Sue me. I've been hyper busy here at work, I had to finish up Improv classes, AND trying to get ready for Summer at home- all while trying to train for that skeery half-marathon in June. Busy Bobby, I am.
I meant to post a Mother's Day blog, and seeing how it's now two weeks late I feel like I finally have time to scribble about it. As I said to my mother at the Bonfire Grill back on the 9th, improv was fun but I'd like to try my hand at sketch comedy writing. Her classic mom-inator response: "Well...it's usually pretty funny and good. When you aren't writing about working out or food."
Bah-dum, ching.
So before I finish my white chicken chili and think about how much time I'll have at the gym before Moda shows up- An ode to my mom. Starring sweet honesty, and a hysterical historical story.
Dear mom-
When I was in the 6th grade learning percussion, we were required to practice our drumming/xylophoning for one hour a night. As there were very important things in the world (namely, cartoons and Voltron) I felt my time may have been better spent focusing on those pursuits rather than training to be the next Tommy Lee. (Good thinking, 12 year old me. According to my best friend the bassist, if you're in a band the only person to get more tail behind the lead singer and lead guitarist is the drummer. Bassists, he said, usually fall behind back-up singers and the tambourine player. And the lead singers girlfriend)
Anyway, I became quite adept at signing "PP" in your distinctive font. And I was still first chair by 9th grade. You're welcome, and I'm sorry. PS- It was around 8th grade when I was grouchy and hormonal when I realized I had made a HUGE error in judgement and should have joined choir, as all the girls I journaled about and had love pangs for were in show choir. I forgive you.
Mom doesn't touch the sauce, and she hasn't for at least my lifetime. That said, it didn't mean we didn't have liquor at our home. See, they were quite the entertainers back in the day. And one of the nifty things in the old BP home was the wet bar in the basement. (Where I'd play "Cocktail" using empty 2 liters of Mello Yello. I wouldn't play Tom Cruise, but Bryan Brown's self-destructive friend "Doug". A much deeper character IMHO) Anyway, the dusty and dehydrated bottles of gin weren't much interest to me when I was growing up...but when I turned 16 they were of GREAT interest to my friends.
After some hard peer pressure (read: Probably calling me "gay" or some such affrontery) I relented and let them root around behind the bar. They bitched about how all of the bottles were empty or "gross", but got all a flutter when they found a full one...wait for it- Creme de Menth. Unable to remove a cap that had long since fused with the bottle, they gave it to me to open, ripping open my callouses in the process. Cleverly adding this awful green liquer to their Sprite they tittered at their ingeniousness before they headed to First Ave to see Trip Shakespeare perform. (We were always finding clever ways to mask our adolescent tomfoolery. Hiding beer in the "Ale" jug from "Brigadoon" when we were at Ren Fest. In empty weed N feed spray bottles. Sometimes an old shoe. It varied)
Anyway, the next day they looked miserable. When I asked what was wrong with it, apparently they were unaware that it would turn their stool bright green and sort of freaked out about their radioactive poop. So...I'm sorry for contributing, but it made for hilarious 16 year old comedy.
There. I feel much better. And now, two stories to cleanse the palate and help you understand the depths of parental embarrassment/frustration. And it can run pretty deep. (Sorry mom. These are too good to pass up)
When I was in 11th grade, Mom helped out a lot backstage during shows. So much so, that everyone started calling her "mom". One day as she was pulling up after rehearsal one afternoon, my three closest friends and I were heading home and as I hopped in the Voyager they started chatting her up. It was at this point, and please don't ask me why, that she (ahem) decided to give them an impromptu speech on the birds and the bee's in addition to the importance of contraception, dovetailing nicely in to her opinion on male performance...all while I sat trying to simultaneously cover my eyes and plug my ears. (To be fair, I had already had "the talk" and been getting condoms for Christmas since I was 15. So for that, I'm grateful since it helped me avoid any early embarrassing trips to Walgreens where I was on a first name basis with the cashiers)
Anyway, my friends just looooved saying "So that's all sex is, huh? 'Poke Poke Poke' and then you're done, huh? She's right, man. There's absolutely no pleasure for a woman when that's all sex is..." Actually one of them still does. (Grumps silently at aforementioned bassist)
Part two to come later or tomorrow...
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
Monday, May 03, 2010
Lazy Monday
Nothing new here, kids. Carry on. I worked. Came home to hit the gym and do PWYC night but failed. They run two more weekends so I'll pay full price. I love them. I'll miss them (even though I never had the chance to work for them except one missed opportunity in 2003) and that is that.
Subway breakfast sammy review is on the Hippo site (http://hungryhippopotami.wordpress.com/2010/05/03/enter-the-subway-breakfast/) Check it out.
Back hurts. "House Bunny" must be finished. More laundry is to be folded. And another week of OT must be prepared for. Bills need paid. And my last class tomorrow. Huzzah.
05/03/2010 Bachelor Meals
Breakfast- Bacon/Egg/Cheese English muffin from the cafe. Shut up. I wanted comfort food and had originally anticipate running it off. Who could have told me the day would have kicked my ass and my body was sore. Odin, that's who.
2nd breakfast- Banana and fat free cherry Yoplait.
Lunch- Chicken/Spinach/Artichoke calzone. Again, it could have been soup or a spinach salad but they rolled out the special today and it would not be denied. Diet starts tomorrow, right? And it was better than the first attempt I had a few months ago that tasted of calzone death. At least they stopped calling it a "pizzarito".
Dinner- Grilled turkey burger. The spares go in lunch for tomorrow. I had these in the deep freeze and knew Moda would never want them so I thawed them overnight, seasoned them, and cooked the four patties on the grill. My most ambitious bachelor dinner to date. I may even try the sun-dried tomato risotto one of these nights.
<---Mildly healthy Henrietta.
Subway breakfast sammy review is on the Hippo site (http://hungryhippopotami.wordpress.com/2010/05/03/enter-the-subway-breakfast/) Check it out.
Back hurts. "House Bunny" must be finished. More laundry is to be folded. And another week of OT must be prepared for. Bills need paid. And my last class tomorrow. Huzzah.
05/03/2010 Bachelor Meals
Breakfast- Bacon/Egg/Cheese English muffin from the cafe. Shut up. I wanted comfort food and had originally anticipate running it off. Who could have told me the day would have kicked my ass and my body was sore. Odin, that's who.
2nd breakfast- Banana and fat free cherry Yoplait.
Lunch- Chicken/Spinach/Artichoke calzone. Again, it could have been soup or a spinach salad but they rolled out the special today and it would not be denied. Diet starts tomorrow, right? And it was better than the first attempt I had a few months ago that tasted of calzone death. At least they stopped calling it a "pizzarito".
Dinner- Grilled turkey burger. The spares go in lunch for tomorrow. I had these in the deep freeze and knew Moda would never want them so I thawed them overnight, seasoned them, and cooked the four patties on the grill. My most ambitious bachelor dinner to date. I may even try the sun-dried tomato risotto one of these nights.
<---Mildly healthy Henrietta.
Sunday, May 02, 2010
Waste of Sabbath Space
I made good on my promise to myself that I'd get up and start today with (kind of) a bang. I managed to get to Subway (first and foremost) for one of their breakfast sammies. (Review on the hippo site forthcoming.) Sufficed to say, I was a little under the whelmed. For future reference I'll be putting together my own, thanks.
Okay, so I did make it to BP for part of my list. I cruised up to Hwy 81 and traveled North to Brooklyn Blvd before heading back East. Lots, and I mean lots have changed. Village North is now becoming apartments and it looks like a new development is being created on the corner of Zane and BB. White Castle, Walgreens, and the DQ are still there. Most of the churches. And the Hardee's come Italian fast food in the mall-ish area by Rainbow is now an Arbys, go fig.
Godfathers, Rocky Rococco, and Blondies? All alive. Blondies patio was hoppin. Even at 10:30am. (How Godfathers has made it is beyond me. Really. Most metro stores have gone belly up by now) I popped in to Mound Cemetery to pay some respects. Lamby is still there, albeit it looks more like a gray Twinkie as opposed to the lamb I remembered as a kid. Funny. I never knew the name of the kid...funnier still, I can't find that random tombstone I ran into that was a 7th grade classmate of mine. I swear I've looked every time I've been there for the last 15 years since I've seen it. And it's not there. I'm beginning to think I imagined it.
Anyway, I took pics of my schools...the old home. I drove past the old...old home, but there were a few people in the driveway and it'd have felt creepy. As it was they were checking me out as I circled past.
All told, my trip took around 90 minutes plus a gas up at the Holiday. I was mildly insomniatic the night before so I plunked down for some nappage after getting home and investing in lunch. (A fat-free bean burrito. Shup) I woke up with every intention of grilling and hitting the gym, but the Bean was outside using my new toy (the Weed Hound. No more popping up dandelions on our hands and knees!) So I decided to do some manual labor in the form of fixing the outdoor brick work and laying some more weed barrier. I engaged in some weed whacking until a piece flung off and hit my eyeball. Fun. I'll let you know if I can open it tomorrow. Go-Go Gadget No-Insurance!
My spirit failed and dinner ended up being Chinese. I couldn't muster the strength for much else. Theatre night #2 fail. Hey...at least I made it to TRP last night.
Not too much exciting, pampers. Laundry is in. My bed is made, the mattress flipped and rotated, and the bolts tightened so hopefully there will be less squeaking. (Shut it)
(Sighs)...let's see what the regimented week brings...
Okay, so I did make it to BP for part of my list. I cruised up to Hwy 81 and traveled North to Brooklyn Blvd before heading back East. Lots, and I mean lots have changed. Village North is now becoming apartments and it looks like a new development is being created on the corner of Zane and BB. White Castle, Walgreens, and the DQ are still there. Most of the churches. And the Hardee's come Italian fast food in the mall-ish area by Rainbow is now an Arbys, go fig.
Godfathers, Rocky Rococco, and Blondies? All alive. Blondies patio was hoppin. Even at 10:30am. (How Godfathers has made it is beyond me. Really. Most metro stores have gone belly up by now) I popped in to Mound Cemetery to pay some respects. Lamby is still there, albeit it looks more like a gray Twinkie as opposed to the lamb I remembered as a kid. Funny. I never knew the name of the kid...funnier still, I can't find that random tombstone I ran into that was a 7th grade classmate of mine. I swear I've looked every time I've been there for the last 15 years since I've seen it. And it's not there. I'm beginning to think I imagined it.
Anyway, I took pics of my schools...the old home. I drove past the old...old home, but there were a few people in the driveway and it'd have felt creepy. As it was they were checking me out as I circled past.
