No shame...No Mama

I just auditioned to be a beaver for the MN state lottery.

I...


No.

See, I've done some weird ass things as an actor. My favorite scrap of paper that came from an acting prof who was grading scenes said "Take Bigger Risks!!!". I like that. And I like to think that I do from time to time. I have no problems with (To my mother's everlasting shame) getting buck on stage. Beating myself up, literally...with no regard to personal safety, every performance of GMIKFTH.

So here's me, at the casting agent...listening to all the dumb jokes being said outside which I'm pretty sure they'd all heard (I stood by quietly, for a change. Reading the storyboard/directions. "Start crouched. Beaver-like. Slate. Place 'stick' in your mouth. 'Beaver' (dog) paddle toward the camera. Drop stick in appropriate spot on the dam. Look to other beavers who are flanking you for approval".

I'm paraphrasing...a titch...but that was word-for-word the direction.

So I'm crouched down, stripped to my waist (See bit about nudity) listening to the camera guy tell me what to do. I do it. And I'm done. W/in 45 seconds of slating my name.

I left feeling...weird. The other beavers-to-be were a titch more robust than I was, and in spite of not being in tip-top shape right now I still wound up feeling like the "runt-beaver"..."pygmy-beaver"..."beaver-midgie". I left thinking "What if I got this? I go through life not watching much TV, so I miss a lot of local spots that have actor's I know. If I get this...I'd be one of those actors. And forevermore, I wouldn't be Spider-man....I'd be 'Beaver-Boy'...Do you want that, P?"



I shit you little I do. Heh. Fah. Knee.