No worries...curry?

Do you know what I love? Chinese take-out. Lots.

While mired in work, race-training, karate, and rehearsals- dinner is usually me scarfing "fake meat" in the form of veggie buffalo nugs or Morningstar (veggie) turkey burgers? When I'm feeling rushed or have the jones, I'm a cheap take-out whore. It's gotten to the point where, I believe I've mentioned, the guys at Great Dragon know me. (They never ask for my name/number, because clearly I'm the only asshole who orders the mock-duck or spicy garlic broccoli. Oh, and once they had to apologize up and down when they were out of Mock Duck. "You're a Chinese restaurant, man. Who ELSE here eats mock duck- and if it's only been me? How much have I eaten?!?! Don't answer that.")

What I hate (#1) is that I'm so addicted to the take-out. I should (reasonably) be able to make something like that at home for Pete's sake...and I used to cook all the time. And #2- while the food is good and marginally healthy? They put s#it in it that I cannot stand. Namely? Baby corn and mushrooms. (Shudders) If they could only just make it with the "good" stuff (namely- everything except the aforementioned demon bits) then I'd probably marry it. So for the last couple of weeks/months I've been thinking about just making my own at home, except with the things in it I like. (And before you frass- no, I can't have them substitute it or have them make it without the demon bits. I'm not that fussy and can pick around it. SHIVERS!!!)

It's been an age since I've actually cooked/crafted something from scratch, and lest I get rusty and forget the difference between a zester and lemon-press- I knew it was important to put on my big-kid apron and get cooking stat.

Something... other than pasta or chili that sits in the tupperware while I demolish it over the work week, or making something on the grill (Which is fairly elementary. Turn on fire. Drop food on fire. Try not to burn). I wanted to create. I wanted to engage in some mad-scientist cooking shenanigans based solely on what ingredients I had around. Fortunately for me, that meant I had a wealth of veggies leftover from the weekend that fit my ideal of what would make for a "good stir-fry". Moreover? I had the spices/sauces to put together what (in my mind) was going to be a kick-ass curry dish.

As some of my more long-term readers will attest, my "experiments" usually (always) fall weeeell short of how I envision they'll turn out in my brain-movie. Hello. I have become my father.

That's not to say it was an epic failure, but I started making some errors the moment I exited the co-op. I'm blaming the fact that I was just done with my workout, was peckish and therefore running on empty- and even though the co-op is small- it was distracting last night.

THE ORIGINAL IDEA:
Curried vegetables with tofu over jasmine rice.
WHAT I HAD:
Red potatoes, garlic, red bell peppers, spinach, zucchini, tomato, coconut milk, curry paste (and a slew of various curries and spices)
WHAT I NEEDED:
Extra-firm tofu, broccoli, and ginger

HOW I MANAGED TO COCK IT UP:
Apparently I suffered a minor stroke in the produce aisle. I grabbed the ginger, which was really the only thing I remembered. Then I grabbed another Zuke (what?) and some green onion/scallions (my zig-zaggy brain was thinking about making quinoa w/garlic and black beans this weekend). Then I passed over the tofu completely in order to sample some cheese. That was some great cheese! So I doubled back to the produce aisle...feeling like I was forgetting something, but then tossing the sharp goats-milk cheddar in my basket.

Circling the store, I was further buffaloed by their deli selection...Sallying forth only when I mentally made the committment to "making" my dinner versus something pre-packaged...and I still managed to toss the chickpeas w/garlic and spinach in my basket. Leave me alone...I WAS STARVING!!!

Getting home, setting everything out, stepping back, putting my hands on my hips...I started cussing up a blue streak when I realized what I'd forgotten. I stopped long enough only to fuel the fire by imagining the looks from the hippy cashiers as they mutter under their breath "Forgot something the 1st time...eh?" with a little chuckle. Which, in turn, would launch me across the register in an apocolyptic rage and throttle them by their hemp necklace and knit yarn-beanie until the beat me down with sacks of wheat germ.

I was not starting in a happy place. (And the f#ck all thing was that this was the kind of s#it I'd do when Moda and I cooked together. FYI? There IS in fact a huge difference between Kosher Salt and Sea Salt. Not that I'd know. It's on the internet somewhere. So it must be true. Grumble-frass)

Eventually, I talked myself out of going back to the co-op. I knew I didn't really need the tofu per se, and had enough veggies that procuring broccoli was a little moot. So, I started by getting to the chopper and prepping the garlic and ginger. (And here, I will provide photos and instructional commentary. Enjoy)



Sous-Cheffin'. Peel and grate the ginger and peel/finely chop 4 cloves of garlic. Place in an oversized wok (the two-hander procured from Ikea. It...uh...had some dust in it, if that gives you an indication of the last time I used it.) Adding a couple Tbsps of olive oil, sautee the garlic and ginger on low heat while choppa-choppa'ing the rest of your veggies. (De-seed the tomato as well)


I added the potatoes to saute'/soften 1st. It was a cheat, but I had nearly an entire bag of pre-cooked/sliced red tomatoes. I ain't too proud. At this point, I started cheese nibblin'. Sue me. I was multi-tasking (i.e. checking the internet, throwing my dirty gym clothes in the laundry, dog-proofing my bed and couches) before I realized that I should, in fact, babysit the burner...as the ginger/garlic was starting to burn a little. It was also here that I figured that I would be the only one eating it...so f#ck it.