All told, my trip took around 90 minutes plus a gas up at the Holiday. I was mildly insomniatic the night before so I plunked down for some nappage after getting home and investing in lunch. (A fat-free bean burrito. Shup) I woke up with every intention of grilling and hitting the gym, but the Bean was outside using my new toy (the Weed Hound. No more popping up dandelions on our hands and knees!) So I decided to do some manual labor in the form of fixing the outdoor brick work and laying some more weed barrier. I engaged in some weed whacking until a piece flung off and hit my eyeball. Fun. I'll let you know if I can open it tomorrow. Go-Go Gadget No-Insurance!
My spirit failed and dinner ended up being Chinese. I couldn't muster the strength for much else. Theatre night #2 fail. Hey...at least I made it to TRP last night.
Not too much exciting, pampers. Laundry is in. My bed is made, the mattress flipped and rotated, and the bolts tightened so hopefully there will be less squeaking. (Shut it)
(Sighs)...let's see what the regimented week brings...
Saturday, May 01, 2010
Bacherlordom, Day 1. Here's the plan.
Okay so I'm left to my own devices. Yeah. What? Moda is on her big annual road trip w/DBs and they're heading out to the Maine-vein! (Staying w/CRT at the summer camp that they run. Climbing towers. Mountain Bikes. Hiking trails. I'm hoping this isn't like the summer camp memories I have from movies like "Meatballs" or "Wet Hot American Summer" but since it's way into pre-season I'm more worried about frostbite or rain-soaked campfires as opposed to the rival campers from across the lake vying for their affections)
That being said...wow. I finally get her back for a protracted period of time after her theatre marathon and I'm here at home. Soooo I figured I'd regale you with tales on how a monoganimal boy takes care of himself. (Sorry that I can regale you with Don Draper-ian exploits for those who like living vicariously. I just don't/can't play that game. What I do promise is that-hopefully- it won't be lame posts like..."Stayed in and watched 'Rapid Fire' again. It was okay. Tomorrow I'll be making gin and tonics...with ORANGE JUICE and watching 'Strange Brew'. I mean...I don't get the traffic on this site I used to so I hope I don't scare any more faithful readers off. Apparently all 3 of you.)
So I'll give you all the heads up and try to keep these short-ish. You've been warned. I don't eat well when another person doesn't cook for me.
We had our low-key send off last night with Moda making some delicious pad-Thai and then watched "Mad Men" (yay) and "Time Traveler's Weef" (Skip. Or apparently I have no soul) and I slept my first bachelor night in a year.
I'm doing OT at the office, and after we had a delicious catered "employee appreciation" from Holy Land Deli (I ended up explaining to people who were concerned about the falafel balls that it was really kind of like "Middle Eastern Hush Puppies") I was excited at the prospect of the amount of leftovers we had. To the tune of 8-9 pans of spiced grilled chicken, lamb, rice, and hummus. (Did I bring tupperware to work today? You know damn right I did.)
Anticipating a Middle-Eastern breakfast, I came in early armed with the knowledge that at least my gastro-intestinal needs would be met. Not so much. Housecleaning emptied the employee fridge. 8-10 pans of perfectly good food? Tossed. Baby P? Heartbrok...Pissed the righteous f#ck off.
So I worked and hit the 'Bow for some goodies. Breakfast ended up being-
1) A Clif Peanut Butter Chocolate Bar and
2) An on-sale bag of fake Lobster Meat
Clearly, bachelordom spreads fast than Ebola.
I hit the gym for some rehab (Finally. A proper leg/shoulder/arm and back rehab workout on the extension machine and foam roller. After a lengthy sauna and a hot hot hot shower I could touch my toes! I felt like an ambulatory human again, even for a little while.)
I managed a HD trip for some more cedar mulch (HEY! 5 bags for $10!!! Only until tomorrow!) and some potting soil and managed to get home to plant my potted pansies. (And why with the "Pansy"? They're hearty. Thrive in sun and shade. Why not "Kick-Ass McGoo's!"?) Well. My deck looks a little nicer.
Dinner is an egg white omelet with asparagus, soy cheese, marinated tofu, and spinach*. Basically what I have in the fridge with the hope that I can get through my Egg Beaters before they expire. I'd do it for breakfast tomorrow, but that defeats my weekly bachelor goals. WHICH ARE!
1- See some theatre. Moda and I were frassin' that there were a bunch of shows we wanted to see so I figured I'd try to make sure my actor-card was punched and do my part to support local theatre. I know tonight I'm gonna try and see "Relatively Speaking" at TRP. My buddies A and D are in it and Moda already caught a preview so I hope that I can make it. Otherwise I know I'm gonna see "Our Country's...okay" (Starting Gate's last show. Sniff) on Monday for PWYC and tomorrow? Well, we'll see. It'll be either "Queens of Burley-Q" at the History or I wait for the evening to see if the BNI has any shows a-playin. The rest of the week? Who knows.
2-I'm going to get a breakfast sandwich tomorrow morning at Subway if it kills me. I have no time or patience to try and do it during the week (I make my own work breakfast, folks) and even though I could cobble the accotrements together to make the same thing at home, I'd like to see what the fuss is over their "egg-white on an english muffin prepared by a sandwich artist" Breakfast sammy is like. Don't judge me, monkeys.
3- I've taken the week off post-race and I'm going to start race training again tomorrow. maybe 4.5 or 5 miles. Who knows. I may try and actively scamper out to BC to hit USA for some karate style action. I'm rusty. My back has been so f#cked up that even trying a front kick makes my knee buckle. Who knows. Could be fun. Could be damaging.
4-Drive out to BP. Dad was apprehensive when I mentioned my desire to flit through my hometown, but the closing of Brookdale has got me kind of nostaligic. Not a very progressive feeling, sure, but that's part of my make-up. Drop a carnation off at Eric's grave and say "hi" to the lamb. Traipse up Brooklyn Blvd. Stop at "Rocky's" or "Blondie's" for a slice or a salad. I dunno. Maybe I'll call the Gay Burrito and see if he's game. Leave an old man to his memories, for pities sake.
5- Finish class. My BNI classes (officially) end on Tuesday with our "performance" slated for Saturday. Anyone want to watch free student Improv, traipse down to the BNW. I won't give out the time unless you're serious. One of my classmates is s#itting kittens. Be nice.
6- See a flick on my own. "Nightmare" just opened and I have a jones to see either "Kick-Ass" or "The Losers". Which will I pick? I don't know.
There it is. Sorry I won't have exciting stories to post regaling you about my afternoon at BJ's for "Nickel Lap Dances from 3-6pm but I hope that my telling you what I eat/imbibe (Ooo...does this Chianti pair nicely with my microwaved Boca Burger? Should I do the fat-free Bean Burrito with Guiness or an ale?) will bring you amusement while I'm imposing a sort of house arrest.
For your amusement.
*Feel free to add sliced garlic and diced green onion/tomato if you're ambitious.
Heat small skillet to medium and spray with Pam. Add tofu, then cut up asparagus...wait a minute...garlic (DON'T LET IT BURN!) then spinach (and tomato) last. Simultaneously, spray a larger pan and let it heat up while this nonsense is happening. Once you've gotten around to seeing if the spinach is wilting a little, the large pan (on medium-medium high) should be hot enough. Add the egg-white Egg Beater (Or regular) to the pan until it starts to set. (Move the pan around the burner if it doesn't heat evenly) Once set, add the cheese, then add the veggie mix to one end of the omelet. Check the corners with your turner then flip and press the top. Turn the entire thing (try not to brown it) and transfer to plate. Add pepper, salt, or hot sauce to taste.
That being said...wow. I finally get her back for a protracted period of time after her theatre marathon and I'm here at home. Soooo I figured I'd regale you with tales on how a monoganimal boy takes care of himself. (Sorry that I can regale you with Don Draper-ian exploits for those who like living vicariously. I just don't/can't play that game. What I do promise is that-hopefully- it won't be lame posts like..."Stayed in and watched 'Rapid Fire' again. It was okay. Tomorrow I'll be making gin and tonics...with ORANGE JUICE and watching 'Strange Brew'. I mean...I don't get the traffic on this site I used to so I hope I don't scare any more faithful readers off. Apparently all 3 of you.)
So I'll give you all the heads up and try to keep these short-ish. You've been warned. I don't eat well when another person doesn't cook for me.
We had our low-key send off last night with Moda making some delicious pad-Thai and then watched "Mad Men" (yay) and "Time Traveler's Weef" (Skip. Or apparently I have no soul) and I slept my first bachelor night in a year.
I'm doing OT at the office, and after we had a delicious catered "employee appreciation" from Holy Land Deli (I ended up explaining to people who were concerned about the falafel balls that it was really kind of like "Middle Eastern Hush Puppies") I was excited at the prospect of the amount of leftovers we had. To the tune of 8-9 pans of spiced grilled chicken, lamb, rice, and hummus. (Did I bring tupperware to work today? You know damn right I did.)
Anticipating a Middle-Eastern breakfast, I came in early armed with the knowledge that at least my gastro-intestinal needs would be met. Not so much. Housecleaning emptied the employee fridge. 8-10 pans of perfectly good food? Tossed. Baby P? Heartbrok...Pissed the righteous f#ck off.
So I worked and hit the 'Bow for some goodies. Breakfast ended up being-
1) A Clif Peanut Butter Chocolate Bar and
2) An on-sale bag of fake Lobster Meat
Clearly, bachelordom spreads fast than Ebola.
I hit the gym for some rehab (Finally. A proper leg/shoulder/arm and back rehab workout on the extension machine and foam roller. After a lengthy sauna and a hot hot hot shower I could touch my toes! I felt like an ambulatory human again, even for a little while.)
I managed a HD trip for some more cedar mulch (HEY! 5 bags for $10!!! Only until tomorrow!) and some potting soil and managed to get home to plant my potted pansies. (And why with the "Pansy"? They're hearty. Thrive in sun and shade. Why not "Kick-Ass McGoo's!"?) Well. My deck looks a little nicer.
Dinner is an egg white omelet with asparagus, soy cheese, marinated tofu, and spinach*. Basically what I have in the fridge with the hope that I can get through my Egg Beaters before they expire. I'd do it for breakfast tomorrow, but that defeats my weekly bachelor goals. WHICH ARE!
