Mom kept everything. After discarding old progress reports and report cards (I wasn't a very good student which is to say I was a B student. Neither ambitious nor impressive, most of my feed back from nursery school to 11th grade was similar. "Could listen better". "Needs to check work". "Energetic". "Participates".
What I remember most about this collection was that 4th grade was when writing, particularly creative writing and poetry that was structured ("Start with the phrase 'I am' and give us 5-10 descriptors" or "Tell a story from the point of view if you were an animal". Or my favorite "What is a quality you don't like in a family or friend?" Which is the impetus behind "The Liar" below. Hilarious since it's been 35 years but I sure didn't listen to my own advice there.)
35 years. I remember the panther bit was partly because I did a book report on them the year before (*right before we had a field trip to the MN Zoo. ) party because I was a HUGE fan of the TV show "Manimal". I obvs loved (and still love) Spidey, Dr. Who, and remember "inventing" the superhero "Starside" which, like all good make-believe non-comic heroes is basically an amalgamation of the Justice League...(He had a black cape, white shirt, and blue tights. I dressed like "Starside" that Halloween since mom wouldn't let me make my own Ghostbuster outfit. Speaking of...)
Matt S was my BFF from grade 4 through about 7. Sleepovers, Dr. Who, drawing, comics, toys...we sort of liked it all. Junior high saw the divergence of friend groups and I ended up palling with another neighborhood kid who was also in band with me- the one who was the friend who dared you to do dumb shit, talked shit about girls, owned some of the earliest hip hop albums we'd listen to, and had an older sister I fell in love with. The crossover was that Matt started getting into Skate culture and made his own board, we watched the movies, read the skater magazines, so I was learning about Tony Hawk et.al. before it was cool. Literally. The only board I had was one from Target that was crap, but whaddya do. I met up with him again early in my college career and he eschewed regular education to bury himself in computers and he did. I've never seen anyone type so fast and have such a huge home set up, way back in 1994. I hope he's well.
Anyway, I can also say I miss this kids bluster and make-believe lack of self-awareness. He probably comes across as thinking highly of himself ("Gifted and Cluster is "Gifted and Talented" so we were learning concept stuff, inventions, playing with Rube Goldberg devices. Truth is I hated it and tried playing sick to get out of it. I always felt stupid like I never "got" the ideas before the other kids. I only later realized I was in it because of my weird brain but I literally held a thermometer up to a light bulb to get out of Tuesday G and T class.)
I took the liberty of transcribing these. Mistakes are all 10 year old me. I hope you find them comical and find some funny during these really dark times. My teacher-teacher was Mr. Pheil. He taught us the recorder. Mrs. D-L was the other teacher. She was Jewish, and made a point to educate us on the customs- so we learned to sing "Hava Nagila", tried matzo ball soup, and told us about the holidays. (Happy New Year, my chosen friends!) And when we had a field trip/camp cook out, we all had to bring a can of bean with bacon soup to add to the pot while she quietly sat on her ground mat (we all made them) and had salad in a glass Tupperware bowl.
My name is Mike Postle. I live in a very big house. My best friend is Matt S. My favorite foods are pizza, hamburgers, and steak. My favorite subject in school is reading. My favorite super-hero is Spider-Man. This winter or summer I am going to make a movie called “Ghostbusters II”. A separate class I go to is Gifted and Cluster. I have a very high intellect. My brain rank is number 1 and I have a very happy life.
I felt my body shrinking, shrinking…
I got as small as an action figure before it stopped. My pet ferret went chasing me all over the place. Well…this is hard. OK to have my fun. I decided that I would play on my action figure set up. Well it was fun but all of a sudden I became large again and I broke my action figure set up.
If I was a Super Hero: If I was a Super Hero, then I could fly like a bird. I would be very cool. I would be called “Starside”. I would save the world. I would be charming. I would always be on duty. I could climb walls. I could shoot electric bolts. I would be the strongest super-hero in the universe. I would be loved by millions.
The Liar
A liar is like a fly with the wings of Satin (I meant Satan)
A LIE IS WRONG!
A liar is a person senseless without truth.
A LIE IS WRONG!
A liear is a child taking a cookie from the cookie jar.
A LIE IS WRONG!
A liar is an enthusiastic person that loves to say “not me”
A LIE IS WRONG!
A liar can sense the truth coming so he hides.
A LIE IS WRONG!
A liar can be found in a crowd of truthful people because he lies so much.
A LIE IS WRONG!
A liar is only a liar when does something wrong.
A LIE IS WRONG!
A liar can only be cured by the truthfulness of God.
That liar shall be cured.
Best fuckin' Time Lord ever, man...
My Autobiography: I was born December 25th, 1974 In Minneapolis. My parents are Pat and Michael Postle, and my 13-year-old brother is Steve. I am now 10 years old and my name is _______ I live in Brooklyn Park, 6324 70th Ave North. My favorites are Matt S, pizza, T.V., Spider-Man, Cheeseburgers, my family, Billy Joel, Doctor Who, South Dakota, soccer, hockey, baseball, and basketball. I hope to be a detective or world peace maker.
If I was a panther: If I was a panther, then…I would be agile, I would be keen, I would be graceful, I would be beautiful, I would eat a lot, I would track things down, I would be cunning, I would grumble, I would growl, I would be black, It would be great.
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