I'm pretty sure in these last few hours before the polls open I'm not going to change anyone's mind. I want you all to vote- democrat, republican. I mean it. I LOVE voting I LOVE the process, and while this whole election season has been stressful I LOVE how excited and involved democrats get about voting. And none of this will matter after tomorrow night, anyway. I might even have celebratory drink. Lord knows, I'll need one either way.
As it stands, I get a whopping 6 views from people who either forgot to subscribe, click the link on social media, or are (bless their kindness) genuinely okay with reading the grammatical nonsense a guy who throws words down without much time to proof read much less condense into a palatable and relatable article. It's not my journal, y'all, but I have *things* that needs said.
And since a lead in photo increases my viewership by 2-5 peeps, and because it had to do with a LONG rant I had previously written for today comparing sports fans to party line voters that I chucked- I kept the picture of Case Keenum.* during his one-good-year here from an old stock photo. If my lead in picture has to do with my family or (specifically) my daughter? I'll get 20-25 people reading. So let me thread carefully this since I have everyone here:
I have had one solid saving grace in my life that has been both a constant to me. One that I cherish and would protect until I was unable to crawl and that is my family. In 4 years, I have been married to my rock, and we have traveled and grew together with our experiences- and planned and fought and scraped and journaled and fooled around, and lost a baby, before bringing into the world our Izzy. We've managed to fulfill ourselves theatrically here and there. We've watched Rachel's family and even some of my own family grow and to me- these are the most precious and dear things in the last 4 years.
That's where it stops. Full stop. End. Doneski.
Since 2016, my mom passed away. I cut loose family that had proven untrustworthy and unapologetic in their graft which meant the loss of my being able to spend time with my niece and nephew. Then through voter apathy, controlled fraud/racism/voter manipulation, and foreign influence we were presented with a toxic drunk driver to helm the ship. Then I lost my beloved job of 5 years due (after being told- by said family- I spent my life with my hand out) to a massive restructure and was adrift while experiencing the aforementioned miscarriage. Filtering through family records I made some discoveries about mom and dad that affected the lens with which i viewed them. From listening to friends experiences I discovered my own culpability regarding privilege and benefiting my entire life from systemic racism. I stopped spending time with my best friend who grew bitter and toxic and was beyond kindness and reason. Karate, a part of my soul and zen- closed it's doors. I went to counseling, I had open and honest communications with my wife, I found my drinking and eating was stress-triggered, my blood pressure and cholesterol were dangerously high, I started feeling isolated and removed from pretty much everyone. I reach out. I'd talk. And then? There'd be gaps of silence.
Through my wife's pregnancy I was able to find new people and new work, before taking a brave leap and finding a newer job which- to be really real- wasn't what I was expecting and was incredibly challenging and defeating every. Single. Day. I love my family. We persevere. We keep saying we are okay and we calm ourselves with gratitude. We talk. We press and head toward a new year. More stress. The baby is dangerously sick. My wife and I both get dangerously sick. As I struggle to walk up and down the stairs, I'm reminded that we are also talking about moving. I worry. I stress. Money becomes more of an issue. "If my family hadn't screwed us over..."/"We can't keep going back to that".
Suddenly we're in a pandemic. A slow creeping panic as we wonder if we're going to have jobs. If we'll need to quit to take care of our kid full time. My wife is navigating benefits and a workplace from home that is simultaneously addressing the needs of the staff in the time of COVID. My job begins the cycle of "are you being productive at home?" which increases the need to PRODUCE and places new strict and stressful overbearing measures as I work at my dining room table- the top of which I haven't seen since last Winter.
George Floyd is murdered by police 23 weeks ago at the start of Summer which casts a pall over the entire city. Crime, *violent* crime increases in patches. I feel most of my days are convincing people that there are legitimate and nuanced reasons for the increases and ("No, we're not moving out to the suburbs"/"Well I think you should. It's really bad, Mike"/"Says who?"/"Says me"/"The only people who think the Twin Cities are no longer a vibrant and beautiful place to live are from Albertville and or are racist")
There's still a pall. There's still death from pandemic flu. I still haven't hugged anyone outside of my bubble in 8 months. I have my wife, and her family, and this is our continued source of gratitude. We could be alone. Our kid could be 7 and missing their friends.
