Owe a blog or tuppence...

Has it been a month?

The important thing to remember about new big-kid work gigs is establishing a routine. For me, it meant learning how to get up before the ass crack of non-dawn. As a mildly insomniatic frasser, I figured this'd be no big deal. So I started my daily routine with stretching, push ups, and crunches to help "wake me up".

Doesn't work so well. I'm back on coffee faster than Bub's jumps on heroin...fans of "The Wire" will get that...

I'm not gonna lie. I'm not a fan of the new gig. I have limited interweb access. It's busy. 8 hours worth of busy from 1st log in. No down time. And I'm expected to churn out productivity like it was my jo...Okay. Shup. But 8 hours non-stop outside of my particular skill set hurts. And I'm new. And it's hard to formulate a response to my S.O. when asked: "how was your day?" when it starts so early and your faculties don't kick in until hour 2 that you really don't know how your day was until it's over. For real. (I sometimes forget cases I worked on a mere 6 hours prior because I'm not "with it" until 8 a.m. A co-worker will ask "Do you remember this case?" And I'll say "No" and really? It's no big surprise to anyone at the office. We easily work 250 orders a day.)

So I'll break this down, pro and con, and hope I don't get deuced in the interim. I may need to get some job counselling soon.




Pro- I started light railing. I had a practice jump a few weeks back when I forgot my cell phone at work and now I'm an old pro. Get up at 4:45. Stretch/Push Up/Sit Up. Hit the Hiawatha line by 5:25. Read for 20 minutes. I'm there. I'm saving over 20 miles a day in commute time. I can read the 20 minutes until I'm there. Unless early morning airflight travellers knock my head with their luggage. F#cks.

Con- I get home 30 minutes later than I normally would. I park in a conspicuously break-inable Park and Ride. I have to walk four blocks to my building in the morning, rain or shine. The LRT bells are pretty jarring when you haven't woken up yet. And my first trip to work I had a Shawshank style shakedown when I couldn't produce my paid-pass which was deep in my satchel that I'd tucked in after paying. (Note to self. Keep paid-pass close to your paid ass)

Pro- I'm done, off shift, ridiculously early. On the days I may commute? Traffic is nil. Esp. in the a.m. The only worries I have are when MNDoT chooses that day to arbitrarily close a lane to do Crosstown makeovers.

Con- When I was searching for work, I kinda was hoping for something closer to the metro. Sure it's on the LRT, but man...It's behind MOA. And no sensible MN'otan goes there unless necessary or has a crowd fix that can't wait until the State Fair. Beggars can't be choosers and all that...but still...

Pro- Such a laid back environment. It's almost lovey dovey. It's diverse. (Moreso than the Stag) Someone told me that I was called "McHottie" during training. (Don't people keep that to themselves?). I've seen people hug. They're fairly laid back. There is free water, coffee, overtime is encouraged with the threat of free catered food, plenty of fridge space...My yogurt hasn't disappeared yet.

Con- I hate it. I'm used to such a safe, structured corporate environment= even when I was in such a diverse place as the Bullseye= I still think it's weird. I'm not cool with words like "retard" being thrown around to describe people co-workers think are dumb. Or "Gay". It doesn't strike me as insensitive or deliberate...just ignorant. And a minor bitch, there isn't a stall in the men's room that has a partition. Which, okay, whatever. I've pissed at the Metrodome. But your junk is in plain view of ANYone standing in front of the mens room door when it opens. (Anyone) And I guess, well, I thought there'd be a little something to keep the lil' guy from public eyes.

Pro- I'm starting to "get" it now. I've gotten past the freshman hump, and I think I'm getting it now. I've been doing overtime. Asking fewer questions from my resources.

Con- I realize that this isn't a job for someone with 14 years of corporate quality/training experience...or corporate experience in general. If I was just out of college...heck..HIGH school...I could get this job in a few weeks. Move up. And hell, I find myself wishing I had...housing market being what it is.

But after the initial freshman shakes wore off, I figured out how the productivity cheaters cheat. Why the people who are perm. reps are jaded. And even after working 3 weeks and seeing 8 new "new hire" classes come through...realized I'm sort of disposable. It doesn't feel like home. My 22 co-worker b#tches up a storm daily. I used to wonder why they made such a fuss about being on time until my cube mate (I share a cube) frequently shows up 10-45 minutes late and takes 8...8 breaks a day...4 of which to smoke, and the first only 25 minutes after she's shown up.

