It seemed like a good idea at the time...

Morning, all! There's a funny new website I'd like to direct your attention to:
http://www.mykitchenfailures.com/

Definitely worth a chuckle and more tongue in cheek than the hippo site. Reading it, however, got me thinking about two things: (A) We haven't updated the hippo site in ages. Frass. And (2) I had an epic failure of such proportion, the likes of which should be uttered never more...which is a fancy pants way of saying I f#cked up something that seemed like a good idea at the time. (I won't even terrorize you with the risotto incident. When Moda's away the Mikey will play? Hardly. I'll just f#ck up dinner)

First off, let's just say I love shopping w/Mom. And not for the "Hey I'm gonna get free stuff" angle but I like being able to play faux nutrition expert when she makes her choices. A few month's ago, we went out to dinner in the Ridgedale area and afterwards she mentioned she wanted to pick up a few things at TJ's. Awesome! So we loped over there and meandered for a bit, picking up bits and bots and turning mom on to the awesomeness which are freeze dried wasabi peas as a snack. Before completing her purchase, my eyes were drawn to these little morsels:


That's right...mixing the two most awesome foods in the world: Seafood AND Sausage? It HAD to be good. And b/c Moda made a vom face, I opted to cook it while she went on her road trip. So while they were thawing, I read the ingredients which played out like a list of all white fish mashed together. I was anxious to get the things on the grill when I noticed the explicit instruction: "Pan Fry or Bake only- Do NOT Grill" ...oooookay?

So into the pan they went while I spent the next 20 minutes carefully turning them. Boy were they smoky. No...really...they're issuing billows of black smoke. In spite of the windows being open, I had to bring the fans downstairs. (Note to self- Next big reno project? A ductless vent/fan for over the stove)

Finally they were done...or at least they must have been with all the rigmarole that went into extricating them from the pan. And for the curious, yes. They were awful. Not wholly unpalateable, just. Well they downright tasted bad. And I made it through 2.5 before tossing the lot. (I had to eat'em. Mom bought them, after all) The worse part? Well the beginning worst part was the spatter, which had managed to cover the wall next to and behind the stove/side of the microwave with an oily fish goo that took ample amounts of 409 to remove.

The really worst part? The smell...In spite of cleaning everything top to bottom, twice, my kitchen retained that smell for the next two weeks. My roommate, ever the thinker and lover of incense burned sandalwood ad infintum with the windows down. Which only served to mask the fish smell with a woody sweetness.

What I've learned is: Fish and sausage are definitely not chocolate and peanut butter. And to relegate the sausage to grill-outside- where any smoky failures can just dissapate in the wind.

<---Trader Joe's Fail.