Today...of all days...Is the infamous Baby P "Half Birthday" extravaganza!
For the unitiated, a Cliff Notes History:
Doi, I was born on X-mas. And while the big question that begs addressing whenever I get that pitied look from folks after disclosing said birthday is: "Oooooooo, you must get gypped on gifts, huh?" Actually, not really. I think we all do pretty well. (Well, to be fair? Papa P usually gets quite a bit. But boy deserves it, yo) The one really chagrining thing about X-mas b'days is that growing up, Baby P's buddies were usually home with their family and relatives. Setting up their own toys or eating their own X'Mas meals. In other words, no Panda Party at Skateland for this bouncing boy. No swimming parties at Elm Creek. No going apeshit at Chuck E Cheese. It was the same for me as the rest of them. Sadness Pie. : (
But never fear, quoth the folks. We will celebrate MID-way through the year, so that you don't have to miss out on the festiveness which is the childhood b'day. It was dubbed, the HALF-birthday. (Or for the truncation-inclined: "H'B'Day".) Right after school'd let out, we had days and nights free to frass. We had a Panda Parties. McDonalds Parties. (And that cake they made. Awful. I'll never forget biting into one of the balloon decorative things and it was like biting old hard bland sugar.) Giving myself a bloody nose on the zip line at Elm Creek. (Face first into the gravel) And? One of my favorite H'B'Day mems:
At age 5.5, we threw a theme party at the (At the time) new BeeP's house. In the interest of being cost effective, Mama-san read in a party book on how to throw an inexpensive theme party for kids. This gimmick was to blindfold the kids, have them walk single file (Hand in Hand) and walk them threw your house/outside pre-set "obstacles" while the host (Mom) narrated. (ex: Tape a bunch of string to the ceiling and say "Watch out for the spider web" or walking us over to sheets laid down with cornflakes and warning us to "Be careful not to break the bat eggs!", and the last number= Walking us outside threw the little blue kiddie pool saying "Ooookay. We're crossing the river now, hurry across to avoid pirahna!")
When it was all said and done, I ran upstairs to ask mom if I could go swimming in the pool. (Addicted to water, I was) She acquiesed with the reminder that I was to not-under any circumstances-get my "Good" H'B'Day clothes wet. (She had full knowledge, even at that tender age, of my penchant for flinging myself in pools/lakes/ocean's while fully clothed)
So I did. In a nice little pile by the back door to the porch. Sploosh Sploosh Sploosh.
By the time the cry of "CAAAAAAAAKE" followed by "DON'T TRACK WATER IN THE HOUSE, KIDDO!!!" we all barrelled upstairs like so many stampeding water buffalo. What happens next is LEGEND!
I obeyed the letter of the law. If not the spirit. And standing there with my big brother, and little neighborhood buddies. Boys and Girls. Yes, standing there in the dining room stuffing the cake in as fast as I could masticate it: Butt-Bare-Butterball-Nekkid. Ma snapped a polaroid for posterity, showing me so many years later that what amazed her was that no one in the picture seemed to care. Oblivious. Everyone is standing around, eating cake, with this nude dude in the middle. Ah, the folly of youth.
Nowadays I do such things for pure shock value (ala' Saturday night, when either Dorajar, the curious, or myself'd wind up lifting up my kilt up for giggles. Don't worry Ma. I was hammocked)
So, I have the best old gift coming up which is getting out of Dodge for a week, and in a completely self-serving act (In addition to trying to drum up commentor's. Y'all have been ridiculously quiet. Time was when folks'd leave 6 comments a gander!) I want you to comment on the following:
A) 1st memory or any memory of yours truly that sticks in your head (Doesn't have to be from a birthday, but it'd help.
B) A great birthday memory of your own, or regarding someone else.
Word. This'll go up on LJ to, frasser's.
HAPPY HALF B'DAY TO MEEEEEEEEEEEE!
3 comments:
Happy Happy Half Birthday sweetheart!!!
1st memory of you: before we even met, you responded to something I posted on the callboard about Harry and the Hendersons having a new scratch n' sniff special feature on the DVD. You quoted it and said I was funny. I think that's when I started flirting shamelessly with you.
Tech had his half burfday on the 21st. I bought him designer beer glasses.
So my first meme of you was meeting you at the bar when I was with Kaiser. You remember meeting me at the xmas party the prior December with RPK. I am just trying to remember specific details of either of those evenings (stupid memory). But obviously it was good because I consider you a friend now--thats big in my book.
So best burfday ever--32nd birthday. Thank you Wang Fo! Great one indeed...
You've always had a thing with pools. I still remember the yellow aluminum one with the blue top on it. You wanted to go swimming, and Mom said you weren't, (and this is important here), under any circumstances to take the cover off the pool.
Well, we lost you. We searched all over for you. The cover was still on the pool so we *knew* you weren't in there.
We were all inside kind of freaking out when Mom looked out into the 2nd driveway and saw a little bump poking up from underneath the cover just moving around.
You had lifted it just enough to crawl in the pool and then put it back so you wouldn't be misbehaving.
That, folks, is what growing up with MD was like.
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