Week 14- Keep moving forward, always.

 May to June.  June to July.  July to August.  In the 14 weeks since George Floyd was murdered by sworn members of the Minneapolis Police Department and the sickness and unrest which has permeated our nation unlike we've seen in 40 years,  but which has been present for 400...we have seen little change.  14 weeks since we started watching the privileged ebb and flow with their advocacy.  After hearing names like Ahmaud Arbery, Breonna Taylor, and reminding people of the names Trayvon Martin, Philando Castile, even going back to Emmitt Till...all fallen at the hands of oppression, of racism, of the police.

Just over a week since the violent shooting of an unarmed black man, Jacob Blake (are you starting to get more frustrated?  The list of names keeps horribly growing. ) more violence, more denouncements, and finally we get what we imagined *could* happen but helplessly learned *did* happen.  Just before midnight barely a week ago-  A seventeen year old kid hopped state lines clutching a rifle and thought himself a patriot before ending the night a murderer of two young men.  

I want you to think about that.  I feel like I can think of little else with how absolutely terrifying this Summer has felt.  A high school kid.  I want you to think about what fed that kid's mind into thinking what they were doing was patriotic, heroic, or justifiable.   When *I* was 17, people would have blamed video games (kind of.  The graphics really sucked, even for SNES.) or music.  (Which, was really more of an indictment of the shit we're going through right the natural fuck now.  Stories by BIPOC voices which scared Caucasian's into the terrifying need to stifle artistic black voices)  

Someone gave that fucking child the okay to do what he did.  And there are some terrible, terrifying people who don't think "Kid, you're in a lot of fucking trouble right now"...some of those were the cops who ignored the kid with the rifle running down the street or gave him water.  Some of those are white racist people who think they got what they deserved.  Or maybe even the absolute fuck head dicknose police chief who advocates violence as a means of enforcing curfew.  

And one of those people is the President of the United States.  Friends...

 There are 74 days as of today until election day.  Today I'm not feeling the grace I should, and wanted to let you know that I do care about who you vote for and, today, hope I can change your mind.  I don't care if you supported Senator Sanders and are still angry and feeling the need to really come to grips with it.  I don't care.  I don't.  I 100% don't.  I think you have a lot of absolute privilege to be able to stew over something like that, and if you can't shake free the yoke of your obsession and disappointment, well apparently you have better meds than I do because we have lived through FOUR FUCKING YEARS OF "NOT NORMAL".

We weren't going to normalize this shit.  We weren't supposed to.  And I am doneski and hutch with living in the past of what's the worst that can happen when the worst happens every day.  And literally, if you are a white living human of voting age who has not sucked the single-issue teats I read about conservative voters clutching to like an imaginary winning lottery ticket that's actually an expired Cracker Barrel coupon...you have zero fucking reason to *not* excise yourself from the tumor which has, besides ALL of the OTHER AWFUL SHIT has now given a high fucking five to a murderer.

I don't care.  You're letting this shit get out of hand and it would only get immensely worst- so don't be a shit who can't find it in your widdle hear and just...help us.  Help us bail the fucking water out.  At least get us to the shallows where we can touch with our tippy toes.  We'll still have a TON of fucking work to do.  But at least it won't be with a sadistic racist having a laugh at the expense of Black Lives and innocent lives.

Lastly-  This page could/has been once a place I could geek out and be myself.  While I still can and do from time to time, the loss of Chadwick Boseman has affected our family in a way that cannot be measured.  Would we/were we in any other time, I would go on about the importance of representation in cinema, even genre cinema- talking about misfires ("Spawn") and THE TRUE MOTHERFUCKING PROGENITOR of the MCU- "Blade" (1998.  Matrix, whatever, you name it....Owes a debt to "Blade")

I'd go on to talk about an actor who was older than I thought, who had a smaller career than most (even those some of us may remember who were much younger who we lost in the arts and music)...I would talk about the films I've seen, how he was a choice and a fierce presence before I'd invariably lose myself in geekery talking about "BP", the relation to the who MCU, the casting search, the appearance in "Civil War" (IRONIC TITLE!)  which...would have been amazing.  He, as an actor, won a lottery getting into the Marvel world.  He'd have been cast and filmed in 2015- before he'd have been diagnosed with cancer.  And yet he kept going and he kept it secret.  A dignity, and integrity...so that he could continue working and creating, to speak to people, to advocate...he worked with a handicap.  He did it all while being eaten from the inside.  And none of us knew.  

It's not an industry that lends itself to secrecy all that often, especially when stars ANNOUNCE things and want SUPPORT.  Boseman kept moving forward until the end.  Like a hero and a king.  An example of strength, power, and fortitude young people of color could look up to.  It's a shock and with untold sadness we lost him so soon.  And to leave you on a different note, I feel like the Wakanda Forever salute has sort of become ingrained so we all (Panther fans, anyway) know what it means.  I realized I took for granted the action as "just something really amazing and detailed" the creators came up with.  So I did some pocket research and, after re-watching it last night mentioned to my wife there's a strength and almost "hug-like" comfort to the action which, later, was cool to know I wasn't far off.

