Thursday, February 26, 2009

Living in the slow lane

Hi. I was fired.

After over 7 years at the same place, I was let go Monday morning. When you work in the fidouchiary community and the econ is the way it is, you figure you are working on limited time. The funny thing is, I kinda saw it coming? About 2 months ago we re-structured and I was assigned manager #3, the third within 12 months. Departments were letting folks go, things were getting cut from the top down, bonuses were redacted company wide, and there seemed to be an ill wind in the air. I had a recent desk move which I figure may have prompted a smidgen security (they can be expensive inter-departmentally) but it caused me to start bringing personal stuff home bit by bit. I started frassin' with buddies as to how to get started on a job hunt, thinking it would be tough but not impossible. I re-created a resume' and got some contact info. And was gearing up of making a go of it.

Turns out, a little too late.

So mama-san thought it'd be best to start blogging about it to give a day by day account of what it's been like, create a cathartic outlet, create fodder for my one-person show, and hopefully kill some time before my (hopefully) speedy rehire. So as we say in the showbiz parlance, let's take it from the top. Per safety/security things may be discussed in generalities so please take my apologies in advance. Clarifications will be happily regurgitated in person. More on that, later:

Day one-

Boss is in the office on a non-boss-in the office day. I take this as a bad sign already. I take to working and keeping my head down, as I had been wont to do lately. I get a meeting invite via email with myself and two others and my spider sense starts tingling. I send a quick note to Moda with the header "I'm kinda scared right now" with the body "I think I'm gonna get fired today". Walking down to the first floor meeting room, by the entrance, I am flooded with a sense of calm. I know what's coming. I've kind of known for a while. If it's not what I think, all right. And if it is...well, I know.

It happens, and they go to collect a list of personal things I can think of off the top of my head. No easy feat since you accumulate a lot more than your jacket and man-bag in 7 years. I text Mo and head home. I notice traffic is light at that time of day. Weird.


At home, Moda asks to come over which I didn't think was a good idea but said okay(with a promise of booze) and I mobilize immediately. I start with anonymous and vague emails to my two closest work associates with personal forwarding info/#'s etc. Mo shows up and over a cocktail I get my first real maudlyn meltdown- I wasn't even able to say goodbye to my friends. They show you the door and that's that.

I finish my drink and emailing bro, posting resume's to 5+ headhunter sites, imploring actor types for any employment opps, and promptly take a nap. I get up to dinner being made and checked my email. Checking my email/voicemail every 10 minutes or so is going to be a habit these next few days. As I smell sauteeing veggies downstairs, I am reminded of the gratitude I have for my parental visit the other day where I walked out with 5 bags of groceries.

Moda rehearses. I talk to my family. Brother seems to understand the situation all too well. The 'rents place the fear of God in me which freaks me out and makes my tummy frassy. I watch a s#itty episode of "Heroes" and call it a night. One last email check I get from the aforementioned co-worker. I read it, and start to cry again. I attended his wedding. He helped me move. He's seen countless shows I've done. I feel optimistic. Free. Thankful that I have a lot of PTO owed me, recently filed my taxes, and have most bills paid.


And, I'm a little drunk. Good night.

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