No worries...curry?

Do you know what I love? Chinese take-out. Lots.

While mired in work, race-training, karate, and rehearsals- dinner is usually me scarfing "fake meat" in the form of veggie buffalo nugs or Morningstar (veggie) turkey burgers? When I'm feeling rushed or have the jones, I'm a cheap take-out whore. It's gotten to the point where, I believe I've mentioned, the guys at Great Dragon know me. (They never ask for my name/number, because clearly I'm the only asshole who orders the mock-duck or spicy garlic broccoli. Oh, and once they had to apologize up and down when they were out of Mock Duck. "You're a Chinese restaurant, man. Who ELSE here eats mock duck- and if it's only been me? How much have I eaten?!?! Don't answer that.")

What I hate (#1) is that I'm so addicted to the take-out. I should (reasonably) be able to make something like that at home for Pete's sake...and I used to cook all the time. And #2- while the food is good and marginally healthy? They put s#it in it that I cannot stand. Namely? Baby corn and mushrooms. (Shudders) If they could only just make it with the "good" stuff (namely- everything except the aforementioned demon bits) then I'd probably marry it. So for the last couple of weeks/months I've been thinking about just making my own at home, except with the things in it I like. (And before you frass- no, I can't have them substitute it or have them make it without the demon bits. I'm not that fussy and can pick around it. SHIVERS!!!)

It's been an age since I've actually cooked/crafted something from scratch, and lest I get rusty and forget the difference between a zester and lemon-press- I knew it was important to put on my big-kid apron and get cooking stat.

Something... other than pasta or chili that sits in the tupperware while I demolish it over the work week, or making something on the grill (Which is fairly elementary. Turn on fire. Drop food on fire. Try not to burn). I wanted to create. I wanted to engage in some mad-scientist cooking shenanigans based solely on what ingredients I had around. Fortunately for me, that meant I had a wealth of veggies leftover from the weekend that fit my ideal of what would make for a "good stir-fry". Moreover? I had the spices/sauces to put together what (in my mind) was going to be a kick-ass curry dish.

As some of my more long-term readers will attest, my "experiments" usually (always) fall weeeell short of how I envision they'll turn out in my brain-movie. Hello. I have become my father.

That's not to say it was an epic failure, but I started making some errors the moment I exited the co-op. I'm blaming the fact that I was just done with my workout, was peckish and therefore running on empty- and even though the co-op is small- it was distracting last night.

THE ORIGINAL IDEA:
Curried vegetables with tofu over jasmine rice.
WHAT I HAD:
Red potatoes, garlic, red bell peppers, spinach, zucchini, tomato, coconut milk, curry paste (and a slew of various curries and spices)
WHAT I NEEDED:
Extra-firm tofu, broccoli, and ginger

HOW I MANAGED TO COCK IT UP:
Apparently I suffered a minor stroke in the produce aisle. I grabbed the ginger, which was really the only thing I remembered. Then I grabbed another Zuke (what?) and some green onion/scallions (my zig-zaggy brain was thinking about making quinoa w/garlic and black beans this weekend). Then I passed over the tofu completely in order to sample some cheese. That was some great cheese! So I doubled back to the produce aisle...feeling like I was forgetting something, but then tossing the sharp goats-milk cheddar in my basket.

Circling the store, I was further buffaloed by their deli selection...Sallying forth only when I mentally made the committment to "making" my dinner versus something pre-packaged...and I still managed to toss the chickpeas w/garlic and spinach in my basket. Leave me alone...I WAS STARVING!!!

Getting home, setting everything out, stepping back, putting my hands on my hips...I started cussing up a blue streak when I realized what I'd forgotten. I stopped long enough only to fuel the fire by imagining the looks from the hippy cashiers as they mutter under their breath "Forgot something the 1st time...eh?" with a little chuckle. Which, in turn, would launch me across the register in an apocolyptic rage and throttle them by their hemp necklace and knit yarn-beanie until the beat me down with sacks of wheat germ.

