11 weeks, 77 days since a Black Minneapolis resident was murdered by Minneapolis Police Officers while being recorded. As of today, it has been 150 days since Breonna Taylor was murdered in her Louisville home due to a no-knock warrant being mistakenly carried out on her home. She was an EMT.
News regarding that second part: Louisville police have taken to restricting protests. See, the cops who murdered Breonna Taylor have not been arrested by their own police department in spite of a Federal investigation having been opened. And I guess, after five months they're tired of the protests because what are ya gonna do? Beat them all until they go home, apparently.
I wanted to double back quick with some helpful nuggets of wisdom for people who are coming around on the idea that systemic racism/oppression is a real problem that has enjoyed dusting itself off and parading around the last 4 years under a racist and oppressive enablist executive regime. Or maybe you're pushing past the point of saying "Racism is around and everywhere. BIPOC (I know the acronym and am comfortable using it!) people have a really shitty time with life in general. Yes, white people rode up here and killed ancestral American's and have decided to continue my education past the crickets which ultimately follow that statement." (Seriously. Again, European's showed up and everything went to shit for native american's and if it's brought up the response is usually a "Yeahhh...yeah." (stares off into distance, waits to talk about *anything* else)
I've had some of these as my default setting going back to when I was a kid, and even though it's taken 40 odd years until I was helped to understand and (finally) acknowledge (my privilege) that my lens is never going to be the same as the BIPOC community, and the following terms should be dropped from my vocabulary:
*Note- maybe you don't see anything wrong with any of these terms, but listen to when other people say it after hearing me ask you nicely and offering some explanation as to why. Also, much like dropping certain violent and harmful racial epithets from our vocabulary that were laced in there after 100's of years of conditioning and being told they were "naughty words", it can seem harder still to unshackle yourself from some of the more harmless ideas, too.
"All lives matter" (They do. But we're talking about the Black one's now. There've been 100's of examples, memes, op-ed pieces. This phrase needs to be done away with. Black people wanna talk about Black people's experiences with violence and oppression at the hand's of law enforcement and you want to take that away? How many fucking other opportunities are you going to try and co-opt for your own benefit so they can't talk any more? It's fuck all rude, yo. And it's disrespectful, discourteous, and to say it to a BIPOC person is not saying you care about all lives, but you don't care about there's. Don't believe me? Why do so many people argue with you, then? For funsies? The worst I'd ever heard from someone is that they "don't see it". Fuck that guy, too*.)
"I don't see color" (Yes you do. This is a big fib, Super privileged, and means you're deciding to turn away from BIPOC issues and problems. You have a messy room and are shutting the door when company arrives. You're all dressed up with a dirty neck. Also...because of this next one)
"I have lot's of Black [friends, neighbors, co-workers]"
(Hey, look, I'm writing this- if you haven't guessed- with the fact that you're a white person in mind. I'll go big with this idea first- it doesn't matter at all even if you have spent your life avoiding white people to surround yourself with a diverse crew which...again- bully for you. Even as a statement of fact it dismisses your own culpability in systemic racism by the company you keep when you are not a person of color. BIPOC people you may associate with are not a hall pass to wokeness or somehow make you more in tune with the oppression experienced daily by BIPOC people. And I hear this, a lot, but the "I was talking to our black neighbor and they want cops and don't agree with the destruction of property!"
Let me try and unpack that a little, too, because it kind of weirds me out now that I'm typing it and I had to re-examine that Vox article from a few weeks ago in addition to that Strib article about how Minneapolis is chicken shitting out of defunding law enforcement: 1st up, the Black community (and Latinx, Hmong, et.al.) is made up of...hard idea...ready? More than your neighbor. More than that one Facebook friend. More than your old friend you can bitch about sports or you grew up with rapping all the lyrics to "911 is a Joke" or who you talked sci-fi and cartoons with. The diversity of ages, incomes, backgrounds, experiences with law enforcement all factor in when discussing and being open and comfortable discussing race and accepting -as a white person- you won't ever understand THEIR experience...even if a comment/or conversation aligns with yours.
I get it. We all want to be Jake Brigance in "A Time To Kill" who takes Roark to his favorite crawfish restaurant and everyone knows him and he knows everyone and she calls him on his bullshit faux-wokeness in a white-savior heavy movie. There are people who are deathly afraid of cops and deathly afraid of not having cops and who (a majority of those polled) agree that none-of-them have had good experiences in their interaction with police and *some* thing needs to change.
"What about (Insert minority) cops?" (The issue is the *system* is damaged, the *system* and structure of law enforcement is *rooted* in racism and oppression. It doesn't matter if Officer Mother Theresa Ghandi pulls you over while the halo blinds you and an angelic chorus of angels sing from the squad that pulled you over- They are working for a system that's racist. It's not a good cop/bad cop. It's a virus- and much like polling people who live in predominately black neighborhoods as to what their relationship is with police versus your neighbor who lives 3 houses down in Wayzata- different personalities and backgrounds and temperments affect the individual officers ability to do their job- and part of following the rules of the club is you abide by the racism and eat it every day you put on your uniform.
