Pip Pip...REVIEW'D

Review - Sun Tzu’s The Art of War - No Refunds Theatre Co. - 5 Stars
Oct 22, 2007
“If you are not in danger, do not fight.”If you’re missing that Fringey feeling of great guerilla theater, or, heck, if you just need a really good laugh (with some formidable brains and talent behind it), have I got a show for you. That show would be No Refunds Theatre Co.’s staging of the classic military strategy text, Sun Tzu’s “The Art of War.”No. Really.Actually if you want a laugh, it begins with the program - an almost completely fabricated biography of the original author, cheeky bios under the heading “Who The Hell Are These People?,” and a director’s note that is largely just a picture of one of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles above the words - “Sun Tzu is Chinese. Ninjas are Japanese. I know. I don’t care.”This disclaimer is necessary because while the text is almost entirely drawn from Sun Tzu’s book (minus the introduction and conclusion of the play), it is largely performed with the help of No Refund’s signature characters, the ninjas. Charlie Bethel, well-known for his whipsmart one-man adaptations and performances of classics such as Beowolf and Tom Thumb, adapted the book with director Matt Dawson, and the collision of the two styles works wonderfully well.

Playing what would be the traditional Charlie Bethel role of host/narrator/creator of characters in this production is the urbane John Middleton, much of the time wielding humor as dry as a perfect martini. In opposition to Middleton’s self-possession is a trio of whacked-out ninjas clad from head to toe in black, only their extremely expressive eyes showing. The ninjas are Kiseung Rhee (so great in the recent Nightpath reimagining of “Measure for Measure”) as most of the royal characters, Mike Postle as Sun Tzu and most of the military commander characters, and Christopher Howie as the tall and hapless military grunt, the target of many of the other two characters’ assaults and even the narrator’s disdain. This combination of Bethel’s style and that of No Refunds could have stumbled by being too goofy (not respecting the source) or dull (respecting the source so much that one forgets to stage it for a live audience). The fact that it doesn’t wander into either of those trouble spots is something of a minor miracle, and they’re to be commended for pulling it off.

The text is crisp, simple military theory, interspersed with Sun Tzu’s own illustrative examples of what to do, and not to do, in action. Middelton keeps things moving along verbally, while the ninjas alternate between a sort of martial arts version of interpretive dance and role-playing as the narrator dictates. Middleton does get in on a bit of the oddball fun when providing the voices for the story of Sun Tzu demonstrating his theories for an emperor using the ruler’s army of concubines as stand-ins for soldiers. Sun Tzu’s voice is a John Wayne impersonation that I like to think must be a nod to the Duke’s one big blunder into costume drama when he took on the role of Ghengis Khan in “The Conqueror” (The movie is painfully awful, and truly beautiful. You’ll laugh til your eyes bleed. Rent it. The fact that they filmed it downwind of nuclear test sites before anyone thought radiation was a bad thing and most of the cast ended up dying years later of cancer just makes it weirder. Only in America.)

This is unfortunately the perfect time for a show like Sun Tzu’s The Art of War. I say unfortunately because our country is currently waging a handful of wars of its own devising and one wishes our political leaders had read Sun Tzu before embarking on their adventures. Sun Tzu understood the practicalities of war - terrain, politics, leadership, morale, provisioning, and above all, diplomacy. One of the more ruefully funny parts of the book concerns Tzu’s assertion that the greatest victories in war are the ones that are never fought, the ones in which no one raises a weapon, and no soldier loses their life. These victories are won by negotiation and are almost never the subject of song and story. But only the smartest and best strategists ever win them.

The audience brings its own subtext into the theater with them. About halfway through the performance, I didn’t think I could laugh at the show anymore. All I could think was “Oh man, it’s so blatantly clear. Common sense, completely ignored. We’ve done everything wrong. We are so screwed.” Yet laugh I did. Because Bethel, Dawson, Middleton and the Ninjas know if we don’t find some way to laugh at it all, we’ll go mad.On top of the misfortunes of the enemy soldiers portrayed by Howie who keep getting the stuffing beaten out of them... Beyond the giggle-inducing demonstrations with action figures and crude maps scrawled on muslin...The big laughs come at the expense of the leader with no military experience who thinks he knows better than his generals. Rhee, as the incompetent emperor making one poor decision after another in Middleton’s list of missteps, also makes a series of slow double-takes to the audience which become increasingly amusing. The leader is never mentioned by name. There is no need. Those who are inclined to get the joke, will get the joke. Those who aren’t can just enjoy the inept antics of the witless emperor trying to conduct a battle with no allies, no knowledge of the enemy, or strategy (yes, a “strategery” sign makes a fleeting comic appearance). That’s one of the charms of this clever presentation - it’s full of comedy and common sense anyone can appreciate, but each audience member can make up their own mind what it all means, and how it might apply to our current world order.