I was not starting in a happy place. (And the f#ck all thing was that this was the kind of s#it I'd do when Moda and I cooked together. FYI? There IS in fact a huge difference between Kosher Salt and Sea Salt. Not that I'd know. It's on the internet somewhere. So it must be true. Grumble-frass)

Eventually, I talked myself out of going back to the co-op. I knew I didn't really need the tofu per se, and had enough veggies that procuring broccoli was a little moot. So, I started by getting to the chopper and prepping the garlic and ginger. (And here, I will provide photos and instructional commentary. Enjoy)



Sous-Cheffin'. Peel and grate the ginger and peel/finely chop 4 cloves of garlic. Place in an oversized wok (the two-hander procured from Ikea. It...uh...had some dust in it, if that gives you an indication of the last time I used it.) Adding a couple Tbsps of olive oil, sautee the garlic and ginger on low heat while choppa-choppa'ing the rest of your veggies. (De-seed the tomato as well)


I added the potatoes to saute'/soften 1st. It was a cheat, but I had nearly an entire bag of pre-cooked/sliced red tomatoes. I ain't too proud. At this point, I started cheese nibblin'. Sue me. I was multi-tasking (i.e. checking the internet, throwing my dirty gym clothes in the laundry, dog-proofing my bed and couches) before I realized that I should, in fact, babysit the burner...as the ginger/garlic was starting to burn a little. It was also here that I figured that I would be the only one eating it...so f#ck it.


I also tossed in sprinkles of tumeric, vindaloo seasoning, salt, pepper, and hot curry powder to taste.

Step 2, I tossed in the remaining veggies (along with some snap peas for snap) and let them go for a few minutes before emptying the lite coconut milk over the mess and pushing it around for consistency. (Stirring It's called stirring I guess?)

Step 3- toss in the stuff that's most likely to get "wilty" last. There's really no science here. At this point I wondered why I wasn't drinking wine. Then I saw I had that chickpea deli salad? And tossed it riiiight the f#ck in there. Also, I noticed after dropping a dollop of green curry paste in the mix that I had splashed the sauce all down the front of my pants/t-shirt. I considered stripping down and wearing naught but an apron and then taking cheesecake photos. I then remembered that I'd personally make fun of ANYone doing that very same thing if they were sober. AND realized I was sober. AND?!?! Who the hell would I send it to? My family? Weeeeird.

AND AND?!?!? Knowing my luck so far? AL would show up with the dog about the same time I was standing in front of the mirror taking pictures bare-assed and be-apron'ed. No good. Try and make good decisions, friends. At the very least, one's that you won't be embarrassed about later.

Having forgot the jasmine rice, I did manage to rustle up some microwaveable brown rice which I dumped the whole mix on top of. AL did manage to show up 30 minutes early (thankfully after I'd cleaned up) and made the initial comment of "Is there any MEAT in it?" When I responded in the negative, he performed an about face and ran down to Holy Land for some protein. Okay.

He did eventually try some and proclaimed it as "killin'" which surprised the nuts off of me since I figured he'd immediately hate the hell out of it. And even after trying it myself, I was happy enough that it was palatable, and made enough to power me through the week.

Bottom line? Next time? I'm writing my ingredients list in advance. This improv was definitely not funny, but at least it was not painful either.

Lucky me...
:(

The results are in!

I'm about to tell you a tale of the results of that 2012 Fitness Challenge I frassed about at the start of the year, here. For my friends who were really hoping the blog would be more "cat-centric", I'm sorry to report the kitties had to go back to their "real" dad. Also, for the visually stimulated among the lot of you- I apologize for no before or after pictures. My genial narcissism is tempered by my own self-consciousness/loathing...and dislike of topless photo's/photo's in general of myself. While I promise to keep this more factual than nauseatingly self-deprecating...I just think it'll be funnier if I tell it to you in...my own voice...Mostly, if you're interested in how the regime actually worked out for me.

Pictured: How I look at the end of a treadmill workout as I hang from the handrails- grimacing like I'm constipated and complete with a tubful of sweat, claws, and easily groomable body-hair.

Yesterday I was standing on the landing by the front door and rocking my winter running "costume" when I had an epiphany: While it is February...and stupidly balmy for MN...and there was really no reason I shouldn't go for a run...I actually said:

Fuuuuuck this.

And then I stripped out of my layers and crawled into bed for a power-nap. Do you know why? Because I was tired, and refused to feel guilty. And January is over, sucka's.

