The I.V's

Yup. That pretty much sums it up. And when the post-gala is charging actor's (read: Fixed income) $9 a glass of wine? Reminds me of why we packed our flasks in the first place. Here's to sticking it to the man. A synopsis:


-I cut my chin shaving. No biggie, but I bled like a sieve for an hour.

I started sweating immediately after showering. And proceeded to sweat for the duration of the night. And not "Oh pretty I'm glowing" sweat, but "No officer, I have no IDEA why there's a dead hooker in my trunk" sweating. Not pretty.

Pocketed Flask Full of Morgan's and picked up date, who looked very pretty.

We hit Great Dragon All you Can Eat Buffet for dinner in our classy duds. We. Are. Awesome.

And so is Great Dragon's Spicy Chicken and Broccoli. More sweat.

We BS'ed at Palomino w/X, Gramma, BWJ, and commenced people watching.

Joined the swell of folks trying to get tickets etc. My sweating, at this point, became unbearable and I started feeling like an unwashed heathen. And felt like Dorajar and I should have attached ourselves to each other with a piece of string.

Sat in the back and watched the show. Had to pee about three minutes in and basically sweat, squiggled, and squirmed through the show. I felt self conscious being flanked by people, so nips from my flask were far and few between. At least I wasn't lit by the time I got to the after-do like last year.

Ahem. HALLLLLLLENBEEEEECK!!! F#cking A this guy should get an award. Word.

BNW performer is a new super secret girlfriend, as is the girl who did the snippet from "Fat Pig". She was very sweet when we were introduced post-show.

I decided I don't "get" the IV's.

We started laughing, audibly, when X sent her a text during one guest performer's rendition of "Hopelessly devoted to you"- (paraphrased) "Don't the b#tch know another song?!?!"

We bolted right before the "Lifetime Afrassment" Award was handed out. It was funny because we shared the same glance and when people started to clap and stand, that was our cue.
Finally...toilet time. Mop sweat. Remove jacket. Dab big red dot in the center of my chin. Gross.
I get a really good look at me and resign myself to looking like an overdress tool. I shoulda went with a kilt too. At least then I'da had a breeze to keep me cool.

Get offered a pick-up drink by the pretty people by the trough in the lobby. Empty half outside, pour some of my flask in there. Subtle...buddy. Reeeeeeally subtle. It tasted like diluted a$$.

After party-

The Schloss is our hook up. Cheap tonic for Dorajar and her flask. Cheap Diet Coke for Mikey.


I told SSGF #2 and former IV winner that I loved her. She told me she knew. How Han Solo.

Got a big hug from Shelbs. Love.

Quite a few fakey run-in's. (That one dude? He's 40, right? Why does he look perpetually 25 years old? The man hasn't aged in 15 years! That's IT! He's a f#cking vampire.)

One ex siting. ( We kept our distance)

We took funny pictures in a photo booth. (See above

Lot's of pretty people. One pretty and naughty Feej. Shame shame I know your name. ; )

I chastised Beau Geste for giving away all his acting tips on the C'board. He said "Do I know you?!?!?"

I told the Penub-nub artistic director that it's not all glamour. He said "Do I know you?"

That's it.