I also tossed in sprinkles of tumeric, vindaloo seasoning, salt, pepper, and hot curry powder to taste.

Step 2, I tossed in the remaining veggies (along with some snap peas for snap) and let them go for a few minutes before emptying the lite coconut milk over the mess and pushing it around for consistency. (Stirring It's called stirring I guess?)

Step 3- toss in the stuff that's most likely to get "wilty" last. There's really no science here. At this point I wondered why I wasn't drinking wine. Then I saw I had that chickpea deli salad? And tossed it riiiight the f#ck in there. Also, I noticed after dropping a dollop of green curry paste in the mix that I had splashed the sauce all down the front of my pants/t-shirt. I considered stripping down and wearing naught but an apron and then taking cheesecake photos. I then remembered that I'd personally make fun of ANYone doing that very same thing if they were sober. AND realized I was sober. AND?!?! Who the hell would I send it to? My family? Weeeeird.

AND AND?!?!? Knowing my luck so far? AL would show up with the dog about the same time I was standing in front of the mirror taking pictures bare-assed and be-apron'ed. No good. Try and make good decisions, friends. At the very least, one's that you won't be embarrassed about later.

Having forgot the jasmine rice, I did manage to rustle up some microwaveable brown rice which I dumped the whole mix on top of. AL did manage to show up 30 minutes early (thankfully after I'd cleaned up) and made the initial comment of "Is there any MEAT in it?" When I responded in the negative, he performed an about face and ran down to Holy Land for some protein. Okay.

He did eventually try some and proclaimed it as "killin'" which surprised the nuts off of me since I figured he'd immediately hate the hell out of it. And even after trying it myself, I was happy enough that it was palatable, and made enough to power me through the week.

Bottom line? Next time? I'm writing my ingredients list in advance. This improv was definitely not funny, but at least it was not painful either.

Lucky me...
:(

Autumnal Harvest

I was right...

It has been a s#itty growing season. To be fair, there are probably a lot of factors involved and the fact is that since starting the garden we've had a couple of wimby-wimby harvests. Still, I've been as diligent as I can be and so far it's been a mild disappointment. Not huge. Just the"Awwww. Shoot" kind.

In the interest of focusing on the positive, the cherry heirlooms have been a steady source of produce and support, and the herbs have consistently stayed fruitful. We've had a few heirlooms come out (however there are still about 20 or so on the vine that are still GREEN!) I think the squash is almost ready, but outside of a few gardening websites I researched, I can't be sure if they're good to go. The jalapenos and zukes finally produced, and one (pictured below) made it's way into a nice grilled mess, but the 2nd (and last one I had) I dropped on the ground on my way out to the car and BOOM it exploded. (Not, like, "broken and bruised"...it flat out exploded) On another positive note, the flowers in the front planter have remained bright and thick. I may stick with them again next year after the initial tulip burst dies out.


I'm hoping to have some more pictures and produce as the season changes, but I'm thinking that I'm going to write off 2011 as a "bad growing season". Moda picked up some special grass to plant once the garden is torn up, and with the roommate diligently turning the composter I think we'll have a nice fertile area to play with in 2012. Fingers crossed that we don't get gobsmacked with snow so we can get the leaf covering down. Bon Appetit...



Inexplicable. I've barely watered these and they were nigh on overrun with weeds until I took care of business. And they done blown up!


I'll let you pretend that that doesn't look delicious. With goat cheese, a little balsamic vinegar and basil? Yum.

Broccoli, heirlooms/cherry heirlooms, and the zuke.

JALAPENOS!!! I gave one to my co-worker, and so she can make "an" popper. (I'm betting these guys'll be hot. The banana peppers have face-melting properties...)

Humble Garden Beginnings take 4, er, 1...

The title of today's piece is because I realize that over the last year or so I've been writing repeat blog title's. Not a big deal, but "It's the Day of the Race, Y'all" before the Get in Gear 10K? EXACT same shit I typed last year at the same time. I'm an Uncreative Urkel.

Please note...the following post is very sad:

While it's with some excitement that comes with the Spring planting season, it's also a marked change. Since we humbly started our garden 4 seasons ago (when it was about the size of a door frame)it was done so as a joint venture. Since Moda has finally moved into her new home, she will be embarking on landscaping and gardening tasks of her own tastes and fancies. While we still plan on being "Bi-Coastal" gardeners (if you can count Central Ave and 37th Ave NE as the divider) it does mean a few changes for my routine personally.