"I think what those cops did was wrong, but I don't agree with the destruction of property" (People disagree and put up huge stinks after the last 6-7 BIPOC community members were murdered by police and staged protests on Freeways and an additional 4-7 BIPOC community members were murdered since then.
I have tried, several times, to make white people understand who are angrily opposed to the idea of there being *any* problem whatsoever and they are just VIOLENT THUGS RIOTING...all, really, mostly untrue. See the Auto Zone asshole articles if you need punching holes in that train of thought. Also, can we take five and breath and look at dog whistle terms, or is that a next week lesson? Newspapers and Fox LOVE the fuck out of calling protestor's rioters and saying that someone throwing a Dasani bottle is justification for blinding or crippling them. It's so goddamn stupid people repeat that because news rags love their click bait sounding leads.
Look, my story is dumb. I was saving myself $1000 after having brand new cabinets installed on my brand new money pit 15 years ago. I had the hardware, I had some booze in my belly, it was a beautiful day and the windows were open, and the powerful drill plugged in and ready to make cabinet handle magic. I managed to get to holes prepped for the knob and when I grabbed the cabinet door to open it and make sure I wasn't punched through to damage my $15, 000 custom maple glazed cabinets with crown molding from *box store*...I froze. It didn't open. And because the hinges were custom (and hidden) I didn't realize that I was drilling on the wrong fucking side. (Gets me mad until this day)
There was this hot.cold wave that started in my stomach and got me almost light-headed. I was grinding my jaw so hard I thought my teeth would crack and I opened my mouth to scream FUCK at the top of my lungs and I did it so forcefully no sound came out. I saw red. I literally saw a red tint over everything and through the thudding of blood behind my ears, I could hear little kids outside screaming/laughing as the warm air blew in. I saw my wine glass in the sink and thought how much of a mess would I make if I just...threw the drill as hard as I could into the brand new sink..?
We patched the tiny holes with stand and putty and I've been here ever since. Unless I tell you about it, you probably wouldn't even notice. First world problems.
What I cannot imagine, for the life of me because it terrifies me, is having that kind of anger bubbling underneath my life every single day. Fear, anger, resentment, embarrassment. Just walking out the door. And then watch something like the George Floyd video and it just opens you up and lays you bare? And you want to sit comfortably as *one person* complaining about the destruction of shops and subsequent clean up? (During a pandemic)
Friend, that is privilege. And you should be grateful the entire country wasn't burned down 400 times over.
*Epilogue-
A few weeks back I tried to jokingly draw parallels for a mutual friend who did the "All Lives" argument on a friend who is also BIPOC. I mentioned it's not cool to do on a BIPOC persons wall, and made a joke about going to a kids birthday party and screaming "All birthday's matter yeeearggghh!" and grabbing the presents, about how as a white person you're not going to have cops called on you for just about anything under the sun if you're in the world existing (read: Being alive read read: Jesus fucking Christ how terrible does the oppression have to be before this sinks in?)
Anyway, dudepants dressed me down something fierce in a incomprehensible and nonsensical tirade that included his tax dollars and rude of me for implying they were racist and anyone gets by with hard work etc. I didn't bother responding since it was the next commentor saying THEY knew systemic racism was a hoax because THEY'VE never seen it and THEY are 1/38th mighty Choctaw or some shit and I was probably a lib snowflake who wouldn't respond. Honestly, I just didn't have the energy for Facebook.
This week I read a screen grab with another long tirade as to why Trump has supporters in the face of everything and unlike a lot of other thought pieces, this was distilled down to the barest of essences much like calling racism...racism. And basically it's hate. Hatred and sharing the hatred of liberals and people who are "weak". You want to help others? Weak. Wear a mask? Weakness. Think black people have it rough? Weak. And when weak ='s hate, that grips tighter and tighter to people who will share in the mutual animosity. It made me feel pretty hopeless.
To pivot again, and to out some of my martial arts family, the aforementioned conversation was with those folks and while karate people can be frustratingly not aligned with my own feelings on advocacy and I don't blab about it during class- I always felt it was a welcoming diverse family. And then I remembered about weakness and hate.
I fought that dude, a lot. Helped 'em get a black belt and everything. And even though they were the knob sharing offensive memes after school shootings, as the senior belt and experienced person I fight with a considerable amount of restraint. (How else do you learn? And being super angry-mean while sparring never works because you will get your own ass kicked and humiliated. Seriously, it's not hard to figure out. Teach teach teach) Anyway, home boy got pretty full of himself and after that belt turned black started getting a bit...aggressive. Suddenly point hits and kicks had some mustard on them and would be, say, "after the bell". So I tattooed him.
I rarely get to toot my own horn and feel all manly and macho, and my bigger martial arts accomplishments have been teaching/tutoring kids than at a tournament...but I'll never forget this asshole stepping back and muttering under his breath "I guess we're compensating for something". Meaning me. And isn't it just the way, I actually felt bad. I *am* strong. I *can* kick and punch hard. I *can* take a licking and keep moving forward. (With all the bangs and owies that come with it.) And I actually felt like I lost control. For this guy. This gun toting racist guy who doesn't see racism and thinks everyone gets a fair trade every day because *he* worked his way up the ladder becoming a tradesperson.
Anyway, namaste. Hope we learned something. Be safe when you vote.
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