'Merika! F#ck YEAH!

Pictured: "Marvel Secret Wars Captain America Action Figure". I owned this and a slew of others... which ruled. Strange enough, every figure- good guy...bad guy...all came with a shield with a weirdo image card in it. Cap's was the only one that made sense. Incidentally, I'da killed to have the Ice-Man figure. He was a variant offered in the Fleet Farm catalogue. He was, like, the "Mer-Man" figure of that toy line back in 1985.


I want you to use your imaginations. Imagine a little blonde curly-headed little kid who was heavily influenced by imagination and the stack of comic books he always read at the cabin. (You know...instead of being outside) A kid who did his best to make believe he was whichever super-hero was ingrained in his brain on any particular day. His costumes were usually his Underoos worn over a pair of his mother's old unitards- with the occasional red ski mask or towel-cape being used to complete the ensemble. We all know that he spent a majority of the time as your friendly neighborhood Spider-Man (and still coughcough does...sometimes) But he did his due imaginary diligence and tried being every superhero. At least the one's he had underpants for.

One prop he used had multiple purposes, and it was a plastic-y garbage can lid. Originally he used it to play "Perseus" from "Clash Of The Titans" wielding it (along with a stick or fishing pole as a sword) against Kraken's (Willow tree) and Gorgon (swingset) alike. Another use for that shield was when he found his attention zig-zagging toward a cabin comic that told the story of Steve Rogers. A sickly young man who (through SCIENCE) becomes "Captain America"! Kicking Nazi ass left and right before gettin' frozen, thawing out in the present day to lead the Avengers. Around that time Marvel, bless'em, was reeeeeally trying to cash in on their properties based on the success of "Superman" (and to a smaller extent, "The Incredible Hulk" TV series) but rather than release them as major motion pictures they all stayed on the small screen. And so while my favorite hero ended up being played by the kid who was "Rolf" in "The Sound of Music"? The good captain? Was Reb Brown. In a pervy conversion van. And a motorcycle.

Still...I put on my Captain America Underoos. We had an old plastic football helmet with the the cage removed that my mom and I painted it blue and added wings on the sides. I had a blue felt mask with an "A" sewn in the middle. And I'd take that garbage can lid, wedge it between the handle bars of my Big Wheel, and tear ass around the cul-de-sac...dismounting occasionally to take off my "shield" and fling it frisbee style at my imaginary opponents while humming the "Captain America TV Movie" themse song. (And that shield was about as graceful as you'd think a plastic garbage can lid could be. Occasionally it'd catch some air and bang into the aluminum siding on our house, prompting my mom to yell)

And then I zig-zagged on to another hero. Maybe it was "The Flash"...or maybe "Green Lantern". Either way, I think I got busted by dad for walking around outside in my underwear. In December.

Here's the thing..."Captain America" is a hard property to produce. Evidenced by terrible TV movies and the 1994 turd (to be fair, at least that one tried to get the costume right) He carries a SHIELD for pete's sake. The character isn't hugely compelling. They tried making him cooler when the "Ultimate" universe imbued him with an interesting arc and a better "look" (No more lil' wings on his mask) but he's not all that edgy. Not really hip. Regardless...most geeks just want the films to be as close to their beloved properties as the one done on paper.

I mean, you can't just throw a red cape on Betty White with a $20 million budget and have it say "BATMAN" on the title card. (Wait...write that down) And coming off the heels of some surprisingly popular and well done movies, how was this guy gonna fare on the big-screen? Here's Marvel Comics version of a big-blue boy scout. Which brings us to the short review, free of spoilers even:

During WW II, 90 lb weakling Steve Rogers is given secret super sauce to become the worlds first Super Hero Super Soldier. He fights Nazi's, Over-Exfoliated Bad Guys, and Sheriff Ed Bell's Grouchiness. Hijinks ensue.