Not to put a fine a point on it- Le results, for the numerically saavy: (January 2012)

Total Workouts (Running/Weights/Karate): 37
Total Hours: 25
Total Miles: 80
Total Calories burned (est): 15,000

Height: 5' 10"
Weight: (pre) 183 (post) 180
(Note: Several of the workouts were doubled up and factually I worked out about 70% of January. Also, I don't log my "wake-up" routine of stretching/core work/upper body awakening. Or as Mr. McConnaughey sez: "Push-ups n' Sit-up's...all right all right all right")

So what did I learn? What was I hoping to gain from this? Going in, I was excited at the prospect of adhering to a new routine and sticking to it. To "not" give lipservice to training and really work my nards off- celebrity/professional athlete style! I knew that I'd either have to spend a considerable amount of time doing it. (Indicating that I either was very dedicated, or had no life to speak of. And let me tell you, friends- It's hard not to think you're the latter versus the former) I partly believed that my body would have a quick-ish response to the training and the results would be -hopefully- immediate. True, I wasn't eliminating everything from my diet like some pre-contest bodybuilder or Spartan king.

Put the Merlot and Muenster Cheese down, motherf#cker...

I figured I had my calories measured so that I was maximizing my input/output necessary to facillitate my workouts and burn any other superfluous nonsense. My OTHER hope was to navigate down toward the 170's pound-age wise...but outside of a handful of times during a morning weigh-in I never dropped down there. Sure, I went down notch on my belt. And of COURSE the stupid fast twitch muscle fibers in my arms liked having a day all to themselves. And while it wasn't shapely and sculpted, whatever subsequent weight loss happened as a result of spending more time isolating my chest allowed me to make out the (hopefully benign) sebaceous cyst that's lived in the area around my sternum my whole life.

Cyst? What cyst? I can't find anything between these throw-pillows I call my chest.

Lastly? Man oh Man oh Man oh Man. I got soooooo fah-king tired. (occasionally) Trying to run at 5 then going to work at 6-7am then hitting the gym afterwards- OR going from the gym to karate to home again? (Karate "suffered" the most. I only wedged in 2 visits in January.) My ass felt like lead. And the soreness? In my muscles? Never really went away. There was always something new ripping and tearing and re-growing. My neck and back felt sledgehammered. (Which, if the article is to be believed, means I'm storing a shit ton of eeeevil on a cellular level...)

I started to get tired of the gross and sweaty laundry I was doing sometimes twice a week. The feeling like I had to bundle up for an outdoor run and the subsequent peeling off of clothes just because it was nice out. (Or because the cute couple I pass every morning that runs together made me feel guilty) The (sometimes) two showers a day. I ended up developing an unhealthy addiction to caffeine (natch) in order to push through the day which played hell with my tummy. And if I was going to a gig at the end of the day? I couldn't even nap because I was always exhausted AND wound up!

And in the end? I didn't even manage to do the 6 days on 1 off! Sometimes I'd give it a day, two days in between here and there. I literally could not even drag my butt out the front door or from work to the gym-And I brought my gym bag every single day. (To be fair, I convinced myself that they were getting grossly tired of seeing my face daily at the club) Finally, I reiterated this to myself. I thought: "This is why models and superstars are paid the big bucks. This is why bodybuilders & fitness enthusiasts get sponsers". And I didn't want to even be built like either.

I just wanted to try on something new for a bit and stick with it.

Without seeming like I'm grumbling too much: The original idea was, truly, to determine if that type of exercise was a good option for my overall wellness/strength. I think it was a good experiment, and like all workout kerfluffles in my life I'm keeping what was useful and discarding what isn't. The leg work alone made karate easier to recover from (and the karate has been helping my reflexes- I mean, in a useful way...I can't tell you how cool it is to be able to keep the bottle of Summit that you just accidentally tipped over from falling off the counter without spilling a drop.) Spending time focusing on one body-part does along (some) room for recovery and isn't forcing your body to over-tax. (And appear like an equipment hog)

And I still really like going to the gym. This much I'm fairly certain of. And making that and karate into second homes keeps me honest and out of trouble. Add to that, over the last 30 days or so I've spoken with people who are not only returning to the gym, but some just starting to discover their own path to health, weight-loss, wellness, etc. And as a motivator, that gets me jazzed to keep going as well. I might have been fibbing a bit when I said I'm dedicating the month of February to the couch (Although "Deadwood" is taking over my life). Sue me.

And I'll see y'all at the gym.

New Adventures Part Cat...Foster Care

I suppose this act could be construed as my eating crow amongst my friends. Michael says "Blah Blah I don't want/need a dog Blah Blah I don't want/need a new cat Blah". Pet sitting is pretty low-maintenance as long as the animal is chill, (ala' Deuce) and it affords me some quality animal time with the minimum of commitment (HELLO Telling Personal Character Trait!!! Ugh...). So I supposed it was naturally only a matter of time before we welcomed some form of filthy mongrel into our home for a longer period than a friend's vacation. And so today...Welcome to pet fostering!!! Say hello to...um...





