I hear tell that he's been prowling the seedy underbelly of Saint Cloud...looking for loose women and fast cash. fug. I really wanted to read that play. The man writes some funny shit.
*For the theatrically uninitiated- Playwrights will have people read their plays "out loud" in a Workshop setting. By listening to how the play sounds, new idea's can be bounced, characters cut/added, and it helps to shape out the play that will eventually be performed. The only painful theatrical experiences I have had from an audience standpoint have mostly been from sitting through shows that hadn't been workshopped. Which is usually the first question I ask the writer/producer when I see them after the show. Remember kids: There is much power in listening.
Friday, March 11, 2005
Cat persons
Noise
The 80's station must have some fruity rule where they have to play Van Halen's "How do I know when it's love" at least 3 times in the daily rotation. Hellooo? There were more than 2 songs played between 1980 and 1989!!! And cripes, they actually slipped "Love of a Lifetime" ('92) in there for good measure. (Blaine HS Prom theme. Lord, I had a Wonderful time at that one.) They did play "Rocket" by Deef Leepard which, for the life of me, I can't understand the words. Most folks that know me also know of my penchant for seriously fucking up song lyrics or adding my own. And if it annoys you, sorry but really don't try and correct me. I won't remember it anyway, and I'll still wind up sounding like "Nell".
"Rocket!!! YEAH-ah! Saymonahmahnaaahhhh! Git-TAR! Drums!" WTF? What were you thinking when you wrote that?
"Rocket!!! YEAH-ah! Saymonahmahnaaahhhh! Git-TAR! Drums!" WTF? What were you thinking when you wrote that?
One more "Crime"
One last weekend up in Cloud City. Ahhhhh the memories. Ahhhhh..the commute. Ahhhhh....uhmmmm. That's all I got.
Except that I have Saturday, Day, off. I haven't had a Saturday, Day, off in over 4 months.
I'm gonna sleeeeep. I'm gonna hit the gym...(In Minneapolis) and the Do to the Jizz-o. That sounded vaguely euphemistic.
AndAndAnd! Finish the fracking Frack Drywall.
Folks. I would be a greater schmuck than I already am without pointing out that my friend, the Geef, has parted ways with an exceptional amount of weight. That good news will carry me through the weekend. Right, fucking, on!!!!
Except that I have Saturday, Day, off. I haven't had a Saturday, Day, off in over 4 months.
I'm gonna sleeeeep. I'm gonna hit the gym...(In Minneapolis) and the Do to the Jizz-o. That sounded vaguely euphemistic.
AndAndAnd! Finish the fracking Frack Drywall.
Folks. I would be a greater schmuck than I already am without pointing out that my friend, the Geef, has parted ways with an exceptional amount of weight. That good news will carry me through the weekend. Right, fucking, on!!!!
Thursday, March 10, 2005
Humor from the dojo...
Sample email from P and his brother:
Bro: Hey_____, do you still have/use that katana?
Me: Yes I do. Why?
Bro: Could I possibly borrow/buy it from you?
Me: No...you can have it, dingle-fritz...jeez louise. I'd be honored if it found it's way into somebodies hands who would use it. BTW, why do you need it? You aren't mad at your wife are you?
Bro: No, I'm practicing my Gum Do sword-drawing...I'd like something else besides the bokan to work with.
I suppose the above dialogue is only funny to me. Anyway, I find that I am guilty of more than one of these. Much more than one...
You know you've been in the martial arts too long when...
*you say to the salesman in the men's store, "Nice pants, but I don't think
I can kick in them."
*when you want to say "I'm sorry" and involuntarily bow.
*you go to the shoe store to try on shoes. Instead of walking or jogging
around the store, you practice pivoting, sweeps, stances and kicks. You
check to see if the shoe has a sufficiently hard striking surface and
whether it protects the toes well. and lastly, you don't even care if (and
they probably are) the other patrons are looking at you funny. (That's the
big clue.)
*When you hit your head on a low doorway or ceiling and kick it in anger and
damage it.
*when you're practicing your arm blocks while driving down the highway,
notice someone in another car staring at you, and suddenly turn your block
into vigorously fanning away an imaginary fly.
*when you use various strikes to turn lights off and on;
*don your clothing with kicks, thrusts, and punches.
*open and close doors with spinning kicks.
*find yourself idly doing iaido and kenjitsu moves with the plastic knives
at the fast food place.
*can't walk by anybody else from your school without casually exchanging a
flurry of mock strikes and kicks
*leap to your feet and shriek with indignation while watching "Kung Fu",
"Walker, Texas Ranger", and "Highlander" at home.
*find yourself practicing bo staff techniques in miniature with your pencil
during dull meetings.
*try to backfist the correct floor button on the inside of the elevator,
based on your memory of the button's location, before you get in far enough
to see it.
*notice you never stand with your arms crossed or your hands in your
pockets.
*tend to keep at least one flavor of martial arts weapon close at hand by
your bed when you sleep.
*buy shoes either because they're particularly flexible or have steel toes.
*When standing in line you find yourself practicing some stance from your
art.
