Grosser than gross*

* This isn't too bad, I promise.

1- The dude in the Mens Room today who, while in the stall, was jabbering away on his cell phone. "So, you want me to pick up eggs, milk, cereal and what else? I couldn't hear that last fart...I mean part."

2- (Cat owners may sympathize) Discovering your cat threw up on the carpet...by stepping in it...at 4am. Ish.

3-Butt Sweat. I have a fat kids metabolism, and with this warm weather we've been having I'm "a-trickling" by the time I get upstairs to my desk. Not-Comfortable.

4-Finding out that my coaching room here at the office has an access panel in it. Accessing what? The "Grease Exhaust" from the cafeteria. Yeah. I call it the "Triple bacon double call coach room"

5- What I used to consume as a kid (I promised you this) which consisted of:

• Arby's 5 for $5 (I'd switch up and get some with cheese too.) I can't believe it's "$5.95" now. Oh, and sometimes for fun I'd get 2 "Big Montana's"
  
• 3 Cheeseburgers from whatever fast food joint we'd visit. With Fries. And a Mt.Dew/Mello Yello to warsh it all down.
  
• Any buffet: 3 trips, minimum. Full plates everytime. Dessert? 2 trips, minimum.
  
• Doughnuts: My fave memories as a kid was hitting up D & D on Brooklyn Blvd or Jacks by NHCC for a donut and milk with my dad. (After a hockey game.) As I got older and I could go by myself...I would buy a dozen donuts. Share 3 with my family. And eat the rest myself. Same goes for donut holes. The whole box. Don't get me started on my former addiction to SA's apple fritters.
  
• Mt.Dew, Mello Yello, and Jolt. All the time.
  
• Hostess products- 'Specially Apple Pies. Then Choco-Bliss. Then Ding Dongs. (They were in my favorite comic strip as a kid: Bloom County.) I was also able to demolish a box of swiss cake rolls. I had a method of unraveling the roll and eating it.
  
• Whole Tostino's pizza's. I'd roll it up and eat it burrito style.
  
• Atomic Fireballs. Lots.
  
• Candy Bars. Loved me some peanut butter twix. When I had to sell candy bars for hockey, I scrounged around the house looking for change to buy me some. I ate 'em all.
  
• Lil' Brooklyn's was a restaurant in BC which touted the "Mexican Platter". It bragged that there was "So much food we serve it with a take home box!" My big brother and I demolished ours, causing the bussing waiter to quietly say: "Jesus..."
  
• Frank N' Stuf hotdogs. Usually 3 at a setting.
  
• Oreo's/Chips Ahoy. Usually a row and a half with milk. (I needed to save the other row for later!)
  
• My mom got a huge dark choc. candy bar in the shape of a fish as a gag gift at her work. She took a couple of bites and left it out. I ate the rest of it. Dipping it in Peanut Butter.
  
• My own ice cream creation- Chocolate sauce (Or magic shell) Peanut butter, and a full soup bowl of Ice Cream. My mom took to buying a kind that she knew I despised so that it would last longer. (Praline Pecan, in case you were wondering. Yuck.)
  
• Always two pieces of cake, or pie. Always ala' mode.
  

And the people at my work wonder why I don't eat the Krispy Kreme's they bring in on Friday's? Yeah.