DVD Mini-reviews!!!

***Mini-Reviews! I've had a chance to clean up my queue and digest a few titles I've been wanting to check out for a while now. All are available on Netflix and probably in the "previously viewed" DVD bin at your closing DVD Rental Store. Which is probably a good chance to stock up on previously viewed DVD p0rn and not have to venture into an adult bookstore or feel skeevy that the employee's will recognize you with your copy of "The Boobyguard" sandwiched between "Legally Blonde" and "National Treasure"...heh. Anyway, I'll put my "recommends" first and the shut-offs last.


Where the Truth Lies

A solid thriller with Mr. Darcy and the Bacon. Nothing challenging, but if you're in the mood for a solid murder-mystery (with a metric ton of nudity) then this'll be your game. 4/5

High Plains Drifter

Yeah. The old-timey western that Clint the Squint directed. What really elevated this one is the supernatural bent. (ICYC, it's the one where he has the townies paint the town literally red.) Is he or isn't he an avenging angel, demon, whatever. Really, this along with "Josey Wales" are two excellent genre films and would make for a great double/triple feature with "Unforgiven". 4.5/5

Never Let Me Go

I wanted to see what all the fuss was about this "elevated" Oscar Nominated sci-fi movie. And boy, is it pretty with a killer hook. (Kids are cloned and grow up until they reach a certain age when they turn into donors. Think "Logan's Run" meets "The Island" with less bullshit and more Ang Lee thoughtfulness) And it is pretty. And deep. And ultimately kind of really depressing. So much like I like ridiculous comedies, I don't like bleak. 3.5/5

Reno 911: Miami

Another stupid comedy that's my kind of funny. I'd caught a few episodes back when I had Comedy Central and "got" the funny "Cops" style mockumentary filming. And really, you don't need a lot of backstory to understand this one. That said, I know that this and stuff like "The State" aren't for everyone- and that's cool. I ended up laughing my ass off a few times, but I also am a fan of ridiculous. 3.5/5

SKIP THESE...I took a BULLET for you, people!!!

Cedar Rapids

I liked the cast. I like the foxy flight attendant. (Hi, Tracy!) But again, it was a bunch of ideas strung together from better films. Here's the bottom line- The Midwesterner being treated like a dipshit flipper baby is tired. John C. Reilly doing a Will Ferrell impression is a little old. A decent bit about crashing a gay-marriage party and a meta-joke about "The Wire" by a former "Wire" cast member ultimately wasn't enough to make this memorable or a keeper.

Alexander: Directors Cut

I wanted sword/sandals/spectacle. I wanted to know if it was either as bad as folks thought, or a masterpiece. (Which someone said it was decent) It was crap. When a mid-film sex scene fails to tittilate and becomes the exact moment I shut it off, should tell you something. Epic fail, for an epic movie.

The Adjustment Bureau

Boo. Crap. Nothing to see here. Charming characters? Okay. A dippy premise? Check. (C'MON! They have HATS...that help them go from place to place quickly. Someone typed that and thought it'd be a great plot device.) I won't violently denounce this, but it was so "meh" it feels like I wasted a night watching it.

Super

I'd love to find the article that talks about audiences getting bored putting Super-Heros in "real-world" settings. I may have made the error of having watched "Kick-Ass" the week before. (A better, fun ,bloody, goofy romp.) I ended up shutting this off as well. Juno being Juno, Bacon being smarmy (Which, again, see "Where the Truth Lies" for a better film. Or "X-Men: First Class"), and Dwight Schrute making the same Dwight Schrute faces just bored me.