Nope. I get asked that sometimes and I’ll be honest: I’m not a yuge fan of the ‘blades. Why???
1- I played hockey for 10 years. Right up until the point that blades first started to become popular for mainstream use. My 1st time out on them, a pebble in our cul-de-sac wedged in the bearings and I took a spill. At least I didn’t have to deal with debris and sh#t on the rink when we’d play. Ain’t no damn pavement ZAM-boni in the ‘burbs. What I’m sayin’. So to translate- "P on blades= uncoordinated dinglefritz"
2-I have a few friends who use their ownership of ‘blades as a catalyst to "Get In Shape". (And seriously, no offense to you Kaiser cause, you know, you like -use 'em) But I swear I've heard: "Dude, I’m gonna lose so much weight when summer rolls around. Gonna break out my blades ‘n stuff. Nope. Sorry. I don’t buy that for two seconds. Using the 3 paltry months in MN where we actually have agreeable enough weather to blade? Nope. This same individual I’m referring to has actually succeeded in gaining more weight. He likes him some sammiches. I just teased him about it at his garage sale where said blades were in the "$1 box".
4-I like hockey movies a lot. "Mystery, Alaska", "Slapshot", "The Miracle" all own, and kick all sorts of ace. (The Duck movies suck chode. I only like’em for the local color. You know in part 2, the scene where the little porkchops are rollerblading and they go from the Stone Arch Bridge to MOA in 5 seconds. I smell bullroar!)
5-I don’t mind roller-skating, (that glorious archaic-assed art form). Again, clean floors with precious little debris to cause a spill. And wasn't Heather Graham certainly nude in "Boogie Nights"? Do you want to be my mom? Damn, I need to go roller skating again- We should have a skate night at the SLP roller garden. You guys know the oneeee. W/the big ass green dinosaur on top?
6-I sold my hockey equipment, including my $300 skates, in 1996 for beer money. No lie. I've wanted a new pair of hockey skates in the worst way for the past 5 or 6 years.
7-True story: I quit playing hockey my sophomore year of HS to do theatre*. No lie. My parents spent $450 on hockey camp the previous summer. I think it kinda pissed ‘em off, and I’m positive they’ve never forgiven me. Ummmm, which is also why they didn’t get me blades the summer of ’00 for a "Half-Birthday Present".
8-I like running/lifting/jogging/karate-ing more than blading. Is really what I'm saying. And that I'm an uncoordinated dinglefritz.
(* The real truth is, I got mono right before tryouts. Doc said I couldn't be in any impact sports, lest my spleen go kerflooey. I was mega-depressed. So ma sez "You did that little play thing last year, why don't you audition for the high school shows?" I honestly didn't want to, having auditioned for the lousy 3-act the previous fall and didn't getting cast. So THEN ma sez: "Y'know, I think ______'s daughter- the homecoming princess, is doing it. 'Member her sweetie? We had lunch the other day with her parents and you wouldn't stop staring?".
And I didn't play hockey again. Started drinking more though. The end.)
5 comments:
I use mine... so THERE! Was gonna do a rollerblading marathon the year I left the hubby, got a little side tracked. Up in Dulut... I'd still like to do that one day. I too had the pebble in the wheel sitch, yuck! Scared me of ever going again, until I went again. In the winter, you can go around the Metrodome, not too shabby. It is kinda hard to find places that are clean enough to go, but, I get a kick out of it.
Skates - as in, ice skates - Is it wrong that I own a pair that cost me about $700 and they aren't even broken in and I want a new pair? Wait, of course it is... however, I can get PINK ones! PINK ones! I could... I could have pretty pink skates and even pink blades now... sheesh, I need to start coaching again, tax write offs... woo hoo!
Never had hockey skates on in my life... never ever... would be interesting. Maybe.
Ah... the obsession with pink...
I've been rollerblading since I was a wee little one. My Dad had one of the first pairs (seriously... they were first designed to swap out an ice blade for the wheels). They weighed about three tons.
As yout's we used to go all around St. Thomas and fuck with the security guards, smoke a lot of doobies, and try to jump over things that we had no business jumping over. Insert story of me out blading with Jewboy and Liznoid, and deciding I'm going to jump a boulevard and land right ahead of Ben. Insert my right blade brake catching on the end of the sidewalk as I landed, flying to the ground, and Jewey having to jump over me to avoid plowing into me. After about 6 or 7 rolls, laughing my ass off the whole time, I finally stopped. Not too much damage, but I have a nice scar on my right arm near my elbow? After that I took off the brake from my rollerblades. (Smart Huh)
I’ve gone through about 5 pairs, and I still love ‘em. The big thing with blades is you have to buy decent ones, and take the time to break them in. They say it takes 15-20 miles minimum to get your bearings rolling properly. Once they do? You’re flying dude. That’s why I don’t jog… it doesn’t get in my speed fix.
I’m really looking forward to getting new wheels and bearing this year… and I better do it soon… my wheels are almost down to the nub.
Hey, maybe I should’ve posted this on my own blog?
I'm gonna buy ice skates again one of these years. (I gotta have some extra cash) It goes in the "superfluous fun purchases" which includes softball bats, helmets, and gloves so we can have a little softball bbq party.
Who'm I kidding. As soon as I set foot on the ice all of my muscle memory would disappear and I'd wind up twisting my ankle.
Oh, sheesh... muscle memory! I haven't actually skated-skated in forever! I already felt it last time I tried, sad sad day that was... I might be on the ice once a week now, but, actually doin' stuff is quite different than being the biatch at the boards w/ the cigarette and the whip yelling at the tykes to, "Do it better! Do it faster! Jump Higher! Try again - and this time don't suck so bad!" (OK, so, that's not how I teach, but, well, I do tell them to look like little froggies and puppy dogs... gawd I love teaching the little three year olds who can't stand)
I'm gonna shut up now... sorry... lessons start again soon... been away from the ice too long... WAY TOO LONG! SOMEONE HELP ME!
You fell while jogging? Wowzer. Drunk jogging I've done, but never...
I'm thinking we should do a roller skate night. Seriously.
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