*When you bow going into and out of the bathroom.
*When you don't use any tools while splitting firewood.
*When you are introduced to someone and you bow to greet them.
Bro: Hey_____, do you still have/use that katana?
Me: Yes I do. Why?
Bro: Could I possibly borrow/buy it from you?
Me: No...you can have it, dingle-fritz...jeez louise. I'd be honored if it found it's way into somebodies hands who would use it. BTW, why do you need it? You aren't mad at your wife are you?
Bro: No, I'm practicing my Gum Do sword-drawing...I'd like something else besides the bokan to work with.
I suppose the above dialogue is only funny to me. Anyway, I find that I am guilty of more than one of these. Much more than one...
You know you've been in the martial arts too long when...
*you say to the salesman in the men's store, "Nice pants, but I don't think
I can kick in them."
*when you want to say "I'm sorry" and involuntarily bow.
*you go to the shoe store to try on shoes. Instead of walking or jogging
around the store, you practice pivoting, sweeps, stances and kicks. You
check to see if the shoe has a sufficiently hard striking surface and
whether it protects the toes well. and lastly, you don't even care if (and
they probably are) the other patrons are looking at you funny. (That's the
big clue.)
*When you hit your head on a low doorway or ceiling and kick it in anger and
damage it.
*when you're practicing your arm blocks while driving down the highway,
notice someone in another car staring at you, and suddenly turn your block
into vigorously fanning away an imaginary fly.
*when you use various strikes to turn lights off and on;
*don your clothing with kicks, thrusts, and punches.
*open and close doors with spinning kicks.
*find yourself idly doing iaido and kenjitsu moves with the plastic knives
at the fast food place.
*can't walk by anybody else from your school without casually exchanging a
flurry of mock strikes and kicks
*leap to your feet and shriek with indignation while watching "Kung Fu",
"Walker, Texas Ranger", and "Highlander" at home.
*find yourself practicing bo staff techniques in miniature with your pencil
during dull meetings.
*try to backfist the correct floor button on the inside of the elevator,
based on your memory of the button's location, before you get in far enough
to see it.
*notice you never stand with your arms crossed or your hands in your
pockets.
*tend to keep at least one flavor of martial arts weapon close at hand by
your bed when you sleep.
*buy shoes either because they're particularly flexible or have steel toes.
*When standing in line you find yourself practicing some stance from your
art.
*When you bow going into and out of the bathroom.
*When you don't use any tools while splitting firewood.
*When you are introduced to someone and you bow to greet them.
Wednesday, March 09, 2005
Bigfoot sighting...
Whoosh-
I was so caught up in the nice weather last Sunday I plumb near forgot to ruminate on my weekend!
Another terrific weekend of Crimes. Sold out crowds which is such a damn good feeling. Mom, Dad, and My aunt came up on Friday to check it out and they apparently enjoyed it quite a bit. We also were featured in the St. Cloud equivalent of the City Pages, in a yuge ol' article with yuge old pics of our 3 leads heids. The online rag only has the one picture, but they make poor Stone look positively frumpy. (In referencing the title, I'm in one of the photo's as a moving blurry flanneled ...thing. Like the famous loping bigfoot photo.) I hear tell that we'll have another full weekend, with my big bro, his weef, and my buddy ry-gonn attending. Gooood Times.
I should also mention that this is the 2nd weekend of Barties- (read: Parties at our Producers) I have so far ingested 2 full bottles of veeno, and awoke w/nary a hangover. Strange. I did, however, manage to slam my thumb in the front door. I are dumb.
I wish that I could wax philosophical about sumpthin...but I guess I'll leave you with some queeck heets.
-My uncle was in town this last weekend at the VA for open heart surgery. He's fine now, they've superglued him together and he heads home today. Yes- as quickly as you read this is as fast as he came and went from the hospital. For open heart surgery.
-J quit showchoir. This is part of the reason. The other is really (really) she doesn't like the fact that the competition got in the way of the kids enjoyment of the performance. Whatever. It was time. I did get her all to myself for what was the first night in, well a long freaking time. We went to D.P's for 'rita's (They skimmed on the tequila) And (strong verb alert)...I hate smelling like the restaurant the next day. And I hate being too stuffed to be naughty. Any and all movement would have caused discomfort and sickness. Oooooooo ah'm just sooo beeeg.
-I had to turn down 2 gigs that I was offered. Fact is, I need to catch up on some bills/kitchen shit ($5400 for the new kitchen) and work may be sending me to Boston for a couple of days (in May) People say "Durrrr, nice
Kids: I hate, HATE, not doing a show, and I hate saying No even more. (sighs)...maybe toward the end of summer.
-J and I are postponing the wedding until summer, 2006. See above statement regarding bills. We talked about it and figured that entering the rest of our lives as debt-free as possible was more important than racking up the Visa bill. (At this rate, we're gonna wind up like Nathan and Adelaide before we get married. ) Did I mention our kitchen cost over $5000? Yeeesh. Cry, P....cry. You hardass.