1- See some theatre. Moda and I were frassin' that there were a bunch of shows we wanted to see so I figured I'd try to make sure my actor-card was punched and do my part to support local theatre. I know tonight I'm gonna try and see "Relatively Speaking" at TRP. My buddies A and D are in it and Moda already caught a preview so I hope that I can make it. Otherwise I know I'm gonna see "Our Country's...okay" (Starting Gate's last show. Sniff) on Monday for PWYC and tomorrow? Well, we'll see. It'll be either "Queens of Burley-Q" at the History or I wait for the evening to see if the BNI has any shows a-playin. The rest of the week? Who knows.
2-I'm going to get a breakfast sandwich tomorrow morning at Subway if it kills me. I have no time or patience to try and do it during the week (I make my own work breakfast, folks) and even though I could cobble the accotrements together to make the same thing at home, I'd like to see what the fuss is over their "egg-white on an english muffin prepared by a sandwich artist" Breakfast sammy is like. Don't judge me, monkeys.
3- I've taken the week off post-race and I'm going to start race training again tomorrow. maybe 4.5 or 5 miles. Who knows. I may try and actively scamper out to BC to hit USA for some karate style action. I'm rusty. My back has been so f#cked up that even trying a front kick makes my knee buckle. Who knows. Could be fun. Could be damaging.
4-Drive out to BP. Dad was apprehensive when I mentioned my desire to flit through my hometown, but the closing of Brookdale has got me kind of nostaligic. Not a very progressive feeling, sure, but that's part of my make-up. Drop a carnation off at Eric's grave and say "hi" to the lamb. Traipse up Brooklyn Blvd. Stop at "Rocky's" or "Blondie's" for a slice or a salad. I dunno. Maybe I'll call the Gay Burrito and see if he's game. Leave an old man to his memories, for pities sake.
5- Finish class. My BNI classes (officially) end on Tuesday with our "performance" slated for Saturday. Anyone want to watch free student Improv, traipse down to the BNW. I won't give out the time unless you're serious. One of my classmates is s#itting kittens. Be nice.
6- See a flick on my own. "Nightmare" just opened and I have a jones to see either "Kick-Ass" or "The Losers". Which will I pick? I don't know.
There it is. Sorry I won't have exciting stories to post regaling you about my afternoon at BJ's for "Nickel Lap Dances from 3-6pm but I hope that my telling you what I eat/imbibe (Ooo...does this Chianti pair nicely with my microwaved Boca Burger? Should I do the fat-free Bean Burrito with Guiness or an ale?) will bring you amusement while I'm imposing a sort of house arrest.
For your amusement.
*Feel free to add sliced garlic and diced green onion/tomato if you're ambitious.
Heat small skillet to medium and spray with Pam. Add tofu, then cut up asparagus...wait a minute...garlic (DON'T LET IT BURN!) then spinach (and tomato) last. Simultaneously, spray a larger pan and let it heat up while this nonsense is happening. Once you've gotten around to seeing if the spinach is wilting a little, the large pan (on medium-medium high) should be hot enough. Add the egg-white Egg Beater (Or regular) to the pan until it starts to set. (Move the pan around the burner if it doesn't heat evenly) Once set, add the cheese, then add the veggie mix to one end of the omelet. Check the corners with your turner then flip and press the top. Turn the entire thing (try not to brown it) and transfer to plate. Add pepper, salt, or hot sauce to taste.
Monday, April 26, 2010
Just do it
We made it, folks! Our first 10K done together. We both managed to come in around 1:03 which put us at approximately 10:10 minute mile! (The GetInGear10K.com website is cool about giving you an exact read from when you first cross the starting line to when you finish, thanks to this handle little electronic device placed behind your run number) I'll do my best to spare you the minutiae ("Went to be early, got up, drank 1 liter of water and a glass of Muscle Milk. Breakfast was 1/2 banana and a slice of wheat toast...") Blah and nope. Instead, we had some observations which we found interesting, weird, perplexing, and gross. I'll save the most gruesome one for last...
1- Holy crap it was crowded. It was a cold and drizzle McTizzly morning when we arrived at the VA med center parking lot. They had buses shuttling people to the starting gate but the line was prohibitive to say the least. (Per Moda: "If there is one thing I hate, it's waiting") Since it was only a mile to the pavillion we opted to hoof it. This was a good call. It got us warmed up, and our legs nice and springy . And it made for better people watching. (Maniacs. Seriously there were people sprinting past us. Hard. F. Core.)
2-Once again, I find myself feeling like the "Bad News Bear" of the particular sport I'm involved in. With karate, it was usually just a simple case of having mismatched gi's or hand-me-down bo's. No biggie. Here, I'm running in a t-shirt and swimtrunks (which, to be fair, were totally appropriate due to the biblical level of rain) when everyone else is wearing Under Armour or rain resistant mesh by-weave and special running gloves. (What? You need gloves to run? Why is this blowing my mind?)
3- I did pass a dude who was running in jean shorts. Jean. Shorts. So, you know, at least I wasn't that dude. Epic fail for him, and the dude hiking through Moab in penny loafers.
4- There was a distinct lack of Kenyans. IJS.
5-Never discount the power of a cheerleader. I won't lie. 6.2 miles might not seem like much to some folks but there comes/came a point, ohhhhh, around mile 4.5 or so when I was feeling it. Not that euphoria hooey either. My breathing became labored and I think I got first hand what an asthma attack feels like. .2 miles left and my vision got fuzzy. And past mile 5, my quads were singing a horribly off-tune song.
But the folks who'd yell "Great job, runners!" and "Almost there!"...heck, there was that weird girl who kept materializing every other check point (who, unless she was triplets, had to be driving from check point to check point) were really helpful in pushing through to the end. Thanks, nameless masses with the cowbells who laughed when I yelled back "MORE COW-BELL!!!"
6-A lot of runners have nice asses.
7-There are still quite a few that don't.
8-Moda was chagrined at the noticeable lack of Vibrum runners (for the record, due to the rain she refrained from wearing them. This time) but you should have seen her head dart around after hearing that distinctive clip-clop noise on the pavement.
9-We've been training for around 2 months now and our long runs have been 8-9 miles so far. But in spite of a fairly flat (and scenic) course, 6.2 miles kicked our asses two ways from Sunday. When we were done, Moda's already frassy hip and my frassy lower back were screaming. We swung into Pizza Luce' afterwards to reward ourselves and to watch her cross the street was like watching a senior citizen who forgot their walker. Seriously.
10- Female marathonists are also hard core. While we were waiting in line for our shuttle they were announcing the female half-marathonists coming around the bend...an hour and a half after the race had started. 13 miles in 90 minutes. Whoa.
11- Thankfully, there were no sightings of anyone making a mess in their pants. (Which Mo gah-RACIOUSly was able to direct me toward on the interwebs. Note to self- There are entirely too many YouTube videos of people s#itting themselves. PS- Martial Arts peeps can check out the BJJ match where this happens. Dude picked the wrong day to wear the white gi.)
12- UNfortunately...there was a bleeding nipple sighting. Gah. I can't believe I typed that. We were waiting in the long queue to exit the parking lot which was next to the shuttle drop off point. We'd periodically comment on the folks we'd see. (To the people who were still running? Quit showin' off. Martyrs) Mo was futzing with her Ipod when I saw the dude just...walking across the parking lot. In a white t-shirt. With bright red bloodstains running from his cannons...And you know, why white? Really? You need to advertise? Sheesh. Any way I pointed this out to Moda who took a second for it to register but her reaction was pretty damn stellar if I may say so. ("Hey look at that. Bloody nipples."/Beat...beat..."oh my God....OH MY GOD!") I mean, I guess I lucked out with only a little chafing around my belt line and a dime sized blister on my arch.
Hell of a thing to see in real life. I mean why white, dude. Gah.
Anyway, we hobbled home and later that night treated ourselves to pizza and Thai food for a job well done. Next up? Over twice that distance. While I'm certainly starting to understand the run-culture which has Moda in it's thrall, I'm not too sure I'm meshed in with it. One thing is for certain, and that's realizing that training is only about 60% of it. The rest? Mental. And here's me, who can't keep focused on one topic for more than 20 seconds.
Eep. D-Day indeed.
1- Holy crap it was crowded. It was a cold and drizzle McTizzly morning when we arrived at the VA med center parking lot. They had buses shuttling people to the starting gate but the line was prohibitive to say the least. (Per Moda: "If there is one thing I hate, it's waiting") Since it was only a mile to the pavillion we opted to hoof it. This was a good call. It got us warmed up, and our legs nice and springy . And it made for better people watching. (Maniacs. Seriously there were people sprinting past us. Hard. F. Core.)
2-Once again, I find myself feeling like the "Bad News Bear" of the particular sport I'm involved in. With karate, it was usually just a simple case of having mismatched gi's or hand-me-down bo's. No biggie. Here, I'm running in a t-shirt and swimtrunks (which, to be fair, were totally appropriate due to the biblical level of rain) when everyone else is wearing Under Armour or rain resistant mesh by-weave and special running gloves. (What? You need gloves to run? Why is this blowing my mind?)
3- I did pass a dude who was running in jean shorts. Jean. Shorts. So, you know, at least I wasn't that dude. Epic fail for him, and the dude hiking through Moab in penny loafers.
4- There was a distinct lack of Kenyans. IJS.
5-Never discount the power of a cheerleader. I won't lie. 6.2 miles might not seem like much to some folks but there comes/came a point, ohhhhh, around mile 4.5 or so when I was feeling it. Not that euphoria hooey either. My breathing became labored and I think I got first hand what an asthma attack feels like. .2 miles left and my vision got fuzzy. And past mile 5, my quads were singing a horribly off-tune song.
But the folks who'd yell "Great job, runners!" and "Almost there!"...heck, there was that weird girl who kept materializing every other check point (who, unless she was triplets, had to be driving from check point to check point) were really helpful in pushing through to the end. Thanks, nameless masses with the cowbells who laughed when I yelled back "MORE COW-BELL!!!"
6-A lot of runners have nice asses.
7-There are still quite a few that don't.
8-Moda was chagrined at the noticeable lack of Vibrum runners (for the record, due to the rain she refrained from wearing them. This time) but you should have seen her head dart around after hearing that distinctive clip-clop noise on the pavement.
9-We've been training for around 2 months now and our long runs have been 8-9 miles so far. But in spite of a fairly flat (and scenic) course, 6.2 miles kicked our asses two ways from Sunday. When we were done, Moda's already frassy hip and my frassy lower back were screaming. We swung into Pizza Luce' afterwards to reward ourselves and to watch her cross the street was like watching a senior citizen who forgot their walker. Seriously.