There were still pictures on social media of party after Halloween party. Inside. Bourbon street in New Orlean's was packed with revelers.
And 4 years after the last election, there seems to be a person who's still on the ballot who- while not the cause of my unemployment (directly, but it's the 2nd sitting Republican president who's lorded over the nation while unemployment rates are skyrocketing) or personal medical travails (directly, but after four years of dealing with people who seem to think a lack of character, morals, integrity, and values much less a toddler's grasp of piloting the space shuttle when it comes to understanding their job. Especially when part of your job is understanding how the country works and, well, you have people as resources who can answer questions you don't know pretty quickly)
He won in 2016. He road the crest of Obama era job restructuring and maintained it without plunging us downward immediately. While that was happening, he fostered a nation that shook free the cover from prejudice and racism which gave his followers *permission* to be racism. *Permisssion* to hate and heckle. What started in 2008 with Obama's election after 8 terrifying years beholden to a crumbling national infrastructure and economy brought on by a Republican backed Congress and terrorist act was beginning to finally place our country on firm footing.
He ruined it. He's ruined our country. He's taken every opportunity to wake ME up with new lies every single day. Every day. And I'm so fucking tired of it. When it comes to acknowledging racism, systemic or otherwise- to acknowledging a world that has mistreated and victimized BIMPOC citizens, women, Trans-individuals, people suffering mental illness...I have ENERGY to ADVOCATE for them. I have STRENGTH to fight fascists and racists with my bare hands. I have EYES to roll at people that hunker in their forest bunker because THAT is where they will STAY like that Japanese soldier on the island who didn't know WW2 was over.
What I can't do is any of it when what was "good enough" for Republicans at their lowest and most contemptible allowed for them to sink lower and accept Donald Trump in a position of power. It has taken away my ability to consider reasoning or reaching across an aisle. It has robbed me of my grace and sympathy for their lack of growth and ability to flex with the changing times. I cannot listen to my own family use racist language, share Infowars or Blaze videos or Fox News as gospel. The din of Twitter is not something I can hide from as it provides me with the knowledge that These are Those In the World Who Have Forfeited Sense.
And these people will be running the world I am desperately trying to raise my kind to be a kind a decent person who will love her father.
Here's the starting point. Please vote:
(*It was, if I'm being honest, REALLY funny. I think present day Viking fans with their perpetual annual loyalty is admirable. Until MF'ers started going from their armchair knowledge to straight up toxic shittiness. I was talking to friends about the waste of investment Kirk Cousins was, and how Keenum had a pretty good season here and made a point to say he enjoyed Minnesota and hoped he could grow with the team before BOOM the check book is out and we have a new expensive fucking quarterback who is useless as an asshole on my elbow.
I was "Well-Actually'd" by these bruhs telling me "Well and just HOW is Keenum doing NOW? " like they magically 8-Balled motherfuckers career trajectory after being honked from the Vikes after a successful season and STILL doesn't rationalize an overpriced useless QB when we STILL perpetually lose in our GORGEOUS NEW stadium and the fans STILL get rabid and are finally- after 50 years- maybe kind of seeing the cracks in their stupid fuck armchair arguments since the door slam is NO SUPERBOWLS EVER FOR THE VIKINGS...That and I mentioned we probably could have gotten Kaepernick for a STEAL if the Vikes would have been brave enough to take a risk at an in-prime solid QB with good leadership skills but NO he's got BAGGAGE and this is why they fucking fail.
My funny was that the Vikes leadership is fucking Borat, right? And the conversation is "Ok. How we make the Vikqueens wing this super bowel?"/"Well, we need 4 big guys who can stand there and keep other guys from tackling the quarterback. It seems we never give the quarterback enough time to do anything. Ever." /"Ok. Maybe we spend MORE money on quarterback and get new uniforms? HIGH FIVE!"
Was my joke. Which isn't a joke. Move'em to Texas already.)
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