I was so caught up in the nice weather last Sunday I plumb near forgot to ruminate on my weekend!
Another terrific weekend of Crimes. Sold out crowds which is such a damn good feeling. Mom, Dad, and My aunt came up on Friday to check it out and they apparently enjoyed it quite a bit. We also were featured in the St. Cloud equivalent of the City Pages, in a yuge ol' article with yuge old pics of our 3 leads heids. The online rag only has the one picture, but they make poor Stone look positively frumpy. (In referencing the title, I'm in one of the photo's as a moving blurry flanneled ...thing. Like the famous loping bigfoot photo.) I hear tell that we'll have another full weekend, with my big bro, his weef, and my buddy ry-gonn attending. Gooood Times.
I should also mention that this is the 2nd weekend of Barties- (read: Parties at our Producers) I have so far ingested 2 full bottles of veeno, and awoke w/nary a hangover. Strange. I did, however, manage to slam my thumb in the front door. I are dumb.
I wish that I could wax philosophical about sumpthin...but I guess I'll leave you with some queeck heets.
-My uncle was in town this last weekend at the VA for open heart surgery. He's fine now, they've superglued him together and he heads home today. Yes- as quickly as you read this is as fast as he came and went from the hospital. For open heart surgery.
-J quit showchoir. This is part of the reason. The other is really (really) she doesn't like the fact that the competition got in the way of the kids enjoyment of the performance. Whatever. It was time. I did get her all to myself for what was the first night in, well a long freaking time. We went to D.P's for 'rita's (They skimmed on the tequila) And (strong verb alert)...I hate smelling like the restaurant the next day. And I hate being too stuffed to be naughty. Any and all movement would have caused discomfort and sickness. Oooooooo ah'm just sooo beeeg.
-I had to turn down 2 gigs that I was offered. Fact is, I need to catch up on some bills/kitchen shit ($5400 for the new kitchen) and work may be sending me to Boston for a couple of days (in May) People say "Durrrr, nice
Kids: I hate, HATE, not doing a show, and I hate saying No even more. (sighs)...maybe toward the end of summer.
-J and I are postponing the wedding until summer, 2006. See above statement regarding bills. We talked about it and figured that entering the rest of our lives as debt-free as possible was more important than racking up the Visa bill. (At this rate, we're gonna wind up like Nathan and Adelaide before we get married. ) Did I mention our kitchen cost over $5000? Yeeesh. Cry, P....cry. You hardass.
Monday, March 07, 2005
Feeling a little San Franny
It was 60 degree's on Sunday. I needed that, big time. Got up, went for a walllk around St. Cloud. GOR-geous. Shorts and T-Shirt weather.
It got me thinking of San Fran. I visited there back in August, and let me tell you that was a city to live in. Go here with me for a sec, think of blue skies, sunshine...the kind where as soon as you pass under shadows you get juuuussst a little too chilly (And maybe cross the street to the sunny side?) I hiked all over that hilly bitch, and lemme tell you that was a vacation. J did a live industrial for the Am/Ex convention and the producers put the talent up in the "W" hotel.
It frickin' rocked.
Personally, I'm a "Super 8" kinda guy , but I'm not gonna fool myself into thinking that it was too shi-shi for my tastes. One could get used to that kind of luxury. Starting with the all- black onyx foyer, the SMOKE FREE martini bar as you enter the hotel (Just like the Carpet...'cept cooler) , the super-fast elevators with the pleasant chime, the hi-tech workout room, outdoor patio with the covered kasbahs (One night, J and I saw one that was tied shut, and the soft moaning noise of a couple "coupling" was quite obvious. We laughed.)
There was also the soft jazz-techno music that starts playing as soon as you open your door ... The 500 T.C Egyptian cotton sheets (AND turn-down service), and to complete the image...a gorgeous view of the bay bridge. When I arrived (A few days after J did) she was waiting to surprise me behind the sliding smoked glass bathroom door. We didn't leave the room for a few hours. ; )
It was my kinda vacation (and this is unfair to J since she was rehearsing, but...) where I was able to get out and pound the pavement. I LOVE getting around a city on foot. Armed only with a street map and my jedi instincts, I headed out to see the city looking for an honest to God kung fu school in China Town. (This was, after all, the city where the master Bruce Lee had his humble beginnings.) Welllllll, I jibba-ed when I should have jabba'ed, and let's just say that you shouldn't go right when you get to the UN plaza or you'll wind up in "Cracky-Mc Crackwhoreville." Needless to say, I picked up the pace. (Chinatown was kind of a joke. Nothing like "Kung-Fu" the series.)
Our hotel was also right next door to the SF museum of modern art, so I got my city art fix (Fart fix). Seriously, I almost always have to visit a cities museum when on vacay. Even if it's as dumb as the Bubble Bath museum, I'll still go. I saw some Warhol's, Basquiat's, a few Pie-Casso's and even a Matisse, in front of which I exclaimed in a very loud and exasperated voice: "I hate him...I HATE...HIM!"