And here's where I'll leave it. IMO, they got the movie really, really right. And this might seem blasphemous, but I'd even go so far to say that...next to "The Dark Knight"? It's probably one of the best super hero genre movie to date. I left the theater with a big stupid grin on my face. I loved every frame. I loved the geeky nods that weren't distracting, hamfisted, or overt. I loved how (like the Hammer in "Thor" earlier this year) the SHIELD wasn't distracting or stupid looking. I loved the MUSICAL NUMBER! (Take note, "Spider-Man 3")

I loved the knowledge that this is going to be another part of what's going to be an ambitious film next year. (And pleasepleaseplease be good)

Mostly, and maybe I'm being too rosy with this- I can appreciate that it had a lot of heart. And my buddy Eva was right...there were definitely places that you get choked up. Do yourself a favor and check it out.

5/5 stars Highly Recommended

Fringe Accomplished

Yowza. I needed a few days to recuperate from the Fringe but I'm hoping to get back to status quo for your reading pleasure- covering such topical and important issues like running, gardening, auditioning, and how majorcaly depressing the end of summer/beginning of Fall feels*. First up:

We closed out "Knit" after a successful Fringe run. It was well attended, well-received by the audiences, and it was a real pleasure to perform and sad to see it over. (How often can I say that after my previous post discussing rotten experiences?) For me personally, it was kinda nice to play a guy who was closer to the chest than most "characters". I dunno. Takes the guess work out during rehearsal. And it was nice to work with some really talented people. Are you sad you missed it? GOOOOOOOOD!!! (I kid. Kinda.)

Par for the course, I did not get out and abuse my artist pass and set a record as to the number of shows I was able to take in. I maxed out at about 5-6 shows and I'm fairly happy to report that they were all consistent in terms of quality and my personal enjoyment. (Oh...there was some...not-so-greatness...but it's a palate cleaner. And my own fault for checking it out without doing homework. Whatever. Live a little and be adventuresome, right?)

Personal Fringe highlights...beside seeing buddies: Mid-towns inventive Fringe Cocktail tasting, the MotoI kerfluffle (Apparently some people had a bad experience, and that steamrolled car of teh interweb in to a full blown flame off. The night in question we did a quick scan of the patio and thinking the crowd was prohibting movement? Promptly said "F#ck this" and hit Herk's next store) And enjoying the crap-read spending too much- at the neighboring restaurant situated next to our performance venue. Where you should all...go.

So yeah. Happy to have been involved again after a few years. Happy to have had my Fringe experience. Happy as hell I can breathe now that it's over.

Next up: S.O Birthdays, Sad tomatoes and non-existent Zukes (WHAT?), a new Trail half-mary I recently discovered, and...your favorite: Movie Reviews. (Papa hasn't even SEEN Captain America yet...)

And the Fair. Hellllllls yes.




*Anyway, the subject of Summer's End is touched on in our dialogue during the show...about how the 4th of July is the "true" turning point and it's all down hill from there. Not so. Granted, mid-way through the Fringe we (thankfully) hit a cooling respite so it wasn't all swass and frass. Still. I woke up this morning. August 17th. And the morning felt kinda...chilly? Grump.

YEEEEAH FRINGE!!!

Pictured: Detail from the 2011 MN Fringe Festival Show I'm currently involved in: "Knit One, Purl the Other". An extremely hilarious and entertaining mock-trailer can be seen here. I WANT you to go see it!


Giggity Giggity Giggity...it's that time of year, friends! Tomorrow is the beginning of the 2011 MN Fringe Festival. It's like the State Fair...for theater folk. Only with less deep-fry and more 4-H Talent shows. Whether you love it or hate it, if you're in it in some capacity you're bound to get feeling like a frisky kitten. For me, rehearsal has felt like any other rehearsal until we hit tech yesterday at TRP- and when it was over and I was leaving? Boom. Fringe-bomb. (And trust me...I love theater. I love my friends. But there are quite a few folk out there in Facebookville who have Fringe-bombs going off...verrrrrry early. Hence, someone disabled their event notification starting in mid-July. Ahem...)