In short...I feel old. Overqualified. And swimming in a pool of people who could give a f#ck when I'm in debt, have a house...roommate...car...cat...and really care about being employed. It's frustrating.

And I can't blog at work. Or check Yahoo. And I hear people b#tch about being bored at work?

(sighs) I go from being unhappy at my big kid job. To unhappily unemployed. To temp. To unhappy temp. I don't even have a theater gig to look forward too.

Double sigh.

Did I mention I have to get up at 4:45 am?

Did I mention I get "coaching tips" from my direct report...on s#it I never was trained on how to do in the first place?

Did I mention there was no training? We had 2 days of "This is the Company!" Then we sat with people who did their jobs...and didn't tell us how to do it.

8 New Hire classes have came in since I started. All with the same frightened look that the last one did. The same one I did.

I put my stuff away in a single drawer so that the p.m. person who shares my desk doesn't feel like I'm horning in. My disrespectful cubbie doesn't feel like that. She set up shop as soon as she set down with a box from her last job. 20 odd family pics. Beanie Babies. Coffee mugs full of pens. On the weekend, I ran into a buddy from my 1st training class asking what the f@ck was wrong with the person that sits there in the morning?!?!?


I don't know. I just tune her, and her s#itty IPOD music that I politely...and repeatedly...and repeatedly (she turns it up if I leave for break or lunch...or get an email from someone asking why she needs it so loud?) tell her to turn it down...

Anyway. I'm still on the hunt, folks. I'm feeling 3rd grade patronized, daily. And it chips at the soul.

Oops...I owe a job blog

It's been a whirlwind at the temp gig. I've been experiencing the ups and downs that anybody goes through when they are training- confusion, elation at remembering work details, frustration that I wasn't issued my parking pass which resulted in getting red-slip reminders (Thankfully, no boots or towing of my vehicle) and I'm settling in slightly. I haven't really seen much of my direct manager but it seems that there are batches upon batches of temps coming through after me which leads me to believe they may need to open another floor to accommodate us all.

And there's the commute.

It's been pretty easy, all told, in spite of the construction on 35. Except the last few days have been a little weird. I was stuck behind two F-150's who were pretty lost coming to the Crosstown and were puttering along at 30 mph which caused some wheel-clutching as I worried I'd be a little late (And believe me, they are death-death-death on even a smidgen of late-liness) Yesterday I realized that accidents don't cause MN'aton's to become lookiloo's, but construction turns folks in to an older version of a 8 year old with Tonka Trucks when the big back ho is being used to tear up concrete with a wrecking ball dangling precariously from a mega-chain. It caused traffic to snarl for 10 minutes while they watched road crews demolish 35 SB in an astonished fashion. Frustrating for yours truly. Fascinating for people who think that sort of thing is incredible. (This theory is backed up by the 5 people I have told, including my roommate, who said that they would have probably done the same thing and watched...even after the fact I was in disbelief)

One notable thing- I downsized my man-purse to accomodate a Trapper-Keeper folder I found to keep my temp paperwork/job aids seperate from the contents of my bag (including my lunch) in order to lighten my load as it was. It was an old thing, but still in tact and apparently was a throwback to my big bro's HS days. (Yes, I still have that s#it on hand. Bite me) I threw it in my manbag without realizing that someone scrawled the word "ASS" in block letters with a Sharpie on it before tossing it on the desk of my trainer before engaging in side-by-sides...I kept that side down before getting to work.

In other news, my SO is on her epic "Thelma and Louise" road trip and her texts are making me drool with wanderlust.

Beers in Moab indeed.

So yeah...new joerbed...

The first two days of jobhood are a bit of a whirlwind. The first thing you want to do is maintain the air of enthusiastic energy coupled with a forwarded minded sense of mobility. This, of course, is difficult when after having spending many weeks of bathrobed unemployed torment can cause a sense of internal tumult. You spend an inordinate amount of time in a training room with the lights off getting a wash of new-company information like business tiers, mission statements, internal structure, corporate goals, manager names, associate manager names, team lead names...not to mention the shadowing of individuals whose positions you will be emulating with the caveat that "It seems a LOT at first but in time you'll get it..."

And you know you will. And it still leaves you feeling like you've watched a 10 hour anime' festival. Headachey, boarderline epilleptic, and exhausted. Thank goodness you learn that coffee and water is free in the breakroom.

