The Birthday List

Cold. It is fucking cold out. Fact of life here I s'pose, but damn. You come home from your commute, need to use the loo. You go, and say to yourself "My hands are fucking cold. You are currently manhandling yourself with an Inuits hands." And scene.

This will mark the 1st year that I haven't created a birthday/X-mas list for my 'rents. Yes, even into my late 20's I've made a list (More or less for reference/guidance. Trust me, I would rather they didn't embellish. The resulting gifts can be, um, silencing.) I've always been kinda tickled by the "oomph" factor that having a Christmas list that also speaks toward my birthday. (Take THAT Santa and Jesus!) but I just didn't wanna fuss this year. Home Depot is now our bitch. Gift Cards in any denomination help.

Gentle readers I would like to indulge you, if you have the time, to what I would like for X-mas. Both naughty, and nice. (Or, at the very least chalk fulla schmaltz)
The Naughty (Or "If I hadda Million Dollars...):

1. A big honkin' digital TV. Most requested gift this year, I've read. Anything 50 + inches would suffice. (Corresponding "surround sound" a must)
2. A nicer computer.
3. That shitty interest-only part of my home loan. If that were gone, well...the mortgage would be smalla'.
4. The lottery. It's at 30 mil- I'm turning 30. So I got a ticket, Big deal. Besides all of the crap I'm asking for here, I'm buying and renovating the Hollywood Theatre on Johnson.
5. Travel- Europe (Spain, Italy, Greece, the Czech Republic) and a good place for our Honeymoon. I'm thinking a nice all-inclusive resort in Hawaii. Especially around this time of year.
6. Getting cast in every show I audition for. (Especially where I work w/my love. It'd be nice to be on the same schedule)
7. Our wedding paid for. To be held at the Depot in Downtown Mpls. With hotel rooms for all of our out of town guests. (I thought of that one whilst at #2 job, looking at all of the reserved tuxes I'm buying for my groomies. )
8. Naughty nights, every night, with my schmoopie...I'm up for the challenge. I'm seriously not fucking around here, I-Will-DO IT!!!
9. The Rhee-Max headgear. Best karate headgear around. At $85, still a little outta my range.
10. FX special edition lightsabers, and a movie quality Spiderman costume
11. A club-quality treadmill. (And home gym. For cold fucking nights, like tonight) Not a DP or a Weslo, I'm talkin LifeFitness here.
12. GC's for Gap, Banana Republic, and Hugo Boss. I need that suit I saw in Vegas.

The Nice...This is what I want, what I really-really want.

1. Help moving in. It'll be cold. But there isn't much heavy stuff.
2. To have only one job. Just one. I'm not fussy. I'm just get a little tired of not seeing my friends, not making time for new friends, or not seeing as much theatre-or as many movies. Not being able to see my folks as much. Heck, not being able to be at the house to fix it up, so my baby doesn't have to put as much time in. Just one job.
3. To have been able to spend more time w/G-ma Rose. I was only able to make day trips to see her. Again. 2-3 jobs. (ZC, thanks for letting me be a little late to the 1st "Picasso" remount rehearsal for this very reason. I got some great pics that day, which I'm gonna give mom for X-mas)
4. To have the conflict overseas be done. Sting said "there's no such thing as a winnable war" and day by day I'm starting to believe it.
5. To be a little calmer on the roads, and not have the frustrating opinion that all other drivers are fly-footed, brain-dead ball-sniffers. (That won't happen)
6. To not be so hard on myself. ( It's just a fear that as soon as I like what I see, stupid little behaviors will creep out..."I'm better than you", "my hair is fuller", or "my chest is nicer". I hate vanity and can accept my self-deprecation.)
7. To be funny. And not in a snide and snarky way. (Fuck, that won't happen either. You can bet your ass that as soon as some dude bends over and their pants rip? I'm the first one to say "HAH!!! CRACK KILLS!!!"
8. To let my friends and family know how much they mean to me. Every offer our families have ever given to help with the house, every time I've been cast in a show because of a referral. Whenever I come home late and J has made dinner, or left me a simple note that says "Love U!!!" This endears to me so much, that I sincerely hope that all of them realize that I love and care about them. (Even though some of my fam can drive me nuts. And some of my friends can be ego-maniacal, selfish, pothead, alkie, over-sensitive butt-nuts...doesn't mean that I wouldn't get their back, and tear liver and lung from anyone who tried fucking with you. )
9. Get my black belt. I've been in Martial Arts for 10 years. I should have my 3rd degree by now (Hey, when the show must go on and all, damn theatre...) My instructor told me this summer, that he'd be honored to give the 2nd P their black belt. There's a lot behind a statement like that. Maybe you need to be involved in the MA to understand? Honor.
10. To get better as an actor. At least to be recognized that "he does a good job" would be fine. I heard the same comment I've heard since college "Maybe you should be a stand-up?" Sighs...Maybe. I won't say no to everything.
11. To stop eating out so much. That won't happen either. So long as Fresh Wok stands on 46th and Nicollet, and Subway keeps serving that delicious low-fat sweet onion Chix Teryaki sub. (No cheese.) It's muy bueno.

Mostly, to have all peeps reading this blog- or who kept reading this far....To know that it is an honor to me to have known you, or have gotten to know you, or have worked with you. Every experience I've had has left a mark, that won't (or really can't) be forgotten. I've got a good memory.

And to have sex w/my future wife every single night. Nightly. And stuff. Ah, I'm teasing.
Twice nightly.

3.5 days til 30.



ps: My 3 peeps who responded to my last blog I thank you. And you were all drunk. (Even out of state readers must have imbibed heavily.) I've seen the pictures. And I know. Faaaat guy in a little tux. (HEY! Herve Villachez wasn't using it!)