 

ACAB

 If you know a cop, are married to a cop, are related to a cop, or are otherwise generally cop-friendly:

This will likely be lost on you.  The sharp nature of the acronym leaves little room for your imagination to understand the violent background BIPOC have experienced at the hands of law enforcement, much less the few bad apples who have been out in full force over the last...well, it's seems we're averaging a considerable number of police-related violent civilian deaths of Black People being caught on camera so if you're starting to take notice, it's not because people like myself in my very mild social media advocacy position bring it to your attention every day.

My wife and I had an argument about this recently.  She staunchly sits on the side of understanding that defunding the police is important, that a restructuring of law enforcement is necessary, and that Black Lives Matter.  The issue is:  When you know a cop or are cop-adjacent, and spend time with them, or are friends with them or they're your best friend's spouse:  The idea is likely similar to how people struggle to recognize systemic racism.  A lot of people.  Lots.

To help distill the issue- first up, they might very well be a bastard.  Signing up for law enforcement might give you a feeling of well-being that you are planning on a career of public service and assistance- however your presence, as you are reminded from the first day, is not always met with cheers and adoration.  White people can attest to the feeling when they're pulled over and a cop needs to face the gamut of responses- none of them "THANK GOD YOU NOTICED MY ROSARY WAS OBSTRUCTING MY VISION WHERE IT HANGS FROM MY REARVIEW MIRROR, OFFICER BABY JESUS IN A MANGER I LOVE YOU!"

Good people, good intentioned people, make up all sorts of facets of life and we see them at church, or volunteering for active duty, or erasing graffiti, or doing stand-up comedy, being parents and spouses and relatives.  

We also know being in the military means you have to kill people from time to time, and there can be considerable collateral damage.  Just ask drone operators.  We also know, from church going friends, that not all church-going people are charitable and open-minded.  Even though some of the people that have attended the same church- are.  Seeing where I'm heading yet?

Say you go to church and you marry into your spouses family and start to go to the church your spouse's family has gone (whatever...WELS?  Episcopalian?  Missouri Synod?)  and while you did all your church duties and whatever, the families at this new church- while very nice and pleasant- all sort of adhere to a fairly strict "One Boy, One Girl" view of marriage.  Now, you do musical theater and think that same sex marriage is just fucking marriage and you roll your eyes at the lawn signs the church sells the members and you periodically hear people (in hushed tones) make some comments about the same sex couple with the adopted Korean daughter who used to attend the church.  

But look, your new family LOVES this church and they've ALL got married there and really, it's not like they're sending them literature or anything, but (occasionally) they get a *little* heavy on God's unborn babies in heaven.

Anyway, some- like you, maybe?  Some congregants ain't like that.   They are *good* people.  And you love and support them and roll your eyes when you hear that bullshit in the "CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS SHIT?" kind of way...but y'all still go to church there and it's not like it's closing down.  

Anyway, there are people involved in law enforcement, retired from law enforcement, actively in law enforcement who are "good" people, aka "not bastard people".  Who probably condemn racism, condemn those actions, work for internal affairs and can recognize when poor policing and racist policing takes places.   Except, and here's the things:

1) They can quit.  If you say "well do you want them to just quit?!?!?", that's not the issue at hand here.  And yes, they can quit if they want to.  Because:

2) The foundations of the profession they have chosen have a woven, glued, stamped, tattooed, engrained base that has been formed from racism.  

Go back to number two.  Every time.  Don't put out Venn diagrams, it's not the people you're defending it's the work they are involved in that is *deeply* flawed.  *dangerously* flawed.  They are trained, take classes from, ride with, put on body armor for:  Racism.  

We're all home now, so we have time to examine a lot of this so unpack it now if you have time.  Those tanks, that kevlar, the anti-riot gear...have you ever stopped to wonder what kind of riots exactly our civilized society has been striving for that the police need to keep building up military grade protections year after year?   Look at Kenosha and Ferguson.  Two smallish Midwest cities that have some decently dangerous hardware for "control" purposes.  They gonna bring out the mace and rubber bullets when softball season rolls around and the VFW versus the Knight's of Columbus gets to extra innings and the liquor stores are closed?

Cops are trained to watch out for Black people.  Even in fucking no where smalltown where you live, if a car full of non-whites drives through?  That gets a cops attention, even if they *aren't doing anything wrong*.  Being black is enough for them to be suspects.  Every. Town. In. America.

It's not an either/or.  It's not a "I worry every day" because yes you do.  You worry for your partner/spouse/son/daughter to put on that badge and ...not really enforce the law, when you break it down- you're responding to situations or keeping your eyes out for (BIPOC people) who look suspicious. "THAT'S NOT TRUE!"

Really?

Really really?

 

In short:  Defunding the police means taking away the means that have been put in place and unquestioned for years- tanks, Hummers, full tactical Batman suits, and any new and improved intimidation technology does zero for deescalating and preventing crime.  Creating a force that can address the issues within a community to stem violence, treat mental illness, create outreach and education programs for youth and families-  and yes, family, still have people in squad cars and guns when needed.  The time to acknowledge the violent cornerstones of modern policework is right now, and understanding the sophistication and subtlety with which they've been accepted as mainstream and normalized.