I nibbled on clam chowdah in a bread bowl on Fishermans Wharf and it is a long wharf folks...I thought I would hike it from the hotel. Again, bad idee, as I ended up cabbing back. I saw the "wharf seals", Alcatraz Island from afar (That fucker get's booked out a week in advance! I shoulda med rezzie's early. DAMMIT!!!) Took a street car, getting in trouble whenI did a "post-pike" off of the grab bar. (Where you grab the side bar and stick your body out in a "pike position". "GETCH yo' damn legs back in here! You'll knock yo' feet clean off!!!" sez the guide.) We enjoyed Ciaoppino and a little Pinot...just my baby and I. We just had a damn pleasant time.
And you know what else? There was nary a piece of smog or shite weather to be seen. It was just...perfect.
So this last Sunday, I just hoofed around Saint Cloud w/a Java Joint Java and enjoyed the sunshine. And remembered ol' San Fran, and a quote from the historical wharf. Wharfy, wharf, wharf...
"If the settler's had landed in San Francisco instead of Massachusetts...there would have never been an Eastward expansion"
It got me thinking of San Fran. I visited there back in August, and let me tell you that was a city to live in. Go here with me for a sec, think of blue skies, sunshine...the kind where as soon as you pass under shadows you get juuuussst a little too chilly (And maybe cross the street to the sunny side?) I hiked all over that hilly bitch, and lemme tell you that was a vacation. J did a live industrial for the Am/Ex convention and the producers put the talent up in the "W" hotel.
It frickin' rocked.
Personally, I'm a "Super 8" kinda guy , but I'm not gonna fool myself into thinking that it was too shi-shi for my tastes. One could get used to that kind of luxury. Starting with the all- black onyx foyer, the SMOKE FREE martini bar as you enter the hotel (Just like the Carpet...'cept cooler) , the super-fast elevators with the pleasant chime, the hi-tech workout room, outdoor patio with the covered kasbahs (One night, J and I saw one that was tied shut, and the soft moaning noise of a couple "coupling" was quite obvious. We laughed.)
There was also the soft jazz-techno music that starts playing as soon as you open your door ... The 500 T.C Egyptian cotton sheets (AND turn-down service), and to complete the image...a gorgeous view of the bay bridge. When I arrived (A few days after J did) she was waiting to surprise me behind the sliding smoked glass bathroom door. We didn't leave the room for a few hours. ; )
It was my kinda vacation (and this is unfair to J since she was rehearsing, but...) where I was able to get out and pound the pavement. I LOVE getting around a city on foot. Armed only with a street map and my jedi instincts, I headed out to see the city looking for an honest to God kung fu school in China Town. (This was, after all, the city where the master Bruce Lee had his humble beginnings.) Welllllll, I jibba-ed when I should have jabba'ed, and let's just say that you shouldn't go right when you get to the UN plaza or you'll wind up in "Cracky-Mc Crackwhoreville." Needless to say, I picked up the pace. (Chinatown was kind of a joke. Nothing like "Kung-Fu" the series.)
Our hotel was also right next door to the SF museum of modern art, so I got my city art fix (Fart fix). Seriously, I almost always have to visit a cities museum when on vacay. Even if it's as dumb as the Bubble Bath museum, I'll still go. I saw some Warhol's, Basquiat's, a few Pie-Casso's and even a Matisse, in front of which I exclaimed in a very loud and exasperated voice: "I hate him...I HATE...HIM!"
I nibbled on clam chowdah in a bread bowl on Fishermans Wharf and it is a long wharf folks...I thought I would hike it from the hotel. Again, bad idee, as I ended up cabbing back. I saw the "wharf seals", Alcatraz Island from afar (That fucker get's booked out a week in advance! I shoulda med rezzie's early. DAMMIT!!!) Took a street car, getting in trouble whenI did a "post-pike" off of the grab bar. (Where you grab the side bar and stick your body out in a "pike position". "GETCH yo' damn legs back in here! You'll knock yo' feet clean off!!!" sez the guide.) We enjoyed Ciaoppino and a little Pinot...just my baby and I. We just had a damn pleasant time.
And you know what else? There was nary a piece of smog or shite weather to be seen. It was just...perfect.
So this last Sunday, I just hoofed around Saint Cloud w/a Java Joint Java and enjoyed the sunshine. And remembered ol' San Fran, and a quote from the historical wharf. Wharfy, wharf, wharf...
"If the settler's had landed in San Francisco instead of Massachusetts...there would have never been an Eastward expansion"
Thursday, March 03, 2005
part deux...
Superman
Spiderman 1 & 2
X-Men and X2
The Crow
Batman 2
Hon Mentions- (Guilty Pleasures)
Condorman
Batman
Hellboy
The Incredibles (A superhero movie, yes, but it is still animated. I was reserving my opinion for "Live Action" flicks.
Blade 1 and 2
Can't wait to see:
Constantine
Batman Begins
FF (Ehhh, I'll give it a shot, but the "Thing" looks like a cookie.)