I confess that while the property was mine, I was more than happy to sit back and let Moda do the general puttering and maintenence during the planting and harvest season. (To be fair, it wasn't really a case of "I'm gonna sit back and dick around while she's pulling up weeds. I've been the garden expander and mulch/dirt hauler in addition to the expense sharer when it comes to the usual plantings. In addition to the other maintenence and landscaping as well. Hey. Just speaking my piece, fools.)

Anyway, the kerflufflings at her new casa in addition to my roommate being smack in the middle of finals (read: He gets up, plants himself in front of his laptop in the nook, and doesn't excise himself until the late hours) means something new to me, or at least, as new as an experience can be around your home of 6 years: I'm relegated to doing most of this shit all by myself.

I know, I know, "Woe is me" but really it's going to be fodder for a new style of humble beginnings in which you get my gardening skills which tend to lean toward barrelling into things headlong versus the smarter method planned research my S.O. tends to do. It should prove exciting.

Lastly, I've decided to make a few more projects happen. While doing internal repair/design/remodelling typically scares me, landscaping projects are an area where I feel that it only takes a little moxie, muscle, and the werewithal to make your dreams come true. That, and a metric f#ck-ton of cedar mulch.

So in the interest of giving you pictures for those disinclined to read these dumb things: Here is the beginnings of the Great Garden/Landscaping/Bounty extravaganza 2011!

It's like the "Great Muppet Caper", but with foliage!(Stage 1.5: The topmost picture is my front planter. The tulips are all up and happy and ready to die, yet again. Or get eaten by the bun-buns. The marigolds are planted for some consistent color)

Pictured: The author with his gumption in tact and new work gloves. While the cost of the dumb things is about as much as a 6-pack of the black/yellow work gloves my father was fond of, I find the ability to have a better grip and dexterity to be helpful. And, they have some nice padding in addition to mesh backs. So they breathe.

I usually have to replace my Shepard's Crook hanging basket annually and this year I went with the coconut fiber bottom. I'm sad to say it's already manky and will probably need replaced toute suite. Bad investment, that. However, by way of a housewarming/gardenwarming gift I did hook up Moda with her own Shep/Crook and black & white Dafoodils in a hanging basket. Thanks, Farmers market!

My favorite: The lilac boarders. They're a little late due to the cold hanging out so long, but they're purpling up nicely. (And I have a few whitey's as well) I'm anxious for the 5 days or so that they smell will waft through my open windows. (Not pictured, the de-vining I had to do. Scratched myself up good doing that crap)

Right. The little rosemary that could. Planted last season, we brought her in during the winter and surprisingly she hung on in spite of bouts of mankiness. Go figure, the first time I think it's okay to move outside, boom. So it was off to compost heaven, just in time to make room for...

my first Farmer's Market visit! Alone! What? I don't know...it's always been a partner trip for me. I knew that I wanted to get my herbs potted but to hold off on veggies until next week going into June. The assortment was 1st split up (Moda got half) and the rest with the things we use regularly around the kitchen: Basil, Cilantro, Italian Parsley, new Rosemary, etc. ALSO, I bought my first asparagus plant. Had we planted some around the 1st year we made the garden, we'd have been enjoying potty smells for the last two seasons. Now, I won't be able to enjoy it until I'm nearing 40 years of age. My potty should still smell.

And there she is. Dusty and rusty, but ready to go. I'm doing what I've (repeatedly) told myself I wasn't going to do and expand her out about 2-3 more feet. I figure it'll give me another few fighting feet to keep the Creeping Charlie at bay, and It'll give me room to put more things in it. (Right now, we're experiencing the joys of nearly half my garden being taken up by garlic. The scapes, I'm sure, will be delish-come June. However there was the tiny issue of room for the rest of the garden. I'm planning on tomatoes, peppers, broccoli, and maybe-Mayyyyybe some Zukes. I already tossed a handful of green onions in a pot so they don't blow up. We'll see)

More dirt was needed where it settled over the winter. I'd read that adding manure/compost early on will help maintain a rich soil base for the summer. So you're looking at around 300 lbs of shit and dirt. And it's heavy, and spread. (My composter is still digesting, as you can see. Note- I was able to convince my roommate that turning the composter every two weeks is "good exercise." He responded by asking if he could do it more than every two weeks. No lie.)

These next two pictured above and below are the areas in my yard where I plan on doing the majority of my landscaping projects this summer. My yard is divvied up into sort of a "Quad", with the garden being the furthest back, then the small lot behind the garage, then closer to the house with the patio/grill on one side and the boxelder on the other. Soooooo, to reduce the amount of lawn to maintain I'm planning on tearing it up where it gets the most direct sun and subsequently requires the most water and covering it with mulch- Then finishing by planting some native perrenials to pretty it up. That'll leave the front yard and the far back as the only mowable patches. And I need a bocce court.