Right. Puma and Cougar are a little bit shy.




Through the Jellybean's daughter, we ended up with a line on a pair of kitties that were needing a transitional home. She informed us that they were two boys, very low-key, and have been living alone while she visited them 2 x's a week for feeding/cleaning. After smoothing out the particulars, we agreed to take them on for the next few months. And so the last few weekends on the home front have been a flurry of activity. (The roommate, for those who know, spent about 28 hours over the course of two separate weekends laboriously cleaning his bedroom from top to bottom. For my part...I did some light vaccuuming/dusting and had a couple of beers.)

In case you're curious as to "how does it take that long to clean a room?"...let's just say I'm (slightly) certain he was trying to de-Georgeify the place- his concern being that since they are both male cats, they might get set off sniffing out another former kitty. (Albeit, one that hasn't been around in over 16 months) And that kiiinda was my concern as well, only not about the fact that there've been 2 different kitties in my house in my tenure. No, I was worried that the cats would become another casualty of their environment.

The 'Bean had a very specific and regimented way of caring for Georgie Cat. One that really didn't include catnip, treats (He kiboshed any treats, citing stomach issues) He'd stack boxes of kleenex set on top of high places to keep him from eating them...old plastic grocery bags kept locked away for the same reason. Very. Specific. So now, I made a point to tell him before they moved in that they were going to be our cats that we were fostering. And we would be sharing responsibility. Of that much, I actually put my foot down.

And so, without knowing what the hell they looked like...I came home last night to discover that there were two cats wedged beneath the fainting couch in the dining room. (One convalescing post-nut-snip-surgery) Cougar is the baby, at about 16-18 months. Puma is the shy guy with a squashy face and around 4 years or so.

And I hate their names. There, I said it. I don't care if they might be named after Big Cats...one sounds like the slang for an older woman on the prowl and the other is a lame Super-Villain...


My ability to bestow goofy nicknames notwithstanding, I'm going to need to have another sit-down with the Jellybean and see how flexible he could be with calling them something other than those heathen names. I made jokes about calling them "Arnold" and "Willis"...but it just doesn't fit. And the s#itty thing is that they're still pretty much hidden away so I don't know if they actually respond in some way to those names. Do I opt for witty and ironic? Weighty Historical names? Pop-Culture one-off's? Numbers? Something plain and easy...like "Barry" and "Carl"? "Frick and Frack"? This shit keeps me awake at night, people.

Regardless...I had a small victory early this morning while my roommate and I comically laid down on the floor in front of the divan to try coaxing them out. I managed to get Coug to come to me, and hold him, and give him his post-neutering prescription without a fuss. My roommie almost started crying. The second- smaller- victory is that even though Puma doesn't come out, he's got such a fat ass that it sticks out the corner of the couch. And so...I scratch it.

It's early. There've been no snuggles nor accidents. (My roommate moved just about everything that he assumed could be knocked over to the basement...this included my wine rack. I think another talk is in order. The basement is too far to go for Pinot Noir) Moreover and unfortunately, there'll be no pictures until they can drag their buns out for some quizzical exploration. I'm afraid you'll have to be happy with this...

And the fact that yes...I did procure a big old frassy bag of catnip and some Pounce...and those f#ckers love it. > : )

Reviews: "Cowboys Vs. Aliens" et.al.

Available on DVD/Netflix/Redbox


"Cowboys and Aliens" is what happens when you're about to tuck into a beautiful hot fudge sundae with ice cream only to discover that it's mashed potatoes/gravy/meatloaf...and someone emptied a salt shaker all over it. And I actually sat through it. Bite, by mouth numbingly terrible bite.

All the elements are in place. From the title, the director, the stars, the concept. But, and this is a pretty trivial quibble but I want you to know it's about as obvious as a bad work-print: There were, like, 50 writers credited on this movie. It got to the point that someone would throw out a completely wasted non-sequiter line and I'd turn to my friend and say "I wrote that one. Me." Except even with my terrible grasp of syntax/spelling etc. could have hatched a better fever dream than this dreck. And that's where I think I'll leave this review, with some parting wisdom: Here are some cardinal rules/sins/points of frass that I live by when it comes to watching/enjoying movies. I'm an awfully simple man with simple tastes (I own "Undercover Brother" for pities sake) and I'm also fairly forgiving as well. (I own the Star Wars Prequels, Wolverine, AND X-Men 3 for pities sake) And along with the old addage "Don't Bore Me" and "Don't Bait And Switch your Genre Movie" I'd like to add one that sounds like it was farted out by a matronly schoolteacher:

Don't waste all of that potential. I'm not mad. I'm just...disappointed.