10- Female marathonists are also hard core. While we were waiting in line for our shuttle they were announcing the female half-marathonists coming around the bend...an hour and a half after the race had started. 13 miles in 90 minutes. Whoa.
11- Thankfully, there were no sightings of anyone making a mess in their pants. (Which Mo gah-RACIOUSly was able to direct me toward on the interwebs. Note to self- There are entirely too many YouTube videos of people s#itting themselves. PS- Martial Arts peeps can check out the BJJ match where this happens. Dude picked the wrong day to wear the white gi.)
12- UNfortunately...there was a bleeding nipple sighting. Gah. I can't believe I typed that. We were waiting in the long queue to exit the parking lot which was next to the shuttle drop off point. We'd periodically comment on the folks we'd see. (To the people who were still running? Quit showin' off. Martyrs) Mo was futzing with her Ipod when I saw the dude just...walking across the parking lot. In a white t-shirt. With bright red bloodstains running from his cannons...And you know, why white? Really? You need to advertise? Sheesh. Any way I pointed this out to Moda who took a second for it to register but her reaction was pretty damn stellar if I may say so. ("Hey look at that. Bloody nipples."/Beat...beat..."oh my God....OH MY GOD!") I mean, I guess I lucked out with only a little chafing around my belt line and a dime sized blister on my arch.
Hell of a thing to see in real life. I mean why white, dude. Gah.
Anyway, we hobbled home and later that night treated ourselves to pizza and Thai food for a job well done. Next up? Over twice that distance. While I'm certainly starting to understand the run-culture which has Moda in it's thrall, I'm not too sure I'm meshed in with it. One thing is for certain, and that's realizing that training is only about 60% of it. The rest? Mental. And here's me, who can't keep focused on one topic for more than 20 seconds.
Eep. D-Day indeed.
Friday, April 23, 2010
And I was running...
Hey, yeah, what? That's right. Tomorrow is the big day! 1st race of the...wait. I actually don't think I've participated in a Something-K since, oh, 1992? Since starting to run/jog outdoors in 1994? Huh. And it's all because Moda got a bug up her butt to start training a few months ago and now she's all wearing Vibrums and can peel bananas with her feet while wearing shoes and s#it. (I kid, I kid. Why? Because I love)
I honestly can say I'm feel a little trepidation even though we've been running over 6 miles fairly smoothly for the last month or so. (Ask me about our 8.5 mile behemoth we ran out of doors on Sunday at Hyland Park. 90. Degree. Hill/trail.) Not that I won't finish, or will be the slowest (I guarantee there'll probably be at least 100-200 Kenyans there). No, we've both remarked that our legs are pretty strong and the soreness I feel isn't isolated to the joints. (My calves and quads being sore where they should be for this much training) Nope, it's work.
The last 2-3 weeks or so, mandatory overtime has been in place. So I've been sequestered to a desk for anywhere from 48-50 hours a week, 6 days a week. Now, in spite of what you read in magazines about "stretching at your desk" or "taking frequent walks" (which, um, they kinda frown at being that there's this, I don't know, weird expectation that you work...) It's just the sitting and working has made my lower back frassy. Now, to be fair, when I'm training it actually feels fine. Doesn't make me bat an eye. But end of day? Taking off my shoes? That becomes a bit more of a struggle.
So on our nights off, we sit on the couch with either a bag of frozen peas or an ice pack and watch "Mad Men" (Moda has a frassy hip flexor) and will take turns rolling on the foam roller (yeah. I never thought I'd get one either. Shup. The dumb thing works) and popping 800 mgs of Ibuprofen which don't usually help too much. It's great fun.
So tomorrow around this time we'll be home probably icing our respective bits. High-fiving on our first run-like accomplishment. For my part, I hope to finish under 75-80 minutes which should be accomplishable. If you're in the area, I'll be the pale whale under a blue poncho. (Yeah, it's supposed to rain too. Natch) Until then, tonight is our complimentary carb load up at the site. Wahoo.
I honestly can say I'm feel a little trepidation even though we've been running over 6 miles fairly smoothly for the last month or so. (Ask me about our 8.5 mile behemoth we ran out of doors on Sunday at Hyland Park. 90. Degree. Hill/trail.) Not that I won't finish, or will be the slowest (I guarantee there'll probably be at least 100-200 Kenyans there). No, we've both remarked that our legs are pretty strong and the soreness I feel isn't isolated to the joints. (My calves and quads being sore where they should be for this much training) Nope, it's work.
The last 2-3 weeks or so, mandatory overtime has been in place. So I've been sequestered to a desk for anywhere from 48-50 hours a week, 6 days a week. Now, in spite of what you read in magazines about "stretching at your desk" or "taking frequent walks" (which, um, they kinda frown at being that there's this, I don't know, weird expectation that you work...) It's just the sitting and working has made my lower back frassy. Now, to be fair, when I'm training it actually feels fine. Doesn't make me bat an eye. But end of day? Taking off my shoes? That becomes a bit more of a struggle.
So on our nights off, we sit on the couch with either a bag of frozen peas or an ice pack and watch "Mad Men" (Moda has a frassy hip flexor) and will take turns rolling on the foam roller (yeah. I never thought I'd get one either. Shup. The dumb thing works) and popping 800 mgs of Ibuprofen which don't usually help too much. It's great fun.
So tomorrow around this time we'll be home probably icing our respective bits. High-fiving on our first run-like accomplishment. For my part, I hope to finish under 75-80 minutes which should be accomplishable. If you're in the area, I'll be the pale whale under a blue poncho. (Yeah, it's supposed to rain too. Natch) Until then, tonight is our complimentary carb load up at the site. Wahoo.
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Duplicity...or WTF
This is topical, but it's been stewing in my mind since last night-
So I get Moda back for around 4 months while she takes a theatrical summer vacation and last night was technically our first real "night" in on a school night. It was a breezy evening w/Chinese Food, "Mad Men", and the newest on her NF queue- "Duplicity". Now, I knew going in that it hadn't the greatest of reviews but I was willing to give this more of a chance than other craptastic filler films that've been released in the last 5-10 years or so.
That being said, I've watched mini-series that have sped by faster than the first 40 minutes of this movie. It was so head scratchingly awful, that the only 2 things I could think of was that (1) Julia and Clive wanted to do a movie together where they could get paid an a$$ load of money and spend their time travelling the world during the shoot. (Locations included NYC, Rome, Bahamas, Miami, and Zurich. And Ohio, natch. This is also called "Ocean's 12 Syndrome")
The 2nd reason was so they could put there own little "6 degrees" game together for film dorks (like moi) to get antsy in the pantsy and at least try and figure out why they put together this addled confusing mess of a film. Let me show you starting with the big guns-
Julia and Clive were in "Closer" together and must have had a good time and wanted to snog on camera together.
Way further back, Julia was in a movie called "My Best Friends Wedding" with Paul Giamatti playing the role of a sympathetic bell hop.
Denis O'Hare ("Duke") was in "Michael Clayton" which also starred Tom Wilkinson.
Anyway, these aren't all loose. The dude who played "Homer Stokes" in "O Brother" was also in the flick, which starred George Clooney who does crap with Julia and was also in "Michael Clayton" which was another hoy palloy flick (albeit intensely and insanely better) than this tripe.
My theories may be crazy, but there seems to be a hint of truth. I found it funny (in a movie that wasn't very) the lineage between Chive and Julio regarding how much $ they could get ("$20million?"/"I was thinking 40Million") could easily be analagous to how much $ they're getting.
Ridiculous.
So I get Moda back for around 4 months while she takes a theatrical summer vacation and last night was technically our first real "night" in on a school night. It was a breezy evening w/Chinese Food, "Mad Men", and the newest on her NF queue- "Duplicity". Now, I knew going in that it hadn't the greatest of reviews but I was willing to give this more of a chance than other craptastic filler films that've been released in the last 5-10 years or so.
That being said, I've watched mini-series that have sped by faster than the first 40 minutes of this movie. It was so head scratchingly awful, that the only 2 things I could think of was that (1) Julia and Clive wanted to do a movie together where they could get paid an a$$ load of money and spend their time travelling the world during the shoot. (Locations included NYC, Rome, Bahamas, Miami, and Zurich. And Ohio, natch. This is also called "Ocean's 12 Syndrome")
The 2nd reason was so they could put there own little "6 degrees" game together for film dorks (like moi) to get antsy in the pantsy and at least try and figure out why they put together this addled confusing mess of a film. Let me show you starting with the big guns-
Julia and Clive were in "Closer" together and must have had a good time and wanted to snog on camera together.
Way further back, Julia was in a movie called "My Best Friends Wedding" with Paul Giamatti playing the role of a sympathetic bell hop.
Denis O'Hare ("Duke") was in "Michael Clayton" which also starred Tom Wilkinson.
Anyway, these aren't all loose. The dude who played "Homer Stokes" in "O Brother" was also in the flick, which starred George Clooney who does crap with Julia and was also in "Michael Clayton" which was another hoy palloy flick (albeit intensely and insanely better) than this tripe.
My theories may be crazy, but there seems to be a hint of truth. I found it funny (in a movie that wasn't very) the lineage between Chive and Julio regarding how much $ they could get ("$20million?"/"I was thinking 40Million") could easily be analagous to how much $ they're getting.
Ridiculous.
Friday, April 09, 2010
For chuckles
Nothing great. I just found a trailer that made me laugh a bit.
http://movies.yahoo.com/movie/1810116447/video/19060028
Wooden gun, btw.
http://movies.yahoo.com/movie/1810116447/video/19060028
Wooden gun, btw.
Thursday, April 08, 2010
Training, Learning, et.al.
Okay, so the saga of the bogarted break-room creamer clearly didn't keep you all rapt. I understand. For me, it's the little stories that add spice to life. Like, for instance, my cat. Who was such an annoying pest the other night- licking my head, knocking over my lip goo/water bottle/NEARly my lamp before I actually chucked his ass underhand out of my bed. He promptly went into daddy's room (the Bean) and started caterwauling until he got up, went downstairs, filled his bowl, and went back to bed.
Folks, there was food in the bowl when I went downstairs not an hour before. 15 minutes later Georgie comes back into my bedroom where I can hear him stop at the foot of the bed. He then proceeds to puke (mind you- every time this cat vomits he emits a low, low growling moan) so this lead me to believe that I pissed him off, he coerced the Bean into feeding him (effectively "re-loading") went back upstairs and proceeded to do a spite-barf. He didn't even run off as I got out of bed and watched him lazily pad back out of the room. Ass cat.
