I feel bad for dumping stupid work malfeasance on the masses. Last weekend Moda and I met some buddies for mega-cheap HH at Stella's (Which, my fish loving buddies, should all hit. It ain't called the Oyster Orgy for nothing.) Afterwards, aglow with cheap oysters and 2-fers we wandered over to the Lagoon where I grumped Moda into seeing "Wolferine"...Why this popcorn flick was playing there, I don't know. That instinct should have trumped my inner nerd, but the wine made me bold. I demanded. And Moda, the champ, said "yes"...
I'm not gonna talk about the film too much. I wanna keep this short. I'm one of the few that likes certain movies that folks like to gang up and hate. Me? I find the LOVE. Star Wars prequels? F@ck you. There were lightsaber fights. If I had to wait until floppy Jar Jar left, fine. If I had to wade through the EMO acting stylings of Hayden Pantyterry then fine.
Then I realized the power of "3"- X3? out of the hands of Singer? It wasn't an abortion...it just was a muddled good idea. "Pirates"? Glut. Way. Too. Glut. "Blade 3"? Well...let's chalk "Wolverine" up to a case of Reynolds-itis.
I like Ryan Reynolds. He's a gen X Chevy Chase. Smart Ass. And he can be charming in the right vehicle. And for Deadpool? The Merc with a Mouth? Perfect.
Except...okay, here are my analogies:
"Wolvie" was like that kid in High School. Popular. With everyone. Easygoing. Athletic. Coulda probably gotten an athletic scholarship to...oh, maybe a Div 2 school. But they choose academia. And accepted a full-ride to, oh, Northwestern. Even after High School...and beyond...folks remember that kid fondly.
Except around 2nd semester, he agree's to go to a party. His buddies goad him into getting stoned. Pretty soon, their Saturdays revolve around the bong and "Real Genius" on DVD. This kid drops out after 2nd semester. Moves back home. He becomes..."The Case"...the one who shows up at home with 7-8 of his "buddies" back from 2-1's at Applebee's. He ends up working a dead-end job...all that hope and prospect...gone...Washed out.
See...I KNOW what they wanted to do with "Wolfie"...They just dissapointed the frack out of me. Washed it out with too many characters in the hope they'd appease hardcore nerds in order to be true to the source materieal. In fact, Wolfie was the least interesting character out there. I mean, they tried to establish a minimum of cannon in order to make this...but one of the earliest lines he spoke in the 1st movie when he was asked if his claws hurt to come out? He says "Every Time"...Well Mo-Fo made a point to pop out his claws every chance he got. Hurt...indeed.
That's not to say I didn't like it. There was a lot TO like, but I liked it because I knew what they were trying to do. I would have hated it as a newbie. I would have been confused. And what would have cut down on that confusion is by making this High School Hopeful's useless stoner buddies...I mean.. Wolfie's Weapon X cronies (Gambit, Deadpool, um...Gun-Guy...Black-Eyed Pea's Cowboy...Wannabe Fattie...) non-existent. For an origin story, it really made us try an look away from the facts.
And more blood. Weird, I know, but considering the two characters combating each other the whole movie have...um, claws? You'd think they'd make it a little bloodier. Heck, the first "X" had more bloodshed. This? Neutered.
Sad thing is...I'll probably still buy it an re-watch it. : (
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