Not quite a full "MacGruber" (0/5) but hangs out with "Green Lantern" (1.5/5)


(Quick bites! Smartly planned Moviethon Trifecta: "36th Chamber of Shaolin", "Lone Wolf & Cub", and "Kill Bill: Vol. 1/Vol. 2" All available on Netflix)

You ever take the time to stalk out the films where you hear s#it like "Such and Such is a GREAT film, but borrows heavily from 'Blah' and 'Blah de Blah'..." You know what I mean. Tarantino is shamelessly honest about it. Lucas is famously known for it. And this reinforces my old man's assertion that there are "No New Original Ideas In Hollywood". (An idea I don't really share, but I like bellowing his little idiom's from time to time)

Having seen both "Bill" movies and knowing the background/where he bogarted the ideas- you'd think I'd have seen some of the original source material that have been cited by the filmmaker previously. No so. As a matter of fact, my knowledge of old chop sockey Kung Fu and Samurai Films is fairly incomplete. And for good reason. Sure, I've seen quite a few: (My friend AL and I talked about how USA Network had their version of "Kung Fu Theater"- Which replaced the Horror Film block of time "Groovy Movies".) and I've seen every Bruce Lee and most early Jackie Chan...as well as their knock-offs. (In addition to some bloody, bloody Samurai films)

What I can say is that I've never went through the entire Shaw or Kurosawa filmography and haven't felt too terrible for having missed them. They all tend to blend homogenously together in my mind and in spite of popular cult followings, I wouldn't be able to tell one from another if I was paid to.

That said, I added "36th Chamber" and "Lone Wolf" after poking through a wiki article about "Kill Bill" and finally got around to watching them. As a back to back to back piece, it actually lends itself to an entertaining afternoon/evening of cinema. Truth.

"36th" (Gordon Liu's debut) is your typical "dude gets his village impinged on, goes to the kung fu temple to learn, learns, becomes the best, goes back to his village and kicks ass" kind of film that we've all seen before- With the exception that it was actually one of the first to use the formula. There are some awesome "HOOO BOY HELL YEAH" moments in it, specifically during his training through the chambers. HOWever, my own hubris was that subsequent movies that copy the formula have done it a lot better. The kung fu is painfully slow, the bloodletting is obnoxiously bright, and the repetitive nature can get a little boring. (There's only so many times you can watch someone try to run across logs to cross a body of water- then fall in- before it gets old)

That's not to say it's a bad movie. Rather silly if you think about it. (And probably better after a couple of shots or beers.) What IS interesting is seeing exactly HOW shameless QT was in stealing some of the cooler parts of "KB I & II" with their embryonic counterpart in "36th". (The training montage with Pei Mei, carrying the water, the 1-inch punch and body conditioning etc? All there.)

"Lone Wolf" (based on the Manga series of the same name) tells the story of a Shogunate executioner who was framed for a crime he didn't commit and, having been stripped of his post, goes wandering the countryside with his 3-year-old son Daigoro as an assassin for hire in order to reclaim vengeance on those who wronged them.

Okay, so it's a bit more complicated than that plot-wise. What you do get is about 85 minutes of tense action and some of the most unbelievably amazing sword fighting and displays of Japanese weaponry committed to film. The actor playing Lone Wolf/Itto barely registers an emotion for the entire film, only occasionally showing happy/sad (he usually wears a constipated grimace) and when he is finally goaded to action (either by circumstances or his own machinations) it is worth the time holding your breath leading up to it.

My only major gripes is that you can tell that it was part of a larger story ("Sword of Vengeance" is only one in a roughly 6 part film series) and my DVD had some sound/coloring issues. Worth noting are some of the special features which feature a preview for "Zatoichi the Outlaw"...by far the funniest 5 minute trailer that you've ever seen.) When you watch the sword work in "Lone Wolf", re-watch "KB: I" for the House of Blue Leaves fight or "KB: II" for the trailer fight scene. You'll get it. You'll get deja vu all over again.