What tends to set my Spider Sense off if that there is such a large number of temps in the office. Almost 80% (if they aren't management) are temps. Certain key phrases that set me off are thrown out "turnover", "You aren't 'JUST' a temp'...", "Cultish atmosphere", and other bon mots that make me wary. Not to mention the fact that the pay cut, after I do some careful math, is considerable. This would be a great job if I was just out of college and upwardly mobile. (As one of my trainers pointed out they were.) But for a guy that has 14 years of corporate experience and after quietly (impressive for me, I know) observing certain behaviors is not quite sure this...again...is the right fit.

See, it made me realize you are at the discretion/peril of the agency you get work through- You are told the name of the company, the"possible" job title, a very-very generic description of responsibilties, and the pay range. The more desperate (read, Me) will gobble it up. You get sucked in by the agencies enthusiasm, their description that many temps have landed GREAT permanent positions and this is one of their FAVORITE companies to staff for! (Why so great? Because they fire and re-hire you to re-staff them? The current 80% temp staffing is what set me off to that)

So. I perservere. I will work this job. And in the mean time...

I troll my dad's place of employment. Not my calling, but for what they do it pays infinitely more than what I'd earn at the above.

I send a resume' to another place recommended by Bri-Bay. Again, not the same $ but it's downtown, better $, and not temp. (Read: Benefits)

I do the same thing I always do and send a resume to a job I am probably hugely underqualified for but liked the position nevertheless. (Maybe not hugely, but it was a leap. I hope my cover letter "professionally" made them smile)

And off to another week.

Oh Hai...Jobbed!

Yes, yes. It was a fast turnaround to be sure. And I'm glad of it.

So after checking my business on Monday and wondering where the hellacious stomach cramps and nausea were coming from, I received a call from the Temp agency with the question:

Can you come out today for a 3pm interview.


Wellllll...I was going in for a mani/pedi, and I've got to watch a repeat of the watered-down VHS taped TV version of "The Breakfast Club"...but I guess I'll make this onnnnnne exception HELLS YES!

So I pace. I frass. I try to go for a run but end up getting sick midway through and turning around. I wait. (It was still reasonably early, btw) Shower. Shave. And sweat. Wait, what? Sweat?

Yup. I have a sheen, at this point dear Martin, and I'm feeling re-grossed out.

I check and re-check the directions and head on out early. Annnnnnnd 35 W South is now down to TWO lanes? Furk.

I arrive and check myself in the rearview. (I drove with the "cold" blasting from my blower so I wouldn't sweat again) Turns out (A) I didn't shave well. At all. There's a dark soul-patch looking thing at the corner of my mouth in addition to a sideburn that has turned into a Triffid. Great. Also, a cut on my chin. Great. Also...dry skin? I have dry skin? And it's a lot. I get out and head in, noticing the car booted next to mine. (I saw the sign that says if you aren't here on company business you'd be booted. Great. I hope they were warned)

I join the group of 16 other hopefuls in the lobby with my contact who I'd only spoken to on the phone. (Tall drink of water, btw. She assures me my car will be fine) I head to the restroom to check my appearance in full light and...Gah. My hair is still wet a bit and slicked down. I look like an extra from "There Will Be Blood". I flumpf it up as best I can, brush off superfluous dust/dandruff/kitteh hairs from my blazer and use a wet napkin to blanche the dry skin off of my neck. Okay.

By the time I got back out to be let upstairs, I was sweating again. Nervous sweat. And as we were led to a conference room, I ended up sitting between a recruiter and a manager. (God, Oh God, please don't let me smell. Please) I nervously mop off my forehead with an extra paper towel I swiped and absentmindedly listen to the speaker speak. Before going, my recruiter told me that this company is cool, see? And she loved hiring for them but they were hard to break into but the guy leading this was a guy who was temp and is now managerial after a few months. Okay. I get called up, and wonder if it's sweat I can feel trickling down my arm or my imagination. If you've ever sweated in a suit, it sucks.

So we interview. It's cool in the office, which I'm grateful for. I realize my normally hip and frassless demeanor has been shaken a bit. I see my hands are a little shakey (No breakfast) and my answers are slightly stuttered. (What? Actor, rehearse, hello?) I glide through it, shake hands, and depart.

2 hours later, I find I'm one of a few candidates to land the position and they really liked me. Thank you, Sally Fields. And I pass out that night, only to stay awake until dawn.

So now, I'm setting out my clothes. I went and got a respectable (kinda) haircut. My car runs. And I turned in my background check info yesterday. (Who'da thunk remembering address for the last 8 years woulda been tough, right?)

And now, we will have a night in with Mexican food and hopefully all will be well. If I don't post as much, remember I'll fill you in later in the evening.

Yee-Haw