This'll mark my (hummuna hummuna hummuna) 4th Fringe appearance? 5th? I first started seeing Fringe shows waaay back in '98 when an old girlfriend I was chasing was performing in a 2-woman show at the old Loring theater. Not having had a lot of knowledge of what the hell the Fringe was, and moreover not really "whelmed" by that show, I was ready to write it off and go back to drinking the summer away in solitude when on a whim I decided to check out the one-woman show that followed it. (Two-woman show to One-woman show. I was downsizing?) The production was about the life an Irish woman and her descendants through three generations. It was called "Slap". And it was terrifyingly good. (Which should be a testament. I can barely remember the "okay" Fringe shows I've seen, much less the terrible one's I try to strike from memory. Granted the last 12 years of Fringe has been usually accompanied with copious amounts of booze between and sometimes during shows)

I ended up checking out a few more shows that summer including a romantic mind-f#ck that another buddy was in as well as a dance piece that was narrated by a poem called "Go Ahead Cling to me Dear". (Which, as a non-fan of the genre I enjoyed immensely) Those awesome shows, coupled with seeing theater-buddies schlepping around and the camraderie, the feeling of being an actual community versus competing theaters jockeying for audiences, the waiting outside in lines with your Fringe schedule accruing liters of swass in the hot early-August air? Well I left the festival of 1998 thinking that this is something I want to be involved with. And sure as sure can be in 1999 I found myself experiencing my first Fringe show. And my first experience with a shitty Fringe show.

Which happened to be the same show.

For those new readers who haven't heard this tale. (Back when the only way you could get any sort of "word of mouth" on the quality of a Fringe show was by waiting for the local rags to write something you could read about the next day. Or people walking out of a show saying "Suck. It suuuuucked" etc.) I was in a production called "Swing Time Radio" which---to date---received my faaaaavorite review ever: (Minor paraphrasing) "Some shows miss the mark. Others miss the target entirely. 'Radio' puts on a terrible 40's radio show by a group of non-actors that is difficult to sit through. Non-Hammy efforts and sweet accapella singing of 40's standards by (Actor I agreed to do the show for), (Actor I had a crush on and coerced into being in the show), and (Yours truly) fail to save this production. This show is painful to watch."

Yeeeeeah. Like my old man said: "At least they spelled your name right"

Now most folks might be traumatized by that experience. Not me. With the exception of 2001 I've kept coming back. And while as an audience member, I'm not as voracious with my attendance as some of my more dedicated Fringe-Friends (I think seeing 9 shows last year...that I paid for? Was a record.) I can still say I've seen some engaging and memorable productions. (And some turds. There are many) As a Fringe performer I've been afforded the opportunity to work with some talented casts and crews- many of whom I'm still happy to be friends with. As an actor I've been able to be a 40's radio singer, a re-enactor of the short films from the Prelinger archives, a ninja, a reality show contestant who strips down to a banana-hammock, and now- and this is crazy- a normal guy who acts as a sounding board in a very sweet alternate-reality play that revolves around knitting. And I don't knit. In the show. (To be honest, this is probably the most linnear narrative in a Fringe show that I've either seen or been involved in, as well as the most normal character I've played. Am playing. Whatever. I wear khaki's)

So, by way of pleading like we all plead- I'm very pleased with this show. The cast is solid and if you're looking for something you can bank on? I feel I would very much like to see you in the audience at Theater in the Round for "Knit One, Purl the Other". And if I don't? I would very much like to see you milling around the various venues and would very much like you to give a fellow Fringer a sweaty hug.

One less way to reach me...

pictured: A soon to be excised relic from Mikey's house. Please note...I don't actually have that as the style of phone. I actually use pigeons. And smoke signals.

Does anyone else still have a land mine..?(Sorry. Land LINE) I confess that I do. In fact, for the last 10 years or so I've been juggling my cell and home phone...I mean, that thing has lasted me 4 different residences at least. And I've loved it. It's nice to be able to fill out MORE spots on applications when it asks you the simple questions: Home phone? Cell phone? Why of COURSE I'll fill you in. Natch. I'm available alllll over.

Except I'm not very wealthy. And in going down the long list of s#it that I can probably live without? In terms of personal cost savings? I'm thinking the old cordless phone needs to go buh-bye. To be honest, the only reason I kept it for this long is laziness. Truth. (of COURSE) I disguise it as nostalgia/whimsy but let's be real...I'm never going to own a novelty Felix the Cat phone. And truth time- It's how the water company can "dial in" and get my monthly H2O readings and I don't have to risk getting grossed out by wading through the dust bunnies and cobwebs in my basement behind the dryer...just to do a meter-reading.