Superhero movie popularity runs in cycles. Just like all pop movie phenomena, you need to watch the waves and see what currently makes a "hit", and what type of genre film is signalling the "Death" of that current genre. I present you with the period between 1978 to 1981 (The early Superman Years), 1989 to 1992 (The early Batman Years), and now, 2000 to present. (Or, X-men to present)
When I first saw Superman, that soundtrack stuck w/me for months. I would hum it under my breath whilst furiously pedalling my big wheel. (Again, Star Wars was my 1st hummable movie theme...but this is superhero jive, fankids.) Next up we see the "Marvel Knock-offs", Spiderman (Starring "Rolf" from Sound of Music)...although I really dug the Spidey TV series (And his special appearances on "Electric Company") because..come on- He actually fought ninjas. And he had a cool costume. (But, dude had a spare tire. So whatev.)
Marvel could never quite keep the pace that DC maintained, and most of their attempts (Spidey, and do you remember the motorcycle-ridin/helmet wearin' Captain America? Reb Brown, btw.) on syndicated TV were never met with the popularity of the big blue gun, Superman. However, the death of a franchise can signal the birth of a different franchise, which means to say that Hollywood likes to maintain control over the publics tastes- How do they do that? With the dreaded sequel....the worst supervillain evah! Supes 2 kinda jumped the shark, and 3/4 were just turrible. After Batman (89), Batman Returns made a boo-boo by introducing multiple bad-guys to the story arc. (Which only works if it is a team of super-villains.)
And so, 1992 ended the last age of SH flix (It did give us Darkman, and a brilliant director of the Evil Dead movies who became more famous for the little spider that could), giving more headway to shite Rom-Coms, Action Flix, and the heady cerebral brit film. (Shadowlands, anyone?) 1994 brought us Clerks and the "popular" Indie film, which (smattered with pop/comic references) started to smooth the pavement for the re-birth of the comic film. We almost lost hope with B & R (And all wished the hairy death of Schumacher), for even though The Crow (Delish) was a provoking comic-noir film, it didn't have the impact it should have except for "The Tragedy". Most folks didn't realize that Blade was a bit player in a Spidey comic, or even a "Punisher for Vampires". (We still stung with Dolph's "Puke-nisher") Still, Blade was cool, and paved the way to an even cooler sequel (gasp! A concept!) and amped up the public interest. (And Marvels stock...it was time.) DC, the once might powerhouse, could not score a hit if it was playing tee-ball. (Thank God for 1998, and the Matrix. A comic movie, for certain, but I still see it as "Sci-Fi"...that age was the re-birth of the MEGA Sci-Fi/Fantasy era that will be closing with Ep3. I digress)
So X-Men busted out and they did it right. Technology and a good director made it a great film (Although, technically, the 1st one was a "Wolverine" movie) The sequel, despite historical proof, kicked booty. And, even for the Mighty Morphin Green Goblin, Toby-Spidey presented us with one of the best damn "Origin" movies to date. For the seriousness of Donner's Superman, we had a kid showing how excited a kid can get when he discovers he has super powers. And wait, a sequel where they KICKED ass, and didn't fall prey to the "multi-bad-guy" angle that has fallen other sh-sequels. (I'll bet Venom will be in the 3rd film, but It'd kick MUCH ass if they could show Spidey fighting the Sinister Syndicate!) And a new director will usher in the 3rd X-film, which has historically shown the destruction of a franchise. (Could be wrong though) and they've given "Mr. Usual Suspects" the Helm of the new Superman movie...could be good.
Moments I thought they would "Jump the Shark" w/in the last 5 years- The Punisher, Daredevil, Blade 3, Cat Ass-woman and Elektra. I only saw Daredevil, which (I'll say) didn't suck as badly as it could have...but I want to kick Baffleck in the shins, so that didn't help the cause. The rest...uhhh look awful.
So Batman...still looks like a rubber-suit made to sell toys. Would it KILL them to put him in fabric tights!? I like the director, and the direction they're going with it...so I'm keeping my fingies crossed. Same with Superman. Heck, for all of the new Superhero movies that come out. They keep me in hope.
ps: On a plane ride back from London, I was able to watch "Spidey 1" many times b4 getting back to the states. (It was either that, or the "Rookie". Barf) My mom was watching it simultaneously and when we got to the part where Toby 1st flexes his new "Spider-Muscles" ...my mom w/o missing a beat pokes my stomach and sez "Better work on your sit-ups, kiddo". I love her
Spiderman 1 & 2
X-Men and X2
The Crow
Batman 2
Hon Mentions- (Guilty Pleasures)
Condorman
Batman
Hellboy
The Incredibles (A superhero movie, yes, but it is still animated. I was reserving my opinion for "Live Action" flicks.
Blade 1 and 2
Can't wait to see:
Constantine
Batman Begins
FF (Ehhh, I'll give it a shot, but the "Thing" looks like a cookie.)
