Food Reviews

Ahem-

Progresso's low sodium/carb/health-consious Southwestern Spicy soup. 150 calories. Okay. Definitely brothy. Not a hearty meal to be sure, but a little extra water/tomatoes/spinach/spices ups the flavor sensation.

Ahem squared-

I'm busting a$$ to get to rehearsal (I worked until 6pm) and since I didn't pack a dinner I had to make an executive decision to stop for frassed food. There was nothing, like but nothing in terms of old stand by drive through's where I could hazard a healthy sammich so when I get off I spy a Har to the Dizz-Ee's in the distance. I think "F#ck, man...I haven't been to one of these places in forever. Like, all I remember was Frisco Melt's back when I ate the filthy bastards." My second thought was "F#ck, man...I've got to be at rehearsal in 5 minutes, please let there not be a line") The pickings were remarkably slim, and judging by the grilled chicken choices and the lack of a "Your way, right away" slogan I figured I'd-a need to make due with the lesser of two evils. So, it is here that I introduce you to the "Hawaiian Teryaki Grilled Chicken Sandwich" boasting a pineapple (Oooookay. I see cheese, but figure that it can be peeled off with relative ease.)

Wrong.

I fumble and park, pulling my purchase out and resigning the fact that I'd be about 3 minutes late but if I didn't get dinner I'd be a crabby petunia. I open the box (Still looks promising) lift the bun off annnnnnd: F#ck. This thing has at least a gallon of mayo on it. And is that cheese? It looks like white foam core!?!? And low and behold...one napkin.

I begin the salvage project immediately, hands shaking from hunger/anger/nerves as I quickly wipe the bun when the chicken shifts and...what's this? ANOTHER slathering of mayo and cheese. Flip, Lather, and repeat. Only this time my hands are covered in goo. I manage to use some kleenex in the back (Not a sturdy subsitute) and scarf my sandwich before rehearsal. When the night was all said and done, my car reeked of mayo/dead sammich.

So I'd like to give a hearty Caesarian "Thumb's Down" to their sammich. My steering column is giving me the "phantom ick's" just by touching it. Grrrrr.