So news. First-
The weather lately has been fantastic for early Spring. My tulips, day lillies, and many of my perennials that I planted, oh, two years ago? Are all popping up en masse. More importantly, all nine of the garlic bulbs we planted are starting to sprout! (My 1st count last week I only saw 6, so I chalked it up to zealous and hungry squirrel-terrorists. As it got warmer, boom. 3 more) Between that and the seeds Moda planted that are exploding we're going to have a veritable bounty. It'd be such a nice contrast with last years relatively weak harvest. I've even been contemplating expansion. GASP!
Second-
My contract here at the BGWC will be extended through the summer (if they like me) as opposed to running out in Spring. I guess the housing market is still buyer-centric and judging by how swamped we've been I should still be gainfully employed with a chance of mandatory overtime forseeable. (Boo...I mean YE$$$!!!) The downside is that I had to pull out of Paul Bunyan and it marks probably the first time in nearly 20 years of performing that I've ever done so. I need the dough, I know. It just sucks. A show would have been nice. That show would have been nice.
Third-
I'm currently in week #3 at the BNI's performance track class. I hemmed and hawed but the classes are pretty challenging and as an actor are helping make some discoveries. I don't want to get too poncey about it since it's a lot of what actors have heard before, sufficed to say it was a good choice and I'm getting a lot out of it. Class tends to always go over and we hash over what we've just worked on that night. So yeah. Playtime. Thanks, dad.
Fourth-
Since I've been in a learnin' state of mind, I'm going to take Choy Li Fut for 8 weeks. It's a class I'd been hankerin' to take (along with Wing Chun and Capoeria...and ball room dancing) for a while since I received the community circulars so I thought I'd give it a whirl. We'll see. Kiiiya.
Fifth-
Run training is...well it is. I've already made it past the 10K mark, topping off (as of late last March) at 7.5 miles. However, the nice weather has been taking me off the 'Mill and putting me on the proper roadways/trails. Except, and I won't lie... it's a bitch. I commented to Moda that I can definitely feel my legs getting stronger and my knees (knocking on wood) have felt okay. Holy Moly, my anterior tibalis and gastrocnemius are the devil. Just yesterday on an "easy" 4.5 miler I had to stop 4-5 times just to stretch it out. I'm hitting the gym to strength cross-train, but the out of doors is becoming a bit daunting. I might have to go back to the treadmill in spite of good weather. Frass. And here we did our first (and my longest) outdoor training run around Lake of the Isles/Calhoun last weekend.*
The races are 4/24 and 6/6 respectively. Think healing thoughts.
Sixth-
Vay. Cay. Shun. That's right, kids. Moda and I are West-coasting, heading out to OR to see L and D's wedding. Then it's a few days of scrabbling up and down the coast before heading home. Damn straight I'm happy. First proper vacation I'll have had in over 2 years. I need the ocean. And it gives my roommate his precious "house to himself" days.
Seventh-
Moda finally comes to the end of a long run of consecutive shows in less than two weeks. It'll be nice to have my cooking/gardening/frassing buddy...well to get my girlfriend back. It's gonna be Farmers Markets, dirty hands, bike rides, happy hours, and sunshine for buddies.
WaHoo.
(*Perspective- MD is running a 100K marathon for OXFAM. Holy crap)
Folks, there was food in the bowl when I went downstairs not an hour before. 15 minutes later Georgie comes back into my bedroom where I can hear him stop at the foot of the bed. He then proceeds to puke (mind you- every time this cat vomits he emits a low, low growling moan) so this lead me to believe that I pissed him off, he coerced the Bean into feeding him (effectively "re-loading") went back upstairs and proceeded to do a spite-barf. He didn't even run off as I got out of bed and watched him lazily pad back out of the room. Ass cat.
So news. First-
The weather lately has been fantastic for early Spring. My tulips, day lillies, and many of my perennials that I planted, oh, two years ago? Are all popping up en masse. More importantly, all nine of the garlic bulbs we planted are starting to sprout! (My 1st count last week I only saw 6, so I chalked it up to zealous and hungry squirrel-terrorists. As it got warmer, boom. 3 more) Between that and the seeds Moda planted that are exploding we're going to have a veritable bounty. It'd be such a nice contrast with last years relatively weak harvest. I've even been contemplating expansion. GASP!
Second-
My contract here at the BGWC will be extended through the summer (if they like me) as opposed to running out in Spring. I guess the housing market is still buyer-centric and judging by how swamped we've been I should still be gainfully employed with a chance of mandatory overtime forseeable. (Boo...I mean YE$$$!!!) The downside is that I had to pull out of Paul Bunyan and it marks probably the first time in nearly 20 years of performing that I've ever done so. I need the dough, I know. It just sucks. A show would have been nice. That show would have been nice.
Third-
I'm currently in week #3 at the BNI's performance track class. I hemmed and hawed but the classes are pretty challenging and as an actor are helping make some discoveries. I don't want to get too poncey about it since it's a lot of what actors have heard before, sufficed to say it was a good choice and I'm getting a lot out of it. Class tends to always go over and we hash over what we've just worked on that night. So yeah. Playtime. Thanks, dad.
Fourth-
Since I've been in a learnin' state of mind, I'm going to take Choy Li Fut for 8 weeks. It's a class I'd been hankerin' to take (along with Wing Chun and Capoeria...and ball room dancing) for a while since I received the community circulars so I thought I'd give it a whirl. We'll see. Kiiiya.
Fifth-
Run training is...well it is. I've already made it past the 10K mark, topping off (as of late last March) at 7.5 miles. However, the nice weather has been taking me off the 'Mill and putting me on the proper roadways/trails. Except, and I won't lie... it's a bitch. I commented to Moda that I can definitely feel my legs getting stronger and my knees (knocking on wood) have felt okay. Holy Moly, my anterior tibalis and gastrocnemius are the devil. Just yesterday on an "easy" 4.5 miler I had to stop 4-5 times just to stretch it out. I'm hitting the gym to strength cross-train, but the out of doors is becoming a bit daunting. I might have to go back to the treadmill in spite of good weather. Frass. And here we did our first (and my longest) outdoor training run around Lake of the Isles/Calhoun last weekend.*
The races are 4/24 and 6/6 respectively. Think healing thoughts.
Sixth-
Vay. Cay. Shun. That's right, kids. Moda and I are West-coasting, heading out to OR to see L and D's wedding. Then it's a few days of scrabbling up and down the coast before heading home. Damn straight I'm happy. First proper vacation I'll have had in over 2 years. I need the ocean. And it gives my roommate his precious "house to himself" days.
Seventh-
Moda finally comes to the end of a long run of consecutive shows in less than two weeks. It'll be nice to have my cooking/gardening/frassing buddy...well to get my girlfriend back. It's gonna be Farmers Markets, dirty hands, bike rides, happy hours, and sunshine for buddies.
WaHoo.
(*Perspective- MD is running a 100K marathon for OXFAM. Holy crap)
Sunday, April 04, 2010
Well...not all of them.
I checked out Moda's show last Friday. ("Safe as Houses" at the Theatre Garage. Get off yer duff's and see it, fools!) And I was remarking later that the lead bears a striking resemblance to Redwright's hubby. Which, of course, gets me olde gears spinning since I ran into another actor who bears another uncanny resemblance to my roommate, El Bean. So I'm pontificating this yesterday (meaning- putting off raking) to him while he's doing the dog and pony show which is making his breakfast, and he seems genuinely interested in spite of the fact that (A) I have no story and (B) my idea is solely based on the fact that two pairs of actors look like one and other.
Anyway, our dialogue. For your enjoyment:
M- "So that's it. You and _____ are brothers and _____ and _____ are brothers. Cool?"
D- "Okay. Just don't cast any annoying actors."
M- "Which ones?"
Anyway, our dialogue. For your enjoyment:
M- "So that's it. You and _____ are brothers and _____ and _____ are brothers. Cool?"
D- "Okay. Just don't cast any annoying actors."
M- "Which ones?"
Friday, April 02, 2010
And it's the A-hole FTW!
They threw it out.
This epic opus I've been on this week to see if my creamer would go unsullied comes to a tragic and abrupt end this morning. As I made my bleary eyed way to the fridge, I mindlessly reached in the back to obtain my beloved coffee mate only to withdraw empty handed. "But, but...it was there yesterday?!? And with puh-LENTY to spare. So clever, you are, my friend. Writing snarky notes works the BEST! Ah. Ha. Haaaa".
Nope. My initial deduction is that some mammy-jam read the little novella I taped to the side of the bottle and was grossed out. If there is any justice in the world, it'll have been the yahoo who was bogarting my creamer.
That's some redonkulous bullshit to start a Friday.
This epic opus I've been on this week to see if my creamer would go unsullied comes to a tragic and abrupt end this morning. As I made my bleary eyed way to the fridge, I mindlessly reached in the back to obtain my beloved coffee mate only to withdraw empty handed. "But, but...it was there yesterday?!? And with puh-LENTY to spare. So clever, you are, my friend. Writing snarky notes works the BEST! Ah. Ha. Haaaa".
Nope. My initial deduction is that some mammy-jam read the little novella I taped to the side of the bottle and was grossed out. If there is any justice in the world, it'll have been the yahoo who was bogarting my creamer.
That's some redonkulous bullshit to start a Friday.
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
ICYC*
*In case you're curious-
My creamer remains untouched as of Wednesday. Last week at this time? It was nearly empty. I'm keeping my eyes peeled for people who look like they've lost sleep due to their GUILTY ASS CONSCIENCE'S!!!
Ahem.
My creamer remains untouched as of Wednesday. Last week at this time? It was nearly empty. I'm keeping my eyes peeled for people who look like they've lost sleep due to their GUILTY ASS CONSCIENCE'S!!!
Ahem.
Friday, March 26, 2010
Eff a bunch of food kleptomaniacs.
If you haven't guessed, I have very few things I say I can "hate" on. Canned mushrooms. Reality TV. Glenn Beck. Other drivers. All legit "hates". What can really color your day, are the food klepto's. It was bad enough a few weeks back when some D-bag took a bite out of my sammich and put it back. It's another thing entirely to get my yogurt and discover it's disappeared. (For some reason, people just really like to make off with their acidophilus fix)
The cake hath now been taketh, for over the last two weeks I've noticed that my fat free vanilla creamer has felt suspiciously lighter by the end of the week. (A small bottle usually gets me through M-F with some to spare. And that accounts for my a.m. and p.m. caffeine fix.) Yesterday was the proof in the pudding, as I was pouring it into my mug and was greeted with a trickling that barely changed the color of the coffee. (I'm kinda like James Belushi in "Red Heat" where there's a magical alchemical formula for that perfect coffee to creamer or coffee to cream/sugar ratio.) Needless to say, I was pissed.