 

 

Week 13 Monday, August 24th 2020.

cw/tw Violence

 

 13 weeks ago tonight, George Floyd was murdered by Minneapolis Police Department.  There was no heroic measure to their deeds, as the agonizing and violent act was captured in it's entirety by a witnesses cell phone.  Police knelt on his neck for nearly 9 minutes as he died.

Last night, August 23rd, Jacob Blake was shot 7 times in the back by a member of the Kenosha police department in front of his children.  This was also captured on video in gruesome and horrible detail, and Blake remains in critical condition, hospitalized.

I won't link to the video and I'm going to ask you to do your own work on researching this.  The case continues to develop and you will invariably hear differing details, witness statements, key testimony from officers at the scene.  I'd ask that you heed this warning when reviewing the story and how it has been presented.  This is courtesy of my friend Eric E from social media and I could not have stated it better: 

Every time another story about police violence comes out, pay attention to how the passive voice is deployed in coverage. Ask yourself why it’s always an “officer involved shooting” and “protesters damaged property last night” in the headlines but never “police shot a man seven times in the back in front of his children” and “property was damaged during a protest.”

In front of his little kids, like Philando Castile.  Kids getting murdered.  Innocent Nurses at home in bed.  A man out jogging. 

 

Police need defunded and dismantled.  Oppression continues and the sickening violence doesn't end, it just gets greater exposure.   I'm sick to death of it all.  

Week 12- Two Lessons

 George Floyd was murdered on Memorial Day, 2020, in South Minneapolis by members of the Minneapolis Police Department.  Minneapolis city (proper) is one mass, with outlying suburbs flowing into the West/Northwest/South part of the city.  North, South, Southwest, Southeast, Northeast are all city neighborhoods.  If you want a frustrating historical look at Redlining of neighborhoods, I may suggest checking out the TPT production of "Jim Crow of the North" to get your blood boiling as to how the city planners deliberately took aim to segregate the city.  Ergo, you may get misapplied commentary from those who do not live here as to whether a neighborhood is "good" or "bad".  And how badly can word of mouth affect a neighborhood in the city?  Pretty badly, actually.  I know people who wouldn't dream of coming into "the city".  

 

 

 

In North Carolina on August 9th, a boy named Cannon Hinnant was murdered by Darius Sessoms, Hinnant's neighbor.  There are no additional details that I've been able to unearth the motive, but Sessoms has been arrested and charged immediately with 1st degree murder.

That the latter isn't a horrifying crime, and it is.  The details are heartbreaking as they are senseless, but what has really came to light is the way the story has been presented.  Cannon's photo has been shown side-by-side with George Floyd's with a caption to the effect of "People have protested and destroyed property, but no one has mourned this poor boy who was murdered!!!!"  It will usually include Sessoms mug shot, and to make sure the public reading is aware-  including an unflattering photo, usually a mug shot taken after an arrest, is a dog whistle for racists that sends the message: 

Black = Bad

I had no idea about Cannon or his story.  Except that, like retired Saint Louis, MO captain David Dorn who was killed by people looting his friend's pawn shop, people have managed to gruesomely sensationalize their deaths in an attempt at driving home a point.  "This one random black guy's death was a tragedy, but the aftermath was destructive and violent and caused more harm than good!  Look at this poor kid!  I bet you won't share THIS image of retired Captain David Dorn!"

I didn't know about David Dorn either, until I saw a cousin share one of their friend's images of Dorn and Floyd with a similar caption.  I say gruesome and sensational because the images are meant to be shared and meant to be shared by like-minded people who tire of people like me saying "Black Lives Matter".  And here's where I define "FALSE EQUIVALENCE".

The only thing similar about Cannon and George is that they are both dead, and the circumstances around their death is extraordinary and tragic.  After that, they could not be further from each other even if they were in the same city.  Cannon's murderer was apprehended and charged without incident, awaiting trial.  George Floyd was murdered by cops.  4 cops were present, 1 performed the action that ended his life, the other three were released on bail and awaiting review.  

Police officers have extraordinary legal protections as well as union protection of their jobs.  If you've seen the Breonna Taylor case, she was innocent and murdered by cops during a no-knock warrant where they burst in and shot her to death.  No cops, none, have been arrested.  Still.

False equivalence has all the trappings of systemic racism that "All Lives Matter" has, while wrapped in a smug little bow of self-righteousness.  People pat themselves on the back for bringing cases like Cannon's to the fore, and seemingly pointing out the hypocrisy that (sshhhhhh *Black*) people use the death as an excuse to cause further problems...without taking a second to acknowledge the root cause of the issue:  Police running unchecked.  Police exhibiting overt racism, and being trained and led and function within a racist system.

Not to mention, there are a lot of death's happening that need called out and given widespread attention...houseless and transient sex workers, Trans Women, exploited children forced into sex trafficking, children in cages in the United States border states...want me to go on?

I guess, as a quick post script-  you ask anyone outside of the Midwest to tell you who Jacob Wetterling is, you may get blank stares.

Time to come clean

 I'd like to extend an apology.  I'd like to extend an apology to people with feelings who also think, and form opinions, and have considerations, and allergies, and whoever else this applies to.  And, as this outdated mode of communication allows, with the largest amount of sincerity and gravity I can muster.

