Catchy name for a band, huh?
So, a couple of months ago I was waiting for my flight at the airport. Looking for some in-flight reading material, I ended up picking this random Fitness rag. As I flipped through the pages, it dawned on me that they've been printing the same type of shitty articles for-EVER. How to work out, what to eat, what to wear, blah blah blah. I seriously used to buy in to all that crap. I was a guinea pig, following all of those articles. And here's my 2 cents (Which won't make up for the $'s I've spent on all that fitness crap) If you've ever bought one, or thought about buying one -Don't buy a fitness mag, ever again. If any of you ever have a question about health and fitness, ask me (Or your doctor)
I used to subscribe to rags like the one previously mentioned. In '89 right after my old man got outta the hospital "post-angioplasty", our family took a subsequent healthy turn. No more fast food,sugary pop, or ground beef with everything. ('Course, my dad still loves him some peebs before dinner. And yeah, Subway wasn't around as much) The following year, I shed most of my pubescent chubs and gained an extra inch in height. Perverts. My philosophy was this: If I'm not gonna be a good looking "hottie", I might as well be in good shape. The exercise that would make me such- the bicep curl.
Even though Musclemag, Muscle and Fitness, and their ilk were my monthly reads, I never had the desire to be bulit like Arnold. More like, Van Damme (Hey, he was topical at the time.) or Brad Pitt. I believed that I could fight my narrow-shouldered wide-hipped genetics by educating myself with the training tips offered by these rags. I tried new exercises, new and unique supplements: MCT oil, NO2, HGB, Branched Chain Amino's, L-Carnitine straight, Protein Drinks (Ugg, undigested pro would make me nearly barf), Raw Whey, Lecithin, Mega-Mass (Pure sugar. I blimped out to 195 after eating that happy crappy.) soy. NAME IT!!! (I learned a few years ago from Covert Bailey-author of "Fit or Fat" that normal people buying supplements is like putting jet fuel in a Pinto) In the interest of obtaining the coveted "gator belly", I began cardio work- Starting, literally, jogging in place while watching a movie. I've used every type of equipment, taken all sorts of aerobic-y classes, worked with personal trainers. (I even begain studying A & P in college so that I could get my degree in Kinesiology) This is really been a huge passion of mine for years. Almost as long as I've been on stage. Weird how the two started 'round the same time. I've pissed off friends, gf's, family (bitching about the chubs) And once, when I lost 30 lbs in a month, everyone thought I had Cancer.)
Look, if your goal is to get in shape or lose weight. (I'm not just talking from a health and well-being stand point. I'm talking specifically toward getting your body ready for something.) Maybe you're in a show, maybe you're getting ready for a warm vacation. Well here's the magic pill: Eat fewer calories, and they have to be healthy...and exercise. To speed up burning chubs, you gotta jog/run. (It works the best. Otherwise, pick a different cardio and go longer.) To get toned, you gotta do resistance: (Lift/Yoga/Pilates/Chop wood whatever.)
And you can't eat: Fast Food, Cheese, BBQ Sauce, Fried/Breaded anything, Mayo (Or things that contain, said, salad dressing), guac, sour cream, milk other than skim, sugary beverages, even (I shudder to think of this one) booze.
If you're a casual fitnesser, go for a walk. Buy some dumbells or (yuck) a Tae Bo tape. Do some push-ups.
This was born from people talking about resolutions today. I don't have them. I don't make them. (Hello? I'd forget my own ass if it wasn't stapled to my back) and somebody was literally whining about how she wants to "get in shape". Blug. Find time. Do it.
Just don't try and go to the gym the week after new years. All of the other resolutioners are trying to get their butts to the gym too. They'll quit soon enough.
ps: Arizona does another bang-up job in terms of staying "open-minded" 1st they boycott MLK jr. Day, and now...this:
http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&cid=2027&ncid=2027&e=4&u=/chitribts/20041228/ts_chicagotrib/campusclubseeksrighttoexcludegays
2 comments:
Biggest pet peeve of the new year. Rookies at the gym. They last about mid february and piss me off to no avail. They dont know the rules, fuss about everything, and generally make us gym rats pissy because they are hogging the machines and not doing the excercises right. Grrrr.
I know I should have more compassion, but if people are going to do this, do it right, learn how to work out correctly and maybe, just maybe they will make it past Feb 15. Oh the agony of it all.
Ehhh. I give them an "E" for effort. I dislike disrespectful behavior in the gym anyway.
This is why I like the "Y" by my (current) home. It's old fashioned, there aren't any "posers" (People go there to work-out and sweat and go home. Not stare) and just about everyone is friendly and respectful. It reminds me of the movie "Pumping Iron", y'know? Gold's Gym in Venice, before it went all spandex and commercial.
The changing room still smells like ass, though.
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