Superhero movie popularity runs in cycles. Just like all pop movie phenomena, you need to watch the waves and see what currently makes a "hit", and what type of genre film is signalling the "Death" of that current genre. I present you with the period between 1978 to 1981 (The early Superman Years), 1989 to 1992 (The early Batman Years), and now, 2000 to present. (Or, X-men to present)
When I first saw Superman, that soundtrack stuck w/me for months. I would hum it under my breath whilst furiously pedalling my big wheel. (Again, Star Wars was my 1st hummable movie theme...but this is superhero jive, fankids.) Next up we see the "Marvel Knock-offs", Spiderman (Starring "Rolf" from Sound of Music)...although I really dug the Spidey TV series (And his special appearances on "Electric Company") because..come on- He actually fought ninjas. And he had a cool costume. (But, dude had a spare tire. So whatev.)
Marvel could never quite keep the pace that DC maintained, and most of their attempts (Spidey, and do you remember the motorcycle-ridin/helmet wearin' Captain America? Reb Brown, btw.) on syndicated TV were never met with the popularity of the big blue gun, Superman. However, the death of a franchise can signal the birth of a different franchise, which means to say that Hollywood likes to maintain control over the publics tastes- How do they do that? With the dreaded sequel....the worst supervillain evah! Supes 2 kinda jumped the shark, and 3/4 were just turrible. After Batman (89), Batman Returns made a boo-boo by introducing multiple bad-guys to the story arc. (Which only works if it is a team of super-villains.)
And so, 1992 ended the last age of SH flix (It did give us Darkman, and a brilliant director of the Evil Dead movies who became more famous for the little spider that could), giving more headway to shite Rom-Coms, Action Flix, and the heady cerebral brit film. (Shadowlands, anyone?) 1994 brought us Clerks and the "popular" Indie film, which (smattered with pop/comic references) started to smooth the pavement for the re-birth of the comic film. We almost lost hope with B & R (And all wished the hairy death of Schumacher), for even though The Crow (Delish) was a provoking comic-noir film, it didn't have the impact it should have except for "The Tragedy". Most folks didn't realize that Blade was a bit player in a Spidey comic, or even a "Punisher for Vampires". (We still stung with Dolph's "Puke-nisher") Still, Blade was cool, and paved the way to an even cooler sequel (gasp! A concept!) and amped up the public interest. (And Marvels stock...it was time.) DC, the once might powerhouse, could not score a hit if it was playing tee-ball. (Thank God for 1998, and the Matrix. A comic movie, for certain, but I still see it as "Sci-Fi"...that age was the re-birth of the MEGA Sci-Fi/Fantasy era that will be closing with Ep3. I digress)
So X-Men busted out and they did it right. Technology and a good director made it a great film (Although, technically, the 1st one was a "Wolverine" movie) The sequel, despite historical proof, kicked booty. And, even for the Mighty Morphin Green Goblin, Toby-Spidey presented us with one of the best damn "Origin" movies to date. For the seriousness of Donner's Superman, we had a kid showing how excited a kid can get when he discovers he has super powers. And wait, a sequel where they KICKED ass, and didn't fall prey to the "multi-bad-guy" angle that has fallen other sh-sequels. (I'll bet Venom will be in the 3rd film, but It'd kick MUCH ass if they could show Spidey fighting the Sinister Syndicate!) And a new director will usher in the 3rd X-film, which has historically shown the destruction of a franchise. (Could be wrong though) and they've given "Mr. Usual Suspects" the Helm of the new Superman movie...could be good.
Moments I thought they would "Jump the Shark" w/in the last 5 years- The Punisher, Daredevil, Blade 3, Cat Ass-woman and Elektra. I only saw Daredevil, which (I'll say) didn't suck as badly as it could have...but I want to kick Baffleck in the shins, so that didn't help the cause. The rest...uhhh look awful.
So Batman...still looks like a rubber-suit made to sell toys. Would it KILL them to put him in fabric tights!? I like the director, and the direction they're going with it...so I'm keeping my fingies crossed. Same with Superman. Heck, for all of the new Superhero movies that come out. They keep me in hope.
ps: On a plane ride back from London, I was able to watch "Spidey 1" many times b4 getting back to the states. (It was either that, or the "Rookie". Barf) My mom was watching it simultaneously and when we got to the part where Toby 1st flexes his new "Spider-Muscles" ...my mom w/o missing a beat pokes my stomach and sez "Better work on your sit-ups, kiddo". I love her
Wednesday, March 02, 2005
When bad things happen to good Superheroes. Part 1
Saw "The Incredibles" and it was cool.
I was a little kid and first stumbled upon a stash of the "Cabin Comics". (Comics which were unceremoniously dumped in a drawer up at our cabin. They ran the gamut from Little Lulu to Classics Illustrated to Superman.) I loved the mythology, (Pre-Joseph Campbell) and as early as age 2 I was knotting a towel around my neck and pretending to fly around the yard. My affinity for comics and superheroes had begun.