If you’re not in the mood for political satire, it works as slapstick. If you’re not in the mood for mindless comedy, there’s a high IQ just below the surface winking at you if you want to be in on the bigger, and slightly darker, joke.Nice to finally see a full production from the No Refunds crew. I seem to be one of the only people who missed the various incarnations of “Kung Fu Hamlet” - which developed quite the cult following. In retrospect, I probably shouldn’t have been scared off by the zombies and 80s TV sitcoms in their subsequent Fringe shows. Their hilarious contribution to the Five Fifths of the Wizard of Oz event was second only to the Scrimshaw Brothers for entertainment value. And Sun Tzu’s The Art of War has reassured me that whatever they do, I’m in good hands. Next up is an onstage version of a graphic novel, “What’s Done In The Dark,” a mix of action and illustration. For those who worry that might be a bit grim or edgy, they assure in the program ad, “just because it’s serious, doesn’t mean it’s legitimate theater. We’re still No Refunds, after all.”I beg to differ. They may not take themselves too seriously, and that’s to their credit, but they’re definitely legitimate theater. And very highly recommended.

Final performances are this Friday and Sunday, October 26 and 28 at the Bryant Lake Bowl (810 West Lake Street in Minneapolis)All performances start at 7pm (Doors open at 6)Tickets - $15 ($12 for students with ID, Fringers with buttons, black belts, members of clergy, certified ninjas, and veterans, active or retired)

For reservations call - 612-825-8949 or visit www.bryantlakebowl.com (online ticket purchase available)

And as the No Refunds site - www.norefundstheatre.com - says, “For more information on Sun Tzu or the Art of War, visit your local library, or ask your mom.”

It's both comforting and a little disconcerting that this military advice has been around, proven right, and regularly ignored, since around 500 B.C. Worth revisiting in this comic context. After all, those who forget the past...

Thanks, Chowie...

If you're My-Spacin'...check out my page for new pics of "Great Moments in Kung Fu Theatre History". One of which..is just neat. I'll look at it when I'm 70 & have Alzheimers and say "Hurrrrghablurginfrabble doo...."

Hooked on Cracked, and other meanderings...

1st- Go see my show. Tonight and Sunday, 7pm, BLB. Spend your $ on some learn-y type theatre.

2nd- This weather is tearing my soul apart. For realsies. The blinding, sideways rain reminded me of my trip to England w/me mum. We left for a Stonehenge tour, thinking that the day would go from gray and foggy to clear and free. (As it had the previous 4 days) Ergo, we left our rain parka's at the hotel. Nope. The sky was nearly black, the rain icy cold, going sideways, and it soaked us both through to the skin by the time we got off the bus and shuffled into the gift shoppe to buy a blanket (my teeth were chattering) and two garbage bags with holes that was labeled "poncho" for six pounds a piece. I. Need. Sun.

3rd- I have delivered unto you my love for Icanhascheezburger.com and occasional listies from Cracked.com. It has become a daily check in at work, and because most of their clips are on Youtube I can't watch 'til I get home. Well...I read this list yesterday, started laughing so hard I had to put my fist in my mouth, watched it at home, DID laugh out loud, then just re-read it today and laughed AGAIN. This is one of the reasons I am weening booze out of my diet.

And it further proves that B'Affleck, daddy or no, was a total Johnny Salami.

http://www.cracked.com/article_15626_11-most-unintentionally-poignant-drunk-celebrity-videos.html

So what DID you do?

While your girlfriend was trading shirts off hugs in the big Apple?

Nothing. Not a damn thing.

