This post may seem a little boy-centric, so advanced apologies.
So my instructor got himself a wild hair up his butt and after stretching, doing our "Torquemada" exercises (Slow sidekicks with leg weights. They buuuurn.) he decides to spend the last part of class teaching Ju Jitsu concepts. For the Martial Arts Luddite, Ju Jitsu is the style O' Martial art that usually gets showcased in all of those pay-per-view full contact fights. (Ultimate Fighting Championships, K1, etc.) It's a grappling* style akin to wrestling which uses joint and leg locks to help secure, restrain, or otherwise destroy your opponent.
Except when you practice it? Ya look prrreeetttty gaaaay. Gay.
And it took just about all of my self control not to make a comment.
"Okay, Mr. P: I want you to lie flat on your back, and Mr.___ is going to mount you. Mr.___, you're gonna want to kneel a little further up on his chest. There you go, now wrap your legs around his waist Mr.P. Goooooooood. Then you're gonna want to buck your hips...."
Homo-Erotic Imagery abounds. I nearly lost it, but I was able to keep the "tea-bag" jokes in check. Good for me. And, I got to start re-learning ju-jitsu (Our instructor attends the Gracie Seminars in Cali. He has stories of little Brazilian kids who've practiced for years tossing adults around like they were dolls.)
And today? My bruises have bruises. On the back of my calves, no less.
* There are 2 major Martial Art categories: Striking and Grappling and their concepts are exactly as they are titled. Striking primarily focuses on punches and kicks, and Grappling relies on trapping the opponents limbs, redirecting their energy, and choking.
Some Examples of Striking Martial Arts:
Boxing, Karate (and it's sub-styles), Kung Fu/Wushu (and it's sub-styles), Tae Kwon Do, Krav Maga, Kali, Capoeria, Pentjak Silat, Savate, Kenpo (Chi-nese, Japanese, Dirty-knees, Lookit these!)
Some Examples of Grappling Martial Arts:
Aikido, Ju Jitsu, Wrestling, Pankration, Judo, Sumo-tori
Example of Martial Arts before you've had any caffeine: Tai Chi
1 comment:
Well, the real question was and is: "Was it wrong that I got a boner?"
(Uhhhhhhhh, Thanks folks, I'm here all week.)
I was telling J about class right before we went to bed. I asked if she wanted to try out any of the moves.
I think the final "No" came after I asked if she wanted to start in the top-mount, or if she'd like me to mount her.
Post a Comment