Spider-Man was the 1st I ever identified with, going so far as to wearing my makeshift costume to elementary school and starting a fan-club in 1st grade (My parents were called when 2 kids actually joined. I made them pay a Quarter to be a member.) My tastes and loves for various heroes bloomed after Underoo's were developed, and I could parade around the neighborhood as different heroes in the comfort of my skivvies. (My parents chagrin at this was tempered by the fact that I wasn't crying for toys, but in fact begging for undapants.) Captains America and Marvel, Superman, Batman, The GAH (An easy hero for me to be, blonde curls and all), Green Lantern, The Flash (If you're nice, I'll give you a funny "P's mom story" and tell you about the time I was playing The Flash and got hit by 2 girls on ten-speeds.) I started buying comics around '86, ("X-Titles" for the uninitiated) hung out with other geeks (Yeah...them), eventually stopping 'round 1992. (Too many cross-pollinated comics just made following too pricey.)
Years later, a co-worker geek at the Bullseye got me hooked again, showing me the coolness of particular artists and writers. (Gaiman, Miller, Moore.) Once again I started reading the comics- Watchmen, Dark Knight (Ok, I'd already read it but I hadn't bought it yet) Preacher, Sin City, Top Ten, The Authority....it was all brilliant. I've made it a goal to eventually collect the Sandman series.
It made me realize that my early love for comics (besides the escapist aspect) had fostered a healthy love of reading and learning, (Bruce Wayne and Peter Parker were both smart guys. Better to be smart and secretive thought I.) It initiated my early sense of morals and values which fit my nature and upbringing (Easy enough to figure out what's bad and what's good when your Dad is a cop) and a remarkably fucked up imagination. It kept me active, not only joining sports, but taking up activities which I thought would help me be a superhero: Martial Arts, Wrestling, Gymnastics, Rock Climbing, lifting weights. Kendo and Fencing was due to my love of Star Wars, but we're onto comics now, Fankids.) My only problem with climbing was getting down. Many a phone call my parents had to field, telling them that their kid was stuck up in a tree. I was able to push past my fear of heights too...even though I hate the idea of falling.
The thing is they're fictional, and I've never deluded myself into thinking I could fly (Another cute P segue is here, but I'll speak of it later) or that I could climb a wall, or lord knows dodge a bullet. I admired the discipline, honor, goodness, and coolness that went with being a super hero. Or just a hero. And there were little ways I started to learn what it meant to be a hero: Making someone laugh when they've had a bad day, or when they're mad. (It's what Spiderman would do) talking your way out of a fight, opening a door for someone carrying too many bags, stopping on a jog to help a kid who fell off a bike. It's dumb to look for honor and nobility in your actions, but ultimately (and karmically) I can be introspective and find the redeeming qualities, and for fun...I can blame comic books. It's a great feeling to know that your "secret identity" can gather a little respect...all by yourself.
And here I am, all of 30, and I just finished reading somewhere that, "In the comic world" Peter Parker is now a teacher, in his 30's. And he's 5'10", 165...just like me. And if you're curious,
I still own my Spiderman Ski Mask that I used with my costume.
But I wanna talk movies...so I'll movie this on to a top-tenny kinda thread. I just wanted to get that off my chest, but I wonder what kinda superhero are you?
I was a little kid and first stumbled upon a stash of the "Cabin Comics". (Comics which were unceremoniously dumped in a drawer up at our cabin. They ran the gamut from Little Lulu to Classics Illustrated to Superman.) I loved the mythology, (Pre-Joseph Campbell) and as early as age 2 I was knotting a towel around my neck and pretending to fly around the yard. My affinity for comics and superheroes had begun.
Spider-Man was the 1st I ever identified with, going so far as to wearing my makeshift costume to elementary school and starting a fan-club in 1st grade (My parents were called when 2 kids actually joined. I made them pay a Quarter to be a member.) My tastes and loves for various heroes bloomed after Underoo's were developed, and I could parade around the neighborhood as different heroes in the comfort of my skivvies. (My parents chagrin at this was tempered by the fact that I wasn't crying for toys, but in fact begging for undapants.) Captains America and Marvel, Superman, Batman, The GAH (An easy hero for me to be, blonde curls and all), Green Lantern, The Flash (If you're nice, I'll give you a funny "P's mom story" and tell you about the time I was playing The Flash and got hit by 2 girls on ten-speeds.) I started buying comics around '86, ("X-Titles" for the uninitiated) hung out with other geeks (Yeah...them), eventually stopping 'round 1992. (Too many cross-pollinated comics just made following too pricey.)
Years later, a co-worker geek at the Bullseye got me hooked again, showing me the coolness of particular artists and writers. (Gaiman, Miller, Moore.) Once again I started reading the comics- Watchmen, Dark Knight (Ok, I'd already read it but I hadn't bought it yet) Preacher, Sin City, Top Ten, The Authority....it was all brilliant. I've made it a goal to eventually collect the Sandman series.
It made me realize that my early love for comics (besides the escapist aspect) had fostered a healthy love of reading and learning, (Bruce Wayne and Peter Parker were both smart guys. Better to be smart and secretive thought I.) It initiated my early sense of morals and values which fit my nature and upbringing (Easy enough to figure out what's bad and what's good when your Dad is a cop) and a remarkably fucked up imagination. It kept me active, not only joining sports, but taking up activities which I thought would help me be a superhero: Martial Arts, Wrestling, Gymnastics, Rock Climbing, lifting weights. Kendo and Fencing was due to my love of Star Wars, but we're onto comics now, Fankids.) My only problem with climbing was getting down. Many a phone call my parents had to field, telling them that their kid was stuck up in a tree. I was able to push past my fear of heights too...even though I hate the idea of falling.