I'm going to be directing this to a specific set of people.  Those in support of the current administration can go for a walk or have a smoke or whatever.  The people who identify as democratic, liberal, and specifically progressive are who I'll be speaking with, and if other people who don't fall in that category who might find themselves clapping back with opinions and ideas and how they don't whatever about the "D's", then you can probably powder off since I know this message won't affect you either.  You and the supporter's of the administration right now are there, and I'm long-winded enough without trying to reach you.

In the last few years, apologies can't be the little kid -looking at your feet while kicking sand "I'm sorry" that lacks weight or belief that the apologizer understands what it is they're sorry for.  Acknowledgment of the pain, however large or small, needs to come with it.  And also your role in the action.  I know this, because I myself have people that have consciously inflicted pain on me and my family and *will never* apologize or acknowledge it.  

And for knowing that, here is my acknowledgement-

Last week, if you don't count the natural disasters to affect and harm the Midwest, the news cycle was overwhelmed with the elections and the Democratic Vice-Presidential Pick by candidate Joe Biden.  If you identify with being a democratic, specifically one who aligns with that party come election time, the choice of Kamala Harris was- generally- favorably received.   To drill down farther and to unpack even more, if you're `100% good/status quo with this ticket sans reservation- you're good to take a lap and get some fresh air as well.

Now, I fell in the favorable camp.  There were choices and there were early presumptive picks and NY Times opinion articles... but when the announcement was made, the unfortunate flammatory way that social media controls our basic emotional responses- meaning those that were averse to the choice made their voices heard as loudly as they can be across multiple platforms.  I want to assure you that these were read and seen by myself- every meme and article-which added to the angry comment-section leaflet campaign...and if I may- 16 odd years of social media in play, and the minute someone posts a positive, a person invariably comes out with links to articles besmerching what they like- be it music, movies, or- in this case- a ticket that might keep our nation for drowning in ruination.

And what you are saying has merit=  She's too safe, she's transphobic, she's a cop/cop-supporter, she's centrist to a fault, enjoy going back to a police state, she was incarceration happy, and you *must* want this administration to be re-elected if you think this is a good choice.  Which, friends, is to say I'm not mentioning the comments that were pretty horrifyingly racist.  And moreover, where people said "who am I going to write in, then?"...or that they wouldn't.  Vote.  At all.

Now, MY ACKNOWLEDGMENT is that I saw all this discourses and negative feedback and I got fucking mad.  Real mad.  My frustration, well, I'll talk about that in a second.  But I posted and offered some comments here and there of my stunned disbelief that people would just swing and bat away a choice in such a indignant and arbitrary way.   I clapped the fuck back.  And I would skip the memes, those clever memes, and the comments, and the tears, and the smug know-it-allism to sit with *my* friends at *my* table.  Tough shit, people.  Get on the fucking train or freeze at the station.

AND THEN... I saw a couple of comments where I realized I to, need to dial it the fuck back as well.  Because there are people, BIPOC people, LGBTQIA people, who *feel* this very closely.  And because it's politics and as much as it's been IN YOUR FACE for so long, there's probably a significant feeling of being let down.  There are human beings and if I'm here saying you need to care, I'm doing a shit job of caring.

When Senator Sanders dropped out was the first wave- and I remember people were *feeling* the loss of it, and back then I found myself getting angry at those people who suddenly chose to treat all of this as a national day of mourning.  Because what I was seeing, in my sphere, was people responding to the exit, was with antagonism and anger.  Easy, punch down responses.  People saying they were seeing what could have been the most progressive ticket in history lost after Sanders bowed out and because Biden picked Harris, it was a step backwards.  And it stung.  

And these people, a lot of these people, are my friends.  People I actively (when we're not all in the COVID palooza) spend time with, care about, and love.  And right now, at least in the last 4 years, we are all raw.  If you have a beating heart and give a shit about people's feelings then you *should* care about each other now.  It's shitty that a racist, sexual predator was voted into office who- just three years ago- emboldened the oppressive white wing by saying they were good people and we have since seen the uptick of violence against BIPOC people by our police which culminated in a heinous murder caught on camera by police who felt ZERO regard for the life which they were taken.

I'm speaking really broadly here to the body of democratics, liberals, and progressives I co-mingle with, but there was a brief feeling of unified righteous anger of *something* we could all agree on as we wallow in the poison air.  As shitty as the world has been and as divisive as the last four years have been we *at least* could agree that racism was bad and fuck the police.  You don't deserve any derision or contempt on my part for those interactions and so for that-  

I'm truly sorry for being a part in the unproductive discourse.  

 

PART 2-  

Hey, for those I've just apologized to-feel free to take as much time as you need.  You may find benefit in this next part, or not.  Or maybe it'll inflame you and make you think the apology wasn't for shit or maybe you disagree but I'm still unpacking some stuff that I need to clear up.  

