I tried taking a nap on Monday, and I woke up to the weirdest sensation: My cat was chewing on my elbow. Not quite painful, or even malicious. More like he was...tenderizing me.
Which is why, I'm quite convinced of two things:
1) If I were to accidentally pass away at home (Heaven Forbid), I'm positive that the authorities would never find a trace of me. An empty shell of a Gap polo shirt and Jeans in the corner of the room, and a very, full, kitty trying to look all innocent. And attempting to hide his fat-ass under the bed.
2) This is also starting to firm up the belief that my cat tries to steal my soul at night by sucking out my breath. Sure, when I wake up he is playfully licking my nostrils....but I know. Oh yes, I knoooooow.
2 comments:
Gee, and my cat only takes that nightly shit in my mouth. Well, at least I am blaming that not so fresh feeling on her.
"Not so fresh feeling?" I thought you said she does her business in your mouth? Or is that the wrong hygiene product I'm thinking of?
HEY OHHHH!!!!! He's foul, He is FOUL-ah!
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