The thing is they're fictional, and I've never deluded myself into thinking I could fly (Another cute P segue is here, but I'll speak of it later) or that I could climb a wall, or lord knows dodge a bullet. I admired the discipline, honor, goodness, and coolness that went with being a super hero. Or just a hero. And there were little ways I started to learn what it meant to be a hero: Making someone laugh when they've had a bad day, or when they're mad. (It's what Spiderman would do) talking your way out of a fight, opening a door for someone carrying too many bags, stopping on a jog to help a kid who fell off a bike. It's dumb to look for honor and nobility in your actions, but ultimately (and karmically) I can be introspective and find the redeeming qualities, and for fun...I can blame comic books. It's a great feeling to know that your "secret identity" can gather a little respect...all by yourself.
And here I am, all of 30, and I just finished reading somewhere that, "In the comic world" Peter Parker is now a teacher, in his 30's. And he's 5'10", 165...just like me. And if you're curious,
I still own my Spiderman Ski Mask that I used with my costume.
But I wanna talk movies...so I'll movie this on to a top-tenny kinda thread. I just wanted to get that off my chest, but I wonder what kinda superhero are you?
Tuesday, March 01, 2005
The Seedy Underbelly of Show Choir
J choreographs show choir out in Bloomington, as many may already know. For the uninitiated, show choir is basically "choir", except instead of having an ecclectic variety of music (Secular, Showtune, Folk song, etc...) These kids put up what amounts to a musical theatre production number- On risers. Complete with Choreography (Hence "J") costumes, a full band (Not just the piano, as I remember in my days of old.) and a repetoire of pop and musical theatre ditties.
They compete, actually, at the local/state/regional/and sometimes (gasp) the national level.
However, they are HS kids, and J's biggest frustration tends to be the lack of focus/discipline in the group, and the fact that occasionally they just don't seem...in to it.
Last year, they had the good fortune to take 1st in a couple of contests. J was very proud that her medley (She helped cut the music)/choreography received high marks, and the kids were flying high. The year, with a new crop O' porkchops, she has to start anew. And performance wise she's picked a neat little set (Many songs from "Wicked") the kids haven't worked nearly as hard as they did last year.
So they brought in an expert. A show choir director from Sheboygan WI (Where they take their show choir very seriously) who has apparently many trophies in his case. The WI kids aren't allowed in ANY other extracurric activity when they get into their show choir. They EatBreatheSleep show choir. Shit, I don't remember choir being this competitive...but here you are. (I doubt we'll see this on ESPN any time soon.) Soooo, the Bloomie choir director decides to bring this guy in as an outside resource to audit the choir.
W/O telling J.
She sits off to the side for a while, watching him work, and finally gets up and introduces herself.
She leaves, shortly after, when she hears this comment from him:
"LADIES? Ladies...Remember: The bigger the hair, the smaller the hips!"
My mouth dropped after hearing that. Dropped. J was fit to be tied, and in utter disbelief. And they wonder why kids have body image problems? J hasn't spoke w/the choir director since Monday night, but I think the conversation ought to be a good one.
Had to get that off my chest. I'll post something fun later. I'd have kicked that fucker in his 5-6-7-8 shins!!!
They compete, actually, at the local/state/regional/and sometimes (gasp) the national level.
However, they are HS kids, and J's biggest frustration tends to be the lack of focus/discipline in the group, and the fact that occasionally they just don't seem...in to it.
Last year, they had the good fortune to take 1st in a couple of contests. J was very proud that her medley (She helped cut the music)/choreography received high marks, and the kids were flying high. The year, with a new crop O' porkchops, she has to start anew. And performance wise she's picked a neat little set (Many songs from "Wicked") the kids haven't worked nearly as hard as they did last year.
So they brought in an expert. A show choir director from Sheboygan WI (Where they take their show choir very seriously) who has apparently many trophies in his case. The WI kids aren't allowed in ANY other extracurric activity when they get into their show choir. They EatBreatheSleep show choir. Shit, I don't remember choir being this competitive...but here you are. (I doubt we'll see this on ESPN any time soon.) Soooo, the Bloomie choir director decides to bring this guy in as an outside resource to audit the choir.
W/O telling J.
She sits off to the side for a while, watching him work, and finally gets up and introduces herself.
She leaves, shortly after, when she hears this comment from him:
"LADIES? Ladies...Remember: The bigger the hair, the smaller the hips!"
My mouth dropped after hearing that. Dropped. J was fit to be tied, and in utter disbelief. And they wonder why kids have body image problems? J hasn't spoke w/the choir director since Monday night, but I think the conversation ought to be a good one.
Had to get that off my chest. I'll post something fun later. I'd have kicked that fucker in his 5-6-7-8 shins!!!
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