 

I think everyone- every person, every person should stop qualifying their support of the Democratic candidates, needs to stop making a point of calling Biden and Harris their second choice or the worse choice.  Variations such as they are "Not their first choice", "They don't like them either, but"...or "I mean, it's blue no matter what, still..." and just needs to stop braying on social media about how much they think it sucks. It's dismissive, puerile, and outside of trumpeting to your own echo chamber-

It's extremely hurtful to the billions of American's who can't take another day of Trump in the White House.  You included. And if we're going to survive we need to take a second to let go of our imagined perfect electoral choices and start driving toward a common goal.  Otherwise we're screwed.

Your feelings are valid.  Your points are valid.  (Except the jesus-christ-do-I-Have-to-say it again except your racist and misogynistic comments.  Or the stupid fucking flat out inaccurate ones...like Harris being a cop? Fucking read something.)  But hey, so are mine.  So are everyone's.  And I'm sorry not fucking sorry but you don't get to build your own candidate.  Every other individual running that was *your* candidate dropped out.  Sanders lost.  Again.  In spite of the endorsement of the super progressive wing of the Democratic house.  Warren, my favorite, gone.  Klobuchar?  She was someone's favorite and shit on by progressives...gone.  

 And you want conspiracy?  Biden didn't stick his neck out to run until the last possible minute...but when an impeachment happened?  It wasn't because he wanted dirt on Sander..wait, on Harri...oh wait...on Butti...Wait...NO  He wanted dirt on Joe Fucking Biden..look, my feeling of loss of Warren and the endorsement of Joe Biden was like...the fastest break-up/turnaround and find a new partner in history.  If, during his first attempt to fuck with an election meant getting impeached, it's a fuck of a thing when it's because someone said- "take Biden seriously". 

I just said "the first time he tried".  How shitty does it have to get?  How privileged do you have to be to run off on fire about your dislike?  It's not a sovereign duty.  It's an opinion.  And Biden is going to be fine.  Like, just fucking fine.

And even after we've been floating through this goddamn awful pandemic and violent/racist Summer of an election year, as SOON as the VP was announced it became:  "Well THIS is going to get Trump re-elected.  Nice work, Democrats!" And people say *I'm* dramatic?

It's not funny any more.  That's some smart hyper-progressive liberal democrat who (probably) would say "I don't even IDENTIFY with the democratic party today!" and would (if this was a FB post) put some horseshit smart ass meme as a response.  And that, peeps, is where I think my unsteady and anxious mental state has landed me, and I'm pretty no I'm 100% fucking right fellow American's as well:  

Your dream candidate does not exist.  You need to get therapy, counseling, a group, whatever- because EVERYONE processing ALL OF OUR things NOW with EVERYTHING AND PANDEMICS makes EVERYTHING harder...like going through fucking puberty except instead of YOU being dramatic- your parents (Trump) literally make everything worse and are deliberately trying to ruin your life GOD mom I'm going to my ROOM!

I hate this version of me.  I hate feeling the only way to get through the division that we're willingly imposing on ourselves and our candidates is to be harder than you.  I hate that people just go right into social media bickerslaps and assume NO one has read SHIT on the candidates and how they have HURT everyone.   If you're acting so self-righteous, Obama wouldn't have made it through a second term

 

Do you think that there is no one who is going to ask them about the parts of their past that are shitty if they're elected?  Or keep ragging on them on Twitter, or on Facebook where your racist Republican relative's won't STOP BEING RACIST after they win so I GUESS THEY NEED YOUR HELP BEFORE THE ELECTION, HUH?    I guess they'll cancel press conferences and shut down reporters and interviews.  I guess y'all will just keep posting pictures of Harris in an unflattering pose with a stupid ass meme from a meme generator or a GIF of Biden calling someone stupid that one time.  And then everyone is going to come back about Biden's stutter, and then you'll come back with sexual misadventures, and then someone will post the Editor's comment from the NY Times when someone asked why they didn't run with the story as soon as it came up and he had to respond with "We literally ran background checks and have to re-check sources.  It's absolutely possible something happened.  And we had absolutely nothing to run because we couldn't verify the story.  Otherwise it'd be the front page."

So just...fucking stop it.  Everyone has a favorite.  Everyone didn't get that toy for Christmas.

 Sloppy seconds.  First place loser.   It makes you sound three times as bad as the other guy because you're smarter than the other guy when you were in diapers, and doing double fucking damage because- wait...

wait...

...you're clearly the only person who didn't get what they wanted.  And we're all stupid sheeple.

ANALOGY!  Remember toward the end of "Fellowship of the Ring" when all the hobbits and the fellowship have lost Gandalf and Boromir is pissed that Aragorn wants to keep pressing forward because there's just no time?  On your feets, Sam.  Let's go.  Let's win. Let's fucking end this together and spend the next four years putting our candidates to work for us.

Week 11 Action

 11 weeks, 77 days since a Black Minneapolis resident was murdered by Minneapolis Police Officers while being recorded.  As of today, it has been 150 days since Breonna Taylor was murdered in her Louisville home due to a no-knock warrant being mistakenly carried out on her home.  She was an EMT.

News regarding that second part:  Louisville police have taken to restricting protests.  See, the cops who murdered Breonna Taylor have not been arrested by their own police department in spite of a Federal investigation having been opened.  And I guess, after five months they're tired of the protests because what are ya gonna do?  Beat them all until they go home, apparently.

