I'm a good cook.
No no...it's true. I was going to start a cooking show called "The Cathartic Gourmet" (This was after a dissolution of an old relationship where I told a friend that I lose a lot of weight when I go through break-ups and he told me that he ends up cooking. A lot. I dunno...I just a funny image of a guy with flour all over his face and tears streaming down while using a tenderizing meat hammer to reduce a chicken breast to crepe' size while preparing chicken piccata. What? It's how the gears spin.) I'm kidding. If Moda weren't around and left to my own devices I'd probably be living off of Boca, or home made bean burritos. Or pestering Redwright for dinner like a needy dog scratching to get in.
So here I have amassed a few impressive (and impressive looking) kitchen tools, but the one I always seem to get mileage out of and retain my laissez faire attitude toward preparation (i.e. I'm lazy) is my crock pot. So here's an easy veggie chili recipe to stave off the bone numbing MN chill that I learned about 4-5 years ago and have been steadily making my own subtle improvements on. (2 caveats- First? I don't ususually dig manhandling the beef, dig? I can grill stuff pre-made in patty format, but yeargh. I keep thinking I'll find a hair. And even if you are omnivorous it still tastes fine. And is healthy. The 2nd caveat is there is a sort of punch line at the end of all this. Oh, wait...3rd caveat? I've only made chili. One of these days I'll make "Plop Plop Chicken", I promise, but if you have any additional recipes on hand I'll take'em.)
Easy-Make Vegetarian Chili, for glorious doi!
Ingredients:
-24 oz can of petite diced tomato
-4 cans of assorted beans (Black beans, white kidney, dark red kidney, hot chili beans, etc)
-1/2 package of Morningstar veggie crumbles
-1/2 large onion chopped
-2 tbsps chili powder 2 tbsps cumin powder 1 tbsps cinnamon
-1 cup of beer *
-4 tbsps olive oil (2 for the pot, 2 for the pan)
-Splash of red wine, Splashes of Tabasco
-NEW INGREDIENTS AS OF 1/25/2010----1 small can diced tomatoes and 1 can extra beans.**
Sautee' onion in pan w/olive oil until onions start to get a little transluscent then add the splash of wine*** to get the good smells going. Add the crumbles and allow to defrost adequetly but not get "browned" ****
Add 2 tbsps of olive oil to the crock pot, then add drained beans and diced tomato. (Draining will prevent a soupier chili*****) Add seasonings, crumbles/onion mixture, and beer. Mix Mix, Stir Stir, Married Young, it's all a blur. Leave it alone for several hours, checking and stirring periodically. (Or high for less time) Makes 8-10 servings depending on how gassy you mind being. Feel free to store it in tupperware in your fridge/freezer for easy lunches.
*Clearly my cooking options need to serve as a vehicle to cocktail, as you are able to finish the beer. Creating a relaxing atmosphere helps to make the sensual experience of cooking a memorable one. Clearly.
**So, um...You gotta, like, test the chili. Periodically. And if you have a "helper" that may need to try it you'll notice a marked reduction in how much chili you have. Tossing in an extra can will help replenish. Doi.
***Early FAIL #1? I'd brown Boca patties on the stove top and break them up. Y0u know. Like it was "real" hamburger. It wasn't until I was introduced to the Morningstar crumbles that I sidestepped that. (And get Boca crumbles if that's your thing) Oddly enough, my roommate preferred that method. Not oddly if you know my roommate. Sauteeing the chopped onion was another
****Clearly. I'll see if a future foray into pasta with a vodka sauce just winds up degenerating into a martini party.
*****Early FAIL #2? I didn't drain the cans and used a whole can of beer. And added chopped cilantro. It winded up looking like a bubbly, beany, soupy stew. I heard tell that corn starch would thicken it up a bit so I kept adding and stirring until the consistency got better...then left it.
It wound up the consistency of drying kindergarden paste. That was the year I ruined the Super Bowl.
ps- I tend to eyeball the chili powder/Tabasco etc. The measurements...for what their worth...are kind of malarkey.
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