So today, after scheming up a few Machiavellian revenge scenarios (Fill the empty bottle with cottage cheese and milk? Vinegar? BBQ sauce and water?) I decided that a little note taped to the bottle would suffice. It reads as follows:
To the person who has been stealing my creamer:
Just so you know, this stuff isn't cheap and what you are doing is still THEFT. Therefore I have licked the lid to this container, and I may or may not have a cold sore.
ps: I will be doing this on future bottles of creamer. HANDS OFF!
The cake hath now been taketh, for over the last two weeks I've noticed that my fat free vanilla creamer has felt suspiciously lighter by the end of the week. (A small bottle usually gets me through M-F with some to spare. And that accounts for my a.m. and p.m. caffeine fix.) Yesterday was the proof in the pudding, as I was pouring it into my mug and was greeted with a trickling that barely changed the color of the coffee. (I'm kinda like James Belushi in "Red Heat" where there's a magical alchemical formula for that perfect coffee to creamer or coffee to cream/sugar ratio.) Needless to say, I was pissed.
So today, after scheming up a few Machiavellian revenge scenarios (Fill the empty bottle with cottage cheese and milk? Vinegar? BBQ sauce and water?) I decided that a little note taped to the bottle would suffice. It reads as follows:
To the person who has been stealing my creamer:
Just so you know, this stuff isn't cheap and what you are doing is still THEFT. Therefore I have licked the lid to this container, and I may or may not have a cold sore.
ps: I will be doing this on future bottles of creamer. HANDS OFF!
Thursday, March 25, 2010
The way the gears turn
I really like having buddy cooking nights coming back. (I know, I know...this is probably sounding more like a hippo blog. Go with me.) Since Moda has a shortie rehearsal I figured I'd buck the tradition of "I make breakfast and grill/She makes dinners" and whip something up. Thing is, I'm such a frassy flibbertigibbity impatient bing-bong that I'll look at close to 14 recipes before eventually picking up taco's and arranging them on a plate like I made them myself. I exude frass.
After having tiring non-run day, I went to bed last night fully prepared to say "eff it" and chop up a bunch of veggies for marinated tofu veggie wraps. Leaving for work this morning, I was silently cursing the unwashed masses making my commute hell when I noticed a ton of trucks on the road. So where did I go with this seemingly random observence?
"Hm. Many trucks. Well of course, they're bringing in fresh sea food. Metro Mag had that article last month about the best time to buy seafood being Thursday, which is today. Ergo, the increase in diesel guzzlers can clearly be attributed to the fresh delivery of ocean fare to the Twin Cities stores and restaurants. Perhaps this is a sign I should try making seared scallops with pasta. Perhaps I should."
Yeah. Don't ask. I wound up making a joke about the movie "Any Which Way But Loose" this morning (Clint Eastwood and an Orangutang? Glorious comedy!) and all the babies looked at me like a grew a nipple on my forehead. I looked at the one person who knew what I was talking about and said-
"Well. There I go again dating myself. What? Oh. It was nice. I was a little embarrassed when I ordered a glass of wine and myself was actually trying not to drink for Lent. Myself was pretty charming. I don't know if we'll go out again, but we agreed to do coffee later in the week. Myself had a pretty sweet smile and was really good at directing the conversation back at myself. Who knows. Oh- And when I went to pay, myself insisted we go Dutch. That's pretty 80's, but that's cool. I'll pick up the coffee for myself and I later."
What is this madness?
After having tiring non-run day, I went to bed last night fully prepared to say "eff it" and chop up a bunch of veggies for marinated tofu veggie wraps. Leaving for work this morning, I was silently cursing the unwashed masses making my commute hell when I noticed a ton of trucks on the road. So where did I go with this seemingly random observence?
"Hm. Many trucks. Well of course, they're bringing in fresh sea food. Metro Mag had that article last month about the best time to buy seafood being Thursday, which is today. Ergo, the increase in diesel guzzlers can clearly be attributed to the fresh delivery of ocean fare to the Twin Cities stores and restaurants. Perhaps this is a sign I should try making seared scallops with pasta. Perhaps I should."
Yeah. Don't ask. I wound up making a joke about the movie "Any Which Way But Loose" this morning (Clint Eastwood and an Orangutang? Glorious comedy!) and all the babies looked at me like a grew a nipple on my forehead. I looked at the one person who knew what I was talking about and said-
"Well. There I go again dating myself. What? Oh. It was nice. I was a little embarrassed when I ordered a glass of wine and myself was actually trying not to drink for Lent. Myself was pretty charming. I don't know if we'll go out again, but we agreed to do coffee later in the week. Myself had a pretty sweet smile and was really good at directing the conversation back at myself. Who knows. Oh- And when I went to pay, myself insisted we go Dutch. That's pretty 80's, but that's cool. I'll pick up the coffee for myself and I later."
What is this madness?
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
Coming to my census...
5. That is the number of badgering correspondence requesting I fill my 2010 census form out. I did it, of course. (And considered adding George teh Kitteh as a co-resident. I resisted, of course...) It's the dumbest thing ever and it doesn't really give one the sense of civic pride that comes with, say, voting. But I did it. It got me thinking of where I was 10 years ago and why those bastards at the census bureau didn't pester me then...then I realized life was very different. I was, of course, a C.H.U.D. (Carnal Hedonist Uptown Dweller) then I realized that I wasn't living in Uptown at all at the time which made me switch it to C.H.A.D. (tm) which stood for Crazy Headcase Apartment Dweller. Far more accurate. (RSvP and I lived in SE Mipples by the "U") Incidentally, and no offense to the Chad's of the world, but I think calling someone a "Chad" would be a great insult. Akin to "D-Bag". You go to a bar with a bunch of white ball-capped D-Bags? "Man. This place is crawling with Chads. Let's bail and get taco's." See?
Anyway, my point is 10 years ago I wasn't census'd. I did, however, get my wisdom teeth pulled. Coincidence? I think not.
What else...
I saw "Crank" and "Crank 2" (Hey. When Moda is at rehearsal it becomes bad movie night) Anyway, these flicks are inSANE. Not even bad, just insane...to the point where I found myself liking them in spite of their high bullshit factor. They were more action comedy than anything.
They made you want to...I don't know. Chug 6 Red Bulls and go for a run. Insane.
Oh. I'm starting improv classes at the Be-NeW. It'll be a hoot. I gotta be really honest, I'm not too hip on "games" etc. Zip Zap Zop? Nope. But it'll be nice to have a different outlet and see what all the fuss is about. Buddies like Ry-Gonn have been asking me to do it for a while now. And I think that dad would've liked it too. We shall see.
Anyway, my point is 10 years ago I wasn't census'd. I did, however, get my wisdom teeth pulled. Coincidence? I think not.
What else...
I saw "Crank" and "Crank 2" (Hey. When Moda is at rehearsal it becomes bad movie night) Anyway, these flicks are inSANE. Not even bad, just insane...to the point where I found myself liking them in spite of their high bullshit factor. They were more action comedy than anything.
They made you want to...I don't know. Chug 6 Red Bulls and go for a run. Insane.
Oh. I'm starting improv classes at the Be-NeW. It'll be a hoot. I gotta be really honest, I'm not too hip on "games" etc. Zip Zap Zop? Nope. But it'll be nice to have a different outlet and see what all the fuss is about. Buddies like Ry-Gonn have been asking me to do it for a while now. And I think that dad would've liked it too. We shall see.
Thursday, March 18, 2010
Sprang has Sprung
Hey ho there! My daily lack of blogging is going to catch up with me. I BLAME THE WEATHER! So starting last weekend we evidenced a HUGH-mongous warm up. My yard is entirely sans snow and the only accumulation that's visible, really, are the mondo piles that've been pushed up in parking lots. Well, that and the snow mold- or "mould". That mystery had me reeling and thinking pod people were living in my yard.
So yeah, I've been trying to play outdoors more. Can you blame me? 60 degrees! In Mid-March! And it's High School tourney/March Madness! This is going to poke some serious holes in my airtight theories regarding MN Winters. (Note to...well everyone who thinks that this was a mild winter? Just remember- It never really ended from last year. I'm talking winter of 08/09 sorta trailed off into Fall from April to November and we got dumped on. Again. And December was witch-tatty cold)
Lo and behold the 1st day of Spring is approaching this Caturday. And while I've only but cautiously removed plastic from the kitchen windows (HOLY MOTHER I WAS ABLE TO AIR OUT MY HOUSE!!!) it'll be no time before I'm in full spring madness. That said, here are some tips and reminders for early Spring fever:
1- Just because the precipitation goes from snow to rain, doesn't mean people are going to drive any better. In fact, their confusion may make them drive worse. Trust public transportation.
2-If you have buddies who smoke, the melty snow will invariably show where they tossed their butts. Instead of the large tin can with cat litter in it that you left out for them to use as an ash tray.
3-Avocados. Totally in season. Get your guac on. Or Breakfast burrito. Or soup. Chow down on that noble vegetable while the chowing is good.
4-If you live in the city, your tap water is gonna reek for a few weeks. Runoff. Pure and simple.
5-One of my walking/jogging routes is by a dog park. Smell has no fury like a winters worth of melty poop.
6-When the weather spikes, people will foolheartily don their shorts. Be warned. There may be a glare.
7-I'd, um, well don't just put away your salt or shovels yet. I'm just sayin'...
So yeah, I've been trying to play outdoors more. Can you blame me? 60 degrees! In Mid-March! And it's High School tourney/March Madness! This is going to poke some serious holes in my airtight theories regarding MN Winters. (Note to...well everyone who thinks that this was a mild winter? Just remember- It never really ended from last year. I'm talking winter of 08/09 sorta trailed off into Fall from April to November and we got dumped on. Again. And December was witch-tatty cold)
Lo and behold the 1st day of Spring is approaching this Caturday. And while I've only but cautiously removed plastic from the kitchen windows (HOLY MOTHER I WAS ABLE TO AIR OUT MY HOUSE!!!) it'll be no time before I'm in full spring madness. That said, here are some tips and reminders for early Spring fever:
1- Just because the precipitation goes from snow to rain, doesn't mean people are going to drive any better. In fact, their confusion may make them drive worse. Trust public transportation.
2-If you have buddies who smoke, the melty snow will invariably show where they tossed their butts. Instead of the large tin can with cat litter in it that you left out for them to use as an ash tray.
3-Avocados. Totally in season. Get your guac on. Or Breakfast burrito. Or soup. Chow down on that noble vegetable while the chowing is good.