So if you have an afternoon and evening to kill, you could do far worse than watching this film quadrology with friends.

2012 Fitness Regime!

Righto! Fourth-a, Fourth-a, Fourth-a January and it's about time to come clean with the new regime! I mentioned that I was going to try a few new things to shake up my aging carcass in terms of health/wellness and new things it shall be. (It's here that I feel it encumbent to point out that one of the many reasons I don't make the typical resolutions is that I feel fairly okay with the fact that I have exercised and ate right for the last several years. That's not a bragging point, mind. Clearly it's not turned me into an Adonis or challenged me in the way my running workouts have, you know?)

Anyway, we're breaking things down anew this year and as I pointed out earlier I've got a whole new bag of old-cheap moves to try out on myself in 2012. And it starts with chucking the current routine and embarking on something a little more ambitious than I've been accustomed to but hopefully (after a 1-2 month attempt) may start to prove results. And it actually starts by keeping the weight routine pretty simple by attacking the body 1 piece at a time.

(Routine bogarted from the December 2011 Muscle and Fitness)

The weight routine works similarly to a circuit routine, minus hitting all body parts during the same workout. For my part, I've been engaging in moderate (in both frequency and intensity) "super-sets" for the better part of the last 6-7 months. From a time-saving standpoint, it isn't really a bad workout and moreover it's great for being able to tax two contrasting muscle groups that work opposite each other for maximum affect. Problem is? I'm a little stuck right now.

So, the new work-out will be incorporating tenets of both bodybuilding and sports/strength-training by following a "6 on-1 off approach". (Focusing on working one body part, once a day, six-days in a row. The LEGS get special attention* with one light and lastly one heavy workout day before your final day of rest.) This goes on for 3-4 weeks before a rest week and the resuming. If I'm not feeling peachy or I don't look dead-nasty sexy with my clothes off (or have dropped 10-15 consistent pounds. I'll take either) Then I'll shuck it and look into a new routine. I might even try throwing in the occasional "century"** workout too.

In short:
Sun- Arms (Bicep/Tricep/Forearm)
Mon- Off
Tues- Legs (light)
Wed- Moobs (Chest)
Thurs- Back
Fri- Shoulders
Sats- Legs (heavy)***

Ambitious? Yes! However I've a bit of free time for the next...for a bit, and if I can continue this sans distraction I'm hoping for some palpable results. (Also, I'll be able to take my time with the equipment. Supersets are great, but as soon as you get your ass off a bench to go switch exercises SOMEone will be bound to swoop in your place. And hey! The time saved will be about the same since I'm focusing on one body part versus two.)

But...but Michael?!?! Where's all the RUN-ning bulls#it you've been boring us with?!?! Funny that- I'm in the middle of my 3rd draft of an article to submit to "RW" magazine on my own journey (and the help I've received from friends) of becoming someone who enjoys distance running. Does that mean I'm done racing? Mmmmmnahh. I'm still on the fence whether I'm planning on entertaining thoughts of Grandma's Glory (I'm pretty sure I'd be crew-less. Not a big deal, but I don't know if running w/o moral support from buddies so far away from my home base is something I'm ready for)

Anyway, for the 1st quarter of 2012 I plan on dialing it back a bit. I'm getting new kicks to break in, but I don't plan (really) doing any runs in excess of 6 miles - at the longest- and possibly doing the 5 weeks on- 1 week off (or reduced mileage to 20-30% of my "normal" miles---which has been floating around 20-30 miles a week. Weird.) Anyway, I'll still be logging my mileage on Dailymile and Mapmyrun. LOOK OUT! Chugga-Chugga-Chugga. One of the bigger things is I plan on dragging my ass outside to start finding new and wonderful places- in state and out- to go hike/run. I think 2011 was criminally under-hiked. There, I said it. Ground must be pounded.

My martial goals are fairly simple: Black belt. Nearly 15 years at it means no excuses, and my biggest motivator right now is "Don't beat yourself up (snerk) if you miss one night. Just go consistently- weekly- and build up your skills, strength, and abilities until you get it." Easy, huh? I started in Mid-to-Early November and gave myself a (loose) 1-Year goal. I started once a week, bumping up to twice a week. I've ordered new sparring shoes and a bo, and have already sewn and re-sewn repairs on my uniforms. When my gear arrives, I fight. Easy. I might even toss a tourney or two in there. Might. Again, nothing more ambitious with karate besides my immediate 12-month plan.

