Fitness Fads

So as I was frassin' to buddies at my friend Shinobi-Wan's going away party last weekend (ps. Be safe, friend. I mean it) I was talkin to Key-Sung, Matty-Boom Boom and anyone else within earshot (The house) That it was my goal to lose some Ell Bee Esses before the Fringe show this summer. It comes as no shock that I've put on 15 plus pounds since my early '06 blues, and also subsequent s#it weather, losing my "Y" membership, and a busy '07 have put a MAJOR damper in my fitness goals.

No longer.

The new membership is great, and I'm hitting the gym anywhere's from 3-5 days a week depending. Thing is, since I'm older I've had to re-think my routine. For example...

Before, the high intensity/short period weight sessions interspersed with moderate cardio meant keeping the weight down. What I've discovered is that even with a healthy lo-cal diet, I start to bulk up. Meaning, my back/chest/arms/shoulders start to get mass while the rest of me turns into Vince Vaughn after a bender. Boo for aging.

So, I'm tweaking. And I've probably lost around 5 pounds while I experiment. What it HAS got me doing, is reminiscing about the days when Ma and I tried nearly every health supplement in GNC when I was younger as well as equipment. More specifically, bulls#it equipment. More specifically, the Red Flyer wagon wheel with handles that was in my basement which purported to "build abs", the three elastic-y springs with handles guaranteed to "broaden your chest" and the mini-trampoline which...I don't know. Those bastards, even their larger cousins, are death machines. F#ck, we just tried using it to dunk basketballs. And what happened to me was that even though I thought it was beautifully positioned 'neath our basketball hoop didn't do the trick. And my dreams of "Being Like Mike" were squashed as the stupid thing stayed in place about as well as if I tried jumping on a skateboard positioned over banana peels...on a bed of used motor oil.

So it is with great pleasure, that Cracked.com has acknowledged this as well. And hopefully debunks some exercise myths that my fellow exercise enthusiasts can benefit from. Now if you'll excuse me, I have a 15 year high school reunion to skinny-up for.

http://www.cracked.com/article_16104_sticks-stools-7-random-objects-sold-as-exercise-machines.html