4-If you live in the city, your tap water is gonna reek for a few weeks. Runoff. Pure and simple.
5-One of my walking/jogging routes is by a dog park. Smell has no fury like a winters worth of melty poop.
6-When the weather spikes, people will foolheartily don their shorts. Be warned. There may be a glare.
7-I'd, um, well don't just put away your salt or shovels yet. I'm just sayin'...
Friday, March 12, 2010
They'RRRRRR GrrrrrEAT!
So I discovered via Melinite's Blog that I completely spaced this is the year of the TIGER according to my Chinese horoscope. How I could have flipping forgot this is beyond me. I suppose I was thinking of cheese. So it is my belief that this year, MY year, has to be flights and bounds better than my Ass-y 2009 and I resolve to try and look for the minutiae that make life grand and try to keep my optimism and general faith in human nature afloat. Unless it's Glen Beck or if I'm in my car during my commute. All bets are off then, sucka's.
It made me look back on where I was 12 years ago and trying to remember what made that a "good" year, so I dug into the archives (read: my planner/journal) to see what sort of place I was in at the time. Let's just say I was very...young. Okay:
-I was in what was to be my last year of college. It was my first full year as a single man after spending roughly the previous 7-8 years in one monogamous relationship after another. (Which meant I never spent too much time with my classmates, I hadn't really immersed myself in the program, and didn't know folks too well outside of acadamia) In other words, I wasn't running off from school to spend time with my giiiirlfriend.
-Subsequently, apppparently (the notes/journal gets fuzzy about this at times) I started dating within the program. I began working on my all-new old cheap moves, and went on many dates to the Riverside Perkins. World class charmer, I am.
-I saw a majority of my undergraduate buddies naked in "Hair". Again, very important as college was never really the bacchanalian orgy I had imagined from movies like "Animal House" or "Revenge of the Nerds".
-I got in my 1st show at TRP. Getting cast outside of school/way-off suburban community theatre made me feel like a big-kid. And put me on track for working my nuts off trying to start and get paid gigs.
-I purchased a big-kid bed. Queen sized mattress at an Uptown liquidator. I was so excited (after having slept on the couch for 3 months) that I heaved that thing up 3 flights all by my lonesome, throwing my back out in the process. I slept "sans" sheets for another 2 weeks.
- Apparently I started hanging with work co-workers a lot more as well. I was promoted to "Big-Balance" collections which meant a raise. I started hanging out at more Downtown bars and not dive/sports bars out in the 'burbs. I befriended Guiness, Gimlets, and red wine. One of them, dear old Ellen, was kind of like my personal fashionista...but worldly. My personal hipster teacher. Gave the dumb advice on things like how to pick wine. Making sure my belt and shoes were the same color. Cologne that worked with my body. (There's a reason I stopped coating my body with Preferred Stock) How to "not" talk about ex-girlfriends when taking a woman on a date. How to look like a million bucks by shopping at Opitz with only $20. Hair product s#it to use. She knew doormen at The Lounge and the old Pickled Parrot which would get us into VIP areas for free. We'd eat steamed mussels and sling back Manhatten's or Bloody Mary's at the Loring while listening to samba music. Seriously, she was one of the first female friends I had that I had chop down straight up platonic feelings for. And was cool. And it was helpful.
Especially when she would introduce me to her girlfriends. What? >: D
- I visited my friend in NYC for the 1st time. (NY, not my friend) I learned that getting recommendatios as to what Broadway show I should see can be a dicey game at best. (FYI- I thought "Hedwig" sucked my hedwig. I remember watching people walk out of the Jane Street theatre and envying them)
-I got my first Spider-Man costume. '98 was the year they actually started producing liscensed Marvel super-hero costumes, and even though the mask was a big doofy looking foam thing, it was the 1st Spider-Man costume I'd owned since I was 13.
-Dad retired. Before he did, and basing my rationale on things I learned in my Career Preparation for Actors class- I purchased a couple of suits. (We were advised that you should have suits to be able to wear to On-Camera auditions when needed. Okay?) The style and cut were actually the same as the suit my big brother owned so we ended up looking kind of like mannequins. I remember drinking Jameson straight up with my dad and teasing big brother about his Bailey's on the rocks. It felt amazing. Like big kids.
-This would be the first year I schlepped around my first Fringe Festival. There were, like, 4 venues. And about 30-40 theatre/dance groups. Funny thing, 12 years can do.
All told, it was a great year to be entering your "Quarter Life Crisis". I did the dumb, ego-centric things a single 24 year old can do. (Did I mention the young lady I went on a couple of dates with and would leave 5-7 minute rambly messages on my voicemail which I'd play for my friends to our amusement? Or supplying liquor to a couple of Luthern College minors at the behest of my ex-girlfriend only to have them get so loaded we needed to pull over 6 x's so they could heave all over the freeway? All decisions aren't the best decisions)
The year has a bit of a head start on me, but I'm feeling cautiously optimistic. You know? I landed a show up in Bemidji/Brainerd/Egypt. I'm driving a new vehicle. I've been steadily dating a really great gal. I have plans to start getting my hands dirty, really dirty again on the house. Shit that I know I've profrasstrinated on for too long. (Heck, I've even started the minor douche-y stuff around the lawn like cleaning debris.) I'm auditioning next week at the BNW for their performance class, something that I've always had in my periphery but never went after. (Oh, how dad...and Ry-Gonn for that matter used to pester me to do it.) I'm running a 10K then a 1/2 marathon. I've kiboshed (moooostly. Please don't begrudge a man for needing a beer after a really shite day) alcohol for Lent.
So maybe that's all the year of the Tiger is, right? The ability to actualize and create your own path by your own hand.
Shoot.
I might have to sit down with my copy of "The Path of Least Resistance" again...
It made me look back on where I was 12 years ago and trying to remember what made that a "good" year, so I dug into the archives (read: my planner/journal) to see what sort of place I was in at the time. Let's just say I was very...young. Okay:
-I was in what was to be my last year of college. It was my first full year as a single man after spending roughly the previous 7-8 years in one monogamous relationship after another. (Which meant I never spent too much time with my classmates, I hadn't really immersed myself in the program, and didn't know folks too well outside of acadamia) In other words, I wasn't running off from school to spend time with my giiiirlfriend.
-Subsequently, apppparently (the notes/journal gets fuzzy about this at times) I started dating within the program. I began working on my all-new old cheap moves, and went on many dates to the Riverside Perkins. World class charmer, I am.
-I saw a majority of my undergraduate buddies naked in "Hair". Again, very important as college was never really the bacchanalian orgy I had imagined from movies like "Animal House" or "Revenge of the Nerds".
-I got in my 1st show at TRP. Getting cast outside of school/way-off suburban community theatre made me feel like a big-kid. And put me on track for working my nuts off trying to start and get paid gigs.
-I purchased a big-kid bed. Queen sized mattress at an Uptown liquidator. I was so excited (after having slept on the couch for 3 months) that I heaved that thing up 3 flights all by my lonesome, throwing my back out in the process. I slept "sans" sheets for another 2 weeks.
- Apparently I started hanging with work co-workers a lot more as well. I was promoted to "Big-Balance" collections which meant a raise. I started hanging out at more Downtown bars and not dive/sports bars out in the 'burbs. I befriended Guiness, Gimlets, and red wine. One of them, dear old Ellen, was kind of like my personal fashionista...but worldly. My personal hipster teacher. Gave the dumb advice on things like how to pick wine. Making sure my belt and shoes were the same color. Cologne that worked with my body. (There's a reason I stopped coating my body with Preferred Stock) How to "not" talk about ex-girlfriends when taking a woman on a date. How to look like a million bucks by shopping at Opitz with only $20. Hair product s#it to use. She knew doormen at The Lounge and the old Pickled Parrot which would get us into VIP areas for free. We'd eat steamed mussels and sling back Manhatten's or Bloody Mary's at the Loring while listening to samba music. Seriously, she was one of the first female friends I had that I had chop down straight up platonic feelings for. And was cool. And it was helpful.
Especially when she would introduce me to her girlfriends. What? >: D
- I visited my friend in NYC for the 1st time. (NY, not my friend) I learned that getting recommendatios as to what Broadway show I should see can be a dicey game at best. (FYI- I thought "Hedwig" sucked my hedwig. I remember watching people walk out of the Jane Street theatre and envying them)
-I got my first Spider-Man costume. '98 was the year they actually started producing liscensed Marvel super-hero costumes, and even though the mask was a big doofy looking foam thing, it was the 1st Spider-Man costume I'd owned since I was 13.
-Dad retired. Before he did, and basing my rationale on things I learned in my Career Preparation for Actors class- I purchased a couple of suits. (We were advised that you should have suits to be able to wear to On-Camera auditions when needed. Okay?) The style and cut were actually the same as the suit my big brother owned so we ended up looking kind of like mannequins. I remember drinking Jameson straight up with my dad and teasing big brother about his Bailey's on the rocks. It felt amazing. Like big kids.
-This would be the first year I schlepped around my first Fringe Festival. There were, like, 4 venues. And about 30-40 theatre/dance groups. Funny thing, 12 years can do.
All told, it was a great year to be entering your "Quarter Life Crisis". I did the dumb, ego-centric things a single 24 year old can do. (Did I mention the young lady I went on a couple of dates with and would leave 5-7 minute rambly messages on my voicemail which I'd play for my friends to our amusement? Or supplying liquor to a couple of Luthern College minors at the behest of my ex-girlfriend only to have them get so loaded we needed to pull over 6 x's so they could heave all over the freeway? All decisions aren't the best decisions)
The year has a bit of a head start on me, but I'm feeling cautiously optimistic. You know? I landed a show up in Bemidji/Brainerd/Egypt. I'm driving a new vehicle. I've been steadily dating a really great gal. I have plans to start getting my hands dirty, really dirty again on the house. Shit that I know I've profrasstrinated on for too long. (Heck, I've even started the minor douche-y stuff around the lawn like cleaning debris.) I'm auditioning next week at the BNW for their performance class, something that I've always had in my periphery but never went after. (Oh, how dad...and Ry-Gonn for that matter used to pester me to do it.) I'm running a 10K then a 1/2 marathon. I've kiboshed (moooostly. Please don't begrudge a man for needing a beer after a really shite day) alcohol for Lent.
So maybe that's all the year of the Tiger is, right? The ability to actualize and create your own path by your own hand.
Shoot.
I might have to sit down with my copy of "The Path of Least Resistance" again...
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Suck it, Winter!!!
