Thursday, June 02, 2005

Why the nickname? (More help)

This cracks me up.

The other day my co-work Tim informed me of what is quite possibly the funniest nick-name I've heard in a while. Get this: He calls all of the guys his "ex's" date after him "Johnny Salami's". ("Or I'll call'em 'Chachi's'. You know? Your friends get it when you say to'em : Dude, she dating a total Chachi.") I laughed my ace off. It reminded me of nicknames I had for my ex's and how I've dropped them after a while. ( It just seemed kinda dumb to be lambasting them after the fact. You know, like that great comeback insult that pops into your head in the middle of the night?)

Miz Pibb was all I had. Short form of PB (Or even shorter PBFH) which stood for "Psycho Bitch From Hell". J and I were talking about that the other night, and she laughed her ace off .

This got me thinking- We should start a whole new lexicon for the TC theatre community. Ala' Ocean's 11/12 or "Welcome to Collinwood". Nicknames or code words for things. (I'm all about calling peeps by their last names- Or what J calls a "Jocko Highschool Throwback habit") That'd be cool. So figure me up some code words y'all. We can't have Johnny Salami be the be-all end all.

Here's a few:

Bitchy McBitcherson-(N.) A whiner/complainer. I'm thinking that adding an Irish surname increases the funny factor by about 18-23% (I labeled a performer I saw recently who, I kid you little, mugged non-stop. She became Muggy McMuggerson. Terrible press photo btw)

Dorkus Malorkus- (N.) A dumb ass

Porkchop (s)- (N.) Indicates a group of people. Appropriated from the movie "The Usual Suspects" ("C'MERE my little porkCHOP!!!")

CK (Chatty Kathy)- (N.) Some motherfuckers who just don't know when the fuck to shut up and listen. See: Person writing this blog

Sammiches- (Adj/N) Indicates food, or the propensity to have eaten far too much. Unit measurement of weight ("After that buffet, I feel like I weigh at least 200 sammich)

Lastworditus- (N.-Affliction: See medical journal) Peeps who can't, and I mean CAN'T let a conversation/thread/discussion/phone tag end without having said the final piece. Really dumb ailment, but irritating nevertheless. Like a rash.

Yer Mom- (Adj/Resp) Response to every and any question. I mean everything.

4 comments:

P said...

I'm thinking "Rusty" it will be. Weef is now dubbed "Rusty".

Matches yer hair now too.

Frethem said...

I just had a thought... what if Portana moved to MLPS? She could be: Mortana! :-)

Anonymous said...

Tina Fay on SNL:

"Scientists have confirmed that the giant mass outside our solar system is in fact, a planet, with a density and size over five times that of Jupiter, and not, as I had previously reported, your mom."

Anonymous said...

I'm sure if any of the orignal porkchops read this they will be happy to have been included.