As for food, I'm keeping it the same: Light meals, mostly vegetarian. Lots of vegetables, fruits, brown rice, quinoa. Work lunches are going to still be spinach salad w/legumes and a hearty light soup. I've taken to keeping nuts and low-fat cheese around the house to keep the edge off if I get peckish. I'm still drinking 1.5 gallons of water a day and I have NO intention of giving up my 2-3 cups of coffee. So there.


That's it. No pictures to be posted, before or after. I WILL try to be more diligent with the statuses and I'll let y'all know how it goes!

*I've tried to synch up my leg workouts to coincide w/karate. It's a great warm up and with a few near-miss classes that felt like I snapped my hamstring, I found out later that getting on the machinery has helped get some of my flexibility (and speed) back. On leg days, I'll also be choosing a different aerobic post-weight workout like the bike or elliptical.

**I tried this with my last chest/back super-set before New Years...and wow. Try doing 1 resistance exercise per body part (2 if you're into masochism) and do 1 set for 100 reps. Yup. Light enough that you can count to 100 doing bench presses, squats, bicep curls, crunches...name it. I could barely lift my arms. Good as a once and a while deal.

***As my high school conditioning coach would say to me: MIKE! DO YER SQUATS!!! If you aren't doing open squats...even on a Smith Machine- do it. Best damn exercise to get better at IMO. More so than the hack sled, nautilus , inverted squat rack...you name it.

"Best of 2011 Lis...Wait"

I just frassed through the last few January's since I started this dumb blog and most of my previous New Year scribblings have been personal reviews. B#tching about being drunk or my weight or blah blah blah...For that, I'm sorry. Really, truly. And as a guy that doesn't make resolutions that much any more, that'll be one of the last times I attempt to be an apologist. As a definition of character as I creep up on my 4th decade, I kind of think I just need to get back to nutting up and shutting up and standing by certain convictions. Prevent myself from seeming wimby wimby on matters. So my desire for 2012, if not resolve, is to spend some time digging deep into my character to see if there are areas of growth that I can learn from and hopefully make me calmer hanging out in my own skin. (I do that a lot. And by "skin" I mean "head". And we all know that my head space is a very, very messy place to kick it.


2011, for what it's worth...felt like a really strange fever dream. Like how your eyes feel after having been in a pool for hours. Or the feeling you think treading water in an ocean must be like after the Indianapolis has sunk and right before the PBY picks you out of the water- It sucks, but at least you didn't get eaten by a shark. Nothing really, really bad happened this year to frass about on a personal level. I can tell you all as subjectively and honestly as I can that 2011 just really wasn't my favorite year. Or rather, it wasn't until the last few months or so that I really started to feel something of a shift in the world that was palpable and controllable. And that gave me a smidgen of comfort.


I'm starting off 2012 by listing a few of my favorite things from 2011 in addition to some things that warranted our either our disdain/disgust/wrath or our accolades and attention. For those that know me...some of these topics will wind up being about as political as I ever tend to get- and even my politicking will be as bland and generic as ketchup. As always, if I didn't see your gig it doesn't mean it wasn't the best...I just don't see a f#ck ton of theater. I'm trying to change that a bit...BUT NO APOLOGIES!!!! NONE!


Ahem:



Personal Best's: I managed to run 3 half-mary's, two 10K's, (And PR every time). I moved to a vegetarian dominated diet. I didn't over-over spend for the year. I lost weight, avoided hard alcohol, picked up a really enjoyable (knock on wood) new job, performed in 3 shows (and met some great new people. AND did a musical...AND a well-attended Fringe Show.), saw my first Twins game in the new stadium, went camping at the same Kampground, kept up the garden and transformed the back forty into the start of something pretty, threw a quiet raging party, began a noble slumber on my tempurpedic bed, went to Vegas for work, grew an EPIC beard, started hitting karate regularly, had a great birthday, went to some amazing new restaurants, and did some home projects that went outside of my comfort zone. Oh, and I finally got myself a new phone. I stiiiiill love technology...



Ehhhhh...that sucks: I worked some s#itty...s#itty temp jobs that started to drag me down to a level of lip-biting anxiety that nearly bested me. I got mega-sized sick for the first time in 15 years and lost my voice- awesome when you're in a musical. Had some car kerfluffles/break-downs and needed new tires. I lost my driver's liscense in Vegas. I busted my central a/c playing with a roto-tiller forcing me to undergo a few unwanted expenses...and finished up late Fall/early Winter with some really soul-dislodging news.