Wheee, Doggies. Who has two thumbs and hung up his deep winter Columbia Jacket and Overcoat in the basement? This guy. Weather dude sez the warming trend should continue and we've seen the last of negative digits/teens. In spite of the fact that we're 1/3rd of the way through March and we're about 2 HS Tourney's down-I won't hold my breath. (Too many variables in this state, Man.) Still, with my portly childs metabolism I feel confident I can ride out the season with my lighter jackets and gloves. That and the fact that the snow ban has lifted and the snow is receding to the point where I can see green grass again...and my solar walk lights.
And Moda got our seeds in the mail. She's gonna plant'em now so that they'll be ready to transfer to the big pots come the first real thaws. Pip.
So I wanted to take a quick second to say I'm not gonna bore the pants off of you regarding my race training any longer. Or food. (Two central preoccupations of mine, if you haven't already figured that out.) It's been an age since I've blogged a review/recipe I love so I'm gonna start doing that back over at http://hungryhippopotami.wordpress.com/ From there, you'll get reviews, training info (read: What we're eating for race prep) Garden status, New Recipes, and a melange of other tidbits. We welcome fellow foodies, race/marathon enthusiasts to participate with tips/finds/etc. Love it. (ICYC- Notice how one of the last posts is September? Yeah, there've been a few months. Shup. We're busy pants)
So I watched the Oscar ceremony at FeeJ's last Sunday and boy howdy was I pleased as punch. (You would have to have lived in a cave not to have picked Waltz and Mo'Nique for their supporting roles. Fierce, fierce acting) I've frassed about my theory (as does everybody and their sister) on how flawed the Academy judging process is. (Crowe winning for "Gladiator" when "The Insider" was clearly superior, same with Denzel winning for "Training Day"...Hello? "The Hurricane"? Makes ya weep)
Anyway, today's funny- Cracked clearly can posit their Oscar theories more eloquently than I can : http://www.cracked.com/article_18460_5-reasons-oscars-matter-even-less-than-you-thought.html
And Moda got our seeds in the mail. She's gonna plant'em now so that they'll be ready to transfer to the big pots come the first real thaws. Pip.
So I wanted to take a quick second to say I'm not gonna bore the pants off of you regarding my race training any longer. Or food. (Two central preoccupations of mine, if you haven't already figured that out.) It's been an age since I've blogged a review/recipe I love so I'm gonna start doing that back over at http://hungryhippopotami.wordpress.com/ From there, you'll get reviews, training info (read: What we're eating for race prep) Garden status, New Recipes, and a melange of other tidbits. We welcome fellow foodies, race/marathon enthusiasts to participate with tips/finds/etc. Love it. (ICYC- Notice how one of the last posts is September? Yeah, there've been a few months. Shup. We're busy pants)
So I watched the Oscar ceremony at FeeJ's last Sunday and boy howdy was I pleased as punch. (You would have to have lived in a cave not to have picked Waltz and Mo'Nique for their supporting roles. Fierce, fierce acting) I've frassed about my theory (as does everybody and their sister) on how flawed the Academy judging process is. (Crowe winning for "Gladiator" when "The Insider" was clearly superior, same with Denzel winning for "Training Day"...Hello? "The Hurricane"? Makes ya weep)
Anyway, today's funny- Cracked clearly can posit their Oscar theories more eloquently than I can : http://www.cracked.com/article_18460_5-reasons-oscars-matter-even-less-than-you-thought.html
Monday, March 08, 2010
Day off'd
Good morning, friends. After a jam-packed weekend of dancing, body-wrecking, murder mysterying, IHOP-ing, and Academy Awarding, buddy boy here is taking the day off. That said, Toplessrobot.com directed me to two of the coolest things ever. The first, is the newest "Iron Man 2" trailer which will, in fact, own you. The commercial alone won the "best commercial" award. Before you were even born. (I'll let y'all look it up. Sufficed to say, it is pretty cool) The second? Sometimes you just happen upon...something. That resonates with your soul. Maybe it's a poem. Or a song. A choice at the buffet. Baby hippos. Uh...why are you so weird? Anyway, I'm pretty damn amazed I didn't discover this little gem sooner. It's under 3 minutes of your life you won't have lived to the fullest until you watch it. Oh, and some NSFW language. And "not safe for life" acting. Wow. Holy balls. For your benefit- The greatest action movie ever:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JTmSJDyav-A
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JTmSJDyav-A
Thursday, March 04, 2010
Eating like a senior citizen
I might as well sign up for AARP right now. In the midst of run training, I had these peculiar cravings pop up here and there. Most training manuals will encourage you to carb up ("CAN DO!") but I've been jonesin' for protein. Shrimp, Pickled Herring, Tofu, Buffalo Spiced Chicken Jerkey nuggets. And the last few mornings, in lieu of my 8AM oatmeal...fat free cottage cheese. Sprinkled with Tabasco.
Sick. Out. Buddy.
It reminds me of my first "punch the clock" job I had out of High School. Working at a Senior Care Center as a Nutrition Aide. (Heretoforewith know as "Kitchen B#tch") It seems Nursing Homes run in the family. Mom is an RN at a NE Mpls facility. One of RSvP's 1st jobs was at the neighborhood Care Center. (Can I tell the story? Okay, so he was "let go", right? He was supposed to be on PA detail to announce dinner to the residents. Except smartie pants says "Could the inmates please report to the cafeteria". I could never tell if dad was pissed or pleased. He seemed a healthy mix of both)
Anyway, the job sucked. And I ran the gamut of injuries. I pulled a basket of hot coffee that hadn't steeped fully on top of my head like I was on a Nickolodeon kids show. I developed a latex allergy from the gloves we were required to wear. (I thought I had leprosy. I took a 3 month sabbatical when I went to work at the "G" and the itchy flaking went away. So, I'd put on a pair of vinyl gloves with latex overs. Smart, I am) Hot steam in the face. Forks in the palm when cleaning off the trays. Toes ran over by huge food carts. It sucked.
What didn't suck? The food. Which we weren't supposed to (by law) eat. But we did. And because it was food for the residents (Heretoforewith referred to as "Sassy Seniors") it was Luh-HOADED with calories. Seriously. Read the side of a Lorna Doone package. Nobody eats that shit except for the Sassy Seniors. One cookie is made with 2 sticks of butter, half a tub of Crisco, and Sugar. Served with an Ensure, you're guaranteed 3,500 calories in one cookie and can!
Our prime targets to sneak the meals were usually: Cheesecake (Lord. I think I inhaled an entire cake within 15 minutes) Fettucine Alfredo, Meatloaf, Chicken Piccata, and Lasagna. We'd scan the weekly menu. You learned when to skip dinner so that you could gorge.
The things we hated? Liver. (And the smell doesn't leave you until you've burned your clothes and bathed in ammonia) And the dreaded lunch prep. Which meant plopping a scoop of jello (Hi-Cal-Jel. One cup had 1,000 calories) pudding (Why I will never eat the filthy stuff, ever again) yogurt (From a gallon jug) annnnnd my favorite: Cottage Cheese.
Which is why it baffles the hell out of me why I'd crave it. After dinner last weekend, Mom and I hit TJ's for snacks. And what'd I get? Fat Free Cottage Cheese. Which is now gone as of Wednesday.
What the hell? Am I pregnant?
Anyway, to celebrate my crappy haircut I received about 3 weeks ago and shows no signs of growing back (For real. I'm scared. I need a pompadour by June) and the cute hair that Moda sports in her latest show. (Go see it. Laugh. And tell your friends. http://www.mixedblood.com/mainstage/somebodynobody/) Well, let's all talk about my new haircut- (Warning- Language NSFW. Definite signs of Douchebaggery.)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4JMOh-cul6M
Sick. Out. Buddy.
It reminds me of my first "punch the clock" job I had out of High School. Working at a Senior Care Center as a Nutrition Aide. (Heretoforewith know as "Kitchen B#tch") It seems Nursing Homes run in the family. Mom is an RN at a NE Mpls facility. One of RSvP's 1st jobs was at the neighborhood Care Center. (Can I tell the story? Okay, so he was "let go", right? He was supposed to be on PA detail to announce dinner to the residents. Except smartie pants says "Could the inmates please report to the cafeteria". I could never tell if dad was pissed or pleased. He seemed a healthy mix of both)
Anyway, the job sucked. And I ran the gamut of injuries. I pulled a basket of hot coffee that hadn't steeped fully on top of my head like I was on a Nickolodeon kids show. I developed a latex allergy from the gloves we were required to wear. (I thought I had leprosy. I took a 3 month sabbatical when I went to work at the "G" and the itchy flaking went away. So, I'd put on a pair of vinyl gloves with latex overs. Smart, I am) Hot steam in the face. Forks in the palm when cleaning off the trays. Toes ran over by huge food carts. It sucked.
What didn't suck? The food. Which we weren't supposed to (by law) eat. But we did. And because it was food for the residents (Heretoforewith referred to as "Sassy Seniors") it was Luh-HOADED with calories. Seriously. Read the side of a Lorna Doone package. Nobody eats that shit except for the Sassy Seniors. One cookie is made with 2 sticks of butter, half a tub of Crisco, and Sugar. Served with an Ensure, you're guaranteed 3,500 calories in one cookie and can!
Our prime targets to sneak the meals were usually: Cheesecake (Lord. I think I inhaled an entire cake within 15 minutes) Fettucine Alfredo, Meatloaf, Chicken Piccata, and Lasagna. We'd scan the weekly menu. You learned when to skip dinner so that you could gorge.
The things we hated? Liver. (And the smell doesn't leave you until you've burned your clothes and bathed in ammonia) And the dreaded lunch prep. Which meant plopping a scoop of jello (Hi-Cal-Jel. One cup had 1,000 calories) pudding (Why I will never eat the filthy stuff, ever again) yogurt (From a gallon jug) annnnnd my favorite: Cottage Cheese.
Which is why it baffles the hell out of me why I'd crave it. After dinner last weekend, Mom and I hit TJ's for snacks. And what'd I get? Fat Free Cottage Cheese. Which is now gone as of Wednesday.
What the hell? Am I pregnant?
Anyway, to celebrate my crappy haircut I received about 3 weeks ago and shows no signs of growing back (For real. I'm scared. I need a pompadour by June) and the cute hair that Moda sports in her latest show. (Go see it. Laugh. And tell your friends. http://www.mixedblood.com/mainstage/somebodynobody/) Well, let's all talk about my new haircut- (Warning- Language NSFW. Definite signs of Douchebaggery.)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4JMOh-cul6M
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