So now I'll have the one phone...my shellular. And even cutting that one cost will probably incur another (my phone is a hand-me-down as it is...and a flip phone...and, at the ripe age of 3 years old... considered pretty outdated- So if anyone has any cheap suggestions on something with texting/emailing capabilities, let me know. )

And if I'm filling out a survey/questionaire/audition form? I will NOT be writing anything in the space that says "Home Phone". Ha HA! (Sniffs sadly. Whatever. The battery kept cutting out on the cordless anyway)

Next up? Cutting the $10 that is my cable bill. Don't watch the telly. Only use the big screen for movies. And if there is a TV show I like? I'll Nutflix it.

Stay-De-Um!

Pictured: Section 310, Sunscreen, and mild -but not bad- vertigo

FINALLY!

Can I get an amen, please? I was starting to feel like the only person who hadn't been to the new Twins Stadium. F#ck, my best friend who is about as far from being a sports fan had been there. What is HAPPENING IN THE WORLD!?!?

Here's what's happening: I am not a gi-normous sports nut. (Which, I think, mildly alienates me from about 90% of conversations with most dudes.) I mean I like seeing professional sports at whatever venue it is, but I won't actively pursue purchasing season-tickets...dig? (Or- historically speaking when I was a kid- pester my parents for tickets) And yes, I'd go see Twins games as a kid, sure...mostly through Scouts or Safety Patrol...but it wasn't like I really gave a poop about the game. (I'm a 7th inning "leave"er) And when you go to those promo games, invariably I'd wind up by the jumbo-tron in the nosebleed seats. (With one notable exception in 1993 when a friend was hooked up with bullpen seats b/c she worked at the hotel the opposing team was staying at)

Oh, oh...and don't get me started on stadium building. I was of the mind that the Dome was perfectly fine in spite of friends arguing the opposite. I mean the acoustics sucked. Fine. Andthe sightlines were meh, and you'd get vertigo just trying to navigate the stairs. But c'mon...it was built in the early 80's! People liked multi-tool stadiums back then! It was like a Triple-Change Transformer! And remember when we HAD to get a stadium for our new basketball team back in 1990 it set in motion the bitchin' and complainin' from the other franchises (See why I'm jaded and resentful? Look how well the Wolve's have done! )

So that was it. Meh on sports. Fond memories of powering down stadium beers and Dome Dogs. And if you're a professional sports team, you better bring home some medals or some shit before you whine about needing a new place to play. Boom. Truth bomb.

Being a fan of new experiences and having heard the hubbub from pretty much EVERYbody, when afforded the opportunity to check out a game at the new stadium (Versus Detroit, which is ironic in the sense that I feel like every game I saw between age 10-16 at the Dome was usual the Tigers) I hopped on it. And here is where I salt and pepper the crow I'm about to eat, because the thing about the Twins Stadium? What's really, really cool about it? Is how much it gets right. Which in turns, makes those faults of the Dome that much more glaringly apparent.

See, the Dome makes it so you're sort of "herded" in to the big concrete muffin tin. And ya gotta circle and circle to and move and climb to just find your seat. Madness. But at the new stadium you get to walk across the plaza to enter the stadium and you are greeted with BASEBALL. Maybe it's the bronze sculptures all around. But to Simple Mike, it was apparent that you're about to experience a Major-League Baseball game...and it's going to be awesome. And that's when I understood. And I didn't get my Hebrew National like I normally do, but instead got a deep fried turkey sammich. And a $7 Summit. And I was sold on traversing the escalators to the upper levels. I was sold on "non-trough" bathrooms where you uncomfortably relieve yourself "cheek to cheek" with another guy. I might not run out to get a jersey, moreover I'm still reserving the right to be skeptical as to the Vikes getting a new place to squat- but I'll tell you...if you haven't?

You gotta check out a game.

I'll go with you.

I still need to get a Hot Dog.

And I still love Saints baseball...