I wanted to double back quick with some helpful nuggets of wisdom for people who are coming around on the idea that systemic racism/oppression is a real problem that has enjoyed dusting itself off and parading around the last 4 years under a racist and oppressive enablist executive regime.  Or maybe you're pushing past the point of saying "Racism is around and everywhere.  BIPOC (I know the acronym and am comfortable using it!) people have a really shitty time with life in general.  Yes, white people rode up here and killed ancestral American's and have decided to continue my education past the crickets which ultimately follow that statement." (Seriously.  Again, European's showed up and everything went to shit for native american's and if it's brought up the response is usually a "Yeahhh...yeah." (stares off into distance, waits to talk about *anything* else)

I've had some of these as my default setting going back to when I was a kid, and even though it's taken 40 odd years until I was helped to understand and (finally) acknowledge (my privilege) that my lens is never going to be the same as the BIPOC community, and the following terms should be dropped from my vocabulary:  

*Note- maybe you don't see anything wrong with any of these terms, but listen to when other people say it after hearing me ask you nicely and offering some explanation as to why.  Also, much like dropping certain violent and harmful racial epithets from our vocabulary that were laced in there after 100's of years of conditioning and being told they were "naughty words", it can seem harder still to unshackle yourself from some of the more harmless ideas, too.

 

"All lives matter"  (They do.  But we're talking about the Black one's now.  There've been 100's of examples, memes, op-ed pieces.  This phrase needs to be done away with.  Black people wanna talk about Black people's experiences with violence and oppression at the hand's of law enforcement and you want to take that away?  How many fucking other opportunities are you going to try and co-opt for your own benefit so they can't talk any more?  It's fuck all rude, yo.  And it's disrespectful, discourteous, and to say it to a BIPOC person is not saying you care about all lives, but you don't care about there's.  Don't believe me?  Why do so many people argue with you, then?  For funsies?  The worst I'd ever heard from someone is that they "don't see it".  Fuck that guy, too*.)

"I don't see color"  (Yes you do.  This is a big fib, Super privileged, and means you're deciding to turn away from BIPOC issues and problems.  You have a messy room and are shutting the door when company arrives.  You're all dressed up with a dirty neck.  Also...because of this next one)

"I have lot's of Black [friends, neighbors, co-workers]"  

(Hey, look, I'm writing this- if you haven't guessed- with the fact that you're a white person in mind.  I'll go big with this idea first- it doesn't matter at all even if  you have spent your life avoiding white people to surround yourself with a diverse crew which...again- bully for you.  Even as a statement of fact it dismisses your own culpability in systemic racism by the company you keep when you are not a person of color.  BIPOC people you may associate with are not a hall pass to wokeness or somehow make you more in tune with the oppression experienced daily by BIPOC people.  And I hear this, a lot, but the "I was talking to our black neighbor and they want cops and don't agree with the destruction of property!"

Let me try and unpack that a little, too, because it kind of weirds me out now that I'm typing it and I had to re-examine that Vox article from a few weeks ago in addition to that Strib article about how Minneapolis is chicken shitting out of defunding law enforcement:  1st up, the Black community (and Latinx, Hmong, et.al.) is made up of...hard idea...ready?  More than your neighbor.  More than that one Facebook friend.  More than your old friend you can bitch about sports or you grew up with rapping all the lyrics to "911 is a Joke" or who you talked sci-fi and cartoons with.  The diversity of ages, incomes, backgrounds, experiences with law enforcement all factor in when discussing and being open and comfortable discussing race and accepting -as a white person- you won't ever understand THEIR experience...even if a comment/or conversation aligns with yours.  

I get it.  We all want to be Jake Brigance in "A Time To Kill" who takes Roark to his favorite crawfish restaurant and everyone knows him and he knows everyone and she calls him on his bullshit faux-wokeness in a white-savior heavy movie.  There are people who are deathly afraid of cops and deathly afraid of not having cops and who (a majority of those polled) agree that none-of-them have had good experiences in their interaction with police and *some* thing needs to change.

"What about (Insert minority) cops?" (The issue is the *system* is damaged, the *system* and structure of law enforcement is *rooted* in racism and oppression.  It doesn't matter if Officer Mother Theresa Ghandi pulls you over while the halo blinds you and an angelic chorus of angels sing from the squad that pulled you over-  They are working for a system that's racist.  It's not a good cop/bad cop.  It's a virus- and much like polling people who live in predominately black neighborhoods as to what their relationship is with police versus your neighbor who lives 3 houses down in Wayzata- different personalities and backgrounds and temperments affect the individual officers ability to do their job- and part of following the rules of the club is you abide by the racism and eat it every day you put on your uniform.

"I think what those cops did was wrong, but I don't agree with the destruction of property" (People disagree and put up huge stinks after the last 6-7 BIPOC community members were murdered by police and staged protests on Freeways and an additional 4-7 BIPOC community members were murdered since then.  

I have tried, several times, to make white people understand who are angrily opposed to the idea of there being *any* problem whatsoever and they are just VIOLENT THUGS RIOTING...all, really, mostly untrue.  See the Auto Zone asshole articles if you need punching holes in that train of thought.  Also, can we take five and breath and look at dog whistle terms, or is that a next week lesson?  Newspapers and Fox LOVE the fuck out of calling protestor's rioters and saying that someone throwing a Dasani bottle is justification for blinding or crippling them.  It's so goddamn stupid people repeat that because news rags love their click bait sounding leads.