Well that's not entirely true:

Friday we hadda show, which went much smoother than you'd think after a week away from it.
Caturday was a HUGE work out, followed by attempts to fix my mower (Nope. And I nearly ripped my hands apart trying to remove the spark plug. It ain't budging.) Planting/Turning over my garden in the front, And then a "Me Movie Night" (Which consisted of my wandering around Video Stardom with my mouth agape, staring at the non-stop milieu of previews playing on their in-store televisions. Friends, say "Hello" to ADHD) I walked away with "FF 2, Rise of the Silver Surfer" and "Behind the Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon".

It is right now, just at this point, that I realize I had rented two flicks with "Rise" in the title, and neither one a p0rno. Hmmmmmmm.

I'll cut to the chase: "FF2", outside of a funny turn by Johnny Storm and some interesting body work by Doug Jones as the Surfer...sucked holy balls. No lie. I felt compelled to remove it but I kept myself stubbornly glued to the screen. Can a comic book film go so off target that it just stops being entertaining? Oh yes. Ohhhhhh yes. And I think that a serious case of miscasting was shat upon the movie. I tried. Don't bother. Don't eeeeeven look at the case. Balls.

Now "Behind the Mask"? Not bad. I liked it about as much as I thought I would after reading the plot synopsis. (Mockumentary/Horror film- Get it?) A fairly affable guy goes into detail for a camera crew how he wants to be a serial horror icon along the lines of Michael Meyers/Jason Vorhee's yadda yadda. They've got great cameo's, video footage from the original locations of those respective franchises, and yeah. It's got enough tongue in cheeks to have kept me engaged for 90 minutes. Definitely a palate cleanser after the tripe that was "FF2". Did I mention that movie was ass on toast?

Sunday was cleaning house, reading, late lunch with the 'Bean, and another show. wOOt, Pip, hollah.

I'm a boring bunk.

And Ode to BJ's and Pants...

Not thaaaat kinda BJ, ya preev's.

So "Sun Tzu's: The Art of War" opened last Freitag. Now, if I've been maintaining radio silence it's part and parcle to the fact that we've been nose to the grindstoning nearly nightly before we opened. (There's a lot of business, dig? And A lot of business means a lot to remember, even if I'm not talking.) We had a moderate house who, while not as keenly snickerable as we'd hoped were still receptive to the concept. (It's a lesson book, see? About war. Written in 500 BCE. That has some ironic observations/lesson's about what to do, and not to do when going into battle that the current administration could stand to learn from. IJS) If, by means of an advertisement, you have a free Friday or Sunday night in October? Head on down to the BLB for some learnin', some awesome food, and only an hour of your night. That leaves time for bowling, yo.

Afterwards, I hung w/Dorajar, Mags, D, and Scora and knocked back my free-ish Surly while I watched them finish the game. We dropped off Mags, and Dorajar got this brilliant idea to hit up BJ's Cocktails, Game Room, and Exotic Dancers.

Yeah. Nope. Okay, I was gonna stop there but we engaged in some interesting discourse about quality of dancer, psychology, body image, the fact that some of the "dancer's" really weren't plying their craft all that well, opting to just lie on the stage and writhe around like someone getting tangled in the sheets after a bad nightmare, and pausing occasionally to expose themselves to any one of the Hell's Angel's who went to the corner of the stage with a single.

Eep.

Saturday was a project day. After fashioning some brefkist burrito's, I took to edging the lawn and prepping for a mow when kaput...the Toro up and died. I'm gonna try and replace the plug, but if anyone has a Craigslist lead for a lawnmower (Preferrably one that, you know, "goes"? And doesn't result in an arm work out...) let me know.

After a nap, and a brief discussion as to dinner we hit the Lund's deli (Where you should all. Go. No Sir Ian sightings though...lucky Ike) Then home. I proceeded to teach Dorajar how to "Kiss Like A Boy" (Seriously. Talking honesty I almost gave away all my patented "all new cheap moves!") Then we lounged around in our undies before watching "Heroes" and calling it a night.

Sunday was a summons to the Royal Families Townhome in Ply-Mouth where I had lunch and helped turn the back forty for some plantin'. Sufficed to say, Monday sucked. Suck it, soreness.

That night? I was Dorajar's date to say "Good Bye" to X. By Mama. Be good to NYC.

Back at it Frasser's. If you read this, come see my show. I HAVE SPOKEN!!!