I woke up in a frassy mood yestiddy and it has kept motoring through my body into tah-day. There have been moments of anti-frass smattered throughout the last 25 or so hours, but still. I've been trying to breathe deeply just to keep my head clear. And, I believe that I've readily identified the sources of malcontent which have stirred up my brain. In other words, it could be:
Waking up yesterday and realizing that I hate, like, really hate not being able to exercise. This goes double for not being able to hit 'Fu. It just, makes my blood feel thick and I reeeeally need my endorphin fix if I want to concentrate. And right now, it just doesn't feel that way. And those justifications regarding the weather being crappy? Feh. Right now it feels like an excuse, and that just makes me remorseful. And it doesn't help that my trousers are getting a little tight, and not in the good way. AND it doesn't help that I just had some breakfast and I'm already staring at the clock like an impatient, hungry, hippo. >: (
How in spite of having quiet nights last week (Albeit, sickly) , it still feels like my life isn't really in my control. What has happened to all of my time?
I hate having a 90 minute call time. There, I said it.
I was back-sassed by a friend who I'd been playing phone tag with regarding my evening plans. (I suggested meeting up after my mat somewhere's for happy hour since I had peeps coming over. He suggested hanging out and playing vids.) "But c'moooooon! Duuuude, I want you to play this gaaaaame!" Ugh. Now, for cereal...does this tell folks the reason why I'm not so quick to jump on the bandwagon and drop a bundle on a Wii or whatever the f#ck it's called?
In terms of education of self, I still haven't had time to take the self-exams for my 6 since failing. I don't have to take the test for another 3 months (my "window") and I understand that it contributes to my sense of feeling unmotivated- well that, and coupled with the fact that almost all of my evenings since failing have been relegated to rehearsal/memorization. Which, invariably, feels like an excuse. More self-remorse. Boo. : ( Dorajar suggested I bring my study materials to the theatre (to fill a part of said, 90 minute call time. Seriously, why do we need 90 minutes again? Please tell me) But for the life of me I know I'll be distracted and I need a solid set time at home or a coffee house where there isn't someone walking through every 10 minutes saying "House opening" or "20 minutes!". Or someone asking me if I'd like to do fight call.
Speaking of the show, one of the actors who has been tasked with opening the vom curtains to aid entrances/exits/coffin & bed moving missed his cue for one of our final exits- forcing me (who was pulling this heavy ass rolly bed) to quickly stop before we went right through the curtain in spite of the fact that the actress helping me was still pushing-right. Over. My. Foot. It kills.
Das Wetter. I know it went from unseasonably warm to waaaaaay frickin' cold (hence, nosebleeds) tooooooo snow. The great type of powdery fluff that isn't too hard to shovel really, but once it hits and melts a little? Then the low temps freeze the s#it into a slick, treacherous, hit your windshield and immediately freeze up so that you can't see out but for a little slit that is magically situated right below your normal sightline. And even when the defroster has defrosted enough to clear it, you still have the kick back from the semi in front of you leaving a grimy mess. You know, I'm particularly pissed because it took me an hour to get to work today and 94 f#cking Eastbound still had runners from peoples tires. ( i.e. not f#cking plowed.) So I'm traipsing along the freeway at 35 miles an hour, stiff backed, clenched stomach. You know that back ache you tend to get when the weather sucks? That's what I'm-a sporting today. And no, I can't relax. Not when the f#cker behind me is barrelling forward and I KNOW that they won't be able to stop in time if I braked.
The toaster here at the office sucks balls. It takes (seriously) 5 minutes to toast my bread. 5, minutes. Sometimes use the loo, or fill up my water glass. Come back...yup. Still toastin'. And right next to the toaster there are 3-4 of those soft-sided "lunch totes" of varying shapes and sizes. I'm assuming they were removed when facilities does their "Friday fridge cleaning" - But they've lived there for over 3 weeks! Yeah, that irritates me too.
We have, by far and large, the slooooowest elevator in the world. 3 elevators in my bldg. All of which seem to be stuck on "2". When it arrives (of course, at the moment you start towards the stairs) Even the doors, open, slowly. The capper was when I ran in from the cold toward the elevator banks where there was one other dude waiting. We get on, he pushes 5 and I push 3*...when this guy audibly gives a sigh that read like "Oh great, now he's the hitch in MY giddyup!" It took all my willpower not to turn and say something. Douche.
I'm at work. On MLK jr. day. And today, is in fact, slow. I should be at home. Thanks, corporate, for issuing a "new" Holiday schedule. We won't have a paid holiday until Memorial day. January, through the end of May. Swell.
Mom called and left an acting note on my cell phone.
I think that I'm going to be sick of grapes and oysters after the run is over.
I re-read the talkinbroadway review and it got under my skin. Hal is shallow...stupid.
Wow. Okay. Mr. Sensitive today. Frass out.
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