Look, my story is dumb.  I was saving myself  $1000 after having brand new cabinets installed on my brand new money pit 15 years ago.  I had the hardware, I had some booze in my belly, it was a beautiful day and the windows were open, and the powerful drill plugged in and ready to make cabinet handle magic.  I managed to get to holes prepped for the knob and when I grabbed the cabinet door to open it and make sure I wasn't punched through to damage my $15, 000 custom maple glazed cabinets with crown molding from *box store*...I froze.  It didn't open.  And because the hinges were custom (and hidden) I didn't realize that I was drilling on the wrong fucking side.  (Gets me mad until this day)

There was this hot.cold wave that started in my stomach and got me almost light-headed.  I was grinding my jaw so hard I thought my teeth would crack and I opened my mouth to scream FUCK at the top of my lungs and I did it so forcefully no sound came out.  I saw red.  I literally saw a red tint over everything and through the thudding of blood behind my ears, I could hear little kids outside screaming/laughing as the warm air blew in.  I saw my wine glass in the sink and thought how much of a mess would I make if I just...threw the drill as hard as I could into the brand new sink..?

We patched the tiny holes with stand and putty and I've been here ever since.  Unless I tell you about it, you probably wouldn't even notice.  First world problems.

What I cannot imagine, for the life of me because it terrifies me, is having that kind of anger bubbling underneath my life every single day.  Fear, anger, resentment, embarrassment.  Just walking out the door.  And then watch something like the George Floyd video and it just opens you up and lays you bare?   And you want to sit comfortably as *one person* complaining about the destruction of shops and subsequent clean up?  (During a pandemic)

Friend, that is privilege.  And you should be grateful the entire country wasn't burned down 400 times over.

*Epilogue-

A few weeks  back I tried to jokingly draw parallels for a mutual friend who did the "All Lives" argument on a friend who is also BIPOC.  I mentioned it's not cool to do on a BIPOC persons wall, and made a joke about going to a kids birthday party and screaming "All birthday's matter yeeearggghh!" and grabbing the presents, about how as a white person you're not going to have cops called on you for just about anything under the sun if you're in the world existing (read: Being alive read read: Jesus fucking Christ how terrible does the oppression have to be before this sinks in?)  

Anyway, dudepants dressed me down something fierce in a incomprehensible and nonsensical tirade that included his tax dollars and rude of me for implying they were racist and anyone gets by with hard work etc.  I didn't bother responding since it was the next commentor saying THEY knew systemic racism was a hoax because THEY'VE never seen it and THEY are 1/38th mighty Choctaw or some shit and I was probably a lib snowflake who wouldn't respond.  Honestly, I just didn't have the energy for Facebook.

This week I read a screen grab with another long tirade as to why Trump has supporters in the face of everything and unlike a lot of other thought pieces, this was distilled down to the barest of essences much like calling racism...racism.  And basically it's hate.  Hatred and sharing the hatred of liberals and people who are "weak".  You want to help others?  Weak.  Wear a mask?  Weakness.  Think black people have it rough?  Weak.  And when weak ='s hate, that grips tighter and tighter to people who will share in the mutual animosity.  It made me feel pretty hopeless.

To pivot again, and to out some of my martial arts family, the aforementioned conversation was with those folks and while karate people can be frustratingly not aligned with my own feelings on advocacy and I don't blab about it during class- I always felt it was a welcoming diverse family.  And then I remembered about weakness and hate.

I fought that dude, a lot.  Helped 'em get a black belt and everything.  And even though they were the knob sharing offensive memes after school shootings, as the senior belt and experienced person I fight with a considerable amount of restraint. (How else do you learn?  And being super angry-mean while sparring never works because you will get your own ass kicked and humiliated.  Seriously, it's not hard to figure out.  Teach teach teach)  Anyway, home boy got pretty full of himself and after that belt turned black started getting a bit...aggressive.  Suddenly point hits and kicks had some mustard on them and would be, say, "after the bell".  So I tattooed him.

I rarely get to toot my own horn and feel all manly and macho, and my bigger martial arts accomplishments have been teaching/tutoring kids than at a tournament...but I'll never forget this asshole stepping back and muttering under his breath "I guess we're compensating for something".  Meaning me.  And isn't it just the way, I actually felt bad.  I *am* strong.  I *can* kick and punch hard.  I *can* take a licking and keep moving forward.  (With all the bangs and owies that come with it.)  And I actually felt like I lost control.  For this guy.  This gun toting racist guy who doesn't see racism and thinks everyone gets a fair trade every day because *he* worked his way up the ladder becoming a tradesperson.

Anyway, namaste.  Hope we learned something.  Be safe when you vote.

 

 

Week 10 Action

We are now 10 weeks since George Floyd's killing at the hands of the Minneapolis Police Department and beginning an period of anger and unrest that has not settled to this day.  From today's New York Times:  (8/3/2020)

In Washington, the efforts to reform policing have stalled. Congress can’t agree on a bill and has largely stopped debating the issue.