People/Things in 2011 that warranted a big thumbs up:

The "Occupy" protestors. Lean whatever way you want to politically. Bitch about how they only had a few hardships to endure and it's nowhere NEAR how awful it is in other parts of the world...but: We, as a nation, can still make a lot of noise when we want to. And it was here, Minny. And it'll take a select few hermits who won't know the difference between the 1%/99%. That much was made clear. And good on those who did it.


My friends and family. I get that this is a blanket statement, but hear me out- My mom...who went outside of her own comfort zone to volunteer and keep volunteering at the theater. To taking charge of and actively working to pimp out her antiquities like a 21st century Marcus Brodey. My brother and his family- raising two of the most adorable and wickedly funny children. For surviving a corporate downsizing and move. And for continuing to be an example of responsibility, respect, and loyalty to the rest of us.



My extended family...we managed to get through '11 without any death's, thank the Gods. My uncle managed to survive his heart surgery. My aunt/uncle on the West Coast found newer (better) employment in sunny San Diego. My cousins remained focused and entreprenuerial.

My friends who had the babies. There were sooooo many babies. Like, 500 babies. And they'll probably all be good at sports. And great parents all...

My friends who found new, exciting, and challenging work.

My friends who (A) ran with me. There support and energy kept me moving forward. Who (B) ran either their first marathon (an amazing event, btw) or their first half- it was a year for friends to push themselves into something new. And lastly who (C) started to take up running/fitness routines to frame their own personal fitness goals: Whether it was for rehabilitative purposes, health, weight-loss...There were so many people on F'Book who started an affair with the treadmill and it just made my heart happy every time I would read their status.


My friends who moved/bought houses/bigger boats...


My friend AL who got himself a hairy stepson in the form of Deuce.



My roommate. After we talked about how he's staying for the immediate future, he has consistently proven to be a solid and stand-up man. You should meet him. Or at the very least, introduce him to any single lady-friends.

My neighborhood. I've hermited a lot in 2011, so it's nice NE Mipples has a metric f#ck ton of options regarding restaurants and things to do. Heidi's was my favorite surprise of 2011, but I'm still in love with my neighborhood after 7 years. M'wah.

As an actron/power nerd I'd be so very, very remiss if I didn't say Craiggles and Anna getting their Ivey dues, the fantastic productions of "August: Osage County" at Park Square and "Street Scene" w/Girl Friday...man. I saw some beautiful intimate shows/performances (and some amazingly fun/smiley confections ala' "Mercy Watson" and "Hairspray") but the ensemble work moved these productions into a higher pantheon of shows I'll be digesting and talking about for a while. Shows and performances that make me want to be a better actor myself. Yeah.

The casts of "Joseph", "12 Angry", and "Knit et.al"...well I think I lucked out. I really really did. And had a great time during every show.



And for my final note: Thank you, movie studios. Thank you for putting out the kind of nerdy, fantastic fare that we've been waiting for and heaping it on. I'm talking to you, Marvel. Tell DC that "Batman" isn't their only property and that they should NEVER have cocked up "Green Lantern" like they did. AVENGERS ASSEMBLE!!!

People who should be taken down a notch from 2011: Politicians. Just. Ohhhh...f#ck it. Here's the thing, and this is real and the truth- We elect people to make decisions for us, and preferably in our best interest. And...and they just sit their idly and have to shut down the fucking gov't just to make a decision? I really could give a shit on the details- people lost jobs. Work. Activities meant to stimulate local (seasonal) business were shut down. So here's a thought: Stay open. Work overtime. Because it's what the rest of us schlubs are forced to do. And usually the word "mandatory" comes before it. I'd hate to think we're impeding tee time.

And if, if I hear about how so and so raised $x million dollars on a campaign...I'm liable to slam my head in a door. I need that money too. More than you! I need a bathroom and garage! You want elected? Prove you can do something. Better yet, prove you can do it on a budget...like the rest of us. And fix my tub.


MN Sports teams. You whiney little grundles. Win some f#cking games for a change. Use the Lynx as your shining example if you need to. Ish, ish, ish...

F'Book. Stop changing every five minutes. You're infuriating. And terrible for we ADHD sufferers.

Bacon. Enough. Yuck. Same with Breakfast. "Most important meal of the day" my ass. You're giving a complex to lunch, second breakfast, and dinner.