Temporarily speaking...

Temp. Tempe. Tempeh. Tamp. Tarp. Taupe.

I'm now officially at the two week mark of my gig at the Big Gay Wagon Company (Heretofore known as "BGWC") I'm falling into the temp regiment which has some pros and cons which I'd like to share with you today.

Pro-
Distance. It's ridiculously close, being in S. Mpls, and literally takes me almost 10 minutes to get there.

Enclosed parking.

"Casual" October...meaning jeans all month long and possibly beyond.

A mildly relaxed culture. My direct report has the strangest and dryest sense of humor. You'd almost think he wasn't making a joke because he'll say one and walk away to let it linger. ("Please remember to lock your PC when you leave your desk. Otherwise you'll get hurt." Walks away)

His boss? Caught me looking at my script. Turns out he's a community musical theatre guy. And acts it, too. Campy, goofy...curses every so often...b#tches about his diet. Weird. I know, right? When I...I am the low key theatre dude.

Helpful and friendly cube mates. I was one of 3 people in a class of 14 to be elevated to the "quick learner" program...meaning 3 days of training then GO! The seasoned permanent employees next to me seem to sympathize.

The cafeteria...Holy. Okay, so this "campus" has a deli, coffee shop (I'll stick with the free break room swill, thanks) convenience store, bank, gym, and proper cafeteria. And it's big. And cheap. I forgot my soup so I figured It'd be as good of an excuse as any to check it out and they had a "build your own deli sammich" bar. Right? So I made a reasonbly healthy turkey sandwich with produce about as big as a Dagwood thinking that after I weigh it at the check out it'd be $11. $3.50. For a 16 lb sammich. The gym, btw, is only $14 a month for employees. What?

Full web access. In close to 15 years of corporate living, I've never had that.

The con...

Training, per normal for temps, is redonk. The trainer was poor and frequently had class wrested from their grasp by a few of the students. We were tested on material that we barely had time to learn and it was graded against us. Since I was pulled early, most of what I've had to do is On the Job. And without job aids, there'll be a lot of mistakes.

Temps...are kind of recyclable. The 1st, a manager came in and gave the whole dog and pony show of "you're not just a temp" and "you could very well get hired permanently!" and "many of our employees who started 4-5 years ago were temps!" in an attempt to make the fact that we're contracted and possibly expendable a little less frightening. Doesn't work on jaded hacks like me. And moreover, you kind of need to keep your head down while the perm staff are all like buddies and they treat you, well, like a temp.

Gallows humor. I don't know if I think that candor is a great thing in the workplace, but speaking of being a temp? My direct report has dropped a few funnies about how we don't technically work for him. Moreover, I suspect that he's of a narc nature. Why?

My cube is sandwiched between both managers. And they both like to get up and stand behind you to see what apps you have open. Sorry guys. I'm not trolling teh web on company time.

My commute home sucks. There are no easy freeway entrances to 35W North. I either have to go through Uptown or go South 7 blocks to 35th. Lame sauce.

The employees are maniacs. At the end of my shift, it's practically a footrace to get out of the building. And since it's badge scan exit, it's a daily occurrence that someone forgets to scan and gets trapped in the revolving doors. Moreover? That delightful parking garage I told you about? Man...people are f#cked up. Sorry. But I've nearly been ran over 4 x's now. It turns into the Indy 500 with people speeding (i.e. going at least 20-25 mph) toward the exit. And apparently, some people think that "compact parking only" means "my RAV 4 can take up two spots...chumps". Look, at the end of the day I wanna go too but this seems all too much like "Let's see how many temps we can hit before leaving!"

Lastly? I'm not a huge fan of the work. It really...well it isn't really "me". It's nice to know big bro is floating around to help with doofy stuff like password workarounds, but man. Yeah. Mortgages...

Sighs...Oh well.

It's a j-o-b.