But changes are happening in cities across the country.

In the more than two months since the killing of George Floyd, 31 of America’s 100 largest cities have enacted policies restricting officers’ use of chokeholds, according to an analysis by Campaign Zero, a group that advocates against police violence. In all, 62 of the 100 largest cities now have such policies in place, including New York and Minneapolis, where Floyd died after an officer knelt on his neck for nearly nine minutes.

Atlanta, San Diego and 67 other cities now require officers to intervene when a fellow officer uses excessive force, up from 51 before Floyd’s death. And five cities — including Denver and St. Louis — have adopted the suite of eight reforms that Campaign Zero advocates, up from two cities earlier this year.

So it's up to the cities and to me (the citizen) and I guess it begs the question:  How do we make these changes last?  According to the article, there are cities who have adopted policies to reduce police violence which have- theoretically- work.  Even here in the Twin Cities, two diverse suburbs (Brooklyn's Park and Center, the former being my home town) were highlighted as police reform models (in spite of a recent spike in gun violence nearby on 63rd and Zane)

The other is rhetorical:

What does policing "look" like to you.  If it sounds weird, hear me out.

"Did you catch any bad guys today?"

"Did you shoot any bad guys today?"

So these are two questions I asked as a little kid when dad came home from work.  He was a "policeman" but now we know that a Sheriff's Deputy isn't necessarily law enforcement patrolling on a street level even though both fulfill similar duties (upholding the law) but the officer in a car driving around a neighborhood is not the state patrol officer camped out at a car dealership waiting for leadfeet is not FBI is not etc etc.

Police needs differ from city to city and state to state.  Not every town is Mayberry and not every town is Chicago or Minneapolis.  Ostensibly, street cops stand to act primarily in an active two fold role:  Crime Prevention by way of being a deterrent (meaning driving around and being a "presence" toward which crime disperses or does not take place,  and as a reactive- responding to crime and emergencies.

All on board so far?  Cops patrol, (ideally) ever vigilant and reporting offenses great and small but rarely in that capacity do they "catch" people red-handed that aren't being targeted.  And the idea of the dramatic showdown like the last 10 minutes of the movie "Heat" where an armed cops comes running out guns-ablazin.  In fact I'd wager you can imagine the scenario in which an officer has their gun drawn, right?  When their life feels threatened or acknowledges imminent danger of bodily harm. 

There are statistics that show the situations - historically- where police involved shootings have taken place or the death of a suspect in custody as a result of their actions.  (I'm leaving out the disproportionate deaths which result in a larger percentage of death's of BIPOC)  What I'm trying to get at is this:

The same cops that comprise those officer-involved shootings/deaths aren't necessarily the one's who are "fighting crime".  Those are the detectives, the forensic pathologists, crime lab, cyber-crime unit (who may investigate when someone commits a crime and it gets social media exposure) whereas the actual "feet on the street", when the respond to these situations are acting as (again) deterrents. 

I'm just thinking, if it takes all kinds to make up a law enforcement unit, why is it always the image of an officer with a badge, gun, taser, Ray-Ban's, wearing navy blue that somehow acts as this catch all of heroics when literally the expectation placed on them is unreasonable?  It's not like they're hall monitors looking for truant kids skipping school or smoking on school grounds-  but they're still the one's responding- fully armed- to those phone calls.  To loud noises or parties.  To black people laughing at a picnic.  Or napping in a common area at a college.  To *expired* tabs, to bad checks. 

And because of the above mentioned apathy and senators from bumfuck Mayberry, MN refusing to acknowledge that the problem is the cops and the way to resolve the problems is placing a stop payment on the never-ending budget increases and requests for more bodies in squad cars...we get just that. 

And nothing. Ever. Changes. 

It's a business model.  It's shitty service and shitty food but the restaurant stays open.  And when something is broke you fix it.  When money has been no object, you take it away from the source of the problem (Defund) which is (Funding) white supremacy and violent subjugation of BIPOC people in designated areas which suffer from neglect and a failure to get underneath the root of the weed and remove it, and simply dead head it and walk away while the rest of the yard gets overrun with dandelions. 

Resources *I* find to be useful are in the article from the Strib-  hire people who understand the diversity of the residents and provide outreach and a resource for them.  Hire people who will be visible community advocates, pay them, and make them visible.  Continue to have an investigative unit(s) working on the city and county levels and maintain a ground level peace-keeping unit that responds to reports of wrongdoings in a sensitive and responsible manner who have been trained in de-escalation and specialty-based outreach for mental health, substance abuse, child protection and truancy.

  Keep hiring them.  Hire more of them.

And then take a long look at your staff and the laundry list of offenses/complaints that have been leveled against officers who have been forgiven to such a degree that it becomes terrifying that level of ineptitude remains employed in an armed position.  (aka "You would fire someone for fucking up that much")  Make resources available and required for any cop that drives a squad and carries a gun to have rigorous and mandatory training and re-training annually as well as resources to address any and all mental health concerns officers may confront on the job.  Because it isn't easy and no one said it is.

Basically, start dumping the money into addressing mental health all over.

And then arrest the cops that killed Breonna Taylor.