They sell wine at Target?

(Ed. Note- The Christmasbaby Blog is going to be a play by play of our trip to Portland last week. What you'll be reading, matey's, is my observances/experiences of the trip for your amusement. Links to applicable restaurants/sites will be included in case you're planning a trip any time soon. Dates listed are from Saturday, June 12th through Friday the 18th.)


We left at the boot crack of dawn from Mpls after the Bean dropped Moda and I off at MSP Airport. The trip was thusly- D and L's wedding for the first few days with the remainder of the trip on the road with no real destination except some wineries and the beach where they filmed the end of "Goonies". (My contribution to the planning)

We arrived in Seattle where we awaited our connecting flight to Portland, killing time in the airport bar and trying to find something edible...and alcoholic on the menu. (This mistake, a weak bloody Mary and terrible breakfast sandwiches would prove our most costly mistake on the trip, oddly enough.) We hit the tarmac (like a couple of RO-HOCK STARS) for the twin engine to skip us over to OR. What we were treated to on this gorgeous day was a pristine view of Mt.St. Helens (courtesy of our Captain) which took our breath away. I don't know what it is about mountainous vacations, but flying into them gives me chills every time.

We cabbed it over to the rental place (way cheaper via Priceline.com than renting at the airport) and ended up doubling back TO the airport to our hotel. The place was magical for it's unobstructed view of Mt. Hood- And 24 hour fitness/pool areas. Score. We managed some quick lunch over at the Red Robin before heading back.

After a quick power nap, we headed over to Washington park to meet Shade and the Krump for some hiking. (Nestled by the Kids museum, OR Zoo, and Arboretum, it boasts a beautiful rose garden that puts Harriet to shame: http://www.washingtonparkpdx.org/) While catching up with the fellas, we remarked that it was sunny AND beautiful- Two things not often associated w/the Pacific NW. We were informed that this was technically the 1st few days of summer and they endure 7 months of gray misty drizzle prior to that. (As evidenced by the # of people who were fish belly white. I mean, they make albino's look like George Hamilton. Really)

What we encountered on the trail as well as lush green beauty was a fair amount of post-rain mud patches. Some were easier to navigate than others, however the one we happened upon was larger than a king sized mattress and fairly deep. As my buddies delicately traipsed through it, I opted to skip step over to the dryer looking (looking...btw) embankment...only to find out that it was slick. So my leg went underneath me and I landed full out on my side in the middle of the puddle. This jacked my already f#cked up shoulder with white pain up to my ear and covered me from neck to foot in mud. 5 minutes into our walk.

I had to laugh.

We finished the hike easily enough, waiting for the mud to dry and (my) avoiding pictures when I could. I lied when I said I was okay and was anxious to get back for a shower and some ibuprofen. We had a mini-picnic w/some local wine and cheese in the parking lot before (ready BREAK) splitting up to get ready for the night 1 party.

We stopped in a local Target that also sold wine so that we'd have something to bring with (I know, right? Cheez-its, then wine. Go fig) and after being introduced to some more KS residents we headed out to meet the future Hubby and Weef over at Rontoms. (http://www.yelp.com/biz/rontoms-portland-2 FYI, that's right. Their website is a black page. I'm pretty sure there's a reason for that.)

The bar was packed, and I mean packed, and we were famished. The menu had 8 items on it, and it turned out 7 were "out". (Even though we saw burgers etc. passing through the kitchen window) The server was surly, as was pointed out, and we ended up just cock-tailing and commiserating in the corner away from the rabble with the rest of the wedding buddies.

Finally, we were about to eat our own faces off when it was suggested we hit Montage for late night snick snacks. (http://montageportland.com/pageContent.aspx?id=5 ) With the promise of alligator bites and frog legs (?) we trudged off. Trusting out Iphone map apps would get us there. And let me tell you, speakeasies are easier to find. I'd just finished my 14th tirade on the neighborhood (Industrial area? Check. Under an overpass? Check. Dimly lit? Check. I commented that this was like a "Batman" origin story waiting to happen) When we did find it, there were two trannies out front wearing fishnets up to their ears and a woman waiting for her (date?). This dude made his way out the front and slowly but surely as he approached her his torso got lower and lower to the ground until it was parallel and he could grab her for support. Whoops.

Turns out this place is quite the gem. We were seated promptly and the service was fast as can be. We enjoyed (the hell out of) the frog legs...who knew? Before tucking in to their signature make and some crawfish jambalaya while splitting a bottle of wine. So. Effing. Tasty. I was trying to do a mental tally of our bill when it was dropped in front of us and..."This can't be right." The first of many times I'd utter that phrase in Portland. It was sick cheap. And we went back and passed out with the knowledge we had a killer meal for the money.